The Waterbender's Scroll: Writing in Water
by greeneyes117
Summary: The GAang's adventures from Katara's pov. Her REAL diary - the one she didn't want anyone to see. Her thoughts, and the growing complexities of her feelings throughout. Canon-compliant within interpretative limits.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All recognisable characters and places belong to Bryan and Michael.**

**The Waterbender's Scroll.**

**Book 1: Writing In Water.**

My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when the Avatar kept balance between the Water Tribes, Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation, and Air Nomads. We used to sit around the fire on cold nights and listen to the amazing tales of the one and only person who could master the four elements: the Avatar.

Gran Gran's voice, crackling like the fire in front of her, would keep us kids riveted in our sleeping bags as she recounted the Avatar's amazing feats, for her eyes would kindle with excitement, and she spoke as though she actually remembered those days.

But she couldn't have.

Grandma Kanna is very old, but more than a hundred years have passed since the last Avatar disappeared and even she can't be _that_ old.

The last Avatar disappeared some twelve years before the Fire Nation attacked the Air Nomads, and the winds of war that had already been sweeping across the four nations were suddenly fanned into raging flames, flames that have been burning for almost a hundred years now.

Gran Gran doesn't tell us those tales anymore. I guess we're too old for bedtime stories now – Sokka's fifteen and I'm turning fourteen in two days' time – but I think it's because she has lost all hope that this war will ever end. The ruthless Fire Nation is very near victory now, and things are looking pretty grim.

Gran Gran has stopped believing in those stories. Some people believe that the Avatar was never reborn into the Air Nomads and that the cycle is broken. Sokka says the stories are legends, and she must've invented some or embellished them, but then my brother's pretty sceptical about anything he can't see or touch.

But _I_ believe those stories.

I haven't lost hope. I still believe that somehow, the Avatar will return to save the world. I _have_ to believe things will get better, because if not...

If not, I really, _really_ don't know what to do. Sometimes I just feel so angry and frustrated and helpless and _mad_ at someone or something: I just don't know _who_!

Today, I snapped at Gran Gran.

We were delivering Tutega's baby. It was a difficult birth, for Tutega was already exhausted from travelling all the way here from her home, a small outpost to the east where her husband and teenage son used to hunt Tiger Seals.

It was in the early hours of the morning when the baby finally came. It's usually always an amazing and heart-warming thing to see the tiny little newborn cuddling up to its mother, but Tutega started crying when Gran Gran put her new baby boy in her arms.

'Kulitak'll never see his son, Kanna! This baby will grow up fatherless,' she moaned, covering her face with her hand, even while clutching the baby to her with the other.

Something twisted painfully inside me and I looked, stony-faced, at the weeping woman and what she reminded me of. Another fatherless child. There were so many of them. Try as I might, however, I felt a lump in my throat as I cleaned the bloodied rags and prepared the afterbirth for disposal in the traditional way. Poor Tutega! Kulitak, her husband, and their small family lived alone in such a remote area, that he, together with their teenage son, was the last of the men to leave the South Pole. Kulitak left his wife and their young, six-year old daughter alone in the frozen wastes to the east of our village.

I guess he didn't know she was pregnant.

That was early this year. The rest of the men in our tribe left the South Pole two years ago. They have gone to the Earth Kingdom to help fight against the Fire Nation.

Gran Gran tried to console Tutega.

'You have to think of your baby, Tutega' she said, placing a soft sealskin shawl around the tiny baby, 'this child needs you now. Your daughter needs you.'

Tutega dried her tears and looked down at the small bundle in her arms, tucking the blankets around the tiny face with a gesture that was both sad and tender. Iluak, her little girl, peaked round the curtain to the igloo, her large eyes wide and apprehensive. I called her in to see her new baby brother.

'Even if the men don't make it back,' Gran Gran continued, sounding defeated, and not noticing little Iluak had come in, 'It is our duty to care for the little ones. Just as it was their duty to leave, and go where it was necessary for them to be- '

It was then that I snapped.

'The men WILL come back!' I shouted angrily, feeling the prickling of tears in my eyes, but unwilling to let it show. I'd had enough of sadness and tears: 'You shouldn't be talking that way, Gran Gran! If you've lost all hope, well, I HAVEN'T!'

They were all looking at me in surprise, but at that moment I just didn't care.

'Katara, dear –' Gran Gran started.

But I was upset at her defeatist attitude; upset little Iluak had heard her father might not come back; upset at the war; and upset at a whole load of other things. And I was very tired, having been up all night doing chores, as well as helping with the delivery.

'Perhaps instead of moaning about why they left, perhaps we should _join_ them! ' I cried.

This sounded stupid even to my own ears. I guess I just wanted to shake them out of their apathy, so I continued:

'Perhaps _I_ should join them. I'm the only waterbender left in the South Pole, anyway!'

There - that would get their attention!

'Katara!' Gran Gran said, sharply.

My waterbending was something that was hushed up in front of outsiders. But Tutega was not an outsider anymore now. She had joined the village for good.

She had no choice.

'Ah, so this is the young waterbender,' Tutega said, her eyes widening slightly as she looked at me, 'My husband had heard the rumours, but we were so cut off ...' she looked up at Gran Gran, speaking kindly. 'Don't be too hard on her, Kanna. It's just a case of teenagerness. My son went through it, too. It'll pass...'

I turned and left then. If igloos had doors like earth kingdom houses, I guess I would've slammed it, because I didn't want to stick around and hear my 'teenagerness' discussed.

It sounded like something I wouldn't like to hear.

It couldn't have been much later when Gran Gran came looking for me. I was sitting on the ice wall that surrounds the village, looking at the moon. Not that much of it showed, given that there was a hint of dawn already, but the sight of its serene crescent always calms me down somehow.

I heard Gran Gran's footsteps crunching in the snow behind me, but didn't turn around. I was already feeling sorry for what I'd done. Tutega's baby boy will probably be the last baby to be born in our tribe for many years to come, and it should've been an occasion for celebration, not for me to be rude and yell at someone for what they can't help being.

'Katara.'

I expected Gran Gran to give me a good talking to, but her voice was gentle. Somehow, that made me feel worse. I didn't trust myself to speak.

'Katara, I brought you something.'

I turned round then. Gran Gran was holding out a scroll and a small glass bottle tied to a leather thong. I slid off the wall down to where she was. Glass bottles have become a rarity in the tribe nowadays, given that we've been cut off from the world by the war, and merchant ships with such goods don't venture here any more.

'It's your birthday, day after tomorrow,' she said, with a smile, 'and I was saving these for then, but I think you should have them now.'

I had just yelled at Gran Gran, yet here she was, giving me a present I didn't deserve. I felt a lump in my throat.

'What – what is it?' I choked out, taking the scroll in my hands.

'An empty scroll and a special ink. In fact, it is not even ink, it is water.'

'Water?'

She nodded. 'Special water. Add ink to this water and, for a while, it will work like any other ink, but use it on its own and its true nature will come alive, and your thoughts, written in water, will be revealed to none but yourself.'

'I'm not sure I understand.'

'Remember when you were a young girl, Katara, and your mother taught you and Sokka how to read and write? Not many girls in the tribe are interested in learning, but your mother was. Kya came to me as a small girl, insisting I teach her. So I did, along with my son, Hakoda.'

'Oh. I didn't know. Dad never said.'

'Your father was clever and learnt fast, but his mind was constantly on the outdoors and the adventures awaiting him there. I suspect he only endured the lessons because your Mom was there. He always liked Kya, you see.'

I grinned. It was almost like having my parents back again when Gran Gran told these little anecdotes.

But they weren't. Both my parents were someplace I could not reach. My smile faded.

'And you're very much like your mother in many ways, Katara. Like you, she loved hearing stories about the traditions and heritage of the Southern Water Tribe. She wanted to write about them to preserve the culture, and the knowledge of the Southern Tribe waterbenders, for as you know, they had all gone by her childhood. But the Fire Nation raids, when I was a young woman, were unrelenting and had left the tribe impoverished. It was a struggle to survive and Kya never got round to writing anything. When Sokka and you were born, she had her hands full...'

I looked down at my boots, blinking hard.

'This is hers, isn't it?' I asked, holding out the scroll with the water symbols carved into the ends, 'This is what she never wrote.'

Gran Gran nodded. 'I think you should write in it, Katara. I know there may not be many left in this tribe who could remember the days when the Waterbenders were alive, but you, as the last Waterbender, can make your own history. You can write anything you want in this scroll. It is a blank space, and you may make your mark on it in whichever way you like.'

I opened the scroll a little bit. The outer part was yellowing, but the rest of the parchment inside was ivory-white and a bit stiff through non-use.

'What – what shall I write?'

'Whatever _you_ want. Don't be afraid of choosing your own path. I wasn't.' Gran Gran said, her eyes wrinkling up in a rare smile, 'You are Kya's daughter and you will write to her in water, in her own scroll. '

I clutched the scroll to me and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. Perhaps it would, in a way, be like writing to my mother.

'So what about this magic water?' I asked finally, looking at the small bottle glittering mysteriously in Gran-Gran's hand.

'It's not magic. It's more ...spiritual... in nature,' she answered. 'It's very powerful and a few drops of it in normal ink will render the ink invisible after a while, for it removes all impurities.'

'So whatever I write will disappear from the scroll? How will I know what I've written?'

'The moon will show you. Hold it up to the light of the moon and what you have written will appear once more, gleaming bright like the moon itself.' Gran Gran smiled, 'And be sure not to let Sokka know its secret!'

I spluttered a laugh. Of course -Sokka would _die_ of curiosity if he knew I was writing anything _secret._ He wouldn't be able to resist! Not that I have any secrets... I think...

'Where d'you get this spiritual water from, Gran Gran?' I asked.

'From far away.'

'But we haven't had merchant ships travelling here in _ages_.'

Gran Gran just gave me a small smile and didn't answer, but turned and left me standing there with my Mom's unwritten scroll and the small bottle of water dangling from its leather thong on my hand. Of course, perhaps Dad or one of the other men might've brought the curious little bottle back from somewhere exotic, back in the days when the Southern Water Tribe ships still ventured on sailing trips. Still, as I watched Gran Gran's receding back I felt a mixture of guilt, and, for the first time in months, a cautious excitement!

Excitement at having something to do besides the endless chores, the sewing, the cleaning, the mending and tending...something with a purpose that goes _beyond_ housework!

And that's what I'm doing now: writing in my mother's scroll. I've been dithering for ages about what to put in the scroll.

After all, it's got to be _important_!

So I thought of starting what my mother never had: a kind of history based on whatever Gran Gran - who is the oldest person in the village – can remember of the old days. Gran Gran knows a lot of stories – not only about the Avatar, but about the mysterious Ocean and Moon spirits, about the legends of the heroes that made a name for themselves in icy vastness of our land, and beyond. However, my grandmother does not speak much about the days when the Southern Water Tribe had its own Waterbenders. She should remember them, for they were there in her youth, but Gran Gran has always been mysteriously silent about her younger days, and she does not speak much of the time before she married my Grandfather.

However, I kind of got sidetracked.

Instead of an account of tribal customs and stuff, I started to write about myself.

I think Gran Gran knew it, that's why she gave me the invisible ink or spirit water or whatever this stuff is. It really works! I added a drop of it to some normal squid ink and after a while, the words disappeared. I can see them again now, late at night, gleaming faintly white in the light of the moon.

I've tried writing using just the spirit water by itself too, and boy, does it glow in the light of the moon! Even brighter than when it's mixed with ink. But in its pure form, you kinda find it hard to see what you've just written, unless you're under the light of a full moon.

It will take some getting used to...

Writing has strangely calmed me down. Of course, I know I'm not really writing to my mother, but it feels like I am, and it's kinda therapeutic. I guess it's like talking to someone who understands me and what I get so frustrated about.

Sort of weird, because I'm only just putting down my thoughts on an old empty scroll, really.

Well, the village is only made up of women and children so it's difficult to have a heart-to-heart with anyone _my_ age (obviously I'm not counting Sokka, who'd just make fun of me). Gran Gran is the only one who understands, but she is very busy, for she's the Head of our village now, and she's also the only one who's any good with healing medicines.

So I guess it's just you and me, scroll!

There - first sign of insanity (– or perhaps 'teenagerness') – is when you start talking to your own moonlit words!

But I don't care. I've hardly had it for a day (or night, rather) and I'm already fond of my scroll. Gran said to make my mark on it whichever way I want, and I guess for now, this purposeful randomness will have to do. It'll keep me sane, and give me something to look forward to doing, besides the constant drudgery of chores that gets me so frustrated. This way I won't flare up again like I did earlier, and bite off someone else's head.

I didn't always feel this bad. There was a time when the daily chores were something that actually helped me get through the day.

It helped all of us, I think.

Six years ago, when mom was taken from us, it tore our family apart. Dad seemed lost and broken, and would be gone for hours on end, alone in the snow. Sokka started behaving strange and wild, uncontrollably wild, and Dad didn't even seem to notice. Gran Gran tried to help, but Grandfather's health was failing then and she couldn't be with us all the time. Days passed and none of us seemed able to pick up the pieces.

It broke my heart to see our family come apart.

It was my Mom's family too, and she wouldn't have wanted it to end that way.

So I started doing everything she did in the hope that they would recognise that her spirit lived on. I couldn't let her go myself, so I just imitated her and her ways the best I could.

I'm not even sure what I did, only I tried hard, real, _real_, hard, to make it seem as though she was still there, and after a while, Dad seemed to come round.

He wouldn't say anything but he would hug me tight, and eat whatever I cooked (even though, in the beginning, it was tasted horrible!) Sokka stopped behaving like an idiot (well, not any worse than the usual idiot that he still is) and he would come to me and tell me about his plans and stuff (or to mend his clothes whenever they got torn).

For years we survived in a kind of uneasy stability. I remember having nightmares about the Fire Nation raids. I was afraid that the Fire Nation soldiers would somehow get to know there was still a Waterbender in the Southern Water Tribe, and that this time, Dad or Gran Gran or Sokka would be killed.

After the nightmares, I used to spend hours looking at the moon, unable to sleep. I couldn't tell anyone. I felt it was _my_ fault that our family had been shattered – they had come looking for _me_ after all.

Then, just when things seemed to be looking up a bit, and I had even plucked up courage to start trying to practise waterbending, everything was turned upside down again.

Two years ago my father gathered the remaining men of my tribe and journeyed to the Earth Kingdom to help fight against the Fire Nation, leaving me and my brother to look after our tribe.

I was devastated. I had worked so, so_ hard_ for years, to make it work. To make a home for them like Mom had done, but it hadn't worked. It was all for nothing. Dad never quite lost the restless, brooding look in his eyes whenever Fire Nation was mentioned. He tried to explain to me that he needed to go, that, as Chief of the village, he represented the Southern Water Tribe, and that he needed to be where it was necessary, but I was too angry to listen. It was bad enough losing Mom, but if he went too, what would be left of our family?

Sokka took it badly too, but that was because he wanted to go with him.

_I_ didn't want him to _leave_.

The day my Dad's ship set sail and the men of our tribe left, I stayed inside the tent until the very last minute. Then I joined Sokka to watch the ships sail away in the dim light of a dark winter day. As the ships disappeared over the horizon, I felt more empty and lost than I had ever felt before.

I think that's when the frustration started. Suddenly all the chores and daily routine seemed so pointless and useless. I was stuck with a lot of women and children and nothing to do for days on end but an endless mountain of work ( a lot of it created by Sokka, who's messy, and thinks I'm just there to mend his clothes and prepare his food!) and nothing to look forward to but the constant worry of how we'd survive from one day to the next, especially during the harsh, dark months.

Sokka's way of dealing with Dad's departure is to take it upon himself to teach the children how to be Water Tribe warriors even though some of them are barely more than toddlers.

Well, if playing soldier gets him through the day...

But there was one thing that got me through the days after dad left: Waterbending.

I started to practise with renewed vigour whenever I found the time, and very slowly got better. But it wasn't easy. There was no-one to teach me, and I had to figure it out by myself. It was very slow and sometimes, it was one step forward two steps back.

Just as it was an unearthly and beautiful sensation the first time I felt the ebb and flow of the water when I finally learnt how to push and pull it through _conscious_ endeavour, it was a nerve-wracking , bitter and frustrating experience when it DIDN'T work!

And often, it didn't.

Gran Gran tried to give me some hints, for she's old enough to remember the waterbenders, but she is not a bender herself. She mentioned they used to speak about their 'stance' and Chi pathways, but I have even less of a clue than she does about what all of that means.

I guess it is the way you hold yourself, but I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I have progressed to lifting and bending the water and even making waves on the shore, but I'm sure there's much more to that. I can _feel_ there is much, much more, and from Gran Gran's story of the Avatar, I've only touched the tip of the waterbending iceberg yet!

I guess my increasing frustration these two years since Dad left is also because of the slow progress of my waterbending. I always feel guilty afterwards, because I know I should be helping Gran, not hindering her with angry outbursts, but I feel I can do so much _more_ than cleaning and cooking!

Perhaps if I knew waterbending well, I could fight the Fire Nation soldiers if they come back to the South Pole again. This is my secret dream, but I know Sokka would laugh his head off if he had to read this.

Thanks to the magic ink, he WON'T!

There, now I feel much better. Writing on this scroll has really helped me and I feel calm now. I'd better go in to sleep.

I wonder if Sokka remembers my birthday? He usually doesn't.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Today something AMAZING has happened! Well, for one thing it's my Birthday: not that _that_ is amazing in itself, for we don't really celebrate birthdays much, especially nowadays, but Sokka remembered it was my birthday which is slightly more amazing ( probably he had a helpful nudge from Gran Gran) and promised to take me fishing with him.

But what truly has made this day so special is sleeping right now in our tent even while I'm writing this down!

Let me begin at the beginning. Early this morning, Sokka surprised me by wishing me a happy birthday.

'Fourteen years old is an important birthday, kid sister,' he said in the voice he reserves for appearing older than he is.

'Then quit calling me 'kid sister'. I'm already 14-and-a-half-day old'

'Huh?'

'Gran Gran said I was born in the middle of a full moon night, so that means I'm already –'

'Whatever. Listen - a warrior's 14 th birthday is when he goes ice-dodging…' Warrior? I guess Sokka was speaking about himself – he can't know about my secret wish, '…and since both of us missed that special day,' my brother continued, 'I have decided that you, at least, can come fishing with me as a treat. I'll teach you how it's done.'

I ignored the 'as a treat' bit, and the pompous 'I'll teach you how', and hugged Sokka.

Anything for a change of scene.

Only I got more than I expected.

It started well enough with us trekking over the snow to where my brother keeps his canoe. Given that the end of the year is coming, days are longer and the weather more stable. I knew we'd be out all day at sea. Sokka spent the whole time blabbing on about hooks and bait and lines – as though I didn't know anything about fishing! Dad used to take me too, when I was a little girl! His patronising airs had already started to irritate me, but things went really downhill when I used waterbending to catch a fish!

I was very excited at how easy I'd done it, but then Sokka had to ruin it. He collapsed the water sphere for me, got soaked and started yelling. I hate it when Sokka calls water bending 'playing with magic water': it is NOT magic, and it certainly ISN'T playing!

That was already bad enough but when we got caught by some currents and Sokka turned right instead of left and we ended up crushed between some floating icebergs, things really started to look bad. Our canoe was gone, we were stranded on floating ice, and, to add insult to injury, Sokka blamed it all on me:

'I knew I should have left you home' he said 'Leave it to a girl to screw things up!'

I really lost it then.

I forgot all about my resolutions and gave him a piece of my mind. More than a piece: I let him know exactly how I felt! I was so mad I didn't realise immediately that Sokka's shocked expression wasn't because I was yelling.

In my temper, I accidentally broke an iceberg.

Yes, I know it sounds weird, (it was a HUGE iceberg) but it happens sometimes that I waterbend kind of by accident and without having any control. Especially when angry. That's how they found out I was a waterbender when I was very little.

But I had never done anything that big before. The shattered blocks of ice crashed into the sea, the shockwaves almost overturning our small island of ice, but what happened next was even stranger. The sea shone bluish-white beneath us and suddenly, a huge, round sphere of ice emerged from the water, as large as the iceberg I had shattered.

I guess the strange frozen ball had been entrapped in the part of the iceberg that was beneath the surface.

We both took a step backwards, looking up at the glowing ball of ice looming above us, as bright as the moon. My heart was beating fast, for there was something really unusual about this strange iceberg.

It was then that I saw him.

Eyes closed, as though asleep, a small, delicately-carved face and hands with strange markings. Some_ONE _was in there! I could see the small figure as a darker shadow in the glowing ball of ice – the strange, arrow-like markings appeared to catch the glow from the ice and shone a bright bluish-white, like the moon. He looked so ethereal that, for a moment, I thought he must come from the spirit world, but he was completely still. He appeared very young and seemed to have been frozen in a meditation position. I felt a sudden sadness for the young boy: what a horrible way to die: cold and alone in the middle of a desolate sea.

And yet there was something about him...

What happened next almost made me scream out loud. His eyes suddenly opened and they, like the arrow markings on his head and hands, glowed an incandescent white. It took me by surprise, but instincts long-honed by working with Gran Gran tending the sick and ailing in our village, soon kicked in: that boy was _alive_ and I had to get him out of that ice!

I grabbed Sokka's spear and headed towards the frozen sphere. If he was alive, there must be a pocket of air inside, so I started whacking the ice with all my strength, knowing there couldn't be too much oxygen left in there.

In fact there wasn't.

It wasn't oxygen or even air: when I broke through the ice whatever came out was something so strong and powerful it almost blew me and Sokka off our feet. It was like a sheer wall of energy. It tore the ice sphere apart and coalesced into a beam of incandescent white light that shot up skywards, lighting the whole heavens with nature's lanterns: the Aurora, wave upon wave upon wave of it.

When I could finally open my eyes I saw that the whole top of the frozen ball of ice had been blown off and in the residual glow of the energy storm, I could see that the boy was moving. He stood up, eyes still glowing eerily, and climbed to the edge of the crater left by the explosion, high above us.

Sokka pointed his spear at the strange, other-worldly apparition. I couldn't blame him. My heart was racing and I was feeling scared at what I had released from the frozen depths of the sea. Though just a young kid, there was something intimidating about him, and the expression on his face was strange: an old, knowing look, grim yet strangely impassive, and very, very odd to see on a young boy's face.

The next instant, however, I saw his expression change. The strange look was gone, the glow dissipated, both from the sky and the strange markings on his skin, and he closed his eyes and swayed.

I recognised the symptoms immediately: he was fainting! I rushed forward and caught him just as he tumbled down the slope of the crater and eased him gently back down on the snow, fending off a suspicious Sokka.

The strange boy moaned softly, but I could see his chest rise and fall and I knew he would come round soon. A million questions filled my mind, but the strongest feeling was one of inexplicable relief that he was not dead.

I observed him closely, wondering at his miraculous escape. He couldn't be older than his early teens and he had a pale skin, a small pointed face and shaven hair. The markings that had glowed were actually pale blue arrow tattoos, and he was dressed in loose yellow and red clothes.

He was like no-one I had ever seen before, but my previous apprehension had disappeared. He didn't look intimidating at all now: in fact, he looked kind of sweet. Thick, dark eyelashes, in sharp contrast to the whiteness of the skin they rested on, trembled slightly as he came round. I held my breath, feeling oddly excited as his eyelids fluttered open.

Two large, clear gray eyes were suddenly fixed upon me, and I heard a sharp intake of breath as he focussed on my face. We looked at each other for a split second that actually felt like a long time, then he whispered he wanted to ask me something, and if I could please come closer. When I did, he took me completely by surprise:

'Will you come Penguin sledding with me?'

It was not the only surprise.

A low growl from the crater revealed a huge (really HUGE) furry animal with six legs. The strange boy said it was his Flying bison ( _Flying_?!) and it was very clear that it was his pet too. And that wasn't the only surprise: he was an Airbender. He sneezed himself skywards for at least 20 feet and I realised immediately. Gran Gran had spoken so often about the Air Nomads and their airbending skills, but I thought she had said there weren't any left.

'I'm Aang,' the strange boy said.

I was getting more excited by the minute, but Sokka wasn't. My brother takes his warrior role too seriously. How could he think Aang a Fire Nation spy? Even though we'd just met him, I had a good feeling about the young guy! And besides, he looked as though he could never hurt a fly.

The good feeling lasted, because it was Appa, Aang's bison, who got us out of the there. Sokka took some persuading (he was still very suspicious of Aang), but as I took Aang's hand and was pulled up onto the furry creature, Sokka seemed to think better of being left behind, and got onto the saddle too.

Appa couldn't fly. He swam instead. Aang, who was in front, holding the reins tied to the bisons' horns, said the large creature was too tired. Well, I suppose I can't blame him, after being frozen in ice. Aang seemed quite unaffected by whatever happened to him. He is very light on his feet and seems to dance on air when he airbends himself to a higher position. It's so cool to see the way an Airbender moves! It's very graceful: almost as though gravity didn't quite apply to him as it does to the rest of us.

And it's just great to meet another bender – and a very rare one at that!

During the trip Aang kept looking back and smiling at me in a sort of bemused way. I wonder why? I guess I must appear strange to him. He can't have met anyone from the Southern Water Tribe. There are so few of us left.

Appa is a strong swimmer, still, it took ages to go all the way back to the village, and even the low, watery sun had gone down, leaving just the dim glow on the horizon. We had decided to take a nap, but I couldn't sleep. I was too excited.

An _Airbender_! I still couldn't get my head around it. I had hundreds of questions and I had to resist bombarding Aang with them – he'd been buried in ice, for goodness' sake!

Aang, however, did not appear weak or even sleepy, and there was one question that I just _had_ to ask. The last Avatar had to be born among the Airbenders... I leaned over the saddle and asked Aang if he knew what happened to the Avatar. He gave me an odd look and said he didn't know.

Well, that was a bit disappointing, because I felt almost sure that just as Aang, an Airbender, had mysteriously appeared when everyone thought Airbenders were extinct, I was hoping the Avatar would have survived somewhere, too.

It was long past midnight when we arrived at the village, and all were asleep. Gran Gran had fallen asleep sitting by the fire in her tent. She was probably worried about us, for we should've been back hours ago. I didn't have the heart to wake her up, so I showed Aang to a tent and told him to get some rest.

Gran Gran is going to be so surprised tomorrow! I'm still in a bit of a dither myself. I can't get to sleep, so I'm writing what happened. I thought going fishing with Sokka was a change of scene – I didn't bargain on having something so amazing to write about on my birthday.

Talk about an unusual birthday present!

My eyes keep wondering to Aang's tent even as I'm writing this. A _bender_! Someone who can, perhaps, teach me bending! I just know this boy's something special – I think he may be the key to – well, I don't to _what_, exactly ... but if he can teach me bending, that's something, isn't it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: any recognisable characters and places belong to Mike and Bryan. **

**Writing in Water.**

**The Avatar.**

I woke up bright and early this morning, eager to introduce Aang to the tribe.

He was still asleep, and by the looks of it, having an unpleasant dream. I knelt by his side and woke him up gently.

He had slept without his shirt ( doesn't he feel cold?) and I could see that the strange markings on his head and hands – the blue arrow tattoos - actually went all the way down his back, arms, and even down to his feet. They're not really straight, but twist sinuously from the back of his hands and around his bare arms, following an unusual path. I wonder what they mean. But I guess that would be asking personal questions.

Not that I think Aang would mind.

'I'm a vegetarian,' he said at breakfast when I offered him some fried fish.

'You're a what?' Sokka asked, scowling at him.

My brother was still sore for being made a fool of earlier, when I introduced Aang to the gathered tribe. Aang insisted he could fly, and Sokka didn't believe him. But fly he did: his wooden staff can turn into this neat orange glider and he took off like a bird. (Though he should look where he's going more, because he flew straight into Sokka's watch tower!) It was amazing!

'I don't eat meat,' Aang explained, simply.

'Huh! You wouldn't survive a day here in the South Pole without hunting and fishing!' Sokka replied, dismissively, 'D'you think you can grow apple and mango trees in the snow?'

'Uh... I guess not- '

'Don't listen to him, Aang,' I said, glaring at Sokka, 'How about some Polar Dog milk and seaweed bread?'

'Thanks, Katara.'

I would've liked to ask him the myriad questions buzzing in my mind: how did he end up in that iceberg? Where did he come from? One of the fabled Air Temples, or from an Air Nomad group the Fire Nation must have somehow missed? Probably the latter, for the Air temples must be in ruins. How did the Air nomads live? Where are the rest of the Air bisons? But unfortunately, Gran Gran dragged me off to do chores (I had to make up for staying away all day at sea, yesterday) so it was hours later that I went to look for him.

I found he had sabotaged Sokka's 'soldiers' and the children were having a really great time sliding down Appa's tail. They've really taken a liking to Aang and have been following him around all morning. I myself couldn't stop grinning like an idiot at the children's laughter. Even though it's barely been a few hours since he's been introduced to the tribe, Aang is like a breath of fresh air after all the seriousness and doom and gloom of the past years.

Since Dad and the other men left, it's been very harsh for the tribe: always a constant battle to survive: worrying if the food will be enough to last through the winter, worrying if anyone becomes sick; worrying the Fire Nation ships might come back again ...

Gran Gran says that Sokka and I are getting old before our time: but then there's nobody else our age to compare ourselves to, is there? So I wouldn't really know. We're the only teenagers left here, and anyway, usually there's so much to do, that I don't have much time to think about it. I thought living with a bunch of older women would make me wiser and more responsible, but when I saw what fun Aang and the children were having, I kinda wished I could join in.

Perhaps I will.

I've finished my chores and I think I should go and get to know Aang better. I think by the end of today I'll have loads of interesting things about Air Nomads to write in my scroll.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

The sun is setting now, and I've plenty of things to write about.

Only they're terrible.

Aang and I got into serious trouble and now he's gone. Though it's only been a day, I already miss him. I'm angry, and sad, and ...and... I don't know, but it's like a light has gone from the tribe. The children are quiet and subdued, and the women worried.

It started well enough when I went Penguin-sledding with Aang. He's so much fun - he has this kind of light-hearted, fun way of seeing things, ready to try anything and everything, and he's absolutely _fearless_.

Well, his people are nomads, after all. It must be really great to be an Air Nomad and visit different places. I've heard so many stories about the wonderful ice cities of the Northern Water Tribe, and so many tales about the wonders within the vast Earth Kingdom and the lands and islands up North. Dad, and the other men of my tribe, have visited some of these places on their ships, though it was risky business, with the Fire Navy ships patrolling all along the coast.

Aang must have seen a lot of different places, though he seemed surprised when Sokka mentioned the war. That's when he spotted a Penguin-otter and took off after it, running like the wind – _literally_! I was left staring at a receding flurry of snowflakes as he ran over the snow at an amazing speed, barely leaving footprints behind.

How does he do that?!

I followed him to where I knew the Penguin's breeding grounds where, and found him trying to catch one. I told him I'd teach him how if in return he'd teach me waterbending. But Aang said he's an airbender, and, as such, couldn't teach me. It was a bit disappointing, for I had hoped he would, but then he suggested I find a master to teach me among our sister tribe at the North Pole.

'I can personally fly you to the North Pole,' he said, as though it's just in a day's job for him.

He made it sound so easy, so natural, to just climb on Appa and take off into the sunset. It was exciting and scary at the same time, because I had never left my village.

Suddenly new possibilities seemed to open up and I started getting excited, but I didn't have much time to think about it, for next thing I knew, I was penguin-sledding.

I hadn't done it in _years _and yet, there I was, speeding down ice tunnels screaming with excitement like a little girl! As Aang pointed out, I guess I'm still a kid at heart, which goes to show that Gran Gran's fears that I might become an old fuddy-duddy are unfounded. And I haven't forgotten how to Penguin-sled either – I was beating Aang when he put on a burst of speed and overtook me – I think airbending has something to do with it...

We ended up near the old Fire Nation ship. It was frozen in jagged ice, a black, menacing blot on the white landscape.

That ship's taboo for our tribe. I suppose, being told the sad and horrible stories as children, we grew up with an exaggerated fear of such a place. These things must have sunk into our psyche. But Aang had no such fears.

'If you wanna be a bender, you have to let go of such fears,' he said serenely as he climbed to the ominous, dark hulk.

I convinced myself that my fears were childish, that the ship was nothing but a decades-old heap of rusting metal, and that if Aang, who looked younger than me, could enter so nonchalantly, then so should I. Besides, I wanted to be a bender, didn't I?

It was a mistake.

I should have acted _responsibly _instead, and stopped him from going in. If I had, then none of this would have happened.

Being more familiar with the place, and, moreover, being _older_, I should've realised there'd be some truth to the rumours about this ship. But, as it turned out, although Aang looks younger, or my age at most, he is almost a _century_ older than I am.

Yes, a century!

It dawned on me when we found a room full Fire Nation weapons in the ships' interior. The weapons didn't surprise me at all, but I realised Aang had no idea of the war. He'd been frozen in the iceberg for a 100 years!

He couldn't believe me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more plausible it seemed. He knew nothing about the war, and he was an Airbender: they were supposed to be extinct! There was no other explanation: _Aang was a 112-year-old boy!_

It was then, as realisation hit him, that, for the first time, I saw Aang upset and overwhelmed. With the weapons of war surrounding us in rusty belligerence, old but undeniable proof of past agression, even he couldn't refuse the truth.

He sank to the floor, looking stunned, and my heart went out to him. A century is a long time – was he thinking about his parents? Or all the people he loved and knew? They would most likely be dead, or very, very old now. That is a lot of loved ones wiped out with this single thought.

On the other hand, _he_ has survived the war.

'I did get to meet you,' he said eventually, with a smile, voicing exactly what I had been thinking.

Perhaps he just hadn't fully realised the impact a hundred years can have. Especially 100 years of war. The Air Nomads have been mercilessly attacked by the Fire Nation, even more than our tribe has been. Everyone says that their race has been wiped out, and I dreaded to think of what he'd feel like when he found out, or asked me to tell him the details of what happened. I stared for a second at the brave young face looking up at me, trusting gray eyes fixed onto mine and then and there, I resolved not to tell Aang anything at all. I smiled reassuringly at him and helped him to his feet.

I just wanted to get the heck out of that ship, when something bad happened.

Aang accidently set off a booby-trap in what appeared to be the control room or bridge, and the old ship sprang alive, even after all those years: its metal innards clanging and creaking up a storm. Then suddenly, a flare burst out from the ship, arching across the sky with a screaming whistle as a metal door clanged shut behind us, cutting off our means of escape.

We looked aghast at the blinding white light of the flare from the bridge. Trapped in a Fire Nation ship (though probably the flare would alert Sokka).

Perhaps the trap was set by the original Fire Nation soldiers, or perhaps even by past Water Tribe Warriors to warn the villages if any Fire Nation soldiers returned to the ship. In any case, we were well and truly shut in!

I felt my heart sink, but once again, Aang surprised me.

'Hold on tight!' he said.

Then, he swept me in his arms and jumped straight out of a ragged-edged hole at the top of the bridge, and out onto the snow-covered hulk outside. I yelled in surprise, threw my arms around his neck and clung on tight as we flew upwards and emerged on top of the bridge.

Aang's just a kid, twelve years old in fact, - if you discounted 100 years of suspended animation – yet he carried me in his arms _as though I were a feather_. It felt as though I was lighter than air somehow, even though I could feel his arms around me, supporting me.

Aang was airbending us both out of that creepy ship!

Then we jumped (it was more like a feather-light fall, of sorts) a hundred feet or more down the sides of the fire navy ship. My eyes were wide as saucers and my heart was beating wildly at the free-fall, yet I felt safe with him, and, after the initial shock, it was actually quite exhilarating! As though gravity had no real effect, while I was in his arms. It was a weird, but wonderful, sensation.

The _Airbending _was, I mean.

Though, I gotta say, Aang is surprisingly strong for a boy his age...

'Let's ... let's get back to the village, Aang,' I said, trying to get my breath back, for my heart was still pounding from the amazing experience 'They would've seen the flare.'

It was when we arrived back at the village that things went from bad to worse. The children were happy to see Aang back, but Sokka was not.

My stupid brother thought that Aang was Fire nation spy and that he was signalling the enemy. Gran Gran agreed with him, and insisted that Aang should leave.

How could they be so _unreasonable_? Why didn't they believe me when I said it was an accident? I was so angry that I stormed off, saying I was leaving with Aang to the North Pole. I hadn't thought about it since before we went Penguin-sledding, but suddenly, it seemed the right thing to do. I had done my part for the Southern Water Tribe for years, and now it was time I spread my wings.

It was when Sokka asked if I would choose Aang over my own tribe, that I hesitated.

Perhaps it was the note of shocked disbelief in Sokka's voice that did it, I don't know. I _wanted_ to go. Badly. But everyone expected differently. They expected I act responsible. And I guess taking off with a relative stranger and abandoning my people isn't being responsible. Aang doesn't feel like a stranger to me – well, he _is _strange, but I trust him, whatever Sokka may say.

Only, Aang didn't want to come between me and my family, so I stayed and he left.

Little Anuka was crying as Aang climbed on Appa.

'I'll miss you, too,' he told her, as he turned away with one last glance in my direction.

He didn't need to say anything – I will miss Aang, too. Perhaps more than he thinks. This strange little boy has turned my world upside down in these two days, and I've dared dream dreams that I have never dared to before. He has made me feel _alive. _But now, he is gone forever.

I'm trying not to cry as I write this. I can't understand why I feel this bad – after all, I've only known him for a couple of short days.

I suppose I can still carry on practising my waterbending and then, perhaps, when I'm older, I will find another opportunity to go to the North Pole and find a master to teach me.

Unless the Fire Nation win the war.

Then I doubt if there will be a North Pole to go to. They'll destroy everything there, like they did here. Perhaps this was my last chance to become the water bender I've always dreamed of becoming...

I told Gran Gran that. I feel angry and sad and confused. I don't even feel sorry for snapping at Gran Gran again. I just want to be left _alone_, so I came out here to write and watch the last rays of the sun disappear, like my hopes and dreams, in the distance. I think this scroll will bear witness to the only time I ever came close to becoming something more than what South Water Tribe girl is led to expect.

I'd better stop writing now, because a heavy mist is coming in, and I suppose I should go and apologise to Gran Gran.

There's a heavy mist rolling in, and there's something odd about it...

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

**I'm leaving! I'm leaving the village _NOW_! **

**I knew I should've left before, and now I _know_ I'm right. I've already thrown a few things together and all I have to do is convince Sokka. My brother can't deny it now!**

**Aang has just saved the entire village from a Fire navy ship! **

**And he's the _AVATAR_!**

**I can't believe I didn't realise that before! Aang's an Air bender – the only we know to be alive today and he's been in the iceberg for a 100 years! I _felt _he was special, and age has nothing to do with it – I should've seen this coming! **

**But I didn't. None of us did. **

**None of us knew Aang was the long-lost Avatar.**

**Sokka had been right when he said the flare would attract any patrolling Fire Navy ships to the village. My brother was already in war paint when I went to tell them of the strange shape in the mist I had seen the previous night.**

**And then in the pale dawn, the dark shape of the Fire Navy ship finally materialised silently and menacingly out of the early morning mist.**

**The fire Nation Ship's commander seemed to be no more than a teenager, but a very intimidating one. Head shaven, except for a soldier's top knot, an angry scar covers much of his left face, leaving a tawny-gold eye to glare through narrowed lids. His appearance was scary enough, but his expression was even more so – and that was only what I could see beneath his helmet. **

**He was looking for the Avatar, who, he insisted, should be Gran Gran's age.**

**Sokka attacked him, but was no match for the scarred teenager. Thank goodness Aang appeared when he did, spectacularly sliding in on an Otter-Penguin, because that Firebender had some lethal looking firedaggers in his hands, and he had every intention of using them on Sokka!**

**Only - Aang was a match for him!**

**I had never seen Aang fight before (somehow, I never imagined he , given that he seemed just intent on having fun). But he certainly proved he _could_ fight: he blew the Fire Nation soldiers away with one blast of air enhanced by the staff he carries. It was awesome to watch! **

**But the scarred youth stood his ground.**

'**Looking for me?' Aang said, with a grim smile.****could**

**The teenaged firebender realised what Aang was saying even before we did, I think.**

'**You're the Airbender? You're _the Avatar_?' he asked, disdain and disbelief etched in equal measure on his scarred face.**

**It was then things started getting serious, for the young Commander said he'd been waiting and training all his life for this encounter with the Avatar. That Firebender guy had so much rage in him! His flaring bursts of fire passed safely over Aang's head, for he was agile and quick, and more than a match for whatever the teenager was throwing at him, but the flames exploded over the rest of the women and children in fiery swathes. Most of us remember only too clearly the death and destruction they had caused during the last Fire Nation raid and many of the women and children screamed in terror.**

**So Aang just surrendered.**

**I thought I wasn't hearing well. How _could_ he just surrender!? He's the Avatar! But more important than that: he's my friend! **

**I was devastated as I saw the Fire nation soldiers take him away on board that dark ship. He looked so small compared to those hulking brutes. He had traded his freedom for the safety of our village, even when that self-same village had banished him! It was so noble of him, so selfless ... I was close to tears. I felt needed to do something ... _anything_... before he disappeared inside the ship, but Aang remained calm, and seemed quietly confidant, though his face fell a bit when he saw how upset I was. That was the last I saw of him as the ship's landing ramp was drawn up.**

**So - now I know where my path lies. **

**I was confused and unsure before, but I can see my way clearly now, which is why I am writing this in VERY VISIBLE Cuttlefish ink, because I'm leaving this scroll behind, as an explanation, and, perhaps, an apology, for what I must now do.**

**I am going to go and help the Avatar in any way I can. I will try and persuade Sokka to come, (who, after all, owes his life to Aang), but if he won't come with me, I'll go alone. Aang has taught me a valuable lesson, and the time to suffer in silence has gone!**

**This scroll is for you, Gran Gran, in the hope that you will forgive me and try to understand why I must follow my own way. After all, it was you who told me 'Don't be afraid of choosing your own path.' **

**And I just have.**

**The coming season is the mildest part of the year in the South Pole and we have already managed to stock the store house with enough jerky and dried fish to last you for months. If everyone's careful, the village should be fine until we (if Sokka joins me) return. **

**Take care.**

**Lots of love,**

**Katara.**

_Dear Katara, _

_ I have put this scroll back in your belongings. I want you to take it with you, for it may yet serve its purpose, wherever it is that your destiny takes you. I understand now what you meant when you saw something special in this young boy, and I believe that your destiny lies with that of the Avatar, for it was you who brought him back to us. _

_And with his arrival, the world can hope again._

_Take care of your brother, as I know he will take care of you,_

_Gran Gran_

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I am writing this on a Flying Bison. Yes – _Flying!_ I always knew Appa could do it, and I believe so did Sokka, in spite of his being so rude to Aang about it. Actually, it was my brother who remembered the words Aang used to command Appa to fly.

Sokka hadn't been difficult to persuade after all. In fact, he had already packed a canoe so that we could sneak off and rescue Aang. Though I wish Sokka would stop calling Aang my _boyfriend._ He's always teasing me like that (Or at least, he used to, before all the older teenagers left the tribe)! Now it makes me feel more awkward than it should. Aang's only a kid, right?

Anyway, not only did Sokka surprise me, but so did Gran Gran. She somehow guessed what we were going to do – she is a very wise old woman and was waiting for us with a bag of provisions even as we were trying to sneak away. I felt bad leaving her behind, but at that moment, the one thing one my mind was saving Aang.

Then I remembered Aang had told me to take care of Appa before the Fire Nation soldiers took him away. Appa was the key to rescuing the Avatar! And when my brother finally hit on the two words that got Appa to fly, I knew we were going to make it! Appa gave a big heave, slapped the water with his huge tail, causing a tidal wave that shook the floating ice, and then rose into the air!

It's amazing how smooth the ride is. I expected to be blown off the saddle with the force of the wind sheer, but it's surprisingly comfortable and only slightly breezy in the saddle!

It did not take us that long to spot the Fire Nation ship in the long twilights of the South Pole ( just follow the trail of black, sooty smoke) and it was then that I panicked a bit, because I realised we didn't have a plan.

Only it turned out that Aang had already rescued himself!

He had somehow broken free of the Fire Nation guards and was on deck, fighting off that scarred teenager-commandant, and he was holding out quite strongly until he lost his footing and plunged straight off the deck and into the sea below.

I screamed his name over and over – those waters were freezing - but Aang had another trick up his sleeve, for he rose again out of the sea on a 100–foot column of water, landed on deck and swept the fire nation soldiers off the ship with an amazing waterbending move that even _I_ didn't know existed.

And Aang said he could not bend water! His arrow tattoos and eyes were glowing just as they had done when we found him in the ice berg and there was a grim and fixed expression on his face I found rather unsettling.

And like he had done when he came out of the iceberg, he fainted just as we landed on deck. I ran over and managed to rouse him, but he seemed disoriented, and barely made it to climb on Appa. The fire nation soldiers had regained their feet and Sokka had gone to get Aang's staff:

I was on my own and the soldiers were closing in, but I knew I had to protect Aang and Sokka ,and so I did something I had never done before: _I fought back_! I actually used waterbending to _fight_! It was a waterbending move that I had practised before, but never quite on this scale and with this purpose, but seeing how Aang had beaten all those soldiers had somehow given me the feeling that nothing was impossible, so after only one wrong move, I waterbended the water on deck into a huge wave that I froze around the oncoming soldiers.

We all got on Appa and flew away just as the teenager with the scarred face and an old Firebender started throwing huge fireballs at us. Apart from the ice-statue soldiers, they were the only ones left standing on deck.

And what a huge Fireball that was! I have to say that even when the Fire Nation attacked our village, years ago, I don't remember any Fire Nation soldier capable of that much Fire Power! I thought we were _dead_! But Aang had recovered enough to send a blast of air that deflected the fireball and caused an avalanche of ice and snow to come crashing down on the Fire Navy Ship, stopping them in their tracks.

I could hardly believe we had got away! Aang told us how he escaped from the soldiers when they took him below deck. It was what he had always intended to do, I realised, when he had surrendered earlier. He told us that the young Commander of the FireNation ship was called Zuko.

'The Fire Lords's son!' Sokka exclaimed.

Aang, who knew neither who the current Fire Lord was, nor his son, just shrugged. Sokka explained what little we know about the Fire Nation's Royal Family.

'And from what you say,' he ended, 'that old guy that threw that huge fireball at us as we left, might be General Iroh, Prince Zuko's uncle. We should be able to catch up on more updated news on world affairs when we reach the Earth Kingdom.'

The news that the Fire Lord's son was after the Avatar was not good news, but I was still thrilled: our escape was so _spectacular!_ Aang, however, looked kind of subdued. I asked him why he hadn't told us he was the Avatar.

'Because I never wanted to be,' he replied quietly, and, for the first time since I had met him, he looked sad and downcast.

That shocked me. He was the _Avatar._ How could he not _want _to be? The Avatar was this amazing person who can command all four elements! And bring hope to the world…

I had already realised that there was much more to this young Airbender than meets the eye, but it was at this point that I first realised that there was another side to Aang, apart from the fun-loving, carefree one that I had seen till now.

Perhaps spending so much time with Gran Gran and older women has made me more sensitive to what other people are thinking and feeling, I don't know, but what I _do_ know is that Aang is a far more complicated person than he might appear to be at first sight, and he is strangely reluctant to speak about being the Avatar. I would've thought someone privileged to be the master of all four elements would be kinda proud of it.

And there is also the mystery of those great waterbending moves... Aang said he didn't know what happened, and how he managed to create that column of water without even knowing how to waterbend. He seemed genuinely confused about it, but Sokka and I promised to help and go to the North Pole, where he'll learn water bending with me.

That cheered him up and he was soon telling us about all the places and things we would be doing on the way.

Aang is so knowledgeable about everything (except how to catch Otter-penguins) and well-travelled, he made me and Sokka feel like a couple of ingenuous, peasant, greenhorns. He mentioned animals and places I had never even heard about. He had a map of the world that had survived the 100-year freeze in the iceberg and was pointing out places he'd visited.

'You're lucky to have travelled so far, Aang. It must have been different before the war. I've never even heard about half the stuff you're mentioning, and I've read all the water tribe scrolls.'

'That's because they don't exist,' Sokka said, pugnaciously 'I mean c'mon: Giant _Koi?_!'

Aang nodded eagerly. 'With giant fins!'

'I believe him, Sokka. Besides, I think they're mentioned in the water tribe scrolls. Coloured Carp I think they're called.'

'D'you have a library in the village? I didn't see it,' Aang asked, puzzled.

'We used to,' Sokka answered grimly, 'but it was burnt down in the Fire Nation raid'

'Not all of it, Sokka.'

'Yeah. My sister managed to salvage some stuff. She's crazy over scrolls and books!'

'Since we couldn't go anywhere, it was the only way to learn about life outside our village!' I replied, nettled.

'Well, because of you, Gran Gran insisted I continue with my lessons!'

'That's because your calligraphy looks like it's been written by a drunken Arctic hen!'

'Huh! Warriors don't need pretty handwriting! I'm gonna sleep – the sun's going down and I've been awake since before dawn! You and Aang can talk books if you want to. Air nomads were pretty intellectual, right? '

'Sleep tight, Sokka!' Aang said mildly, 'I don't know about 'intellectual' – all I know is that the monks had a pretty big library… unfortunately it meant lots of homework, too,' he added, ruefully.

'The monks of the Air temples? Is that where you lived?'

'The Southern Air Temple,' he replied nodding eagerly and pointing to a mountainous region on the map, 'In the Patola mountain range – they're not far from here.'

'But it's quite far from where we found you. Were you travelling with your family?'

He remained silent for a while and once again I sensed a reluctance to speak. I got the feeling that whatever happened 100 years ago in the middle of the frozen sea must've been a bad experience.

'My family are the monks,' he said with a slight frown, after a while.

'But what about your par- ?'

'Every six- or seven-year-old kid has to go to one of the Air temples to train and learn the ways of the Air nomads,' he cut across me rather abruptly, 'I was sent to the Temple earlier than that.'

'Why?'

'They discovered I was the Avatar'

'Oh.'

That was so sad. How could they separate a child from its parents at so young an age? I still miss my mother and father so much that it _hurts_ – and I'm _fourteen!_ To do it wilfully to a small child…

But Aang did not seem to be unduly disturbed.

'A child needs its mother,' I said, gently, 'Don't you miss her?'

'I guess I can't miss what I never had.'

'I bet she did you, though.'

Aang looked at me then, and his expression was troubled. Perhaps he couldn't have anything but a vague impression of his mother or father, and I suppose I should consider myself so much luckier than Aang to have known my parents before being separated from them. But then, it also hurts so much more...

A bit later I discovered Gran Gran had re-placed the scroll among the bundle of things she prepared for our journey. Aang had gone down to check Appa's reins, for the bison had veered slightly off course while we were talking ( apparently, we're not going straight to the North Pole) and I had decided to catch a bit of sleep after the excitement of that day. As I removed the sleeping blanket, my mothers' scroll rolled out, together with some bags of Sokka's favourite jerky; seaweed bread for Aang; and other odds and ends. Gran Gran had thought of everyone. It brought a lump in my throat as I read her message.

And she's right. This scroll will serve its purpose and I can see what that is very clearly now.

My mother wanted to document the Southern Water Tribe's traditions and customs, so that they would not be lost. Now her daughter would document something that is, perhaps, even more important: the Avatar's journey!

The idea came to me slowly as I read Gran Gran's note. I felt that my brother and I were starting a journey that will, ultimately, lead to Aang putting a stop to this war. It will be a long journey, I know - Aang's only a kid, and he still has much to learn if the legends about the Avatar are to be believed, but I know that Aang can save the world.

One day it _will_ happen, and I will write down the beginning of the road the Avatar has to take to arrive there, so that this important initial journey is not lost to the world.

I know I will have to be brief and formal: that's how scrolls of famous travellers are written: no emotions (or what Sokka calls 'girly stuff') must be included: that wouldn't be appropriate, but only the important stuff such as dates; names of places, routes; encounters with the enemy; training techniques once we get to the North Pole, and names of people of importance to the Avatar's journey, and so on.

But I have a secret: my Grandmother's spirit ink. I will use it for writing whatever I don't want others to see: what I _really_ think, and my impressions of everything and everyone. In the close confines of Appa's saddle, I can foresee quite a lack of privacy, and I wouldn't like Sokka peeking at everything I've written.

The sun is low in the sky, so I'd better get some sleep.

Aang, who's at Appa's head, said he's fine and not sleepy at all. So I'll put the scroll away and wait to see what another day will bring …..

Travelling in the company of the Avatar is bound to be very exciting, and I'm ready for it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Today, the fourth day of our journey, the Avatar; Sokka, my brother, and I, arrived at the Southern Air Temple in the Patola Mountain Range. The Temple was abandoned, but the Avatar found signs of the Fire Nation attack on his own people, a fact he was not yet fully aware of. **

'Katara, wake up!'

A pair of shining gray eyes and an eager grin hovered over me.

It was barely dawn.

I got up stiffly. Sleeping on the frozen ground with nothing but a sleeping bag takes some getting used to. Not that I mind, but back at the village, the cosy tents lined with pelts and a bamboo-slat flooring, sure make a difference! Aang had curled up to sleep on Appa's forelegs, and only accepted a blanket because I insisted. I guess Appa makes a warm bed, but still, I'm amazed at how little Aang appears to feel the cold.

We had flown for almost twelve hours non-stop the day we left the village, crossing the ocean from the South Pole to the mountainous Islands that were the Air Nomads' legendary territories, and we'd been going from one large island to the next ever since.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and helped Aang gather our stuff. We were going to the Southern Air Temple. He had spoken about nothing else all yesterday evening. I guess being raised by monks, the temple must be the equivalent of his childhood home. He had mentioned going to look for the Airbenders when he was banished from our village. And though he grew more excited as he spoke about it, I felt a sense of foreboding.

The Airbenders were massacred in the Fire Nation's first attack. Although I don't think anyone can confirm this first hand, yet all the rumours, and all the historical scrolls back home that survived Fire Nation censorship, all tell the same tale. In living memory, none of my tribe has ever seen an Airbender.

I glanced over at Aang who was in Appa's saddle, strapping down our stuff.

'What makes you think you will find any Airbenders, Aang?

'They could've gone into hiding,' he replied 'There are four Air Temples, Katara, and they're all pretty inaccessible places! Besides, Air Nomads avoid conflict and war ...'

'Not if conflict and war come looking for _them_,' I replied grimly, as I held up a rolled up bundle.

Aang took it from me, frowning slightly, then held out his hand to help me up. I climbed up and knelt down to tie up the sleeping bag.

'I lost my mother because of this war, Aang,' I said, glancing up at him and not knowing how to even _begin_ to tell him that the Air Temple might not be at all what he remembered.

'I'm ...I'm sorry to hear that, Katara.'

He sobered immediately and came to stand over me. I don't know if he was going to ask what happened or not, but suddenly, I did not want to talk about it. I did not want to recount how my mother was killed by Fire Nation Soldiers. It was bad enough the memory of that day is indelibly horror-branded in my mind.

If Aang had miraculously avoided seeing such sights, perhaps I shouldn't paint any gruesome images for him. Bad enough _we_ had to go through that. But I'll try and speak to him about the Air Temples again later. He's got to admit things must've changed in a hundred years!

'Well, never mind that now,' I said reassuringly, 'Once Sokka's up, we'll be on our way. Then I guess we'll find out something about the Air benders at the Temple. We never saw any Airbenders before we found you, but perhaps we'll meet someone who has.'

Aang gave me a hesitant smile and leapt down lightly to adjust the reins round Appa's horns. He was soon animatedly describing the Air temple, and not really concentrating on the fact that things may have changed for the _worse_ in a 100 years.

I tried to speak to him again later when we were on our way. I slid down Appa's withers and onto the back of his neck, where Aang was sitting, but he remained determinedly optimistic about finding Airbenders at the Temple, even when I told him it was the Fire Nation who killed my Mum. He seemed to think that since Flying Bison are the only way in or out of a temple, those buildings are impregnable to Fire Nation attack.

I know nothing about how the Air Temples are constructed, but I _do_ know about the Fire Nation's ruthlessness, and how they will stop at nothing. Aang seemed oblivious to my worries - or else in denial. I guess he just doesn't want to contemplate the possibility his beloved air temple could've been destroyed.

'And did I tell you about the training platform for our Gliders? It juts out over a 500- foot sheer drop : the winds currents help you glide until you get the hang of airbending, and you'll love the Council Chamber, Katara – it's got fountains and flowers growing through the roof, and there's even a Games Room – '

'_Games_ room?!' Sokka exclaimed sceptically, leaning over the saddle. 'In a _temple_?'

'Sure. Why not?'

'I dunno, Imagined you'd be praying to the spirits all day. Anyway, as long as there are _kitchens _somewhere in the temple_._... ' Sokka scowled. (My brother gets irrational when hungry, and Aang had used all the seal jerky to start the campfire yesterday, not recognising it as food).

'There're those too. But the Games Room is more of a club house for the Air Scouts, really. It's pretty cluttered with bison equipment, but a great place to hang out. We could get up to lots of things there and- '

'Air Scouts?' This Air Temple sounded very complex, both as a building and as organisation. We had nothing like it at the South Pole. More so now that our population has dwindled into a small village.

Aang nodded. 'Air Scouts learn how to herd the Bison down to the fields below the clouds and along the valley. We train the lemurs, too, and lots of other stuff … That's way better than being stuck studying all day in the Library or the music room!'

I was uncomfortably aware that Aang kept using the present tense.

'It sounds great, Aang – and huge, too.'

'Oh, it is. The Air Temple Sanctuary's the biggest room, but only the Monks on the Council can go in there. My bedroom's over the main terrace and I have a good view of it, as well as the Meditation Pavilions and Tattoo Alters'

'The what?'

'Uh... they're like ceremonial raised platforms under an arched canopy. That's where you get tattooed once you earn your arrows.'

'Aren't ya kinda small to get tattooed, arrow-boy?' Sokka asked.

I tried not to stare at the blue tattoos I had seen twisting sinuously down his feet and arms that first day Aang slept in our village. I was curious to know what they meant.

'The youngest,' Aang agreed, 'I only got to the 35th level out of the 36 you need to become an Airbending Master - that's when you earn your tattoos - but I invented the Air Scooter and that gave me a leg up. It was one of the proudest – and most painful - days of my life!'

'Does it hurt that much, then?' Sokka asked, turning a shade paler. (Sokka and needles – even small whalebone ones – don't really go well together).

'I couldn't sit down for hours afterwards,' Aang explained ruefully.

'Hang on,' Sokka said, his eyes widening, 'You mean to say those arrows go all the way down to -?'

Aang flushed slightly and gave an embarrassed laugh. 'Heh, heh – they ...uh ...kinda do...'

'But why arrows?' I asked, coming to his rescue. 'Do they represent the wind or Air or something?'

'Look at Appa, Katara'

'Oh, right,'

The thick brown fur I was sitting on ended in an arrow on Appa's wide forehead. I had noticed it before, but hadn't really made the connection.

'Air nomads learnt airbending from the Sky Bison,' Aang explained.

'So you wanna look like a bison! Big deal,' Sokka said sulkily. 'I wish your tattoos would glow magic and conjure up some food. That'd be more useful now than huge columns of water!'

'Oh, that,' Aang frowned.

'Don't mind my brother, Aang,' I said reassuringly, as Sokka disappeared behind the saddle again, 'That's just his stomach speaking. You did some really amazing things on that Fire Nation ship! Even Sokka was amazed. When your eyes and tattoo glowed … it has something to do with being the Avatar, doesn't it?'

'I guess so,' Aang said, slowly 'I didn't quite feel myself...' he gave a small exasperated shrug. 'I dunno...'

'But you _do_ remember what you did, right?' I asked anxiously. Aang's expression had been rather fixed and unusually grim, then.

'Sure I remember what I did!' Aang retorted, indignantly, 'I just... did not feel myself, that's all.'

I had to be content with that, for, judging by the puzzled frown on the young Avatar's face, I could see that he had more to learn than I had first assumed - and not only about the bending arts. I racked my brains, trying to remember what I had heard and read about the Avatar.

'I think perhaps since you're the Avatar, you can somehow sense the previous Avatars when that happens.' I knew I was groping in the dark, but it seemed like a plausible connection.

'It's not like I can _see_ them or something – if I did, that'd be way more useful right now. But the monks mentioned that the Avatar could somehow connect with his past lives or something - '

'And connect to their powers!' I said understanding suddenly 'Aang, that must be your Avatar spirit coming through! It must've been what kept you alive in that Iceberg for so long!'

'I had kinda figured that out,' Aang said brightening considerably. 'I guess I owe them one then! My previous selves saved me. Weird, huh?'

'Are we anywhere near, yet?' Sokka reappeared over the saddle.

We had been climbing steadily, but a few minutes later his question was answered, for Appa gave a low growl and put on a burst of speed, as though he had recognised the place. Aang steered the Bison steeply upwards, along a sheer mountain side that had appeared out of the misty clouds. Sokka had to cling tightly to the saddle or he would've been blown off by the sheer force of the wind, and I clung desperately to Appa's fur, tears stinging my eyes from the blast of cold air.

When I could open my eyes again I felt my mouth drop in amazement. The Southern Air Temple was beautiful! Like nothing I'd ever seen before! Perched on a high mountain top, tall, bluish-green, spired towers reached for the sky in imitation of the sharp peaks of the surrounding mountains. Snow-covered terraces and graceful bridges; platforms and tiered rooms rose majestically from its base, along a serpentine road and right up to the top, which was crowned by a tall, round, tower.

'We're home, Buddy.' I heard Aang whisper to Appa, a serene smile on his face.

It was so amazing and other-worldly that I almost forgot my own warnings to Aang. This place was so incredibly beautiful, so inaccessible, that it seemed impossible that something like war could mar its serene harmony.

There was a landing platform at the base of the temple and we took the long, winding road up to the main buildings on foot. Aang ran ahead excitedly, pointing out the different buildings. His excitement was infectious, and I was becoming just as eager as he was with every step ( I mean: how many outsiders could possibly have even _seen_ an Air temple?) but we were no more than half way up when Aang noticed something wasn't quite right. The place was deserted and even through the snow, you could see that it was overgrown with weeds and climbers, and it had an uncared-for look.

As he stood at the edge of the path surveying his childhood home, his excited voice trailed into silence. My heart sank. Obviously Aang remembered something quite different: a building this huge should be bustling with people.

But it was not.

Aang looked so small and vulnerable as he surveyed what had once bee his home... Sokka and I exchanged looks. We needed to do something to cheer Aang up.

Thankfully, it wasn't difficult – Aang is easy to please.

A little while later, I discovered exactly how close the war had come to the Air temple. Sokka discovered a Fire Nation helmet in the snow and weeds behind the pitch where he had been playing an airball game with a delighted Aang.

My first instincts were to call the young Avatar over, to prove to him that my warning had been true, but as I glanced over and saw how happy and carefree he looked among the surroundings he was so familiar with, I knew I couldn't do it.

A flash of memory – of red and black uniforms marching through the snow; screaming, shouting and black, smoke-filled skies - crossed my mind: no, Aang had never known anything like that, and I would make sure, for as long as possible, that he never would. Sokka didn't agree, but I was determined. If I could avoid Aang ever having to suffer like my brother and I had, then I would try.

We explored the upper parts of the temple, where Aang introduced us to a statue of someone who was clearly very important to him: a monk called Gyatso. Aang looked sad, knowing that he would never meet him again. From Aang's point of view, he could have been talking to this monk just a few days or weeks before, given that the hundred years must have passed like a dream to him.

It was then that Aang said he wanted to meet someone and proceeded to open the Temple Sanctuary, where he said he'd never been allowed in. It was all rather mysterious, but Sokka and I just followed the young Avatar, who appeared to think there might be someone inside the Sanctuary who could explain all about being an Avatar to him.

We gasped as our eyes adjusted to the dim light inside the tower: it was full of statues – hundreds of them! Spiralling upwards along the tower walls, as far as the eye could see, past avatars were lined up in the Avatar cycle of air, water, earth and fire! Aang seemed entranced by one particular statue of a Fire Nation avatar – I had to literally shake him by the shoulders to get him to snap out of it. He said it was the statue of the previous Avatar, Roku, but could not explain how he knew that.

Then a strange animal appeared in the door: a Lemur. Huge ears twitching nervously, eyes as big as soup plates, it crouched in the door casting an elongated shadow across the ancient floor. Sokka and Aang both lunged after it, with very different intentions, and the lemur took off, chittering in fear.

I left them to it – I was too fascinated by the Avatars. I had read so many stories, so many legends about them, but this was the first time I ever saw tangible proof of their worldwide presence. This was not some barely discernible image in a tattered old scroll- these were life-size statues and they looked so _real._ I wandered from one statue to the other, recognising some about whom I had heard legends, or read about in the history scrolls, and wondering about the life and feats of the hundreds of nameless others. I had never come so close to a real Avatar (well, except for Aang – and Aang looks so young, compared to the dignified men and women depicted by the statues!)

It was when I had arrived to the statue of Avatar Roku, that things became even stranger: for a moment, I thought the statue had come to life, for its' eyes started to glow, like Aang's had done. I almost had a heart attack! Then all the statues started likewise, to glow in sequence, a spiralling pattern of eerie eyes glaring down at me from all sides. I knew something was wrong! Something had happened to Aang!

I tore out of the sanctuary and heard Sokka's voice coming from a broken room down below. He was calling Aang, but I couldn't make out what he was saying for there was a strange roaring sound like when wind is picking up speed. My heart in my mouth, I followed the sound of Sokka's voice, even as I was almost blown off my feet by a sudden strong wind.

The note of distress in my brother's voice made me break into a frenzied run. I could see a large incandescent white light through the tattered drapery that covered the ceiling of the broken room, but just as I went down the last flight of steps, there was a tremendous explosion of noise and the room burst apart scattering debris everywhere. I screamed as I realised that some of the debris were _human bones_! Sokka had been blown out of the building and I made my way up to him, shielding my face from the flying debris. Helmets, breastplates and rusted armour littered the place – Fire Nation armour!

We struggled to what was left of one wall of the old building and I choked back a shocked cry. Aang was at the end of the broken building, a whirling maelstrom of glowing air surrounding him.

'He found out the Fire benders killed Gyatso!' Sokka explained, shouting over the noise of the screaming winds.

Aang's eyes and tattoos were glowing, and I knew this was the Avatar's powerful spirits that had somehow been triggered. Perhaps a strong emotion, as well as imminent danger. could trigger that state. Finding out his people had been murdered certainly qualified as a strong emotion.

I should know.

I made my way into the broken building, bent double against the force of the wind. I had to reach out to Aang somehow – I just couldn't let him go through all that alone.

He was suspended eerily in a glowing sphere of whirling light. It was scary. It was scary not because of the sheer force of the hurricane he had unleashed – a raging wind that screamed louder and louder as though there was no end to the force it could, and would, use to batter everything and everyone in its path – no, it was scary because of the _look_ on Aang's face.

Even through the unearthly glow of his eyes and tattoos, I could see the pain.

That same pain and anger always looked back at me from my own reflection in water, years after my Mum was killed.

And Aang had had no mother to remember. All he had, all he could remember, lay in ruins about us, and he thought he was alone in his grief.

I offered him the only thing I could.

A family.

It was as a family that we pulled through our loss eventually, and we would be there for Aang too, for he had less than none of his own now.

'Sokka and I, we're your family now.' I shouted over the fury of the tornado, and something seemed to have gotten through to him, for the wind died down and Aang's feet slowly touched the ground again, as though willing to listen, at least.

I don't know where he is, or what he feels when in touch with the Avatar Spirits – but at that moment, he was just a young boy in deep distress. I reached out to hold his still-glowing hand and held him tight as he fell to his knees and slumped against me, almost in a faint.

'I really _am_ the last Airbender,' he murmured, and the sadness in his voice broke my heart.

I hugged him tighter as he closed his tear-stained eyes wearily, for being in this Avatar state seems to drain him every time.

It was so, so, _SO_ unfair! At least when Mom died, there was still Dad, and Sokka and the whole tribe to stand by us as we struggled to cope.

Aang had nobody. Nobody but us.

He had infected me with his optimism today, and I had kind of hoped that perhaps he was right, perhaps some Airbenders _had_ survived in this inaccessible place. Airbenders who could understand his past, his culture, his needs… perhaps understand him better than we could, and therefore be in a better position to help him. But the stories about the Fire Nations' genocide had been true. They wiped out Aang's whole race! This was far worse than the ravages a hundred-year gap could ever have wrought on the people he loved.

I felt a lump in my throat and screwed my eyes shut. This was not the time to show weakness, with the ragged, decaying evidence of the massacre still around us. Sokka must have been thinking along those lines, for I felt his hand on Aang's shoulder, shaking him gently.

'It's time to get out of here,' he said, with a quick glance in my direction.

I nodded, and let Sokka pull Aang to his feet.

Nobody spoke as we returned to the Temple Sanctuary, and there was no talk of any further exploration of the Air Temple. We knew what we would find.

Sokka and I went down to get Appa and our stuff, but Aang wanted to have a last look at the Avatars. The sombre mood lasted until we were packed and ready to go when finally the lemur returned with a peace offering of fruit for Sokka. Aang cheered up a bit at the sight of the little creature. Apparently they were common as pets among the nomads, and one shred of familiarity he could cling to. Very soon we had an addition to our little family: Momo.

Night was falling when we finally climbed on Appa. Sokka silently took the reins and yipped Appa into flight. Aang sat down at the back of the saddle looking wistfully at the tall green spires of his childhood home as it faded into the twilight, Momo at his side.

It was one of those times when I knew there were no words of comfort.

Aang kept his eyes on the temple until it was swallowed up by the darkening clouds, then it was no more.

I looked at Aang's back as he hunched over the saddle, resting his chin on his arms, wondering what he was thinking. He was certainly a very different boy from what he had been this morning. The light-heartedness, the excitement and irrepressible optimism had gone. I hoped it was not for good.

Being an Air Nomad he must have travelled a lot and I had the impression that Air Nomads would not be so tied to any particular place, but after having seen the faded beauty of the Air Temple, I could understand why he felt the loss of the temple, as well as what it represented, so keenly. Though we have nothing so grand back at the South Pole (being made of ice, nothing much is physically permanent) yet I myself sorely miss the familiarity of our pelt-lined tents and the simple warmth of the fire pit.

He must have felt my eyes on me, for after a while:

'I wish I'd paid more attention to the monks,' he muttered thickly, 'I fell asleep sometimes during history lessons...'

'What ...what does that have to do with anything, Aang?' I asked puzzled.

He turned round to look at me, a frustrated look on his face. 'I should've been more careful and learnt more about my people. Now I'm the only Airbender left, and I don't even know the date when the temple was built, or who invented the first glider, or where the Pai Sho table in the Western Air temple came from. No one will _ever _know now.'

'Aang, you've _lived_ as an Air Nomad. That's more important than a bunch of dates. You _know_ the Airbenders ways.'

'I ...guess,' he said uncertainly.

'Besides, there many Libraries in the world, I'm sure there are plenty of books and scrolls still around that the Fire Nation hasn't destroyed or censored. You'll find facts and figures, if that's what you want.'

'I don't know what I want,' he mumbled, 'nothing can be _enough_'

He turned round and sat hugging his knees, looking blank-eyed at the jagged edges of the distant Patola Mountains.

I didn't say anything for a minute. What could I say? Genocide is a big word. And though we sorta knew about it, it had happened so long ago that it was like a history lesson: something you read about, but know you will never see… Today, however, that history lesson came to life. Knowing how beautiful and peaceful the Air Temple must've been makes the Fire Nation attack all the more cruel.

After a while I got an idea. I fetched my mother's scroll and showed it to Aang.

'This scroll belonged to my mother. When she was young, the Fire Nation raids had reduced the South Pole to just a few scattered villages, and there were no more Waterbenders, so a lot of our culture's gone forever. My mother had this idea: to write down and preserve what was left from living memory, before it disappeared completely.'

Aang looked at the scroll curiously. 'I saw you writing in it, but I didn't want to ask,' he grinned, 'You whacked Sokka on the head when he did.'

'Sokka thinks it's a diary,' I replied, a little uncomfortably, 'My brother's too nosy!'

'I heard that…' came Sokka's voice from near Appa's head.

I ignored him. 'My mother never got round to doing that, but the scroll has been passed on to me and I've decided what I'm gonna do with it. Aang, I know nothing can bring back the Airbenders, but I think there are ways of keeping their memory alive and honoring the great culture they built.'

'So, is that what you're writing? The Southern Water Tribes' history?'

'Well, no. Something more important, perhaps.'

'What?'

I hesitated. Aang would have to know sooner or later. Besides it looked as though my words had some effect for he was looking at the scroll with interest, as if an idea had just struck him.

'I wanted to talk to you about it, actually, because it's about you, too. I'm writing a journal.'

'A journal?'

'About our journey to the North Pole and there, hopefully, about the waterbending techniques we'll learn from the masters. I guess it will cover the first part of your journey as Avatar.'

'Only the first part?'

'Oh, well –I hadn't thought about what happens after that – it's so far away yet. But Aang, we're with you in this -we meant it when we said you're part of our family now.'

Aang smiled, looking reassured, and I felt relieved he hadn't objected to the idea of the journal.

'Anyway, the journal will just document where we've been, and it will be brief and to the point, like the ship's log of the great watertribe sailors and explorers –'

'How can it be brief and to-the-point if you spent _hours_ scribbling in it?!' Sokka butted in offensively.

I swear, I don't know how my brother just manages to hear that part of the conversation you just would rather he didn't! I felt my face turn bright red and hastily shoved the scroll back into my bag. Perhaps I shouldn't have brought it out.

It was hours later when I dared take it out again. I'm writing this by the light of the moon, so whatever I'm writing is clearly visible, but Aang's up front and has taken Appa's reins, and Sokka is snoring loudly at the other end of the saddle. We've left the Patola Mountains far behind us already, and I don't know where we'll camp tonight so I thought of finishing my journal now, for I'll be too tired later.

I wrote the first part in normal ink for everyone to see how 'brief and to-the-point' it is! As for the rest – the invisible part – well, that will be _my_ secret! I think Aang guessed I write more than just brief notes (how could he not? I was blushing as red as a beetroot, thanks to my brother) and I suppose it's pretty evident anyway, but at least he respected my privacy, and did not persist on asking further questions or try to peek.

I don't think there's anything too incriminating in what I've written, but it's still private: it's got too much of _myself _in it for me to be comfortable showing it to anyone else.

I can see the sea in the distance and we are flying over high hills. I think Aang will be taking Appa down soon.

Tomorrow is another day and I don't know what it will bring, but I hope I will not have to write about anything so beautiful, and yet so marred, as the Southern Air Temple.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All recognisable characters; places and creatures belong to Bryan and Mike.**

**IIIIIIIIIII**

**Eighth day of our Journey. We have been travelling on the Avatar's flying bison amid the mountainous lands and islands of the Air Nomads' southern territories. The high mountains are covered with snow, but in the valleys and along the coast there's signs of grass growing, and even some remnants of the Air Nomads agricultural activities. **

**W**e've been flying above the Air Nomads southern territories for a few days now. We've made a pit stop half-way up the slope of a snow-capped mountain, where Aang said we might find some fruit trees. He took Momo to search for fruit: they're very hard to find, given the season, but Aang said Air nomads had often planted orchards along the better-known routes of their territories, and Momo is good at spotting them, if they still exist. The ground is still covered with snow, but it's not so thick as it is back home and in some valleys, closer to the coast, there are patches of grass and snow crocuses.

Our rations are dwindling fast. Sokka managed to catch some fish yesterday and now he's off hunting pheasant-squirrels . I doubt he'll have any luck. I'm preparing the last of the seaweed bread just in case both of them come back empty-handed. It's stale and unpleasant now (and has been for a while), but it will have to do, I guess.

I'm writing this while waiting for the boys to come back. We've settled into a sort of routine now, and can pitch camp in under 15 minutes. I do the cooking – I always used to at home anyway, and though Aang tried to help a few times, I could see he got put off by the fish eyes staring up at him from the stew, so I shooed him off. He does better at pitching the tents when we use them, though he usually always sleeps on Appa.

Apart from odd moments of silence, Aang seems to have gone back to his usual cheery self. Even over-exuberantly so - perhaps to compensate for the desolate sadness of the Southern Air Temple or just because he's still a kid. Anyhow, he's got this crazy notion of finding these Giant fish called Elephant Koi and that's why we've been drifting aimlessly these past couple of days.

Sokka is getting a bit antsy about this random drifting. I think he's eager to see some action and does not believe the giant fish exists. I don't mind too much: I've never been away from home, so I'm interested in seeing all these wonderful new places. But I agree with Sokka: I think we should start heading north. Just as much as I'd like to see the world, I need to start doing something about learning waterbending.

And I really, REALLY would appreciate finding a village market for fresh supplies and a decent place to have a nice, hot, bath!

Trying to wash in a frozen river or sea cove is unpleasantly cold, not to mention awkward (I'm always afraid Sokka or Aang will accidently come up on me). And a girl needs her time. Gran Gran packed some stuff for me that I hadn't thought about the day I left the village: like my sea weed moisturiser, shampoo and sea sponge. Back at my village, I was surrounded by women, but now I find myself solely in boys' company. It's kinda refreshing ( and challenging!), after spending all my days with women and children, but my brother's grooming habits leave much to be desired: he veers from being obsessed with his looks, to being a complete slob (he doesn't know how to mend or wash his own clothes) As for Aang: his grooming is simple but effective: a quick shave so that the arrow tattoos remain visible, and an airbending blast that clears off any dust or Appa-fur that's stuck to his clothes.

I take my time though - I don't want to forget I'm a girl, even though we're sorta living rough at the moment.

Ah - there's Aang, I can see his orange glider and it looks like there's a basket of fruit dangling from it.

**Ninth day of our journey. Today we arrived at Kyoshi Island, where the great Avatar Kyoshi once lived, hundreds of years ago. Not knowing who we were at first, and thinking us Fire Nation spies, the Kyoshi Warriors took us prisoners, for, as yet, the island has avoided the War, and wanted to retain its neutrality. They released us as soon as they found out who Aang was.**

**Staunch and loyal supporters of the Avatar, the islanders were very happy to welcome an Avatar once more among them, They treated us well and decorated the village in honor of the Avatar . **

It was early afternoon when we arrived on Kyoshi Island: only we didn't know it was called that at first. I had just quarrelled with my brother who had lumped me with his torn pants to sew ( again!) and then insulted me by saying it was girls' work, so I wasn't paying much attention to Aang, but apparently, he recognised the island we were flying over and took us down.

We landed on a crescent-shaped beach that embraced a calm, blue bay and next thing I knew, Aang was stripping and jumping into the freezing water, having spotted something in there. He said something about 'riding it' and next moment, we knew what he meant.

He rose out of the waves holding on to the fin of giant Elephant Koi - he'd been right about the fish after all! A couple of others appeared and Aang and the giant Koi leapt in and out of the water. I had never seen anything like it! It looked really cool.

I got distracted by Appa trying to eat the bedding of one of the mattresses then, but when I heard Sokka shouting, I knew something was wrong. I ran back to the bay and saw a huge shadow in the water. It took a while to convince Aang we weren't waving at his antics, but frantically telling him to GET OUT OF THERE! He was thrown by the Koi and then this enormous fin rose out of the water, looming over Aang like a huge, black, sail.

It was the first time I had seen someone walk on water! Aang ran across the surface like an arrow, aided by airbending and ran straight into Sokka, both skidding right across the snow and into a tree.

Apparently, the Elephant Koi are not the only inhabitants of these cold, blue waters: there was something far more sinister beneath the deceptively calm surface of the bay.

It was then that we were ambushed by the Kyoshi Warriors!

Bound, gagged and blindfolded, we were taken to Kyoshi village and tied to a pole. When our blindfolds were removed I saw we were bound to the pedestal of a statue. And what's more, to my amazement and Sokka's disgust, we found out the Kyoshi Warriors were _girls!_

Everything was sorted out when Aang demonstrated he was the Avatar, and instead of being shown summary justice by being thrown to the Unagi (that monstrous fish that almost got Aang) we were shown to the Ceremonial Hall, offered lodgings and warm food. These guys really have a great respect for Avatars! It bordered on the excessive, for one of them even fainted when Aang did a simple airbending trick with a marble. I mean, _come on!_

Not that I'm complaining. I've just had a long, hot soak in perfumed water in a wooden tub and FINALLY I get to take off my thick, furlined parka and wear something lighter. It is strange living in a house, and not a tent or igloo, but though there are no animal skins anywhere, this place is quite warm. I think I could get used to it.

Aang is happily splashing about in the bathroom now, and the only one who isn't happy is Sokka. He's been glowering at the Kyoshi Warriors all the way here, because he's too proud to admit being beaten by, as he called them, 'a bunch of girls'.

As for me, I can't stop gloating! The Kyoshi Warriors really bruised his ego. My brother's so sexist: either because, for a long time, he's been the oldest guy in the village back home, or else because I've been doing his cooking and cleaning for him for so long, he thinks that's all girls are good for! I should take a few pointers from the Warriors too: even back home, I always knew there was more to life for a girl, other than housework, and these Kyoshi girls prove it!

**Tenth day of our journey. We are using our stay in Kyoshi Island in order to stock up on much-needed supplies for our journey north. I think this could be accomplished in a day, but both my brother and the Avatar are reluctant to leave the island just now.**

I quarrelled with Aang today. It's our first quarrel, and I feel really bad about it. Though I bicker every day with Sokka, this is different. It upset me more than fighting with my brother ever does, and I don't know why.

The day started well enough, I suppose. Breakfast was a huge meal with more different types of food than I had ever seen at one sitting. We (or, rather, Aang) are being treated like royalty. The taste of their food is something I'm still getting used to, however. We never had anything like this at the South Pole, even back in the days when Dad and the other men used sail to far away places and trade foodstuffs.

'Katara, you've got to try these' Aang said, taking a bite out of a pink-covered cake and offering it to me to taste.

I took it and I must say I liked it, once I overcame the general sweetness. _Everything_ put before us tasted sweet: and sweet stuff is not something the Southern Water Tribe is used to, or has had much of, in recent years.

After that, things went downhill rather rapidly. Sokka left the house still sulking about the Kyoshi Warriors, but Aang was ecstatic at how everyone was treating him like royalty, and brushed off my anxiety about staying in one place for too long. I thought all the attention would go to his head.

'Come on, you know me better than that,' he said, with a sincere, wide-eyed look, 'I'm just a simple monk.'

The next instant, however, as he looked out of the window he was greeted by cheers and shouts from below. Looking over his shoulder I could see a crowd of girls - not children, but just _girls_ -had gathered under the window and were screaming for Aang.

Giving me a sheepish grin, seconds later he made a beeline for the door.

I looked down at the girls below in annoyance. They're too young for such nonsense, aren't they? The eldest couldn't have been more than 10: how could they be so _forward_? Girls don't behave that way at the South Pole. (Or I think they don't anyway: I was the only teenage girl there). Now I guess I sound like one of the more prudish women in our tribe, Pakak: she never used to stop telling me stories of her virtuous, exemplary youth.

Perhaps in this village, knowing they are to become Kyoshi Warriors, girls are kinda bolder that way, I don't know.

Aang certainly doesn't seem to mind.

I found myself scowling out of the window in disgust as I saw Aang being literally _chased_ by the girls across the village. He looked overwhelmed, but I don't care. He asked for it, didn't he?! I left them to their antics. I had more serious things to do like getting supplies for our journey.

It took me several trips to get all the supplies from the market by myself. Sokka was nowhere to be seen (and I'd doubt if he'd have helped me anyway, since shopping for food is 'women's work') but Aang usually would've helped. Only now, every time I caught sight of him, he was surrounded by those silly little girls, led by the most forward of them all: a little thing called Koko.

What's worse, he was showing off. Literally _showing off _to those girls! 'A simple monk' he said… huh…. I'm no expert on the extinct Air Bender culture, but aren't the monks supposed to be all spiritual and stuff, and not interested in girls?

Well, Aang certainly seemed to know how to keep them entertained! The girls having calmed down a bit, he seemed very much at ease in the presence of his adoring fans. It made me wonder whether it had been like this in every town or village he stopped at, during his many travels.

I hadn't thought so yesterday, for he seemed genuinely impressed with all the attention, but now I'm starting to wonder. Even for such a young age, Aang has travelled the world and met loads of different people: he's certainly more worldly than I am: a water tribe girl who'd never been beyond the South Pole and lived, for the past years, surrounded by women and children.

Somehow, that thought made me feel more annoyed at Aang, but even at myself for _feeling_ annoyed! What's it to me if Aang's hero-worshipped by a bunch of girls?! At the worst, he'll become big-headed – and I've lived with my brother's superiority complex for so many years now, I should be able to handle that!

So when Aang tapped me on the shoulder as I was getting the last of our provisions, I thought he'd help me, but instead, he refused, saying he had promised the girls a ride on Appa. And he actually asked me to join his group of giggling girls! As if I'd do anything of the sort! I mean - _come on_: they even have a stupid pet name for him!

Well, I gave 'Aangy' a piece of my mind! I was irritated and annoyed, but when Aang smirked and accused me of being jealous of his bunch of little girls, and that he 'understood' why I got really angry, I stormed off.

I really don't know why this is getting under my skin so much!

I marched back to our room and started packing our things. The sooner we leave this place the better. The way these people worship the Avatar will only ensure that the news of our stay here gets spread far and wide. Oyagi, the village elder, doesn't think it'll happen too quickly because Kyoshi Island is very isolated, but I'm worried that he's wrong.

Sokka popped in around midday looking red-faced and subdued. I thought it would be easy to persuade him we should leave right away, but he thought otherwise.

'I gotta see the Kyoshi Warriors again,' he mumbled.

'Why? You can't stand them!' I protested bitterly. 'They're _girls_!'

'Perhaps I was kinda harsh on them,' he said, grabbing some of the sweet cakes left over from breakfast.

'What?!'

'I might've I misjudged them, ok?' he explained, ignoring my flabbergasted face.

A distant sound of girls, screaming excitedly, came from somewhere above the house.

'Anyway, Aang's got Appa now, so we can't leave just yet,' my brother continued, pointing through the window at Appa's shadow zooming across the snow-covered main street of the village.

'Gotta go now' and Sokka disappeared hurriedly through the door before I could ask him any questions, as he knew I would.

The sound of girls' screaming laughter and Appa's rumbling roar faded into the distance. I watched Sokka for a minute through the window as he meandered down the streets in the general direction of the Kyoshi Warriors' dojo.

I didn't know what was eating him, but at that moment I felt too irritated – no, not irritated - downright _furiou_s - to even want to think about it. I didn't even continue packing. Why bother? Both boys don't want to leave, and would rather stay chasing girls here on Kyoshi Island (or, in Aang's case, enjoy letting girls chase _him)_.

I sat down to practise waterbending with a bowl of water since it didn't seem as though we'd be leaving for the North Pole any time soon. The smooth, fluid movements of water in these simple water bending exercises calm me down, and help me focus my thoughts, just as much as writing down my thoughts in the scroll.

Not that I was having too much success. The thoughts I was focussing on in my head, were none too pleasant. Aang had managed to surprise and amaze me many times since we first met, but this was the first aspect of his character that, well... not _shocked_ me, but still, after our stop at the Southern Air Temple, I had got a different idea as to how a 'simple monk' should behave. Especially with girls. Either monks were not so 'simple', or Aang has his own interpretation of it.

That's when Aang popped in to tell me he was going to ride the Unagi.

Of all the hare-brained, attention-seeking antics I had seen since we first landed in this island, that was one of the _craziest!_ He seemed to think I would want to stop him. But if so, then why did he come and _tell_ me?! Just to annoy me? He would go anyway: just to impress a bunch of little girls. I was really mad at him, but I certainly wasn't going to stop him.

'Have fun,' I said, trailing a slender column of water up from the bowl, and keeping my eyes firmly fixed on it.

'I will,' he said tartly, crossing his arms.

'Great'

'I know it's great'

'I'm glad you know,' I retorted tersely, feeling my control slipping.

'I'm glad you're glad,' Aang's voice was rising angrily too.

'Good!' I shouted.

'Fine!' Aang shouted, even louder than I did.

The water I had bended fell sloppily back into the bowl as his shout echoed around the room, but I did not look up. I heard him turn round, pause at the door, and then continue down the corridor.

I sat in that position long after his footsteps faded away.

I was trembling with anger, with apprehension, and above all, with shock at our quarrel.

That's why I'm writing this down _now_. Perhaps putting pen to paper will help me figure out what to do, and put things in focus. I guess it was silly of me to be so touchy about Aang and those girls. He's just a kid after all, and boys tend to behave like idiots for a longer time than of the older girls during adolescence – this particular pearl of wisdom comes from old Pakak, the overly-prude woman back in our village, but I think she must be right. Look at Sokka – he's 15 and yet he still behaves like a jerk sometimes. As for Aang, I guess all that public adulation must have been hard for anyone to resist.

I wish he would see that though: this quarrel had way too much attention-seeking behaviour at the base of it. I guess that's why he came to tell me about the Unagi. Perhaps I've ignored Aang recently: he's always trying to show me stuff, but sometimes I'm too busy to pay attention. I suppose he turns to me because he knows it is useless trying to impress Sokka with any bending (though I must say, either because he's outnumbered, or because of what he's seen what Aang is capable of, even my brother has stopped referring to bending as 'playing with magic'.)

However, even if I've ignored him a couple of times, that's no excuse for behaving like a child!

But then again, Aang's just a kid, isn't he? And I over-reacted.

I shouldn't have. I should've behaved more responsibly too, and persuaded him not to do something so crazy. Aang does have a habit of trying to do crazy and dangerous things just for fun, but this time, he's doing it for the wrong reasons! Whether to impress those girls; to annoy me, or both, I don't care: I'm going after him, even if I have to swallow my pride. This Unagi is one fish no-one should ever try to ride, and Aang is the only person I know who would actually dare to. It's already late afternoon, and they've probably already arrived at the beach.

I promised Aang I would look after him, that he's part of my family now, and I'm not going back on my words.

**Tenth Day of our journey, late evening. Kyoshi village was attacked by the same young Fire Nation commander, Prince Zuko, who had attacked us at the South Pole. He and his soldiers must have tracked us down. They arrived late in the afternoon, riding War Rhinos and spreading a fiery destruction throughout the village in their attempt to seize the Avatar. The Avatar and the Kyoshi Warriors fought bravely to defend the village, but in the end, we decided it would be better to leave and lure the attacking soldiers away from the village before they burnt it to the ground. **

**Prince Zuko's ship managed to follow us for some time, but now that we've put some distance between us and Kyoshi Island, we've shaken them off.**

I was the one who saw the Zuko's ship first. And that Fire Nation ship couldn't have come at a worse time.

I arrived at the beach in time to see Aang's fangirls leaving, grumbling that nothing had happened and it had been 'boring'.

What do they want for entertainment: to see Aang devoured by a monstrous fish?!

But they're only kids, I suppose...

Aang was in the water, and his face lighted up when he saw me.

I knew then that he had been just as upset about our quarrel as I was then. I breathed a mental sigh of relief and told him he had me worried.

'Back there you acted like you didn't care,' he replied.

I felt a twinge of guilt. So that's what he had been thinking! I should've realised I'd hurt Aang acting indifferent...I'll never let it happen again.

'I'm sorry,' I said.

I meant it.

Then Aang said something I didn't expect. He admitted he'd let all the attention go to his head and that he'd been a jerk. Even someone much older would've had a tough time admitting to something like that. But at that moment I was just so relieved to have made it up with Aang, that I had a big grin on my face and I called him to come out of the water.

That's when everything went wrong!

The Unagi surfaced suddenly out of the water and Aang found himself on its back, dwarfed by the monstrous fin. Somehow he clung on, even when it directed a powerful jet of water from its mouth to try and dislodge him. I watched in horror as, seconds later, Aang managed to grab on to one of the giant eel's long barbells as it snapped at him. The monster fish reared up a hundred feet into the air, swung him back and forth, gnashing its jaw. Finally, either Aang let go, or the sheer force flung him off.

He fell more than a hundred feet and hit the water really hard. Even from the shore I could see that he was unconscious, but my heart almost stopped when I saw the Unagi's vicious green eyes focus on Aang's floating body. It was going after him!

That galvanised me into action and I waded into the water towards Aang, screaming his name. I was hampered by my thick, water-logged clothes, but managed to reach Aang just as the Unagi disappeared beneath the surface, its long, sinuous body swimming powerfully towards us. I took Aang's limp body in my arms, just as the Unagi resurfaced, only feet away. As it raised its evil head high above us, there was no mistaking its intentions: it was moving in for the kill!

I didn't even stop and think. I waterbended instinctively, putting all my force (and my desperation) into the action. I pushed a powerful jet of water propelled both me and Aang out of the Unagi's way and across the sea. The giant Eel missed us but its attack formed a huge tidal wave that washed us up between some rocks, quite far inshore.

Thankfully, we were flung behind those rocks. As I peeked over to see if the Unagi had stopped blasting everything with water-jets, I saw Zuko's ship!

_Zuko!_

That shocked me as much as the Unagi! War Rhinos were coming down the ramp and I recognised the unmistakeable figure of Zuko in the lead.

My heart in my mouth, I turned to Aang. He was still unconscious; his skin even paler than usual and very, very, cold. He wasn't breathing, but I couldn't do anything, for the War Rhinos were almost upon us. I huddled over Aang's lifeless body as the Fire Nation soldiers rode right by our rocks. I didn't dare move – if they discovered us here with Aang so helpless, it would be the end! At the same time, a voice was screaming, panic-stricken, in my head, that if I didn't do something soon, Aang would very likely die anyway.

My hand slipped gently down onto his chest even as the heavy plodding of the Rhinos passing close to us shook the ground I knelt on. I could feel his heart fluttering beneath my fingers, but his chest was still. He must have swallowed water when he was knocked unconscious!

As soon as I dared, I shifted him a bit into a better position, supported his head with one hand and moved the other over his chest and upwards, willing the water to move and clear his lungs. I had done this only once before back home, when Sialuk's little girl had accidentally fallen in the sea. The sea had been colder at the South Pole, but Aang had been in the water longer: Hypothermia was a killer just as much as drowning. I tried to stop myself thinking about how cold his skin felt, and how blue his lips were. If he'd been without oxygen for too long...

But a cough and a splutter later, Aang was drawing air into his lungs.

I almost cried with relief!

I cradled his head as he coughed up the last of the water, and gray eyes fluttered open to focus on me.

'Katara...' he said weakly, 'Don't ride the Unagi. Not fun.'

I would've laughed, or scolded him, or both, if there hadn't been more pressing matters.

'Aang, can you get up?' I said urgently, 'I've seen Zuko's ship! We need to get out of here!'

'What?!'

His head snapped up and he tried to sit up, but closed his eyes as the sudden movement made him dizzy.

'Take it easy. You almost drowned out there,' I remonstrated, frowning worriedly as small shivers started shaking his frame.

'It's ok, Katara,' he mumbled, keeping his eyes closed for a few seconds and taking some very deep breaths.

The shivering disappeared almost immediately, and his skin took on a healthier tone, but before I could ask him what he was doing he was getting to his feet and peering over the rocks at Zuko's ship in the distance. The heavy Rhino tracks in the snowy path told him the rest of the story.

'They're heading for the village' I said anxiously, 'We've got to warn them! Sokka and the Kyoshi warriors!'

'I'll get my staff. It's on the beach with my clothes. You go ahead, Katara, I'll catch up with you!' and he vaulted over the rocks nimble, jetting across the beach on top of an airball he created.

There was nothing to show that minutes earlier he had almost drowned. But I couldn't stop and wonder at that now: I took off down the path that led to the village, waterbending as much water as I could out of my waterlogged clothes so I could run faster.

Minutes later, a shadow raced across the path before me. I looked up and saw Aang on his glider above, heading towards the village with a determined look on his face.

I saw the smoke before I arrived. Some of the houses were on fire, and a battle raged along the main street of the village between the fire nation soldiers and the Kyoshi Warriors, but Aang alone was facing Zuko. I ran up the main street just as Aang, who had somehow gotten hold of some Kyoshi warrior fans, blasted Zuko right off his feet and into one of the houses with a really cool airbending move.

It was then I noticed Koko and some of the other girls standing without cover at the far end of the street and watching the fight. This wasn't some spectator sports! If they stood there any longer, they'd be hit by one of the fireballs! I ran to them and ushered them inside the nearest building, wondering, at the same time, whether it would protect them or make their situation worse: these houses were made of wood, and many of them were already on fire. There were shouts and screams and the crackling of burning wood as black smoke bellowed and curled over the steep-roofed village houses. Even the statue of Avatar Kyoshi was on fire.

A second later, Aang landed near me.

'Look what I brought to this place,' he said sadly, not even wanting to meet my eyes.

He looked so sad and remorseful, so different from the fun-seeking boy of the past two days, that I tried to soften the blow, telling him it wasn't his fault…. but he wouldn't listen. The determined look of earlier had changed into one of confused remorse. I could see that he'd only feel worse if we stayed, so I suggested that we lure Zuko and his men away from the village: that scarred teenager was only interested in capturing the Avatar: he would follow us!

'I'll get Appa,' Aang agreed, dejectedly.

I raced inside the house we were lodging in, mentally breathing a sigh of relief that I had most of our stuff already packed, and in a few minutes, we were ready. The Kyoshi Warriors were holding off the Fire Nation soldiers, but one of them raced towards us and climbed up Appa's tail and right into the saddle. It took me a minute to realise that that was my brother, dressed like a Kyoshi Warrior!

Aang took Appa up and we saw the burning village recede in the distance. I felt so bad leaving them like that, for they had been very kind us. Many other villages would not have fought so bravely to protect us. They would have put their own safety first. My mind wandered back unpleasantly to how Aang had been banished from my own tribe.

However, as we suspected, Zuko and the rhino-riders had regrouped and prepared to leave the village, for Aang was keeping Appa low enough for them to see clearly.

Sokka was wiping paint off his face.

'Don't ask,' he muttered when he saw me looking.

I glanced over at Aang. If I was feeling bad, what was _he_ feeling? Judging by his hunched shoulders, he was probably thinking about the times I suggested we shouldn't linger in Kyoshi, or we'd be tracked down.

I tried to comfort him saying he'd done the right thing and that they'd be alright, but I don't think he believed me for I saw him sit up straighter, as though he'd come to a decision, and then, next instant, he'd leapt off Appa and straight into the bay below. Sokka and I leaned over the saddle, horrified.

Wasn't one near-drowning experience enough for one day?! I held my breath until finally Aang resurfaced: _holding on to the Unagi's barbells!_ I gasped in fear as the giant eel reared up against the red sky of sunset, and Aang was flung back over its head. Having both of those whiskers in his hands steadied him, and he seemed to know what he was doing, this time. Holding the barbells much like he did Appa's reins, he directed the angry creatures' retaliatory jets of water towards the small village, extinguishing the flames.

My heart was in my throat at the risk that he was taking, but at the same time, a kind of warm feeling , mixed with admiration ( I mean _: look at the way he was riding that thing!_) crept through me as I realised what his intention was. Aang was, truly, the Avatar and more besides: he _cared_ about those people, and risked his life for them as much as they had done for him!

The next instant, the Unagi had flung him off, but Appa had been keeping his eye on his master and flew close enough for Aang to grab hold.

I think he expected me to tell him off for what he did, but I just flung my arms around him and hugged him tight. That surprised him, for I heard a soft intake of breath, and Sokka was looking wide-eyed at us. But I didn't care: I wasn't going to scold Aang: I didn't want to quarrel with him again. EVER.

I think he understood that, for with a small sigh of content I felt him hug me back. There was no need for words: we both knew that we had made peace with each other, and, I think, we're both determined we should never quarrel again.


	5. Chapter 5

**11 th Day of our journey. We left Kyoshi Island at sunset and travelled over water almost till the early hours of the morning. Before dawn we reached land and settled for a rest on a flat piece of grassy land. The Avatar said he recognises the place and knows exactly where we're going. We have set foot on the great territory of the Earth Kingdom mainland.**

My brother's been at it again.

'Quit looking over my shoulder!' I snapped.

'It _really _looks like a journal,' he retorted, sounding disappointed as he flopped down by the fire. 'Boooriiing!'

'Glad you think so!'

'So why'd you get so jumpy when I look at it?' Sokka retorted, with a smirk.

'I don't. I just –' I made a noise of exasperation to cover my confusion, 'Look, why don't YOU want to tell us why you were dressed up as a Kyoshi girl yesterday?'

Aang looked up from where he was placing sticks on the fire, a small smile playing about his lips. Whether at Sokka's discomfort or mine, I couldn't tell. But I wanted to avoid the conversation going back to the scroll. I think they had both realised I was writing much more than what actually showed on the paper.

'Not _girl'_, Sokka mumbled, in a voice so low I could hardly hear him, '_Warrior_!'

'You certainly changed your mind fast about those 'bunch of girls'' I teased, running my fingers through the pale green blades of grass pushing their way through the patchy snow. Growing vegetation and trees still fascinated me. Nothing much but lichen, algae and mosses grow at the South Pole.

Sokka shrugged uncomfortably and resorted to eating a peach to avoid answering.

'Girls make great warriors,' Aang said, out of the blue.

'Are you talking about the Kyoshi Warriors?' Sokka asked.

I raised my eyebrow quizzically, but he avoided my look.

'Those too, but I've met others. Even at the Western Air temple, the Nuns there -'

'_Nuns_?! I thought you said monks!' Sokka said, uncomprehending.

'Nuns teach girls at the Eastern and Western Air temples. Monks teach boys at the Northern and Southern Air temples,' Aang explained.

Well, even I knew that. But Sokka was never one for history lessons.

'They keep you _segregated ?!'_

'Only until you've really mastered the art of meditation. The monks said you can't have ... uh...any distractions till you get used to that.'

'Meditation, huh?' Sokka was unimpressed. 'What good's that?'

'It helps focus your energy. I'm still working on it, though. Come to think of it, I haven't done it in ... in a hundred years!' Aang said with a wry smile, scratching his head.

'So what happens after you master meditation?' I asked, intensely curious to know about the extinct Airbender culture.

'Well, being nomads, travelling is always part your training: I was only six when I went to the Eastern Air temple. 'Aang explained 'Appa was born there, but after you get your meditation studies nailed – and most of my friends did at around 8 or nine -the travelling's stepped up a notch.'

'Did you go to the other Air Temples then?'

'Of course. Several times. I played Sky Bison Polo at the Northern Air Temple, and Pai Sho at the western Temple. This girl, Dechen, beat me every time, though. She was their champion player.'

'_Pai Sho_?!' Sokka interrupted, 'I thought you said the Nuns were _fighters...'_

'No, I didn't. Airbenders aren't really warriors, but they can defend themselves when they need to. That was part of the 36 levels of training taught at all four of the temples '

'See, Sokka?' I pointed out triumphantly, 'Girls get to train, too. Back home, there's no _physical_ segregation, but ever since the water benders disappeared, there's _work_ segregation: women do the housework and boys get to be the warriors.'

I don't know why I was pushing my brother so much. I guess I secretly hoped being exposed to so many different people and cultures, he'd loosen up on his sexist views.

'Hey, I'm not like that!' he jumped up immediately, acting offended. But one look at our faces and he sat back down again, his face falling comically.

'Well, I'm not like that _anymore,_' he elaborated, 'I mean – without the Kyoshi Warriors we might not have got away yesterday! Those girls are great!'

Was this my brother speaking? I was so surprised I was lost for words.

'Yeah. The fans make cool weapons,' Aang agreed, grinning, 'And their leader is kinda spunky too. I mean, if she managed to persuade _you_ into a dres_s_- '

I laughed, but Sokka turned red and scowled. I thought I saw a glimmering of another reason for Sokka's change of heart.

'Back off, Airboy!' Sokka retaliated 'After all, those bunch of fangirls persuaded you to do some pretty dumb things!'

'No, no – the Unagi was my idea,' Aang said, sobering up immediately, 'And it was stupid, I know.'

'Well, I suppose there's no harm in a bit of flirting. Things like that impress girls,' my brother said, with the air of someone who knows (He doesn't).

Aang's eyes widened and he reddened. Sokka took a last big bite out of the peach, Momo avidly following his every move. I tensed up, not liking the direction this conversation was going.

'Ya know, Aang, I sorta wondered how come you acted so confidant with those girls, for someone who's been raised by monks,' my brother said, throwing the peach stone into the fire, 'I guess all that travelling's given you some experience. And I'm kinda getting to like travelling, too.'

_Ugh!_ My brother! I swear one of these days I'm going to _kill_ him! He shouldn't be encouraging that kind of behaviour! Aang grinned sheepishly, and I scowled down at my scroll, but just at that moment, Momo leapt across my open paper (leaving a muddy, flower-shaped paw-print bang in the middle of it), then jumped, chittering excitedly, on Aang, disappearing inside his shirt.

Aang collapsed in fits of laughter: 'No - _no,_ Momo! I don't have the marbles any more-! Stop! It's ticklish!'

When he had finally extricated the lemur from his shirt he airbended himself up and looked in my direction. I pretended to be busy removing Momo's pawprint off the scroll to hide my flushed face, for I was starting to think that my impression of 'simple monk', like Sokka's, needed some major adjustment.

'I'm off to catch up on some 100-year overdue meditation,' Aang said demurely, getting up.

Sokka's fallen asleep again, telling me to wake him up when its' time to leave. We have to get some more hours of flying this afternoon, before we set up camp again. Aang said we're going to travel inland today, to the Kolau mountain range.

He is still sitting in lotus position some distance away from the camp, facing the direction of the sea. He hasn't moved from that position. I wonder what he is thinking. Perhaps, in a way, meditation is like me writing in this scroll: it puts all your thoughts into focus, and allows them to be re-examined later. I guess, when this scroll is finished, it should be a learning experience, if I had to re-read it. And I'm not referring only to the 'journal' part of it. I hope that by the end of it, I will be able to write that I've mastered waterbending, and more important still, a have become a better person – a person my mother would be proud of, and worthy of her sacrifice.

**12 th day of our journey. After flying late into the night, we set up camp in hilly area, several miles inland. There is a mountain range visible in the background and on one of them, our destination for tomorrow. The Avatar said we'll be stopping at the Earth Kingdom city of Omashu, which he had often visited a 100 years ago.**

The grass is greener here and the thick blanket of snow has given way further to a patchy covering with soft green grass showing through here and there. Even the weather is much warmer now. With Sokka eating like a ravenous wolf, our supplies have dwindled faster than I'd imagined, so I suppose a stop at Omashu is necessary anyway.

Actually, Aang's enthusiasm is infectious, and now I'm curious to see this big city. Even my brother has become somewhat less focused on getting to the North Pole. Perhaps the idea of travelling for traveling's sake (or, as he put it yesterday, 'getting experience') is a welcome one: he could impress the Kyoshi Warriors with it.

' … and I made lots of friends there, ' Aang was explaining enthusiastically as we sat around the campfire, 'Great Earthbenders, too. One of them – '

'You must have spent longer travelling, than studying,' I said, rather sourly.

I did not want this to turn into another Kyoshi and have Prince Zuko on our trail again.

Or a bunch of silly girls.

'Well, no. The monks said studying and training was more important, so we were stuck at the Air Temple for _months_. But we're Air nomads- we love travelling! In summer especially, we went around with groups of Airbenders to loads of different places! The monks said intermingling with people was good…'

'Intermingling?'

I raised a quizzical eyebrow. This was sounding more and more like Kyoshi.

Aang gave a sheepish grin, and, to his credit, immediately got the drift of what I was saying.

'Well, yeah, but for most of my travels, no-one knew I was the Avatar, then. There was no special treatment, like on Kyoshi.'

'Well, sorry to burst your bubble, Air boy, but coming back to this century, after your spectacular debut at Kyoshi, and all that hero-worship stuff, I hardly think Omashu – or the rest of the Earth Kingdom - wouldn't have heard of your re-appearance!'

'Sokka's right, Aang. And that Zuko's still tracking us.'

'We'll figure something out,' he said, airbending a second bunch of dried grass towards Appa, 'But we can't let this opportunity pass! Omashu's a really great city - you'll see!'

**13 th day of our journey, and the first in Omashu City. We have entered Omashu today where among other things, the Avatar showed us a different use of the cities communication system, which was probably unauthorised. This action was not entirely without consequences, for we accidentally damaged some private property and were brought before the King of Omashu. The latter is very eccentric, but unexpectedly shrewd too. He recognised he was in the presence of an Airbender and the Avatar himself.**

**The King of Omashu declared that tomorrow Aang has to complete three challenges. **

**I think he means it.**

The day started beautifully. The sun was shining and in the distance, the city of Omashu gleamed white, a three-pointed pyramid on top of a high hill. Aang had been right about it. It was truly amazing!

I couldn't help getting excited about it, and neither could Sokka. It was so big and there were so many buildings all in one space!

We had never seen a city before, although I had seen pictures and had vague memories of the tales brought back by the Water tribe sailors who had ventured as far as the Earth Kingdom, but seeing it first hand, gleaming like a precious stone in the sunlight was entirely another matter.

I would even see Earthbending. Aang said the people were great benders and I had never seen that form of bending before. True, when I was young, a few merchant ships from the Earth Kingdom had managed to reach the South Pole and brought with them strange and valuable objects, which they traded for fish and pelts, but I had never seen them _earth bend_.

I had forgotten all my misgivings of yesterday and was feeling excited about seeing the big city. I almost forgot to tell Aang that he'd have to go in disguise. The most remarkable and immediately distinguishable feature about the young airbender is the arrow tattoo that trails around his head and down to his forehead, its pale blue in stark contrast, to his white skin.

However, with the help of a donation from Appa, he made himself a tall, furry white hat that covered his arrow (and half his face) and matching moustache. The hat was big enough to hide Momo in too, so we set off towards the city, Aang falling easily into his role of old man, and us, his accompanying grandchildren. I kept breaking out in giggles until Sokka threatened to leave me behind.

I shut up.

We had decided on some completely unpronounceable and therefore unrecognisable names for our disguises, but as soon as we got closer, despite Aang's declarations to the contrary, the sentries at the walls of the city didn't seem so friendly. They were arguing with a cabbage merchant, with the result that the merchant lost his cabbages and I, the ingratiating smile I had plastered on my face.

Especially when the sentry earthbended a huge boulder threateningly over our heads – my first experience of earthbending up close and personal!

'State your business,' he said, threateningly.

Aang however, was completely unphased: he dug his finger aggressively at the soldier's chest, in very good imitation of a garrulous old man and bullied him into letting us through. And the soldier even made Sokka carry Aang's bag!

Where in the Spirits' name does Aang get all this confidence from?

'Experience' and 'travelling' came to my mind again, as I hitched a feeble smile back on my face, but if those qualities were enough to get us through this, I wasn't going to complain.

My next experience of earthbending was awesome: the soldiers used earthbending to open the cities' massive walls and then finally we were inside! It made Sokka and I feel like we were two ignorant peasants, never to have seen a city!

I think our jaws dropped even further when we saw what was inside: tier upon tier of beautiful white buildings all the way up the steep hillside, interlaced here and there with what appeared to be chutes. It was all old stuff for Aang, however, who was telling us about a close friend of his who once lived here, called Bumi.

It was then that, inspired by their past adventures, Aang persuaded me and Sokka to have a closer look at the chutes (which were actually Omashu's mailing system) and soon we were hurtling down them on the mailing trolleys, my heart in my mouth and my words lost in a shriek as we dropped like a stone ( literally!).

I felt I was really getting some first-hand experience at what it was like being Aang's friend - 'exciting' didn't even begin to describe the feeling! It was exhilarating, adventurous and death-defyingly DANGEROUS! Thrill-seeking for its own sake!

And I loved it.

This was just like penguin-sledding back home! But when we were suddenly chased by a cart full of sharp spears, Aang rocked the cart till we went off the track and crash-landed onto the roofs below. My eyes were watering at the speed, all my bones felt broken, my lungs had escaped out of my mouth, and at one point, Aang's foot was in my face, but we couldn't stop! When Aang decided to get us out of another tight spot by using airbending to _exceed_ the speed of gravity, things got a hairier and we skidded off-track, across roofs and through houses, causing a fair bit of damage. We landed in an untidy pile on top of the hapless cabbage merchant's cart. He had somehow managed to get in the city with a new ( or better ) set of cabbages. They cushioned our fall somewhat, but did not look too good as a result.

That's when we were surrounded by soldiers and I realised Aang's disguise had been blown (also literally: the hat wasn't there).

Things got worse for we were taken in front of the King of Omashu in his palace at the top of the hill.

The palace is quite sumptuous, and lighted by strange greenish crystals, but it was the king himself that was strangest of all.

Very old and wrinkled, liver spots blemishing his face and hands, he sat on a large throne and observed us carefully through baggy eyes beneath a weird-looking crown. I looked pleadingly at him, trying to hide how anxious I was, and feeling that somehow, this was my fault. I shouldn't have let Aang persuade us to do something so irresponsible! The cabbage Merchant was all for Capital punishment, but instead the King threw us a feast and quickly established Aang was the Avatar.

Something tells me that this crazy old man isn't all that crazy, after all.

In fact, for someone who gives out such unorthodox orders, his soldiers seem to have a great respect for him, though even _they_ were astounded at his commands.

I'm writing this in a beautifully furnished chamber the King has provided us with. It is nothing but a fancy prison cell, for there's no way out, but the King said Aang must face three challenges tomorrow, so I told him to get some rest. Sokka didn't need telling: he's already snoring and I can hear Aang's steady breathing from the bed next to mine, but I can't sleep. What will the challenges be? The Kings seems crazy enough to invent anything…

I shouldn't be writing this and I don't know what on earth possessed me to get the scroll along with me to the city: I could've written my 'traveller's impression of Omashu' later. If the King's soldiers confiscate this, I don't know what I'd do! Even though most of the stuff on it is invisible, I can't tell what this weird old King's intentions are! I just can't figure him out, but I have a feeling he can find out a lot more about us from the little visible stuff I've written.

**14 th day of our journey, and the last in the city of Omashu. The Avatar faced the challenges with courage and ingenuity, thus greatly pleasing the King of Omashu, who turned out after all, to be a long-lost friend of the Avatar, called Bumi. Although very old, King Bumi is a prodigious earth bender and taught the Avatar to think about solving problems in unusual and unexpected ways. **

**He also told him that, as Avatar, his mission should be to defeat Fire Lord Ozai.**

They came in silently, when I had finally fallen asleep. A gloved hand covered my mouth and I was jolted awake only to find myself in a soldier's firm grip. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Sokka struggling but he, too, was gagged and silently overpowered by the King's soldiers. Frantically, I glanced over at Aang as we were led away, but he was still asleep and undisturbed.

I couldn't tell whether it was day or night, for the corridor we were led down had no windows and, like our room, was illuminated only by the glowing crystals.

'You have to co-operate if you want the Avatar to complete the challenges successfully,' one of the Soldiers said, as they removed our gags, 'King's orders!'

'You go tell that crazy nut-case –!' Sokka started angrily.

'_Sokka_!' I cried warningly.

At that point I didn't know what they could do to Aang.

'Hold out your finger!' the soldier said.

'W – What?!'

But I was already doing as I was told, for just then a door was earthbended out of the solid wall of the corridor, and, to my relief, Aang was standing there unharmed with the crazy King, dressed in poofy, purple robes. He was explaining Aang's first challenge, and the reason why Aang should bother doing it. I glanced down as a green crystal ring was placed round my finger. It glowed briefly and tightened itself suddenly so that I couldn't pull it off, though I almost dislocated my finger-joint trying. Sokka had one too.

Jennamite, or Creeping Crystal, the King explained with a grim smile.

Crazy or not, this king was shrewd enough to know how to get his own way. I stopped struggling with the ring and we were taken far underground, emerging onto to a huge dimly-lit cavern. We moved out to the small balcony jutting out over the cavern, worried about what Aang would be forced to do. Sokka joined me. It didn't look good.

Hundreds of needle-sharp stalactites and stalagmites yawned hungrily from the ceiling and floor of the cavern's mouth. Aang had to retrieve a key dangling from a chain above a ladder, both of which were located within a 100-foot waterfall.

'He's dead,' Sokka said, ever the optimist.

I gave him a sharp jab with my left elbow. The other was already encased in Creeping crystal.

Aang jumped nimbly from one sharp stalactite to the next until he reached the waterfall and dove right in. But the sheer force of the water slowed him down.

'He's not gonna make it.' My brother said frowning.

'Shut up Sokka!'

Bad enough the King was mocking him.

But it was true. Aang had hardly reached the first rung of the ladder, half-way up the waterfall, when he was flung out straight onto the deadly forest of sharp needle rocks.

I gasped, and ran to the edge of the balcony, horrified. Sokka came up behind me.

However, thinking quickly, Aang flung his arms and legs wide between two overhanging stalactites, wedging himself between them and sliding to a slow halt with a needle-sharp stalagmite barely inches beneath his outstretched legs.

I breathed a sigh of relief, and heard Sokka draw in a shaky breath by my side.

'A few more inches,' my brother said, wincing in sympathy, 'And Aang would've truly been the last Airbender!'

It took me a few seconds to process what he was saying.

'Sokka!' I cried flushing red, 'How can you joke when – ? ' But something in Sokka's face made me look back round at the cavern. Aang had dived into the waterfall again.

This time he was flung out and slammed into one of the larger stalactites. The King's cackling voice echoed round the underground chamber, mocking him. I started loosing my patience with this crazy old man. What in the spirits name did he expect Aang to do?! That waterfall was impossible to climb!

I think the old king's words must have angered Aang too for suddenly a stalagmite-tip impaled itself in the rock above the King's head, the key dangling on a chain from it and in front of the Kings nose.

'There! Enjoy your lunch!' Aang shouted at the King 'I want my friends back now!'

His words echoed angrily and threateningly around the cavern, but the King calmly told us it was time for the second challenge. It was a bit unnerving to see Aang so angry and yelling at a _King_ – even a mad one - but I couldn't do anything. That stupid crystal had crept my arm and shoulder. It felt strange too: it didn't feel cold, like I expected a crystal to be, and in spite of the massive weight around my arm and shoulder, it felt relatively light.

The next challenge seemed ridiculously easy: get Flopsy, the King's pet, back to the king. Only Flopsy turned out to be a 15-foot Gorilla- rabbit!

Thankfully, Aang realised on time and Flopsy, in spite of his size and huge canines, turned out to be a real softy.

But the third challenge was worse. Aang chose to fight the king! That's when I was finally convinced that this king, in spite of the eccentricity bordering on madness, was definitely someone to be reckoned with. He flung off his robes, revealing a physique someone half his age would be proud of. We were taken to an arena ( Sokka had to be helped, for his crystal was growing more to one side than the other) and made to watch from an overhanging balcony.

I watched anxiously, peering above the green crystal now creeping up to my chin as the King earthbended boulder after boulder and sent them winging after Aang, who avoided them easily.

'Typical Airbender tactics: Avoid and evade' the King said, disparagingly.

'Ya know,' Sokka remarked 'He's right. Aang doesn't really go for _attack_ strategies!'

'How could you take his side, Sokka? I cried indignantly, 'Airbending is used defensively, but it's still effective!'

'Well, earthbending's looking pretty effective right now,' my brother replied, a note of admiration in his voice, as the King earthbended a huge slab of stone to deflect the blast of air Aang sent towards him.

I didn't want to agree with him, but there really was something awe-inspiring about the way the old man could bend the very ground we stood on. I knew I was looking at a master bender at work.

'Sooner or later you've got to strike back,' the King goaded Aang.

What was he playing at? He was provoking Aang to retaliate! He seemed to _wan_t Aang to attack him or rather, from his words, to surprise him with something unexpected. The crazy old coot! I tried to clench my fists in fury but couldn't – they were encased in Jennamite! I could see that the King's barbed words were having an effect on Aang too. He looked just as frustrated and angry as I felt.

Suddenly, Aang _did_ attack.

And what an attack! I understood now why he had said he earned the arrows of an airbending master before the others: this too, was a master at work: a master Airbender! He ran fast in tight circles, creating what I can only describe as a small tornado. It twisted viciously fast sixty feet in the air: a funnel- shaped monster directed straight at the King.

Which was just as well, for the old man had ripped off the entire balcony – I could feel the ground shaking beneath my feet though I could not see it ( the crystal had crept up to my head now) - and sent it hurtling towards Aang.

The tornado whipped the whole thing round and sent it crashing back to the King, who barely earthbended it out of the way in time.

The duel ended seconds later, with Aang slipping under the King's guard, his staff held menacingly a few inches before his nose.

The King however, was holding a huge boulder over _both_ their heads.

Then, to our surprise, the King started laughing, telling Aang he had fought well. We weren't so pleased when he told us we had to guess his name…. Or that we had only minutes left to get it right before the Jennamite suffocated us!

I was sure the Kings name was a riddle: I used to play that sort of thing with the children back home to keep them amused. And I was sure it had something to do with the crazy challenges.

Aang fished around desperately for clues: 'To solve each test, I had to think differently than I usually would,' he said. Then his face lighted up, 'I know his name.'

Sokka and I looked at each other uncomprehendingly, as Aang went towards the throne room. We followed more slowly - the Jennamite had encased us completely and now I was feeling its weight.

There we found Aang enveloped in a bear hug by the King of Omashu. Our jaws would have dropped if it weren't for the creeping crystals!

But it turned out alright in the end. The King was Bumi, Aang's old friend! He was, amazingly, still alive, and had set up the challenges to teach Aang a lesson in thinking outside the box. Even the Jennamite was nothing more than rock candy ( 'I could've eaten my way out of that thing!' said Sokka).

Anyway, I'm back in the room we slept the night in. The King has kindly provided us with all the supplies that we can carry and some earth kingdom money.

'A large enough amount to make you appreciate it's' worth, but small enough to open your mind to other possibilities, young Waterbender,' he said to me with a smile, as he dropped a small pouch of coins on the table in front of me at lunchtime.

I hope I find out on time what the 'possibilities' he has in mind are, before the money runs out. I really still can't decide to what extent King Bumi means what he says.

Aang has no such qualms. He's having a great time with his old friend: it's so strange to see them together talking about their old adventures when one looks so young and one looks so old. Yet I'm happy that Aang found at least _someone_ from his past. I could see how important this old man (or boy?) was to him and still is: someone who _remembers_ where he came from.

Sokka is still at the table, stuffing his face with King's food. 'Hardly likely to come across a king's banquet again after we leave Omashu,' he explained.

Momo is with him helping himself to some fruit.

I left them to it. Aang is somewhere on Omashu's mail system: he challenged King Bumi to ride the carts with him for old times' sake. Hopefully, they arrive back in one piece. As for me, I'm rolling up my scroll and heading out to explore the city: it's about time I became a bit more of a sophisticated traveller rather than a simple watertribe girl who's amazed just because a house doesn't melt!

We leave the city tonight, for it isn't safe to stay too long in one place, and the word that the Avatar was here will have spread, but I'll pick up as much as I can in these few hours of the life and customs of Omashu citizens.

I need whatever experience I can get. King Bumi has made it very clear – and he was, for the first time, speaking with undisputed seriousness – that Aang's job is to restore balance to the world by defeating Fire Lord Ozai.

I always knew Aang had to fight the Fire Nation, but hearing it pronounced by the King of Omashu – who is a genius, despite his eccentricities - drove home to me what a huge task Aang has before him, and how little we have gone along that way, but I'm determined to help him, whatever it takes.

Getting to know Omashu may be useful, I don't know.

But I'm not taking the mail-cart route again.

**19 th day of our journey. The countryside continues to change. This is a region of deep valleys between high mountains (though none are as high as those in the Air nomad territories.) We are travelling in a north-westerly direction, hugging the coast line. We've come across several villages, but Sokka is reluctant to stop, since we are getting closer to the Fire Nation colonies in the Earth Kingdom. However, King Bumi's supplies are dwindling fast, and sooner or later, we'll have to find a market. **

**21 st Day of our journey. Today we found out exactly how close we are to the fire nation colonies, when the Avatar, pursued by some Scorpion Bees, accidentally ran into a Fire nation soldier. **

**These deep, forest valleys are crawling with fire nation soldiers, especially close to roads of communication. According to Sokka, they patrol the roads between the villages, or else go from town to town enforcing the Fire Lords' rule. Many times, we've seen the smoke from their campfires, and heard small groups of them on the march. However, we managed to visit some of the farmer's markets along the way, and spent the money King Bumi gave us on supplies. **

Aang had a close encounter with one lone Fire Nation soldier today. Momo disturbed a nest of Scorpion bees that settled on Aang in a suffocating swarm. He was quite calm about it, but Momo panicked and disturbed the bees, so that Aang had to air-bend them all off. Obviously, they attacked and Aang took off on an airball. My brother also panicked and suggested he head for a column of smoke he'd seen in the distance.

That got rid of the bees, but the smoke belonged to a Fire Nation soldier's campfire. Thankfully, it was a lone soldier who was phobic about Scorpion bees. He got distracted by one of the buzzing swarm, and Aang got away.

He said it happened so quickly that the soldier barely got a good glimpse of him.

Aang is very upbeat about it, but this encounter had me worried. If we go to another market, Aang'll need a disguise. I don't know how far the news has travelled, but after Kyoshi and Omashu, I fear that it won't only be Zuko searching for us, but even common soldiers. Even in these remote villages and other Fire Nation outposts, they will be briefed on what they have to look out for, in order to capture the avatar.

Life is becoming more complicated.


	6. Chapter 6

**23 rd day of our journal. Our supplies have dwindled again and we have stopped at an Earth Kingdom mining village for provisions. We have been offered shelter for the night by a kindly shopkeeper and her young son, Haru. Fire Nation soldiers are exacting a heavy toll on these people in taxes and protection money. Worse still, Earthbending is prohibited. Given the overwhelming presence of Fire Nation soldiers, we cannot risk the Avatar being discovered, so we'll leave at dawn.**

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, smelling a thousand different smells: the earthy damp growth of moss near the stream; the musky odour of the strange ferns in the undergrowth; the particular, but not unpleasant, smell of decaying logs and fallen leaves, slowly recycling themselves into new life...It was morning, and the early sun filtered through the forest canopy in a dim green glow.

It's been many days since we had reached the thickly forested valleys and mountains of this part of the Earth Kingdom, but I still can't stop marvelling at the different smells and sights and sounds of the forest around me.

I placed my hand on the rough bark of a large tree, feeling the vibrancy of its life-water within.

This place was so rich and different from the barren wastes of the South Pole!

Not that I would exchange the majestic beauty of the glaciers, the pure white perfection of the ice and snow for anything else, but I must say, these forests have a calm serenity all of their own, and I'm getting to appreciate it more and more: especially early morning and at twilight. There's something magical about this large, living, breathing place.

I opened my eyes and noticed Aang sitting on a tree root observing me. Clear, gray eyes were fixed steadily on me and a small smile hovered around his lips.

I felt like a bit of a fool.

'I know, I know, it's only a forest,' I said snatching my hand away from the tree, 'You must've seen hundreds of them, Aang, but it's still all kind of new to me –'

'And to me, Katara. I know exactly how you feel – '

'You do?'

'No forest is like another, but they kind of grow on you. I find myself holding my breath and just _listening_ sometimes. The monks always said there's a serene harmony in a forest that helps meditation. They said the Forest spirits are strong and I suppose that's what makes them so special.'

'Glad you think so,' I said, going over to the sleeping bags, 'For a moment I thought you were laughing at me there for being so ... you know...green and stuff'

Aang's eyes opened wide in shock. ''Course not! I was just – ' but he stopped and looked down in confusion.

'Well, that's ok, Aang, After all, I'm the one who's still amazed every time – look at Sokka: he's taken to it like a fish to water: give him good hunting grounds and he's happy! But as for me - even being out in the open without my coat feels so unusual. It's become so _warm.'_

'It's still winter, though,' he answered leaning back against the tree root. 'Besides, I think you're adapting pretty well, Katara'

'Water benders are adaptable people they say. The water tribes used to travel once a year to visit their sister tribes for the New Moon Festivities, but because of the war no-one's gone anywhere for ages!'

'That's a shame. I can't imagine not being able to travel. But I guess that's the nomad in me...'

'You know, Aang – I could really get used to this life. It's kind of growing on me, and with you around there's never a dull moment!' I said with a smile.

'Really?!' he sat up eagerly.

I gave a small laugh. 'But that doesn't mean I'm going to get side-tracked to go riding Hog-monkeys or mail-cart chutes, Aang! We're heading north now.'

He gave a wry smile. 'Yeah, ok, but you would've loved –'

'I'm sure I would,' I interrupted, 'But we've got to be a bit more focussed on our mission. We need to seriously start learning some good waterbending.'

'Sure, Katara,' he said leaning back against the tree root.

He didn't sound half as eager as I was, but then he's already a master of his element, and though I think I'm improving a bit, I'm nowhere near as he is in mastering my own element. Something I want to remedy as soon as I can.

'Look Aang, much as I've come to love travelling, I think of it as a means to an end, rather than an end in itself...'

He frowned. Travelling, for an Air Nomad, was a way of life.

'Though I admit travelling has a way of opening your mind to the possibilities...There - now I sound like your friend King Bumi!' I added on a lighter note.

'Bumi wasn't a great traveller' Aang grinned, 'Sure he liked it when we went around on Appa, but he was always eager to return to Omashu. His family had strong ties to that city for generations!'

I listened as Aang recounted how he had first met Bumi , while I busied myself with the sleeping bags. He spoke animatedly, and I could see how close those two were. No wonder Aang had guessed who he was even after a whole century had shrivelled and twisted Bumi into an unrecognisable old man. Aang was recounting how he had gone straight to Omashu when he was first allowed by the Monks to travel alone, soon after he got his arrows, and Bumi had shown him some other unusual stuff about his beloved Omashu.

'Did Bumi know you were the Avatar?'

_What in the Spirits' name made me ask that?_

Aang frowned and said nothing for a second. 'I told you back at Omashu, that very few people knew,' he said in a low voice, and not wanting to meet my eyes 'The monks did, of course, but ... yeah, I told Bumi. I could trust him.'

Before I could say anything he changed conversation. 'I wonder what Sokka's found. He should be back by now.'

'Yes, he should,' I said slowly.

Sokka had gone looking for something to eat. I folded my sleeping bag in silence. It was not the first time that Aang had veered away from talking about his past: or at least that part of his past that had to do with him being the Avatar. He had said he never wanted to be, and now I was wondering whether there was more to it than just the uncertainty of what to do to stop the war.

We knew that he had to master the other elements, but King Bumi had made it clear that, to stop the war, Aang had to one day defeat Fire Lord Ozai. Sure, it was a formidable task, but it hadn't seemed to worry Aang unduly that day. I risked a glance at Aang: he looked downcast as though my question had prodded into wakefulness something he did not like to think about. Aang trusted Bumi enough to tell him he was the Avatar. I can see why the monks were cautious those days: Sozin started the war by attacking the Airbenders after all.

I find myself hoping that one day Aang will learn to trust me as he does Bumi. But that cannot be forced, so I decided not to ask him any more questions.

Sokka reappeared then, bringing with him the catch of the day.

Only it was nothing more than a few miserable nuts.

That's when the earth started shaking.

We ran off to explore and saw a young earthbender practising in a dry river bed, who took off as soon as he saw us. We followed in the direction he had taken and came to a small mining village in a steep valley between two mountains. We needed provisions anyway. It was at the market that we saw the young earthbender again. I was intrigued. Why was he running away from us?

I followed him into a small store where a grey-haired old lady stood behind the counter. Even then, he kept denying we'd met, but when Aang said 'we saw you earthbending' their expressions froze in horror. The old lady quickly closed all the windows and door and turned angrily to the young earthbender. It turned out that the young man was her son, but we couldn't understand what the fuss was all about.

We didn't have time to, for there was a loud knock at the door and Fire Nation soldiers came in.

It was a tense few minutes, and we all tried to act naturally. I was glad Aang had managed to get a hat before the soldiers came, especially since I don't think we looked too 'natural'. But I guess the soldiers are used to having people act nervous around them. Given their job, it's hardly surprising. They were tax collectors: and their tactics of exacting what little money these people had through fear and coercion makes my blood boil just remembering it!

The old woman, looking careworn and weary, did not argue but handed over the money. When the Fire Nation soldiers left, she explained they'd been living under this oppression for five years and Earthbending was forbidden!

But what really angered me was that Haru, her son, said people there were too cowardly to take action. He was right. Yet Haru himself looked like a strapping young earthbender: he could stand up to such bullies – and his mother – quite easily: he looked old enough.

But I sensed a strange reluctance.

It was when his mother, her eyes dulled with too many shed tears, explained how her husband and many other earthbenders had been taken away by the soldiers, that I understood.

Echoes of my own tribes' history passed through my head. The Fire Nation had taken away the water tribes' strength when it took away all the waterbenders until none were left. That had happened many years ago.

Here in this small village, it was happening _now_. I glanced at Haru. His jaws were clenched and eyes narrowed in anger and frustration.

I knew how he felt.

They let us stay the night in a barn near the mountainside fields they cultivated. It was very kind of them to let us shelter here.

I walked part of the way back with Haru. I wanted to apologise for being so insensitive back at the store. I understand now that both Haru and his mother have a lot to lose if the Fire Nation soldiers take him away. She only has her son left and he knows she depends on him.

We talked for some time as we watched the sun go down. He told me about his father and I showed him my necklace – it is the only thing left of my mother and I guess it is not enough, but wearing it gives me a sensation of comfort: as though she is watching over me somehow.

I found it so easy to talk to Haru. We have a lot in common. And, considering he's a young _man_ and well... I like to think I'm a young _woman_ now, I found it surprisingly comfortable talking to him, almost like talking to my brother. Well, not exactly like talking to Sokka: Sokka has none of the sensitive, gentle-spirited mannerisms of Haru. Except for a brief moment in the store, when the memory of his father ignited a fire in his green eyes, I hadn't seen Haru rant and storm against the soldiers' injustice and cruelty like I had done.

I wondered what Haru would be like if he hadn't had to face five long years of continuous oppression. I can sense strength in him, a true earthbender spirit that lies just beneath the surface: I'm sure that if given half the opportunity, he would fight for his village!

And I saw exactly how powerful that earthbender spirit in him was: as we were returning back from our walk he heard a loud rumbling noise and shouts for help. A mining shaft had collapsed trapping an old man beneath the rubble.

It didn't look good for the old man, for we couldn't pull him out and the earth was unstable and set to collapse further. Haru was reluctant at first but at my instigation he earthbended the rubble away and saved the old man's life.

Between us, we led the old man back to the village. He was shaken and didn't speak much, but I was sure he'd be fine. Haru said he was one of the foremen at the mine.

It was night by the time I arrived back at the barn, so there was just enough time to write what happened and turn in: Sokka wants us to leave at dawn.

**24 th Day of our journey. The fire nation soldiers came at midnight and took Haru away to a metal rig out on the Mo Ce Sea. I got myself arrested so I could help Haru and the other earthbenders escape. It was not easy, for the earthbenders' spirit was broken from a long history of oppression, but with the Avatar's help, the prisoners used the coal that fuels the ship to earthbend and overpower the warden and his handful of soldiers. **

**The freed earthbenders will return home en masse to reclaim their villages. We hope this will be the first of many such uprisings that will lead to the ultimate defeat of the Fire Nation .**

I lost my necklace! I can't believe I lost my mother's necklace!

Given all that has happened in the last two days, I shouldn't be making a fuss about a _necklace._ But I can't help it! For me it is no ordinary necklace, it carried the water tribe symbol, carved into the iridescent blue of a sea shell: a symbol of my mother's sacrifice.

I feel lost without it.

Not only because it is the only thing I have left of her, but because it was a much bigger comfort to me than I have ever admitted to anyone. It felt as if she was watching me when I wore it. That's silly, I suppose, because she's gone to a place where I cannot really see or hear her.

Years ago, I tried hard to fill in the void she left behind, so that our family wouldn't fall apart. I think that's when I started wearing that necklace every day: I thought if could make me _look_ like her, then we would be reminded of what she was to us, what she wanted us to be.

And though I filled her place as best I could, there were times – oh, so many _many_ times – when I wished I could be the _daughter_ and not the '_mother_'! So many times I didn't know if I was doing right or wrong, and I needed – desperately needed - to talk to her, and ask her advice.

Sometimes the necklace helped: I would close my eyes and touch its smooth, cool surface and try and think what my mother would do. _'Katara, sweetie, there's no need panic, this is what you should do...' _ and I would imagine her calm, soothing voice giving me advice, (whether the advice was based on real, remembered words, or the longings of my childish imagination, I don't know). The thing is, over time, I slowly (and painfully) started to figure things out for myself, so I relied on the necklace less and less. But it has always been there, a comforting presence around my neck.

Until now.

I realised they had taken Haru away when I looked at his mother's face yesterday morning. It is a look I will never forget.

The grief in that old, lined face is something I have seen before.

But this time, it was all _my_ fault.

The old man betrayed Haru, and it was my fault I made him earthbend! How could that old man betray his own people?! How _could_ he!? May the spirits avenge his black treacherous heart! After Haru saved his life!

I told Aang and Sokka what happened and I think I was so upset they didn't believe me when I said I was going to save him. But I couldn't just do nothing!

It took a while to persuade Sokka, because although he agreed we owed Haru and his mother, he didn't like the idea of his sister getting arrested to find out where they were.

'It sounds like something Aang would dream up!' he complained.

Aang just grinned. He was all for it.

I wanted to be seen by the Fire Nation Soldiers earthbending a rock. Then I would be taken to wherever they take the earthbenders and figure out a way to save them. I knew I could count on Haru's help and, from what he said about him, his father too, if he was there. With so many earthbenders, it wouldn't be difficult to escape.

The plan involved airbending the stone off a ventilation shaft with Aang's help, so that it would appear like earthbending. We rolled the stone in position.

Now that we were close to carrying out my plan I started to get butterflies. There were so many things that could go wrong: and I realised I didn't have a clue to where I would be carted off.

Aang was in position too, but he was barely paying attention to what I was saying, airbending puffs of air at a large yellow butterfly. To my annoyance, he seemed to think being arrested by the ruthless Fire Nation was 'fun stuff'! I mean – I was risking _my life_, wasn't I?

Perhaps for Aang at least it _was_ fun and games. Look how easily he had escaped from Zuko when he was captured and imprisoned in that Fire Nation ship. I remember he had gone on board quite light-heartedly: as though he knew it would be easy.

Well, it may not be that easy for me but I was going to try my best. This wasn't even about me or what _I_ was risking: this was about giving these people the freedom that should be theirs by right! I was a bit scared, but I was determined! ( Sokka calls it being as stubborn as an Arctic Hippo) I didn't want the look on Haru's mother's face to haunt me for the rest of my life.

The arrest went without flaw. Or almost, because Aang forgot his cue, but thankfully the soldier wasn't one of the brightest, and he bought our story.

They dragged me off to a small one-celled jailed where they gave me and a few other earthbenders a sackcloth to wear, identifying us as prisoners. Later that same morning, we were thrust onto some carts and, heavily escorted by soldiers, lest we try to earthbend, we were taken away down the road that led past the coal mines and towards the Mo Ce sea.

People in the village glanced up at me as I was taken away. Some curiously, some with pity in their eyes and some grimly. Some might have been wondering what crime I had committed to be in such a position. I knew I had done nothing, yet it still felt uncomfortable to be subjected to so many accusing stares. I hung my head in shame. I had, after all, brought about the separation of a mother from her one son. That was my crime.

Then from the corner of my eyes I recognised Aang and Sokka . They both had conical hats on that hid their faces, but they both looked up as my cart rumbled by.

Sokka had a sombre look on his face. To my surprise, even Aang looked unusually serious, even worried. I bit my lip as they went out of view. I hoped I hadn't led them too into trouble.

We were taken by ship to a huge metal rig out at sea where Fire Nation ships were repaired and refuelled. There, we met the warden.

His welcoming speech and his cynical reference to us prisoners as his 'honoured guests' was enough to get my back up again. I felt my blood boil at the injustice of these evil Fire Nation men: the warden even took out his rage and frustration on one old man for daring to cough!

When he eyeballed me at the end of his speech, his veiled threat only too apparent, I poured all the hatred I had bottled up inside me into staring back at him. If he thought I'd be cowed by his arrogance and position he's got to think again!

We were dismissed and I'd barely had time to take in my surroundings before Haru greeted me. I was so happy to see a familiar face. He introduced me to his father, Tyro and I thought it was about time we talked of escaping, for Sokka had only given me 12 hours.

That's when I hit my first obstacle. From Haru's words I had expected to find Tyro already had a plan of escape or even rebellion, but I was surprised to find that they had given up and were intent only on survival or a 'wait out this war' tactic...

This war had lasted a 100 years already! How long were they prepared to wait?! I just couldn't understand the apathy. From what little I had seen the whole rig was only commanded by a handful of Fire Nation soldiers: the fact that the rig was made of metal seemed to them to be enough to keep the earthbenders in check.

So I tried rallying them to take action, for I couldn't stand to see so many helpless and hopeless faces looking back at me. I knew that, like Haru, there was a strong, courageous spirit in these people if only they recognised it. After all, with the return of the Avatar, there could be no question of 'waiting out the war'.

I poured my heart out, trying to shake them out of their apathy, but a deep silence greeted my words. I was crushed. I really, _really_ meant every word I said. But the earthbenders are too broken-spirited to take action.

Some time later, as night was falling, Tyro showed me why.

It is sickening.

'This is Jinsong' Tyro said, indicating a grey-haired old man shivering beneath a ragged blanket, 'He's been here longest, for he was one of the first to defy the Fire nation back at the village.'

He pulled away the ragged blanket and I bit back a shocked cry. Silvery-white scar tissue criss-crossed the man's arms, disappearing beneath the thin brown tunic. Burn marks. Watery green eyes looked up at me dully, any defiance they once held long gone and replaced by a dead look. Tyro pulled me over to someone else huddled against a metal wall of the rig.

'And this is Tula, daughter of one of the town's elders. She was a great earthbender and helped shape the mountainside above our village where the terraced field are.'

I noticed the use of the past tense with a feeling of dread.

'Nice speech, little girl,' Tula said, not even looking up at me.

_Little girl?_ She looked barely past twenty herself, but the look in her eyes when she finally lifted her face was that of an old woman.

'I hope you remember what you said in your speech when the warden takes you in for some light entertainment ... otherwise known as _torture_' she spat the words out harshly and then, with a cynical smile, she lifted up her hands for me to see.

This time I almost screamed: her hands were a mass of scar tissues, fingers broken and bent at impossible angles, the shiny tissue of burn-scars twisting the flesh together so that her hands resembled claws.

'I was fiery young earthbender, little girl' she continued, 'But now I can hardly earth bend at all. Oh - but I learned to keep a civil tongue in my head. The warden's pleased with that,' she ended with a hysterical kind of laugh.

Tyro led me horrified, from one broken person to the next. Those that were imprisoned in the early days were the worst, for those had resisted hardest and longest. They had tortured them mercilessly, taking special care to burn their hands and feet, for they knew that earth bending power depended largely on movement of those limbs. These victims were left barely able to earthbend at all, their frustration at their incapacity turning inwards, so that they stared, half-mad with bitterness in dark corners aboard the rig, knowing part of then had died and nothing would revive it.

Newer prisoners, seeing what happened to the older ones, were quick to think that survival was the better option, rather than straight-out defiance.

Strangely enough, although I was horrified, although I could now better understand the slow attrition of sheer cruelty that broke these Earthbenders' spirits, I became even more and more determined to _do something_.

Although my mind cringed from even contemplating how I would feel if my hands were burned like that and I couldn't ever waterbend properly ever again, I knew I could not abandon these people.

So when I had finally lain down to sleep at night, images of horrific scars still haunting my dreams, I knew what I had to do.

It seemed only a few minutes later that I felt a soft touch on my shoulder.

It was Aang.

'Sshh!' he whispered.

I got up and we tiptoed carefully out of the sleeping prisoners hearing. Aang kept glancing back at me and I saw that he had lost the flippant attitude of that morning. Truthfully, I felt rather glad about that because after witnessing the horrors of the prisoners, I didn't think I could stand anyone – even Aang – saying it was easy to get away.

For these people, it isn't.

But to my surprise, Aang was in a different mood altogether.

'You had me a bit worried, Katara' he said, 'Sokka said you know what you're doing, but the twelve hours are up and you still hadn't appeared.'

A strange warm went through me at his words: both at Sokka's unexpected vote of confidence and at Aang's concern.

'These people need our help,' I whispered urgently 'They've been through a lot of hardship and punishment.'

I explained briefly how I had failed to move them to take action and a few minutes later, when we had reached Sokka who was hiding just below the main platform of the rig on Appa, I was glad I had Aang on my side, for I told them I was going to stay and see this through.

Sokka gave in finally, Aang sent Appa away, and we started planning what to do. Aang wished he could produce a hurricane. We dismissed that one: not only because it was crazy, but also because he probably actually could, if what we saw him do at the temple on the Patola Mountains was anything to go by. But I don't think he remembered that.

It was Aang however, who came up with the idea of the coal: coal is earth and the only one on board the rig: earthbenders could use it to free themselves.

We had everything planned and next morning in the crowded part of the platform Aang airbended all the coal that fuelled the rig and the fire nation ship through a chute and onto the platform, bang in the middle of the gathered prisoners. He followed the black mound, a strange apparition sooty with coal dust. Aang coughed himself clear of the soot as the warden and his men surrounded us.

I spoke to the earthbenders encouraging them to take their fate into their own hands but was met with silence again. The familiar crushed feeling came over me again, to the tune of the warden's cruel taunts.

'You've failed,' he taunted.

And I thought I had, but then Haru launched the first lump of coal.

I _knew_ he had it in him!

A fight broke out, but Tyro was not going to let anyone harm his son. Together, they earthbended the coal at the warden and his men. The warden was hopeless, shooting fireballs haphazardly in all directions, and his men were hardly any better. The earthbenders soon threw them overboard. Sokka jumped into the fight eagerly disarming some soldiers and Aang finished off the rest by shooting out coal from a neat airfunnel he created.

Soon all the prisoners were headed back to their village on the same fire navy ship that had brought them there. Haru said I had inspired them and I was really happy to hear that, for it had seemed, at the time, as though my words had fallen on deaf ears.

But my happiness was short-lived, for it was then that I discovered my necklace was missing.

For a day that had so many ups and downs, this was, on a personal level, the worst moment of all for me, and I can find no words of comfort either in what I write or what I do. I keep telling myself its only a necklace, that I'm a big girl now and don't need it anymore, after all, as I told Haru, it's not enough: no necklace can ever substitute my mother's soft caress, her hugs...

Haru understands, and I think, as I bid him goodbye, that he felt kinda guilty about what happened.

'In helping me gain back my father, you lost your only link to your mother', he said, sadly.

'I wouldn't have it any other way to see you reunited with your father, Haru. Don't worry about it.'

'Goodbye, Katara. I won't forget what you did for us.'

'Goodbye, Haru.'

We set up camp as far away from the Mining village as it was possible to go, for we don't want to draw any more unnecessary attention – as I told Haru, our mission is to get Aang to the North Pole, and from the quiet determination in Tyro's voice, I think he will not need our help in ridding his village of the Fire Nation soldiers.

Sokka and Aang are very quiet tonight, and have treated me to many little kindnesses they think I haven't noticed.

But I have. It makes me realise that the _here and now_ is more important than our links to the past. The spirit of my mother will live on through _me_ – my actions and my deeds will speak louder than the symbolism of a necklace, and from now on, I have to find the strength the necklace gave me within myself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: all recognisable places and characters belong to Bryan and Mike.**

_**A/n: this was supposed to be one chapter with the next, but it got too long and I had to divide. I'll be posting the next one shortly.**_

**27 th day of our journey. We are still travelling in a vaguely Northern direction, keeping fairly close to the coast. The deep valleys in this mountainous region are thickly forested and although winter, their climate is mild. At least for my brother and I, who are used to a harsher, colder one. **

It was one of those huge, wet, snotty gurgling sneezes that somehow only old, fat men know how to produce.

Poor Aang! It landed right onto him and his comical but dismayed look through the droplets that covered his face had me in giggles. I tried to keep a straight face, but Sokka had no such compunction:

'Ha! Ha!' he shouted, 'There! Now we're even: that's for covering me with snot when we first found you!'

'That was Appa,' Aang mumbled, throwing him a dirty look.

He brought his fists together, preparing to blow everything off with a blast of air, but caught my eyes just in time to desist.

We didn't need a display of airbending to give away the fact that he was the Avatar. We had stopped at another small farming village set in a valley between high mountains. It had no natural resources like the coal mines near Haru's village, so there were no Fire Nation soldiers around, but we couldn't be too careful now.

With a resigned sigh, Aang wiped the spittle off with his face with his sleeve.

The originator of the sneeze, a fat, old vegetable vendor, didn't seem to notice.

'D'you wan' three or four ob these turnips, miss?' he asked, sniffling wetly and rubbing his red nose.

He held up the pale root with the hand he had previously rubbed his nose with. I think the disgust must have shown on my face.

'I'b got a cold,' he explained, unnecessarily.

'Uh…I'll take just one and then trade the rest of the nuts for some of these.'

I quickly helped myself to some lettuce and barley before the merchant could lay his grimy paws on them. But I couldn't afford to be too choosy. Haru and Tyro had provided us with enough provisions for a few days, but those were gone, and now we could only get by on what we found in the thick forests in this part of the Earth Kingdom and what we could trade for them.

It wasn't much. Sokka had managed to catch some very small fish in the streams down in the valleys, but it was still winter and the hunting was not good. Aang and I had managed to fill a bag with late autumn berries and this merchant was the only one who had accepted to trade.

'It's them little boys,' the vegetable vendor said thickly, handing me a lettuce and nodding his head to a house further down the street, 'They keep peltin' people with water, and they got me early yesterday morning: spent all day standin' in me stall, soaked to the skin. Now I'b… I'b…Ahschoo!'

We were prepared for it this time and stepped back. Aang handed over the berries, Sokka the small bag of fish and we left hurriedly.

'Let's get these vegetables to camp,' Sokka mumbled to Aang, 'Before they start sneezing too,'

'You go ahead guys,' I called out 'I'll catch up with you later.'

I had just spotted the source of the vegetable vendor's misery. Two small boys were throwing water-filled skins from a high window onto hapless passers-by. They were having the time of their lives but their drenched victims weren't.

I thought I'd even the odds a bit in favour of the passer-bys and give those kids a taste of their own medicine so I waterbended their next water bombs right back at them.

They dove for cover but as soon as they looked out of the window again – whoosh! I waterbended a whole barrelful of water right into their surprised faces!

People in the street started cheering, - they were obviously fed up at the boy's pranks, and I must say it _did_ feel good. In fact, I think my waterbending has improved a bit and I was smugly thinking that it'd be stupid for anyone to challenge a water bender to a water fight, when a water bomb exploded at the back of my head!

It was Sokka! He and Aang had waited to see what was happening and my brother got me alright - my head and dress were soaked! With a grim smile, I water bended the water in the big puddle that was now beneath the boys house and flung it at my brother.

It soaked him, and unfortunately, even Aang who was behind him holding the bags of vegetables.

'Well, at least the vegetables are clean, now' he said ruefully, water dripping down his hat and clothes.

'Yeah, great,' Sokka grumbled, quite put out, 'How about you try and waterbend the water _off_ us now!'

'Don't complain, Sokka ,_you_ started it! Anyway, I think we should get out of here. People are going to start asking questions!'

'So what? It's waterbending not _air_bending!'

'Sshhh!'

'Ok, ok!' Sokka grinned hugely at the gathering crowd of onlookers. Most seemed just curious or amused at the fight. 'There's nothing to see here – just a water fight between friends. Happens sometimes, ya know…'

We made our way squelchily past the last of the village houses, followed by many curious looks and even some cheers.

I was a bit worried now. After what happened on the rig a week ago, Sokka said he was sure the Fire Nation would be out searching for us even more assiduously. We had, after all, taken over a Fire Nation rig, commandeered their ships, thrown the warden and his men overboard. and started the spark of revolution among the coastal mining villages. Furthermore, I think many of the prisoners realised Aang was the Avatar, having seen him airbending. He _was _the last Airbender, after all.

**29 th day of our journey. In spite of my fears, all has been quiet for past two days and we've travelled slowly Northwards, still keeping fairly close to the shoreline** **and camping in the deepest parts of the forest. **

It was on the second morning that I realised our last visit to the earth Kingdom village had left its mark.

I noticed something was wrong because Aang is an early riser and usually he's the first to get up at the break of dawn. This morning I already had the breakfast ready and he was still somewhere on Appa's saddle, asleep.

At my call he leaned over the saddle, looking bleary-eyed. There was no need for him to tell me he'd caught the vegetable merchants' cold for next instant, an explosive sneeze sent him skyrocketing upwards, the blast shooting the breakfast I had prepared all over Sokka, who was not amused.

I had forgotten that airbender's sneezes were so powerful – thinking about it, it was how I had first realised Aang was an airbender the day we found him in the Iceberg.

Aang had a cold. We braced ourselves for more sneezing.

My mother used to prepare a healing ointment made of blubber and Pepper-berries. The latter were plentiful around the forest, and Sokka had bought some salted blubber from Haru's village, for it lasts a long time and gives a Water tribe flavour to food. I offered to make some, but Aang was unconvinced.

'The monks used to let these things blow themselves out,' he said.

I think he was put off by the 'blubber-berry' paste as he called it: it _is_ a bit gross and the blubber is well …hunted ( though if its only _rubbed_ on the skin, it should be ok for a vegetarian, right?)

Anyhow, we set off on Appa again, but Aang couldn't take the reins as usual for he kept sneezing and shooting off into the air every few minutes. Sokka solved the problem by the simple addition of a rope around Aang's waist.

My brother took the reins instead and I sat down in the saddle near Aang, sewing Sokka's pants ( yes, _again!_ ) I couldn't help glancing every so often at the young Airbender. He looked rather miserable.

I put my sewing down and scooted over to his side, laying my hand on his forehead. He still felt cool and there was no sign of fever.

'I'm _fine_, Katara!' he said, a touch exasperatedly and sitting up straighter.

'Well, it seems to be a simple cold, Aang. But you're going to feel worse tonight. I wish you'd let me prepare that ointment. It'll do you a world of good.'

He tried to protest but another sneeze sent him flying off the saddle. I grabbed on to my sewing or Sokka's pants would've flown off into the valley below with the blast of air.

He airbended himself back onto the saddle, trying to look as though nothing was wrong. From his words, it seems to me as though the monks had a very Spartan, no-fuss approach to colds or other illnesses. Water Tribe ways are a bit more careful with colds – they can develop into something worse there and the cold climate can be unforgiving. I remember when Sokka or I were sick, the best part of the treatment – much better than the blubber paste - was the extra cuddles we used to get from Mom!

I glanced over at Aang, who was desperately trying not to sneeze again. As a small child he had had no mother to sooth him when sick. I felt a twinge of sadness. Could the monks ever have substituted what a mother is able to give? Monk Gyatso must have come closest to that, but, personally, I think nobody can really take a mother's place.

I myself had tried to do that for years, but it's just not the same thing.

Aang noticed me looking and smiled bravely, his eyes watering. I shook my head sadly and went back to my sewing.

We set up camp as usual in the thickest part of the forest we were flying over. Unfortunately we had hardly even set up a tent when Aang had one his gigantic sneezes again. Not being tied to any rope, he shot off staright through the forest canopy above us, hundreds of feet into the air.

It was getting worse.

I knew he could airbend himself back to safety, but what I didn't expect was him appear running fast, all signs of his cold gone in an adrenaline rush.

'Time to leave!' he said, picking up our scattered belonging s like a hurricane.

Seconds later I saw why.

Fire Nation scouts riding Komodo-rhinos appeared in the distance barging their way between the trees. They must have seen Aang.

We barely had time to gather our stuff. We just jumped on Appa and took off where the Fire Nation Soldiers could not follow.

'I wonder how they found us?' Aang asked innocently, but his face fell when we glared at him.

I decided then and there, that I would prepare the blubber-berry paste.

We've found another camping site and it is now very late, for I'm writing this by the light of the campfire under a starlit night. The sliver of a crescent moon is faintly revealing the invisible ink, but both my brother and Aang are not going to be bothered with what I'm writing: they're _both _sick.

As soon as we set down, Sokka had gone off looking for berries in the remaining twilight and I prepared the blubber. It took me only a few minutes to get the ointment ready, in the meantime, Sokka prepared some rope and wooden pegs while Aang looked on apprehensively.

'Lie down, Airboy!' Sokka said menacingly.

'What're you going to do?'

'I'm going to tie you down for the night.' Sokka replied, grimly 'I can't have you shooting up like a cork from a bottle every time you sneeze. It'll be raining fireballs on us otherwise.'

'Yes, Aang,' I said coming over with a bowl of the strong-smelling blubberberry paste 'It's for the best. Now take off you r shirt.'

'Wh – what?'

'The slime goes on your chest, my sneezy friend,' sokka explained, 'It'll clear up your nose in no time. It's so strong it'll burn its way right through your lungs. You won't even realise you're breathing!'

'Ugh!'

Aang made a face, looking doubtfully at the goo in the bowl, but he sat down and started to take off his shirt resignedly as Sokka started to peg down his feet. I felt sorry for him having to be trussed up like that, but there was nothing else for it.

'Sokka's exaggerating,' I said, as he shrugged out of his shirt.

'No, I'm not!'

'Yes, you are!'

'But he'd better slap that stuff on or I'll do it!' Sokka retorted grimly, as he hammered in another peg into the ground at Aang's feet.

'Never mind Sokka, Aang , _I'll _do it. I'll be gentle...' I knelt down next to him with the bowl of ointment.

But I felt his hands around the bowl, stopping me.

'It's ok, Katara. I...uh...I'll do it myself,' he said, looking uncomfortable.

I handed him the bowl and watched as he smeared his chest with it, wrinkling his nose at the strong smell. I wondered why he wouldn't let me help: he obviously didn't like the idea of the blubber and I was eager to make him feel better. I wanted to show him what it means to have someone care for you when you're sick: it's something that comes very naturally to me. But I guess he's just not used to that, or else he thinks he's too old to be babied that way. (Though I don't think age has anything to do with it: look at Sokka -when he's sick he expects me to wait on him hand and foot, and enjoys every minute of it!)

Speaking of which - Sokka started to sneeze, too, after supper, and I guess he's caught Aang's cold. He's covered himself in Blubber-berry paste and is now rolled up in his sleeping bag, sniffling gently to sleep. Thank goodness, we don't have to tie _him_ down.

Aang is asleep finally. He is propped up against a rock, a rope tied tightly round his chest and legs. The Blubber-berry paste is working its magic and he hasn't sneezed at all for the last hour. Better keep the ropes on just in case, though.

I had been waiting for him to doze off. I crept soundlessly to where he was lying. His head had slumped down rather awkwardly onto his shoulders, and his chest was still bare except for the ointment. He looked unusually child-like and vulnerable at that moment, for his face was still - there were none of the many expressions that usually animate his features when awake. He was very pale- paler than usual. I grabbed some of my bedding, made a small bundle, and slipped it under his head, noting at the same time how warm his skin felt. Probably a slight fever. I tried to be as gentle as I could, for I didn't want to disturb him, but when I threw a blanket around him, his eyes fluttered open.

I put my fingers to my lips, indicating he should go back to sleep again.

He blinked at me for a minute, uncomprehendingly. I thought he wouldn't appreciate me fussing, but then his expression changed to one of wonderment, and, with the merest flicker of a smile on his lips, he clutched the blanket I had placed round him and obediently closed his eyes.

I moved back to sit by the campfire and write in my scroll until he drifted off again. Sokka is definitely asleep, for I can hear his snores from over here. I guess I can go to sleep myself now, but I know I will sleep lightly tonight, in case they need anything.

I hope Aang knows that now.

**33 rd day of our journey. We are in Senlin village which is situated in a large forest. Although the Fire Nation soldiers have left this village largely alone, they have caused some incredible damage to the nearby Forest and large parts of it have been burnt to ashes. The village, however, is not without its own troubles. The village elders have asked the Avatar for help in getting rid of Hei Bai, an aggressive Forest Spirit who has been abducting their people at sunset and destroying their homes. The Avatar, as bridge between the two worlds, has agreed, but has been unable to stop Hei bai.**

**At sunset, the Spirit abducted Sokka, and the Avatar has left in pursuit. I am still anxiously awaiting their return. **

This morning there was glorious weather: both Aang and Sokka had recovered completely from their colds, and we were flying over beautiful, wide valleys between high hills. There were rivers reflecting the sun like shiny serpents, and fluffy, low-lying white clouds beneath us.

It was idyllic and hardly seemed like winter at all. Aang said that was because we were close to the equator and winters here are mild. We hadn't had any other encounter with Fire Nation scouts ( since Aang stopped sneezing, it's been easier to stay hidden) and up on Appa's saddle, far above the ground, it was easy to feel safe and ignore what trouble might lurk below.

Aang was back to his old self: risk-taking for the heck of it. I don't think he had given King Bumi's words about defeating the Fire Lord Ozai much thought. I guess it's so far in the future he's not really that worried about it now. I tend to think about it more often, but this particular morning, I was just enjoying the balmy weather and the landscape below and I admit any thoughts of the war were far from my head.

That didn't last long.

Aang had just jumped off Appa to explore a fluffy cloud Sokka and I were arguing about. Clouds being made of water, he returned drenched and it was then that I noticed it: a huge, black swath of ground that went for miles from the valley right up the side of a hill.

We landed there to see what had happened. Burnt, black tree stumps rose jaggedly through a layer of ash and all was quiet: no birdsong, no soft scurrying and rustling of tiny forest creatures: _nothing_. It was all dead.

Sokka found the footprints. Fire Nation soldiers!

I noticed Aang had become very quiet. I guess the sight of the scarred landscape would upset someone brought up by monks to respect all life – the wanton destruction upset me too, but his next words made me realise there was something more: he blamed himself for what happened, and I couldn't understand why.

'It's the Avatar's job to protect nature,' he said, as he knelt down sifting the grey ash sadly through his fingers, 'But I don't know how to do my job.'

I stared at him uncomprehendingly. We were going to the North Pole to learn, weren't we? To find a teacher.

'Yeah. A _waterbending _teacher. But there's no one who can teach me how to be the Avatar!' he replied a trifle sharply 'Monk Gyatso said that Avatar Roku would help me'

Sokka was sceptical as usual. Roku had died over a 100 years ago, but I thought differently.

'Well, Aang, it makes sense in a way. Avatar Roku was there just before the beginning of the war. He must've known what led to it! He definitely can help!'

'Didn't you hear me Katara?' Sokka cut in 'Roku is in the _Spirit_ world! There's no way you knock on _that _door and they'll let ya in! Assuming they even _have_ a door, that is…'

Aang didn't say anything. He sat looking dejectedly at the burnt ground before him, his mind far away.

That was the first hint of the problem I didn't even know existed. I just didn't think there was more to being the Avatar than learning to bend the four elements. I think I wasn't looking much beyond Aang and I learning waterbending at the North Pole.

It's only now, on the eve of the last day before the Winter Solstice, with both Sokka and Aang gone - into the spirit world for all I know - that I've become wiser.

I hated seeing Aang so sad and frustrated at not being able to save this part of the forest, but then I noticed the acorns Momo had dug up. They were buried in the ash. I had been through enough forests to know what they were: something we didn't have back home at the South Pole: something that I had only seen in pictures before. Only now, during my travels, I could finally see and hold these fascinating little things that would one day grow into young oak saplings and then into huge trees.

I placed an acorn in Aang's hand, showing him that life _will_ find a way, despite the charred evidence of death all around us. I think he understood what I meant for he smiled.

Then that the old man came upon us.

He was very, very old – old enough to recognise a flying bison and the markings that singled out Aang as an airbender: and the Avatar!

There was something about the old man that made me trust him. Perhaps it was his eagerness to find the Avatar and his simple faith, I don't know, but that is how the three of us ended up at Senlin village agreeing to help them get rid of the black-and-white spirit.

The village had already been partially destroyed , and we found most of the villagers were taking shelter in the village dojo. The village leader was very kind, and, I think, had it been under different circumstances, they would have treated Aang much like they had at Kyoshi, but the villagers were scared: many of the men had gone to war, and the remaining villagers were being abducted one be one every night. With the exception of the village leader, most people huddled in the building were old people or women with children.

I found their faith in the Avatar really heart-warming, though Aang somehow didn't seem all that flattered this time. If anything, he looked downright clueless, especially when their leader explained what happens between the Spirit and real world at the winter Solstice, which was close.

Aang's earlier frustration came to my mind, and I knew what he was thinking. I called him over, remarking that he seemed a bit unsure of all that.

'Yeah, that might be because I don't know anything at all about the Spirit World!' he snapped, 'It's not like there's someone to teach me this stuff!'

I was taken a bit aback by his sharp retort. He was right, of course. I hadn't realised there was so much more to being the Avatar, and I could have kicked myself for being so blind. Aang knew it was more complicated than just learning to bend the four elements, (though even he didn't know exactly what it entailed).

But now wasn't the time to be intimidated by the task, or to show hesitation. The village was in crises but their faith in the avatar was not. Now was the time to encourage Aang to be what these people knew he could be. To put it plainly: could he help these people?

And he answered as I knew he would.

The last rays of the dying sun painted the broken village houses a fiery red and cast a deep creeping shadow between them. The village Gates were already darkened by the shadow of the tall forest trees just beyond them. Only one lone figure stood facing the gates.

Aang looked so small compared to the dark menacing forest… and whatever lurked within.

My heart was in my mouth as I stood watching from the window of the central building. Sokka was uneasy and felt exactly like I did – Aang shouldn't have to face this alone! But the village elder kept saying only the Avatar could face Hei Bai…

And when Hei Bai finally appeared, larger than the biggest house, swifter than the wind and glared in black-and white fury at the village, my heart almost stopped. Sokka was restless – I could understand that. I felt helpless too.

And inadequate.

The old man kept insisting only the Avatar could bridge the gap to the Spirit world, and I didn't even understand what that meant. Only Aang, as Avatar, could figure out a way. I felt so ignorant and inadequate.

That's when Aang was sent crashing to the nearest rooftop by the enraged spirit and Sokka jumped out to help before anyone could stop him.

I rushed out after him, but was held back by the terrified villiager.

It was over in a second: Hei Bai snatched up my brother and took off towards the Forest. Aang opened his glider and disappeared after them.

I was left frozen in terror staring at the dark forest: I couldn't _believe_ what had just happened.

The villagers crowded around, but nobody said a word.

I picked up Sokka's boomerang from the ground, clutching it to me and walked towards the village gates, listening for any sound of battle or shouts for help, but there was nothing – _nothing_!

I don't know how long I stood there and it was only when I was convinced they weren't coming back any time soon that I sank to the ground. I still had Sokka's Boomerang. Aang had tried to stop Sokka from interfering. That monster has just abducted _my brother_! I would do anything to get him back. But perhaps Aang was right: Spirits cannot be fought the usual way. Not that I think I could have done anything to help…

The feeling of frustration and helplessness washed over me again: I can't fight! I can only bend water out of bowl! The few times I actually used bending in a fight or dangerous situation I acted instinctively. And though it worked, half the time I didn't really know what I was doing or what I _should_ be doing!

Unthinkingly, I put my hand to my neck seeking the solace of my mother's necklace, but it wasn't there, of course.

No wonder Aang was so upset earlier. I can understand him better now. It is so frustrating not to _know_ stuff! And he's miles better at bending than I am! Not only that, but I think the monks must have told him something about being the Avatar – or about the Spirirt world, for in spite of his declaration to the contrary, he seems to know more about it than I do.

I only hope he finds the way to get Hei Bai to release Sokka! I don't even _know_ where the Spirit has taken my brother! One of the women came earlier with my bag and a plate of food, but I'm not hungry. I've written down what has happened and I just hope this will not be my last entry. If they don't come back I don't know what I will do.

The forest is unmoved by my fears. Dark and ominous, the tall trees loom above my head, hiding the unknown.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

It's now morning. And I'm looking over at what I've written. I can't believe I was so down-hearted last night. Perhaps because it's the start of a new day, but I'm feeling much better even though there's no sign of Sokka or Aang. I stayed out here at the village gates all night – I don't know if I dosed off or not, but in the cold early hours before dawn I felt someone put a blanket around me. It was the frail old man who had found us in the burnt forest.

His kindness and simple faith in Aang put me to shame, for I knew, deep inside, that they were still out there somewhere, and they would come back. The sun's rays broke over us just then as the sun rose, and Appa came up to me, confused at the absence of his young master.

I stroked his thick soft fur, feeling strangely comforted, and tried to impart to him the confidence I was feeling that Aang would figure a way out and bring Sokka back – as well as himself. I led Appa inside the Village gates to feed him some hay. Later, I'll take him out to look for Aang and Sokka myself.

**34 th Day of our journey: The Avatar returned saying he had managed to slip over to the Spirit world, but he did not find my brother or the other villagers. At sunset however, he managed to appease the Forest Spirit Hei Bai , who released my brother and the other villagers.**

**When in the Spirit world, the Avatar learnt about a crescent-shaped island in the Fire Nation where he might be able to see Roku.**

I flew on Appa above the Forest, hoping against hope to see the vivid blue of Sokka's tunic contrasting with the dark green trees, or the bright saffron-and-red of Aang's but I saw nothing. It was late afternoon when I returned to the village.

I was less buoyant than I had been this morning, but I was still convinced both Aang and Sokka were fine. I would feel it if something had happened to them. In this strange, short day, when both Spirit and real world were fast approaching each other, I could feel a connection, somehow.

I saw Aang coming on his glider just as the sun was setting. With a heart-felt sigh of relief I ran to him and drew him into a tight hug as soon as he landed, but he was downcast. He hadn't found Sokka.

'I was in the spirit world, Katara,' he explained, 'but I didn't see Sokka. I saw Roku's dragon instead.'

'What?'

'His animal guide. It kinda ...spoke to me...without words. It touched my head and I knew what it meant. I rode it like Roku did, and it took me away.'

My eyes were getting rounder and rounder but before I could ask him how he'd managed to reach the spirit world the village elders crowded around us, for the sun was setting. Aang said he had seen none of their abducted relatives and then there was no time to talk any more for the last rays of the setting sun warned us that Hei Bai would soon appear.

Once again, it was Aang alone who stood facing the dark forest at the village gates. I watched anxiously from the window. If Hei Bai took Aang this time...

I pushed those thoughts from my mind as the sun had set, and even the half-light of twilight was fading fast.

This time Hei Bai attacked Aang right away. Aang reacted immediately encasing himself in a protective airball, but the enraged spirit screamed eerily, a white-blue glow coming from its mouth.

What surprised me was how calm and purposeful Aang seemed this time as he leapt off a roof and his hand made contact with the spirit's forehead. The same white-blue light glowed beneath his hand and the spirit grew still as they communicated silently. It seemed Aang had gained some insight into the Spirit world.

Was it like what Roku's dragon had done to him?

I don't know. The next thing I did know was that Aang was holding up the acorn I had thrown at him yesterday. Then it all became clear: the spirit of the Forest was upset because of the destruction humans had wrought on it. Aang remembered my words and gave the spirit hope that the forest would grow anew.

This appeased Hei Bai and he turned and left, changing into the gentler black-and-white form of a panda before fading away into the forest. Sokka and many other villagers appeared finally, released by the Spirit.

I hugged Sokka - I had never felt so glad to see my brother's face ! Looking around me everyone was embracing their loved ones, happy the ordeal was over. I could understand how they felt.

The villagers thanked Aang profoundly, and gladly agreed to give us supplies and money for our journey ( This last was Sokka's idea: I didn't like asking, because these poor villagers didn't have the unlimited resources of King Bumi, but they were glad to help).

I laid my hand on Aang's shoulder, to let him know how grateful I was for what he done and more than that, how proud I was that he'd figured things out by himself. Perhaps there are many more mysterious qualities and talents that an Avatar must possess, than we had first supposed, but I'm confident Aang is well on his way to learning them.

That's when he dropped his bombshell: he said he had to go and speak to Roku's spirit tomorrow on a temple on a crescent-shaped Island – an Island in the Fire Nation Territories!

'What?! No way, Aang!' Sokka shouted, 'we've just escaped that black-and-white demon spirit and you want to go sailing off to Fire Nation territory? That's crazy!'

Aang didn't answer, for some of the villagers came up to thank him then, but I could see the determination in his eyes. Sokka was ravenous and I followed him inside the main house to see if I could get him anything to eat, but I felt a bit uneasy. I've packed our stuff just in case, for although Aang hasn't mentioned going to that crescent-shaped island again, I can see he hasn't forgotten it. He explained briefly what happened in the spirit world and the vision of a comet he had when there, but his preoccupied expression as we lay down to sleep has me worried.

I'm scribbling this down hastily before I put out the lantern. The Winter Solstice is tomorrow and I don't think I'll be getting much sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/n This was supposed to be part of the previous chapter, but it got too long so I had to divide it.**_

**The Day of the Winter Solstice and the 33 rd day of our journey. We have been travelling since early morning across the waters from the Earth Kingdom to the Fire Nation island where the temple of Avatar Roku stands. When in the spirit world, the Avatar was granted a vision that can only be deciphered if he speaks to Roku here, during the Winter solstice, which is why we are flying west towards enemy territory. **

**We were followed by Zuko's ship and then ran into a blockade of Fire Nation ships. It was a close call, but we made it through and should now be approaching land soon. I hope we find the island because Appa is tired, but Aang has to push him a bit more if we have to make it to the island before sundown.**

I woke up in the early hours of the morning.

It wasn't a slow return to consciousness but a sudden transition into wide-awakefulness, sitting up in bed with a start and senses tingling with apprehension. All was dark and quiet, but my sixth sense told that something was amiss.

Then I noticed Aang wasn't there.

'Sokka! Sokka, wake up!' I whispered urgently. How long had Aang been gone? Was I too late? I felt a shiver of dread: I knew where Aang wanted to go!

a low rumble came from outside. Appa!

'Whassamatter?' Sokka said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, but I was already heading for the door.

'Today's the Winter Solstice and Aang's trying to sneak off to that Fire Nation Island!'

'What?!'

I heard him hurry up behind me and as we ran outside, I noticed the village elders were awake too. Appa's grumbling had woken them up.

In fact, Appa seemed unusually upset.

As we came out of the door into the village square, we heard Aang trying to persuade Appa to move.

'Look, I'm sorry' he was saying, 'but Katara and Sokka aren't coming to the Fire Nation with us. If they got hurt, I'd never forgive myself. So get your big butt off the ground and let's go!'

To my surprise, Appa remained stubbornly in one spot. In my heart, I couldn't thank him enough! Perhaps having spent a long time alone with me when Aang was gone made the great animal reluctant to leave me behind. Somehow Appa knew this was not just a brief early-morning jaunt, but potentially a one-way trip into enemy territory!

It was great of Aang to think about our safety and all, but why was he still insisting on going into the Fire Nation?! Because of some crazy vision seen through a dead dragon's eyes!? I had just spent a day and a night alone in this village, worried sick over where he and my brother had been taken! I wasn't about to let him disappear again!

'Please don't go, Aang. The world can't afford to lose you to the Fire Nation,' I felt the prickle of tears in my eyes, 'Neither can I.'

I meant it.

I did not EVER want be left behind again. Our little group would stay together.

But Aang was determined to go. I could see his trip to the Spirit world and the strange visions there had been important to him. We had to trust him. He _was_ the Avatar. So we told him we were coming too. I think he was secretly happy about it.

_I_ certainly am. Even facing the Fire Nation is not as scary as being left behind to wonder if Aang is safe.

We were soon on our way and left the earth kingdom coast as dawn was breaking. For several hours, we flew over a calm blue ocean, as Aang went into more detail what he'd seen in the spirit world.

'It was really cool riding a dragon – not as comfortable as riding Appa though. Fang's skin's hard and scaly, though smooth enough where you're supposed to sit, exactly behind his head.'

'All I saw was a strange monkey,' Sokka remarked, sourly. 'I don't think I like the spirit world! It was way too weird.'

'It's kind of the same as this world in many ways, but some things are just... different,' Aang tried to explain as he saw me looking on curiously.

'Yeah, like dragons who poke you with their feelers and give you visions of fiery comets – not to mention piggy-back rides onto volcanoes,' Sokka clearly wasn't too pleased with the idiosyncrasies of the Spirit world.

'The ride wasn't that bad – I guess I was lucky to ride a dragon. I had a friend of mine whose dream was to ride a dragon, but he never did.'

'You must've had some weird friends, Aang,' Sokka said.

For a minute, listening to Aang's strange adventure in the spirit world, I had forgotten we were flying towards the Fire Nation, but glancing at the rising sun, Aang urged Appa on faster and, with a twinge of apprehension, I remembered where we were going.

The strange thing was that it didn't look like we were going into enemy territory: the sea looked calm and blue and peaceful. I didn't know what to expect, and perhaps, part of my apprehension of the Fire Nation has more to do with the accumulated fears induced by childhood tales of the evil Firebenders and the hellish land they come from and the taboos and superstitions about the land that 'breathed fire'.

However, the sea did not remain peaceful for long. Looking over the saddle I noticed we were being followed by a Fire Nation ship: Zuko's ship!

A huge fireball came our way, leaving a stinking, black, sulphurous trail behind it.

Aang pulled Appa around avoiding it, but then we noticed the blockade.

There was no time to turn north and avoid it: we were going to run it! Adreneline rushed through my veins as Aang urged Appa forward. With Zuko behind us and the Fire Nation Navy before us, things were becoming hairy!

I held on tight to the side of the saddle as dozens of fireballs burnt their way through the clear blue skies towards us, and Appa twisted this way and that to avoid them. There wasn't much Sokka or I could do really: we held on for dear life, for I had never had such a rough ride on Appa before: he flew vertically; sideways, and even upside down to avoid the fire, and several times we had to lean over and put out small patches of fire on his coat.

But the worst fireball of all was when we approached the blockade at its closest point: they must have waited to launch that! It screamed towards us fire crackling viciously around it, and I knew there was no way Appa would avoid it on time!

Aang saved us: he launched himself off Appa's head attacking the fireball with an airbending move that blew it apart into a harmless smoke ring through which we passed safely. We caught Aang as he was slammed back onto Appa. We had made it through the blockade!

It's afternoon now and the sun's brightness is already mellowing into a softer shade as it sinks slowly into the horizon. Appa is still flying as fast as he can, but we have all fallen silent now, for the Winter Solstice is near. I can't help looking up from my scroll every few minutes to scan the horizon.

We've got to find that island soon, or it'll be too late.

**The Winter Solstice is now over and we are flying by the light of the full moon, on this, the longest night of the year, back towards the Earth Kingdom. We found the crescent- shaped volcanic island the Avatar had seen in his vision and inside the temple there we were assisted by one of the Fire sages, Shayu, who still remained loyal to Avatar Roku, to find the inner sanctuary and Roku's statue. The other Fire Sages have switched their allegiance to Fire Lord Ozai. Things got further complicated when Zuko, who must have followed us, joined the sages in trying to stop Aang from entering the sanctuary. But he managed to anyway. **

**Zuko wasn't the only one to follow us to the island. General Zhao appeared with a contingent of Fire Navy soldiers and declared he would wait for the Avatar to come out of the sealed sanctuary, and kill him.**

**When the Avatar did come out of the sanctuary, he had taken on the shape and spirit of Avatar Roku himself, for the lines between the spirit world and the real world are blurred at this time. Avatar Roku destroyed the temple and we escaped on Appa.**

**Aang has had some very disturbing news from his predecessor, Avatar Roku. It has all to do with Sozin's Comet. Fire lord Ozai intends to harness its power before summer's end to win the 100 year war. The Avatar must stop him before then or the world will never ever regain balance.**

It was perched on the black scorched earth of a volcanic peak. The volcano itself, an active one, was not too far away, on a higher peak, red-hot lava twisting its way down its side like fiery snakes from its caldera. It was very similar to the nightmarish descriptions of the Fire Nation we were frightened with as children. However, as with all such tales, actually facing these fears made them less frightening. |It was just a volcano island...

I thought the temple was abandoned at first, but I soon found out how wrong I was when the fire sages attacked us.

Once again it was Aang who fought back, sending the fire sages flying while we made a run for it. We pelteddown corridors and passageways, not sure where we were going when we were accosted by Shayu, the loyal Fire sage whose Grandfather knew Roku himself. Apparently, they had been warned of our arrival because of what happened at the Southern Air Temple: the Statue of Avatar Roku had started to glow here as it had there, signalling the return of the Avatar.

I could see that Aang was a bit upset to learn that the Fire Sages allegiance turned to Sozin when Roku died and the next Avatar failed to appear. They had lost hope he would ever return. I think Aang blamed himself, somehow, for that, but thank goodness, Shayu had his heart in the right place. He led us through a secret passage deep beneath the temple right by the underground lava-rivers and then up a spiralling stair case to the top of the temple where the Sanctuary and Avatar Roku's statue were located.

Only the doors – huge ones reminiscent of the ones at the Southern Air Temple – were locked!

'Only a fully-realized Avatar is powerful enough to open this door alone', Shayu explained, 'Otherwise the Sages must open the doors together with five simultaneous fire blasts'.

Aang wasn't a fully-realised Avatar and I thought our mission was doomed to failure when Sokka had an idea of using exploding lamp oil to open the door but even that failed, and a frustrated Aang started hurling air blasts uselessly at the door.

I grabbed his arm to stop him, even though I felt as frustrated and angry as he did. We had come so far only to be thwarted by a locked door. Then that I had the idea that we lure the other fire sages into thinking Aang was inside so that they'd open the door.

And it would've worked if Zuko hadn't intervened and captured Aang right at that minute. He had Aang's arms pinioned behind his back so he couldn't airbend. The tables were turned and Sokka, Shayu and I were chained to the nearest column.

However, nobody can hold Aang prisoner for long – not even the scar-faced Prince who's been dogging our footsteps since the South pole. _He_ should've known better, for Aang had escaped him then as he did now: moving too swiftly for him and jumping through to the closing doors of the sanctuary just in time.

As the door sealed itself once more (according to the Fire Sages : by Avatar Roku himself), I breathed a small sigh of relief. I couldn't see how we were going to get out of this mess but at least Aang was in safe hands in the sanctuary.

That's when a tall middle aged man came in at the head of a small contingent of soldiers. He was addressed as Commander Zhao by Zuko, and from their words, there was no love lost between the two. The only thing they had in common was a steely determination to be the first to lay their hands on Aang!

Zhao knew all he had to do was wait until Aang came out: he placed his soldiers in a line facing the door and told them to unleash all their firepower as soon as the door opened. I struggled futilely against my bindings- I had no idea what Aang was doing in there but I had to warn him somehow... if he came out now he'd be burnt right before my eyes!

When the door _did_ open the light blinded everyone. But it wasn't Aang: it was Avatar Roku! His spirit had crossed into our world, but I knew Aang was there somewhere. Zhao and his men sent fire blasts in the direction of Roku but he just bent it back easily towards them, increasing the power of the blast tenfold.

It melted our chains. I don't know how Roku did that: the chains grew red-hot and evaporated away, but we only felt a brief burning sensation then we were free of the chains. Roku was a fully-realised Avatar and it was an awe-inspiring sight to see!

And frightening.

He rent the floor of the temple and bent – actually _bent_ the lava form deep beneath the temple. Fire blasts followed Zhao's men as they ran for their lives. Smoke and debris from the cracking floor, as well as the heat and roar of flowing lava filled the air. I could see Roku's old, wrinkled, face set in grim lines as his hand called forth the destructive flow, and when his glowing eyes turned to the treacherous Fire Sages, they ran screaming form the place: they had a lot to answer for, and the deadly look in Roku's eyes was chilling!

But where was Aang? Was the Spirit of Roku acting through him somehow? I wasn't going to leave without him, even if that meant marching up to Roku and asking him for my friend back!

I didn't have to. Roku disappeared in a swirl of a burning ash cloud and when it cleared, Aang stood there. Not for long – I saw his eyes glowing faintly and Sokka and I hurried forward, for we knew what that meant by now. We caught him as he swayed and fell onto his knees, steadying him until he recovered.

We had to make it out of there quick, because the whole temple was shaking, there was smoke everywhere and loud crashes of falling masonry. Lava glowed red-hot, gushing from the lower levels and forcing its way through the temple, the heat of its close proximity searing our skin.

It was Appa who saved us: we fell onto the saddle just as the whole temple structure leaned over precariously before crashing to its fiery end.

We watched in silence the smoking ruins of the temple as the lava flowed from the promontory it had stood on and snaked its way down the black rock, coming to a hissing, steaming end in the sea where a large number of Fire Nation ships were anchored.

There would be no blockade to stop us now.

Finally, the island faded into the distance against the fiery backdrop of the western sky

'Hey, Aang, that was some amazing bending back there!' Sokka exclaimed, 'You looked like Roku, but that was you, right?'

'Hmm?'

Aang's eyes were still focused on the glowing spot that marked the island.

'You pulled red hot lava right through the temple!' Sokka continued, 'And you – or Roku – sent those Fire Sage traitors running! You should've seen their faces when Roku eyeballed them... but then , you _were_ there, as Roku... uh... right?'

'We were both there, yeah.' Aang spoke quietly, his eyes still fixed on the distant red spot.

'Aang? What is it?' I knew something was wrong.

There was almost a shocked look on his face, tinged with fear that I knew had nothing to do with our narrow escape.

He finally tore his eyes away from the island and looked at us uncertainly.

'Did you speak to Roku?' I prompted.

'What'd he say?' Sokka asked impatiently, 'Wait a minute – It's not good news, is it?'

Aang shook his head mutely.

'The Comet – Sozin's comet – approached earth a 100 years ago,' he said finally, 'The comet made the firebenders incredibly stronger. Sozin harnessed its powers to start the war!'

'So that's why the Airbenders were defeated...' I burst out before I could stop myself.

Aang's eyes flickered to mine and I saw the raw pain there even though it was only for a second. Had Roku told him that the Air Nomads were struck down first because the Firebenders were looking for him, the Avatar? Or had he figured that out by himself already?

Aang lowered his eyes and spoke again.

'The Comet's coming again' he said dully, 'Ozai is going to use its power to win the war Sozin started a hundred years ago.'

'And when's the comet coming, exactly?' Sokka asked, frowning.

'At the end of summer. Roku said I must destroy Ozai before the comet comes or not even an Avatar could restore balance to the world if Ozai succeeds.'

There was a complete silence as the meaning of his words sank in. Destroy Ozai by summer's end?! Aang was looking at his feet, his eyes still downcast. Sokka's mouth was open.

'But I thought the Avatar had to learn bending the other elements first, I thought that was what we're supposed to do first –'

'Yes, that too,' Aang cut across me, 'only I have to do it before summer's end!'

'But the legends say it takes years – '

'I _know_, Katara! It takes more than a decade to master all the other elements! So how on earth am I s'posed to do it in less than a year!?'

I stared at him in silence not knowing what to say. It was only yesterday that I realised there was more to being an Avatar than learning to master the four elements, but now, even bridging the gap between the spirit world and ours seemed a trivial matter compared to this. Mastering the elements in ten months was infinitely worse! It took me 14 years to just learn to bend water out of a bowl... I felt as though the world had slipped from beneath my feet.

Aang had resumed staring out into the distance, bowed down by the sudden serious turn of events. But even as I looked at his hunched shoulders, I knew that, in spite of his youth, in spite of the odds stacked against him, he would not give in. Aang was special – and not just because he was the Avatar! He was already a master airbender – he mastered that element years before the other airbender kids. That had to count for something didn't it? And, just like the fates had led us to find the boy in the Iceberg, that same fate would not abandon us now. It couldn't be otherwise.

'I'm sure you'll do it, Aang,' I said quietly, 'If there ever was any Avatar who can master the elements in that time, you're the one.'

He looked up at me then, the expression on his face unreadable.

'Roku said something to that effect – or rather, that I'd done it before, so I'll figure it out...somehow... maybe.'

I exchanged a look with Sokka as Aang shifted round in the saddle to gaze once more into the distance. My brother and I both know Aang needs us now.

Even the bright, burning speck of the volcano island had disappeared from the horizon and the last, warm glow of the set sun gave way to the darkness of the longest night of the year, as we flew slowly eastwards towards the Earth kingdom. The darkness was relieved by the light of a bright moon. Appa flew slowly, tired after the marathon flight and the earlier bombardment. Aang did not take the reins. He's leaving Appa to fly at his own pace, for the giant bison knows the way back.

Aang didn't say a word for a long time. None of us did, each busy with his or her own thoughts, but I think Aang's were the heaviest.

My heart went out to him as he sat with his back to us, hunched over in a corner of the saddle. The burden was heaviest on him. I knew I should be urging him to get some sleep, but I don't think any of us can do that yet. Even Sokka kept casting worried glances in Aang's direction, his brows creased in a frown.

I didn't know what I could do or say to make him feel better. Once again, the feelings of inadequacy poured over me. Certainly, I had no solutions to the sheer difficulty of the time scales he had to face. It's as though those 100 year are catching up on him now and he must somehow shrink the time to become a fully-realised Avatar in just under a year!

I knew I had to be there for him. I couldn't let him bear the burden alone. Perhaps that is what he was thinking now. Perhaps, like early this morning, he's thinking of trying to run away from us, so as not to endanger our lives! Can't he see it's far too late for that now? Our lives – _my_ life - has become hopelessly intertwined with his now, just like Gran Gran had predicted.

I had promised him, that day at the Southern Air Temple, that we are his family now. And though both me and my brother know now that our original simple plan to go to the North Pole has suddenly become a thousandfold more complicated and dangerous, there's no way I'm leaving Aang now.

And I think I can speak for my brother when I say that.

I went over to Aang, knelt by his side and put my arm around his shoulders.

'You're not in this alone,' I said, simply.

Aang looked up at me and the haunted, far-away look in his eyes changed subtly. He did not say anything, but there was a flicker of relief and gratitude on his face that he could not disguise. Sokka came over and wordlessly patted his shoulder. I felt Aang sitting up straighter, filled with renewed courage.

We were in this together.


	9. Chapter 9

**36 th** **day of our journey. Avatar Roku's news of the coming of the comet Sozin used to start the hundred year war means the Avatar must master all four elements by its return at the end of next summer, or Fire Lord Ozai will harness its power to destroy what he yet hasn't, and win this war. **

**Aang is anxious to start training immediately so I offered to teach him whatever Waterbending skills I know. He mastered in a few minutes what I took months, even years, to learn.**

**However, I acquired, from some pirates, a scroll containing instruction on waterbending forms. This scroll should be very useful to both of us, and will enable us to go beyond the basic moves that we know.**

That was what started it. My teaching Aang waterbending.

I'm so, so, SO ashamed of myself!

After Kyoshi, I promised myself I wouldn't quarrel with Aang again! And yet I did. I shouted some really horrible things at him, just because I was sore I wasn't up to his level of bending skill!

How could I be so _immature_?!

I mean – it's bad enough Aang has so much pressure on him. I should be _helping_ him, not creating this horrible bad feeling between us. It wasn't even an actual quarrel, for _I_ was the one doing all the shouting. Aang didn't say a word, but the look on his face….

And yet, even now as I'm writing this by the light of the campfire, my eyes keep wandering to Aang's bag. The Waterbending scroll is in there, full of the lost knowledge of the famous benders of Water Tribes… I gave it to Aang after what I did, because I'm determined it shouldn't happen again.

Sokka is already asleep, curled up in his sleeping bag, and Aang is next to him on a grass mat.

Well, at least he's managed to get to sleep. He was very agitated this morning, still thinking about Avatar Roku's words. After a brief stop so that Appa could recuperate from the night-long journey from the Fire Nation Island, we were flying above low-lying clouds through which many mountain peaks raised their craggy heads.

Sokka, who had Appa's reins, wasn't helping matters.

'You've pretty much mastered airbending, 'he said 'and that only took you 112 years... I'm sure you can master three more elements by next summer'.

Aang, who was pacing back and forth on the saddle, looked desperate. I grabbed his hand to calm him down, and that's when it occurred to me: I'd teach him waterbending. We were weeks away from the North Pole: there was time enough. I pulled him down beside me and held his hands, explaining my plan. If he learnt the basics, it might shave off weeks from the time he had to spend up North.

Aang cheered up almost immediately.

I noticed Aang has a huge capacity for optimism: as long as he has a focus on something to do, something positive, and he's completely undaunted by risks or difficulties: he jumps whole-heartedly into the task. Sokka should take a few pointers from him: my brother tends to be the one to find objections...

We found a good water source, following the delta of a wide, slow river upstream to a sheltered place where one of its tributaries formed a small waterfall that splashed into a wide pool.

Aang was back to his old self; he'd already stripped and was ready to start splashing and fooling about with Appa in the river, but I reminded him sternly what we were there for. Waterbending is something you have to concentrate upon, to get it right.

And concentrate he did.

In fact, it was slightly disconcerting.

He sat watching me, his gray eyes following my every move as I showed him the basic forms, a bemused expression on his face. Then I went to the waters' edge, demonstrating the fundamental push and pull of the water, following it with my body until the fluidity of the movement became one with the river, and a wave advanced and retreated beneath my hands.

Aang got up to try, and at first nothing happened. I was just going to tell him he'll get the hang of it eventually, but then a wave formed at the water's edge, advancing and retreating harmoniously, with perfectly executed bending moves.

I felt rather crestfallen. It had taken me months to learn that, and Aang's statement that I had had to figure it out all by myself wasn't much of a consolation.

Of course I had to figure it out all by myself – I was the only water bender in the Southern Water Tribe! But was I any good as a bender after all?

I had never thought much about it - I had had no-one to compare myself to. But as I taught Aang the next waterbending move, I started to seriously doubt my abilities.

Aang mastered streaming of water on the first try, and I watched flabbergasted as he gracefully bent a stream of water into different shapes – he was actually _playing _with it.

Looking at him, one would think he'd been doing that all his life!

Perhaps I wasn't such a great water-bender after all. Perhaps I shouldn't even be teaching Aang. My feelings of inadequacy translated into annoyance, and when Aang surpassed me in the last water-bending move I showed him, effortlessly producing a wave so huge it crashed over Appa and Sokka, sending all our supplies downstream, I called the lesson off. _My_ wave had collapsed after reaching only a few feet in height!

Anyway, we had to replace our supplies, so we followed the river downstream to a bustling, but shabby port town at its delta. There was a large, but seedy market place, that not only sold food but lots of bric-a -brac, junk, and some rather indescribable stuff. Small stalls displayed their unusual ware on both sides of the street and dirty water ran in a shallow gutter between, right down the middle of each street. Both merchants and townsfolk were a motley collection of men and women. There were so many strange people, Aang didn't even bother to wear a disguise. I could see the typical green and yellow clothes of Earth Kingdom subjects, as well as the red and black of Fire Nation. I even saw a few men wearing the blue of the Water tribes, but they weren't anybody I recognised. Others were dressed in a strange combination of those colours, as though they belonged everywhere and nowhere.

Like the Pirates.

Aang was lured on board to view the 'curios' they had for sale. He had already spent one of the few copper coins left over from what King Bumi had given us on a Bison Whistle, so I was safeguarding our last two copper pieces.

The pirates had an incredible collection on board their ship: a mix of the rare and the weird. I was fascinated, but then I saw something that had me transfixed: a waterbendiing scroll!

I opened it. It had waterbending forms: beautiful illustrations of the moves and details I had never even imagined! I knew without doubt that it was a rare manuscript. I wanted it, but the Pirate captain said he already had a buyer, and Aang's attempts at haggling with our two copper pieces was not going well (I think Aang hasn't realised that things have become far more expensive over the last 100 years, and besides, this scroll really _is_ precious). I knew the Captain was not going to give up something like that: it was an old watertribe scroll and priceless.

So I took it.

I couldn't let something so precious be lost to our culture. It belonged to waterbenders, and didn't deserve to go the same way as the rest of the pirate's stolen junk! Nobody noticed me slipping it into my sleeve. I ushered Sokka and Aang out as quick as I could, but It wasn't long before the pirates found out. We were pursued through the streets of the port town and we only barely escaped from a blind alley by hanging on to Aang's glider as he flew us out of there.

As soon as we landed back at camp I told them what I'd done. Sokka was mad at me for putting us at risk, and I suppose he had a point, but he's the one always teasing me about how I'm always walking the straight and narrow! Well, for a change ( and for a _good_ cause) I thought I'd try my hand at 'high risk trading' also known as 'sticky fingers'. Aang found it funny, but Sokka wasn't amused.

However, I didn't care. I was dying to try it out.

Aang held the scroll up and Sokka sat looking on with a scowl on his face, while I tried the Single Water Whip. It wasn't as easy as it looked on the scroll and I managed to lash myself right between the eyes first time. The sharp pain of the water whip was bad enough, but Sokka further irritated me by implying I wanted to teach only myself.

That wasn't true.

Not entirely, anyway.

I just wanted to learn, but the stupid water whip was just NOT happening the way it should.

'Why can't I get this stupid move?' I cried, frustration and temper rising, as my second attempt, inelegant and messy, also went awry, and hit Momo.

'You'll get it!' Aang said.

It wasn't only what seemed to me the unnecessarily patronising tone, but Aang went to the water's edge and executed a perfect example of a Single Water Whip, a smooth stream of water bending in perfect harmony with his graceful movements, explaining, as he directed the water whip elegantly over the water, how your weight had to shift through the stances...

As though I knew anything about '_stances_'! As though I knew anything about _anything!_ I was so infuriated – at Aang, at myself - that I just lashed out.

I yelled at Aang to shut up. I shouted other things.

'Believe it or not, your infinite wisdom gets a little old sometimes,' I yelled. 'Why don't we just throw the scroll away since you're so naturally _gifted_!' I went on, sarcastically.

I think I would have gone on in the same vein, but I glimpsed Sokka's scowling face.

'What?!' I exclaimed belligerently, the scowl on my face matching his.

Sokka did not say anything. I looked round to where Aang still stood in shocked silence. The look on his face brought me to my senses. It was clear from his face that he had never expected this. And he was right! I should never have said that! It was glaringly obvious that I was acting like a sulky, immature, idiot!

'Omigosh, Aang, I'm so sorry,' I said, hanging my head in shame 'I don't know what came over me'.

Then I rolled up the scroll and gave it to him, saying I did not want anything more to do with it. I can't risk that happening again. How could I have behaved so childishly?! I even apologised to Momo, but deep inside, I was still in turmoil.

I went for a short walk in the forest to calm myself down, but the sun was already dipping in the sky and I needed to get the evening meal ready. Grabbing a pot from out bags, I made my way to the river. I could see Sokka in the distance, a tiny figure in blue, fishing. There was no sign of Aang.

I sat down on a rock by the water's edge, the pot at my side and an uncomfortable weight on my chest.

Aang said it was ok, but it wasn't. I'd yelled worse things at Sokka a million times before, but it never made me feel this bad. I hope Aang'll forgive and forget the horrible scene I made.

I think he will – he seems to be the type of person not to hold a grudge.

And that wasn't the only thing that was bothering me -it wasn't just a bruised ego: my self-confidence had taken a battering, and the feeling of inadequacy that had been gnawing at me since I started to teach Aang this morning, washed over me.

I always knew I had a lot to learn before I could master waterbending, but still, waterbending is what set me apart from everyone else back home, and I had dreams and hopes that one day I could use my skills to fight in this war and to somehow help rebuild the Southern Water Tribe to what it once was.

Ever since we left home I could see what a master bender can do: Aang is only twelve and yet, most times, he has been the one to save us from sticky situations: at Senlin; Roku's temple; Omashu ( though I guess that was just Bumi 'messing with people') and even this morning, from the pirates – and not because he's the Avatar, but many times, simply because he's the master of his element.

I had always stood by, doing nothing much in the way of waterbending to help save the situation. That didn't get me down – and I'm VASTLY grateful Aang saved our skins on all those occasions – but there has always been the thought, at the back of my mind, that one day I will be good enough at waterbending to make a _difference_.

Now, I'm not so sure.

It seems quite apparent that my skills are indifferent or poor; that I don't have what it takes to become a Master Waterbender, or even a good waterbender.

I paddled my hands in the water, the pot lying forgotten by my side. I don't think I have actually any clear idea how to go about making those half-formed dreams and ambitions that have been whirling about in my head for so long come true. In fact, I haven't even written about them in this scroll, but I always knew I wanted to be _useful_ to the war effort. At that moment, however, I felt as though a good part of my dreams were flowing away on the river water, and I'd never see them again.

I saw a flicker of saffron from the corner of my eyes and glanced up as Aang appeared out of the dark line of trees that lined the river banks.

He made his way towards me and I bit my lip. I was still feeling bad about my earlier outburst: if Aang was the better waterbender, I shouldn't have taken out my frustration about my own inadequacies on him! I should be glad, for his sake.

I tried to smile in greeting, but it just wouldn't come. Shame, mixed with that persistent, niggling feeling of uselessness, kept my head lowered. Aang sat down on a rock by my side.

I remembered I had come to the river to fill the pot. I got up, grabbed its handle and, after a moments' hesitation, plunged it into the clear river-water, filling it up by hand.

I didn't feel like using bending.

Aang watched me in silence for a few moments, then:

'Are you still mad at me, Katara?'

I looked up then, placing the pot between us. Aang seemed anxious. Perhaps he had been looking for me in the forest. I knew he felt as bad about this as I did. Guilt was added to the turmoil of my emotions.

'Perhaps I'm mad at myself, Aang, I – '

'Because I should've realised,' he continued, speaking quickly, 'that it'd upset you, but I got carried away 'cos waterbending's so cool! I didn't _think_!'

His brow was furrowed and I looked at him in surprise. Was he apologising for something _I'd _done?! Of the two of us, he was being way more mature about this than I was, and I'm supposed to be the older one.

I sat down by his side and smiled at him warmly. He had come to look for me and I wasn't going to let him feel bad about what happened. I owe it to Aang

'Aang, you're the only other person I've ever seen waterbending in my life,' I said, placing my hand on his arm and squeezing it, 'and you're way better than me.'

There - I'd swallowed my pride and said it, looking straight into his eyes, so that he knew I meant it. He started to shake his head, but I continued:

'I don't know what the key to bending is, I don't know anything about stances, or –'

'Whereas I've been studying that stuff since before I could walk! It makes a world of a difference!'

'How old where you when you got your arrows, Aang?'

'Uh... ten. Why?'

'You mentioned you were youngest to get them. You said to become an Airbending Master you had to master 35 levels –'

'Thirty-six.'

'Exactly. Thirty six. How long did the other monks take to master those thirty-six levels?'

'Dunno. I guess most of them earned their arrows by the time they were twenty.'

'You see? At ten you were better than your own teachers, Aang! You _know_ you're a great bender, but what if I'm not?'

Aang's eyes widened in comprehension as he realised what I was driving at. Actually, I hadn't wanted to say anything, especially to Aang. It still hurt a bit that he was so much better. So why was I spilling out my fears to him like this? I lowered my eyes, feeling a flush of shame rise on my face. But it was as though I couldn't stop myself...

'What if I'm just a mediocre bender, only good enough to bend water into a cooking pot?' I said, trying (but failing) to keep my voice from quivering. 'I don't want that, Aang! I'd rather not bend at all, than fail at it!'

'Katara! You can't mean that!' Aang's eyes were round with shock 'You said yourself bending is what makes you who you are - !'

'Well, perhaps, right now, I'm having a bit of trouble knowing who or _what_ I am! I only know what I _should_ be. I know it's more important for _you_ to learn – you're the avatar, and with the comet coming, the pressure's on... but I, too, want to do so much more in this war – for many reasons - and Waterbending's all I have !'

'Look – d'you think I would've been any better at airbending, had I been raised among non-benders lie you? The Monks pushed me to learn new bending moves ever since I was little, so it's easy. Besides, I can tell you're a natural at waterbending, Katara'

'You can?'

He nodded. 'You showed me that basic concept. It's the key to bending, as I was telling you when-'

'When I jumped down your throat,' I supplied, shamefacedly.

'The key to bending is learning the first step. Monk Gyatso used to say that the first step in bending is crucial in understanding your element. Then the rest comes much easier. Those that don't get that first step will be stuck, or have sloppy bending at best.'

'But I didn't even get the water whip –'

'It was through you I learnt the feel of the ebb and flow of water, and you did it perfectly and you learnt all by yourself, You gotta be good to do that!'

I gave a shaky laugh. 'Thanks for trying to make me feel better, Aang. I don't deserve it. I was completely out of line all day, especially with you.'

'But I haven't made you feel better, have I?'

'A million times better,' I said with a smile, 'I'm honoured to have taught you those first steps, if you say they're so important.'

I meant it. I _did _feel better. I believed what he said - after all, he had the experience and vast knowledge of the monks behind him ( the 'infinite wisdom' I had made fun of, earlier) and was definitely in a better position to learn new moves than I was.

Perhaps I wasn't so bad after all. I suppose only time will tell.

'Are you guys ready to eat yet?' Sokka came towards us, a fishing line in one hand and a large fish in the other, 'Look what I got!'

He held up his catch with a big grin on his face.

'Nice one Sokka!' I got up as Sokka went to the water's edge to clean the fish, and grabbed the heavy, water- filled pot.

'It's ok, Katara, I'll carry that.'

Aang took the cooking pot from my hands with a smile and walked ahead to the camp fire. A small gesture that he'd done many times before, but it made me feel strangely warm inside. Perhaps because it reminded me of one similar occasion on Kyoshi, when he hadn't wanted to help me carry my load, and how much he'd moved on from there.

It also reminded me that I was bound to move on, too. Firstly, I'll never ever let my envy of Aang's skills ever get between us again and secondly, I need to find out if I'm as good at waterbending as Aang thinks I might be.

And I don't want to wait until we're at the North Pole to find out.

I want to find out NOW. I can't let the idea go, or wait and see if time will tell.

That is why I have decided to take the Waterbending Scroll tonight and use it.

I don't think I planned to do that when I started writing this as soon as Sokka and Aang had lain down to sleep, but as I wrote down today's events, especially my talk with Aang at sundown, I can see that the only way I can find some peace of mind, is to find out if I can learn what Aang can already do. If I'm not so good at learning new moves, then it means I need more time to practise. And night is the perfect time.

I want to find out if I'm good enough. Besides, if I'm able to get up to Aang's level, or more, than that can only be good for us as a group, right? I can contribute more if we ever tangle up with Fire Nation soldiers again.

The night is quiet, broken only by the rushing sound of the river and the occasional call of a night bird. The moon is visible behind scudding clouds and I feel awake, excited and ready for some real bending.

**37 th day of our journey. Sunset. Last night, the Pirates, determined to get the Waterbending scroll back, found our campsite. They were accompanied by Prince Zuko and his men. They captured and bound all three of us, but a disagreement between the them ended up in a fight between the Pirates and the Fire Nation soldiers, so that in the general confusion, we managed to escape down river on the Pirate's ship. **

**We were pursued, and attacked by the pirates, who had commandeered Zuko's ship. In the end, it was Appa who flew to the rescue, as both vessels ended up plunging down a waterfall.**

I had been bending for what seemed like hours, trying to remember what Aang had said about the stances, but still the Single Water Whip wouldn't come. The frustrations of earlier that day came back again. But I was too far away from our camp to wake up the boys with my exasperated mutterings and splashes.

It did, however, attract someone else's attention.

I heard the grind of metal and saw with horror a Fire Navy boat at the river's edge. I recognised that boat: Zuko!

As I turned to run to warn Sokka and Aang I ran straight into the waiting arms of one of the pirates that had attacked us that day.

That's when the Single Water Whip came. Perhaps under duress, or when I act instinctively, I bend water better. I managed to break free but it was from the frying pan into the fire, for I ran straight into Prince Zuko. He grabbed my hands in a vice-like grip so I couldn't bend, and very soon I was tied to a tree, surrounded by Pirates and Zuko and his men.

I figured out what had happened pretty quickly. The Pirates wanted the scroll back and somehow Zuko had found out they were after us. The Pirates were bad enough, but _Zuko._..

That scar-faced teenager was obsessed with capturing Aang, and his dogged persistence had paid off.

And it was all my fault!

I was devastated, but I wasn't going to tell them where our camp was.

Then Zuko showed me my mother's necklace.

'I need to capture him to restore something I've lost - my honor,' he said, his face inches away from mine 'Perhaps in exchange I can restore something you've lost'

I couldn't help it. I cried out when I saw what he was holding under my nose. I thought I had lost it forever! Obviously he knew, then, exactly what the necklace meant for me. I could see the moonlight glint steely and cold in his one good eye, and the reddened, twisted, flesh of the scar had reduced the other to a near-slit, through which I could see a barely-controlled anger shine through . Up close, Zuko was even more terrifying than I remembered. But at that moment, all I could feel was outrage at what he suggested. How could he even think I would betray my friends for a necklace? Even one with sentimental value.

But then, perhaps this banished Prince did not place much value on friendship. The look in his eyes told me that. His honor seemed by far the most important thing in his life.

Unfortunately he had got hold of my scroll and used it to coerce the Pirates to search the woods for Aang and Sokka.

It was at the break of dawn that they found them. I saw the pirates coming towards us, Aang and Sokka securely bound between them. I felt terrible: we were in this mess because of me!

Aang tried to reassure me, but even Iroh, Zuko's Uncle, pointed out it was my fault.

Now I was being lectured by a Fire Nation Soldier! Well, I deserved it. I couldn't have felt any worse.

That's when Sokka had a suicidal idea of turning the Pirates against Zuko. They were to exchange Aang for the scroll, and Sokka just pointed out the imbalance in value.

They were soon at each other's throats.

Zuko attacked first and the pirates launched smoke bombs to divert pursuit, only it turned into utter chaos. I heard the blast of fireball attacks, the clash of swords, and the coughing of the soldiers lost in the smoke screen.

Then I felt Momo bite through my bindings. I was free! Aang and Sokka were shouting to one another, so I knew they were fine, but I also knew we had to get away: there were just too many of them to fight. Then I remembered the Pirates boat: we could get away on that.

It was beached on the river's edge and nothing could budge it, but to my relief, Sokka and Aang joined me a minute later, though we couldn't move it, even with our combined effort.

'We need a team of rhinos to budge this ship.' Sokka said.

'A team of rhinos...' Aang retorted, 'or two waterbenders.'

He looked at me when he said this, and I knew what he meant. I felt a lump in my throat.

I _was _a waterbender. We both were.

We raised our hands, feeling the ebb and flow of the water beneath the boat, and then, moving in simple harmony with the river, we pulled the water beneath the prow of the pirate's ship. I had never done waterbending with anyone before, but Aang and I fell into an easy synchronicity, our movements calling the river water forth.

Soon the ship was afloat and we jumped in.

Unfortunately, we were followed by the pirates in Zuko's ship, and we were soon boarded. Aang confidently bent a huge wave of water across the deck sweeping away the attacking pirate: that was what I always wanted to do: use waterbending in a fight. For a moment yesterdays' insecurities took hold, and I hesitated, but then I remembered Aang's words. I was a waterbender, and I must move on – the pirates were attacking us - and Aang was their prize!

The need for action electrified me, and I streamed the water in a perfect Single Water whip, smacking the oncoming pirate sharply over the head and overboard. I had done it!

'Hey, you did the water whip!' Aang shouted from on top of the cabin.

'I couldn't have done it without your help!' I replied.

But there was no time to be happy about that, for the ship was heading straight for a waterfall. However, now I was brimful of confidence and I knew we could bend the water beneath the ship to stop it. Yesterday I would never have imagined I could do anything like that, but it was like something had opened up inside of me: I knew we could do it_. Together_.

Slipping once more into the waterbending form, we moved back and forth in effortless synchronicity, pushing and pulling the water beneath the ship, feeling its powerful, deep, inexorably-moving current strain against us and then fluidly harnessing its vast power to turn it back on itself so that it slowed down and stopped.

What we hadn't bargained for was Zuko's ship with the rest of the pirates aboard. Caught by the currents of the waterfall it rammed right into our starboard side and its momentum carried both our vessels over the edge of the waterfall.

We yelled as we were flung out and over the edge: it was a huge drop and the foamy water at the bottom could be hiding deadly rocks, but suddenly Appa appeared out of the blue and we landed heavily on his saddle.

'So you were calling Appa when you blew that thing?' Sokka said, indicating the bison-shaped whistle Aang held in his hand, after we had put some distance between the river and ourselves, 'I thought it was broken.'

'Nah. It's kinda high-pitched, so you don't hear it, but Appa does. We used these things to herd the bison.'

'Dunno how you managed to find it, then. That thing's a relic!' Sokka remarked.

I saw Aang frown at the whistle in his hands. I don't think he had thought about that.

'Well then,' I said, 'Probably that's why they let you have it for a copper piece then, They thought it was broken, and didn't realise it's a 100-year old relic. '

Aang smiled 'I knew a bison whistle would come in handy. Thanks, Appa'

I still owed Aang an apology. I had taken the scroll out of his bag last night and I realise now, that I had wanted to find out if I were good at waterbending out of competitiveness, too. I had put us all in danger.

I was just saying that we didn't need that stupid scroll anyway when Sokka whipped it out right in front of my nose.

I was elated! Now Aang and I can practise some serious moves. And I'd be humble enough to accept his help, this time. We'll work together like we had on the Pirate ship: we accomplished great things then! The scroll turning up again was a bit like my mother's necklace turning up. It was a good sign!

True, the necklace is in Zuko's possession, but even that's better than it being lost forever: at least I knew where it was. And with Zuko's dogged persistence in capturing Aang, I know we'll come across him – and the necklace – again. Perhaps I'll find a way of getting it back again.

And there was something else I was missing now.

'We have to go back to our campsite,' I told Sokka 'We left our stuff there'

'What? I'm not going back-'

'The pirates are stuck at the bottom of a waterfall, and Zuko's lost his ship. We'll be fine. And we need those last provisions we bought or we'll go hungry.'

I knew that would strike a cord with Sokka.

'Ok, then,' he agreed grudgingly 'But we'll have to make it quick. Zuko's soldiers might still be around.'

What I really wanted to go back for, was for another precious scroll: my own.

Thankfully, everything was as we had left it and we managed to pick everything up in five minutes flat. We're flying north now, high above some low-lying clouds. There are no mountain peaks pushing through the whiteness, and the land is fairly flat but densely forested. Sokka has the reins now and though I've offered Aang to keep the waterbending scroll, he shook his head:

'No, I'd rather not. You go ahead and keep the scroll, Katara.'

He trusts me. And I will never, _ever_, let waterbending come between us like that again. If anything, I'll make sure that waterbending is something that'll make us stronger. I think it will. Earlier, on that ship, when Aang and I were waterbending together, moving as one with the water, I got the heady feeling that there, by the Avatar's side, my bending was powerful and unstoppable, that _we_ were unstoppable. It was a wonderful feeling.

So, as soon as I finish writing this I'm going to take out that waterbending scroll and study some of the forms. Hopefully, we'll find another place close to the water and we'll begin practising. The frustration and doubts of yesterday have all vanished, and I feel ready to begin anew.


	10. Chapter 10

**40 th day of our journey. We have left the mountainous coastline and are travelling due north. The landscape has changed to forest-covered low hills and valleys. The Avatar and I have continued to learn the skills of waterbending from the scroll we took from the pirates, but there have been several distractions along the way.**

What I wrote above isn't really true.

About Aang, I mean. He isn't really so focussed on learning the waterbending forms. He always finds some excuse and goes off.

Today it's Hogmonkeys. The forests here are full of the barking, noisy animals. And Aang said he just _had_ to ride them again. Well, ride them he did and _boy_, wasn't that a rodeo! He had once mentioned that Hogmonkeys are rather reluctant about being ridden.

Reluctant is an understatement.

If he hadn't been an airbender and able to cushion his falls, he'd be in pieces by now.

As for me, I'm making slow but steady progress at waterbending, in spite of Aang's distractedness.

Not that he doesn't tell me if I ask him something. (Oh yes: I _do_ ask him – humbly. I'm not falling into that silly, competitive game again.) Aang explains what the drawings mean, when they're not clear, and demonstrates the moves they're trying to depict, when I can't understand.

'You really get this stuff immediately,' I said, ruefully after he had explained one of the more obscure stances I had pointed out on the Waterbending Scroll.

'Well, yeah: if you spend hours and hours staring at airbending scrolls for homework, you kinda get used to seeing what they mean.'

'You're lucky to have had that chance, Aang.'

'There were plenty of times when I didn't think so, ' he said with a wry grin, 'especially when my friend Jin Ju and I accidentally dropped ink on one of the old scrolls and Monk Tashi made us copy the whole thing by hand. It took _days_! I would've much rather spent the time with the air scouts ...'

'Are you two still studying fancy splashes?' Sokka came up behind us holding up the days catch: two large birds and a bagful of lychees, 'I thought I'd find the fire ready.'

'It'll only take a minute, Sokka' I said, rolling up the scroll irritably.

It wasn't even close to midday.

'Don't worry. I'll do it.' Aang got up.

'Don't get waylaid by the Hogmonkeys again!' Sokka shouted after him 'Oh, and I've ripped my sleeve again, Katara.'

'Give it here,'I sighed, 'And I'll see what I can do. Can't you be more careful? Aang never tears his clothes.'

I grudged every extra chore I had to do -it took time off from my practising.

'Aang doesn't _hunt,_' my brother retorted, 'And those birds had some pretty long claws, you know.'

I had no answer to that. Actually, I had often wondered why Aang wasn't more squeamish about the kills Sokka got back from hunting trips (when he was able to). I knew enough from the history of the Air Nomads to know they had a philosophy of respecting all life, and I was slowly realising how this philosophy affected the way the young Airbender lived: from the way he used his bending in a fight, to his love of animals. And though he was adamantly a vegetarian, yet he was strangely matter-of-fact about our Water Tribe culture of hunting and fishing. I guess that accepting other peoples' differences comes from being a well-travelled Air Nomad.

'Anyway, tomorrow we'll be going further inland,' Sokka said, his voice muffled as he slipped out his tunic, 'There won't be any large rivers there, so say goodbye to your tidal wave splashes.'

'Actually, I wanted to speak to you about that, Sokka. The waterbending scroll suggests a waterbender should always have a steady supply of water. This afternoon I'm going to that small town we saw earlier to buy a waterskin. A special one like I've seen at that seedy market town where the pirates were.'

'You can't do that. You don't have any money!'

'I'll trade for one of those birds ya got.'

'What? _I_ caught them!'

'Even _you_ can't eat both of them, Sokka - they're huge!'

'But…'

He searched for some other objection, but his shoulders slumped and he gave up.

'The things I have to do so that you can play around and have fun!'

'I'm NOT playing around! 'I retorted immediately, incensed at his words 'Waterbending's serious stuff, and-'

'What about that other scroll, then? You're always writing away in that when you could be doing something useful!'

'I write only when there's nothing to do!' I yelled 'You're usually snoring away when I'm writing.'

Aang looked up from the fire at the sound of our raised voices.

'That's 'cause you don't want to _show_ me what you're writing,' my brother retorted with a sly grin, 'I betcha it's about _boys_!'

'Boys?! What _boys?_!'

He looked at me for a second with a sly look on his face. Even Aang was staring at me from near the fire. Though my writing is nothing of the sort, I felt my cheeks start to redden.

'Nah – it couldn't be that,' my brother said after a while, 'You're too young for that sort of thing. Not to mention you're my little sister, and –'

He stopped, for he saw the murderous look on my face. Who does Sokka think _he_ is? The world's greatest lover?

'I told you it's a _journal_,' I said, through clenched teeth, trying to keep my temper in check 'like a ship's log, of where we went and –'

'Yeah, yeah,' Sokka waved his hand dismissively 'That's what you would have us believe. But we know different, don't we, Aang?'

And he winked in Aang's direction.

'Uh….we do?' Aang shook his head.

Clearly, this was all in Sokka's head.

''Ship's log'huh?' Sokka leaned over and made a silly face, 'Betchya it's a luuurv story you're writing! Betchya it's all kisses and sighs and –'

'Don't be ridiculous, Sokka, it's nothing like that! I'm just …describing the landscape in detail.'

'Describing the landscape in detail…' Sokka repeated in a deadpan voice, 'I see.'

To my dismay I could feel my face flush redder.

'Anyway, what's it to you, what I write? You're just curious, and it's none of your business, really!'

I was angry with myself for feeling so flustered. Aang wouldn't stop staring and Sokka was grinning broadly, enjoying my discomfort:

'So who's the hero of your tale? That Haru guy? You went for a walk with him…'

'So what?! Can't I _walk_ with anyone now?'

Aang was frowning, but Sokka started making kissing noises. That was it: I bent the water from the cooking pot in a glistening ball over his head.

'Shut up, Sokka! Or you're gonna get your bath early today! You're so – _ugh_!'

Sokka backed off ( the cooking water was full of onions) but I was close to dousing him with that water! Serves him right. He should keep his nose out of my business and my diary – I mean, _journal._

In the afternoon, I went to the small town we'd seen on our way and traded the game bird for a large water-skin. It's made from Tiger-seal skin and has the distinctive stripes across its width. It's slung around the shoulders and fits snugly around your waist. It looks very much like the diagram I found in the waterbending scroll.

Late afternoon I practised using it with Aang's help. In a place where there is no readily available water, I need to carry it with me and I need to be able to have access to it quickly and smoothly. Besides these last four days we've seen signs of Fire Nation soldiers in the woods. If we have another close encounter, I want to be ready.

I bent the water out of the skin towards Aang and he caught it deftly and bended it right back at me, so that I could replace it back in the skin. There were a few accidents, and both Aang and myself got drenched, but I soon mastered the technique.

We practised some more waterbending until the lengthening shadows of the trees in the clearing indicated the end of another short, winter day and Aang said he had to go and see to Appa and left.

I continued with the waterbending, however. I would have liked Aang to stay practising with me. He's still quicker at learning than I am, yet I pick things up better when I'm with him. He hasn't shown any interest in showing off any more flamboyant moves, and in fact, he seems a bit either disinterested or reluctant to waterbend. I'm wondering whether what happened last time with the waterbending scroll has anything to do with it. Perhaps he thinks I'll yell at him again, if he does better at waterbending than me. I hope not - I'm over that now.

Looking at him frolicking around with the Hogmonkeys I would say he's just distracted, I can't imagine he could be so deceptively wise.

Or could he?

Well, to tell the truth, this whole forest has us all distracted to some degree. Aang with the fauna, Sokka with the hunting, which he says is good, and as for me – well, I think this is an enchanting place. It is not the tall dark green conifers we've seen near the mountains. The trees are beautiful red and gold: there's hardly any green. Aang says Autumn lasts well into winter in this part of the world.

I suppose I've let this beautiful forest lull me into a sense of unreality too. Sometimes I forget the urgency of Roku's words and the coming of the comet. After all, Aang _did_ learn the basics of waterbending pretty fast (though he still has to learn to change its form to ice): if he learns the other two elements just as fast, I think he'll actually make it way before next summer.

Aang himself has alternated between bouts of boisterous clowning around and bouts of seriousness, when I catch him gazing blankly into the blue, his mind probably going over the challenges that lay ahead.

However the latter are becoming more infrequent as the magic of this red forest settles on us.

I'd better stop writing now. Sokka is looking at me out of his sleeping bag with a smirk and an 'I-know-what-you're-doing-look' on his face.

**41 st day of our journey. This morning we accidentally came upon an encampment of Fire Nation soldiers. We were saved by a group of young fighters called the Freedom Fighters. Their leader, Jet, displayed a formidable use of double hooked swords and almost single-handedly took down half the soldiers. He also demonstrated great hospitality by inviting us to his treetop hideout, where we are spending the night. The Freedom Fighters are doing their best to save a nearby Earth Kingdom town of GaiPan from Fire Nation rule.**

It all started out with a quarrel about who's gonna be the leader of our little group.

Sokka decided we should all walk to avoid Appa being spotted by Fire Nation soldiers or Zuko.

Why does he think he's a good leader, anyway? It's true he's the eldest, but Aang's the _Avatar!_ He should be the leader. Sokka said Aang's just a goofy kid and typically, Aang agreed with him.

That's not true. I mean, sure Aang fools around sometimes, but never at the wrong moment or the wrong time. He can turn the silly off in a second when necessary, and he has proved it, time and time again.

Why do boys always think someone has to be the leader? Sokka gets so bossy about things sometimes! I thought his meeting with the Kyoshi warriors had cured some of his outdated ideas! Or perhaps if he got to know another aspect of a girl he'd mellow down a bit.

'I bet you wouldn't be so bossy if you kissed a girl,' I said, remembering how he had teased me yesterday.

'I-I've kissed a girl—you...just haven't met her'

'Who? Gran-gran? I've met Gran-gran.'

In spite of his protestations, Sokka, like myself, has been brought up in a complete dearth of teenagers at the South Pole. There were no girls to kiss there.

But Sokka said we have to trust his instincts, and finally I gave in and said we'd give it a go. Aang declared it might be fun and loaded himself with the heaviest bags (Appa had to walk too, and he's too big to pass under the trees loaded with our luggage)..

Trusting Sokka's instincts came at a heavy price: not least because walking is slow and tiring and we were soon quite disenchanted with the whole idea.

That's when we came upon the Fire Nation encampment. They were as surprised as we were. But not for long. They grabbed their swords and the Fire Benders among them started hurling fireballs at us. We were soon surrounded.

Suddenly, their captain dropped dead or unconscious.

At first, I didn't realise what had happened, but then I saw them as they jumped down from the trees: a motley crew of young fighters dressed in an odd assortment of clothes and fighting gear. Arrows were flying everywhere, a low, hissing sound followed by a thunk as they hit their target: the searing heat of flames swirled around as the Fire Benders retaliated, however, one young fighter stood out above the rest: he couldn't have been more than 17 or 18 years old, tall, tanned, with a shock of unruly brown hair and a twig firmly grasped between white teeth. He fought amazingly well with twin hooked swords that he wielded as though they were part of his own body. He took out several soldiers single-handedly and that galvanised Aang and I into some bending action, and I found out what a good idea investment that water-skin was.

The whole fight didn't last long: the few remaining uninjured soldiers took off through the trees, disarmed and demoralised. The last soldier was taken out by the young fighter with a cool move that broke the soldiers spear and sent the young man – twig still firmly in his mouth - stumbling towards me. He regained his balance stopped inches away from me.

'Hey' he said in a low, pleasant voice, just as though he was passing the time of day, instead of fighting soldiers with deadly weapons.

'Hi,' I answered, my heart still beating form the chaos of the fight. I noticed immediately how tall he was.

The young fighter introduced himself as Jet and the rag tag army as Sneers, Smellerbee, The Duke, Pipsqueak and Long shot: names as odd and mismatched as their owners.

They started going through the Firenation tents and belongings finding some very useful stuff. While they were busy I thanked Jet for saving us. Though he never even mentioned it, I knew Jet was their leader. He didn't _need _to say anything - he had a quiet authority that was unmistakeable. I could see how the others looked up to him and he had an answer to everything. So when he mentioned a hideout, I was eager to see it.

Aang had immediately made friends with the toughest-looking of the young fighters and only Sokka was sulking because his 'instincts' as Jet said, almost had us all killed. It took a while to load everything that could be useful, but Jet didn't want to linger in case the soldiers came back with reinforcements, but it was past noon when we left for their hideout.

It turned out the hideout was high in the treetops. Sokka was winched up by a rope that catapulted him suddenly upwards through the branches. Aang airbended himself up in that inimitable airbender way from tree trunk to tree trunk, light as a feather, until he reached the top.

I was wondering how to get up when I saw Jet holding out his hand. With the other hand he held a rope.

'Grab hold of me, Katara'

My heart beat faster as I placed my hand in his, feeling suddenly shy. Then it almost stopped when he spun me round and put his arm round my waist, lifting me effortlessly against him. I wasn't expecting that! I could feel the slight roughness of his face as we ended up cheek to cheek. Then the rope whisked us up through the red-leaved trees, and I slid a bit further down, but his arm tightened around me holding me firmly against him with an easy confidence.

My heart was fluttering wildly against my chest, and I was sure he'd notice. Worse still, I could feel my face was as fiery red as the foliage around us. I had never been this close to a young man before! I risked a quick glance at Jet but he was looking up at the tree canopy above. He looked really handsome in a daredevil, roguish kind of way. I was glad he was looking up at that moment, because my face was so red it could've set his shirt on fire.

We arrived on a wooden landing high up in the branches of the highest trees. I let go of Jet quickly and tried to compose myself. Thankfully, it was getting darker.

Up there, in the red forest canopy, it felt like we had been transported to a different but very beautiful world. Even in the gloaming I could see that there was a whole village of treehouses at different levels, all connected with zipcords or wooden bridges.

Jet explained they were fighting to liberate a nearby Earth Kingdom town, GaiPan from the Fire Nation and they had done enough damage to be on all on the wanted list. He also explained that most of the freedom fighters had lost their home or their family because of the war.

Jet had lost both.

He showed us to one of the treehouses: it was small, but dry and well built. We dropped our stuff there and joined the Freedom Fighters for a feast arranged on a table in the middle of wide platform that looked like some communal gathering place under strings of lighted lanterns.

Jet gave a short speech, nothing long-winded: just what his followers wanted to hear and cheer to, with a few carefully-placed words of praise for the bravest actions from the smallest of them: The Duke. The tree-tops rang with the cheers and shouts of every single one of the freedom Fighters.

Jet truly has the qualities of leadership: it is effortless and unquestioned by his followers and you can see he had earned his position as leader. He's earned it because he's brave and resourceful and considerate of his followers. Sokka should take a few pointers from him.

And he is handsome, and so, so, _cool_! That has nothing to do with being a leader, of course, but I guess it's a bonus. Throughout the meal I couldn't keep my eyes off him, especially when he came over and praised our bending during the fight.

He wants our help in his struggle to free the Earth Kingdom town. He even persuaded a still-grumpy Sokka to go with him on a mission tomorrow. The two of them discussed the plan – an ambush – for some time, then Sokka went to bed. Aang had been taken away by Pipsqueak and The Duke to see the lookout posts and find a suitable 'nest' for Appa in the trees. Slowly the young fighters dispersed back to their own treehouse, so that only me, Jet and some of the lookouts at their higher posts, remained.

We talked far into the night, and to my surprise I found Jet eager to talk. I told him about my quest to learn better waterbending at the North Pole, and though I know I still have a long way to go, how I practised hard every day, knowing that someday I will master the art. Jet never mentioned his parents again, but spoke about how the forest had become his home and how little by little he had built it into the complex little miniature village it was today.

'We even had a bathhouse fitted in,' he grinned, 'especially after girls joined the Freedom Fighters. Girls are more particular, though Smellerbee prefers to splash around in the river like the rest of us...'

'Oh... I thought Smellerbee's voice and face seemed far more delicate than a boy's. I – I mean, I wasn't sure - with that face paint and tough attitude...'

Jet gave a small laugh. 'Smellerbee's an awesome fighter, but I guess for some it ain't easy to separate being a girl and being good fighter. Unlike you.'

'W-What?'

'You've the strength and determination of a warrior,' Jet said his dark eyes fixed unwaveringly on mine, 'but no-one could doubt your femininity, Katara.'

'Oh.'

Suddenly I realised how close we were and he was looking at me in a strange way. My heart rate shot sky-high.

'I guess what I'm trying to say is,' Jet leaned closer, till we were only inches apart, 'You're a beautiful girl, too.'

That's when I stopped breathing.

Was he going to kiss me? There was only the sound of my own heart hammering in my chest but even in that split second, a turmoil of emotions passed through me: excitement, nervousness, but also a kind of terrified, yet eager, anticipation.

'Hey, Jet! You're on sentry duty next up by the great Oak. Snickers hurt his foot.'

The shout came from above us. Jet stood up and I realised I was still holding my breath. I let it out in a shaky sigh. The speaker was one of the sentries I had seen earlier.

'Is he ok?' Jet asked.

'Sure, Jet. He just twisted his ankle. I think he was trying to imitate some of the Avatar's moves and had an awkward fall.'

'Yeah, Snickers would. He's great at climbing trees but he's no Air bender,' Jet said, 'Well, he can't stand on that leg all night. Tell Smellerbee to patch him up, I'm coming right away. I'll take his turn tonight.'

'Right.'

The thin boy climbed nimbly back up into the branches disappearing in the darkness beyond the light of the lanterns.

'Katara...'

Jet held out his hand to pull me up.

'Tell your brother to be ready at dawn, it's a bit of a long track to the road,' he said, keeping my hand in his a second longer than was necessary. I didn't miss the gesture and my face was aflame again. 'Now go get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully with more good news.'

'Goodnight, Jet.'

'Goodnight, Katara.'

And with that he jumped lightly off the platform and was swallowed up by the darkness of the woods.

I made my way back to our treehouse, my mind buzzing with a myriad thoughts and emotions.

Sokka was still awake.

' 'bout time you came back. I thought you'd never stop batting your eyes at that Jet!'

I ignored him and passed on Jet's message. Just then Aang came in with news about the unknown Snickers death-defying imitation of an Airbending move and consequent fall. Apparently, it was Aang who saved him from something much worse than a twisted ankle. Aang, like me, was impressed with the treetop lifestyle and even Sokka's deprecating comments did nothing to dampen his enthusiasm about it.

Thus it was much later when they both finally settled down to sleep and I took out my scroll. I wanted to be able to write this without anyone watching me because ... well ... because they'd notice something was up. I still feel like it's written all over my face, and writing about it is almost the same as being next to Jet again...

I almost got my first kiss today, and for a girl, her first kiss is a BIG DEAL!

Especially a girl like me: living among only women and children for so long, back at the South Pole, there weren't too many opportunities for romance. Even assuming there had been the time for it: we were so busy trying to survive that there wasn't much time to think about romance, or even such frivolities as having fun.

Yesterday, I was ticked off with Sokka and his insinuations that I'm romantically naive and my scroll was stuffed full of romantic garbage ( I suppose that was why I teased him about Gran Gran being the only female he kissed), but I guess it's no secret that, to a certain point, _it's true_.

What _is_ a secret is that it's worrying me, now.

My notions of love and romance have come, for half my life, from third-rate sources: the older women's gossip; some half-burnt books and scrolls recounting the old sagas and stories of our tribe. The latter were more about famous warriors and their deeds than about love, and after the fire nation attacks, we were lucky to even have those half-burnt stories. The women were a fount of information of course: some funny; some sad, some contradictory and some was just well-meaning advice that I didn't really need. Most of them had a pragmatic, down-to-earth-approach to romance that came, they told me, from the wearing of the Marriage Cloak for so many years. Yet when they spoke about their missing husbands there was a wistful note in their voices that spoke volumes.

As did the twinkle in their eye when they recounted their own romances as teenagers and their betrothals...

'When I was your age,' they would start, lowering their voice confidentially 'I developed a crush on so-and-so...'

_When I was your age..._

It was usually at this point that I'd get the weird looks and their voices would sometimes stammer into silence. I endured their pitying glances as best I could: they knew falling in love was not going to happen for me. Not unless the men came back.

That didn't really bother me at the time: I was the only waterbender, and, apart from surviving, I had other ambitions. Not having someone to develop a crush on did not seem such a big thing.

I remember as a pre-teen being kind of attracted to a couple of the unmarried warriors of the tribe,( something Sokka was quick to tease me about) but the youngest was at least 6 or 7 years older than I was, so I guess that was pretty silly of me.

I could remember my mother and father though: now _that_ was love!

Love that was cut short.

I never saw love like that again and for the following years, even as I grew older, romance was the last thing on my mind, given the situation.

I'm so glad Aang came along and changed that.

The _situation_, I mean.

Ever since my brother and I started travelling with Aang, things have been _happening!_

Which means with all the crazy stuff that's been going on, I've had even less time to think about romance! Half the time I'm worried whether we'll come out of each new adventure alive, but I suppose it was only a matter of time before I met someone like Jet. After all, I'm growing up now!

Apart from being such wonderful leader and warrior, ( and a really handsome guy), what I like about Jet is his concern for others. He seems so thoughtful and considerate: I never heard him utter a depreciating comment about anyone of his followers – he was kind even to Sokka, who acted obnoxiously towards him. It's like, beneath the obvious toughness, he has a gentle soul and he would never hurt a fly!

It's just that it's happened so quickly and Jet has such an incredible presence, that I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and beyond my depth.

Perhaps all those years of not having other teenagers around have now suddenly caught up with me! I can't stop thinking of that magical moment when Jet took me in his arms and pulled me up through the red trees! No-one had ever done that before.

Well, actually, come to think of it, there was someone else who _did_...

It was in a rusting hulk of a fire nation ship, remnant of past raids on the South Pole and Aang had taken me in his arms and airbended both of us out of that ship after we had set off an ancient alarm. Even back then, it had been a dizzying thing: I guess the strange fluttering sensation then was because it was my first ( and only) experience at being airbended lightly down several hundred feet of rusty ship. Aang was the only one other boy I had met in years, so I suppose I might have been a bit in a flutter because he was so special (even though I didn't know he was the Avatar, then).

My eyes flicker over to where he's sleeping: I can make out Aang's slighter form curled up in a bedroll beyond that of my brother.

I can't resist a fond smile. Yes, Aang is special: but not only because he's the Avatar, he's a friend, airbender, goofy kid ...and something else entirely I can't quite put her finger on... all rolled into one.

I can't believe how easy it is to talk to Aang now ( I think, barring very few occasions, it always has been) so I have to hope that this feeling of being out of my depth with Jet will disappear soon. When tomorrow comes, I'm going to try and talk to him again. I've got to put more faith in my instincts!

If Sokka had to read that...

**42 nd day of our journey. My brother had his own reason for wanting to leave the Freedom Fighters today, but their leader, Jet, has asked the Avatar and I to help them prevent a nefarious Fire Nation plan to destroy the forest they live in. We are staying.**

Sokka's reasons for wanting to leave are totally unacceptable! He seemed eager enough to go on a mission with Jet, but he came back with some very serious ( and unfounded) accusations. I think he is secretly jealous that Jet is such a good leader.

I don't know what happened exactly, but they left at dawn with Smellerbee and Pipsqueak.

Aang was up early too: I saw him on the zipcords that run between the treehouses : aided by a little airbending he was going as fast as we had done on Omashu's 'superslides'. It wasn't for long though -Sneers and Long Shot needed him to help sort out with the blasting jelly.

I explored the arboreal village a bit more slowly. Like Jet said, there was even a bathhouse with water showering down through it from above and then draining through a hollow trunk to the ground below. Everything is cleverly made and I would've thought something like that would've intrigued Sokka. But no, the expression on his face when saw him in the afternoon was thunderous.

I had spent all morning making a hat for jet and going over, again and again, out conversation of yesterday. Given that Jet and the freedom fighters wear clothes that blend in with the forest to avoid detection, I thought I'd make one out of the leaves and berries I found around me.

Not that I know anything about hats: in the South Pole all we ever wear are fur hoods. There are ceremonial headdresses of course, but those don't count. However, I've seen men with lots of different hats: at Omashu especially, but even in the smaller towns and villages so it must be an important item of clothing here in the Earth Kingdom.

That is why I was upset when Sokka said we should leave, and even more upset when he said Jet had been attacking helpless old men. I wanted to hear Jet's side of the story. I know Jet wouldn't do such a thing.

Just then something exploded with a sharp crack at my feet. I jumped and dropped the hat. Momo had grabbed hold of some of the miniature popping bombs made of blasting jelly The Duke had given Aang, and was throwing it around.

'Sorry, Katara,' Aang said, bending down to pick up the hat, but I was already on my way to Jet's treehouse, determined to prove Sokka wrong.

And I did.

Turns out the old man was Fire Nation, and he had a poisoned dagger.

A poisoned dagger meant for Jet!

Jet even tried to thank Sokka for saving his life, but my brother was being stubborn and unreasonable and stormed off. Jet told us about the Fire Nation plan to destroy the Forest. Aang immediately asked what we could do to help. Jet said he needed help to waterbend and fill a reservoir with water to help fight the fire. I knew I would do anything to help these people and not only because I liked Jet, but because the Freedom Fighters were doing whatever they could to fight the fire nation. We _needed_ people like these.

Jet said he was tired and wanted an early night so Aang and I left him to rest. As we made our way to our treehouse. Aang was strangely quiet.

'We gotta convince Sokka to stay, Katara' he said after a while, 'Jet is right. We can't let the Fire Nation destroy this Forest. It will be like Senlin village all over again.'

I remembered how upset Aang had been at the vast black scar left by the Fire Nation outside Senlin village.

I nodded vigorously. 'Pointless destruction just to smoke out the Freedom Fighters. Besides, we don't want to anger another Forest Spirit like Hei Bai. Don't worry, Aang. You leave my brother to me.'

With Aang on my side, Sokka would have to give in, like he did when I was imprisoned on that rig. That turned out well, so I don't see why this won't too. And even if he won't give in – I'm staying here to help Jet!

**43 rd day of our journey. My brother's suspicions on the leader of the Freedom Fighters turned out to be true. The reservoir he wanted us to fill up with waterbending was not intended to fight a forest fire, instead, Jet intended blowing up the dam to flood and drown the entire town. It was an insane, vengeful and monstrous idea. Aang and I discovered his plan but where too late to stop the explosion of the dam. Thankfully, my brother who had realised Jet's intentions earlier, managed to warn the inhabitants of the peril they faced and they got out on time.**

Jet came for us in the morning. Sokka had disappeared somewhere while Aang and were still asleep – I thought he was just sulking, but it turned out he had followed Jet and his followers as they took the blasting jelly to the reservoir, and found out all about their plan.

There he was captured.

In the meantime Jet took us to a high ledge above the river that fed the reservoir. It had dwindled to a stream. but in the ground below our feet I felt a strange sensation. It was the presence of water – but not moving water exactly, more like water under pressure. Aang felt it too: actually he was standing on the source of the water: geysers! It exploded with a hissing sound sending Aang flying skywards. Unperturbed, he simply airbended himself gracefully down again.

Jet explained we needed to bend the water out of the geysers to join the river below. I was a bit doubtful about bending water that was so deep and unseen, but Jet placed his hands on my shoulders and said I could do it!

May the Spirits forgive me for this - but I was flattered at his confidence in me and did what he said. I did not yet know what a monster Jet is.

I should have suspected even then that he was lying: he said Sokka apologised for his behaviour. Aang and I both found that very strange. Sokka NEVER apologises.

However we knew nothing about that at the time so Aang and I took up our position on either side of the geyser and concentrated on the water beneath our feet. I could feel the turbulent eagerness of the water to escape the geyser, so bending it was far easier than I expected. Aang and I moved our hands in unison drawing forth the water slowly at first: it formed an untidy irregular stream between us but then we bended it out and down so that it gushed forth as an impressive torrent, the rest of the underground water following suit to join the river below.

Jet left us to get on with it, saying he'd meet us back at the hideout, but we finished early and I convinced Aang to go and meet Jet by the dam.

That's when we saw the freedom fighters placing the blasting jelly at the foot of the dam.

Aang understood what was happening before I did.

I couldn't believe it.

Not Jet.

The cold shower of disbelief froze me to the spot. All I had felt and believed about the young rebel came crashing down around me. Thank goodness, Aang had enough presence of mind to take off on his glider to warn the people of their imminent doom.

But at that moment Jet re-appeared and charged Aang, knocking him off his glider and almost off the edge.

I stood in shocked silence as he explained how he intended to drown the whole town: Fire Nation, innocent civilians, men, women and children: condemning them all to death in a deluded attempt to rid the valley of Fire Nation soldiers. And when he mentioned Sokka, I knew he had done something to my brother!

Sokka had warned me about Jet. I never believed him, and now he was paying the price for my stupidity...

I felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks, and when Jet dare – yes, _dared_ – to touch my face, as though what I thought or said could ever mean anything anymore, I lashed out at him, blasting him away from me with water from my waterskin.

Aang reached out for his glider then, but Jet stopped him and soon they were both up in the branches, Jet's hooked swords flashing with swift and deadly accuracy. Aang managed to avoid Jet's onslaught, trying to avoid an outright fight, but Jet was unrelenting and soon Aang was retaliating. I followed them from the ground but they fought their way to the higher levels branch by branch and the foliage sometimes hid them from view.

Then Aang's glider fell through the branches, and it was followed, shortly after, by Aang himself. He landed heavily and lay still. I ran towards him – if Aang got hurt too...

But Jet beat me to it - he jump down lightly from the branches above just as Aang was getting groggily to his feet. The cruel monster was so keen to sink those hooked swords in Aang that he didn't even notice me.

Big mistake.

I hit him with the water from a nearby stream, bending it into a lashing wave into which I poured all my fury, and hurt and disgust at his betrayal! I swung my arms, feeling the rage flowing into the movement and then into the water, bending it into an unstoppable, furious torrent, and attacking again and again and again!

Jet staggered backwards against the tree, and I froze him to it, to stop myself from continuing the attack as much as to immobilise him.

How could I have trusted him?

But Jet wasn't finished yet. There was a bird call from the valley below.

And Jet answered it.

It was a signal. We realised what he was doing and Aang snapped open his glider to try and stop the fighters below, but the wings of the glider had been shredded by Jet's original attack and he slammed down to the ground again.

Then we heard the explosion. A terrific noise that was followed by an eerie split second of silence and then the roar of rushing water and falling stone. We watched in horror as the little town of Gaipan was swept away by a huge tidal wave that we – Aang and I – had helped create.

I was transfixed with at the sheer enormity of the catastrophe! Though I couldn't see at this distance, there were people there – children - drowning slowly before my eyes!

I think I was blinded by rage then and I turned back to Jet. I didn't know what I would do – I wanted to _hurt_ him - badly! This was beyond – far, far, beyond – the pain of his personal betrayal! He had a whole town of innocent lives to answer for!

Then that Sokka's voice reached us as he flew in on Appa saying that he had managed to convince the townsfolk to evacuate! I was so proud of him: walking into a Fire Nation- held town takes some guts! Thankfully that old man – Jet's would-be poisoner, vouched for him and Sokka saved the day!

As we climbed on Appa to leave, Jet even had the nerve to turn to me and ask for help. Who does he think I am? Perhaps he figured I'm young and inexperienced and therefore an easy target to his charms and smooth talking, but though he may have fooled me once he'll never do so again!

'Goodbye, Jet' I said with an air of finality and I hope I never see him again, because if I do...

He could stay there till the ice melts for all I cared, but probably his friends found him before he even felt cold.

We spent the rest of the day making up for time lost at Gaipan, and flew in a Northerly direction. I spent the time helping Aang fix the damage to his glider. It was painstaking work because now that I saw it up close, the craftsmanship of that thing is very high quality, but I used the smallest stitches I could trying my best to emulate the skills of the unknown airbender who had crafted it a 100 years ago.

It also gave me an excuse to work in silence.

My mind was in turmoil at Jet's betrayal; at my own gullibility; and at the complete disaster that those people barely avoided. The slow precise stitching helped calm me down somewhat and focused my thoughts into something a bit more cohesive than the ungovernable hurt and anger of before.

Aang and I worked in silence – he held up the torn pieces of the wing of the glider while I stitched. I think he felt my mood because he glanced up at me every so often with a worried look in his eyes.

Even Sokka has held off his I-told-you-sos (at least for now).

I shouldn't be feeling this upset I suppose: after all, nothing really happened between me and Jet, but we came very close and Jet _knew_ it! But it was all a lie - including what might have happened – he just needed me on his side to use my skills – and Aang's – to complete his plan! I was nothing more to him than a means to an end! And a bad one.

This experience should teach me a lesson. From now on, I will never trust smooth-talking, self-assured young men EVER again! I should put my faith in someone who is sincere and trustworthy - if there are any that fit that description. Assuming I even want to. This brush with the young Freedom Fighter has shaken my faith in romance, and it will be a long time before I allow myself to think along those lines again.


	11. Chapter 11

**46 th day of our journey. We continue to travel North-East, and the terrain is changing rapidly. There are no more forests, and the vegetation is becoming sparser, as are the inhabited villages. This means we have to rely on the land to provide us with food to supplement our provisions. It's not very easy. The land is flatter, and there is a scattering of small wooded areas where we gather whatever we can, but it is becoming harder. We haven't come across any Fire Nation soldiers, but we did encounter several signs of their encampments. Tomorrow we are taking a more easterly direction to avoid what Sokka suspects to be Fire Nation strongholds in this part of the Earth Kingdom.**

**47 th day of our journey. We continue to fly in an Easterly direction and the land has now become very arid and rocky. However, there are no more signs of Fire Nation activity. The Avatar said that in this part of the central Earth Kingdom, it is the dry season. Aang also said that there is a deep and wide gorge in this part of the world known as the Great Divide. We have to cross it if we turn north eventually. We checked it out on the map and beyond The Great Divide are the great East and West lakes of the Earth Kingdom**

**Our journey north is certainly not as straight as the crow flies.**

Perhaps it's the dryness of the place that puts my nerves on edge. I haven't practised my bending in a good source of water for _days _now.

Whatever the reason, my brother and I are squabbling over the tiniest things.

He's cranky because there's nothing to hunt and fish in this arid place, ( though there're bugs a-plenty).

And he keeps teasing me about how I trusted Jet.

I wish he'd stop doing that. I already apologised for not believing him. Why does he have to rub it in?

For the past days I've been trying to forget Jet's betrayal, and it hasn't been easy: I've alternated between anger and hurt – but mostly anger. I'll never forget what his twisted ideals almost did. What _we _almost did, when we helped him fill the dam that then flooded Gaipan village.

Jet has that obsessive drive that destroys everything in its path in order to get whatever he wants. He reminds me of Zuko, who would've completely burnt down Kyoshi village in his attempt to capture Aang.

I'm done with Jet. I haven't written about him – or anything at all, actually - for some days now because I don't want to think about him. And anyway, we've been rather busy gathering enough food to survive. Aang has become the main provider because he can travel longer distances on his glider (Apparently, my patching job worked) and manages to find enough fruit and nuts to get us through the day.

Aang is also taking on the role of peacemaker more and more often.

This evening Sokka and I fought over chores: there are clouds in the sky so it might probably rain and yet he refuses to put the tarp over the tent! Then he criticises the firewood I spent _hours_ collecting: it's not as though we're in a _forest_ here: there are barely any trees to get twigs from!

I don't know how Aang manages to talk us out of our arguments. He comes up with unorthodox solutions sometimes, but what is more surprising is that Sokka – and I- both grudgingly listen to his suggestions.

Perhaps it's because he's the non-sibling of the three of us, so he acts as a kind of buffer; or perhaps because he's more patient than I am – I don't know. In this waterless place, my patience has worn thin...

Aang says he's been raised by the monks to abide by the philosophy of striving to find peaceful solutions to conflict, and besides, he knows it's the Avatars' job to settle feuds and keep the peace.

I suppose that may be another reason why I listen to him, when I wouldn't to anyone else. He _is_ the Avatar - besides, I can't think of anyone more suitable, because I've rarely seen Aang lose his temper like I do– and never over silly things. He's the most affable, equanimous person I know.

Sometimes I feel a bit guilty that a twelve-year-old kid should be setting me an example on how to resolve these silly issues, but recently (or should I say, all my life?) Sokka is trying my patience to the limit!

He gets this way when food is scarce.

**49 th day of our journey. Today we crossed the Great Divide. Not on Appa, as planned, but on foot. We met with two refuge tribes on their way to Ba Sing Sei, the Zhangs and the Gan Jins. An old Earthbender guide was to take them across the Great Divide, but there was an ongoing 100-year feud between the two tribes and neither would condescend to travel across the canyon with the other. Aang, true to his Avatar responsibilities suggested that Appa could carry both tribes sick and elderly so that the rest would be free to follow the guide and make it through the gorge in a day's time. **

**The journey started with an uncomfortable and often-broken truce between the two tribes, but by the end of the journey, due to a skirmish with Canyon-crawlers, they found they could work together. **

**Both tribes had been convinced by this event and some encouraging words from the Avatar, that they could share the same space without fighting.**

We arrived at the canyon early yesterday morning. The biggest canyon in the world! It stretched for miles and miles in sedimentary layers of warm shades: browns and yellows and pale grey, darkening to a rich golden brown far down in the depths of the gorge below us. I forgot my grumpiness with this arid part of the land as I looked onto the strange, unearthly beauty of the Great Divide.

Sokka, untouched as usual by anything unpractical, was calling us over to Appa when a man in elaborate white robes came running up. He said he was after the Earthbender Canyon Guide. That's when the Zhang tribe showed up –fierce-looking men and women dressed in animal skins, and we soon found out all about their 100-year feud.

The Canyon Guide was a large, strongly-built Earthbender with an even larger moustache and a straw hat. His clothes were rather old and torn and I expect he'd lived in a small house or station by the side of the gorge for years. He certainly gave the impression he knew the place.

At the last minute, the Gan Jins arrived: all as elegantly-dressed as their scout.

And the trouble began.

I would've thought, as refugees, they would've been more angry about the Fire Nation soldiers who had destroyed their village, but these two tribes were at each other's throats over who would get to cross first, given that they had sick and elderly in their groups who couldn't be left behind. They were soon hurling insults at each other, and I knew it would degenerate further if someone didn't do something.

I thought of Aang. He seemed a bit reluctant at first, so I introduced him to the tribes as the Avatar.

That way they'd listen.

It took a while, and even Aang had to yell at them, but finally they agreed to let Appa fly their elderly and sick over so and that they'd share the Canyon Guide.

The Canyon Guide told us to leave all food behind. What little we had was on Appa, but the two tribes had a plentiful supply that they ate in a hurry. We didn't know, at that point, what we had got ourselves into as we followed the Guide down into the canyon. Sokka was unhappy about Aang taking the role of peacemaker in a 100-year-old feud, but Aang was more upbeat about it.

At least the old Canyon Guide seemed to know what he's doing. He was careful not to leave any easy pathways for any pursuing Fire Nation soldiers to follow, and my confidence in getting out of this canyon without a major deadly fight slowly grew.

The two tribes followed in silence, limiting their enmity to glowering looks, but I couldn't help noticing how completely different the hunter-gatherer tribe of the Zhangs was to the sophisticated, land-owning Gan Jins.

The old Canyon Guide was very informative. He said angry Earth Spirits gauged out the canyon. I don't know if he was joking or not. Sokka, of course, said it was simply eroded away by wind and ancient rivers.

Then the Canyon Crawlerappeared – huge, black, with an elongated snout and eight enormous scurrying legs. It caught the scout and threw him across the canyon floor. Both Sokka and I attacked it, but the creature was unstoppable. Finally, Aang created a tornado with his staff that slammed the thing half-way up the canyon wall. It scurried off, climbing the vertical cliff face with ease.

The Canyon Guide had fractured both arms and could not bend. We were trapped in the canyon. I made a splint for the poor old Guide's arms like Gran Gran had showed me to. He would be in less pain, and hopefully, his arms would heal well.

'Great work, young Waterbender,' he told me, after stoically enduring the pain of having his broken arms manipulated into slings, 'They should heal perfectly.'

'You think so? I've never done this without the supervision of my Grandmother... I'd feel really bad if I did something wrong and you wouldn't be able to-'

I stopped.

'Wouldn't be able to what, m'dear?'

'Wouldn't be able to bend properly. I've seen some Earthbenders - prisoners on board a Fire Nation rig that had been tortured and their hands burnt so that they couldn't bend.'

His eyes widened beneath the thick white eyebrows and his moustache quivered in indignation.

'I heard stories like that, too. Nowadays, the only people I guide across this here canyon are refugees, not tourists, and they got some bad stories to tell, lemme tell you! But you done a good job with the splints, young 'un: I've mended broken bones before, and I know I'll be fine... or I would be, if I knew how we're gonna get outa here! Especially if these darn idiots don' stop fighting!'

The Zhangs and Gan Jins were at it again -accusing each other of sneaking the food that attracted the Canyon crawler! They wouldn't even listen to Aang - and this time, Aang _did_ get angry.

'ENOUGH!' he yelled in exasperation, punctuating his words with a blast of air from his staff, 'I thought I could help you guys get along, but I guess that's not going to happen!'

He airbended himself on top of a small bluff that divided the canyon valley into two and told the tribes they should split up. Sokka was to accompany the Zhangs, and I, the Gan Jins, to try and find out the reason for the feud.

Things were much quieter after that. When he wasn't yelling insults at the Zhang leader I found that chief of the Gan Jins to be a serious, but cultured, man who could talk about many different subjects. The hardships forced upon his people by the Fire Nation was not the least of them. The Gan Jins have a long and proud history, and rather than submit to the enslavement and humiliation of an occupied village, he decided that the whole lot of them should seek refuge in Ba Sing Sei. It was an admirable thing to do, I thought.

Given his proud and upright character I was rather surprised later that night when we sat around the campfire, when he offered me a piece of bread. They said the Zhangs had also smuggled food in, so why shouldn't they? I wasn't too happy about that, and I hoped the campfire was enough to keep those Canyon Crawlers away, but the Gan Jin leader seemed to know his enemies pretty well, so I took the bread, for I was hungry.

I wondered how Aang was faring. I had half a mind to keep a piece of my bread for him, but I had no idea where he was. I had seen him earlier keeping pace with us by jumping lightly across the dividing bluff, but now the darkness hid everything from view.

Remembering what Aang had said I asked the Gan Jin leader what the reason behind the feud was. He looked at me gravely for a moment, then started explaining how the tribe's patriarch Jin Wei had been waylaid and robbed of a sacred orb by a member of the Zhangs, Wei Jin, during the Gan Jin's ancient Redemption Ceremony.

No wonder the Gan Jins hate the other tribe so much. How could they steal something so precious – something _sacred_?! One doesn't forget that in a hurry!

I woke up bright and early this morning in one of the tents the Gan Jins were kind enough to allow me to share. It was as bright and neat and clean as everything else about their tribe. I helped them pack (and got a few pointers on how to do things better) and then we were on our way.

I saw Aang up on the baulk just as it came to an end and both tribes were in full view of each other once more. But this time round I saw the Zhangs for what they were: dirty, opportunistic thieves that would not think twice about desecrating what was, for others, a revered ritual. They grab what they can to survive and even by looking at them, you can see that nothing is sacred for them! Not even a revered orb.

Not that I understand anything about orbs – sacred or otherwise – but it was important for the Gan Jins: I could see that: the ritual represented the rising and setting of the sun: an essential part of their farming culture.

So when Aang asked if the Gan Jins would cooperate with the Zhangs for long enough to find a way out of the canyon ( for we had arrived at its end), I was forced to say that I didn't think so, given what they had done.

Then Sokka contradicted me.

Had his night with the Zhangs brainwashed him?! How could he side with a bunch of irreverent ignorant people who admired their thieving ancestor?

Im afraid things got a bit out of hand at that point. The two tribes were yelling at each other, and I was yelling at Sokka for letting himself be influenced by the Zhangs.

I suppose, looking back at things now, I might've been similarly influenced by the Gan Jin leaders' own conviction of the truth of his tale. It's difficult for anyone to know what happened a 100 years ago. And when Sokka takes that patronising attitude, he always gets out my worst side.

Things came to a head when the two tribal leaders drew their swords and clashed together in a fight that looked as though it would be to the death. Aang tried to stop them, but they ignored him and raised their swords once more.

That's when Aang lost his temper.

I mean _really_ lost his temper!

I actually jumped back in alarm as he leapt between the two opponents and brought his staff slamming down between them, creating a strong gust of wind that almost blew them off their feet, his face twisted in fury.

They stopped fighting immediately and l looked in stunned surprise at Aang. Was this the affable, even-tempered Airbender we knew? But apparently, even the peace-loving Air nomad philosophy he had been taught had evaporated in this inhumanly harsh and arid gorge. Or perhaps it was just because we were being jerks. Most likely the second.

Aang was really mad at us and that brought me to my senses more than calm words would have.

Then I saw his expression change to one of wide-eyed disbelief, followed by a barely disguised yearning look as he eyed something on the canyon floor. His blast of air had knocked a lot of both tribes belongings flying – food! No wonder he was shocked. And the way he was looking at a rather stale egg custard tart told me that hunger had finally played a part in his outburst.

Unlike any of us, Aang had gone hungry for more than a day.

'Is that... food? Everyone smuggled food down here!?' he yelled, looking at the tribe leader 'UNBELIEVABLE! You guys put our lives in danger because you couldn't go without a snack for a day!? You are all...AWFUL!'

My conscience prickled guiltily. I shouldn't have been taking sides in this stupid feud – I should have supported Aang in keeping the peace. But I didn't have much time for recriminations - with the food scattered all over the canyon floor, the Canyon Crawlers returned. Loads of them!

It was chaos. They were just too many to handle, even for Aang. Sokka and I were both feeling a bit guilty for taking sides, and we tried to help Aang protect these people, but it was tough going. Finally, Aang hit upon the idea of using the food bags as muzzles and riding the Canyon Crawlers right out of the canyon. They were scavengers, and they were mainly after the tribes' food.

It was amazing how everyone worked together then: I suppose it had come down to a life or death situation for both tribes, and they knew it - if they didn't get out of the canyon, they would die there and they themselves would become food for the scavenging crawlers.

Aang's idea worked, and we were soon climbing vertically upwards on our many-legged transporters. Atop the edge of the gorge we just threw the food bags back into the canyon and the Crawlers followed it back down again.

The two tribal leaders seemed to have forgotten about their feud in the euphoria of helping each other out of the canyon but not for long: drawing their swords, they prepared to continue their interrupted duel. This time I was ready to yell at them myself for their obstinate persistence in destroying one another, but Aang suddenly said he remembered said he knew Wei Jin and Jin Wei, and they were twin brothers!

The Zhang leader and Gan Jin leaders looked at him doubtfully, as he explained that he was a 112 years old. Having seen enough proof that he was the long-lost Avatar, they must have thought his story plausible for they believed him (or appeared to), and the legend of the sacred orb turned out to be no more than a friendly game between the two twin brothers, which, over decades of telling and retelling, became twisted into a far more sinister tale.

The end result was that the two tribes thanked Aang for settling the matter between them, retrieved their sick and elderly from where Appa was waiting, and travelled to the Earth Kingdom as one tribe, accompanied by the Earthbender Canyon Guide, who apparently had had enough of the canyon.

As soon as they were out of sight Aang told us he had made the whole thing up.

'You did not!' I cried in disbelief.

But the grin on his face told me that he meant it.

'That is SO wrong,' I smiled admiringly.

I never imagined Aang would be capable of such an elaborate lie, and moreover, of lying with such calm, sustained, conviction. Strangely enough, I wasn't shocked: on the contrary, I found it devilishly admirable, and one more thing to add to the list of unexpected actions the young Airbender had surprised me with, today. And his tongue-in-cheek re-working of the Jin wei and Wei Jin tale was really funny! Especially given that it was enough to stop a hundred-year-old feud!

'Now, where's that custard tart?I'm starving!' Aang said looking around to where some of the tribe's food bags had spilt their contents.

Sokka was already rummaging around.

'I thought it a bit odd,' I said settling down to some stale bread and brown-spotted pears. Most of the food was a bit stale but edible. 'I mean – the way the Gan Jins spoke, I would've thought those guys would've had some written records of what really happened'

'Well, the Zhangs certainly didn't,' Sokka said through a mouthful of dried meat ''T was by word of mouth, but boy, do they know how to tell a story. Good memory and stuff.'

'So you think they didn't believe me?' Aang asked, a bit perplexed.

'I don't think anyone can argue with a 112-year-old Avatar, and you were _very_ convincing' I said with a smile, 'I think the Zhangs believed you, and as for the Gan Jins: their so-called Redemption Ceremony has been defunct for a 100 years. Their leader told me the orb had mysteriously disappeared around that time too, so I don't think they really know what to believe.'

'Oh,' Aang looked a bit crestfallen, but I smiled at him.

'I think he didn't really care what explanation is given, as long as he got an explanation and therefore an excuse to stop the duel without losing face,' I said, with a flash of insight, 'They were already getting along down there in the canyon, when faced with the Canyon Crawlers.'

'The idea of being trapped forever with the Zhangs in that crawler-infested canyon might've had something to do with it,' Sokka said, wisely, 'Or your display of righteous anger...' he added, looking at Aang with a grin.

'Oh...that,' Aang rubbed his head sheepishly.

'Well, it worked for us,' I said 'We were being complete jerks back there. Sorry, Aang. But the important thing is that the tribes won't kill each other off on the way to Ba Sing Sei.'

Aang nodded, brightening. 'I think they were both heartily sick of the feud anyway, so they were ready to accept an impartial end to it. Duelling would only have led to further revenge killings, and they knew they couldn't afford that now.'

'Airboy, sometimes, the way you grasp the intricacies of warfare, is just way too beyond your years...' Sokka exclaimed.

'What, all 112 of them?' Aang retorted with a mischievous smile.

'I'm the oldest teenager here, Arrowboy, and don't you forget it!' Sokka scowled and threw a chicken bone at him, which Aang neatly airbended straight back at him. 'Nice lying, though...'

We laughed as the sun rose higher in the sky and illuminated the breath-taking gorge of the Great Divide. Like an undulating, never-ending scene it stretched out before us before us disappearing in a haze of distant exciting possibilities near the horizon.


	12. Chapter 12

**51 st day of our journey: The aridness of the central Earth Kingdom has given way to a greener landscape around the shores of a great sea, or rather, lake, the Great Western Lake, north of the Great Divide. The climate is also a bit cooler and more humid now because we're so close to the water and because, being further north, the dry season has almost ended, and we've had some cold and windy weather these last few days. Today, in fact, we were hit by a storm just as we were attempting to cross the lake on our north-bound journey. It blew us off course towards the west, and the Avatar felt it better if we head towards land.**

Thunder rolled lugubriously above us, making the rain-laden clouds reverberate with the sound. We were flying quite high over a lead-grey sea, and the light drizzle that had started early that morning stung our eyes.

'It's getting worse,' Aang said .

He was on Appa's neck, guiding the bison northwards.

'It's only a bit of rain, Aang,' Sokka said, his eyes narrowed against the tiny drops, 'It's nothing like the blizzards we have to weather back home. It'll pass.'

But Aang was looking South East where the thunder seemed to be coming from. I followed his gaze. Dark clouds were gathering there, and they had already obscured the distant sliver of land from where we had set off from. I turned back to Aang to tell him I wouldn't mind if he wanted to keep on going, when a sudden flash of forked lightening lit up sea and sky. Aang's face was stark white in contrast to the darkening sky.

'Hey, guys, perhaps we should head inland –' he started, but his words were drowned in a loud crash of thunder.

The storm was getting closer.

It wasn't such a bad storm: we had been in worse before, but till now, we had been lucky enough to have never been caught in a bad one on open water. The saddle is an uncomfortable place in bad weather – we usually just have to sit it out or throw the tarp over us for some protection, but it is a hundred times worse in strong winds or, as now, in a storm, because Appa struggles to keep level fight, and the ride is bumpy – very, VERY bumpy. In very bad cases we usually land and try and find shelter.

You can't do that over the open sea.

I lifted my hand and water bended the rain off me so I could see better. The wind was picking up and the water below was churned into many white-tipped waves.

'The Storm's heading north, perhaps if we go west we'll avoid the worst of it...' I said.

'That'll make us lose a day or two,' Sokka shouted over the noise of the grumbling thunder.

'We can't risk being hit by lightening!' Aang yelled from up front, 'Besides, Appa doesn't like electrical storms when ... when we're flying over water. Do you, Buddy?'

Appa rumbled a distressed agreement, and I joined Sokka under the tarp he had draped over himself. He was taking out the map.

'I'll check where land's closest' he called out to Aang.

But he didn't have time to open the map because a huge bolt of lightning struck the sea barely a few yards from where we were. The sound was deafening and Appa roared in panic and veered away sharply so that I was thrown against Sokka. We fell in a jumble of legs, arms, tarp and map.

For a split second, the bison's sideways plunge almost carried us straight into the eager grey waves, now towering many feet into the air. In fact, Appa's three left legs actually skimmed the waves, sending spray splashing over us in a white shower.

When I had extricated myself from Sokka, I saw Aang struggling to gain control, for Appa was clearly frightened at the near miss.

That close, lightning is louder and even more terrifying than the Fireballs Zuko and Zhao sent our way when we ran their blockade on our way to Roku's island!

'It's going to be alright this time, buddy,' Aang was leaning down over Appa's head, stroking his neck. 'We'll hit land soon.'

I made my way up front and held out my arms wide, waterbending the rain away to create a dry sphere big enough to allow me to see better.

'There! Over there!' I cried, pointing 'I thought I saw a light!'

Aang swung Appa around and we headed for the light.

'Siddown, Katara!' Sokka shouted pulling my skirt 'You're just _asking_ for another lightening strike standing up like that!'

I sat down hurriedly – anyway the tiny light was in sight now and we managed to reach the shore without further mishaps.

It turned out the light came from a lonely fisherman's hut on a rocky shore. We flew right over it and further inland where Appa finally set down with a grateful grunt. We took shelter beneath a rocky outcrop, built a small fire, and waited for the storm to pass. The worst of it was out at sea.

'Your ten-ton monster of a bison is pretty skittish in storms!' Sokka grumbled at Aang as he took off his boots and upturned them near the fire.

'Only over water,' Aang said, in such a low voice I barely heard him.

He was fiddling with the twigs in the fire, his eyes on the burning embers.

'So he should be!' I volunteered, patting Appa's thick, soggy fur, 'There's nowhere to land, and what if he gets hit by lightning? Don't listen to Sokka, boy, lightning is dangerous! Did you have a bad experience, hmm? Did he, Aang?'

'Why're you asking me that?' Aang said, with a frown.

'Uh – dunno...something you said before we hit land...'

'No,' he said, shortly.

'Hey guys, we should get our bearings before it gets dark. I have no idea where we've been blown to by that storm.' Sokka interrupted.

'I'll go,' Aang sprang to his feet, 'It's stopped raining. I'll scout ahead and let you know.'

And with that he snapped his glider open and took off - a bright orange speck against the backdrop of the distant grey clouds. I got the impression something was bothering him.

It was quite a while before he came back. Apparently we have been blown off-course for many miles to the west, and now we're on the western shore of the lake. The weather still being unsettled, Aang is reluctant to try the journey over water again, so we'll probably find a more westward route around it.

**53 rd day of our journey. We have decided, on the Avatar's suggestion that we should circumnavigate the great lake, so we are heading west. Fire nation activity however, has forced us away from the lake and further inland. Provisions are getting low again and we have managed to survive on fish and berries, but we will probably need to stop at some market and see if we can barter for something better. A lot of the villages here have been occupied by the Fire Nation just like the Zhangs and the Gan Jins said. This is quite a deviation from our intended route, but the Avatars' safety is more important, even if it means losing several days. **

**According to the map, there are vast uninhabited regions north of the lake, so perhaps this slower, westerly route is a better idea. **

**The climate continues to be a bit unsettled, but still warm – at least by Southern Water Tribe standards.**

I can't sleep.

Not this time. I think it was Momo who woke me up this time, actually, but Aang's been having bad dreams again, waking up in the middle of the night. It's been several nights now, but he still won't tell me about them.

First time it happened I thought it was a one-off and went back to sleep again. Second time, I was woken up by Aang tossing and turning next to my sleeping bag, but before I could say or do anything he woke up with a startled shout. It took longer for me to settle back again.

Tonight, I just can't sleep, for I know there's something bothering him. Aang is curled up in foetal position next to me, pretending to sleep. I know he's not asleep, even though he's got his back to me, for there is something oddly tense and withdrawn about him.

That is why I've taken out my quill to write my thoughts down. In the light of a waxing moon, even my invisible writing is brightly legible. I have always found it difficult to get to sleep when people around me are sick or troubled, and I have a gut feeling that whatever is troubling Aang is not something simple.

I wish I could help him.

In spite of all the light-hearted joking around, and the upbeat approach to practically all the hardships of our journey, and even the uncertain future of his role in defeating Ozai, I sense there is something more about Aang than meets the eyes - and I don't mean about him being the Avatar.

It's a certain look he gets in his eyes when he thinks no-one is looking. Their grayness seems to darken then and become clouded with sadness or , rather - not sadness exactly (I can understand sadness after what he found at the Southern Air temple), but there is something else, too. 'Troubled' is the closest I can describe it. I very rarely see it – sometimes, after he's been meditating, or else when something unexpectedly reminds him of the Air Nomads, or else when, during a long journey on Appa, there is nothing to do but gaze at a distant horizon and lose yourself in your thoughts.

And I have seen it far more often these last few days than any other time on our journey. It started ever since we were blown off-course by the storm.

**55 th day of our journey. Our intention to circumnavigate the great western lake on our journey north has been further foiled by the presence of Fire Nation armies. Many towns and villages in this part of the earth kingdom have been newly-occupied by the Fire Nation or have been pillaged. Apart from everything else, this had made it difficult to get provisions, forcing us to travel even more westwards**

**This morning we reached the shores of the Mo Ce Sea. Here, there are many occupied towns, but at least their occupation is long-standing, so things are not so turbulent and their supply routes are unbroken, which means good markets.**

**To keep the Avatars' secret we decided to try get provisions from a small harbor town. It is nothing more than a fishing village at the base of some high hills, and seems unimportant enough to be largely ignored by Fire Nation.**

**We hoped to get some fresh fruit and vegetables from the market there, but with no money it was difficult. My brother volunteered for a job on a fishing boat, but was caught in a storm far out at sea. The storm was one of the most violent that we have yet encountered on our journey. The Avatar and I finally found the ship and rescued them, but Appa was overtaken by a huge wave which pulled us all under. **

**That triggered Aang's Avatar state and we were saved once more by that power.**

The weather was perfect to start off with. We never expected it to change so suddenly. Or that Sokka would take on a job as a Fishermans' hauler.

But we were out of food and out of money. My ruse to try and get the market lady to give us free fruit by saying it wasn't fresh didn't work. ( But then I'm not good at that sort of thing either.)

I don't think we had ever come to such a low point. We hadn't caught any fish or game yesterday that we could trade or barter, and I suppose hunger was driving Sokka to insist on the job, even when the old Fisherman's wife insisted a storm was brewing. Aang immediately suggested we find shelter, but I had to agree with Sokka – the sky was clear blue, with not a cloud in sight.

Unfortunately the old woman was right, and before Sokka had even finished helping the old fisherman load the boat with fishing gear, the wind picked up and dark foreboding clouds were piling up on the distant horizon. Aang tried to dissuade Sokka from going.

That's when the old man realised who Aang was. Being such a small, insignificant fishing village and completely devoid of Fire Nation soldiers, Aang hadn't bothered to hide his tattoos.

But his reaction wasn't what I - or Aang - expected.

'The Avatar disappeared for a hundred years,' the old man said belligerently, jabbing Aang in the chest with his forefinger. 'You turned your back on the world!

'Don't yell at him! Aang would never turn his back on anyone!' I immediately turned defensive, as Aang seemed shocked into silence.

'Oh? He wouldn't, huh? Then I guess I must have imagined the last hundred years of war and suffering'

How dare he? How _dare_ this old man level such accusations at someone so selflessly brave like Aang?! I gave the old fisherman a piece of my mind – he doesn't know Aang like I do - he doesn't know how many lives he's saved, how much he's risked for us and others! What a lot he has yet to face...

But when I turned round I realised Aang had backed away. That's when I saw the expression on his face: there it was again- the pale, wide-eyed, haunted look I had seen so often ever since we had been blown off-course by that storm.

'Aang? What's wrong?'

But the next instant he had snapped open his glider and took off towards the high rugged hills in the distance.

** '**That's right! Keep flyin!' the old fisherman shouted.

I rounded on him savagely:

'You're a horrible old man!' I shouted, the vehemence of my words surprising both myself and the old guy.

But I didn't care: I had seen the look on Aang's face before he took off, and it had gone straight to my heart. Something was more than troubling him: something was _haunting_ him. Why would he be so upset at the words of a garrulous old man?

I ran off towards Appa. This time I wasn't going to leave Aang alone. He needed someone. He needed me.

'Yip Yip!' I cried and Appa rose into the air.

I directed him towards the high cliff-like hills that rose steeply from the shoreline. I had an instinctive feeling that Aang would seek these high places somehow. The storm broke over us then and the driving rain made it difficult to see anything. I couldn't waterbend it away because I had my hands on the reins.

Finally I saw it: a dark cave high up in the barren cliff-face that looked a bit like the bison stables at the Southern Temple: there was a parapet in front of it and stone steps leading from the shoreline below. Something told me it was worth having a closer look. I took Appa down.

The cave was very dark when I went in – the light from its mouth threw a dim path inside, the driving rain casting its splintered shadow on a lone figure huddled down in the middle of the cave. I didn't see Aang immediately at first; he was on his knees, with his back to me, and didn't look up when I came in.

But he must have heard me or Appa above the noise of the driving rain, because he spoke before I came up to him.

I'm sorry for running away,' he said in a low voice.

I started blaming that stupid fisherman guy, but then Aang said the Fisherman was right.

'What do you mean?'

'I don't want to talk about it.'

He looked so small and vulnerable crouched in that dark immense cavern. This time I wasn't going to go away and leave him to whatever thoughts were haunting him. I ignored what he said: he needed to talk about it.

And I was there to listen.

'It has to do with your dream, doesn't it?' I asked gently.

I think he knows I've been secretly lying awake through the night with him, when he had those dreams.

I went over and knelt in front of him, and put my hand gently on his shoulder. But Aang's head remained bent and his eyes downcast.

**'**Talk to me,' I squeezed his shoulder gently, letting him know I was there for him.

He finally lifted his eyes to my face. 'Well, it's kind of a long story,' he started, but then Appa and Momo appeared at the cave mouth, sopping wet, for the storm outside was reaching epic proportions. Momo ran straight at Aang and Appa nudged him gently with muzzle as though he knew something was up. A small smile appeared on Aang's face at the sight of them. Momo hates the rain and Appa was dripping huge puddles in the middle of the cave, so I built a small fire with driftwood.

Momo settled on Aang's lap and Appa settled down a bit further back where he could keep his eye on the mouth of the cave. Soon, the only noise was that of the crackling fire, and I waited in silence as Aang gazed at the bright flames, a far-off look on his face.

'I'll never forget the day the monks told me I was the Avatar,' he said finally 'It was early summer, and so really great weather for staying outdoors. I was playing with some other kids just outside the south wall. I was trying to teach them how to do the air scooter... Some of those boys had just come from the Northern Air Temple, accompanied by some grim-faced monks. They said they would probably be staying at the Southern Air Temple for a long time, but they didn't know why….'

He paused and stroked Momo's fur, a frown creasing his forehead.

'I didn't either, so I just taught them the air scooter like I had my friends from the Southern Temple. Well, I _tried_ to teach them: some of the younger ones couldn't manage the bending move to get the airball going, and those that did found it isn't so easy to ride…' Aang gave a small grin at the memory, but then his face grew serious once more

'That's when the Monk's Council of Elders – all 5 of them – came for me and the look on their faces was just as grim as that of the Monks from the Northern temple. They told me to follow them to the Council chamber.

'That in itself was kinda odd: we boys are rarely allowed in there, and I was thinking that maybe I'd done something really bad to upset them. My friend Sonam and I had just accidentally destroyed the Music Room with a spinning Dinju a few weeks before …'

'But that wasn't it, was it?' I asked slowly as he paused.

Aang shook his head. 'No. it wasn't. Monk Gyatso explained : ''Aang, have you ever wondered why, unlike other kids here, you do not travel with your parents during the holidays?' he told me 'Or why the group of Air Nomads your family belongs to never travels to the South Temple?''

Aang looked up from the fire with a fleeting expression of bitterness. 'Of _course_ I wondered. How couldn't I?' he said vehemently, 'I was the one always left behind when the other kids got to travel with their families – but I couldn't tell Monk Gyatso that, could I? He'd been the one to look after me all those years, and he was the one to take me places, till I could go on my own!'

'So Monk Gyatso is like the family you didn't have…' I could see now even more why at the Southern Temple he'd been so upset to find his remains.

Aang nodded. 'They told me it was they, the Monks, who had taken me from my parents when I could barely walk and talk. I was a bit confused and angry at that, but Monk Gyatso's next words were even stranger: 'We _had _to take you away, Aang,' he told me, 'because you're the Avatar!''

'I didn't believe them, of course. Or at least – not immediately. I was just a _kid_, and in my mind, Avatars were these powerful old men and women we read about in history books – nothing like _me_!'

'Aang, Avatars are all-powerful and live to a great and wise old age - but I guess they were all born as babies once,' I remarked, reasonably.

'Yeah, I guess,' he assented 'In fact, it was some little kids toys that singled me out: apparently I chose them over others not knowing they were Avatar relics and reminded me of my past lives.'

'They explained an Avatar is usually told about his identity when they're 16, but there were signs of war, and they decided to let me know earlier. I was barely a few months past my twelfth birthday, Katara, and yet there was the Grand Abbot himself already addressing me as 'young Avatar'! I didn't like it.'

'I realised then why the Northern Temple Monks looked so grim when they arrived. They must've brought news of the war, though I don't think they were the first. That year, there had been a larger number than usual of Air nomads who visited our temple. Nothing much was said to us kids, but we sorta guessed none of them brought good news, for they all had grave faces and locked themselves up with the Monks' Council for many hours whenever they came.

'Anyhow, that's how I found out I was the Avatar, and that I must start training harder right away. ''_We need you Aang''_ they told me'

Aang lowered his head, and then it slowly dawned on me that it was rather a huge responsibility for a young kid to take on. I know shouldering responsibility can be a bit tough – I learned that the hard way when I was only 8 years old. Of course, that's nothing compared to an Avatar's responsibility, but being an Avatar is such a great _honor_.

I asked Aang the one question that had been burning in my mind ever since he'd told us, back at the South Pole, that he never wanted to be the Avatar … something I had never understood:

'So you were upset that you were the Avatar? Why wouldn't you be excited about it?'

'Well, I didn't know how to feel about it,' Aang said sounding perplexed, 'All I knew is that after I found out, everything began changing, and I wasn't even allowed to play with my friends anymore: not only because of all the training and stuff I had to do now, but... well ... because they said I'd always have an unfair advantage being the Avatar.'

'Hey, that's rather unfair of _them_ Aang,-'

'Nah, not really, Katara. Not in team play anyhow. I suppose it also has to do with team morale. But it was a pity: those Northern Temple boys really got the hang of the air scooter after a few weeks, and they had even invented a game…'

His eyes gazed wistfully at the fire, but I knew he was seeing only the past. I thought I was beginning to see a glimmering of why being an Avatar was not as great as I had imagined.

'But you were 'special', now, weren't you? Your friends didn't treat you the same any more... you were _different_' I had vague memories of being looked at with suspicion when I was very little, by some other girls my age -that was before they moved to more remote places because of the Fire Nation raids.

'Ever since the news got out – with the monks calling me young Avatar all the time, it didn't take that long – everyone started behaving weirdly. Some of the younger kids seemed even _scared_ of me, Katara! Can you believe that? Others just wouldn't stop staring – especially the kids from the Northern Temple who didn't know me that well. But even my friends -'

He stopped, looking sadly into the fire. He didn't actually say it, but I knew that being Avatar had made a difference there, too. I felt so sorry for him: not only was he robbed of his family, but to be ostracised by your friends…

'But Monk Gyatso stood by you, didn't he?' I prodded gently. There had to be _someone_ to fill the void.

'Yeah, we played Pai Sho as often as my training allowed,' Aang smiled at the memory 'Pai Sho – Gyatso-style: you could expect _anything _when you played against Monk Gyatso: he didn't limit himself to strategy moves on the board only!'

His smile faded 'Only I think I should've studied more. The other Monks thought that Gyatso as my guardian, was being too lenient. There was talk of war every day. Now that I was Avatar, I was sometimes invited to sit with the Monk's Council, and I heard many of their discussions about how Sozin was amassing a huge army.'

'Did the monks know what Sozin was planning?'

Aang shook his head sadly. 'I dunno. I wasn't allowed in _all_ the time, but I believe they thought he'd attack the Earth Kingdom where some Fire Nation colonies where already set up. No-one knew about the comet …'

I wanted to ask him if the monks knew – if _he_ knew - of Sozin's plan to destroy the avatar. It must have occurred to them at least, that Sozin's ambitions would have wanted the Avatar out of the way: and that with the comet's arrival and the Avatar just a kid, it would have been the ideal time.

But I stopped myself. I had never told Aang that Sozin's first strike had specifically targeted the Airbenders. And the reason why. Perhaps Aang had already figured it out by himself, or perhaps Avatar Roku had told him...

I had shied away from telling him anything in the hope that he wouldn't realise _why_ Sozin wiped out the entire race of Airbenders.

'Things had settled into a routine of long hours of training in high level techniques with Monk Tashi and I was so busy I didn't have time for my friends anyway,' Aang continued in a subdued voice 'One night, one of my best friends, Sonam snuck up to my room once late at night and helped me finish some homework – yeah, that intensified together with the training – and told me being Avatar wasn't so great after all, and that my friends were actually feeling bad for me now.

**'**Then, just when I was starting to feel better, something worse happened. Monk Gyatso had been summoned by the Abbot and I knew something was up. He and some of the other monks had been at loggerheads over my training. I sneaked onto the old council room- you've seen it: it's got a trellised roof. It was past mid-summer and the trellis was covered with climbing vine-flowers and I could hear everything that was being said.'

He paused, a dark look crossing his face.

'What did you overhear, Aang?' I asked with some trepidation. From the looks of it, nothing good.

'They said Monk Gyatso was letting his affection for me cloud his judgement and that as a result we needed to be separated, for the world needed me more than... well... more than I needed to grow up a normal kid. The Abbot said he'd send me to complete my training at the Eastern Air temple' Aang ended, in expressionless voice.

'That's awful, Aang. I don't know what to say...'

And it was true: I didn't. I was only now beginning to realise how simplistic my view – everyone's view – on becoming an Avatar really was. I had always thought that being an Avatar was having these really great and even mysterious abilities that enabled you to help people and gain their gratitude and respect.

Of _course _there would be a price to pay on a personal level – I hadn't seen that before. And for Aang, that price was a sacrifice that no-one should be made to pay.

I reached out my hand towards him for he was sunk in his thoughts again, a dark look on his face, but he twisted away from me and got up, sending Momo skittering off.

'How could they do that to me?!' he cried angrily, his hands balled into fists, 'They wanted to take away everything I knew and everyone I loved!'

His voice echoed around the chamber, the hurt and despair and anger as raw now as they had been a hundred years ago. His face screwed up in fury at the memory and the air inside the cavern started swirling around him menacingly, his tattoos starting to glow.

I knew that like what happened at the Southern Temple, his Avatar spirit had been triggered, but unlike that occasion, this time it had been triggered by anger. I admit I was alarmed, especially as the fire in front of me blazed suddenly higher for the whirlwind Aang had started fanned its flames, showering me with hot cinders.

I think I must've cried out, for next second he had snapped out of it.

It couldn't have lasted more than a few minutes, but it was frightening: not only because of the taste of the deadly power of an Avatar, but because for those few minutes I seemed to have lost Aang. As had happened in the Southern Temple, he seemed to go in a place where I cannot follow, and I couldn't reconcile the fun-loving, good-natured Aang I know, to the one in an incandescent rage, surrounded by the blazing tornado.

I knew he was there, but I suppose his past lives are showing through – other Avatars, great and powerful benders... but I just wanted Aang back.

I think some of the shock must've shown on my face for the glow died away and a second later, his shoulders slumped and he came and sat down near me again.

'I'm sorry I got so mad,' he said in a subdued voice.

I felt so bad for him: what could do or say to soften the blow of that rejection, when it had happened so long ago? I thought being sent away was distressful enough, but then Aang told me that wasn't exactly what happened.

'I found Monk Gyatso soon afterwards,' Aang said with downcast eyes and a return of that troubled expression I had seen earlier, 'and told him I wasn't budging from the Air Temple. I think he was trying to tell me he'd stop them, but I didn't give him a chance to speak, I just ran off closed myself in my room. I was afraid and confused. I didn't know what to do...'

'I could see all the other kids playing the Air scooter game from my bedroom window: they had no war or stupid Avatar business to bother them- they were _normal._ I guess at that time, that's all I wanted to be, so when evening came, I left note to Monk Gyatso on my bed and snuck out to the Bison stables. I saddled Appa and took off, heading out to sea,' he paused, but did not look up. 'I never saw Gyatso again,' he ended.

There was only the crackling of the fire as the echoes of his words reverberated round the cave and then died down, and I slowly realised what he was telling me. Then he continued:

'I didn't have a fixed idea where I was going but then a storm overtook us – a really bad one. Appa was struggling 'cos the wind was so strong, and then lightening hit the sea, barely missing us. It sent Appa plunging downwards and suddenly, we were both under water - really far down, 'cos Appa's momentum drove us deep beneath the surface. I felt a strange sensation, but then everything went dark,' Aang's eyes finally came up momentarily to mine, 'Next thing I knew, I was waking up in your arms after you found me in the iceberg.'

Then he fell silent, huddled in a ball before the fire, looking at those distant memories, and suddenly I recognised the expression that I had seen so often on his face in recent days : it was a _guilt_.

'You ran away,' Everything suddenly fell into place: Aang's strange reserve about his past; Appa's fear of lightening, Aang's the storm-triggered nightmares...

Aang closed his eyes momentarily, as if that could block out the memories, and when he opened them again the look in them was hard:

'I know who Sozin was looking for, Katara,' his eyes flickered momentarily to mine, then back again quickly, but not before I saw the pain and anguish there, 'I know now why he was amassing those armies and which nation was targeted first: Sozin was looking for the Avatar! He was looking for _me_!'

I bit my lip. This is what I had been afraid of. 'Aang, I- '

'And I know you tried to spare me these details, Katara,' he continued, 'But I'd figured it out back at the Southern Temple, that's why I was so ...so... upset! The rest was easy to confirm, simply by asking people on our travels... It was all my fault! The Air Nomads were wiped out because of _me_!'

'The Air Nomads were wiped out because of one man's crazy, selfish ambitions, Aang! _Sozin _was to blame!'

'Sozin harnessed the comet's power and then the Fire Nation attacked our temple. My people needed me and I wasn't there to help'

'You don't know what would've –'

'The world needed me and I wasn't there to help.'

'Aang...'

'The fisherman was right! I _did_ turn my back on the world.'

I had never seen such a hard, guilt-ridden look on such a young face before. This was worse than I had ever imagined. I knew Aang would've felt bad to know Sozin targeted his people because he wanted the Avatar, but I hadn't known that Aang had run away. He was feeling doubly guilty now and I didn't know what to say to make him feel better. I could not sugar-coat any of the wrongs, but neither could I let him beat himself about it.

'You're being too hard on yourself' I said sincerely, 'Even if you did run away, I think it was meant to be. If you had stayed you would have been killed along with all the other air benders.'

_And I would never have got to know you_ a small voice whispered in my head. It was true, As much as I abhorred the war and unnecessary suffering, I knew, selfishly, that now I couldn't contemplate life without Aang, and if things had gone differently: if he hadn't run away, he might very likely have been killed by Sozin, and the world would have no Avatar.

It was meant to be this way. I knew it and I told him so. It was _now_, in this present day and age that the world needed the Avatar. He would be better prepared now, than he was a 100 years ago, and from what I had already seen on my travels, it was perfectly fitting that the worlds' hopes were pinned on this Avatar. On Aang. I spoke with conviction, for I knew in my heart that I was right, and finally I saw Aang's expression clear slightly and there was even the barest shadow of a smile, when suddenly a shout for help came from the mouth of the cave.

It was the old Fisherman's wife. She said her husband and Sokka still hadn't come back and the storm was working itself into a typhoon.

Aang didn't hesitate and neither did I. While we were talking we hadn't realised how bad the storm had become, and my brother was right there in the middle of it!

It took us a while to find them: the sea had been whipped into giant waves that on one occasion even crashed over us for Appa couldn't gain altitude fast enough, but finally Aang spotted the fishing boat, barely afloat on the wave-tossed sea. Thank the spirits that be, Sokka and the old man were still there! Aang jumped lightly down, secured both to a rope and they were hauled back onto Appa's back.

That's when we saw it: a wave that towered high above iron-grey sea, stretching further and further upwards towards the leaden sky. I shrieked: we would never escape the raw power of that curling wave. I felt Appa heave forward, trying to outrun it with a low growl of despair, then all went dark and cold and I lost orientation as the wave broke over us and we tumbled around and around in its currents. In a vague sense of self-preservation I clung to Appa's saddle, not wishing to be separated from the others.

Not that I was thinking too clearly beyond the shock of what had just happened.

Then we stopped tumbling and sank deeper beneath the sea. After the howling rage of the storm everything became eerily quiet. I opened my eyes and saw Sokka and the old man clinging to Appa's saddle, Aang had let go of the reins... but I needed air: my lungs were screaming for air and I knew I would lose consciousness soon... perhaps it would be better to let go the saddle and try and reach the surface...

Then, from the corner of my eye I saw a light: bright white and luminous, Aang's tattoos were glowing and I could see his water-distorted figure back on Appa's back, his two hands forming a blur of light as he brought his fists together. There was an explosion of light that expanded outwards, surrounding us. For one confused moment I wondered whether we'd be frozen in an iceberg: I wasn't thinking very clearly, but then the ball of light – or energy - encased us.

It was the weirdest sensation: I cannot describe it: like a sort of cold heat, if such a thing existed. It flowed around and about us all and Appa too. We sank thankfully back on the saddle and gasped in lungfuls of air. Next thing we were shooting upwards towards the surface: whether it was Aang bending the water or the strange energy shield, I don't know ( nor did Aang really, when I asked him later).

All I know is that Appa burst through the surface of the water and flew skyward in a vertical climb as though he couldn't get far away enough form the sea. I struggled forward to see if Aang was alright. He seemed to have come out of the Avatar state and was looking down fixedly at something on the surface of the sea. I followed his gaze and saw what he was looking at: Zuko's ship!

I half-expected a fireball or two to come our way, but nothing did, and this time we made it back safely to cave where we'd left the fisherman's wife.

'That - that was amazing Aang, you saved us all.' I said, and then lowering my voice 'it sure was a lucky day for us when we found you in the icberg. Like Gran Gran said: it was meant to be!'

'Thanks Aang, I owe ya one!' Sokka said lightly, shivering a bit in his wet clothes.

The old man was not so grateful at first and he wanted to pay Sokka with one fish. However, his wife came down on him like a ton of bricks and while those three were arguing, Aang spoke to me again, saying he was done with dwelling on the past, and what would've happened if he hadn't run away. He said he would make the most of the here and now.

I was glad he'd taken that attitude. There is so much to do that still lies ahead of us that dwelling on past mistakes can be worse. I'm proud that he's decided to put all that behind him, but something tells me that he will never quite forget those traumatic events.

Strangely enough, I think he really cheered up when the old Fisherman apologised – I could see it meant a lot to Aang

'Thank you for saving my life, Avatar', the old man said simply.

What is more, though the old couple had just lost their ship they were kind enough to offer us shelter for the night and some food, mainly salted fish and seaweed cake to take with us for the rest of our journey.

The storm has passed now and the night is starry bright and clear, the sky washed clean by the rain. We're sheltering in a large shed full of the nets and fishing tackle. It smells familiarly of the sea and though sparse, is quite dry and warm. Due to our submergence, all our bedrolls and other gear has got wet so Sokka has hung it up in front of the fire to dry. The air is redolent with wet-bison smell, but Aang is completely oblivious. He's curled up on what must be a rather uncomfortable lumpy pile of fishing-boat rope, asleep.

Sokka's snoring noisily near the fire and I'm writing the last few notes of this remarkable day in my scroll. Both this and my waterbending scroll survived the rain and sea because they are tightly sealed in their containers,

There is also another reason why I wanted to stay up late: but looking over at where Aang is lying I can't help smiling as I see his chest rise and fall in a slow steady rhythm. He won't be having those nightmares again.


	13. Chapter 13

**57 th day of our journey: we continue flying in a North-westerly direction, going further inland in the hope that Prince Zuko, who had glimpsed us during the storm, would not follow us. The Fisherman and his wife gave us provisions for a few days, but we have decided on an early stop at the abandoned town of Taku, because Sokka isn't feeling all that well. **

**Taku is very typical of an Earth Kingdom city: it seems earthbended out of the very rock of a high hill or small mountain. It must have been a magnificent and rich city once, like Omashu, but is now in ruins. Ruins pock-marked with the signs of Earthbender battles. **

**The weather continues to be unsettled, grey clouds cover most of the sky and the milder climate near the sea has given way to a biting cold, with nightly frosts turning the leaves and ponds white in this mountainous part of the Earth Kingdom.**

If I remember correctly, Taku was one of the first Earth Kingdom cities to be attacked after the Air Temples, because it was an important city for trade. My father used to recount stories he'd heard from his own grandfather about the great voyages of the Southern Water Tribe ships to that great city in the days before the war made it too dangerous.

It lies in ruins now. We found shelter in a large, arcaded hall and Aang went off to explore the city, while I stayed behind with Sokka who wasn't feeling too well. Being out in the storm the day before yesterday must've chilled him, for he hadn't even been dressed for it.

I quickly built a fire cos Sokka was shivering and coughing. He even refused the preserved fish that the old fisherman had given us. I knew then, that my brother was really ill. By evening he was running a high fever.

'Appa'll keep him warm,' Aang suggested.

He had come back with a few odd items and a refill of water for my water skin.

'That's a good idea, Aang, the nights are getting really cold,' I said.

'It _is _winter,' he remarked.

'I'm not sleeping on a 10-ton bison's foot!' Sokka grumbled, eyeing Appa blearily, 'What if he rolls over?'

'Appa's very careful, Sokka,' Aang said, dragging my brother's sleeping bag over to Appa, 'That's where I always sleep when it's cold.'

Sokka's terse answer was cut off by a violent fit of coughing.

It took some persuading, but finally we managed to induce a cranky Sokka into his sleeping bag and onto Appa's legs, and I prepared some hot tea.

Aang fell asleep almost immediately, untroubled by nightmares now, but as for me, I cannot sleep.

I have a feeling that this is no ordinary cold, and Sokka will need me during the night. I remember Gran Gran once said that in the Southern Water Tribe, even a common cold can turn nasty. She had said because of our relatively isolated life, resistance to some illnesses is rather low, which is why she used to spend a lot of time and effort in producing medicines like the Blubber-and-Pepper berry paste, and the Tiger Seal skin poultice and the Hadosa seaweed foments.

Even as I'm writing this, I can see Sokka tossing and turning in his sleeping bag. I swear, Appa's the gentlest and most patient creature of all time to tolerate someone who's constantly wiggling around on his legs! I've been up several times already to give him water for he is burning with fever now.

I might as well stay awake: I've got a lot to think about - Aang's story for one: I haven't had much time to think about that since the storm.

I think it will be a long night.

**59 th day of our journey. My brother and I are both recovering from a bad cold so we have decided to stay here one day longer. It could have been much worse, but an old woman at the Herbalist institute nearby told Aang about the medicinal properties of the frozen slime of hibernating Wood Frogs. **

**The unorthodox treatment has worked and we should soon be well enough to resume the journey.**

Actually I did not do much thinking about anything the night before yesterday because I started feeling a bit off myself. My throat hurt and I felt dizzy, but as soon as it was morning I put a brave face on and told Aang to see if he could find some Ginger root, for Sokka had taken a turn for the worse during the night. His fever had worsened and he was delirious.

Aang came back with a map instead of the ginger root. He said there was a Herbalist Institute in the mountains nearby and we could find a cure there. But I knew Sokka was in no condition to move.

That's when I started coughing.

I tried to make light of it, but Aang wasn't fooled. He grew alarmed and was all for jumping onto his glider and going off to search for a cure right away.

A sudden bolt of lightning from the leaden skies made him think better of the idea, and he decided to go on foot. (I think, perhaps, lightning has come too close for comfort too many times these last few days...)

Aang disappeared and I was left on my own listening to Sokka's ranting. I looked at the map Aang had found. The herbalist institute was on the distant mountain range I could see through the ruined arches of our shelter. It would only be a few hours journey for Aang for I knew he could run like the wind, but still, I hated being separated, especially with Zuko so close to our trail.

However, once he was gone, I did hope he'd find a cure. For Sokka first and foremost, but even for me.

I hate being sick.

Well, everyone does, of course, but I always want to be the one _giving_ the care to someone who's sick, not the other way around. That's what I'm used to.

I hated feeling so helpless.

Another thing that was kinda worrying me was the delirious fever. Given the rubbish Sokka had been spouting, I couldn't imagine what _I'd_ be saying. It would be downright embarrassing if Aang were there to witness it! I knew I had to try and keep my wits about me.

Problem was, my wits were becoming increasingly befuddled, and my head heavier as the day wore on.

I had no idea of the time that had passed but I started to feel vey cold, and not even my fur-lined coat could warm me. I joined Sokka on Appa and tried to rest, for every time I moved I became very dizzy. Sokka was very thirsty for he had finished all our supply of water. Aang had found a water fountain somewhere in this ruined city but I had no idea where. I gave my water skin to Momo, hoping he'd understood my instructions to find water from the river. I didn't dare go anywhere myself because I knew I'd probably faint before I ever got there.

Then I lay back and waited. My throat was on fire and my mouth was parched, but when Momo came back, chittering happily, all he had to offer was a dead Meadow Vole.

And so it continued.

Every time I heard Momo's excited chittering I got my hopes up – only to be disappointed again when he brought back some other useless trinket from these ruins - vast supply of broken and old things.

The sky outside was still grey but I could see it was darkening. I guessed it was close to evening. Aang should've been back by now, for he'd been away a whole day. I was worried, but didn't even have the strength to take off a tiara Momo dropped on my head.

At least, I still had my wits about me – Sokka definitely hadn't. He kept calling me 'Your Highness, and forgot who Aang was.

I think I didn't quite cave in to the delirium because I was worried about Aang. Even if he didn't find the Herbalist Institute, he should've come back to tell us.

And get us water.

I really, _really,_ wanted some water.

I think it may have been the dehydration or maybe a faint brought on by the fever or maybe I just drifted off to sleep, but for a while I blacked out and then, the next thing I know was the blessed cold sensation of water in my mouth.

Only it wasn't water, it was an icicle or a lump of snow.

It soothed my inflamed throat immediately and tasted a bit odd: like overripe bananas. It was some time before it dawned on me that it hadn't snowed yet, and overripe bananas were not usually frozen.

As my half-dazed brain slowly fought its way to consciousness I heard Aang's name:

'Aang, how was your trip? Did you make any new friends?' I heard my brother ask.

'No, I don't think I did,' came a subdued answer from somewhere at Appa's back.

_Aang?!_ He was back!

I blinked my eyes open, and at that same instant I felt a strange sensation in my mouth. The icicle had melted and turned soft and squishy.

Then the icicle started moving.

I opened my mouth in alarm and as my eyes adjusted to the morning light I saw the back end of a frog protruding from my mouth.

I shrieked in disgust and could hear Sokka's previously contented sucking turn to horror too. We spat the frogs out and if I could, I would've brushed my mouth out with soap!

It must've been Aang who put them there.

I remember vaguely being told to suck on something, but was too dazed to know or care what it was.

I bounced out of my sleeping bag, as Sokka made gagging noises behind me: I could _taste_ the slime in my mouth! Over-ripe banana indeed!

I whirled round, looking for Aang.

He had his back to me and was curled up on Appa's long tail, apparently asleep.

'Aang, did you just shove frogs down our throats?' I asked angrily.

'Yeah. Some time ago,' he mumbled sleepily, not even moving an inch from where he lay, 'Told ya the frozen frogs'd do you good. The plum blossoms were for Miyuki, and now I gotta sleep. Tell you later...' and with that unintelligible statement, his voice was lost in sigh.

It was then that it dawned on me that I was feeling much better. My head felt a bit light, but apart from that I was fine. I wasn't even thirsty.

Sokka was much better too, but he was using his new-found energy to scrape away at his tongue and complain in a muffled voice.

'I can feel it right at the back of my throat Katara: tastes like frog-spawn!'

'How do you know what frog-spawn tastes of?'

'I just _know_, ok? It tastes like slime! What was Aang thinking of, jamming those things down our throats?'

'I dunno. But actually, I feel really better, Sokka, perhaps those frogs helped.'

'Aang was the guy who turned his nose up at the Blubber and Pepper-berry paste! Then he makes me _suck frogs_! _Ugh_! Look... aaah! Can you see anything down my throat?'

I spent the next half-hour peering down my brother's throat and reassuring him there was nothing there. The taste remained, but someone must have told Aang about the wood frogs. Perhaps this 'Miyuki'.

'I swear I can still feel it wriggling!' Sokka whined.

'That's all in your mind, now quit whining or you'll wake up Aang! I think he's been up all night!'

'Up all night catching wood frogs!'

I hadn't noticed immediately but Aang's hands and feet were caked with mud, and the short cape around his shoulders seemed torn. That was unusual in itself, for Aang rarely remained dirty for long. He must have been really tired to fall asleep without airblasting that mud off. That's why I suspected he'd been up all night.

I sent Sokka off to get the water Momo was supposed to have brought. It was only then I remembered the tiara on my head. I took it off and started to sort out the numerous odds and ends Momo had cluttered up the place with. Perhaps some of it could be used to trade for food in the next inhabited town we came across.

Aang slept straight till midday, never moving from the curled up position he was in. Appa, like the gentle giant he was, did not budge and let his young master sleep on, even though he must have been aching to stretch his six legs!

In the meantime, Sokka came back with water -he had found a crumbling water fountain further up in the ruins and I brewed some warm tea. Sokka felt better after some breakfast and I even convinced him that something in the frogs skin must have broke the fever. It couldn't have been otherwise. Sokka grudgingly agreed but still insisted I peer down his throat every half-hour, in case he was hatching some new amphibian-borne disease!

Finally Aang stirred and woke up.

'Hi, glad to see you're better!' he said as he came over by the fire and I handed him a warm cup of tea.

'I'm still tasting frog after _four_ cups of tea!' Sokka griped.

'Uh... yeah sorry about that, but she said the frog's skin excretes a substance that would cure you!'

' 'She' who? Miyuki?' I asked.

'No. That's her cat. There was a crazy old woman at the Herbalist Institute. She sent me to get the Wood Frogs from the swamp by the river.'

'It sure took you long, Aang. I was getting worried...'

'Well...uh... it took me some time to find the frogs,' he said, looking uncomfortable 'Oh ... and I managed to freeze the water I bended, Katara!'

'Great, Aang!' I had been trying to teach him that for weeks now. But something told me he had just been eager to change the conversation.

'Though it might have been that the swamp water was already half-frozen already,' he continued modestly.

'So you stayed playing around with waterbending while we were lying sick back here?' Sokka said with a scowl.

'Shut up, Sokka! You weren't so keen on the frogs anyway!'

'Ok, ok, I'm sure the frozen frogs put up a tough battle, judging by the looks of you!'

Aang looked down at caked mud on his torn clothes. He wouldn't be able to airbend that lot off easily!

'Yeah, well there're lots of thorns on the way to the swamp, and…look - I gotta go and wash off. Where'd you say the fountain was, Sokka?'

'I'll show ya! I wanna explore this place now I feel much better. Look at all the stuff Momo got back! Who knows? There might be hidden treasure.'

'Good luck with that,' I said as they left and I turned to continue sifting through the junk the lemur had got.

After a while, Aang came back, his clothes clean, but still torn.

'D'you want me to mend those tears, Aang?'

He looked down doubtfully at the rips and tears. 'No- I don't want to put you through the trouble –'

'It's no trouble, Aang. Hardly likely we'll come across new Airbender clothes. C'mon – give your shirt here.'

He hesitated a moment then stripped off his shirt and handed it to me.

'I won't be a moment,' I said as Aang settled down by the fire.

Most of the tear marks were around the short cape and sleeves, but now that I got a closer look at them, I saw they were neither rips nor tears. I had seen this kind of damage before: fabric cleanly slit like this was usually due to a spear or knife thrust, or arrows.

I looked up, meaning to ask Aang where on earth he'd been all night long, but something in his expression stopped me.

He was looking at the fire with the same hard look on his face that I had seen a few nights ago when he was speaking about the monks' decision to send him away from the temple.

'This is really great fabric, Aang, soft, yet hard-wearing. It would be a pity to leave it torn. I noticed it helps in airbending…' I decided to start with some mundanities.

'Hmmm? Oh…. that.,' he seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts, 'Yeah, it's designed to catch the wind. All airbenders-in-training wore it. Helps when you're falling, -cushioning your fall is one of the first things Air bender kids learnt, obviously.'

'Is that what you were thinking about?' I prodded gently, as I threaded my needle, 'The Airbenders?'

Something shifted behind his eyes and he looked back at the fire.

'No. Just how things have changed in a hundred years.'

I remembered trying to tell him that, way before we arrived at the Southern Air Temple. He hadn't really wanted to listen then.

'A hundred years is a long time, Aang. But I think some things have remained the same. You recognised your friend Bumi, and Omashu is nothing like this place.' I waved my hand at the broken ruin around us. 'Omashu's thriving!'

'Yeah, you're right, Katara. I guess some things are pretty resistant to change. Bumi's like that.'

He brightened up considerably at the mention of his friend Bumi, and I turned back to my needlework. I had to concentrate, for I wanted to be as careful as when I mended his glider, and that meant very tiny, precise, stitching. I wondered whether his answer to Sokka's question about making new friends had anything to do with his unusually quiet mood. Had he found more evidence of friends long-gone last night?

And I knew the torn clothing couldn't have been caused by thorns. He was keeping quiet about something, and I didn't know what it was.

But I think he knows he can trust me enough to tell me when in his own time, if anything really bad happened. I have not breathed a word to Sokka about what Aang told me in the cave. He needs someone to understand and not be judgemental. What happened a hundred years ago will be our secret.

Aang has had so much to deal with in these last few months. It took me years to accept that my mom is dead, and still miss her so terribly. Aang has to accept that _his whole race_ is dead, and what's more: I know now that he blames himself for what happened. I wasn't sure before, but I am now.

I knew all that guilt was tearing him apart and even though I don't think he can ever really forget it, I hope sharing the burden has made it a bit easier to bear. I would give anything to erase the past, but I cannot. And it hasn't escaped my notice that what happened in the storm a hundred years ago almost repeated itself two days ago - when that huge wave submerged us and triggered Aang's Avatar state, for one hazy moment, I thought we'd all end up as a giant Iceberg, but we didn't. Aang's past lives – or whatever it is that governs that strange state- did not freeze Aang into an iceberg again, but simply ensured that Aang saved himself and us. I can't help thinking that this confirms what I told him back in the cave – Aang's with us now because it was simply _meant to be._

I looked up from my needlework then and glanced over at Aang who was a few feet away by the fire, only to find him looking back at me with such a wistful, sad expression, that I put my needle down.

'A- Aang?'

He gave a small start and looked away, blushing in confusion.

'Hey, the hundred years are over. No more change now. You're stuck with us!' I said, smiling reassuringly.

I couldn't understand what was on his mind, but I was thinking back on what he'd said. At least, this time round, there wouldn't be anyone trying to separate him from whatever family life we could provide him with.

'_I'm_ the lucky one. Thanks, Katara,' he said, with a meaningful look, 'for everything!'

I smiled at him and resumed my work, knowing that every time I'd look up I'd find his eyes following every tiny movement of the needle as it went in and out in and out of the fabric. I don't think he's interested in the needlework, but perhaps observing these silly little everyday rituals assures him of the relative sanity in a world of uncertainty.

Or perhaps I'm reading too much into these things. I've caught Aang staring at me with a kind of bemused expression before - it's not the first time. Perhaps because of what he confided in me, our friendship is that slight bit more different now.

I guess I over-analyse things. Gran Gran _did_ say Sokka and I were growing old before our time, so I suppose I should just go easy and be there for Aang and my brother when, or if, they need me.

'Here you go. Done!' I said eventually, cutting the thread with my teeth and handing it to Aang, who was still sitting bare-chested by the fire.

He put the shirt over his head and wriggled into it.

'Good as new!' he said delightedly, hugging it to him.

'Oh, look - there's Sokka! Loaded with junk, too.' I pointed at the back of the ruined hall.

'Yeah – about that: I think we should make an early start tomorrow, if you both feel better' Aang said, uncharacteristically anxious, 'Zuko's bound to have picked up our trail again.'

'How could he have? Last time he saw us we were both stuck in the middle of a storm out at sea.' Sokka dumped a bunch of old broken stuff on the floor.

'Yeah, well, I ...uh... have a feeling he's close.'

'Say no more, Arrowboy. We'll get going tomorrow at dawn. Besides, I've got a good feeling about this Earth kingdom stuff: I think it'll fetch a good price on the flea market!'

The sun has set behind the grey clouds now and it is getting dark. Sokka spent hours trying to tie all the stuff he's salvaged onto Appa's saddle. Appa will look like an overloaded market stall when we fly to the next town tomorrow.

Sokka's asleep now, for the fever has left us both a bit weak, but I've seen Aang sneak up to Appa and quietly and methodically dump half of Sokka's 'treasures', so Appa can fly better.

Suppressing a grin, I got out my scroll to write today's events. Nothing much really happened but somehow, it seems as though it has. I'm tired now, but the frog cure worked and I'm looking forward to a new day tomorrow.


	14. Chapter 14

**61 st day of our journey. We have been journeying west for some time. It is a bit far from our ultimate goal of the North Pole, but our route has to depend on where to get provisions and where we can best avoid Fire-Nation- occupied villages or towns. This morning, a strange encounter with a traveller and a Platypus Bear convinced us (the Avatar and I, not my brother) to visit a remote village called Makapu, on the slopes of a volcano. I suppose it was done on a whim, but in the end, I think it was fortunate for Makapu that we were there.**

**The villagers set great store on the words of Madame Wu, a fortune-teller. By reading the clouds, she predicted whether the volcano that looms over the village would erupt or not. Only this time, she read the clouds wrong. She said it wouldn't erupt, yet my brother and the Avatar found out that the crater was filling with lava, and an eruption was imminent.**

**The villagers were finally convinced of their danger when the Aang and I re-shaped the clouds to read the true prediction. Then Sokka organised everyone – especially the Earth benders - to dig a deep trench around the whole village to re-direct the lava flow away.**

**It seemed to work for a while, but then we realised the trenches would overflow. In the end, it was the Avatar who saved the village by a magnificent feat of airbending: creating an enormous wind shield, he managed to raise a huge tidal wave of molten lava that hardened into a giant black wall that diverted the rest of the flow away from the village.**

Something very weird happened today – and I don't mean the volcano – something I totally didn't expect, and now can't stop thinking about.

It's something the Fortune-teller said…

It's pretty insignificant compared to an erupting volcano, so obviously I'm not writing it down in the formal journal, but it's also something very personal that may, or may not, change the rest of my life...

It happened at Makapu village. We'd been travelling in a westerly direction because Sokka insisted on finding a market to sell the stuff we found at the abandoned city of Taku, so after some time we found a market that was not riddled with Fire Nation soldiers either occupying it or on their way to Ba Sing Se. There, to my surprise, Sokka's junk fetched a good price, and finally we have a few coins to spend. My tiara would have fetched a bit more, but I decided not to sell it for now and to keep it for a rainy day

So we really didn't _need_ to go to Makapu. We were camped by a mountain river, and a chance encounter with a man from that village calmly facing an enraged Platypus Bear, intrigued us. Aang was about to intervene, but Appa's roar scared the creature away. The stranger explained a fortune-teller called Aunt Wu, from his village, predicted he'd have a safe journey, which, I suppose, he _did_ have in the end – what's more: acting on Aunt Wu's instructions, the man gave us a wrapped gift. Aang opened it up revealing an umbrella and no so sooner had he done so, then the skies opened and rain started pouring down.

In my mind, that was very strong proof of the strength of Aunt Wu's predictions, and I joined Aang under the umbrella, but Sokka would not be convinced that the future could be foretold, so he trudged along in the pouring rain as we made our way to Makapu village, for I wouldn't let him join us under the umbrella, unless he admitted that such things could be.

'You're travelling with the Avatar, Sokka – Aang can speak to spirits, and there've been so many mysterious things happening! You've _seen_ them! How can you not believe someone has the gift of seeing the future?

'Speaking to Spirits and foretelling the future are two different things!'

'Just because some things cannot be explained logically, doesn't mean they're not true!' I retorted, 'Aunt Wu said it would rain.'

'Of course she predicted it was gonna rain. The sky's been gray all day'.

'Just admit you might be wrong, and you can come under the umbrella.'

But I knew he wouldn't – which was just as well, for there was just space for me and Aang beneath it.

'Look, I'm going to predict the future now –' Sokka said, sarcastically– "it's going to keep drizzling'.'

The words were hardly out of his mouth when the rain stopped. Aang, who was holding the umbrella, moved it backwards and we both peered up at the sky as the sun broke out from behind the clouds.

I grinned at my brother. As Aang said, some people just don't have the gift, and Sokka's feet are too firmly planted on the ground to believe in anything that cannot be scientifically or logically explained.

As for me, I was becoming increasingly eager to meet this Aunt Wu. I had just thought it a bit of fun earlier, but it already seemed that fate – or something just as mysterious - was playing a hand here.

When we arrived at the village we asked for directions and headed straight for Aunt Wu's house. Her bodyguard said she was expecting us and we were ushered in. Soon, a cute little girl with large braids introduced herself as Aunt Wu's assistant and got us some refreshments. I couldn't wait to get inside, and when finally Aunt Wu appeared – a tall imposing lady dressed in ornate gold and yellow robes, I jumped up, for the other two didn't seem interested.

I was shown inside a large, darkened room with a canopied central depression where the readings were carried out.

'Well, what is it you want to know, my dear?' she said, as we sat down on cushions with the central fire between us 'Who you're going to marry?'

'Uh... no. I mean ...yes. I dunno. I haven't thought about what, exactly...'

'Most young girls your age would like to know who they will share their lives with,' Aunt Wu said, with a knowing smile, 'After all, many girls are betrothed at sixteen, and you look close enough...'

'I'm fourteen, Aunt Wu.'

'Yes, well, unlike boys, many girls reach their full height already at your age, and I dare say for some girls, even a high level of maturity. Something tells me you're the latter kind, so maybe it is time you think about your romantic life, Katara ...'

Wow, did I even tell her my name?

Sokka would probably say she overheard it or something, but I'm ready to believe differently. And, now that she mentioned it, yes, I guess I'd been secretly hoping she'd tell me something about love...

I think that during the short time, weeks ago, when I thought Jet liked me, - that feeling has had a bigger impact on me than I'd care to admit. Not for Jet –I'm well over him now, but somehow, that experience has opened up a well of longing in me – a wish for something, or some_one_ to fill the void left behind. I guess I've been too scared to admit it to myself, for fear that by doing so, I'll let myself be vulnerable to people like Jet again. But subconsciously, I think I've been yearning for romance, even though at the time, I was very adamant I'd forget all about it...

And now that Aunt Wu mentioned it, I wanted to know who this mysterious man in my future is going to be. I think I already had a couple of ideas myself. If I'm supposed to marry this guy, than he definitely can't be anything like Jet: smooth-talking and treacherous. My future husband has to be someone sweet and most important_: sincere_.

'Give me your hand, my dear,' Aunt Wu was saying, 'The hand is the instrument of your mind and we can find our lives mapped on its surface...'

I complied.

'Your palms are so smooth – do you use moisturizer?' she remarked as she gently turned my hand this way and that.

'Actually, I have this special seaweed lotion. I could get you some if you want.'

That was true. I had got it the day I bought my water skin. The latter was Water-tribe-made for I recognised the craftsmanship. The merchant who sold it to me had other similar odds and ends including the Sea Weed lotion. I had bought some, for Gran Gran's supplies had long gone. I would pay Aunt Wu's fee with that, since she hadn't asked for any money.

But at that moment one question was burning in my mind:

'So, do you see anything interesting in my love line?'

There was the barest of pauses as Aunt Wu looked up from my hand and closed her eyes.

'I see great romance for you,' she said 'The man you're going to marry...'

She stopped again and opened her eyes looking at me with a strange expression.

'Tell me more!'

Why was she stopping _now_!?

'I can see that he is a very powerful bender.'

A bender? I was a bit surprised. I suppose I shouldn't have been - I'm travelling the world now, meeting different people, with the Northern Water Tribe as our destination. I was bound to meet plenty of benders.

I think given that there were no more benders left at the South Pole, it never occurred to me that I would _marry_ a bender. I would have been lucky to marry _at all_ back at the South Pole. Aunt Wu was still looking at me with a strange expression.

'A bender?' I repeated.

Aunt Wu's eyes dropped once more to my hand. Then she let it go, looked up at me and nodded slowly.

'Yes. A bender: And a very powerful one. Your love line is unusual, Katara.'

And with a small mysterious smile she stood up, indicating the session was over. I was still in a bit of a daze, but I followed her back out to where the other two were still waiting. Sokka's reading took little to work out, for Aunt Wu said it was written all over his face – and _boy_, didn't she get Sokka spot-on!

Then it was Aang's turn, and Aunt Wu led him away. I was still trying to get my head around Aunt Wu's words. I had gone from being the only waterbender at the South Pole with great dreams and ideals, but not much prospect for marriage, to actually _knowing_ who my future husband would be! When Aang returned he didn't want to tell me what his reading was, though he seemed happy about it. Being the Avatar, I guess that the reading was about him defeating Fire Lord Ozai.

'You'll find out,' he said.

I think I will. Aang is destined to bring this war to an end, so of course I'll find out. Just then, I noticed a huge crowd gathering around a raised canopied platform in the village square.

Apparently, Aunt Wu was going to read the clouds.

Now that was really exciting: the cloud reading would probably be about something more important than random girls' love-lives. Sure, my love-life is extremely important to me (my mind was still abuzz with Aunt Wu's words) but it was hardly world news!

I waited eagerly for her to take her place on the dais to much cheering and clapping, then she took out an old book and gazed up at the sky as everyone fell silent and waited with bated breath. I could see how the whole village admired and respected this lady - she wouldn't get that respect if her predictions were wrong, would she?

I think Aang was trying to read the clouds himself at that moment, for he mentioned something about flower-shaped clouds. I shushed him for the _real_ expert in cloud reading was about to speak. Aunt Wu predicted good crops and many other things, including the Volcano's continued dormancy, and at each prediction the crowd went wild, clapping and cheering at the good news so that I couldn't hear anything.

And there was something I wanted to hear very much indeed.

In fact it concerned Aang himself. I ran and pushed my way to the front of the crowd for I wanted to know whether she would predict anything about the hundred-year-war and its outcome. But I guess it wasn't written in the clouds, for Aunt Wu had finished her reading and retired back to her house.

But she hadn't finished with me.

I couldn't stop thinking about what she said:

A _bender_!

And if she could foretell whether Mount Makapu will blow its top or not, then surely she can give me some more _specific _details about the love of my life?

_Love-of-my-life_. Even thinking those words made me blush. I mean – I knew all that lies in the far future, but to know that one day I'm going to love someone so much is kinda awesome,( though hard to believe at this stage). And Aunt Wu mentioned a 'great romance'- now _that_ is something I've been secretly wanting to hear.

Falling in love is something that's recognised as wonderful the world over, so I'd love to know what this mysterious bender will look like.

It was barely midday when I returned back to know on Aunt Wu's door:

'About this man I'm supposed to marry ...' I asked her as soon as she opened the door, 'Is he gonna be handsome? Oh, I hope he's tall!

'Ahh, you want another reading,' she said, with an indulgent smile.

'Yes, please!'

So I found myself once more in the darkened room, my palm being scrutinised by the wise woman.

But she wouldn't tell me what my husband will look like.

'He will be both tall and handsome, but as for the rest – I'm not going to spoil the surprise,' she said, with a mysterious smile which was tantalising as well as infuriating.

'What will his character be like?' I tried again.

'My dear, character is malleable: in part, it will change and evolve with time, so I cannot read that with great accuracy, but I can see that your husband will be an upright man and an asset to the community.'

'You don't – you don't find anything – anything bad at all?'

Aunt Wu gave me a curious look and then looked at my palm again, 'There are troubled times in your future, times when you do not even recognise yourself, but through it all I see one shining constant: a love that is true. Trust your feelings, Katara: sometimes they are truer than what you yourself would ever want to believe.'

I didn't really understand what she meant, so I asked her something more straightforward:

'Will I have children?'

This time she didn't even look at my hand.

'Your future is connected with the number three. Just as you are three companions, and you have three family members, your life line here says you will have three children, all of whom will marry and have children of their own, and then your children's children will have sons and daughters before you die.'

'Whoa! That's awfully old. Tell me more.'

She mapped out my life for me. She didn't give more details than the number of children and grandchildren, but I thought that pretty good at the time, Apparently, I'm to die in my sleep after my _third_ great-grandson is born...

I was amazed.

Though I couldn't help wondering at the back of my mind, why she wouldn't give more specific details. I would've loved to know the _name_ of who I'm going to get married to... (Though that'd be really weird! D'you go up to the guy and tell him: Hi! You and I are gonna get married?! )

I think that I subconsciously started to doubt her words even then. I wanted to know silly thing like what to wear tomorrow: if she didn't get _that_ right, I would know right away, and that would throw doubt on the rest of her predictions. I don't know why I started doing that, because a part of me _wanted _her predictions to be true. But I went a bit too far and soon she was ushering me out of the door and slamming it behind me.

I wandered around the village for some time, my mind going over and over Aunt Wu's words. A bender: well, that narrowed down the possibilities a bit. We were going to the Northern Water Tribe: there were benders there. Would I meet my future husband in the north? It was quite possible, but the thought filled me with trepidation as well as excitement. After Jet, I had said I'd get to know someone well before falling for them. Would there be time enough? And anyway, can these things be planned and controlled? I certainly did not see the thing with Jet coming!

But what if it meant an _Earthbender_? Now that was a thought! We're in the Earth Kingdom after all (though the way we're constantly on the move would give me even less time to get to know anyone). And as for Firebenders: NEVER: completely out of the question: they're the _enemy_!

My thoughts were interrupted by Aang, who was behaving a bit oddly. I was buying the Papaya Aunt Wu advised me to get, when the thought struck me that she might have had a reason for telling me to get something I hate ( like the umbrella turned out to be so useful that morning) Perhaps there was some mysterious symbolism in the Papaya – or in the other stuff she told me. I left Aang at the stall and went quickly back to Aunt Wu's house, after depositing the papaya in our belongings.

This time however, I had to wait outside.

In fact, I waited for what seemed like _hours_, and finally Aunt Wu's bodyguard said she wouldn't read anymore fortunes and least of all, mine, because she said I already knew enough.

I was dumbfounded. Of course I didn't know enough: if my life was to be as long as she said it would be, then there'd be loads more to know!

It was then that Aang and Sokka came up saying they'd been up Mount Makapu's cone and at the rim of the crater.

They said it was going to explode!

An ominous rumble convinced me that Aunt Wu had read the clouds wrong. (That, and a niggling suspicion that perhaps Aunt Wu isn't infallible) I mean: what good could a tasteless papaya be for me? Perhaps cloud-reading is more subjective than the clear, definite, lines on your hand.

The villagers, however, would not be convinced that the prediction was wrong. I think, perhaps a bit like myself, they _wanted_ to believe that things were ok. Better that, than the horrible alternative.

Then Aang had the idea of bending the clouds to make them look like the prediction of volcanic eruption. For that we'd need Aunt Wu's old book on cloud interpretation so we kept watch while Aang airbended himself to the top of her house and snuck in through an open window.

It took him a while, but finally he came out with the old book under his arm and a flushed look on his face.

'Meng had it,' he said 'She knows what we're up to, I think.'

'Won't she tell Aunt Wu?' I asked, alarmed: we had just stolen her book!

'Nah, she'll keep her mouth shut,' Sokka replied, with a strange look at Aang 'Anything for the Avatar!'

Aang looked uncomfortable and didn't reply. I hoped Sokka was right - our ruse would fail if the young girl spilt the beans. But there was no more time to think. Aang airbended himself onto Appa and took the reins while I sat down in the saddle looking hurriedly through the thick book and many sketches of clouds.

It was early afternoon and though the sky was blue there were lots of fluffy white clouds at this altitude. Finally, I found it: the symbol of Volcanic doom: a grinning skull.

Aang whispered something in Appa's ear and then joined me on the saddle. We stood facing each other, and then started to bend the clouds: water and air, the two elements that Aang and I represented. Airbending and waterbending, we did not move in synchronicity, as we had done when I was teaching Aang waterbending, still, there was a simple harmony in our movements that bent the shape of the clouds to our one mind. Neither of us had done it before, and yet, it came very easily and naturally: just as air and water come together in natural affinity in clouds.

Thinking back, I wonder whether that, too, had something to do with Aunt Wu's words...

We finished just in time to see a small crowd gather in the village square as Sokka led Aunt Wu out to see our work, as we had previously agreed upon.

We landed Appa discreetly away from all the commotion in the village square and by the time we arrived there we found Sokka already shouting out instructions to the convinced villagers.

Not a minute too soon, because with a thunderous blast the cone of Mount Makapu exploded and spewed out hot lava and ash. Aang , Sokka and whoever was an earthbender in the village, ran outside the walls to create a huge trench to divert the lava flow from the village, while I went round the perimeter waterbending well-water onto the walls and outer houses to reduce the damage due to the searing heat of the lava's proximity.

We worked steadily, but even as we did, the crashing explosions from Mount Makapu grew louder and more frequent, and the early afternoon sky suddenly darkened as the huge column of ash and soot blotted out the sun. Only the reddish glow of the lava remained, and day had turned into a red-tainted night. Ash started drifting down, like black snow, on everything.

Finally, the trenches were dug and we gave the order to evacuate.

Aang, Sokka and I climbed up on the rim of the trench at the entrance to the village that faced Mount Makapu and waited for the lava to come. Sokka's plan _had_ to work! If not, this was Senlin village all over again, but this time the flood would be molten rock and the villagers would not even have anything to salvage except their lives!

Glowing red and oddly glutinous, the molten rock reached the village gates, igniting them. Then there were further explosions from the volcano that shook the ground we stood on: they were stronger than the last and a fresh wave of lava flowed down the mountain.

I could feel the heat of the approaching lava sear my face and hands. It was frightening: as though the whole earth was heaving and shaking in a paroxysm of fury. The lava finally flowed into the deep trench beneath us, slowly and inexorably burning everything in its path. I could feel the heat from the trench below us lifting my hair like a furnace.

'It's too much! It's gonna overflow!' I could hear the edge of fear in my voice.

As though to underscore my words, there was an almighty explosion from the crater and red hot boulders came flying towards us, whistling menacingly through the superheated air. They didn't quite reach us but landed in the lava flow sending red-hot gouts of the stuff spattering towards us.

The instinct of self-preservation kicked in and we turned and ran down the deserted street of the village, but I noticed Aang wasn't with us. I stopped and turned round. Sokka skidded to a stop too.

Aang hadn't moved from his post. He stood facing the huge tidal wave of lava as it flowed down the volcano's slope, its red-hot fluidity giving it a deadly momentum. He was just a tiny figure in yellow against a backdrop of hellish red.

What on earth was Aang doing there? Why didn't he MOVE?!

I was about to yell for him to airbend himself out of the way when with a great cry he ran _towards_ the blazing inferno, bending the air around him into a massive sphere. My heart almost stopped when, for an agonising moment, I saw the wave of lava rise straight upwards, hundreds of feet into the air, silhouetting Aang's figure. He then waved his arms in a circular motion and it seemed as though he had gathered the very winds that sweep the earth's surface, for he sent this massive sphere of air forcefully towards the lava, enhancing the motion by blowing it along as only an airbender can.

The wall of lava froze protestingly into creaking immobility as it cooled into rock. My brother and I gaped open-mouthed at the towering wall of lava. Its jagged edge looked like huge black fingers, reaching for the small village cowering beneath.

Wow!

I was staring at Aang as he assumed a calming meditation pose, when my brother spoke:

'Man, sometimes I forget what a powerful bender that kid is.'

_What?_ I gave a small start.

'Wait, what did you just say?'

'Nothing, just that Aang is one powerful bender.'

A strange sensation shivered through me, and I felt my eyes open wide as they gazed upon that small figure in the distance. I guess it was the shock of realisation:-

'..._one powerful bender_...'

Aang.

Could it possibly be? _Aang?!_

My eyes followed him as seconds later he jumped lightly down from the trench wall and joined us.

'Nice bending, Aang,' my brother said slapping him on the back, 'Your weird lava sculpture is awesome!'

'It'll divert the flow,' Aang said, mildly, 'but perhaps we should waterbend some water on the outer walls again or they'll ignite, Katara. Uh... Katara?'

'Huh?'

'Why're you staring at me like that?'

'I – what? I wasn't!' I lied, and to my dismay I started blushing furiously. Well, everything had a red tinge, so I guess no-one noticed. 'I'll do the left wall, you do the right,' I told him, to cover my confusion, and hurried off.

But even as I worked, my mind was in a whirl. There were many benders in the world, but _powerful_ benders were few. Aang was a powerful bender. He was also the _last _airbender.

But this was crazy! I'd known Aang for ... well, over two months now.

Could there have been signs I'd missed? Could there have been something I hadn't seen?

All this time we've been travelling together, I had got to know Aang well...

That thought reminded me of my earlier musings, and on my new resolutions regarding any future love-to-be...

_Love-to-be._

I felt myself turn as red as the volcano-tainted sky above, as I waterbended the water out of a well and onto the white-washed walls of the village.

But Aang was just a kid!

I had told him so that very morning!

Oh, Spirits – no, no, _no_!

I had _told him_ he was just a kid when he had woven me a necklace out of Sokka's fishing line, and Sokka was teasing him about -

Could _that_ have been one of the signs I'm missing? Or am I being a complete idiot? Aang is younger than I (if you discount the hundred years of suspended animation). Though it's not like a year or two make that much of a difference: it's just that I _feel _way older than I should. I suppose, that's why this morning, when he gave me the necklace and Sokka teased him about being in love, I called him 'just a good friend' and a sweet little guy, and patted his head just like I did Momo's! I cringed inwardly, but Aang had seemed awkward because of Sokka's teasing, so I also kinda wanted to put him at ease about it - my brother just does it to be a jerk, he doesn't really _mean_ it.

I don't even have the necklace anymore: Sokka had wanted it back to try and unravel it.

As I went about methodically wetting the outer walls of the village, my mind kept going over and over the small incident that morning. I hadn't really given it much thought at the time. Aang had seemed genuinely pleased to give me the necklace, but then, Aang is a nice guy: he could've been doing it just to be nice!

Then I remembered that he hadn't been the only one feeling a bit awkward this morning. I suddenly remembered I had felt a strange fluttery feeling as Aang's eyes swept up and down my body in admiration when I wore the necklace he wove for me.

That's when I suddenly came face to face with Aang.

We had been working around the wall and I had been moving backwards, dousing the wall with water from wells, barrels and water troughs the villagers had left behind for that purpose before they evacuated.

'Katara!'

I jumped on hearing my name and whirled round, a great globe of water poised above my head, my hands outstretched towards it. I forgot Aang had been doing the right wall and i the left, so we were bound to meet at some point. With the regular explosions from Mount Makapu, I hadn't heard him.

Now I found him standing inches away from me.

I had thought I couldn't blush any redder, but instead, I found that I could, and I did, as those gray eyes fixed on mine, looking slightly puzzled. The sphere of water above my head wobbled dangerously as my emotions went haywire.

'Katara?'

Aang looked dubiously at me and his eyes flickered momentarily to the sphere of water above our heads which was in imminent danger of disintegrating. He realised this and automatically brought his hands up to help me bend the water.

Then his eyes were looking down at me again, and I found I couldn't meet his gaze. I dropped my arms, for I could feel them trembling, but Aang had the water now. He bended it towards the wall, dousing the last dry bit.

'Are you ok, Katara?' he asked with concern in his voice, 'The danger's over now.' Probably he thought I was worried about the volcano.

'That wasn't what –. I... I mean, yeah, that's it,' I stammered, flustered.

Aang was clearly puzzled at my odd behaviour.

I was puzzled too. The realisation had come upon me too unexpectedly, I suppose.

'Uh ... we should help Sokka now,' Aang said 'He's just found some fires here and there caused by the flying rocks. That's what I was coming to tell you.'

'Right. I'll go find Sokka.'

I left at a run before I would make a fool of myself. I felt I needed some distance to work this one out, or at least to find out why I was making such a to-do about what might be nothing at all.

We doused all the fire and by that time it seemed that the worst of the explosions were over, and though the lava continued to flow, Aang's black concave wall around the village, like protective hands, held steady.

It is now very late at night, and the volcanoes rumblings have quietened down. Even the lava has slowed to a trickle that solidifies well before it reaches the village. We are camping outside on the mountain slopes with the villagers. They think that it will be safe to return to the village sometime tomorrow.

Sokka is arguing with the red-slippered man and Aang is sitting around the campfire with a group of villagers. They are all talking and laughing, but I got an excuse and left.

I have managed to control my emotions now so that I'm back to normal around Aang.

Almost back to normal.

My eyes kept darting too often to his animated face as he sat around the campfire, noticing how he wasn't the one to take any credit for saving the village, saying Sokka had the idea of the trenches, noticing that he was more eager to hear funny stories, than listen to the villagers' praise: they had seen what happened. (How could they not notice a hundred-foot wave of molten lava being solidified into a protective wall?). Noticing so many other little things ...

I was sure he'd catch me out if I kept staring, so I found a corner to carry out some therapeutic writing.

Whether Aunt Wu's predictions are real or not, they have planted in me the seed of something that has been growing steadily over the last few hours and try as I might, I can't get it out of my head.

I always knew Aang was special, since the very first day we found him in the iceberg, but this has made me see Aang through different eyes. I have never thought of Aang _that_ way.

Or have I?

I keep reminding myself he's just a kid.

But he is also a powerful bender, and the Avatar, and a _monk_, for goodness' sake! I don't even know what the latter's supposed to mean! I never asked. Much as I know Aang, there are a million things about his previous life that I'm ignorant about, (and I definitely AM NOT going to ask if monks are supposed to be celibate). That's kinda too personal, though I suppose, rather important, if I had to interpret Aunt Wu's words like that.

But then again, perhaps Aunt Wu meant some other random bender – a good one, like I'm sure I'll find at the North Pole. It can be ANYONE, so I just don't know why my mind is insisting on interpreting her words this way.

_It's because you _want_ to..._ a guilty voice keeps saying in my head.

But does Aang?

He didn't deny it when Sokka teased him about being in love, and he _did_ say I look good in the necklace he made for me, and looked kinda shy when he said it, but then what else could he say?

Perhaps I'm once again reading too much into this – seeing imaginary signs where there are none. After all, Sokka may be right and true fortune-telling does not really exist or is imprecise at best. And boys Aang's age aren't really interested in girls, are they? They're more interested in having fun, and Aang's no different, (Though in his case the 'having fun' bit usually involves something death-defyingly dangerous).

At least he is no different _most _times: at other times, and more frequently in recent weeks, the 'having fun' bit is taking more of a backseat in the light of recent events.

The villagers are going off to their tents to get some rest now, and I should too, but something tells me I won't be getting much sleep. There are a hundred reasons why I should stop thinking about this whole fortunetelling business and get my head out of the clouds, but Aunt Wu's words keep coming back to me, and I know that I'll be spending the night re-reading my scroll looking for signs that I am, indeed, destined to be with a great bender . _This_ great bender... Aang.


	15. Chapter 15

**63 rd day of our journey. We have left Makapu village and travelled in a North-westerly direction, keeping close to the shoreline, for this far north there aren't too many fire-nation-occupied villages. There are also fewer towns and villages. Possibly because we are getting close to the mountainous regions where the Avatar said the Northern Air Temple is situated. The mountainous terrain there will be difficult to cross and, for the most part, is uninhabited.**

**Although this region is relatively unoccupied by the enemy, Sokka discovered the traces of a battle between Water tribe and Fire nation soldiers near the shore. We found a beached and abandoned Southern Water Tribe ship, so we set camp there, only to be discovered by Bato, a warrior from our tribe.**

**Wounded in battle, he was left to recover in a nearby Abbey, and with the Nuns' permission, he kindly invited us to spend the night with him at the Abbey. **

It is so, so _restful_ to lie once more in a Southern Water Tribe tent. I hadn't realised I missed it so much – too many things have kept me more than busy - but when I entered Bato's tent it seemed like I had been transported back home: the sight, the smells and the soothing crackling of the fire in the fire pit brought back so many memories of what I had left behind, that I felt very a lump in my throat.

Our home used to smell like this: a sudden waft of warmth and comfort when you came in from the frozen ice and snow outside, to find a steaming hot bowl of Mom's cooking.

And Mom, of course.

That is what I had tried to re-create in the bleak time after her death, because the cosiness of our home had always been associated, in our minds, with my Mom's presence.

In fact, even as I lie here writing in the dying glow of the fire pit, I can't help thinking about her. I can just see her smiling at me as she kneels there, by the Fire Pit, stoking it with special coal made from dried seagrass.

'Never let the fire in the fire pit die, Katara' she used to tell me, 'it's the heart of the home.'

That's true: it is around the Fire Pit that every water tribe family gathers, to eat; talk, laugh and share stories – like we did earlier with Bato. It could almost have been like we were gathered there with our father, telling stories around the fire like we used to before he went away.

But Bato isn't our father.

Our father left us.

The ghost in my imagination turns to face another one:

'Our family has to stay together, Hakoda,' my mother says, her blue eyes shining with tears as she looks up at Dad. Both of them are standing near the fire pit, and I can still remember my childish eyes wondering why my mother looked so sad, and my father so grim. Was it, perhaps, the threat of an imminent Fire Nation raid? This was so long ago... yet I clearly remember my father whispering something in my mother's ears, and then, they both looked at _me_.

Earlier that day I had broken the igloo again when Sokka teased me and I thought that perhaps they were mad at me because of that. Those days, I didn't even know I was bending...

'You can always trust your family to stand by you, Katara – don't you forget that,' Mom said when my father left, 'You're safe with us, but our family must stick together, remember that.'

But we hadn't.

It was my mother's wish that our family sticks together, and yet we had dispersed. Only Sokka and I have remained together. Gran Gran is at the South Pole, and Dad...

I blink, and the ghostly shades in my mind's eye disperse as well.

I don't know where Dad is, but according to Bato, we should know soon.

I miss Dad so much. And yet – I don't know... sometimes, I wonder whether we matter as much to him as being a warrior does. Perhaps if Mum hadn't died, he wouldn't have gone away. And perhaps if I hadn't been a waterbender, Mum wouldn't have died…

I must stop thinking this way.

This evening has been a bittersweet experience. Much as I felt grateful for the news that Dad is ok, and loved the atmosphere of this little home away from home, it has awakened the ghost of a past I would rather forget, but cannot.

Like Aang said that day of the storm, it is useless thinking about _'what would have happened if…?_' I am here _now_, and that is what really matters.

Aang.

_He_ is somebody I would like to talk to my mother about, right now. My hand rises instinctively to my throat and I glance back up at the Fire Pit, but the ghostly presence of my Mom, like her necklace, has disappeared, and I am on my own.

In the sleeping quarters beyond the Fire pit, I can hear Sokka and Bato keep a snoring chorus, but Aang is nowhere around.

That's the second time he's disappeared this evening.

I think perhaps he was feeling a bit left out tonight while we were reminiscing about home. Sokka was even more excited than I was about meeting Bato, and no wonder, because from what Bato said, Sokka is very much like Dad. It was a rare and unusual thing to hear stories and see your own father through someone else's eyes, so all my attention was focussed on Bato and his news and stories about Dad, and didn't even notice Aang leaving.

But it wasn't so when we left Makapu village yesterday morning.

It was all I could do to try and act normal when Aang was around because Aunt Wu's words kept coming back to me:_ a very powerful bender_.

The evidence of Aang's powerful bending skills were right there for all to see when we re-entered Makapu village early in the morning on the day after the eruption: a huge wall of black solidified lava that in the light of day looked far less menacing than in the dark red glow of an exploding volcano. In fact, they looked like protective shields against the volcano's wrath.

Mount Makapu itself seemed to have spent its energy and was now smoking quietly in the background.

The villagers were grateful for what Aang had done, but I thought Aunt Wu would be angry when Aang gave her back the book we had 'borrowed'.

To my surprise, she took it quite well, and laughed at the way we had re-shaped the villages' destiny. The people, I think, still remain convinced of the potency of Aunt Wu's predictions, because the village was not, after all, destroyed by the volcano.

I just hope that they resume the tradition of checking its crater once a year.

As for me, I didn't really know whether to believe Aunt Wu or not. Or if I wanted to. Part of me did … but another part of me was scared of the implications.

Anyway, perhaps one's destiny is determined by the shape you bend it into, like we did with the clouds. I thought that perhaps Aang and I had shaped our destinies that day, when we bended the clouds…

I took Appa's reins as we left Makapu village, just so that I could have something to do other than go over and over the way my heart was insisting on interpreting Aunt Wu's words.

Furthermore, I did not want a repeat of the day before, when my emotions got in the way and I couldn't even waterbend properly. That's completely unacceptable, especially over something that might not even exist!

I found out exactly how much it does not exist yesterday afternoon, when we decided to set camp in a forested area not far from the sea. I had spent the whole day after leaving Makapu quieter than usual, and keeping myself to myself ( or as much as one can, on the limited privacy of a flying Bisons' saddle).

Thus, it was with some relief when all three of us scattered to find firewood and whatever the woods had to offer in the way of food.

I went back to camp early : I hadn't bothered with fruit: I had bought plenty from Makapu, but when I came back I found Sokka already building a fire and eating the Papaya I had never got around to having.

'Mmm, good,' he said, 'How come you bought this? You hate Papaya!'

I mumbled something about bad choices, not wishing to set him off again on superstition.

'What's for supper? Is Aang back yet?'

'It's still early, Sokka, the sun hasn't gone down yet.'

'There nothing to hunt here. I hope Aang isn't too lovesick to finds some Lychee nuts. '

'What?!'

'I hope Aang finds some lychee nuts.'

'Not that – what you said before –'

'Oh, _that_ –' my brother grinned widely, while my heart skipped a beat, 'yeah, well, Aang has got his eyes on this girl from Makapu village…'

'Girl?' I whispered.

'Cute little girl. And man, she _really_ likes him. Thank goodness for that, 'cos if she hadn't given him the book, we'd've never convinced the villagers –'

'Meng!' I said, as things suddenly fell into place.

'Yeah, that's her. The one that got us the bean curd puffs.'

I had seen the little girl getting flustered – she had reminded me a bit of the Kyoshi girls, but I had thought nothing about it at the time, and she was the one to give Aang the book when he snuck in Aunt Wu's house, and he had come out looking pretty flustered himself…

Oh.

It felt as if someone had doused me in cold water. Evidently, I had interpreted Aunt Wu's words wrongly. Or perhaps not. This was _my brother_ speaking – he has been teasing me about imaginary boyfriends since I was old enough to know what that means, and he's anything but perceptive about such things, But before I could say anything:-

'Hey, don't tell Aang anything, ok?' Sokka raised a warning finger 'he came to _me _for advice. This is between us guys!'

'You mean - you mean he _admitted?_' I asked in a small voice.

'As I said, this is between us guys,' Sokka replied haughtily, throwing the papaya seeds into the bushes nearby, 'Aang came to the right person, and I told him how – Hey, what's wrong?'

'N- nothing's wrong! What'ya mean 'what's wrong?' But my voice sounded high-pitched even to my own ears.

I bent over the fire and pretended to stoke it with the sticks I had got, blinking rapidly, and mentally kicking myself for letting my emotions run away with me. What was I thinking of, anyway? Aang's just a kid. Just like Meng. If they have a thing for one another, then that's way more suitable than what I had let myself think.

But then, why did I feel so crushed?

'Yeah, I know how you feel…' my brother said suddenly, with an air of wisdom. He was leaning back against a rock, his eyes closed in contemplation.

'You – you do?' That wasn't something I expected to hear.

Or wanted to.

'Aang's just a bit too young to fall so head-over-heels for someone'.

'Head-over-heels, huh?'

Sokka nodded. 'He should act more aloof-like, and cool down a bit. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and he's got a lot of other stuff on his plate, too.'

'Is _that_ the advice you gave him?' My disappointment was fast turning to peevishness.

'Hey, I didn't say that –'

'And besides, Aang's a _monk, _Sokka, I don't know what advice you should give a monk, and you don't either! They're supposed to be celibate - !'

And peevishness was turning to outright anger now.

'_Celibate_?! D'you think Airbender children fell out of the skies!? Be reasonable, Katara. Besides, Aang's the Avatar!'

'What does that have to do with anything?'

'He'll be treated like royalty by anyone who's not Fire Nation, and girls love looking up to a famous guy like that. No girl can resist that…'

'Well. Here's one girl who does NOT like that sort of thing!' I retorted, my voice rising to a shout, 'Here's one girl who has her feet firmly planted on the ground, and _I_ think Aang would do well to do the same!'

'Firmly on the ground, huh? They weren't so firmly planted when Jet took you tree-climbing!'

'That was only once, and besides, I'm neither a monk nor a nun …'

'With that temper, far from it! Anyway, if _that's_ what's bothering you, why don't you just ask him? There's Aang now! Hey Aang -'

'Shush, Sokka! You can't just ask something like that!'

' 'Course I can. What's the big deal?'

Aang was coming closer to us. He had a large pile of twigs under one arm and was airbending a bunch of lychee nuts in an airball with his other hand.

'I think I know what he's gonna answer, anyway,' my brother said with a knowing grin, 'But since you're so curious –'

'I'm not - Sokka, _no!'_

'Hey Aang, are airbender monks supposed to be celibate?'

I wanted to disappear in a hole in the ground. How can my brother be so crass? True, it _was_ one of the things that had been sort of bothering me, but still...

Aang looked blankly at Sokka for a moment as he came to a stop near our fire. I glanced up at him, wondering what he'd say, but cringing inwardly at the awkwardness.

'What's celib - ? Oh.' Aang's airball dissipated and the lychees went spinning down. He tried to grab them, blushing in confusion as he realised what Sokka was asking, then:

'No. _No_!' he said, emphatically shaking his head as he dropped to his knees and started picking up the red fruit. Then he looked up at Sokka: 'Whatever gave you that idea?'

'Nothin'. Just curious,' my brother said, with a shifty I-told-you-so look in my direction. I could've murdered him.

Aang stood up slowly, a couple of lychee nuts in his hands, looking from me to Sokka and back again. I was blushing furiously now, and dropped my gaze to my lap.

_Think of Meng._ I chided myself, furious that I was behaving even more childishly than a girl Meng's age, but unable, at the moment, to control myself.

Aang said nothing for a second more. I think he was more than a bit surprised at the weird (and totally uncalled for) question. But to my surprise, he threw himself down by the fire and answered it.

'Only the monks and nuns dedicated to the temple don't get married, or those that aspire to Enlightenment,' he said, quietly, looking in my direction.

Why was he addressing _me_? I looked away quickly.

'And they do that cos they _choose_ to, 'he continued, 'They are totally dedicated – they _were_ totally dedicated –' he corrected himself. I caught that and looked up. His eyes were still on mine, 'to teaching kids the airbender way: not just airbending, but everything else. Our whole culture.'

Sokka sat up, his face serious.

Aang glanced at him, and then smiled 'So anyhow, to answer your question, _Sokka,_' he said with a slight emphasis on the word I did not miss, 'the other airbenders were free to marry whomever they wanted, and did.'

'Then why're you called a monk?'

'_You're_ calling me that,' he protested.

'From history lessons,' Sokka said dismissively, 'besides, you don't deny it…'

'Yeah, well, 'Aang rubbed his hand across his head, a habit he has when he doesn't know (or want to) answer something, 'you kinda get called that until you choose to either stay or leave the temple for good at sixteen…'

'So, till you're sixteen, you should consider yourself a monk,' I said, the words out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

I don't think he missed the sharpness of my tone for he didn't answer, but looked at me with something akin to shock. Sokka came to his rescue.

'Aww, come on, Katara! Give young arrowhead here a break! What's the point of being a monk anyway? They're all dead, now!'

'_Sokka!_' I thought my brother's insensitivity would hurt Aang.

But I was surprised.

'That's what I was going to say,' he said in a low voice, as his eyes flickered to mine.

Then he got up to pick the rest of the lychee nuts from where they had fallen -the ones Momo hadn't managed to stuff in his mouth.

I got up too and told them not to follow, for I wanted to bathe in the stream. I just wanted some time to sort myself out alone.

I couldn't understand why in the arc of barely one day, I had managed to lose my head over a few stupid words uttered by a Fortune teller. I had let the possibilities cloud my reason: I should behave more maturely than that! I'm old enough, and supposedly mature enough, to handle my emotions a bit better – instead, I acted foolishly, and then lashed out at Aang for something that he's not even aware of doing!

After all, what's it to me if he likes this Meng? It's just a crush. Aang's a regular guy and not immune to liking someone. Whatever a monk's life at the Air temple was _supposed_ to have been like, I'm sure many teenage airbenders would've had their eyes on each other: at least during their travels, if not at the temple…

Aang certainly did: and not only at Kyoshi.

Meng.

I almost made a fool of myself and probably would've embarrassed Aang. And I don't want to lose his friendship. At least, I have _that_.

A cold bath in the stream worked wonders and by the time I went back to camp I was almost as level-headed as I usually am. I pushed all thoughts of Meng, Aunt Wu and Makapu firmly out of my head every time they intruded, and spoke to Aang quite calmly for the rest of the day.

I hope that these last couple of days of awkwardness will never happen again and that they're definitely behind me.

Whatever seed Aunt Wu's prediction has planted in my head, has been severely eradicated. I can't risk that our friendship gets complicated or put in jeopardy by my stupid girlish and immature nonsense.

Sometimes, I can't help it though…even as recently as this very morning , I kept thinking about what Aang meant about monks and celibacy, and why he kept looking at me ... Perhaps he expected me to scold him or something, but I'm not Monk Gyatso – he's free to do and like whoever he pleases! It doesn't matter to me. It's just that sometimes, when those gray eyes turn to look at me, it feels as though ...

Enough of this rubbish!

Bad enough I've spent two days _thinking_ about it - now I don't need to fill this scroll with empty scribbling.

I'm glad we met up with Bato. At least I can remember who I am and what my purpose is. Finding Bato has cheered Sokka no end. My brother had been rather quiet since we found the ship, because I think it reminded him of Dad. I remember seeing Sokka putting on face paint the day the Water Tribe men left, but he, too, had been left behind. He had wanted to join the warriors.

Bato explained how they had ambushed the Fire nation soldiers. He also said a message from our father was coming and that we could go with him to see Dad.

It would have been nice if we could afford the long wait for the message and the even longer detour to go see Dad somewhere in the Eastern Earth Kingdom but Sokka explained we had to get Aang to the North Pole first. Bato understood our commitment.

The Water Tribe warrior had been quite severely burnt in the skirmish with Fire benders. I helped the sisters change the dressing on his chest: the skin is still raw and oozing and will probably remain scarred for the rest of his life, but at least he survived. Fire is so destructive. Poor Bato - he didn't flinch, but he was in great pain though the ointment the sisters put on seems to help a lot. I must remember to ask the Nuns for some of it tomorrow. It might come in very useful, given our past close shaves with Fire Nation .

And some perfume -just a little just for me. The Nuns make loads of it and trade it for food and other stuff.

Living rough and in an all-male company make me miss opportunities like these. I'll speak to the Abbess tomorrow and see if she'll let me have some. The whole Abbey is redolent with beautiful smells, and I could do with some morale-boosting pampering right now.

**64 th day of our journey. Today my brother and I came to a reluctant decision to follow Bato to the Southern Water Tribe's rendezvous point to meet our father, while the Avatar would pursue his way alone to the North Pole alone. **

**It wasn't long before we regretted our decision, but as soon as we turned back, my brother and I were attacked by a strange creature called a Shirshu - an animal that sees with its nose. It also had a 30-foot long tongue with a poisoned tip that darted out and injected a paralysing poison. I had never seen the creature before nor did its rider, a girl called June, but I certainly _did _recognise the other two riders: Zuko and his Uncle!**

**Paralysed by the toxins, we were thrown on the creatures' back while its owner gave it a map Aang had held, so that it could follow his scent.**

**The Shirshu naturally took us straight back to the Abbey, and I was happy to see Aang had gone. I _thought_ the Avatar was safe, but minutes later, Aang flew in on his glider to save us from Prince Zuko's wrath. They faced off in the large courtyard of the Abbey, but while they were fighting, the Shirshui was creating havoc with its poisoned tongue. Sokka came up with the idea of overturning all the Abbey's urns of perfume to confuse the creatures' sense of smell.**

**It worked. The Shirshu went berserk and lashed out at Prince Zuko and its owner, paralysing them. With the aid of the Nuns' smelling salts we recovered and managed to escape on Appa, together once more.**

Today was one of the most harrowing days I have yet experienced on our travels.

Not because of Zuko or because of that ugly-snouted Shirshu: but because we almost fell apart!

I just didn't see it coming! I didn't see it at all.

Early in the morning, we went down to the beach with Bato who wanted to see his ship and we were explaining ice-dodging to Aang when Bato suggested that Sokka should go through that rite of passage: he'd missed the opportunity since Dad had left before he turned 14.

Sokka was really excited, and I couldn't blame him. I manned the mainsail and Aang the jib. Sokka was captain of the ship and took the tiller. His challenge was to get us across some very dangerous passages through wave-pounded rocks.

It pretty scary, but Sokka knew what he was doing and we made it through. He even went a step further and with Aang airbending extra power into the sail and me waterbending a huge wave beneath the ship, my brother even managed to get us beyond the encircling jagged edges of the rocks.

He had done it. I was really pleased for Sokka and happy that Bato had given my brother this opportunity. It was customary to mark the newly initiated with the ancient marks of our tribe. This would've been done in a ceremony in front of the whole tribe, but although there was just the four of us, it was just as meaningful, and I was really proud of Sokka as Bato intoned the ancient words of the ritual:

'The Spirits of Water bear witness to these marks,' Bato said solemnly 'For Sokka, the mark of the wise, the same mark your father earned.' And he marked his forehead in ink.

I got the mark of the brave, and then Bato turned to Aang.

'And for Aang, the mark of the trusted. You are now an honorary member of the water tribe,' Bato said as he marked Aang's head.

I was so happy for Aang, because this formally approved what Sokka and I already knew: he was really part of our family now!

It was then it happened:

'You can't trust me,' Aang said as he wiped the mark off his head.

Then, with a look on his face that reminded me of that stormy day in the cave, he handed me a crumpled paper.

It was the message Bato had been waiting for: the route to Dad and the other warriors' rendezvous point. I stared at it in shock, my mind refusing to accept the evidence of my eyes. Sokka grabbed it out of my hand furiously. Aang was trying to say something, but Sokka cut across him savagely.

'This is the map to our father! You had it the whole time!? How could you? Well, you can go to the North Pole on your own! I'm going to find Dad.'

How could he? We had trusted him: he was _family!_ You trust your family blindly! Something ugly rose inside me: anger: yes, but more than that, an overwhelming sense of disappointment.

Sokka had stalked off – I had never seen him so angry. And hurt. He shook off Bato's attempt at reasoning with him:

'Katara, are you with me?' he asked.

I looked back at Aang, standing there with guilt and shock etched on his face in equal measure, and my disappointment turned to grief. Why had he done this? How could he hide our map? Did he think that it would stop us from going to find Dad? That was _our_ decision to make, and we had already agreed to go to the North Pole, even though _Dad is our family too_! What was Aang _thinking_?!

Apparently, he did not really feel he's part of our family, or he wouldn't have tried to keep us away from our Dad. And he put me in a position of having to choose. That angered me, and I hardened my heart.

'I'm with you, Sokka' I said, tearing my eyes away from Aang, for I couldn't bear to see the devastated look on his face.

But my mother's words came back to me again: _our family must stick together_ she had told me, and right now, I felt that Sokka was the family that needed me more.

We trudged back to the Abbey, leaving Aang at the beach, and none of us spoke a word.

I started gathering our stuff together. Sokka still looked thunderous as he packed away our things, but now that our departure was imminent, and I'd had some time to think about it, my anger had dissipated, leaving in its wake a heaviness of heart that threatened to overwhelm me. Then Appa grunted softly in the Abbey courtyard outside, and I knew that Aang had come back.

I realised Aang hadn't done it out of spite, but still, I had never expected out of him.

_He is only human,_ a voice in my head kept saying, as I rolled up my sleeping bag.

I stood up and glanced through the half-open door of Bato's room. Aang was sitting on Appa, gazing dejectedly into space. I realised it might be the last time I see him.

Feeling the prickle of tears in my eyes, I blinked them away rapidly and looked away.

Perhaps Aang panicked at the prospect of finding himself alone. But we _said_ we were going to the North Pole with him!

Perhaps he hadn't understood that. I don't even remember if he was with us when Sokka said so, or whether he'd already hidden the map message.

Why didn't he _trust_ us?

Why did he think we'd leave him? I didn't even imagine our travelling together mattered so much to him, given that he's an air nomad and therefore used to travelling and making friends everywhere. But then … we _are _the only family he has left after all.

He has no-one else.

He's the Avatar, and yet he has no-one who cares about him the way a family does, the way _I_ do…

My hands started shaking and I made a mess of the knot I was trying to bind my sleeping bag with. Biting off a sigh I glanced up to see Sokka sitting by his backpack, looking at me with a dark look on his face.

He looked away and a moment later, I saw him rub his forehead with the back of his hand like Aang had done, removing the Mark of the Wise.

I knew Sokka was hurt and offended. So was I, but perhaps he – both of us - were acting too hastily. Even Bato seemed to think so, but before I could say anything, the water tribe warrior came in with the Abbess and we said our farewells, thanking her for her hospitality.

I couldn't even bring myself to look at Aang as we put on our backpacks in the Abbey courtyard. Sokka did not even say goodbye to Aang, but marched with Bato straight out of the Abbey gates. I knew I could not reason with my brother just then.

I lingered behind, however. Somehow, I did not want to say 'goodbye' – it sounded too final. So I put on a brave face and looked up at Aang.

'Good luck,' I said, hoping he could see in my eyes that I wasn't mad at him any more. Just sad.

'Okay. You too.' Aang answered, in a small voice.

I wanted to say something to reassure him … to reassure _myself_. I wanted to tell him we'd meet at the North Pole, or somewhere along the way, or that I'd talk to Sokka when he'd calmed down, and get him to turn back, but who was I kidding? There were hundreds of miles and thousands of possibilities between the two diverging roads we were taking…

I just turned and ran out of the gates, feeling that for me one journey had ended, and the new one that lay ahead was wrong, somehow .

The feeling intensified with each step. I wanted to stop Sokka to speak to him, but he was completely silent. Sokka is never silent for long, but a whole hour went by and none of us said a word, even though I could feel the choking pall of tension that surrounded us. I kept glancing backwards at the Abbey, wondering if Aang was still there and whether I should try and reason with my brother _now_, before it was too late.

I even saw Bato look sideways at my brother, but Sokka kept his eyes on the road ahead, his jaws clenched. How could I convince him to forgive Aang? To understand that he's our family, too, even though he didn't act that way…

Sokka always had this great admiration for Dad, both as a father and as a warrior. It was a big sacrifice for him to forego meeting Dad, so he's taken Aang's deception more harshly than he should have.

But I felt it was a mistake. A big one. With every step I took, it was like something tearing me apart, and then the Abbey was lost from view. Probably Aang was already gone, and suddenly, the urge to turn back, or at least do something, became more pressing. I was just about to catch up with Sokka, who was ploughing ahead, and try and reason with him, when a sound rent the air around us.

It was a wolf's howl : a keening sound that called out to the mountains, and to the sky: sad and lonesome, it filled the forest around us, echoing the feelings inside my heart, reaching near and far till it faded in the distance.

There were no answering howls.

'That wolf sounds so sad,' I said.

As sad as I felt.

'It's been separated from the pack,' Bato explained, looking steadily at my brother 'I understand that pain. It's how I felt when the water tribe warriors had to leave me behind. They were my family, and being apart from them was more painful than my wounds.'

I knew what Bato was doing. The old warrior _knew_. I had been right in thinking Bato didn't approve of the choice we made. I held my breath as Sokka looked at the ground and Bato's words sank in.

'Sokka?' I couldn't hide the pleading tone.

For a moment, Sokka didn't speak but then: 'We need to go back. I want to see Dad, but helping Aang is where we're needed the most.'

I could've hugged him.

'You're right' I said relieved, and Bato said Dad will be proud of us. He gave us the map to the rendezvous point in case we'd ever needed it, and my brother and I turned back down the road that led to the Abbey.

We had arrived in view of the Abbey when things went drastically wrong. A sound of galloping preceded the arrival of a strange beast driven by a hard-looking woman, with Zuko and his uncle on its back behind the woman. I had hardly swallowed my surprise at their unexpected ( and unorthodox) appearance when a thought struck me: Zuko was after Aang – I never thought I'd be so thankful we'd split up. At least Aang would be safe!

We ran, but the beast's enormous tongue darted out and paralysed us, and then I realised that the creature saw with its nose. We were dumped on its back, limp as ragdolls while it sniffed the map Aang had been holding and then took off at a gallop. It was on Aang's trail and I couldn't do anything!

We ended up back at the Abbey and I could hear the sisters screaming. The beast started going round in circles, sniffing the ground with its weird pink-tentacled nose. Aang wasn't there but I suspected that if any creature could track him down, the Shirshu would..

And it did.

Aang came spiralling out of the sky on his glider and, I'm ashamed to say, my first reaction was a shout of joy. I called his name because I was glad to see him, even though that meant he had to face that horrible woman and her pet monster. I was confident Aang could handle more than one angry animal, and an even angrier Fire Nation Prince, but the effect of the paralysing toxin was way too dangerous…

However, I had forgotten about Appa: I had never seen Appa so mad before - he charged the long-snouted beast and growled menacingly. Sokka and I were no use in the fight. Some kind Nuns dragged us out of the way of the rampaging animals in the courtyard.

As I slumped limply against the abbey wall, I could see Aang and Zuko fighting. As usual, Aang tried to avoid Zuko's firebending, but soon the two of them were exchanging shots fast and furiously. They ended up on a well, and I held my breath as they danced round the rim, Zuko throwing fireballs and Aang dodging them nimbly.

The shirshu had managed to inject its poison into Appa, though Appa wasn't giving in so easily. In the meantime, I thought I was getting some feeing back in my hands, but still could do nothing more than watch Aang and Zuko duel.

I don't know what Aang was trying to do: he seemed to be trying to grab something, but then he dived in the well and Zuko sent a huge fireball after him. I yelled, trying to stand up on wobbly legs, but then a huge waterspout shot out of the well. Aang had waterbended all the well water out, saving himself and drenching the whole courtyard. At that moment, I felt a soft hand on my shoulder and the Abbess was holding a bottle to my nose. Smelling Salts!

Their sharp odor finally dispersed the last of the poison, and Sokka and I were ready for action.. The Shirshu had finally brought Appa down by injecting him repeatedly with its tongue and Aang was cornered with his back against the wall, facing both Zuko's fire and the creatures' poisonous tongue!

But Sokka had the great idea of using the perfume jars on the odour-sniffing beast. He and the nuns overturned the huge urns of perfume and I waterbended the whole lot on the creature. It went wild, shrieking confusedly and lashing out blindly with its tongue. In its panic it jabbed its own mistress, Zuko, and I think, the stout old Uncle before bolting over the abbey wall and into the forest.

As the noise of the fight died down, Sokka and I came up behind Aang who was retrieving his staff. I put my hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze. He turned to look at me and Sokka in turn, gratitude written all over his face.

No words were needed, for all was forgiven.

The Nuns gathered around us, wide-eyed, but relieved. I was all for trying to bend the lost perfume back into the jars for I knew the Nuns depended heavily on its trade for the survival of the Abbey, but the Abbess would hear none of it.

'Go!' she said, urgently 'Take the Avatar and go, because those three will soon be up and after you again, once the poison has worn off. Do not worry about us, the perfume can be replaced, but the Avatar can not!'

We didn't need to be told twice! Appa had recovered his huge ten-ton frame withstanding the poison better, so we gathered our backpacks, which had fallen off the creatures back, jumped on Appa, and took off.

Appa roared gently as we flew further away from the Abbey, towards the setting sun. I was so happy we were back together again: all the ups and downs of the past few days, from the upheaval in my heart and mind caused by Aunt Wu's words, to the sting of Sokka's revelation about Meng, and the hurt at Aang's betrayal of our trust...all were gone!

I was just happy for us to be together again, for I knew this was the journey I was supposed to take. Judging by the look on his face, I think even Sokka was, too.

Finally, Aang asked us, with some trepidation, where we'd like to go. He didn't know we had already changed our minds. I smiled at the tone of his voice - hesitant, as though dreading to hear the answer to his question, but resigned to the worst.

'We're getting you to the North Pole,' I broke the news to him with a smile.

'**Y**ou're our family too,' Sokka explained, 'and right now, you need us more.'

'And we need you' I added, with heartfelt gratitude.

And not just because he was the Avatar, but because he was part of us now, and I do not want to even think of going through this journey without Aang at our side.

That's when Aang said he had something for me and held up my mother's necklace!

_My mother's necklace! _

He'd got it back from Zuko! If before I was happy, now I was euphoric! I was so euphoric, so _grateful_, that without stopping to think, I leaned forward and kissed Aang on the cheek!

He turned bright red at that and I suppose he must've been thinking Meng wouldn't have liked it too much, but at that moment, I didn't care about Meng.

I had got my mother's necklace back – it was almost like a sign from Mom that we'd done the right thing, and that everything will be ok, because she was still with me.

Aang was still looking at me with a bemused smile and flushed cheeks.

'They were using the scent of your necklace to track you down,' he said.

'And the map scroll for you, Aang' Sokka said, 'Funny how things turn out in the end, huh?'

Funny indeed.

Even now that we have set up camp and I'm writing this down by the light of the campfire. The soft pressure of the silken ribbon round my throat is comforting, though I find myself fingering the round disc often, just to check that it's still there, its smooth, familiar surface scored only by the etched symbols of water. Mom is still watching over her family and perhaps one day, with the Ocean Spirits help, she'll see her family united again, as was her wish.


	16. Chapter 16

**72 nd day of our journey. We have finally changed direction and have been flying for several days in a north easterly direction across great forested plains and lowlands. According to the map, the mountainous territories of what used to be the land of northern air nomads lies across a narrow isthmus of sea that separates these lush earth Kingdom plains from the impassable mountains. The end of our journey seems closer at hand now, but in the meantime, provisions remain a priority, so today we decided, against my brother's advice, to enter a Fire Nation town. It is one of few such enemy towns in these parts of the Earth Kingdom. It had probably started off as a supply post, but was then settled by the Fire Nation soldiers' wives and families.**

**Another reason we decided to enter the town in disguise ( apart from 'Wanted' posters of Aang ) was because there was a Fire Day Festival and Aang wanted to observe some fire bending Masters at work. As Avatar, he will eventually need to study this art.**

**Due to an unfortunate accident, our disguises were blown and we had to run for it. A mysterious character named Chey showed up and told us to follow him. We didn't have much choice, but thankfully, Aang managed to summon Appa on his bison whistle and we got away.**

**Chey explained he was a deserter from the Firebending Army and he served another deserter, Jeong Jeong, who was a Firebending genius. Chey had realised who Aang was, and thought his master could teach the Avatar Firebending. However, he had hardly explained this, when we were surrounded by a group a strange men with spears. Chey knew them, for they, too, worked for Jeong Jeong, but we found out that it had never been Jeong-Jeong's intention to teach the Avatar firebending.**

**We have been taken to some huts by a rivers' edge where Jeong Jeong lived, but he will only speak to Chey.**

**If tomorrow he still refuses, we must leave. In the meantime, for the night, we are the dubious guests of these strange men and there revered master, the legendary Jeong Jeong.**

There was a wanted poster of Aang, together with the one announcing the Fire Day Festival on the information pillar before we even got to the town. That should have been warning enough, but Aang's argument that it might be the only chance for him to see good fire benders tipped the balance.

In spite of Sokka's leadership ambitions, there's an unspoken agreement in our little group that we take decisions like these by unanimous consent, or at least by majority rules. I think I was swayed by Aang's eager enthusiasm for seeing the Festival, as well as by his arguments about firebending, so we waited until sunset turned into dusk, put on hooded disguises, and set off towards the town.

I should have erred on the side of caution and listened to Sokka, but ever since we got to know Aang, I think I have become a bit more reckless: or perhaps I am sometimes lulled into thinking all will turn out well in the end just because things always have.

I don't think I would otherwise ever have dreamt of walking into a fire-nation town during a festival organised by that same Fire Nation! They're the _enemy_ after all.

It was NOT an earth kingdom town occupied by soldiers as we had thought, and seen plenty of during our travels. It might have started off as that, but judging by the mode of dress of the women and children and other details, it was _entirely_ a Fire Nation town.

Aang's disguise wasn't too effective, but once there we saw that it was customary to wear masks, and our dilemma was solved by three Fire Festival masks, so we could wander about undetected.

I must admit, I didn't know what I expected to see in an enemy town, so I was kind of surprised at how normal all the people looked: there were children shouting and laughing, others waving enthusiastically at the dragon costumes and generally having a good time.

I suppose I should have realised that the enemy doesn't just consist of fierce, blood-thirsty soldiers: they have families, too. And as I looked at these fire nation families, they seemed to me no different from any other family I had ever seen.

It takes some getting used to.

The only stark difference that really caught out attention was at a children's' puppet show. The children, like children everywhere in the world, cheered the hero and booed the villain - only in this case, the hero was Fire Lord Ozai!

That was an eye-opener.

It also brought home to me the fact that we were wandering around a Fire Nation town where Aang was public enemy number one. But of course, Aang wasn't going to be bothered by such trivialities: he had seen something else: Malo, a firebending performer who was wowing his audience with Firebending tricks I had never ever seen.

In fact, I think it must have been the only time that I had seen Firebending that was not aimed at burning or destroying people and things! After a number in which white birds were released from a flaming fireball, Aang became irrepressibly excited, and was going to give the whole game away.

I was trying to curb Aang's unthinking enthusiasm when this Malo guy chose me as a volunteer for his next trick. Before I knew it, I was pushed on stage.

I still think we could've gotten away with it, had I not screamed.

The huge, seemingly out-of-control fire dragon was only a trick. My brain was _telling_ me it was only a trick, but my subconscious had been too conditioned to fear an approaching Fireball and unfortunately, I had seen too many of them intent on serious damage, to listen to logic, so I shut my eyes and screamed !

I wasn't the only one convinced of the reality of the out-of-control Fire Dragon.

Aang jumped on the stage and airbended the Fire Dragon away with a tornado of air, only to have confetti raining down on the stage from the ruined performance.

Unfortunately, his mask fell off and soon shouts of '_That's the Avatar_!' were coming from astounded voices in the audience.

That's when Chey showed up, saying he could get us out of there and, seeing no other option, we followed. Appa came to our rescue just at the last minute, so we flew to a safe distance from that Fire Nation town and then sat down and built a fire while Chey explained who he was and all about his master. Aang was fired with enthusiasm about this Jeomg Jeong, and I admit his reasons were convincing:

'This could be my only chance to meet a firebending master who would actually be willing to teach me,' he told Sokka.

This wasn't in right order for bending the elements, but Aang had me convinced. Before we could do anything, however, we were surrounded by a group of wild-looking men with spears.

Now I'm sure Aang could've easily taken them on all by himself, for there were little more than half-a-dozen of them, and their weapons nothing more sophisticated than spears, but they said they came from Jeong Jeong, and that must have persuaded Aang to move along quietly.

Their leader, Lin yi, has brought us to a small clearing with a few cylindrical huts. Beyond the huts the ground slopes down to a river bank, where one hut stands alone, built right on the river's edge.

Apparently, that's where Jong Jeong lives and Chey was sent down the embankment to speak with him, but Aaang wasn't allowed. Instead we were shown to one of the cylindrical huts and told to spend the night in here.

I haven't seen Lin Yi or any of his spearmen, but I'm sure they are guarding the perimeter of this clearing. Sokka has fallen into a light sleep, ready to wake up if necessary, but I can see Aang is still awake, arms behind his head and gazing up into the darkness.

I think he will be very disappointed tomorrow if Jeong Jeong turns out to be as mad as his followers seem to indicate.

**73 rd day of our Journey. The deserter, Jeong Jeong reluctantly consented to train the Avatar in Firebending, so we prepared to stay for some time at his river hideout. Progress was made, but the Avatar's training was interrupted by the arrival of Admiral Zhao and his men on river boats. Jeong Jeong held them up in a spectacular display of Firebending, and then Aang used Zhao's own undisciplined temperament to make him destroy his own riverboat fleet. **

**We all got away safely in the end, but now we have no choice but to travel north and postpone the Avatar's fire-bending training to more opportune circumstances.**

I was woken up in the night by Sokka telling me Jeong Jeong had refused to teach Aang because he wasn't ready for it and wanted us out of there, but Aang had insisted on going to speak to him.

We waited with some trepidation for Aang to come back.

When he did, the smile on his face told me he'd managed to persuade this Jeong Jeong to teach him.

'Why did he refuse to teach you anyway?' I asked 'What does he mean 'you're not ready'?'

'He said I should master the elements in their natural order, as determined by the seasons, so Firebending should come last. I know that, but-'

'So how did you persuade him?' Chey asked, a note of amazement in his voice 'Jeong Jeong was quite adamant that he didn't want to.'

'Uh…Well, he didn't at first – he said I was undisciplined. I told him it could be my only chance, but he said Fire is destructive and needs to be controlled by a strong will and asked me to get out. That's when he closed his eyes and started meditating…I think. It didn't last more than a few seconds, but at the end, he said he'll teach me. Isn't that great?'

'So he changed his mind just like that?' Sokka turned to Chey 'No wonder you said he's a mad genius'

'Well, so's my friend Bumi! And look what a great Earth Bender he is! Jeong Jeong must be the same.'

'Oh, he's alright! You wait till you see him in action!' Chey replied enthusiastically, as he got up to leave.

'Can't wait to start makin' _Fire Dragons_!' Aang said, waving his arms with an imaginary dragon on a leash like Malo 'Man, that move was great!'

'You didn't think so at the time,' I remarked with a wry smile.

'Yeah, well …' he said sheepishly, 'but still, it was a great trick. And the one with the birds–!'

'Ok, ok, I get it – we're stuck here for days with another mad genius and some crazy spear- people,' Sokka said in a disgruntled voice as he lay back down, 'while Aang gets to play with fire! I'm going to sleep!'

'Goodnight, Avatar,' Chey said with a bow, as he left the hut.

I mumbled a goodnight and tried to work out why I was suddenly feeling so unsure about this whole thing. Perhaps it was Jeong Jeong's words that fire is destructive, I don't know, but suddenly I had mixed feelings about Aang learning the enemy's discipline, Firebending. I had always associated Firebending with everything unpleasant and painful that had ever happened to me and suddenly the idea that Aang would be …. contaminated …with that destructive art seemed almost abhorrent to me.

I could rationalise the reasons why he had to learn and learn now, when the opportunity presented itself, yet at the same time, I had a bad feeling about this. More so because Aang seemed just to be seeing the spectacular, parlour-trick aspect of Firebending, and not its fundamental destructive properties.

I must have fallen into a restless sleep in the end, for images of Aang firebending, with a cold, grim look on his eyes reminiscent of the Fire Nation soldiers who raided our shores, haunted my dreams.

One look at Aang's face in the morning dispelled those fears however: his exuberance was brimming over as he took us down to meet Jeong Jeong. There was no way Aang could ever look as cold and heartless as a Fire Nation soldier.

And Jeong Jeong further put me at my ease. White-haired and old, bitter lines marked his face and his attitude was a bit abrasive, but I could sense that it was the disappointments in life that had turned him this way. Being a deserter from the Fire Nation army and surviving is no mean feat, and he had the scars to prove it.

I myself have seen the horrific evidence of the reasons why he has left the Fire Nation army. I have seen them back home at the South Pole; I have them in the sorry remains of the Airbenders at The Southern Air temple; I have them in the twisted, tortured flesh of the prisoners on the Fire Nation Rig…

If Jeong Jeong's eyes have been opened to these reasons, than he has a lot to recriminate his own people with.

No wonder he's so bitter.

Aang's first lesson started right away at dawn, and I took the opportunity to practice my waterbending by the river. I was also curious - morbidly curious perhaps - to see Aang firebend.

I had the feeling that he'd learn amazingly quickly, as he had done with waterbending, and I wasn't too sure how I felt about that. Perhaps I was a bit peeved that he seemed more eager to learn Firebending than he had waterbending. It's been ages since he practiced waterbending with me, and seems content to have learnt just the basic waterbending moves, whereas I've ploughed ahead doggedly, and have managed to master many of the forms in the waterbending scroll.

Being in the presence of a Bending Master (even though of the worst element) made me put my best efforts into the practice.

Anyway, Aang's first lesson this morning didn't go to well: Jeong Jeong took him back to basics with stances and lessons on concentration. I was secretly glad the Firebending master was taking it slowly – I don't think I was really ready to see Aang shooting Fireballs just like Zuko! It'd be so weird!

Poor Aang - I think he was a bit disappointed he wasn't producing confetti-filled fire-dragons already!

Later that morning, Jeong Jeong took Aang on a mysterious trip. They weren't gone long before I noticed Jeong Jeong had returned and was looking at me practice waterbending in silence from the edge of the tree line. I didn't know how long he'd been looking at me.

'Where's Aang?' I said a trifle self-consciously.

I wondered if my stances were as perfect as they should be. They're not the same as Firebending stances of course, but still, this was a _Master _bender...just like one I hoped I would find at the North Pole.

'He is up there,' Jeong Jeong said, indicating the distant barren peak, 'The air is clear there.'

'Uh...so?'

'Breathing exercises. The breath is the key to firebending power, and thus, learning control. It is essential.'

'How's Aang doing?'

'He is impatient. I think it is the impatience of youth, only, but that makes no difference: Fire does not forgive, whatever the reason or excuse. It is a harsh master if it controls you, and not the other way round. As for you, young waterbender, you look barely much older than the Avatar, yet your waterbending is controlled and careful.'

'It wasn't always so. I had a hard time in the beginning, and it was very frustrating, Aang got the hang of it much quicker than I did, but now it's very different - I find that when I practise waterbending, it's kind of calming and soothing...'

'Whereas practising firebending there is a fierce, inflaming passion...'

I looked at him, surprised. 'Yes. Yes, I guess you're right. It's in the nature of the element itself.'

'Hmmm ... well, your young friend would do well to concentrate on waterbending, for more than one reason. He hasn't mastered it yet, has he?'

'Well, neither have I. I know the legends say he has to first master –'

'I take it that he does not practise waterbending with as much dedication as I have seen in you this last half-hour?'

I hesitated. Aang hadn't practised waterbending in _weeks_.

'Aang's just as great a waterbender as I am.'

'But too impatient to finish learning one element, before he has to jump on to another?'

'Aang has a lot of pressure to learn all the bending arts!' I retorted heatedly, 'You're the only one who can teach him!'

'Teaching also depends on the students willingness to be taught,' Jeong Jeong said with a sigh, 'We will see.'

And with that, the Firebedning master retreated to his hut by the river's edge, leaving me wondering at his words.

It was past midday when I saw Aang coming back.

'Where's Jeong Jeong?'

'He's in there,' I said, indicating his hut, but I had hardly finished speaking before Aang headed straight to Jeong Jeong's hut, looking really ticked off.

He didn't need to say what was bothering him: I could see that the breathing techniques weren't what he had in mind. I expected him to argue with the old master, but then, to my surprise, a few minutes later, he came out looking subdued and sat down on a flat rock in front of Jeong Jeong's hut.

When the Firebender came out, Aang murmured something I didn't quite catch, but I heard Jeong Jeong clearly:

"We're going to work with fire now.'

Of course, Aang was ecstatic, but those words rooted me to the spot, and I lingered by the riverbank, wanting and yet not wanting, to see Aang Firebend,

However, once again, to my relief, Jeong Jeong's instructions fell quite short of Aang's expectations: he handed Aang a leaf with a smouldering hole and told him to concentrate on keeping the fire from reaching the edges. Then he was called away by one of the wild spearmen, who said there was trouble.

Perhaps I should have gone with Jeong Jeong and offered to help, perhaps I should have left Aang alone to concentrate as he was supposed to, but something made me linger.

I wish I hadn't.

'This is the worst firebending instruction _ever_. All he does is leave me alone for hours to concentrate or breathe,' Aang complained, scowling at the pathetically-smouldering leaf between his fingertips.

'I'm sure there's a good reason,' I tried to explain.

There was something about Jeong Jeong that made me trust him, in spite of his abrasive teaching methods and eccentric ways. I thought I would never hear myself say that of someone who belonged to the Fire Nation Army, yet something about the old firebender struck a chord with me - perhaps it was the sadness in his eyes, or the lines of grief on his face, that were even more defined than the physical lines of his scars. I knew that if he wanted Aang to concentrate on the basics and learn at a slow pace, than there was a good reason for it. After all, this was _Fire,_ the enemy's element, we were talking about.

I was turning to go and find Sokka when something made me look back. Aang had fallen silent, and there was a look of fierce concentration on his face - an intense, blazing, look that made me slow to a halt.

Next instant the leaf had burst into flame.

'I did it! I made fire!

I watched in horrified fascination from the riverbank, as the flame grew larger in his hands.

'Aang, that's great, but you should take it slow,' I urged.

Unless my eyes deceived me, his annoyance at my words made the flame grow bigger and he almost lost his balance. What if he burnt himself? Was that what Jeong Jeong was afraid of? But Aang had already started to play with the flame, juggling it between one hand and another.

Just as he had done with water bending, Aang seemed to learn effortlessly and easily.

Seeing Aang shoot flames from his hand was every bit as unsettling as I had expected it to be: he looked so _unlike_ a Fire Nation soldier, and yet I could feel the menacing heat of the flame from where I stood, and I knew his fire was just as real as any that the enemy had ever thrown in our direction. It was disquieting, to say the least.

That's' when Aang's eagerness for fire got the better of him.

I didn't even see it coming and barely had time to react:

Aang suddenly brought his arms around in a circular expulsive outward motion – I think he was trying to imitate something that that Malo juggler had done - and huge flames arched outwards in an expanding circle towards me!

A fierce heat enveloped me, scorching my hair and clothes. I must have instinctively brought my hands up to shield my face, for suddenly there was a burning, searing, sensation in my hands, followed by a pain so excruciating that I screamed.

For the next few seconds my brain went blank: I couldn't think: there was just PAIN. My hands were on fire and the pain went throbbing to every fibre of my body. I caught a glimpse of red-raw and blackened flesh on the palms and backs of my hands. Sickened, I crouched down on trembling legs, closing my eyes to the horrendous sight and clutching my hands to my body.

That's when the realisation set in: my _hands_ were burnt!

My _hands_!

I would not be able to waterbend!

That thought, like a dagger, penetrated even the fug of pain that was still clouding my brain. I could feel the tears running down my face as suddenly nothing else seemed to matter - my world fell apart in that split second of realisation.

I heard Aang's horrified voice saying he's sorry, and then Sokka's angry shouting:

'You burnt my sister!'

When Aang bent down to touch me, Sokka flew at him and tackled him to the ground furiously. I ran away then. I couldn't deal with that too. I just wanted to be alone.

I ran, blinded by tears, through the trees and stumbled towards a distant part of the river, hoping no-one would follow me. The burning pain in my hands was nothing like the one in my heart for I knew everything had changed now.

I crouched down by the water's edge and forced myself to look at my hands: I knew there was no way injuries like these would ever heal properly. Too much of the skin of my fingers and hands had been burnt: if it healed at all, the scars would twist and disfigure my hands. I had seen similar scars – the tortured prisoners aboard the Fire Nation rig had had their hands purposely burnt and disfigured so that their bending would be affected – or gone.

It was a bitter blow to see all my dreams come crashing down: I would never be a great waterbender, perhaps, at best, a mediocre one. That was so different from all the hopes I had when I left the South Pole! Bitter tears fell into the river, and my ambitions, like my tears, were carried away by the water.

I tried to stop crying, knowing that sooner or later, Sokka would come looking for me.

Or Aang.

Aang had burned me, _Aang_.

Yet somehow I couldn't feel angry at him. I could feel nothing at all except this overwhelming despair and sadness that everything would be different now. If my bending was affected, then I wouldn't recognise myself. There was no point for me to continue the journey north: I'd feel like extra baggage on the trip – a liability – and no waterbending master at the North Pole would want to waste his time with someone whose bending was gone or diminished.

But neither did I want Aang or Sokka to see me like this. It had been an accident, and Aang had sounded so shocked... I did not want Sokka to turn against Aang – the grief of what nearly happened a few days ago when we left Aang to go with Bato, is still raw. I didn't want our small group falling apart again. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down and think more rationally. If only the burning would ease a bit...

Almost without thinking, I plunged my hands in the river water, wincing as the pain momentarily intensified.

But only momentarily.

The cool water soothed my scorched skin and I breathed slightly easier as the pain lessened. I think I was trying to see whether I could still feel the bending energy flowing through arms and to my fingertips like I usually do when waterbending, when something strange happened: the water around my hands glowed brightly and my hands became encased in this glowing water, like gloves. At first, I thought that perhaps the effect of my damaged hands had caused some sort of distorted waterbending, but I was fairly sure I hadn't tried to water-bend: I was just trying to feel the flow of my chi energy, and reconnect with the water's energy.

The next thing I knew, the pain was gone.

I took my hands out of the water and gazed at them astounded: the dead skin and red-white burn marks were gone and the skin re-knitted over every burn. My hands were completely healed. I was staring uncomprehendingly at my hands when I heard a voice behind me:

'You have healing abilities.'

It was Jeong Jeong.

'The great benders of the water tribe sometimes have this ability,' he said sitting down next to me, 'I've always wished I were blessed like you - free from this burning curse.'

A curse? He was a Firebending _master_... how could anyone speak of their own element that way?

'But you're a great master. You have powers I'll never know,' I said.

'Water brings healing and life. But fire brings only destruction and pain. It forces those of us burdened with its care to walk a razor's edge between humanity and savagery. Eventually, we are torn apart.'

I could see the truth of his words. Destruction and pain. I suddenly remembered how horrified Aang had been at what he'd done, and Sokka's reaction. I needed to make sure that Fire did not tear us apart...

Before I could do anything however, a great blast of flame shot across the river water towards us. Jeong jeong reacted just in time as he bended the flames away from us. There were Fire Nation boats coming upriver fast, and I recognised the tall, broad-shouldered soldier in the leading vessel – Zhao!

As I ran off to warn the others I saw the firebending master create a huge wall of flame right across the river.

I found Sokka preparing Appa to leave, a grim look on his face, but I assured him I was fine and asked him where Aang was. His curt gesture towards the hut by the river told me Sokka was still mad at Aang.

But I wasn't. Aang hadn't meant to hurt me, and, thanks to my new-found healing powers, he didn't. It would've been pretty useless dwelling on how terrible things might've turned out -Jeong Jeong's bitterness was warning enough. Aang will need all the help he can get to learn this untameable element and not let it tear him apart as it had done Jeong Jeong.

I found him in Jeong Jeong's hut, facing the wall, but he knew it was me as soon as I went in.

'Jeong Jeong tried to tell me that I wasn't ready,' he said in a low voice, 'I wouldn't listen. I'm never going to firebend again.'

I explained that I was healed, but though he was elated at that, there was a sad but determined tone in his voice when he repeated that he would never Firebend again.

As he left to try and save Jeong Jeong I knew that I had to speak to him again about it. I couldn't help feeling a bit responsible. Did I overreact and made him feel really bad about what he had done?

I went up to Sokka and helped him pack the rest of our stuff. Then we climbed on Appa and l took the reins, urging the bison through the trees and further down the river where I could hear the sound of battle.

When we got there I could see that scorch marks on the ground but Jeong Jeong had disappeared: only Zhao and Aang were there, and Zhao was attacking Aang with Fireblast after fireblast. Aang was dodging them nimbly, air bender fashion, but I thought he was provoking Zhao rather unnecessarily.

'Is that all you got?' he shouted at Zhao, 'Man, they'll make anyone an admiral these days!'

He airbent himself on one of the riverboats. Zhao's retaliatory fire became even more vicious, resulting in some near-misses, and I got up to go and help.

'No,' Sokka held me back by my arm, but he was grinning, 'I think Aang has got this guy figured out.'

I saw what he meant. Aang was jumping from boat to boat taunting the Firebender, and as he did, Zhao followed his trail, effectively destroying his own ships with his fiery blasts.

'Atta way to go, Arrowboy!' Sokka cheered, 'How could that guy be so stupid as to fall for that old trick!'

'He's got no control.'

'Yeah, and Aang's using that against him: he didn't even have to fight!' my brother cheered as another fireblast wiped out the cabin of the second boat.

'Perhaps Aang learnt something about losing control,' I said, casting a sideways glance at my brother 'So, you're not mad at him anymore, are you?'

I knew he wasn't.

'Seeing as you're fine, no. But I'm not too happy having a Firebender on board this bison! Next time Aang tries any firebending I want you to stay well away –'

'I don't think there's going to be a next time...'

'What?'

'He said he'll never firebend again.'

Sokka looked disturbed.

'Look earlier when I saw your hands so badly burnt, I lost my head,-' he started, but just then Zhao blasted his way to where Aang stood on the prow of the last boat.

The rest were engulfed in flames. Aang was cornered, but on the other hand, Zhao had just destroyed his own boats, including the one he stood on.

He seemed to realise this as he launched a horrific fireball at Aang, enveloping the only remaining untouched part of the ship in flames. I gasped, but Aang had managed to get away just in time by jumping into the water.

'Aang, come on!' Sokka shouted, and Aang, his clothes smouldering from the final fireball, got up on Appa, took the reins, and we were off.

'Aang, you're burned.' There were several scorch-marks on his clothes but one of them on his left sleeve, had actually burnt right through, leaving burn-marks on his arms. He hadn't seemed to notice since they were not deep but they were severe enough to be quite painful once the high from the fight wore off.

'It's a wonder you only got away with scorchmarks, the way Zhao was burning everything!' Sokka said. Then added with a grin: 'That was some battle you won, Arrowboy: using the enemy's weakness against himself: great action, great strategy: couldn't've thought a better one myself! We owe you!'

I smiled. That was Sokka's way of apologising for his earlier rough treatment. Aang knew it too.

'Thanks Sokka,' he said with a smile.

I couldn't tear my eyes off the angry red mark on Aang's arm. Then I got an idea.

'Let me help you.' I said, moving closer to him.

I opened my water skin and let the water flow over my hands, bending it into a rough glove. This I placed over Aang's arm, and closed my eyes, trying to remember the sensation I had felt earlier.

At first I could feel the heat of Aang's inflamed skin beneath my hand. I opened my eyes and saw the water glow white. I concentrated on the pain that must be removed. It was an elongated burn-mark running parallel to the marking of the arrow tattoo, so I moved my hand slightly along his arm, feeling the energy flowing again at my fingertips...cooling ... soothing...then willing the water to transfer and amplify the energy I felt to the skin beneath my hand.

It healed, as somehow, I had known it would.

'When did you learn how to do that?' Sokka asked.

I shrugged 'I guess I always knew.'

Typically of Sokka, instead of being amazed ( _I _certainly was) at my new-found healing powers, he started grumbling about why I hadn't helped more during the many and varied accidents he'd had throughout his life.

I grinned - things were back to normal.

Or well, not quite.

We flew north as the sun set and then set up camp far from the river, where Zhao and his men would not find us.

'Tomorrow we'll cross the Isthmus,' Sokka said, studying a map as we sat by the fire, 'and head straight to the North Pole. No more stops.'

'We might need some provisions before we get to the mountains up north,' Aang said, 'There won't be many towns or villages in those mountains.'

I knew we'd have to pass through the Northern territories of the Air Nomads to get to the North Pole and if the Southern ones were anything to go by, those mountains would be incredibly wild.

'Yeah, well, we'll go on a shopping spree before we go mountain climbing,' Sokka said getting up and heading towards the trees, 'I need a potty break now. Don't follow me!'

'_Sokka_!'

Sometimes, he still thinks he's speaking to his toddler-warriors back home, but Aang just laughed.

Appa grunted and flopped down heavily near the campfire, and Momo flew back from the forest to settle on Aang's neck holding something with many tiny hairy legs in his hands and chittered happily.

'Eugh. I wish you'd eat your dinner before coming to me,' Aang made a face as Momo looked down innocently at him from his perch on Aang's shoulder, a few half-eaten legs sticking out of his mouth.

'It's useless, Aang. Momo won't leave you unless he really has to: he's really missed you during your training sessions with Jeong Jeong'.

Momo crunched the bug with relish and an unpleasant squelching sound, then settled down to sleep draped round Aang's neck.

'It's like having a second head,' Aang said, scratching Momo's ears 'A furry one. He's always on me.'

I observed Aang in silence for a minute as he tickled Momo's chin to the lemur's evident contentment. My eyes followed the movement of his hand, and then they fell upon the gaping charred hole in his sleeve where earlier I had healed the burn mark.

'Aang?'

'Mmm?'

'About earlier...I ... I'm really sorry. I think I may have overreacted when I got burnt. I didn't mean to upset you.'

His eyes came up to mine, clouding over immediately. He didn't say anything at first, but gently removed the sleeping lemur from his neck. Momo chittered in protest, but fell asleep again promptly at his feet.

'I saw your hands, Katara, you were not overreacting. I hurt you. Badly.'

'I was just scared my bending would be affected, but I'm ok, and I wouldn't have discovered my healing powers if you hadn't –'

'I know you're trying to make me feel better,' Aang cut across me sharply, 'But Firebending is not for the weak!'

'You're not weak!'

'I am not _ready_! And perhaps I never should be. Jeong Jeong told me that I should learn restraint, or risk destroying myself and everything I love!'

Gray eyes, tinged a warmer color by the campfire, flickered to mine for an instant, and then away again. It was a troubled look, and fleetingly, something else, something pleading, but gone before I could be quite sure what I'd seen.

'I almost scarred you for life, Katara,' he said, playing with a blade of grass at his feet, 'If it wasn't for your own healing powers...' he paused, and then looked up at me 'I could never forgive myself if something happened to _you_ ...'

The sincerity in his voice told me that the emphasis on the word was intentional. And there was that look again. My breath hitched, and I couldn't tear my eyes away. But it was just concern for a good friend, wasn't it? Next minute, Appa rumbled complainingly for his evening treat and Aang got up. Momo flew to his customary perch on his shoulder.

'Ok, Appa, I'm coming. Only pine nuts and apples tonight, boy.'

I was left staring at him with a strange tight feeling in my chest and a yearning, a longing, for something I know I should not even be thinking about. It was a few seconds before a realised I was still holding my breath, so I let it out in a sigh, and went to get my sleeping bag and my scroll.


	17. Chapter 17

**77 th day of our journey. We have crossed the isthmus to the mountainous territories of what used to be the lands of the Northern Air Nomads. The Avatar warned us that these regions are sparsely populated, if at all, so before we reach the really high mountains and uninhabited north, we stopped to get provisions from one of the last few villages on the map.**

**It is set on the slopes of a high mountain, and we have used the last of the money we got from selling the Taku relics to get enough provisions to last us until we cross the sea to the North Pole. That is still many days ahead, but we hope these supplies, together with what we can hunt or gather, will last until we get to the Northern Water Tribe. **

**Speaking of relics, the market had a lot of Airbender items that the Avatar found a fascinating reminder of his culture. **

We had spent all day at this little market. It wasn't as overflowing with fruit and vegetables as other markets in the Earth Kingdom, both because of its altitude, and the fact that this far up north, the winter season is very cold. We are, in fact, back to wearing our thick fur lined Southern Water Tribe coats to ward off the cold.

We bought whatever food we could and some other stuff too. The market was surprisingly well-equipped with non-food items: there were many stalls selling cooking pots and other utensils and many others selling cloth, warm hats and blankets. I wanted to buy some warmer clothes for Aang, but he didn't want any – most of these clothes are fur-lined and he didn't want to wear 'dead animal'.

I managed, however, to find cloth exactly the same like the saffron yellow and russet of airbenders. I promised Aang I'd fix his clothes to completely remove the burnt reminders of Zhao's attack a few days ago. The patch job I'd done wasn't good enough.

I also bought an extra blanket, perhaps Aang would accept that in lieu of fur-lined clothes. Though I had rarely heard him complaining of the cold, we might be staying some time up at the North Pole, and I guess it'll be every bit as cold as the South Pole.

Sokka was going shopping-spree-crazy, so I stayed by his side in case he spent the last of our money on useless items which would just weigh Appa down for nothing. As for Aang, he had absolutely no sense of the value of money, and after having once spent most of our last coins on a Bison Whistle, the job of keeping the purse-strings has usually fallen to me. True, on that occasion we hadn't even known what a Bison whistle was, and had thought it broken junk: it has saved our lives several times since then, for Appa responds to it immediately.

Today, it seemed like Aang had found more Airbender artefacts among odds and ends laid out on a cloth in front of a well-travelled merchant with a weather-beaten face. Aang was holding up what looked like a necklace of sorts, and speaking to the merchant, who was pointing to the distant snow-capped mountains.

I was in a hurry to leave. Our last visit to a village had ended in disaster, with Zhao and his men chasing us upriver intent on capturing the Avatar. Ok, this was a very remote place, far from the sea, or rivers, set on the slopes of a mountain. It was a far cry from a Fire Nation town celebrating a Fire Nation Festival, but Aang once again had not bothered with a disguise – not even a bad disguise – so I was quite antsy on getting away before anyone started asking questions. Zhao might be on our trail again, for enough time had passed since he stranded himself without transport on that river.

'Look - an ancient airbender pendant,' Aang said, holding up a wooden beaded necklace, his eyes shining with excitement, as I went up to see what was keeping him.

As I came close, I recognised the pendant. Simple and wooden, it had the distinctive swirling marks of the airbenders etched into its surface. I had seen it on the statues of past Airbender Avatars in Southern Air Temple Sanctuary.

'Hey, I've seen that before,' Sokka had come up behind me, 'Back at the Southern Air temple, it was on … yeah, well... I've seen it,' he finished awkwardly.

I glanced from him to Aang, who's expression had fallen somewhat, his eyes fixed on the wooden necklace in his hand.

A pendant like had been around the neck of the statue of Monk Gyatso in the courtyard of the temple. And Sokka had said that the skeleton which had triggered Aang's Avatar state that day had been wearing monks robes and a wooden pendant just like the one on Gyatso's statue.

I bit my lip. Aang never spoke about that day, but I had always wondered whether those sorry skeletal remains had been Gyatso. I think it was.

I turned to the merchant. 'How much for the necklace?' I asked.

'Hey, how come he gets to have that and you wouldn't let me buy that green hat?' Sokka complained.

'Because you have one already!' I retorted, impatiently, 'which you never wear. And besides, I'm the one who always thinks about provisions, and, therefore, what we can afford!'

'Look, Katara, you don't have to do this –' Aang started

'It's only a couple of copper pieces,' the Merchant interrupted laconically, 'it's in good condition, considering its made of wood and, according to you, it's been up in the mountains since the airbenders were here,' He indicated the distant snow-clad peaks again.

I silently handed over the money and Aang pocketed the relic, smiling his gratitude. I was quite happy our money should buy it. First of all, it was far less than I expected for such an ancient and rare object, and we could easily afford it (the merchant clearly didn't believe it was an antique), and secondly, because Aang has so little left to remind him of his culture... If I could, I would pay much more to be able to restore some of that.

Of course, that pendant, like my own, will never bring back its original wearer, but still, it is _something_.

'Why don't you wear it?' Sokka asked, as we left the market laden with baskets of supplies, 'You're an airbender.'

Aang shook his head. 'I couldn't. Only the enlightened, or the higher monks wore one of these. I'm not anywhere near being like them.'

'You're the _Avatar_!' I protested. Surely that would count for something.

'That doesn't mean I'm ready - or ever will be - to wear one of these – but thanks, Katara - I really appreciate it.'

'It's _our_ money you know - yours and Sokka's, too.'

'Yeah, well... thanks for letting me buy a completely useless object, anyway'

'I don't believe it's useless. Sokka's third hat was useless.'

'I heard that,' Sokka shouted from further down the mountain road.

' … but this is completely different.' I continued ignoring my brother, 'and one day I want to see you wear it, Aang. After all, you _are _the last Airbender: no-one else has a right to that pendant but you.'

Aang blinked and slowed down, but I kept on going. I wanted the truth of my words to sink in, for I have been worried ever since his words to me in Jeong Jeong's hut, that he did not want to firebend again. He knows it's his destiny, and yet even if the way seems difficult, (especially since we left the only Firebending Master willing to teach him behind), it _must_ happen.

Perhaps I felt a bit guilty because I had not wished to see Aang Firebending, I don't know. I only know that that necklace and what it represents belongs to Aang. And if he's not convinced of that now, if he thinks that somehow he's not worthy, then perhaps when he's grown older, or wiser, or more experienced according to the customs of the lost Air Bender people, he will realise that he's got to wear that pendant in the end. He's accomplished so much even at his age, for he has the seeds of greatness in him.

He will deserve that pendant one day and when that happens, I hope to be around to see him wear it!

For the time being however, we have to concentrate on getting to the North Pole. With both Zhao and Zuko on our trail, the more we linger out here in the open, the more dangerous it will get. On these barren slopes there's nowhere much to hide, and staying in any town or village is increasingly risky. Besides, the closer we get to the North Pole, the more anxious I'm getting for us to start training and actually accomplish what we had set out to do months ago. Perhaps mastering waterbending will give Aang the boost he needs to forget about the disastrous start to Firebending. After all, water is the next element, according to the time-honoured training cycle for Avatars.

I just wish Aang would show a bit more enthusiasm for practising waterbending. He only does when I ask him to, and never on his own initiative.

This evening, after our return from market, we set up camp on the high mountain slope. It's very cold and yet there still isn't much snow at this level: just barren, sloping rock, but I'm sure it will turn white in a day or two. The high mountain peaks, on the contrary, are covered with snow and the air is crisp and biting cold.

Aang was rather subdued while we set up camp. I could tell there was something on his mind. But I didn't mention anything as I asked him to hand over his shirt. He sat down to meditate on an outcrop of rock some distance from the camp. I worked as fast as I could, but although he was half-naked, he did not even shiver. It was something I had noticed before, when travelling in colder regions.

Aang doesn't like being disturbed when meditating, so I got the mended shirt and sat down nearby waiting until he finished.

I let my eyes bemusedly follow the slender blue arrow tattoo as it outlined the contours of Aang's head, then gracefully down the nape of his neck and straight down his back, its' blue colour standing out sharply against the pallor of his skin.

I wonder what goes through his head when he's meditating?

The same arrow tattoos twisted sinuously around his arms in a way I always found fascinating, no matter how often I'd seen them before. Apart from the tattoos, however, there was not a single blemish on his skin, and I looked in vain for any sign that he was feeling cold, but there was nothing: he was as still as though carved from alabaster, even though the air temperature around us was swiftly plummeting as the sun went down.

'What's so funny?'

My head snapped up to find a pair of gray eyes looking quizzically at me. I realised I had been smiling.

'N- nothing. I was just wondering how come you never seem to feel cold.'

'Special breathing techniques the monks taught me. It helps a lot,' he replied mildly. 'The Air temple was cold pretty much the year round...'

'Well, here you go, you should put this on, anyway.'

'Thanks, Katara,' he said, pulling the caped yellow shirt over his head, 'good as new.'

'Well, if you're done meditating, come over and join us by the fire, Sokka and I are a bit lacking in special breathing techniques, and besides, Sokka's found some chestnuts we can share.'

Later, when it got dark, Aang curled up to sleep on Appa's legs.

'D'you need a blanket?' I asked, holding the extra one I had bought earlier.

'No, I'm ok,' he replied, as I suspected he would.

'Well…Goodnight.'

'G'night.'

He seemed anxious to get to sleep so I settled down to write about the last couple of days of our travels. Though he hasn't mentioned it again, I hope he has taken my words about that pendant to heart.

**79 th day of our journey. Instead of flying due North as planned, we have changed course to North East to avoid Zhao and his men who had travelled far inland and into the mountains at the outskirts of Airbender territory in an attempt to capture the Avatar. **

**As we travel deep into the old Air Nomad lands, the mountains are getting higher, colder, and more remote. **

**We have seen groups of hardy travellers who eke out a living by trading goods between the few small villages that survive on the mountain slopes. The Avatar said that in his days, there were no villages at all on the mountainous outskirts of Airbender territory. This has made us think that perhaps Earth Kingdom settlers have preferred the tough but peaceful mountainous life, to the alternative of staying in the war-torn Earth kingdom.**

Aang had disappeared. I knew something was wrong immediately. He's usually the first to get up in the morning, but this time, I could see by the position of the sun that I'd overslept, and Aang was nowhere to be seen.

'Aang!' my shout echoed across the barren slopes but there was no answer.

'Sokka! _Sokka_! Aang's disappeared!' I shook my brother awake, and he sat up blinking blearily with his boomerang and his whale-tooth knife in his hands.( Sokka always sleeps with his weapons now).

He jumped up, but I had already run off to where an outcrop of rock had a good view of the distant mountains and the valleys below. I _knew_ there had been something on Aang's mind yesterday. Perhaps that Airbender pendant had been too strong a reminder of what he had lost!

Sokka was shouting something about him being carried off by Fire Nation soldiers, which did not help, but then I saw him.

He was standing on the outcrop of rock I had been heading towards, gazing wistfully at the distant mountains.

'Aang?'

I got no answer.

'See - he's alright,' Sokka said, lowering his weapons and pretending he hadn't been yelling his head off a second earlier, 'You worry too much'.

I was relieved Aang was ok, but as I got closer and saw the far-away expression in his eyes, I knew something was up. I followed his gaze to the majestic heights of the mountains as a stiff morning breeze whistled past us, cold and clean, straight from the snowy peaks that reared up jaggedly against the blue sky.

The winds had blown through these high mountain tops since the beginning of time, and they were whispering stories of a time gone by. Air Nomad stories...Stories only Aang could understand.

'This place reminds you of home, right?' I said gently, placing my hand on his shoulder, 'All these mountains… the Airbenders would have loved to stay here,'

His eyes flickered momentarily to mine, and I was struck by the sadness and nostalgia in them.

'They would have been attracted to this place…' I continued softly, seeking confirmation to what I thought was bothering him.

He lowered his eyes. 'Yeah, a few of them probably _were_,' he responded sadly, but there was a hard edge to his tone that made me uneasy.

I didn't say anything, else but kept my arm around his shoulder to show him that though the past was lost, the present was there with him.

'I'm gonna have some breakfast,' Sokka declared, marching off.

That seemed to rouse Aang, and he turned to me.

'Perhaps we should leave soon after breakfast,' he said with a last look at the mountains that was tinged with anxiety more than anything else, now.

'Why the sudden hurry, Aang? You seemed eager to linger yesterday.'

He looked down guiltily 'I ... uh…went scouting through these mountains last night, when you were both asleep, and I …sorta… met up with Zhao again.'

'What?! _Aang!_ I've been worried –Why didn't you tell us!? You could've been captured, or worse!' my voice rose higher, 'Why did you _do_ that?'

'I had to try, Katara' he said, 'I know you and Sokka don't believe there are any Airbenders left, but I had to see if what that Merchant said was true…'

I bit back my angry words as I realised what he meant.

'It's that Merchant, isn't it? The one that sold you the Airbender pendant. He filled your head with false hope!'

'I didn't think it false then!' Aang said, vehemently, 'These mountains are at the edge of Air Nomad lands, and I saw a Stupa – it all _fitted in_! And when I found the cave full of airbender relics, and saw him sitting there, I thought he was an airbender –'

''He' who?'

'It was the Merchant himself: he just draped some of that cloth like you bought around himself and sat among all that airbender stuff. I thought … I thought-'

His brows contracted angrily, and my heart clenched painfully as I imagined what a terrible let-down it must have been. But why would the Merchant do that?

'It was Zhao!' Aang spat the word out angrily, answering my unspoken question, 'He laid a trap for me by using airbender relics to lure me! He said that's how Sozin rounded up the rest of the Air Nomads after he'd destroyed the Air Temples! Making them think there were other Airbender refugees in the caves… that they would be safe, and then …and then… _massacring _them!' The last came out as a choked, angry cry.

I brought a hand to my mouth stifling a gasp, my mind cringing at the horror at what those words conjured up. Men, women …_children_ … burnt to death in these remote places, with no one to mourn their loss, because there was no one else _left_ of their people to do so… except Aang.

'Aang, I'm so sorry…'

Words were so futile, sometimes. I placed my hand tentatively on his shoulder again and he glanced up at me, his eyes darkening to a stormy grey with anger. I think my shocked face made him tone down the bitterness in his voice a bit.

'I always knew that Sozin couldn't have destroyed all the airbenders by attacking the temples: we are – were - Air _Nomads, _and there must've been hundreds of families still wandering the world: I knew the Firelord must have rounded them up somehow: I just didn't know _how_.'

'Zhao was there, wasn't he? In the cave,' I said, my heart beating faster at how close he'd been to danger – and I'd been asleep through it all!

Perhaps I should stay awake for longer.

He nodded. 'He loves reminding me how I'm the last Airbender!' he said darkly, 'But he's wrong! I haven't given up hope that there might still be Airbenders, whatever that – that – _Zhao,_ may say!' He slammed his staff down emphatically, creating a blast of air that further underlined his words.

It seemed to me that, for some reason, he disliked Zhao even more than Zuko. The dislike seemed more on a personal level.

'Well, Aang, we're entering Airbender territory. If there are any Airbenders left, we're bound to find out. But let's not go running after any more relics, ok?' I gave him an encouraging smile, 'By the way – how did you get away?'

He glanced sideways at me as we turned to make our way back to camp. 'Easy – I gave them a history lesson on the use and function of those Airbender relics,' he said with a wry smile and a return of some of his spirit, 'They …uh…were quite impressed.'

By the time we got back Aang had told me exactly what happened. I was relieved he was ok, but if something had happened to him…

'I know you can take care of yourself, Aang' I said, reproachfully, 'but just let us know where you're going next time. I was worried.'

'I'm sorry, Katara. I thought you didn't believe there were any Airbenders left , and I know you're in a real hurry to get to the North Pole.'

'Yes. Yes I am. But Aang, there wouldn't be any point in going to the North Pole without you. …' I smiled, 'Now let's grab some quick breakfast... if there's any left. It's dangerous leaving Sokka alone with the supplies!'

By mid-morning we had already packed our stuff and left, heading North-east to avoid Zhao and his men who were probably still trekking back from the mountains to the north.

I sincerely hope it will be the last we see of Admiral Zhao, but my heart tells me that he, like Zuko, will not be giving up on their prey so easily.

Throughout the rest of the day, Aang and I were very quiet. I think the sobering thought of the tragic end of the last Airbenders weighed on our minds – especially Aang. Having that Zhao taunt him so cruelly, and describing how the Air nomads were rounded up and murdered just at the point when he had thought he might have found one of them alive, was just so unimaginably _cruel._

We sat up camp in the only wide valley we found between the mountains just as the sun was setting, and Aang spent longer than usual meditating. He seemed more at peace afterwards – cheerful even, so I was hoping that he could put what happened in the cave behind him and we could concentrate on getting to the North Pole, but by evening something happened that raised Aang's hopes up again, and made me nervous in case this turns out to be another disaster.

Close to our camp there was a beaten track in the valley floor: clearly this pathway was frequented by travellers. Aang saw some of them: three men and a woman laden with backpacks were coming down the track and he stopped to speak to them.

'Where are you heading?' he asked.

'We're going to sell our stuff in Nee Soon market,' the eldest of them said, squinting at Aang in the dim twilight. Are you travellers too?'

'Course we are!' Sokka said 'Travelling Warriors.'

The man looked doubtfully at me, but I stared back defiantly: I would be a warrior - very soon, too!

'You should join us,' the heavily-dressed woman said 'There's a meeting place down further down this track. We regularly spend the night there. Usually all travellers along this path do: we build a fire, tell stories… Sembawang will be there probably. He's the best storyteller. Come with us, you'll like it.'

So that's how we ended up sitting on stone benches with a group of other travellers in a small clearing listening to the storyteller. Sembawang was dressed in thick clothes and had a weather-beaten face and a huge mole under his nose. His Great-grandfather, a shrivelled, tiny man whose face was even more weather beaten and ancient than the stone he sat on, was behind him under a canopy. According to the storyteller, the wizened old man was the source of all the stories, but his voice was too quavery and weak to do any telling, so his Great-grandson did the job. He was very good at it too: animating the stories with wild gestures and sound effects.

It reminded me a bit of home: that's how many winter evenings were spent in the southern water tribe: telling stories around the campfire. The storyteller spoke of great adventures in the high mountains; of avalanches and blizzards and strange animals.

Then he spoke of the flying man: member of a secret group of Air Walkers who defy gravity and live in the high sacred mountains where Flying Spirits rove. A place villagers were afraid to go.

I saw Aang perk up at the story.

He thought it was about Airbenders, and so did I: after all, the Sembawang's great-grandfather seemed old enough to have seen the Airbenders!

But the man laughed when Aang suggested that: 'Great-grand-pappy saw the Air Walkers last week!' he said indicating the distant mountains.

I think I know where we'll be heading tomorrow.


	18. Chapter 18

**81 st day of our Journey. These two days have been very eventful. Following the vague rumours of the existence of 'Air walkers', the Avatar concluded that, given our close proximity to the Northern Air Temple, there could possibly be some surviving Air Benders there. **

**We did not find any, but instead, we found a group of people displaced by a severe flood, who had made the temple their home. Their leader, who called himself a Mechanist, was an inventor of many unusual machines and contraptions, including a flying one that uses air currents to glide. This had given rise to the story of the Air Walkers. **

**The Mechanist and his men have riddled the entire temple with steam-carrying pipes and other mechanical contraptions, destroying ancient and precious Air Temple paintings and statues by doing so. This angered the Avatar at first, but perhaps there is one part of the temple left untouched – The Inner Sanctuary. Only an Airbender can open the door to it, and Aang refused to, in the hope that it will remain untouched.**

I knew that old man had set Aang's hopes up again.

'It's only a few days away,' Aang said yesterday, waving his hand in the direction of the jagged-edged mountain range, 'And we're heading in that direction anyway.'

'We're heading in that direction because Zhao was lurking in caves further north,' Sokka grimaced.

'Exactly,' Aang grinned, 'So we'll be miles away from him.'

'Whatever,' Sokka said, as he heaved our stuff onto Appa's saddle.

'It won't really delay our getting to the North Pole,' I said, as I formed a wave with the snow piled beyond the sparse growing Fir trees.

The snow was reminding me of the purpose of our travelling so far north, and now that we were getting so close, I was really eager to get there finally. I used every minute of my spare time to practise. Alone. Aang still wasn't that interested, and I had given up asking him to practise with me.

I'm probably much better than he is at waterbending now, but the idea does not thrill me anymore. Sometimes, I wonder whether it's _me_ he's objecting to – perhaps if it was _Meng_ he'd be more enthusiastic.

Anyway, be that as it may, as we travelled further in a North Easterly direction, snow covered the ground completely and the mountains became impossibly high.

This morning, Aang assured us we were getting close and soon enough, perched on the highest and remotest peak of all, stood the Northern Air Temple. It was very similar to the Southern Air temple: pinnacles and turrets stretching upwards at dizzying heights, like fingers eagerly reaching through the clouds to seek the infinite sky beyond.

As we drew closer, I could see the there were things circling lazily among the turrets.

'They really are airbenders!' I cried excitedly.

'No, they're not,' Aang said, his voice heavy with disappointment.

It was the first of many.

It turned out that the flying people were only gliding, not airbending. Aang could tell by the way they moved.

It was then that one of the gliders flew so close we had to duck. I caught a glimpse of a goggled teenager and heard a carefree laugh. Aang got very competitive, and jumped onto his own glider, no doubt to give them a taste of what _real_ airbending is all about.

It was pretty cool to see both of them go. Aang obviously had moves the gliding boy could not imitate, but I think he got taken down a peg or two when the teenager drew an unflattering picture of Aang in the sky with the smoke coming from his glider.

We landed at the temple soon after. It turned out his name was Teo and he was the wheelchair-bound son of the Mechanist. He recognised Aang immediately as a real airbender and the Avatar, and said that his Dad had invented the glider. He took us inside the Air temple, saying he'd show us the other stuff his Dad had invented, and that's when things turned a bit sour.

You could see the chamber's ancient glory, but very dimly, through layers of dirt and black grime that covered the whole place. Like the Southern Air temple, the main entrance gave way to a large chamber: statues of monks and air bison and murals of the lost airbender culture were all along the wall, but they had been desecrated by pipes and machinery that tore right through the precious murals and statues. Smoke and steam belched from fissures in the pipes, and even a beautiful bison fountain flowed with a slow, glutinous, green liquid instead of the limpid clear water it must have once held. The sad old eyes of a monk's statue gazed helplessly at the destruction.

I was shocked. Even the century-old neglect and sense of loneliness at the abandoned Southern Air Temple was nothing as harsh as this wanton disregard and purposeful destruction of the Airbenders' culture.

And if I was shocked, how must Aang be feeling?

Teo was proudly explaining how everything worked by hot air and Sokka was enthusiastic, but Aang was less than impressed. I tried to explain to Teo that Aang knew this Temple in its heyday, and that he was unhappy with the changes.

'This is supposed to be the history of my people,' Aang said, as he looked up at the desecrated mural.

'I'm sure some parts of the Temple are still the same,' I said as the bison statue emitted a foul belch of black smoke. Surely in such a huge place some areas had remained untouched.

'The circular building outside the west wing- we hardly ever go there,' Teo said soberly, coming up behind us, 'I think that's more or less untouched. D'you wanna go there?'

'Yeah,' Aang cast one last displeased look at the fountain and followed Teo back outside and then through another door and onto a bridge.

'The main Hallway is the part where most of the pipe work had to go' Teo said, glancing over at Aang 'We can't really survive without the hot steam.'

'The monks survived just fine without steam pipes!' Aang said darkly, 'They had the wind!'

'Oh, right. Wind power! I heard my Dad say something about that - something about the design of the place, and how it catches the wind... ' Teo faltered, and stopped.

'It's just that we're not Airbenders, Aang, we can't use the wind's energy like they did,' he continued, more firmly.

I felt that Teo understood Aang's distress now, at seeing the changes they had made, but at the same time, he was simply saying that they, too, had to survive in this place, using the techniques that they were more familiar with.

'It's nice to see one part of the temple that isn't ruined,' Aang said finally as we entered the circular building and found it untouched.

The calm serenity of the monks' peaceful life still permeated the ancient place. It was in the very air around us and evident in the benign but wise expressions of the statues of the monks and in the harmonious contours of the old building.

And suddenly the wall exploded.

Teo's father and some workers came through saying they were constructing a Bathhouse. A wrecking machine beyond was ready for the next blow, and that's when Aang really lost it!

'Do you know what you did? he shouted angrily ' You just destroyed something sacred! For a stupid bathhouse!'

And he slammed down his staff and blasted their wrecking machine right off the edge of the cliff beyond. I must say I felt like doing the same thing myself. The insensitivity of these people was jaw-dropping!

Teo, who turned out to be a bit more sensitive than his dad, explained who Aang was, but Aang was totally on the defensive now.

'What are you doing? Who said you could be here?' he bit out, advancing on the Mechanist.

Then the Mechanist explained how a devastating flood had uprooted his people, leaving an infant Teo a cripple and killing his mother. They had found the Temple empty and the Airbender gliders had given him the idea of restoring the mobility fate had robbed his son of. I was moved by his story, for I know that a parent would go to any lengths for their child... my mother did.

I found myself wiping my tears on Aang's short mantle, a choking feeling in my throat. Teo and his Dad were lucky to have one another, and Teo could certainly have been much worse off if his Dad hadn't invented the flying chair. It kind of put a new perspective on things.

Sokka was completely taken by the Mechanist's strange inventions, and followed him and his workers to see more of them, but Aang was still unhappy and I think Teo saw this.

'Hey, Aang, I want to show you something' he said, wheeling his chair about and heading for the bridge that connected the circular building with the rest of the temple complex, 'I think you'll like it.'

We followed him back through a side door of the main hall and down some corridors. There wasn't a single wall or room or corridor that did not have pipework running through it, as well as strange machines, pulleys and lifts, and metal structural supports. They sat incongruously on the ancient murals and elegant design of the stonework that had so been patiently carved by the monks over hundreds, if not a thousands, of years of history.

They were a harsh reminder that the era of the Airbenders was gone for good, and it seemed as though not even this temple would be left to commemorate the passing of their culture.

Aang walked in silence, his eyes raking across the defiled temple walls.

'You know, back at the South Pole,' I said slowly 'our homes are made of ice and snow, so there are no buildings that last for eons like these temples, so we transfer that attachment to other stuff: ceremonial masks and carved whalebone weapons and other items. They can become very important …' I absent-mindedly touched my mother's necklace. 'I think what I'm trying to say is…'

'What you're trying to say is,' Teo slowed down, looking back at us with a contrite expression, 'that this place represents the cultural inheritance of the Airbender people, and should therefore have been preserved.'

Aang's frown turned to something like surprise.

'Look – I know you're pretty mad about all this,' Teo waved his hand, indicating the ever-present pipework above our heads, 'But you've got to understand that my father – everyone, in fact – thought the Airbenders gone forever. We didn't know there was one last Airbender left. True, my Dad was never one interested in culture, and, according to the tales, what little our people had in the way of historical and cultural buildings and items, got swept away by the flood. We were left with nothing but the clothes we stood in, and yet ... many were grateful to get away with their lives. I guess that's why none of us are really attached to such stuff.'

'The Monks always said one shouldn't get attached to material things,' Aang said finally, with a sigh, 'Still, this temple was more than just an old building…'

'Perhaps something can still be done about it,' I suggested, looking at Teo hopefully.

'He lets me in on many of his projects, teaching me the mechanics of his inventions,' Teo muttered thoughtfully, 'Perhaps I can get him to curb his more excessive projects. Though you may not think so, I'm really fond of this place, and I've explored almost every nook and cranny. Perhaps we can still preserve it!'

'If there's anything left to preserve' Aang said, dourly 'I just can't get over it. There's not a single thing that's the same.'

Then Teo bent down and picked up a little black and white striped hermit crab and passed it on to me. As he explained, this was probably a descendant of the same creatures who lived here a hundred years ago: keepers of the Temples' origins. I passed it on to Aang and was rewarded with a smile, but this faded when Teo showed us what he had wanted us to see: it was a temple door that only Airbenders could open, and it was exactly the same as the one that guarded the entrance to the Southern Air temple Sanctuary.

Teo knew that it was the only untouched part of the temple, its Inner Sanctum, but Aang refused to open it:

'I'm sorry, this is the last part of temple that's the same as it was. I want it to stay that way,' he said, lowering his head.

I was with him on that one, and Teo understood, too though he had been curious to see what's inside.

'Perhaps when the war is over, you can salvage some of this stuff, Aang,' I said as we headed back, 'As the last Airbender, it's rightfully yours.'

'Yeah. Well, that's not gonna happen any time soon, but sure… I can do that. No-one here appreciates it anyway,' Aang replied, morosely.

'But there's one thing Airbenders had that we really, _really_ appreciate,' Teo grinned, 'And that's the AIR! Tomorrow, we'll go flyin'!'

**82 nd day of our journey. Today we found out that the Mechanist had been blackmailed by the Fire nation into offering his services as an inventor, and was working for the War Minister Qin, producing war machines for the Fire Lord. The Avatar put an immediate stop to this, with the result that the Fire Nation carried out its threat of attacking the Air Temple itself.**

**However, as Aang pointed out, we had the advantage of our location and our gliders to attack the Fire Nation Soldiers, and used our control of the skies to our advantage. Smoke and Fire bombs were very effective against the foot soldiers, but the metal war machines with their climbing chains and grappling hooks that enabled them to climb the sheer sides of the mountain, were another matter. My brother and the Machanist had jointly come up with the idea of using a hot Air Ship to bombard the remaining soldiers and their war machines. Finally, victory was ours when Sokka used flames of the Airship engine to cause natural gas that leaked from a fissure in the mountain side to explode, completely destroying the soldiers' route up the mountain as well as the soldiers themselves.**

**We have spent the evening celebrating our victory with these people, but tomorrow we must leave at dawn for our presence here could hardly have gone unnoticed and news of this Fire Nation defeat will soon reach the Ozai's ears. **

The day started off well enough with Teo sticking to his promise to 'go flyin'!'

That's how I found myself standing on the edge of a precipice holding a glider in my hand and my heart in my mouth. Gravity may be something Aang laughed at, but at that moment, it seemed to me to be a very real physical force that was telling me I'd be smashed into a million pieces somewhere beneath the misty clouds that hid the bottom of the precipice.

Aang and Teo spoke about another mysterious force that was supposed to keep me aloft: Aang called it 'spirit' and I suppose, in the end, that's what made me do it. I knew I had to find out. My brain was screaming out _No don't do it_, but another part of me wanted to see if I had the spirit, and to trust in its mysterious force.

I launched myself into the abyss and promptly screamed my head off as I plunged several hundred feet. Then something inside me felt lighter than air: perhaps it was the surprisingly warm air currents – Teo had said they used steam to create uplifting currents of air around the temple – or perhaps it was this mysterious 'spirit' - whatever it was, I was suddenly airborne and screaming in sheer delight. It was exhilarating, liberating, exciting and a hundred other things sensations I cannot describe! It was exactly as Teo said: there was something inside of me, and it wanted to _soar_!

I flew back and forth, the wind whistling past my ears: Teo saw I had got the hang of it and left me to it, a big grin on his face. A second later, I was flying with Aang.

He flew by my side, amused at my excitement, but I couldn't help it - it was all new to me. I had sort of flown with Aang before: but that was more like hanging on to dear life while he airlifted me and my brother out of harm's way on his glider, when those Pirates were after us. This was completely different.

I banked to one side and then the other as I gained more confidence. Aang followed me easily.

'Teo was right about the air!' I shouted above the wind, 'All I had to do was trust it. Let it carry me'.

'Even though Teo's not an airbender,' Aang replied, looking sideways at the receding landing platform, 'he really does have the spirit of one!'

I knew then that Aang and Teo would get along. I had, in fact, agreed to go flying with them in the hope it would break the ice a bit. And it did. I smiled as I saw Aang head back to Teo and land beside him.

I glided a bit back and forth, walking with the wind. I knew I would probably never ever get this close to flying again, so I made the most of it, Momo chittering excitedly nearby: the little lemur couldn't understand how I'd suddenly spouted wings! I was just realising I didn't know how to land the glider, when I swallowed a bug! Aang had warned me to keep my mouth closed!

Now, there is nothing more unpleasant than that scratchy, choking sensation and bitter taste of bug in your mouth! My glider wobbled as I coughed and spluttered. I recovered soon enough though, and a few minutes later Aang was by my side, a wide grin on his face.

'I warned you,' he grinned, looping gracefully twice around my glider.

'Ok, Aang, now quit showing off and tell me how to land this thing – I can't stay up here forever...' But the wind and the clouds and the mysterious, exciting force told me otherwise: 'Or perhaps I can stay a little longer...'

I banked sharply to the left and downwards, noticing how much faster it went when you tilted the wings just so. My heart was drumming against my chest, the wind, cold and bracing, was whistling by my ears and with the clouds below me, and the sky above me, even gravity seemed to have taken on a different meaning. This was like the Airbenders must have felt a 100 years ago as they wheeled and dove in and out of the clouds around their temple! I felt like squealing like a little girl from the sheer joy of it!

Something must have shown on my face for one particular airbender was finding it pretty amusing: Aang appeared from behind me and then turned his glider round so that he was flying upside down below me: an airbending move that I could not hope to emulate with a glider. We flew barely a foot apart, mirror images of one another. Aang had a bemused expression on his face, and, as I swerved and raced to touch the clouds, Aang followed suit, mirroring my moves in easy grace, his eyes never leaving my face. It felt like an arial dance, and soon my eyes were drawn more and more to the boy flying in synchronicity with me, rather than to where I was flying. Up here in the air, and at close quarters, Aang's prowess in his natural element was even more evident.

'I told Teo I'd open that door,' Aang said, just when I was starting to feel strangely awkward under his unswerving gaze.

'That's really nice of you, Aang. Really. Uh... how about you teach me to land now?'

'Sure - follow me and do what I do. Without Airbending, you have to slow the gliders' speed before landing by tilting upwards, like this.'

He demonstrated and landed near Teo on the old Airbenders' glider platform. My landing wasn't so graceful, and I stumbled as I landed hard, but Aang's arms were around me, steadying me and taking some of the weight of the glider.

Teo came up to us then, the look on his face betraying his eager impatience to see what's behind that door. Well, as an inventor's son, I guess he's bound to be naturally curious, so we made our way once more down the dimly lit corridor that led to the door only an airbender could open.

And just as he had done at the Southern Air Temple, Aang created a blast of air that opened the door's simple, but effective locking mechanism.

And the secret was revealed: I had been half-expecting another vast room with the Avatar statues but instead we were shocked to find what looked like a Fire Nation Arsenal depot. And my horror grew as I took in the deadly weapons, the strange, but evil-looking metal contraptions that could only have been designed with death and destruction in mind. These were not the rusty remnants of the Fire Nations century-old first attack on the temple - these were gleaming new and obviously under construction! My head snapped to Teo, but the horrified look on his face told me he hadn't known about this.

Our entry must have set off an alarm because next minute we found the Mechanist standing behind us, with Sokka in his wake.

'You're making weapons for the Fire Nation!' Aang shouted pointing an accusatory finger at the inventor.

Teo was even more upset. 'Explain all this! Now!' he yelled at his father.

How could he betray his people, his own son, like this? Any grudging respect I had for this man melted away.

The mechanist bowed his head and did not deny the accusations , but his explanation left me in a quandary. Blackmailed by the Fire Nation into offering his services in return for the continued peaceful existence of his people in the temple, he said he had no choice. He said he did it for Teo, but Teo turned away from him in shame. It was horrible seeing the shock in poor Teo's eyes. I could see that he had idolised his father, but now… those weapons were being used to tear apart _other_ families, they were _murdering_ people.

'He should've told you, at least,' I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice.

He should never have agreed to help the Fire Nation… but then, if the price to pay was Teo's life and that of his people…

'There's gotta be something else we can do…' Sokka scowled.

He had taken the Mechanist's revelation to heart, and seemed even more surprised and upset than I was.

'Yes,' Aang said grimly, with a look that brooked no refusal, 'We can stand and fight!'

'I'm with you,' Teo's face was still pale with shock and his normally cheery expression was replaced by one of grim determination, as he turned to head back down the corridor.

'Teo, perhaps it's best if Aang and I speak to your father…' I said gently, fearing an irreparable showdown between father and son. After all, his father had had his son'a best interests at heart …

'No, Katara – he's _my_ father! I can understand it must've been a difficult decision, but it is wrong, wrong, _wrong_. I've seen what the FireNation can do – I've seen their bones, deep beneath the mountain –' he stopped and bit his lip, as though afraid of having said too much and glanced at Aang.

We had arrived back at the main corridor, and Aang froze at Teo's words, his eyes fixed on the swirling Air symbols in the mosaic beneath our feet.

'You saw what, exactly?' Aang's voice was dead low and as cold, his eyes not moving from the swirling air mosaic.

'Aang – ' I started, but Teo answered anyway.

'I told you I explored every nook and cranny in the temple, with that one exception…' Teo thumbed his finger behind us at the secret room full of Fire Nation weaponry, 'One day, in a tunnel system deep beneath the mountain on which the temple is built, I found a Charnel house. Apart from a few bones, there are also rusty Fire Nation armour and weapons. My father told me that they had buried all the remnants of the Fire Nation's first attack on the Airbenders there, when they first moved in. I didn't want to tell you, cause it's kinda sad...some of those bones were so little...'

I glanced anxiously at Aang, whose face was set in anger.

'Well, the Fire Nation are not gonna win this time,' he said grimly, as he strode off again.

'We need to find out when they're coming,' Teo said, pushing the wheels of his chair forward, 'Some of that stuff in that room looked pretty much finished, and ready for collection. And my father is going to tell us!'

'You find out whether Fire Nation is coming anytime soon,' Sokka said, more briskly, 'If so, we need a plan. Katara, come with me - we need to have a look at the ramparts.'

I followed Sokka reluctantly out of the main entrance, and we explored the temple's accessibility from beyond the surrounding walls. Like all the air temples, this one was designed to be accessible only by Sky Bison, but the Mechanist had changed all that.

'There is only one way up here,' Sokka said, leaning over the bridge that led the way to the building that was to be a future bathhouse, 'There's a narrow ledge up the mountain side, possibly built by the Fire Nation during their first attack, and Teo's Dad has widened it to make it easier for those of his people who couldn't use a glider, and to get supplies in and out of – hey, look!'

Sokka pointed downwards, and I saw a small contingent of Fire Nation soldiers come round one of the sharp bends on the narrow ledge. They were moving hurriedly and with purpose _away_ from the Air Temple. Their leader had something in his hands and with a wide gesture seemed to throw the object he was holding away. But the object opened a pair of fiery red wings and flew off- a Messanger hawk!

At that moment Aang and Teo came up and explained that they had just sent the Fire Nation emissary packing, saying the deal was over. The Fire Nation Official retorted that he would be returning soon with the small army that was camped nearby. It was barely past midday: they would arrive at by early afternoon.

'I've seen your Dad's inventions Teo,' Sokka said frowning,' 'they're really good! If that's anything to go by, his weapons will be just as good. This is bad! Very bad!'

But then Aang, like a true Airbender, came up with the idea that since we could control the sky, we stood a fighting chance, and when the Mechanist came humbly asking if he could help, we started feeling much more optimistic. I also finally started to think that maybe these people _belonged_ to this place. In spite of their insensitive treatment of the temple, I could see how in a crisis they were ready to defend their home. Their _home_. It struck me then that these people needed the shelter the temple provided and they were alive _now_ – the airbender monks, though the story is tragic, were all long gone, and no longer had any use for the building. Probably, they would have _wanted_ the temple to be a shelter for these people.

We had a quick meeting with all the able-bodied people who could fly a glider well and got together a quick plan of attack – Sokka helped perfect the war balloon and we were pinning a lot of hope on that working. In the meantime, we filled a lot of skins with the disgusting sticky sludge from the bison fountain and soon we were back out on the launching platform, waiting for the attack.

It was a tense wait. I was a bit scared, yet also at the same time, strangely excited: finally I was going to strike back at the hated Fire Nation - no more running. Finally I was going to take a stand, and with Aang and Sokka by my side, as well as all these people, I somehow felt we _had_ to win!

I'm not going into the detail of the battle: I wrote about it in the visible part of this scroll, for all to see, and to bear witness to our first victory over the fire Nation.

As befits a battle on an Air Temple, in the end it was those who controlled the air who won the battle, and though the tanks with spiked wheels and swivelling central parts were really tough to destroy ( having been invented by the genius of the Mechanist), they, too, were blown away by the explosion and Sokka's quick thinking.

Although we've had plenty of skirmishes with Fire Nation soldiers, and Zhao and Zuko in particular, this was my first time in a real battle, and you really, really need to keep your wits about you – and watch out for your friends, as they watch out for you! That's what I was thinking, as Aang and I faced those metal monster tanks on the sloped plateau at the base of the temple. We destroyed some of them but they came close to getting us too, if we hadn't been watching out for each other – and Appa, who finally came to our rescue when we were overwhelmed by their sheer numbers.

I had always imagined battles involved standing your ground and using your bending to destroy your enemy, but I found it has more to do with quick-thinking and keeping your head, heart and mind focussed. _Really_ focussed: one wrong move, one distraction, and you could end up dead (or worse, if the Fire Nation captured you). It was also the first time I had felt really useful: I was doing something to help, something more tangible than what I had tried to do back home, back at the South Pole. It's something more worthwhile. Perhaps once I get the proper training at the North Pole, _this_ is what I'm supposed to be doing...

After the explosion had wiped out all possible access to the Temple and most of the remaining war tanks, the soldiers retreated beyond the great chasm at the foot of the air temple carrying their wounded on top of what was left of the war tanks. That was a bit harder for me to see, for I guess I'm conditioned to try and heal, rather than harm, but they were fire Nation soldiers and after all, they were the ones to attack: we had only defended ourselves.

I hardened my heart : those soldiers will heal and live to fight another day and take more innocent lives...

If only I hadn't heard the groans...

Some of the war tanks had ended up in the chasm, twisted hulks of melted metal after the explosion. The soldiers in those weren't groaning any more...

We lost the war balloon as it plummeted downwards without the heat from its furnace. Aang saved my brother and the mechanist, pulling them out of the sinking balloon just before it plunged to its doom beneath the clouds, then we all gathered on the lotus terrace to celebrate our victory.

And there was more than one reason to celebrate, for Aang had come to terms with the fact that the temple was never going to be the same again.

'I'm really glad you guys all live here now. It's like the hermit crab' he said, picking one up from the stone bench where I was sitting, 'maybe you weren't born here, but you found this empty shell and made it your home. And now you protect each other.'

'That means a lot coming from you,' Teo grinned.

As everyone cheered I smiled and went up to Aang, putting my hands on his shoulders. I was so proud of how he had seen the needs of these people, and accepted their presence in the Air Temple. I know it was a hard thing to do, but ultimately, it was the _right_ thing to do.

'Perhaps after the war is over, these people might feel safe enough to return to the Earth Kingdom, where they were uprooted from,' I said when we returned to the large echoing chamber were we had spent the previous night. We had already packed most of our stuff, and Teo had insisted on giving us all the supplies we could carry.

'Why should they? Teo wouldn't: he loves gliding way too much to want to leave,' Aang said as he threw himself down on the beautiful mosaic floor, 'Anyway, what if they do?'

'I already told you: Then you might reclaim the Temple: you _are_ the last air bender.'

'I'm just _one _airbender kid – what'd I do with _four_ huge temples, Katara?'

I glanced over to where he was sitting, arms resting on his knees and looking down at the huge central mosaic of the Air Nomad insignia on the floor beneath him. One small airbender surrounded by the sign of his lost people.

'Useless speculating, you guys. The war won't be over by tomorrow,' Sokka said, yawning in his sleeping bag, 'So I suggest you get some rest. We'll leave at dawn. After today, word would've got out you were at the Air Temple, Aang. Zhao, Zuko, or both, are bound to come sniffing around...' And with that Sokka lighted one of the sparking candles the Mechanist had given him, and turned round to sleep.

'Yeah, okay. I'll go check on Appa first, see you later.'

And Aang got up and left.

He has not returned yet, even though it's taken me ages to write this days' events – at least an hour by the sparking-candle time ( though I've blown it out now – I don't think I can sleep if it keeps exploding every hour).

Appa is stabled at the base of the temple. There the Bison stables are so huge ( Aang said the Northern Air Temple held Bison Polo games which he used to take part in) that a good part of them are still standing and Appa loved it there.

But I think Aang did not only go to the Bison stables: I think, perhaps, he is taking one last look at the temple, for he knows that even the last few remnants of his culture will soon be gone as the people here stamp their own character upon this place, as they make the temple their home.

Or perhaps he went to that charnel house to pay his respects, as the last airbender, to the bones of his people, and assure them that their home is still providing shelter to the new life within its walls.

I think I'd better stay up till he gets back.


	19. Chapter 19

**83 rd day of our journey. We left the Air temple at dawn and have been travelling due north for a whole day over the sea. The icebergs that dotted the ocean here and there have become more frequent, and by evening they had coalesced into what might be the ice shelf jutting out from the Northern land mass. We have set camp on the floating ice and tomorrow we'll continue our search for the Northern Water Tribe. The snowy lanscape is a keen reminder of the South Pole.**

Today was a long day. Long hours of forced inactivity on Appa's saddle are very trying, especially for Sokka. He was off to stretch his legs as soon as we landed, exploring this lumpy bit of ice we set up camp on. He took his club with him, even though it's pitch black out there. He'll probably come back empty-handed, for I haven't seen signs of Tiger Seals or arctic hens up here anyway.

As for me, I've seized the opportunity to practise. I found a clear space some way beyond our campsite. The snow and ice all around me are invigorating and it's like they're _urging_ me to waterbend. I hadn't realised I missed the snow and ice so much, until now.

I can see nothing but the deep translucent blue of the icy sea and the pristine whiteness of snow under a crescent moon ... and yet, despite all this bare emptiness and calm, cold purity, I feel more at home than in any other grand building I've been in on my travels!

I could feel the energy travel down my arms as I pushed and pulled the water into the shape that suits my mood. Right now, it's a barely contained excitement. The snow and ice moved fluidly to my commands, gleaming white and sparkling under the moonlight: I think with the help of the waterbending scroll I've made great progress from the little I knew when I left home. Then again: I've had to use waterbending to defend myself and the others, like during the Fire Nation attack on the temple, and experience is a great teacher, as Dad used to say. With the aid of a Waterbending Master, my training should be complete.

I tried to get Aang to practise with me, but he was off somewhere trying to find something to supplement the meagre rations we had for Appa, like some edible Sea weed. The poor beast's ravenous after the non-stop flying. I was so absorbed and focussed on waterbending that I did not see Aang return. He was sitting on top of a pointed ice formation, observing me quietly.

'You really should join me,' I said, my breath misting in the frigid air, 'I'd like to make a good impression on the Master who's going to teach us.'

'I'm sure you will, Katara - water is your element, but it's kinda late now' he pointed at the moon, which had travelled half-way across the sky, 'Even Sokka's back.'

The small figure of my brother approached us from the ice. He was empty-handed of course, but seemed unusually calm about it.

'Hey, guys –' he said, as he came up to us, 'I just realised something.'

He looked up at dark skies above our heads and the glittering spread of stars lighting up the darkness.

'Today is the new year.'

Sokka was right. With all that was going on, we had forgotten all about it. And since I date the entries in the scroll from the day we started our journey, I didn't notice it either.

'We used to celebrate the New Year with lighted torches and wind chants,' Aang said, wistfully.

'We had ceremonial dances, too' I remembered suddenly, 'But they'd been muted down a bit since the men left.'

'Yeah. But the New Year feast was good! Gran Gran outdid herself with the Sea Prune stew and stuffed Arctic hen, remember?' Sokka said with a dreamy look in his eyes.

We contemplated the serene beauty of the moonlit snow and ice for a moment in silence, each busy with their own thoughts.

'But this isn't so bad either,' Aang said finally, his eyes on the majestic beauty of the moon's reflection on the restless ocean.

I glanced up at the infinite stars and then at the ocean, the moon's reflection broken into a thousand glittering shards, like a white mosaic pathway leading right to the sparkling ice beneath our feet. The air was cold, and clean and pure, like the snow around us.

I glanced at Sokka, a strange pride welling inside me at the simple beauty of this familiar landscape.

'No,' Sokka agreed, quietly 'This isn't bad at all.'

It was unlike any other New Year we had celebrated, but privately, I think it will be one of the most memorable. We had almost arrived at our journey's end, our goal achieved and there was no better way than to have the Ocean and Moon spirits witness what might well be the start of a new chapter in our lives, as well as a new year.

'We should get some rest now,' Sokka said, breaking the spell.

'Coming, Katara?' Aang asked.

'You go ahead, I'm coming. I'll just do this ice disc move one more time...'

Aang slowly airbended himself off the ice and went off towards the camp, but I was too excited to think about sleeping.

I wished he'd agreed to train with me: there are more possibilities when two waterbenders train together, but Aang seemed content to have learnt the basic moves of waterbending, and for some reason, and for some time now, has not shown too much interest in elaborating on that. His waterbending is indifferent, even careless: he uses waterbending to serve whatever purpose he has in mind, and no more.

But _I_ know it can be so much more.

How cannot he not _feel_ the urge to waterbend, when water, here at the North Pole, is above, below, and all around us?!

Well, he said water is _my_ element, which is true. That's why I'm so keen to impress our future Waterbending Master. And, I suppose, as the last waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe, I feel I'm representing my people. Whereas Aang is just relying on the Waterbending Master to teach him everything he needs to know.

He's asleep now, curled up on one of Appa's six legs. He won't feel the cold: apart from the breathing techniques, which I assume he can control even when he's asleep, there's Appa's body heat. I remember how warm and comforting Appa was when my brother and I were sick in Taku. The gentle giant kept us warm even through the worst of the fever.

Sokka, too, is asleep, his hunting knife by his side. He said tomorrow we'll leave at dawn, because our supplies won't stretch that long in this frozen landscape, and besides, being winter, we could easily get caught in a blizzard, though we've been lucky so far to make the crossing in relatively good weather.

It is probably the early hours of the morning now, and my invisible ink is gleaming softly in the moonlight as I write. I'm hoping this quiet activity will lull me somewhat. The scroll is nearing its end now, but then, so has our journey. We have reached the North Pole, or we're very close anyway, and I hope that by tomorrow we will have accomplished what we set out to do months ago, from the other end of the world

**84 th day of our journey. Today was another long day of flying, tiring for both ourselves and the Avatar's flying bison, but the mainly uneventful day was suddenly turned into something very exciting when we finally made contact with the Northern Water Tribe ships in the afternoon. We were escorted to a beautiful city carved out of snow and ice by the many waterbenders here. Their leader, Chief Arnook, greeted the Avatar warmly and threw a feast in our honour and that of his daughter Yue's sixteenth Birthday. He has also offered us a beautiful ice house to stay in.**

We had been flying straight for almost two days now. This morning we set off in a north-westerly direction along the icy land mass of the North Pole, searching for the Northern Water tribe. Aang is used to long hours of flying, but Sokka was downright cranky. I was tired after staying awake for so long last night, but, true to my resolution, I tried to be more tolerant of my brother's mood.

I think the sight of the familiar snow and ice made him even more impatient to find what we came looking for, and he started complaining about Appa, who was tired and couldn't go any faster. Aang retaliated, ( Aang can't bear to hear anything said against Appa). Secretly, I thought he was right, too: poor Appa could barely keep himself airborne, and the icebergs here are very jagged-edged and dangerous.

So I found myself thrust in the position of peacemaker between the two.

It used to be the other way round, with Aang acting peacemaker between me and my brother, when we squabbled, (which was pretty often), especially in the desert area. I hope I'm doing a bit better now – after the experience with the Gan Jins and the Zhangs, I'm trying hard to keep my peace with Sokka.

It was then that we realised why the icebergs here were so jagged and sharp: more of them rose up suddenly from the sea, causing Appa to slam into the water. Even as I hung onto the saddle for dear life, I realised only waterbenders could raise and freeze the water like that. Then the water froze around Appa, trapping us, and elegant ships came slowly out from between the large jagged icebergs, with waterbenders in the blue and furlined water tribe clothes at their prow, bending the ships forward.

Their leader, Chief Arnook, a grey-haired man with a rugged, craggy face, was on the defensive at first, though surprised to find three kids on a bison. We quickly explained who we were.

'I thought as much,' Chief Arnook said, 'we have known of the Avatar's return for some months now, and when my lookouts said they had seen a flying buffalo, I suspected it would be you. I am sorry for the frosty greeting, but we cannot be too careful with the war. Welcome to the Northern Water Tribe, Avatar, and you too, my brother and sister of the Southern Water Tribe'.

Then they escorted us to the city. It was astounding. I had lived all my life in nothing more sophisticated than tents and igloos, and I had thought the big igloo in the centre of our village, where we hold our tribal ceremonies, was pretty awesome in size and comfort... yet it was nothing but a lowly hut when compared to the icy palaces here! And the walls and dams and locks that protected the city were enormous - indestructibly larger than anything I had ever seen. The gates were controlled by several waterbenders bending the water and ice simultaneously to open and close them.

Then we entered the city, which was built around a system of canals or waterways and as Appa swam slowly along, Water Tribe people gathered on the roofs and sidewalks of the canal, curious to see us – or rather Aang, the Avatar. It felt a bit like a triumphal procession with the Chief's skiff in front, leading it.

I suppose, in a way, it was: after crossing the whole world we had finally arrived at our destination, with the Avatar.

Our eyes must have been popping out of our faces when we saw how elaborate and sophisticated the city buildings were: elegant columns, windows, stairs, fountains, bridges... not only functional, but all beautifully carved and decorated and made out of pure white ice that gleamed brightly even in the dim light of low northern sun.

It brought forcefully to mind just how beautiful the Southern Water Tribe must have been before all the waterbenders were gone. This beautiful city was all the work of Waterbenders. Gran Gran had told me stories of when there were still waterbenders in the Southern Water Tribe, and the igloos, she said, had been much larger then. If they were anything half as nice as this splendid city...

I felt proud of what Waterbenders could achieve, for I could see it here with my own eyes, yet it was a pride tinged with bitterness.

'It would be an honour if you join us in a feast this evening,' Chief Arnook said after he had shown us to a beautiful ice-hewn house on a promontory.

'Feast? Sure - we'd love that!' Sokka jumped excitedly at the word 'feast'.

And so that night we were the honoured guests of Chief Arnook, sitting at his table and facing the rest of the guests, and everyone cheered when the Chief introduced us. He also introduced Princess Yue, his daughter, a beautiful girl with unusual white hair, and said it was her sixteenth Birthday.

'Princess Yue is now of a marriageable age,' he announced.

_Marriageable__ age!? _

It suddenly struck me that in less than two years time, I'd be her age and supposedly married myself! Though we're far more lax when it comes to 'marriageable age' back at the Southern Water Tribe, still, many of the women I knew were married at her age.

It seemed awfully young - and it wasn't for me! At least, not yet. Seeing the splendours waterbending could achieve had filled me with renewed resolve to seek new heights and new experiences with my skills.

Sokka, on the other hand, was completely head-over-heels over Princess Yue, and has taken her father's phrase 'marriageable age' completely to heart. I think he needs to polish up his pick-up lines, but his being at a loss for the right words seems a symptom. Sokka's rarely at a loss for words ...I think he's in love!

As for me, something happened during that feast that put all thoughts of romance, or ever being in Princess Yue's shoes any time soon, completely out of my mind...

I had kind of thought about finding someone interesting here at the North Pole – a bender perhaps, like Aunt Wu had said: and what more appropriate for a Southern Tribe girl, than a waterbender from the Northern tribe? After all, the place is full of them! There are even more benders here than I had ever imagined, but after the fiasco of misinterpreting Aunt Wu's words, I'm not going to pin my hopes on finding anyone to like here at the North Pole. The idea had crossed my mind often enough, both before we met Aunt Wu, and even more after her mysterious prediction. But when, to my shame, I almost made a complete fool of myself by thinking Aang was the 'powerful bender' she was referring to, I've been a bit wary of romance.

Although weeks have passed since that incident, I still feel uncomfortable sometimes, when I catch Aang's eyes, and see there that strange expression that I had once thought meant he liked me more than a friend... more than a sister...

Whereas he had just been infatuated with that Meng girl back at Makapu village!

There – the bitterness shows through, even in these faintly-visible words I'm writing... I don't even _know_ why I feel so negative about Aang's crush over that girl, and anyway, I should be over it by now, and certainly more mature about it. I need to carry on with my life: especially now, when I'm about to embark upon one of the most life-changing periods of my life.

Romance can wait till after. This is far more important.

In fact, it was waterbending that drove all thoughts of such frivolities ( like meeting a handsome bender here at the North Pole) right out of my head ... It was a demonstration of one of the most beautiful and expressive form of waterbending I had ever seen: Master Pakku, the waterbending Master of the Northern Water Tribe, and his students, stood on a raised platform in front of the guests and demonstrated waterbending in its most pure and elegant form.

It was nothing like I had ever seen before: it was not a fighting form, like the Water Whip; or functional, such as the creation of an ice bridge or simple transfer of water from one point to the other: it was simply and purely waterbending for its own sake alone!

Master Pakku, an old man with long hair, white as snow, falling beyond his shoulders, brought the graceful water columns swirling around and around with precise fluid movements. It looked like the water was a living entity somehow, and he was playing with it... dancing with the water.

Aang and I looked at ourselves: we had found the bending master we needed.

I could think of nothing else during that feast but I was kept busy talking to some of the other dignitaries responsible for the defence of the city, telling them about the Fire Nation raids of the Southern Water Tribe. Aang, however, was introduced the Master Pakku. He said he seemed a bit dour and strict, but then you don't become a Master Bender unless you apply yourself really well, do you?

Tonight, when I fall asleep, I want to dream I'm dancing with water...

**85 th day of our journey: Master Pakku has made the decision to teach only the Avatar, since, apparently, according to the Northern Water Tribe tradition, women are not taught how to fight.**

**I was sent to the women to learn the Healing Arts instead.**

This evening, when Aang tried to teach me the moves he learnt today, Master Pakku found out, and he is now refusing to teach the Avatar too.

Today was one of the biggest disappointments of my life, not to mention the most humiliating.

I had been so excited this morning to finally start learning really advanced waterbending. I never expected Master Pakku to refuse me like that! He has a dour face, but when Aang introduced me, Pakku turned round and look at me as though I was something that had crawled out of the gutter!

**'**In our tribe, it is forbidden for women to learn waterbending,' he said.

I could hardly believe my ears at first but then his words sank in.

'What do you mean you won't teach me?' I shouted, walking up to him 'I didn't travel across the entire world so you could tell me "no"!'

'No,' he said, with the infuriating, calm, smugness of someone who knows he's got the upper hand. Over a female, of course.

And I thought my brother was sexist!

I lost my temper.

'Your rules stink!' I shouted, but he was unmoved and continued to look at me superciliously from beneath his bushy white brows.

It was only when Aang, who was just as angry as I was, said he wouldn't learn from him anyway, that I came to my senses. Much as it was a bitter pill to swallow, yet I had long known it was far more important for Aang to learn from the best teacher, than it was for me. I appreciated his gesture, but persuaded him to return to Pakku and learn what the master had to teach. It was his inescapable duty.

Fighting tears, I dragged myself back down the impressive staircase that led from the Master Pakku's training platform, to the houses below where I looked for Yagoda's Healing House.

I hadn't given up hope to learn how to fight, but suddenly, all my hopes and dreams of joining in the war effort _now_, that I could be of use and help Aang in the fight against Ozai, came tumbling down my ears. The Avatar would need the _best_ benders of each element to help fight Ozai: and my skills would remain mediocre at best...

I tried to concentrate on Yagoda's teaching: given that I had only discovered my healing powers recently, I knew there would be a lot to learn in this skill too, and I suppose healing powers can be useful in a war...

Yagoda, an old, grey-haired bender, taught the handful of young girls in her class using a wooden, life-size model with the chi-pathways engraved along its surface. Using water imbued with her healing powers she let it flow along these lines.

Soon, in spite of the heavy feeling of disappointment weighing me down, I was drawn in to what she was saying. I learnt more about myself, and the mysterious source of our life force, as I watched the glowing water flow along the chi pathways. I learned about how the energy flows within our body, the differences and similarities between benders and non-benders, and many more things besides.

The soft blue-white glow of the water moved along the wooden model's arms and legs, reminding me of Aang's glowing tattoos. I couldn't stop wondering, every few minutes, how his lessons were progressing, and what I was missing. Aang had looked extremely reluctant to start. Not a good sign. I hoped my quarrel with that horrid old man hadn't made Aang even more unenthusiastic about learning waterbending.

It was at the end of the lesson that Yagoda said something that completely threw my mind off my problems: she said she knew Gran- Gran, who was born in the Northern Water tribe, and that my Mom's necklace was a betrothal necklace made by the man she was supposed to have married.

_Gran Gran?!_ No wonder I always felt that there was a lot more to Gran Gran than met the eye. A lot of the stories she used to tell us make sense now – about ice palaces and Avatar Kuruk and healing waters: no wonder, if she came from the Northern Water Tribe!

Yagoda also said I look like Gran Gran ( or her friend Kanna, as she called her).

I never expected to hear that about Gran Gran. I wonder what made her leave the North Pole so suddenly. Well, I, for one, wouldn't like to stay in such a male-dominated, chauvinistic place as this! My view of the Northern Water Tribe had certainly changed drastically since yesterday. I'm coming to the conclusion that I'd rather live a freer life back in our simple tents and igloos at the South Pole, than imprisoned here in these beautiful palaces by these guys' antiquated laws! I suppose Pakku is the worst of the lot -Yagoda said something to that effect before I left:

'So you didn't know it was a Betrothal necklace?' she said, her heavy-lidded eyes fixed on the pendant at my throat.

'No Gran Gran never said.'

'Ah, well... no, I suppose she wouldn't,' she gave me a strange look, then changed conversation quickly, 'I was hoping to get some gossip about the man in your life, Katara... most girls your age speak of nothing else if they are betrothed, and you look as though you're that age...'

'I'm only 14, and we take things a bit easier at the Southern Water tribe: no girl _has _to marry... Besides, I had set my mind on other things...' I told her of my disastrous meeting with Master Pakku.

'Ah, Pakku – he's one bitter old man: brilliant at waterbending forms, but very much lacking in any form of social skills. And it's his own fault – !' she broke off then, as though she had said too much.

'Yagoda, is healing the only waterbending the women here do? I mean, there are only very few girls with healing powers: what about the other women who can bend? How can they survive not being able to waterbend?'

'Oh, they do,' Yagoda answered with a smile, 'I'll show you. Come to the door:'

She led me to the door and we gazed outside.

'What do you see?' She waved her arm at the city of ice, rising tier upon tier in gleaming white beauty under the low, weak winter sun.

'The city. The most beautiful and delicately sculptured I've ever seen...' Suddenly I knew the answer: 'the women built it, right? They did all this.'

Yagoda nodded sagely and smiled 'They found a way to give vent to their waterbending power by building this delicate architecture, the most beautiful and lasting of all. The men will be gone one day, as everyone made of flesh and blood will, but the women's city will remain for as long as the Ocean and Moon spirits guard this land, Katara...'

I left Yagoda, feeling a bit more uplifted in spirit. Waterbending is part of who we are, and whether male or female, it will find a way of expressing itself, somehow, somewhere, and the women of this city could be rightly proud of what they had done.

When I returned to our house I was alone. Aang was still training and Sokka was off with the Northern Tribe warriors. The disappointment that I had tried to keep at bay during Yagoda's lesson came back in full force. I appreciate the healing lessons and even the amazing stuff the women built, but somehow, I don't think that that is what _I_ am meant for.

I want something else – something that perhaps the world is more in need of now, than healing powers or ice palaces: I think the world now needs more _warriors:_ the war is in its 100th year and with the Avatar returned, destiny's calling... I can hear its call, and I feel so frustrated that I can't act on it!

Eventually, Aang trailed in, looking very glum after a hard day with Master Pakku, who, I think, is making it even harder for Aang than for anyone else. And Sokka showed up even later and looking even glummer, for his date with Princess Yue did not go as well as he expected.

It was Sokka who suggested I take lessons from Aang.

Why hadn't I thought of it? It was a simple solution: Aang would repeat the day's lessons to me and that way I could learn too. My unhappiness vanished instantly and Aang and I ran outside eager to put into practise my brother's suggestion. We were doing well too, until Master Pakku appeared on the bridge over the canal where we were, livid that Aang had passed on his teachings to me.

'You are no longer welcome as my student!' he snarled at Aang, before he turned and left.

My first reaction was horror. It was closely followed by a cold fury, tempered by the fact that I had lost Aang his opportunity.

'I'm sorry, Aang – I shouldn't have insisted on doing this.'

'It's not your fault, Katara. Who'd have thought that Master Poophead would be skulking outside our house?'

'Yeah, That's right – it looked as though he _knew_ we'd do something like this!'

'What's the matter?' Sokka asked, seeing our faces as we went back inside.

I told him.

'Why don't you speak to Yue's father: – if anyone can get Pakku to start teaching Aang again, it's Chief Arnook!'

'I guess we could try,' I said 'If Pakku doesn't take Aang back... I'll never forgive myself – or that big jerk!'

'Katara -'

'Aang, I should've waited! It needn't have been tonight. I could've waited till after we left this stupid city, with its stupid, bigoted, old men and stupid, _stupid_ rules!'

'Hey, not everyone's here like that!' Sokka interrupted, 'And anyway, who says we're leaving the North Pole?'

I blinked at him, and then my eyes immediately sought Aang's. They were wide and apprehensive, but he kept his mouth shut.

'We haven't actually discussed what we're gonna do... _after_,' I said, very much aware of the unspoken plea in Aang's eyes, 'We were kind of focussed mainly on getting Aang to the North Pole to learn Waterbending, and not what to do _after_.'

'_You_ were very focussed on getting to the North Pole, cos you wanted to learn bending even more than Aang did,' Sokka retorted, ' But I've been giving it some thought, actually.'

'And what'd you think? Where d'you wanna go?' Aang's voice was barely audible, but his expressive eyes betrayed his apprehension.

After what nearly happened in the Abbey with Bato, I could understand his fear. I remembered that fear myself.

'We'll follow you to the ends of the earth, if necessary, Aang' I said staunchly, and the answer came so easily and obviously to me, that I knew it was what I had wanted all along. Though I had never really thought about it, I realised that that would always have been my answer.

'Yeah, that's what I'd been thinking,' Sokka nodded, 'Never a dull moment with you around Arrowboy!

'Thanks guys,' Aang spoke quietly, but his relief was evident.

'However,' Sokka continued, 'I kinda like this place! I think we should stay a while.'

'You want to stay because of Princess Yue!' I scowled, 'If Master Pakku doesn't take Aang back, I don't see why we should stay. We'll have to find another teacher!'

'But he's the best! Don't worry, Yue's dad will smooth things over. Besides, how many times does a bending Master get to teach an Avatar? He's gotta get a kick outa that.'

Aang nodded morosely. 'He sure does! But not in the way you think, Sokka!'

Master Pakku's teaching methods were just as abrasive and insulting as the rest of his behaviour, and Aang was finding it harder to cope with his attitude, than with the bending itself.

'Good,' Sokka grinned when I told him, 'If Pakku thinks Aang's so sloppy, then that means it's gonna be a long time before Aang's training is over! I need time to figure out why Yue's acting so weird!'

They're both asleep now and the pale moon is shining through the window on their curled-up forms. Once again I cannot sleep -not out of excitement but out of disillusionment. When I set off from home months ago, I had always imagined the North Pole to be like home, only bigger and better.

Well, it certainly is bigger, much bigger and more sophisticated than I had ever imagined, but it certainly is NOT better. Although there's nothing more than a few igloos and tents back at the South Pole, at least a girl there has more to look forward to, than an arranged marriage at sixteen and a life of feeling constantly inferior!

The very thought of it makes me shake with anger! I know I used to grumble a lot about chores and how idiots like my brother think (or used to think) that a woman's place is NOT with the warriors, but this is i_nfinitely_ worse! Why did Gran Gran never tell me? She knew after all!

Yagoda said she had an arranged marriage. I wonder if that had anything to do with her running away? I can never imagine myself in an arranged marriage... It doesn't even bear thinking about, and I wouldn't stand for it!

Gran Gran's very independent, with a mind of her own. She was a Chief's wife and the mother of one, so she had to be. Now I can understand what she once told me a bit better: _Don't be afraid of choosing your own path_ she had told me, and I can see why: she had the courage to leave behind a society bound by stupid traditions. How can someone else pick a companion you'd have to spend all your life with? Someone you probably don't even know? I wouldn't be surprised if the arranged marriage is what drove Gran Gran to leave the North Pole.

Thankfully, that is one tradition which we of the Southern Water tribe don't have! I fully intend to get to know (really, really well) and love my future husband before I marry!


	20. Chapter 20

**86 th day of our journey and our third at the Northern water Tribe: Chief Arnook and Master Pakku expected an apology, but instead I challenged Pakku to a duel. I lost, but Master Pakku changed his mind and decided to teach both the Avatar and I. We start tomorrow at dawn.**

That's all I feel I can write in the visible part of this journal. If anyone does read it one day, they'll have to draw their own conclusions as to why Pakku changed his mind about teaching a girl.

I will explain everything here, in the part that's reserved for my eyes only: the reason he changed his mind is pretty weird. The whole day was pretty weird, really – and it started off with one of the most humiliating things I have ever had to go through: an abject apology to that stubborn, bigoted, Waterbending Master...

Sokka, Aang and I had gone up to the Chiefs' Ice hall, where Chief Arnook, his daughter Yue, Pakku and some other tribal elders heard our plea to re-instate Aang's lessons. Chief Arnook said he could not force Pakku, but thought an apology from me would help.

Not Sokka. Not Aang – it was me, _the girl,_ who was supposed to swallow her pride and apologise!

Much as I tried to keep an even temper, I could feel the anger rising in me as Pakku looked down at me from beside Chief Arnook. His expression was one of unmitigated displeasure and disdain, both of which I returned with interest. Who in the world did he think he was?

I glanced back at Aang. He looked subdued and I knew he would not question any decision I took, even if it meant he didn't get to learn waterbending.

I gave in.

'Fine!' I shouted, sounding anything but that.

I went over in my mind the words I should address to Pakku: _I am sorry for disrespecting your traditions, I am sorry for trying to learn waterbending; I am sorry for being A GIRL!_

But the words wouldn't come out. They rose in my throat like bile, choking me. I wasn't sorry for _anything_ !

'I'm waiting, little girl.' Pakku managed to imbue so much contempt in those few words that the choking rage that I was barely bottling up inside me spilt over and I shouted at him.

I'm not even sure what I shouted, but I was trembling with rage and ice and water cracked and crashed uncontrollably around me. Finally, I flung my challenge at him like a slap across the face:

'_I'll_ be outside – if you're man enough to fight me!'

I could hear gasps of surprise and saw the men stiffen with outrage. For a mere girl to challenge the master waterbender among a bunch of warriors like that was something scandalous even back home in the Southern Water Tribe. And perhaps the old Katara wouldn't have done it back at the South Pole, but a lot of time and experience had passed since then: I had travelled across the world for this opportunity, only to have to renounce all my dreams. This final humiliation was just too much to take. I didn't care! I didn't care about their stupid traditions, and they could be scandalised all they wanted to: I wanted to show that sour old man what a girl can do!

'You're not gonna win this fight!' Sokka said, following me down the long flight of steps outside.

'I know! I don't care!'

At this point, I just wanted to do something –_anything_ - to shake some sense into that stubborn old man. I knew I had just challenged the Waterbending Master I had come to take lessons from - there was no way I could win, but I had to show him I was worth something, and I just hoped I'd get the opportunity to whip some sense into him before I went down.

Aang was worried I was doing it because of him, but it had gone beyond finding a waterbending master now: this was _personal._

To humiliate me even further, Pakku refused to fight at first, but I soon changed that. He finally retaliated, condescendingly saying he would not hurt me.

Well, I promised no such thing in return: I was out to get him with all I had! I was determined and focussed and I darn well was going to give it all I got!

At first, I was a bit unsteady: my hands were still shaking from the all-consuming rage, but Pakku's continued, unrelenting disdain focussed my anger into something cold and purposeful. Consequently, my waterbending, strangely enough, was the best it had ever been yet.

Perhaps it was also the knowledge that I had no hope of winning this fight, so it wasn't a question of winning, but of going down fighting!

And so we duelled. He initially tried to intimidate me: bending huge whirling walls of water around me. Perhaps he thought that would be enough to scare me and send me running to the women's healing huts 'where I belong'!

He didn't know that I had faced Fire Nation tanks and the combined Firepower of Prince Zuko and Zhao's fleet: it would take more than _that_ to intimidate me!

He soon realised he had a bit more on his hands than he had bargained for, and his attack became more purposeful, but Aang's cry of encouragement and the crowds' cheers (Yes, a crowd had gathered to see the unprecedented attack of a mere girl on a waterbending warrior, and they actually _cheered_: I assume his dour attitude to one and all must have made him less than popular). This gave me confidence to repel his attack and retaliate with some of my own. It took a lot of quick thinking just to keep up with him, however, and I was soon out of breath and barely keeping up with what he threw at me.

The fight became uglier and though I had a few near misses which made him grudgingly say he was impressed, it soon became evident that he _did_ know better moves. He knocked me over time and again. I refused to give up and time and again rose to my feet, but finally he turned water into shards of ice, like swords, that fell about me and imprisoned me so that I could not bend any further. My hackles were up, and I would have continued the fight, but he walked away, probably smugly satisfied he had taught me who the superior bender was. The crowd dispersed with shocked, but sombre faces.

It was then that he noticed the necklace. _My_ necklace. It had fallen off during the fight.

Only Pakku said it was _his_ - he had carved it himself for the love of his life: Kanna.

The ice shards around me turned into water, releasing me, and I walked up in disbelief to Master Pakku. I was still trying to get my head around the implications of his words, but what astounded me most of all was the grief-stricken look on his severe, craggy face.

It looked like he had seen a ghost.

Perhaps, in a way, he had.

'I thought we would have a long, happy life together. I loved her,' he said simply, as his hand closed tightly over the necklace he had carved sixty years ago.

My previous fury at his attitude dissipated completely: he looked nothing more than a sad, lonely old man now, and I thought I could see why there was so much bitterness in his heart.

'But she didn't love you, did she? It was an arranged marriage.'

I knew, as though I was my grandmother Kanna herself in spirit as well as in looks, what had driven Gran Gran away. Gran Gran had always known her own mind and she had always taught us to be unafraid of choosing our own path. She was not the kind of woman to be dictated to. But it was only now that I was realising what kind of rigid, oppressive traditions she had been up against.

'Gran-Gran wouldn't let your tribe's stupid customs run her life. That's why she left,' I said, hardening my heart: I had just experienced the anguish such customs can give rise to, 'It must have taken a lot of courage,' I added, grimly.

I heard the sound of sobbing behind me, and from the corner of my eyes I saw Yue run off in tears.

'Go get her,' Aang said, and Sokka took off after her. Chief Arnook was frowning and made as if to follow, but Aang said something I didn't catch, and Yue's father hesitated, glancing over at Master Pakku.

Before I could even think why Princess Yue was so upset at Master Pakku's story, he was speaking again.

'Yes, it _was _an arranged marriage, but that's not the reason she left. Although you might not think so, Kanna _did_ return my love…'

'_What?_! But then why- ?'

'It was my fault,' Pakku said in a low voice, 'I let traditions and customs come between us. I acted like a proud waterbender and warrior was _expected _to act: I spent my time with the other warriors, ignoring Kanna, and I lost patience with her when she did things other women were not supposed to do.'

'Like what?' I couldn't contain my curiosity at this insight into the life of someone I had always known as old, care-worn and severely dedicated to duty.

Pakku gave a wry smile, his eyes unfocussed and fixed on the distant memories: 'She taught herself how to use a spear, she'd go on hunting trips alone in the tundra, she'd take a boat and disappear for a whole day … she'd refuse to do her cleaning and cooking chores –'

'Gran Gran?! _Refusing_ to do her chores?!'

Wish I knew that little bit of information, back when she made me spend my days doing nothing else when all I wanted was to practise bending …

'Well, Kanna was a unique girl. It is what drew me to her in the first place. She was feisty, headstrong, and had a mind of her own, in fact … in fact, she was very much like you, Katara.'

The blue eyes beneath the bushy white brows widened in realisation as he looked at me. But when he spoke again there was an infinite sorrow in his voice.

'I'm ... I'm afraid I treated you even more severely than is my wont, Katara,' he said, 'because you are so like your Grandmother in spirit and even in looks, that, on some level, you must have reminded me of her, and –' he stopped, an expression of both pain and anger passing fleetingly over his face.

'You reminded me how angry I was with her for running away. Subconsciously I took that anger out on you. Forgive me.'

He looked at me steadily but humbly, a heartbroken old man who had once hoped to have a long happy life with the woman he loved, but who could now only gaze in sorrow at me: the shadow of what could-have-been, for him.

'It's ok. I understand. It – it must've been hard to never see the one you love again,' I replied, feeling a lump in my throat.

'I deserved it!' he retorted in a harsh voice, 'There were signs that Kanna was unhappy. Signs I chose to ignore because I relied too much on the customs of betrothal. Betrothal is almost as fast a commitment as marriage - _no-one_ ever dares break the betrothal pledge. And I thought Kanna would come round. They told me women always do when a warrior proves his worth, and I was the best waterbender in the whole city...'

'But it wasn't enough'.

His eyes, which had been fixed on these far-off memories, turned to look at me, clouded over with the weight of his past mistakes. Then he hung his head and glanced at the gleaming blue necklace in his hand - a relic from the past returning to haunt him.

'No, it wasn't,' he said, and he handed me the necklace.

My fingers curled around it, and I held it for a second before putting it on.

'You have no idea how precious this necklace is to me,' I said quietly, 'But now that I know it's' story, it will be doubly precious. It was given to me by my mother, and to her by Gran – by Kanna'

His eyes followed the movement of my hands as I shook back my dishevelled hair and tied the necklace around my throat 'My mother said Gran Gran wanted this necklace to pass down the female line of our family. So it must have meant something to her ... once, at least.'

Master Pakku said nothing, but looked at me with wonder in his eyes, thirstily drinking in every word I said. It made me realise how long 60 years must have seemed with no news of his once bride-to-be.

'You know, if she loved you, leaving must have taken even more courage than going against your customs and traditions,' I said, with sudden insight.

I don't know if _I _could do that. I can't imagine being in love with someone like Pakku, of course: he must have been an overbearing kind of guy, even as a young man. Not that he looked overbearing now. He looked almost stricken at my words.

'How is she now?' he asked in a low voice, sounding more anxious than he would probably have liked to let on.

I smiled. 'Fine. She is the last member of our family left alive at the South Pole. Last time my brother and I saw her was the day we tried to sneak away from home to find Aang.' I nodded to where Aang stood a little apart with Chief Arnook. 'She knew, somehow, what we were planning to do. Instead of being angry or upset, she just gave us supplies and sent us on our way.'

The old waterbending master's face crinkled into the first smile I had ever seen him smile.

'Yes, that's Kanna,' he said.

It was strange to think that there had been someone else before Grandpa, but then, I had always felt there was so much more to Gran Gran than she ever let on. The fact she knew so many things about the different nations, the fact that she seemed so familiar with Avatar Kuruk's stories, and the myth and legends about the Ocean and Moon Spirits... She was an amazing woman.

I took a deep breath.

'Anyway, I - I guess I had better be on my way, Master Pakku. If - I mean _when_, - I return to the South Pole, I will tell Gran Gran I have met you. We might not see each other again, but I thought I'd let you know.'

I bowed and gave the customary formal salute, which seemed a bit odd, given what we had just been talking about. But I had to move on now. I turned to where Aang and Chief Arnook stood a little aside, so as to leave us space for a private conversation. Chief Arnook had what I could only describe as a twinkle in his eye, and Aang looked surprised. I wondered how much of our conversation they had overheard. Then I noticed they were both looking beyond me at Master Pakku.

'Katara –' Master Pakku's voice called me back. He sounded very solemn.

I turned round.

'We start tomorrow at dawn,' he said.

At first I didn't understand. It was Aang's sudden joyful shout ( 'Yeesss!') as he punched the air with his fist in victory and airbended himself several feet in the air, that I realised Master Pakku was offering to teach me.

I whirled round to look at him.

'D'you mean-?!'

I couldn't go on.

He nodded. 'It's the least I can do to make amends to Kanna... and to her grandchild,' he added, with a small bow in my direction. 'Besides, I have never seen such impressive bending from someone who is completely self-taught.'

I could've hugged him. Perhaps he was afraid I would, because with a _harrumph_ he cleared his throat and repeated gruffly: 'At dawn.' And to Aang, who was still whooping in glee: 'As for you, young Avatar, a bit earlier. You need the extra bit to compose your scatter-brained exultations before your friend joins us.'

Then he turned and left, leaving me staring at him with shiny-eyed happiness I could barely contain!

'If you'll excuse me, now, Avatar,' Chief Arnook addressed Aang, 'I really have to go and see what upset my daughter. Congratulations, Katara: I hope you enjoy your lessons. I have never seen Master Pakku so ... well... _mellowed.'_

And he left us, still shaking his head incredulously.

When he was out of sight, Aang and I turned to each other, shiny-eyed:

'Woohooo!' I jumped and whooped just like some crazy, giddy, little girI, making even Aang stare! With my dishevelled, wet hair and wild looks, I must've looked a sight! But after the harrowing duel and the anger and humiliation, it felt just so good to laugh!

We ran all the way to our dwelling, racing each other and behaving like lunatics: I wanted to try the water slide thing I had seen Master Pakku do before he trapped me in icicles. It worked for a bit and I rode the ice slide, gliding fast and furious past windows and doors and under bridges, but in the end I almost ended up in the canal, for Aang, who had been enthusiastically airblasting snow out of my path on his airscooter, got carried away and air-blasted the ice slide itself away. He caught my hand just in time to stop me from falling in the canal.

I was still breathless and giggly by the time we got home, for we had elicited quite a few raised eyebrows, but I felt as giddy and reckless as I had done on the superslides at Omashu.

It was getting dark by then, but as we entered the pelt-lined house, I realised Sokka wasn't there. I set about preparing dinner, trying to compose myself and contain my excitement.

'D'you know what's wrong with Yue?' I asked, remembering her bursting into tears.

'Nope,' Aang shrugged.

Just then Sokka came in.

'Sokka – Master Pakku said he'll teach me!' I cried excitedly.

'Great,' he said, throwing himself down on his sleeping bag, but there was something forced about his smile.

'Well, supper's ready, I prepared some-'

'Not hungry.'

I stared at him. He was looking off into space, a troubled look on his face. I placed the bowl of food nearby where he would see and smell the delicious food inside.

He ignored it completely.

'Is Princess Yue still giving you a hard time?' I ventured.

'No! Well ... yes! But it's not her fault!'

'What was she upset about?' Aang asked.

Sokka looked at him for a second without speaking, then;

'Some things about this place really stink!' he said, savagely, 'And I wish she'd never -!'

'Never, what?'

I had never seen my brother look so serious and upset.

'I wish she'd never kissed me!' and he jumped up and strode to the door. 'I'll be back soon. I - I'm just going for a walk'

And with that he went out of the door.

I looked at Aang, puzzled, but he shrugged and shook his head too.

'If she kissed him, I would've thought that's sort of an obvious sign that she likes him,' I said, picking up Sokka's untouched bowl, 'Anyway, I'll save this for later. He's sure to be hungry.'

It's late now, and Aang is already asleep since Master Pakku wants him to be at the training plateau before dawn. I'm really excited myself, but Sokka is still not back from his walk, and he has me slightly worried. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Princess Yue strikes me as a nice girl, and not one to be fickle or toy with someone's affections.

**110 th day of our journey and the twenty seventh at the Northern Water Tribe. The Avatar and I are training hard under Master Pakku's expert teachings. He is a severe and exacting master and difficult to please, but he said that I have progressed far quicker than anyone he has ever taught, and in the sparring area I am now unbeaten by any of his other students. Master Pakku is impressed by the Avatar's raw talent, but expects to see more effort.**

I have been so busy training hard that I have neglected this journal, for both Aang and I arrive home late and exhausted. Well, at least, I do- I'm giving this training my whole heart and soul because this is a hard-won opportunity and I want to prove my worth as a waterbender. And I definitely don't want Master Pakku to regret his decision to teach me. Aang has none of these motives to drive him however, and the more eager I've become, the less he seems interested.

As for my brother, his strange mood continues. Sometimes I catch him smiling dreamily at nothing in particular, at other times he's scowling at nothing.

Just to catch up with what has happened these past three weeks since I last wrote in this scroll, after Sokka told us Yue had kissed him, I didn't see him till early the following morning, while I was getting ready to go to my first lesson. Aang had already left, and my brother – quite unusually - was up too, fully dressed, even though it was too early to go to warrior training.

'Don't you want breakfast?' I asked, looking with amazement on his untouched bowl from the night before.

'Nah.'

'Look, I gotta go to my first lesson, I'll talk to you later, ok?'

I rushed out of the door, intending to have a good talk with him as soon as I got back. He was clearly in love with the Chief's daughter. Something was wrong however, and it was strange to see Sokka so distracted.

I almost didn't get to Master Pakku's lesson on time that day, because Yagoda caught up with me and told me how happy she was that Pakku was teaching me: she knew Gran Gran had been engaged to marry him, and that sometimes his high-and-mighty manners irritated her old friend, but since she seemed to like him in spite of it all, she never suspected exactly why Kanna ran away, though she had her suspicions.

'Kanna'll be proud of you, I'm sure,' old Yagoda said, patting me on the arm, 'Persuading Master Pakku to teach a _girl_! Amazing!'

Master Pakku himself gave me a small smile as I took my place beside Aang for the first lesson, but then such frivolities were put completely behind us as we got down to business, and Pakku, to his usual dour strictness.

As the days wore on and we were asked to perform more and more difficult waterbending moves, I came to understand Master Pakku's teaching methods a bit better. I also understood (or thought I did) why Aang wasn't putting too much effort into learning.

Pakku had a dry sense of humour that usually took the form of subtle insults on any real or perceived lack of skill or mistakes on his pupils' part. He treated everybody the same, and all were left smarting under his sharp tongue. Perhaps with Aang he was even a bit sharper than the rest, though I must say he kind of deserved it sometimes, because he clearly had a lot of 'raw talent' as Master Pakku himself observed, and yet, he kept getting distracted.

The other students were jerks too – at first. Not to Aang – but to _me. _There was a lot of sniggering and snide remarks about me and Master Pakku. Some of the senior students took their cue from Pakku's earlier treatment and threw me dark looks, telling me to go back to my pots and pans where I belonged. Master Pakku had to intervene several times to break up impromptu fights I got into. If I hadn't allowed the waterbending master himself to push me around like that, I wasn't prepared to let these half-baked idiots do it!

'Save it for the sparring circle!' he told us harshly, breaking up our fights with stinging water lashes that were _meant_ to hurt. He didn't spare me either, for which I was glad – I didn't want the other students saying he was gentler on me because I'm a girl. After all, in a _real_ fight – no one is going to spare me out of etiquette!

To my secret relief, however, over the first few days, the dark looks and sneering comments from the other students soon stopped, to be replaced by a stunned silence as they realised I was just as good as they were. This, in turn, turned to a grudging acceptance, and yesterday one of them, Akycha, turned to me and said in a wondering tone: 'You're too good. I can't believe you had no-one to teach you anything back at the South Pole!'

That felt good. But the students weren't the only source of discomfort. Master Pakku's disciplined teaching methods and stinging remarks took some getting used to. I felt the sharp edge of his tongue myself a couple of times, but his sneering comments just goaded me to prove to him that I could do it, that I would make him _eat his words._I noticed that most of his students reacted the same way - except for Aang.

I could see Aang got irritated and even frustrated at each attack, and this was usually followed by an even more unfocussed, scatter-brained approach to waterbending afterwards.

Even when we weren't under the direct scrutiny of Master Pakku's gaze, Aang never volunteered to try out any new moves or spar with me or anyone. On these occasions, he pushed _me_ forwards, so that I got the opportunity myself. I jumped at each chance of course, but couldn't understand why he was acting this way. We were supposed to be learning together, and yet it seemed as though he wanted to give me the centre stage.

'Why didn't you try out that ice shard move, Aang?' I asked, as we were walking home at sundown one evening.

'I thought you'd do it much better, Katara.'

'This isn't about who's better, Aang, it's about learning,' I said, remembering with a twinge of guilt that once it was I who had become so competitive about it.

'Oh, I learnt of few tricks,' he said, grinning.

I gave an exasperated sigh. 'Yeah, well, knowing how to bend the snow into a moving snowman isn't going to help you defeat the Fire Lord, you know!'

He looked slightly crestfallen.

'Are you really putting any effort into it, Aang? I mean- when I showed you the first moves of waterbending, you were so _good _at it. You learnt so quickly ...'

'Well, like I told you back then, you're a great teacher, Katara.'

I smiled at him, but I was a bit worried, for I started suspecting that Pakku's teaching methods were a problem for Aang, though that didn't entirely explain the lack of effort.

'Oh, Sokka's not home yet,' I said. We had arrived at our house and though it was already dark, once again, Sokka was not there. 'I hope he feels better. It's strange seeing Sokka so ... so ...'

'Grim and silent.'

'Yeah. Totally unlike my brother. Though perhaps the 'grim' bit isn't that far off. I wonder if he's gone to see Yue.'

'He can't. Or at least, he said he shouldn't.'

'What?! Why? D'you know anything about it? I didn't have time to speak to him.'

'I did. This morning. Sokka is ... uh... kinda very much in love with Yue,' Aang said, rubbing his head and frowning.

'So?'

I had figured that much out myself.

'She's betrothed.'

Aang's words fell glumly from his lips.

'Oh.'

_Betrothed_. That explained a lot. Poor Sokka.

'And like Master Pakku said that day, no-one ever dares break a betrothal pledge,' Aang continued.

'Especially the daughter of the Chief of the largest city in the whole North Pole. It's those stupid traditions all over again!'

'What would you do in her place?' Aang asked, with a strange look on his face.

'Me? Well, what d'you think?! I'd dump their stupid traditions in the nearest canal, of course, and go out with whomsoever I pleased!'

'Sokka said it wasn't so simple.' But Aang had a small, pleased smile on his face.

'Yeah, well, I'm sure it's not. Princess Yue isn't just any water tribe girl. Still, to be used as a _bargaining point_ to satisfy the city's political system...and ... and your father's position within that...' I stopped.

My cheeks flushed in silent rage at the unfairness of it all. Sokka was right: it wasn't so simple. But then I had just shown them that customs and tradition s could be flouted without dire consequences.

It was a few days later that I managed to talk to Sokka. With my intense training sessions that now last into the evening, I hadn't had much time to speak with him. I have started going to Yagoda at night, too: she agreed to let me have some private lessons in the Healing Arts, after my daily routine with Master Pakku. Given that Sokka and I had agreed to follow Aang to wherever he needs to go, we are bound to come up against even more fighting, so it's a good skill to have.

'I'm sorry about Yue,' I said gently.

Aang had had to leave early again to endure some extra training with Pakku, but Sokka was still at home.

'We're friends. Only _friends_,' Sokka retorted, a little too forcefully.

'It's those stupid traditions again. An arranged marriage. How could they-?' I stopped before I started ranting. I didn't think it was what Sokka wanted to hear. 'At least you know she likes you...'

'That only makes it worse,' he mumbled, 'Anyhow, how's your training going?'

I recognised the change in conversation and left it at that. For now. I have half a mind to speak to Yue myself one of these days.

'Oh fine. Pakku's pleased I learn so quickly, and he's NOT easy to please. Aang's having a rougher time with the lessons, though. He's not concentrating enough, and he seems to have lost interest. The strict methods are a bit frustrating for him, I think. Pakku's made some stinging remarks...'

'Oh, Aang doesn't have your thick hide for insults. At least, not for insults from those close to him.'

'Whereas I, on the other hand, have grown up with your bright-arsed comments constantly in my ears!'

'Exactly, ' Sokka grinned at my infuriated face, 'You take it as a challenge and do things even better. But Aang's different: he refuses to firebend again cos he hurt you; and he lost his interest in waterbending ever since you yelled at him for being better than you - he just doesn't want to fight with you over waterbending again!'

I gaped at my brother.

'What? I'm right, aren't I?' Sokka said.

'I ...' I opened my mouth to argue, But nothing came out.

He _was r_ight.

'You say he's not concentrating enough,' Sokka went on, 'But he seemed to concentrate just fine when _you_ first taught him, Katara. And you've been saying he's lost interest ever since you used that Waterbending Scroll...'

I scowled at him. 'And what makes _you_ so perspicacious all of a sudden?'

I crossed my arms and glared at him, knowing all the time that his words were true. But this was _Sokka!_ He didn't know the meaning of the word 'sensitive' or 'subtle emotion' if they up and bit him in the butt!

'Hidden talent,' he smiled, with a return of his old spirits, as he slipped his coat over his head.

'Very well hidden. Hmm, perhaps I _should_ have a word with Yue. Being in love has certainly unlocked some good stuff in you.'

I turned to get my own coat, but I could see that Sokka had an almost stunned expression on his face.

'We're just friends,' he repeated, more as though to convince himself rather than to convince me.

'Yeah, right.'

If they were only good 'friends' than I deserved to be called 'blind' as well as 'thick-skinned'! Yue had _kissed_ him! What clearer message is a girl supposed to give a guy she likes?

I certainly would never dream of kissing anyone unless I really liked them.

It came close with Jet, but thankfully, it didn't happen. I think I would've been even more upset if it had.

The only other boy I've ever kissed is Aang: and I suppose I didn't meant to: I was just over-euphoric when he gave me back my mother's necklace. And it was just a kiss on the cheek. All that stupid stuff about Aunt Wu's words and Meng were already behind me...

I don't want to think about it or write about it. I made a mistake, that's all. And dwelling upon it makes me feel... uncomfortable.

Besides, Aang's just a kid: he's behaved even more so since we started training.

I thought, perhaps, it was in reaction to Master Pakku's abrasive teaching methods, but Sokka's words have set me thinking.

Perhaps Aang is really doing it to let me take centre stage. But surely not because of what happened with the waterbending Scroll? I had promised myself I'd never let that happen again.

Aang doesn't know that, though. What if he's acting like this because of _me_? He's got so much talent: if he applied himself to learning half as much as I do, I'm sure he'd have mastered waterbending by now.

The more I think about it, the more it seems likely. Even Sokka has noticed. What I mistook for childish fooling around, or a reaction to Pakku's strictness, is actually something much more complicated. Aang may be a kid, but he sure is a special one to put _me _before his own training. I really must talk to him about it. I don't care if he turns out to be a better waterbender than me – he's the _Avatar, _and his training and mastery of the element has to come before mine! This is all my fault – the far-reaching consequences of that day, so long ago now, when I had been so mean to Aang! I was blind not to have seen through his acting like this.

And now I must make amends. He's got to realise this isn't about me anymore. He just _has_ to make the effort!

Tomorrow Master Pakku said I will be duelling each of his students in turn. I have a feeling it will be a test of some sort. After that, I'll speak to Aang and perhaps I can persuade him to step up his efforts: we have already been almost four weeks here at the North Pole, and even winter is slowly drawing to an end. With two more elements to master before summer's end, we're not moving fast enough.


	21. Chapter 21

**111 th day of our journey and the 28 th at the Northern Water Tribe**. **Today, black snow fell out of the sky. It heralded the arrival of a huge fleet of Fire Nation ships. The water tribe warriors and other city dignitaries were called to the Ice Hall where Chief Arnook gave a solemn speech, saying many will vanish from the tribe in the upcoming battle. Then he selected some warriors for a dangerous mission. My brother volunteered. **

**Everyone scrambled to get ready for battle, and soon warriors were lining the huge city walls. We sighted the Fire Navy ships at noon and they attacked without even an attempt at parley. Not that we were expecting it. Huge fireballs were flung off the decks of the ships straight at the outer city walls, damaging them by the sheer force of impact. Thankfully, walls and buildings here are made of ice, so the risk of fire spreading is less than in other cities. The Avatar launched an attack on several ships, single-handedly disabling them, but there are hundreds more…**

**They bombarded the outer walls solidly for hours, but the waterbenders have managed to stave off most of the damage, and, as yet, there are no fatalities among us, though casualties are many.**

**The Fire Nation called off their attack at dusk, but they will probably resume tomorrow at daybreak. It is going to be a sleepless night.**

I was in the Sparring Circle when it happened. I had just beaten all the other guys Master Pakku had trained, and received some rare words of praise from the old Master himself. None of the boys wanted a re-match. If that was a test he had set me, then I suppose I passed with flying colours.

It was an entirely different matter with Aang. He was playing with Momo, completely oblivious to what was going on. His distractedness and fooling around reached new heights today, but I had already resolved to speak to him as soon as lesson was over. If he was acting up like this because of me, then he'd have to quit doing it. It was his duty, as Avatar, to learn.

Master Pakku then told Aang to step into the sparring circle and take the place the other guys had refused to.

Aang had to fight me!

That made me a bit uncomfortable. I didn't want to do it. It was one thing practising moves with Aang, but an outright match was not something I thought I'd have to do. As Pakku said, his raw talent was not enough, but I'd've felt bad whether I won, or lost, a match against Aang.

On the other hand, I knew there'd have to be a first time for everything, so, with a deep breath, I took my position in the Sparring Circle.

Aang's mind was on other things however, and, to my dismay, he showed Master Pakku his Snowman trick instead.

We were both unimpressed.

'Oh right, Sparring Circle! Hang on – I'll _make_ a sparring circle!' and he started rolling in a circle, bending the snow deep into the ice in a round shape, goaded on by the chuckling of some of the other guys.

I was seriously thinking of bending some snow right over him and freezing him to the spot, when I noticed the black snow falling.

Black snow.

I remember it falling back at the Southern Water tribe like it was yesterday. It heralded the Fire Nation raid on our village. I was a little girl then and didn't know what the soot meant, and how the coming of the black snow would change my life forever.

But now, when I saw the dancing black specks falling out of the sky, I had a heart-stopping sense of déjà-vu that rooted me to the spot. Everyone around me was looking up in bewilderment at the darkening sky.

'It's the Fire Nation!' I choked out.

Master Pakku's head whirled round to look at me.

'They're coming!' I whispered, as the pure white snow turned a polluted black at my feet.

Seconds later it dawned on me that _we_ must have led them here. The North Pole hadn't been attacked in decades! It couldn't be a coincidence – not after the battle at the Northern Air Temple. They had found us! The soot came from the chimneys of Fire Navy ships – probably Admiral Zhao's fleet.

Just then the sound of a gong rent the air: the reverberating, deep rhythm was urgent and fast.

Master Pakku took off at the sound of it.

'Maybe we should follow him,' Aang said, the levity of a few moments completely disappearing. 'You know what this means, don't you?'

'The Fire Nation found us,' I replied, bleakly.

He nodded miserably. 'They're after _me_. It's like Kyoshi all over again.'

'Kyoshi was a small village on a small island. This is the _North Pole_, Aang: it has stood proud and undefeated for all of the 100 years of this war! And it'll do so again: we're not running away this time!'

'Yeah, we'll beat them like we did at the Northern Air Temple!' Aang replied, brightening, 'you're right, Katara'.

We went inside the Great Ceremonial Ice Hall where all the warriors were gathered and sat at the back, where we were soon joined by Sokka, who had a distraught look on his face. He did not speak to us, but kept his eyes on the raised dais up front where Chief Arnook stood in ceremonial dress with Princess Yue by his side. The chief called upon the Ocean and Moon Spirits to be with us as he feared many would vanish forever in the upcoming battle.

He called it 'battle for our existence' and given what had happened to the Air Nomads and even the Southern Water Tribe, I knew his ominous words were not an exaggeration. A deep-seated dread shivered through me, as I tried to push away the memories of the devastating Fire Nation attacks on our village. This big city was not a small tribal village, and it was well-equipped for war, with massive defensive structures and an army of well-trained water-benders and warriors. Still, Chief Arnooks' sombre words about the coming death of many of the faces around me was terrifying. They were so young…

So many faces had disappeared from the Southern Water Tribe too, and they had been just as young. My mother had been a young woman… and many nameless others all across the whole world.

All because of the Fire Nation greed and cruelty.

Perhaps this was the time of reckoning. Perhaps this was the time to avenge what happened to the Southern Water Tribe. And what could be more appropriate than our sister tribe in the North Pole? Now that I was a trained waterbender, I counted for something, and there was Aang with us, too.

It was then that Sokka volunteered for a dangerous mission for Chief Arnook. I was fearful, but also, in equal measure, proud of my brother. I saw him glance at Yue as he went up to get his warrior's mark from Chief Arnook, but I don't think he did it to impress her, judging by the sad, distraught look on both their faces.

Later, I joined Aang and Chief Arnook outside the building. Aang was looking at the distant ocean beyond the city walls. The streets were deserted, as all women, children and the old and infirm had been instructed to seek shelter in the deep ice caverns beneath the city, so, although the sun was shining brightly, there was an unnatural silence over the city. The black snow had stopped falling: whether because it had stopped snowing or the ships had stopped moving, I couldn't tell. I squinted hard at the horizon, but could see nothing. The sun is always low on the horizon in this tundra winter, but the visibility was crystal clear now that it had stopped snowing.

'The stillness before battle is unbearable,' Chief Arnook was telling Aang 'Such a quiet dread.'

'I wasn't there when the Fire Nation attacked my people. I'm gonna make a difference this time,' Aang said, with fierce determination.

'I'm grateful and honoured for your help in the upcoming battle, Avatar,' Chief Arnook gave a small bow.

'It's the least I could do. I'm ... I'm sorry your people had to go through this, Chief Arnook. The Fire Nation is here because of me,' Aang confessed guiltily.

'Of course it is. We knew this would happen.'

'You – you did?'

'Yes. Ever since the Spirit light glowed, some months ago, and indicated that the Avatar had returned. The tribal elders told me then that the Avatar would seek the waterbending knowledge of the Northern Water Tribe one day.'

'Oh.'

'I just didn't expect it to be so soon, but I knew that when it did, it would give the Fire Nation every reason to attack us again and remove, with one blow, the only remaining undefeated Water Tribe, as well as the only threat to the Fire Nations' continued expansion: the Avatar.'

'And yet you welcomed us when we arrived,' Aang said humbly, 'Even though you knew what was coming.'

Chief Arnook looked at Aang, his craggy, weather-beaten face serious.

'Yes, Avatar: you are the only hope that balance can be restored. And believe me, after a 100 years, that hope had almost gone. So we knew when you came, that we'd have to do whatever it takes to help you. Besides, this Fire Nation attack would have come anyway one day: if the last cities in the Earth Kingdom fall, then they would inevitably turn their attention to us.'

'I will make sure you will not be disappointed to have me on your side, Chief Arnook,' Aang spoke with quiet determination, 'I'll get Appa now.'

'Katara,' Chief Arnook turned to me, 'You should take your position with the warriors on the outer ice wall. That is where you will be needed most.'

'Yes, Chief Arnook.'

My heart swelled with pride at the Chief's quiet acknowledgement of my skills as a warrior, and I ran to take my place on the outermost ramparts of the ice wall. I knew that I was going to do my best to make both Chief Arnook and Master Pakku proud of what they had allowed me to learn, despite the deep-seated prejudices of their tribe.

Aang came up on Appa, and Sokka appeared by my side. The whole wall was lined with determined-looking Water Tribe warriors, some in war paint and some marked for battle by Chief Arnook. Finally, at around noon, a lone Fire Nation ship appeared on the horizon. We all tensed as a tiny fiery speck left its deck and hurtled towards us.

It looked ridiculously tiny and innocuous at that distance, but that impression was swiftly dispelled as it came closer and we saw what a huge fireball it was. It impacted with the outermost wall with a loud, hissing noise, as ice turned to steam, followed by a thunderous sound as the wall cracked and split in all directions.

The second Fireball fell in the canal and the third hit the wall we were standing on sending ice shards and snow in all directions. I was buried under a huge pile of snow, but I could hear the muffled shouts form the other warriors and Appa roaring. Before I could bend it away, I heard Aang goading Appa into the air.

Sokka helped me to my feet and I caught a glimpse of Aang heading out towards the ocean and the on-coming fireballs. He deflected one but the other one struck the wall again. Soon I lost sight of him for I got busy rebuilding the collapsed wall and refreezing it .

Other fireballs were coming our way and I joined the waterbenders in raising great waves of water and ice to neutralise their destructiveness before they could reach the walls or houses. The stench of the burning oil from the fireballs soon hung over the whole outer wall, for although we stopped many of them, encasing their polluting, burning, filth in ice, many more kept appearing. I couldn't see Aang in the distance, but the first Fire Nation ship had a smoking deck and was encased in sharp, jagged ice. Northern Water tribe boats were heading out to sea, where more Fire Nation ships had appeared.

There was no time to see what Aang was doing. I had my hands full trying to fix the damage to the ice walls of the outer ramparts or block the fireballs from getting through our defences. The bombardment slowly but steadily increased, and the acrid fumes of whatever the Fire Nation ammunition is doused in before launching, hung low over walls and city. Many of the Fireballs reached far over the defensive walls and landed within the city precincts, causing havoc to its delicate architecture. Had the city been made of other than ice and snow, it would long ago have been set aflame. Still, the fireballs fell so fast and furious that by late afternoon we realised the outer wall would soon be damaged beyond repair. Some of the waterbenders there were overwhelmed by the sheer number of fireballs coming their way.

Their screams are still ringing in my ears.

Sangok, one of Pakku's better students, was one of them. I saw him go down in a hail of burning black stuff from one of the four fireballs directed at the wall where he stood, all of them arriving simultaneously. He managed to deflect and neutralise three of them but the last knocked him clean off the damaged bastion. He fell, together with part of the ice wall, in a tangle of burning black stuff and fiery detritus, shrieking in pain.

That's when Master Pakku gave the order to retreat to the inner wall. I was closest to Sangok, so I went down to where he had fallen and bended the ice and snow off him.

The smell of burning flesh hit me as soon as I uncovered him. It's a smell that's somehow more pervasive and strong than the foul oils used on the material of the fireball itself. A sickening smell, and one that suddenly, very forcefully and vividly, brought horrifying images to my mind. Our igloo had smelt like that. I had pushed the memory of it to the remotest regions of my mind many years ago, in order to be able to function and keep myself sane.

I couldn't let those memories resurface now. Not now.

Sangok was barely conscious, his face twisted in pain. The back of his head behind his left temple was burnt away, his left arm broken and the skin burnt black. The snow and ice had thankfully extinguished the fire burning his clothes. I gently bended some water around my hands and placed them on his injuries, as Yagoda had taught me, feeling the soothing coolness pass from my hands and onto the hot skin of his head and arm. I hoped it would limit the scarring.

His eyes fluttered open.

'You'll be ok!' I said, smiling reassuringly, as some of the other warriors came up, 'They'll take you somewhere safe.'

'Don't leave me!' Sangok's eyes were glazed and he winced as they lifted him up, so I don't think he knew what he was saying.

'It's ok, Katara. You go with him, and keep the Healing Water on his skin,' one of the other guys said, breathing heavily through his blue mouth gag, 'They're not sending so many fireballs over now, and we can handle them.'

So I accompanied Sangok to Yagoda's infirmary, where Yue was helping with the injured. The smell of burnt flesh was even stronger here.

'Good job, Katara' Yagoda said. 'He'll have some scarring, but I think we may just save his hand and arm functionality, so his waterbending won't be affected.'

Sangok had returned to a sudden lucidity. 'Glad to hear that,' he smiled, wearily 'Master Paku'll be pleased. Perhaps I can convince him I can take on something bigger than a sea sponge! Thanks, Katara'

'I would say you've taken on more than a Sea Sponge today, Sangok.'

Princess Yue was moving about the stricken warriors, a stack of bandages in her hands and a shocked look in her eyes.

'How is it going, Katara?' she asked, 'Yagoda and the other healers have their hands full here, and I'm trying to help in any way I can'.

'The outer wall is in ruins, but other than that... How - how many casualties are there?'

'Thank the Moon and Ocean Spirits, none of the warriors have lost their lives -' she paused, but I continued her sentence in my mind: - _as yet_.

'I think I should get back,' I mumbled. Both Aang and my brother were out there in that raging firestorm, and every second I wasted away from my post weighed heavily on my conscience.

'I'll come a little way with you,' Princess Yue said putting down the bandages, and following me to the door, 'Yagoda needs me, but to see them in so much pain... it's just so _hard._'

She spoke with a quiver in her voice. I put my hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently, because sometimes, there really are no words that one can say to lessen the anguish, and I understood what she was going through.

'Most of them will be fine, Yagoda's an excellent healer,' Yue said, 'But some of the waterbenders are so severely burnt that Yagoda thinks they may not fully recover their skills. Those men have the most desperate look in their eyes...'

'I once saw some earthbenders that had the look you describe, Yue. They had been tortured by their Fire Nation guards. And once, my hands were so badly burnt - I thought I'd end up like that too. That's when I discovered I had healing powers, and healed myself. However, I still remember that horrible feeling – like part of you is lost forever and you can never be the same again...'

We had arrived on a high terrace overlooking the city. The smouldering remains of the fireballs were sending black, snaking trails up into a fiery orange sunset and beyond the broken walls were fire nation ships arraigned in a long, menacing row.

'They've stopped firing!' Princess Yue looked at the distant ships, and our ears rang with the unnatural silence after the many hours of constant barrage and flames. Suddenly, I saw Appa's huge shape silhouetted against the inflamed sky. Aang was back!

'Aang!' I shouted and we ran off to greet him.

Thankfully, Aang was unhurt, but looked dejected. Appa was tired and flumped down as soon as he landed. Aang slid off and sat in a huddle at Appa's feet.

'I can't do it,' he said putting his hands to his head, 'I can't do it.'

'What happened?' I asked, alarmed.

'I must have taken out a dozen Fire Navy ships, but there's just too many of them. I can't fight them all!'

'But, you have to! You're the Avatar!' Princess Yue cried.

'I'm just one kid.'

Aang's voice was barely audible, and had a pleading, desperate note in it. He looked so small and alone as he buried his head in his arms that my heart went out to him. Princess Yue's words made me realise just how much pressure he was under. The people here really believed in him and expected he would make the difference he himself said he would. I knelt down by his side and put a comforting hand on his shoulders.

'If you took out twelve ships, Aang, then ... then... how many are there?' I dreaded to hear the answer, because I knew it would've taken a lot to discourage the young Airbender.

'Over 150,' came the muffled reply, and his shoulders sagged under my hand.

Princess Yue gave a gasp. 'So many?'

'We can only see sixteen of them from here. I never imagined there were so many more...' I glanced up at the distant horizon where the small black dots were lined up.

'Those must be the bombardment ships,' Princess Yue said, squinting at the horizon, 'I heard my father tell the elders that the first wave of ships would weaken our defences, and then the second wave would carry troops for the invasion.'

It was, well and truly, a siege.

'Aang _did_ take out a lot of them,' I said in Aang's defence, 'As I'm sure the warrior ships did. I saw the smoke coming from the first few...'

'I aimed at putting their trebuchets out of order,' Aang said lifting up his head, 'that's their main weapon, and it worked for most of them, but some of those ships carried blasting jelly...'

His eyes sought mine and I was shocked at the haunted look in them.

'It was terrible, Katara,' he whispered, the gray eyes hazy with shock and pain.

I realised it was not just the desperation of facing an immense naval fleet that was bothering Aang: it was the crude realities of war.

'There were bodies everywhere, floating in the sea and on the burning decks... Those ships had no business carrying blasting jelly! Why did they have to carry basting jelly!?' His voice rose angrily in reaction to the painful recollection.

'It's not your fault, Aang.'

'Maybe it was! Maybe I should've found some other way! Maybe I should've -'

'That blasting jelly was meant to destroy my people,' Princess Yue interrupted suddenly, 'It was brought here with the intention of laying the city and the Northern Water Tribe to waste. If the consequences fell upon the perpetrators' own heads, then better that, than on the innocent heads of my people!'

'You're right, Yue, but the monks always taught me to respect all life, and I can't help feeling as though _I'm_ responsible...'

'You didn't _make_ them carry the blasting jelly, Aang,' I said 'You didn't _make_ them hurl fireballs at us for four solid hours! This - this is _war,_ Aang, and you missed the first 100 years of it, but for the rest of us, we've had to live with its consequences, and its presence, all our lives!'

I looked at him sadly, wondering how to explain to a twelve -year old monk who'd been brought up to respect all life, the harsh realities of war that have been part of our bedtime stories since when we were in swaddling clothes! Aang has only seen the consequences of the war for only a few months of his life, whereas we were brought up to them. Even in the only large scale battle we've been in, during the attack on the Northern Air Temple, the Fire Nation Army never got that close to us that we could witness any direct effect. The last devastating explosion that caused most of the casualties and finally set the Fire Nation soldiers fleeing, also blew away a good part of the mountainside, hiding the fatalities from sight. We had left the temple almost immediately afterwards.

'They are Fire Nation soldiers, Aang', I continued, more gently 'They all know what they're on a ship for, and have accepted the risk as well as its injustice! Just as you have accepted to risk your life to help save this Tribe. We all have.'

'Yeah, I guess you're right, Katara. Still, enemy or not, their screams for help sounded very... human. Some were picked up by the other ships, but for others it was too late. You just didn't _see._..' his voice trailed into silence as he was lost in the memory of what must have been a very rude wake-up call as to the grim nature of a battle.

'Come with me, there is something I need you to see,' Princess Yue said.

Aang airbended himself upright and followed her in silence as she led him towards the makeshift hospital. I waited outside in the gathering twilight, knowing full well what lay inside, and not wishing to smell brunt flesh again.

It was not long before they came out, and Aang looked both chastened and sickened.

'I know you have been differently brought up among the legendary Air Nomads,' Yue was saying, 'But in war, the difference between "us" and "them"; between 'victims' and 'enemy' becomes more defined and insurmountable. It is the difference between attack and defence, between a proud freedom and being conquered and enslaved. If what you say is true, and there are a 150 ships out there waiting to invade us, then you may very well be witnessing the end of the Northern Water Tribe. You cannot, as Avatar, let that happen...'

'I'll think of something, Yue' Aang said, unhappily.

'We'll help you, Aang, you know we will,' I said 'But we should all get a rest now, and meet up later. I wanna see if Sokka's ok, if Master Pakku needs anything, and then I'm going home for a bit. There's something I have to do... and I'll see you all here in a while.'

At the warrior's quarters, Master Pakku said the Fire Nation would probably start bombardment again at dawn and look-outs had been posted all along the shoreline. In case of any untoward activity, the gongs will sound. As for Sokka, I didn't get to see him, but one of the other warriors told me he'd been taken off Chief Arnook's mission. This is a bit worrying, though I'm secretly glad he's not on some suicide mission. Finally, in the dark, I headed towards home, knowing there was one last thing I had to do...

When I arrived, I took the scroll and hastily wrote down all of today's happenings. There isn't much space left now in my mother's scroll. I'm trying not to think of it as a bad omen, but with a fleet of ships bent on destroying this land and its people, I can't help but wonder if these are the last words I'm writing in the last few inches of space left in this scroll. When I finish, I will write Gran gran's name on it and where she lives, seal it, freeze it in a block of ice and hide it, so that if something should happen to me, I can hope that someday it may be found .

Aang, who had gone to stable Appa, has just come in and he's seen me writing hastily in the moonlight. He hasn't said anything, but I'm sure he knows it's a form of farewell letter. Many warriors do it before battle, and I guess, in a way, this is one. Only Gran Gran may unlock the scroll's hidden writing, but I'm not going to write any farewells. I still hope we can make it through all this, and if I'm the one who doesn't - well, I think I've said enough in the rest of this scroll for it to have served its purpose.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that I can fill the last few inches of this scroll with the record of a resounding victory over our enemies. With the Avatar on our side it cannot be otherwise.

I only hope I will be the one to record it.


	22. Chapter 22

_A/n: Sorry about the delay and this rather overlong chapter or journal entry. This is the end of events as covered by A:tla Book 1. I will be skipping a week and then starting on events as covered in A:tla Book 2 as from Friday 4 th January 2013. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who read or reviewed. It has been greatly appreciated._

_Everything recognisable belongs to Mike and Bryan._

**Late afternoon, on the 113 th day of our journey and the 30 th at the Northern Water Tribe. Today, against all odds, the Northern Water Tribe city has been saved. This victory could never have been ours had it not been for the Avatar, who together with the Ocean Spirit, destroyed all Admiral Zhao's fleet and saved the day. **

**The Avatar crossed to the Spirit world at the Spiritual Oasis behind the main hall of the city, and there he spoke with the spirits. While he was in the Avatar state, Prince Zuko appeared and kidnapped him, in spite of my efforts to hold him off. My brother, Princess Yue and I searched for him through a raging blizzard, and hours later, we managed to find him just beyond a snow bound cave, trying to escape Zuko's clutches. We rescued him (and, for the record, Prince Zuko too) but his news from the Spirit world was alarming, for he said the Ocean and Moon spirits were in danger.**

**We found out soon enough what he meant, for in the Spirit Oasis, Admiral Zhao had found out about the mortality of the Ocean And Moon spirits embodied in the Koi fish, and had hatched an insane plan of undermining the Northern Water Tribes' strength by destroying the moon spirit, and therefore their ability to waterbend. The moon turned blood red as he captured the white Koi, Tui, and placed it in a bag . Even General Iroh saw the enormity of what he was about to do, and threatened him, but Zhao killed the Fish.**

**The world turned dark, as the pale underside of the fish floated dead in the water, but then Aang entered the Avatar state, speaking in the tongue of all previous avatars as he merged himself with the remaining fish, the Ocean Spirit, La, thus creating a terrible avenging spirit that almost wiped Zhao's fleet from the sea. **

**Back at the Spirit Oasis Princess Yue told us that as an infant the Moon Spirit had given her life, and now she would give it back in order to save her people. This she did, and the white Koi drew life from her hands and struggled back into the world again even as life ebbed from the Princess's body. **

**With that, the Moon shone brightly again on the Northern Water tribe and all the waterbenders regained their power. Zhao, it turned out, from eyewitness accounts, had duelled with Zuko, but had then been destroyed by the Ocean Spirit in revenge. **

**Whatever remained of Zhao's fleet picked up what survivors they could and disappeared. The invading soldiers who didn't make it back to their ships were drowned, and the rest taken prisoners.**

**Of Zuko and General Iroh there's no trace.**

**This is a great victory for the Northern Water Tribe and a great blow to Fire Nation supremacy. However, as always in war, this victory comes at a price. The Northern Water Tribe has lost a great daughter and Princess, even though her spirit lingers on in that of the Moon.**

**This is also the last entry in this scroll, and our journey, very different from what we had planned when we left the South Pole, and which has led us through long and tortuous paths, has finally come to an end. **

It was Aang who came up with it, but we all agreed it was a great idea. We had rested for a while and snatched a couple of hours sleep, then met up with Princess Yue beneath the arched walkway of the main plaza. Yue had been telling us about the first waterbenders and how they had learnt their skill from the Spirit of the Moon and that of the Ocean, who keep the balance as they push and pull the tides, and Aang thought the Spirits might be able to help us face this crisis, so Princess Yue took us to the Spiritual Oasis.

It's a strange, but amazing, place: deep in a rift in the ice cliffs behind the city, a stream falls from the top of the cliff and runs through it, circling a small island that actually has _grass _growing on it. There's also a gateway, and it was so warm I had to take my outer coat off. Exactly in front of the gate was a small pond in which two koi endlessly circled one another. Here, she explained, all spiritual energy is concentrated.

Aang immediately felt the unseen but palpable aura and sat to mediate in front of the pond. He had always entered the Avatar state by accident so far, but I think, instinctively, he knew that the way to cross the bridge to the other world was through meditation.

It took a while (I'm afraid he had to shush us up) but soon his arrows glowed and I knew he had crossed over to the spirit world. Yue was anxious about him, never having seen anything like that before.

'He's my friend. I'm perfectly capable of protecting him,' I said, confident in my new-found skills.

But I spoke too soon. Zuko appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

'Well, aren't you a big girl now?' he sneered.

He was wearing a white suit, blending in with the snow, the fiery red scar in his pale face was the only thing that stood out in the surrounding whiteness.

And his domineering, haughty, arrogance. He must have followed the sound of our voices, but I wasn't going to let him get anywhere near Aang. I heard Princess Yue run off for help. It was me and Zuko now.

We sparred, and it did not take long for him to notice that the 'little peasant', as he called me, had more than a few tricks up her sleeve. I did not even need his insults to goad me - the moon was almost full and the night was not yet over. My bending skills were almost at their peak, and Zuko was no match.

He managed to release himself from the first ice cage I enclosed him in, but not from the second: I slammed him to the walls of the cliff on a huge wave and froze him there high up on the cliff face, trapping his hands so that he couldn't bend. If he wasn't stupid as well as arrogant, he'd use his remaining energy to stay alive in the block of ice.

At one point he had almost grabbed Aang's collar, and from what happened during the few times Aang went into the Spirit world, I know his body must not be moved during this time, for that is his way back to the mortal world.

I stood vigil by Aang's side, anxiously waiting for Yue to arrive with help. Zuko seemed to have had the fight taken out of him, for his head drooped and he seemed tired. In retrospect, I guess he was just conserving his energy to survive in the ice, and gathering his strength for a fresh attack.

Not more than an hour later, with the first signs of an approaching dawn, I was thinking what to do if the bombardment started again, with Aang still out of it and Yue still not back. I did not notice that the first rays of daybreak had reached Zuko. It must have breathed new life into him and he escaped the encasing ice and let loose a blast of fire at me that I barely managed to block. I fell against the wooden gate and everything went black.

I must have hit my head pretty hard, for when I came to I found both Zuko and Aang gone. The cold hand of fear clutched at my heart. Where had Zuko taken Aang? How much time had passed?

I looked up at the sun. It was certainly past daybreak. Momo was chittering restlessly, his great orb-like eyes looking accusingly at me. I had failed Aang! I had failed to protect the one person that mattered most to me… to _everybody_ in this city. And I didn't know what would happen to him now: his body had been moved while he was still in the spirit world. Probably even Aang didn't know. What if he didn't find his way back? The enormity of what had happened bore down on me and I felt my legs tremble beneath me and I sat down heavily near the Koi pond, tears filling my eyes.

Just then I heard the familiar low rumble of Appa, and the great bison landed close by. Princess Yue and Sokka slid off the saddle.

I told them what happened, but I didn't even know how Zuko had got in or out of this sheer-cliffed place, unless it was through the door we had used.

'There's a small ledge in the ice cliff,' Princess Yue said, pointing to a narrow steep shelf in the cliff face. 'he must have come in and out through there.'

'Let's get going, then,' Sokka said, 'Zuko's had a head start. It took Yue some time to find me.'

'I can't believe I lost him,' my voice betrayed both my fear and my guilt.

'You did everything you could and now we need to do everything we can to get him back. Zuko can't have gotten far. We'll find him. Aang's gonna be fine.'

I knew Sokka was trying to comfort me, and he was right. It was time for action. I dried my tears and climbed up on Appa's saddle. n the distance, we heard the first whistling, crackling of fireballs, followed by a dull thud as they impacted with the ice walls of the city.

The bombardment had started, Aang had disappeared, in more ways than one, and things looked pretty grim.

Princess Yue had been right however: there were deep tracks in the snow at the top of the cliff and we followed them eagerly, but we had barely covered a few miles when the sky darkened and snow started falling, covering the tracks. We were flying blind now and the weather worsened, turning into a blizzard. I cursed Zuko for kidnapping Aang, and myself, for allowing him to. If kidnapping him had been bad enough, this was worse! We must have flown blindly at least for another hour, but saw nothing but the vast expanse of white tundra. When we finally _did_ see something that broke the featureless landscape, it wasn't good: an ice sheet covering a rift had been recently broken, its depth preventing the snow from concealing what happened.

I saw Sokka's head turn to look at me. He did not say anything, and I did not want him to. I didn't want to believe they ended up down an ice ravine! It just _couldn't_ end this way!

'They're not gonna die in this blizzard,' Sokka said after a while, 'If we know anything it's that Zuko never gives up. They'll survive – and we'll find them!'

My brother was right. Zuko had followed us doggedly across the world. It would take more than a blizzard to finish him off. We checked the ice ravine carefully and even stopped to have a look inside, but there was no sign of anyone, so we continued our search. Probably we were going round in circles: it's very difficult to know where you're going in a blizzard, However, at around what may have been midday, the weather eased off , the wind died down and eventually, by late afternoon, it had stopped snowing altogether, revealing a clear sky that was just turning into the golden red of sunset.

Although at the back of my mind I knew that the city was in danger, and Princess Yue mentioned it several times, all I could think of was finding Aang. At least now, with the blizzard over, we could see where we were going, so we started flying in widening circles from the back of the cliffs that led to the Spirit Oasis, covering all the ground that Zuko, carrying Aang, could have walked over. Originally, his tracks from the cliff had headed towards the shoreline, but he could easily have been blown off-track by the blizzard.

Night had fallen when I saw the bright light: it arched like a comet, an incandescent-bluish- white across the night sky, brighter even than the full moon that illuminated the sky above us. But it was no falling star. It was the same colour and intensity of Aang's glowing tattoos and it came from the direction of the Spirit Oasis.

It had to be Aang. He had returned to find his body gone and now, perhaps, the spirits were guiding him to the only place he can return to his mortal self: to where his body lay. There could be no other explanation.

We followed the blazing trail, goading Appa to fly faster. And not a moment too soon for we found Zuko restraining Aang, who was alive but tied up.

I got off Appa almost before the bison landed and faced Zuko. I felt as though the spirit of the moon itself was flowing in my body on this particular night: a strong, inexorable tide of energy that swept through my head, my arms, and tingled at my fingertips, craving to be one with the cold, pure, frozen water around me.

But there was something else coursed through my veins: a cold, relentless fury at this young firebender for his cursed stupidity in going off in a blizzard, and his undying, obsessive determination to destroy the Avatar! To destroy _Aang_.

Zuko had come close tonight, but he was about to learn not to mess with Aang again.

He had no chance against the furious icy torrents I unleashed on him. I raised him high on a pillar of ice and then slammed him down hard from that great height, with a vindictive savagery. I had spent all day worrying that Aang might not make it and Zuko felt the brunt of my anger. He lost consciousness, of course, and that is where I would have left him, had Aang not insisted on getting him along too.

So _what _if he died? He wouldn't have thought twice about killing _us_ if it meant he could capture the Avatar!

As it was, I had to endure the ride back to the city with the unconscious and trussed up Zuko as my saddle companion! It was an uncomfortable ride at best, for I was itching to throw him off the saddle for all he had put us through, but Aang's words on the imminent doom of the Moon and Ocean Spirits were more urgent.

'I spoke to this really old spirit called Koh' Aang explained. 'He's a face-stealer – you gotta show no emotion. He told me the Moon and the Ocean Spirits, Tui and La, have taken on mortal form, and they're the Koi fish in the Spirit Oasis!'

'What? What Face-stealer? What fish are you talking about?'Sokka was completely bewildered.

I admit I didn't understand much either, but I knew the fish Aang was talking about.

Aang explained briefly his adventures in the Spirit world, and about this horrific many-legged Koh, who used peoples' stolen faces instead of his own. I felt shivers of dread even as he spoke: how did Aang managed to keep his face emotionless? I don't think _I _would have been able to do that: this Koh sounded seriously creepy!

The thing is, Koh told Aang that it was the spirits who needed his help, and not the other way around.

When the moon suddenly turned red, I knew he was right. Aang felt unwell and the vibrant energy that had been tingling through me only seconds before, disappeared. It wasn't that I was feeling unwell, like Aang and even, surprisingly, like Yue, but there was an emptiness inside me that I couldn't explain.

In the unearthly red glow of the sickening moon above us, Yue explained how as an infant her life had been saved by the Moon spirit and that was why she was named after the moon. I could understand why she was so faint now. The snow had turned fiery red reflecting the blood-red moon.

I knew, without even trying, that my bending had gone. It just was not there anymore – not diminished or distorted - just completely …gone, as though it had never existed.

My sense of foreboding increased as Appa flew closer to the city and we could see tall plumes of black smoke coming not from the two outer walls, but from the inner one. The invading Fire Nation army had landed and from the looks of it, was closing in upon the city itself.

'My waterbending's gone,' I said dully.

Princes Yue gasped, raising her hand to her mouth in horror and glanced towards the city as she realised that all the city's defences were now gone, too. Red flashes of light deepened the scarlet sky as the city was pounded further into submission by the invading soldiers. We all stared in helpless, shocked silence – the defenceless water tribe was being massacred!

A moment later we arrived at the spirit oasis. We could see several figures around the pond where the Koi where. Appa landed silently at the back of the oasis and as we approached, I could hear Momo chittering and Zhao's shouts. He was holding something small that struggled helplessly in a bag he clutched in his hand. Only one Koi was circling the pond, Zhao had caught Tui, the moon spirit!

'Zhao! Don't!' Aang cried, raising his hands in surrender.

'It's my destiny: to destroy the Moon... and the Water Tribe' Zhao growled savagely.

'Destroying the moon won't just hurt the Water Tribe. It will hurt everyone – including you. Without the moon, everything would fall out of balance. You have no idea what kind of chaos that would unleash on the world.'

'He is right, Zhao!' said a voice from near the ice cliff, and a hooded broad figure approached.

'General Iroh, why am I not surprised to discover your treachery?' Zhao sneered as Zuko's uncle lowered his hood and came closer.

Where had he come from? I could only assume he had followed Zhao.

Iroh tried to convince him that even the Fire Nation needed the Moon spirit. At least, this guy appeared wiser than both his nephew and his own Admiral. Of course, Zhao wasn't convinced and didn't move an inch, his clenched fist hovering near the pathetically- struggling bag.

Then General Iroh made me jump: 'Whatever you do to that Spirit, I'll unleash on you ten-fold!' he shouted, assuming a firebending stance 'LET IT GO, NOW!'

There was no mistaking the deadly threat and the sudden authority in his voice. I was surprised: when I had seen him with Zuko, his nephew's temper far overshadowed what I thought was his uncle's more moderate disposition. Now I could feel however, that this man was once used to being obeyed, and obeyed fast .

Zhao also seemed taken aback and for one happy moment, I thought he had given in for he lowered the bag into the pond, and released the white fish. For a split second the moon took on its bright white colour.

Perhaps that is what did it, I don't know, but suddenly a look of mad, uncontrollable rage fleetingly crossed Zhao's face and he struck the water of the pond with fireblast. He had been so quick, none of us reacted on time and yet, we knew what happened immediately, for the blood-red moon died. We were plunged into darkness, mere shadows under the faint starlight. A second later, the darkness was shattered by fireblast after fireblast as General Iroh unleashed a fury of firepower directed at Zhao. I saw then why the 'Dragon of the West' had such a reputation! Zhao couldn't block the relentless fire Iroh directed at him. It was more deadly and powerful than anything I had seen before, even from Zuko! Zhao's guards were taken out with deadly precision, and Zhao just turned tail and fled.

Then General Iroh turned his attention to the fish –it was floating belly-up, pale and white beneath the starlight. It was beyond any healing I was capable of, for I could see it was dead. Iroh lifted it up gently, revealing a huge dark gash in its side: I had lived among fishing and hunting people all my life, yet somehow, the wound in this fish seemed an abomination.

'There's no hope now. It's over!' Princes Yue cried, her voice quivering in despair.

'No, it's not over!' Aang said in a voice that was multi-layered, familiar yet different. I realised his tattoos were glowing again and he stepped into the water of the pond. I was about to follow him, alarmed, when Iroh stopped me. I trusted him a bit more than I did his nephew, so I obeyed.

Then an amazing thing happened: as Aang stood in the middle of the pond, the black Koi, the Ocean Spirit, that had been swimming frantically in search of its companion, stopped and floated in front of Aang, gazing at him steadily. Then suddenly, Aang disappeared inside the pool that turned an incandescent blue-white and the water rose upwards: not like when one is waterbending, but like a live thing: and it flowed fast and furious past the little island and towards the back of the main citadel, purposeful, inexorable, its strong, blue-white glow painting the surrounding blackness the same hue. All four of us gazed open-mouthed at the extraordinary phenomenon.

'I think the Avatar's spirit has merged with that of the Ocean,' Iroh said, as the citadel itself turned from a dull, dark grey to an incandescent ocean-blue color.

'I didn't know Aang could do that!' Sokka said in amazement.

'There are things even he doesn't know he's capable of. Remember Senlin village?' I reminded him.

'The Ocean Spirit is very angry' Iroh remarked, frowning.

The illuminated water rose up into a mountainous wave that was even higher than the topmost part of the citadel itself, and even as we looked, it took the form of a giant koi, with, at its centre, around the place where its heart would be, a glowing white sphere. I could barely make out the small figure of Aang within this strange sphere.

'What'll the Ocean Spirit do to Aang?' I asked worried, turning instinctively to Iroh. This old general seemed to know a lot about the spirit world.

'They are as one now. Their spirits are moving towards the ocean, and I think I know their intent,' he replied grimly, as the huge spirit creature raised its watery arms in exact replica of what Aang was doing within the glowing sphere at its heart. It brought them down in a heavy, sweeping motion and I knew that the Fire Nation troops and war machines that had invaded the city were being swept away and destroyed. The Ocean Spirit was directing its vengeful fury on the Moon's killers.

General Iroh bent down then and placed the Koi gently into the water, as though doing so would bring it alive again.

'It's too late. It's dead,' I told him, but I realised he was looking at Yue with an expression of wonder on his face. Somehow Iroh knew Yue had been touched by the Moon Spirit. Perhaps because her white hair and blue eyes were the only things that shone brightly in the drab, grey tones of our surroundings.

'It gave me life,' she said softly 'Maybe I can give it back.'

My heart skipped a beat. Did she mean what I thought she meant? Apparently yes, for Sokka was distraught:

'I won't let you! Your father told me to protect you!'

But I could see that Yue was determined. It was her duty, she said. Her voice was gentle, though sad, yet beneath that deceptive gentleness there ran a vein of pure willpower. Iroh lifted the dead fish out of the water and, kneeling, held up the pale dead body to Yue, as one would an offering to the spirits.

Only this was a sacrifice.

I could not breathe nor move as I looked at the scene unfolding before my eyes.

Yue placed her hands on the dead Moon spirit and it began to glow. Even as I gazed, Yue's eyes closed, she gave a last sighing breath and fell back in Sokka's arms. Sokka hugged her body to him in despair, his hands gently on her cheeks.

'She's gone!' he cried, his voice cracking.

I understood then. I understood what Yue had meant to my brother. This was no passing fancy. My eyes blurred with tears as I saw him hunched over her body, cradling her tenderly, trying not to cry. I had never seen him this way before.

I also finally understood how, beneath Yue's gentle manners and her somewhat quiet and submissive nature, she had a warrior's heart, too. She died to save her people, like my mother had died to save me…

This also threw a light on why she had wanted to stay away from Sokka even when it was so evident that she liked him. Her duty to her people came above her own personal happiness. Perhaps I had misjudged her, thinking she ought to rebel against stupid traditions.

Perhaps I, too, should strive to follow her example and not allow my own selfish desires to override the collective good of my tribe …

In the distance, I could see the Ocean Spirit out at sea, facing Zhao's invading fleet. The sea around the ships was heaving and writhing, moving like a live thing.

Sokka's gasp of surprise brought my attention back to the oasis. Yue's body glowed briefly and then disappeared. Simultaneously, the Koi in Iroh's hand did the same. He placed it in the water and it started swimming around like it had never left the water, the deep red burn on its body healed completely.

Then Yue's spirit appeared, pale and white and other-worldly.

' Goodbye, Sokka. I will always be with you,' she said, her voice echoing as though from a great distance.

She kissed him and then her spirit faded away to be replaced by the moon: not the unnatural red, or the dead grey of earlier , but shining triumphantly white and bright, a beautiful, full orb that illuminated the spirit oasis with a myriad subtle shades of blue and white, the darkness coming alive with moonlight. My heart and soul filled with the strength radiating from its pale presence and I could feel the energy flow once more along the chi pathways of my body, connecting me to the world of water and ice around me.

In the distance, I could see the ocean and the Ocean Spirit. It seemed to be dwindling in size. It was too far to see Aang, except as the brightly shining 'heart' in the Spirit's body.

Sokka was left at the edge of the pond, looking up at the moon. He looked helpless and lost. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently – I did not know what to say.

Yes, Yue, as the moon, would always be with him, but it was not the same thing, was it?

'I have to be going now,' a gravelly voice interrupted my musings. Iroh stood up and looked towards where Appa was lying down 'I believe I saw my nephew trussed up on the Bison's saddle.'

He moved towards Appa and peered into the saddle. I jumped up to stop him.

'Zuko kidnapped Aang!' I said harshly, remembering that after all, this was _General Iroh, _the Firelord's brother and our mortal enemy, almost as much as Zuko was. 'They almost both died in that blizzard this morning! I can't let you –!'

'Well, I think my nephew has taken matters into his own hands once more,' Iroh interrupted. He held up a piece of rope.

'That rope isn't such good quality then!' Sokka remarked, scowling on hearing Zuko's name.

General Iroh sighed. 'Well, I think I had better find him now,' he muttered, ignoring Sokka and moving towards the wooden door that led to the city,

Sokka and I exchanged looks, but neither of us moved, and let General Iroh pass, in silent agreement that he had, after all, tried to save the Moon Spirit. I hoped we would not regret it.

'We should go too, Sokka.'

'Yeah, I guess so. Hey, look – ' he pointed at the pond which had glowed white once more .Within , circling joyfully around the white Koi the Black Koi had appeared. The Ocean spirit had rejoined the Moon Spirit and that meant...

'Aang!' we both shouted simultaneously, looking at each other.

We ran towards Appa and climbed aboard, Momo chittering excitedly.

Sokka took the reins: 'Yip Yip!' he cried and the bison swung his great tail and we rose into the air.

It was a devastating scene. I knew it would be bad, but this was terrible. While we were away, both outer and inner walls had been breached and lay in ruined, jagged ice blocks, some still with grappling hooks attached. Broken spiked tanks were everywhere: some destroyed by the waterbenders, others could be seen as dark shadows, black oils and ashes polluting the canal waters. The inner city wall had been broken too and many buildings were in ruins, their beautiful, delicate architecture laid to waste by the black remains of the fireballs.

The worst were the bodies however.

They choked the canals, floating like dead fish in the water or strewn along the banks, the dark red of the Fire Nation Uniform contrasting sharply with the bright blue of the dead water tribe warriors beneath the bright moonlight. The former were bloodied, ice shards still penetrating their bodies, the latter were burnt and bloodied, but death had come alike to both.

Further out of the city, most of the dead were Fire Nation soldiers. Foot soldiers and armoured tanks lay in a frozen, messy jumble between the outer wall and the second wall. Some war rhinos were bellowing in pain, wounded; others stood, broken-spirited, in a huddle, their heavy breath misting the night air. These animals were not adapted to the cold.

Some of the broken bodies beneath us, mechanical as well as human, seemed to have died while running away. They had never made their escape. And I knew what they had been fleeing from. They had been fleeing from the wrath of the Ocean Spirit : no-one could've escaped that.

It was just that there were so, so _many _of them! In retrospect I shouldn't have been surprised: 150 ships can carry a lot of troops. But I had never seen so many dead in one place. I had heard the stories of Fire Nation massacres and bloody battles of course, but it was another thing to actually stand in the middle of it.

'Let's head out to the sea,' Sokka said, 'that's where the Ocean Spirit last stood before it disappeared.'

He turned Appa round and we headed for the ruins of the outermost wall, just as the first pale glow on the horizon announced the coming daybreak. At this close distance, I could see that the sea outside the outer wall was littered with the debris of a broken fleet. Several bowsprits pointed skywards, their once-menacing black snouts rendered pathetically harmless, and there were several floating hulks of what were once proud ships… and a lot of flotsam and jetsam that I didn't want to look too closely at: whether they were bodies, or evidence of the life destroyed within the metal hulks, I did not know: perhaps the men had gone down and drowned with the sinking ships; perhaps they had swum to safety, or been picked up by any remaining floating vessel... At that moment, all I wanted was to find Aang. He had to be here somewhere. The Ocean Spirit would not have harmed the Avatar.

I saw him then, a tiny, lone figure standing in the distance on the crumbling outer wall, looking out to sea. The first rays of the sun brightened the yellow and russet of his clothes, and softened even the harsh lines of the sunken ships and the jagged, protective icebergs.

Momo launched himself into the air, flying excitedly towards him and Appa gave a low rumble.

Aang looked round.

'Aang!' I shouted in relief, waving.

We flew up and Appa hovered near the broken wall to let him climb on. He had an odd closed expression on his face, and looked weary and tired.

'Hi guys,' he said, airbending himself lightly onto the saddle near me, 'What happened? The Moon spirit is back.'

He pointed at the now fading, but still bright, orb in the sky.

I glanced at Sokka, but my brother just stiffened, tightening his hold on Appa's reins.

'Yue sacrificed her life to bring back the Moon Spirit,' I explained, 'She saved not just the Northern Water Tribe, but the whole world today.'

'That's when the Ocean Spirit left me here. They're in balance now,' Aang said in awe, 'Yue's amazing'.

I saw him look sympathetically in Sokka's direction, and then turn questioningly towards me. I think he saw enough in my expression to realise how bad Sokka felt. My brother sensed the silent exchange, even though he sat with his back to us.

'Yue's the Moon Spirit, now,' he growled defensively, yet with a hopeless note in his voice.

'She sure is, Sokka,' Aang said quietly, glancing up at the paling moon, but then something else caught his eyes, and the closed expression settled once more over his features.

We were passing over the waste ground between the outer wall and the secondary wall, where the wrath of the Ocean Spirit had left a trail of destruction on top of that caused by the battle between the retreating waterbenders and invading forces.

'It's even worse than what's out at sea!' Aang murmured, in a voice so low I hardly heard him. The closed look on his face had changed to one of outright distress.

Sokka turned round at his comment, his hard expression indicating that he did NOT feel sorry for the Fire Nation. I could understand why, but I hoped he would not say anything, for Aang looked very troubled.

I peered over Appa's saddle at the devastation below. I have hated the Fire Nation with a vengeance ever since their raids changed my life forever, and in my travels over these last months I've seen very little – with the possible exception of our rather surreal visit to the Fire Festival of a Fire Nation village - to mitigate my complete distrust and aversion of these people. In fact, quite the other way round, for I've seen even more of their atrocities on my travels.

However, during those few brief moments after our victory, as I leaned over the edge of the saddle with Aang, the sight of those broken bodies, _hundreds_ of them, and the crawling, abject, humiliation of the few Fire Nation survivors, reminded me that beneath the red and black uniform, the pain was the same as anyone else's. I think it called out to the Healer in me, or perhaps because I felt that no human form should be reduced to such an undignified, shuddering wreck, and I found myself feeling sorry for all those warriors, irrespective of their uniform.

Perhaps it was because Aang was sitting next to me with a stricken look on his face. If yesterday was bad, the aftermath of the invasion was infinitely worse.

'I can't believe I did all this...' Aang whispered, a haunted look in his eyes.

'Don't you remember?'

He was _there,_ right in the middle of it.

'Yes, yes, of course, but….' he paused, with a confused look 'I don't know. It didn't feel like _I _was doing it. It felt like somebody else there, doing things I wouldn't've done…'

'You were one with the Ocean Spirit. You were directing its wrath.'

'And mine too. Or at least, I think it was mine. I dunno. Disembodied anger feels weird. Am I explaining myself?'

'Uh… you were in the Avatar state then. Perhaps that had something to do with it.'

'Perhaps.'

'Don't you have any control at all, when you enter the Avatar state?'

Aang shrugged. 'I know what I'm _doing_, and what I'm capable of doing, 'cos it's like I've done it all before, but the _will_ to do it isn't entirely mine. Still, I wish…' his voice trailed off into silence as we passed the last wall and came over the broken city, the once clear, blue canals polluted with the ugly debris of war.

'What?'

'I wish I hadn't. Look at all this, Katara!' he gestured angrily at the blackened ruins and the sad remains 'Have I killed all these people? Has the Ocean Spirit? Or in some weird way, my past lives? I'm never gonna know, am I?' his voice rose angrily, 'I know that the Fire Nation had to be stopped, and we will probably face them again, and again and again – maybe with the same results, but it's just kinda hard for an Airbender monk to believe I'm somehow responsible for all this destruction, even if everyone else agrees that they _did_ deserve it!'

I stared at him in silence and Sokka had turned to look at him with the same hard expression in his face.

'Aang, you saved an entire city… an entire culture,' I started.

'But it wasn't _me, _was it? It was the _Avatar._ And sometimes, I just don't know where one stops and the other one starts!'

I stared at him in silence for a second. Then:

'You had no choice, Aang. None of us did'

'You two can go and pick up the pieces of whatever Fire Nation soldiers are left and cry over them,' Sokka interrupted harshly, as he set Appa down in the main terrace before the great temple, 'I'm going to look for Chief Arnook... Someone has to tell him.'

'I'm sorry, Sokka,' Aang said, as a look of shocked realisation crossed his features.

'Yue knew her duty. She didn't let selfish desires veer her from her path' Sokka said, in a strained voice.

Then he squared his shoulders and moved slowly to where Chief Arnook was talking to Master Pakku.

Aang followed him with his eyes, his face white and drawn. There were small groups of Tribal elders standing in small knots in the great square looking out sombrely at their broken city. When they saw us they came slowly towards us, their faces alight with gratitude.

'Avatar, you saved our Tribe,' one old man quavered, with tears in his eyes, 'We are eternally grateful.'

'Yes, we all are,' said a dignified middle-aged man in wolf war-paint 'Our families, our waterbenders, the warriors... none would have been left alive had the invasion succeeded. We owe you more than our lives.'

I could see Aang looked marginally more cheerful at this, but his eyes were drawn to the dark, lifeless specks dotting the bridges, walkways and ruined walls of the city beneath us. Mine were drawn instead to Chief Arnook, whose hands covered his face as Sokka, with bowed head, uttered the dreaded words.

'…the injured and sick right away,' Aang was saying.

'We hadn't considered prisoners,' a Tribal Elder was saying.

'It is my wish,' Aang replied simply, yet with enough emphasis to let them see he meant it. Master Pakku, who had come up with the other elders was looking at Aang with something akin to surprise. Pakku was not really used to seeing Aang's serious side.

Keyush, for that was his name, glanced over at Chief Arnook. One look at his stricken face and he squared his shoulders as though coming to a decision.

'It will be as you wish, Avatar,' he said. 'I will gather all able-bodied warriors and we'll pick all survivors. Even Fire Nation soldiers will be treated by our healers. Master Pakku, perhaps you can take a small team of waterbenders to fortify the outer walls where they're in danger of collapsing, the women can start on the city buildings, after the injured are treated.'

Master Pakku nodded in agreement, and turned to leave. Before he did, to my surprise, he bowed respectfully to Aang. I could see that Aang was taken aback, but he solemnly returned the salute. Soon the great square in front of the city citadel cleared as everyone worked to stem the damage done. It would be a long day, and a bittersweet one: in spite of the devastation, I knew that it could have been infinitely worse.

Finally, only Chief Arnook and Sokka were left. Chief Arnook came up to us and spoke gravely to Aang, thanking him for saving the city:

'My daughter's sacrifice would not have been the same, had the city fallen,' he said, 'Thank you, Avatar.'

Aang looked at him, his large, gray eyes betraying his troubled spirit, but at that moment, Master Pakku reappeared again at my side, telling me he'd sent Akiak to round up the waterbenders.

'I'll help,' I said.

'At this particular time, I think you will be needed more as a Healer than as a wall-builder,' he said, 'I don't mean it disrespectfully…' he added.

I smiled. 'I know, Master Pakku.' I had got to understand the ways of the dour old man very well over the past weeks. 'I'll go and give Yagoda a hand.'

'There's something I want to tell you, Katara' he said with an odd look. 'It's something I have been thinking about ever since…well, ever since the day you duelled me.'

'What's that, Master Pakku?'

'I've decided to go to the South Pole. Some other benders and healers want to join me. It's time we helped rebuild our sister tribe.'

It was wonderful news. In fact, it was something that I had been secretly dreaming of doing myself one day, somehow. I had never actually thought much about how or when, but I had always dreamed that I could somehow help restore the Southern water tribe to the great place it once was. But there was something even more important than rebuilding the Southern Water Tribe:

'What about Aang? He still needs to learn waterbending,' I said.

We turned to look at where the distant figure of Aang, who stood alone at the edge of the square in front of the Palace, looking out at the ruined city with Momo at his feet.

'Well, then he better get used to calling you "Master Katara."' Pakku's replied seriously.

I felt my breath hitch and my eyes lighted up as his meaning sank in.

And thus it was, with a few simple words from my Master in the middle of a ruined but still unbeaten city, I had finally achieved what I had set off to do so many months ago: I had mastered waterbending, and my training was now at an end. Not only that, but Pakku was tacitly telling me that I was good enough to teach the Avatar...

The Avatar...

I glanced back at Aang. Chief Arnook was taking his leave of Sokka on the other side of the square. Pakku moved to join his Chief.

'Go to him,' Pakku said before he left me, nodding towards the small, desolate figure of Aang, 'he'll need a friend, as well as a Waterbending Master.' And with that he turned and walked towards Chief Arnook.

I made my way silently towards Aang. He had his back to me, but I could tell by the slight stoop to his shoulders and a certain stillness about him, what he was thinking as he looked over the broken city and the wasted humanity in its canals. He thought it all his fault, yet earlier he had spoken as though 'the Avatar' and 'Aang', were somehow not one and the same thing. I wished I could tell him everything will be fine, I wished I could explain to him – I wished I could tell him why all this loss had to happen – but I knew I did not have all the answers/ Any platitudes would be empty and trite and Aang would recognise the lie immediately.

But I could feel his pain and confusion and I would have given anything to be able to ease his troubled mind. He must have sensed my presence then, because he turned round and saw me standing there. But even _I_ hadn't expected what I saw in his eyes: confusion - yes; pain - even more; but within those gray, eloquent depths there was also a silent plea for forgiveness.

My heart gave a painful wrench. He couldn't understand that there was nothing to forgive, but a lot to thank him for. Because he was _Aang,_ the last of the Airbenders: he could see this no other way. We stood for a moment looking at each other in silence, and I think he found in my eyes what he was asking for, because a second later, we moved towards each other and I felt his arms around me, trembling slightly. I hugged him back fiercely, hoping to make him understand that he was everything to me – to all the world – but, yes, to me most of all, because I can't imagine leaving his side now, _ever_. In those few seconds of silent embrace I think he found solace and finally accepted that he had nothing to be ashamed of, and that with us by his side, he'd find a way to stop this senseless war once and for all.

Momo chittered just then, his large, orb-like eyes looking at us in wonder. It was just as well, for I was getting quite choked up and part of me did not want to let Aang go, so I broke away, calling the lemur to us. He settled on Aang's arm, chittering softly as I tickled his chin. Sokka came over and put his hand on Aang's shoulder, even as the large pale orb of the full moon finally faded in the light if the approaching day. It was Sokka's way of assuring Aang he was there for him, too.

I don't know how long we stood there, my brother and I, on either side of Aang, mesmerised by the light of the fading moon – a moon we knew would come again in answer to the push and pull of the ocean. A moon saved by Yue's sacrifice, to shine once more upon the water tribe's city of ice, just as the city itself was saved by the Avatar.

Appa flew up then and we climbed aboard, for we knew we couldn't be idle even when the battle was over.

The bison flew down to Yagoda's makeshift hospital (her old teaching rooms were not big enough) and dropped me off there, while Sokka and Aang went looking of survivors out at sea. Part of the fleet and some crippled Fire Nation ships had managed to escape, limping away from the North Pole as fast as they could hobble. They were nothing but tiny specks barely visible in the distant horizon.

I did all I could to help Yagoda. True to his word, Chief Arnook and Keyush placed all Fire Nation prisoners in a separate room and saw to it that they got treatment for their wounds. I couldn't bring myself to join Yagoda and some other, rather tight-lipped healers, who went, looking rather strained, into the prisoners' infirmary rooms.

I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet.

I saw Aang and Sokka a couple more times throughout the day as they brought in more wounded, but by noon everyone had been rounded up, most of the injured had been settled and had their worse burns and wounds treated.

Early afternoon, Chief Arnook himself sent Sokka to tell Aang and I that we should get some rest, for we had done enough, and there would be more that needed doing tomorrow. I was secretly glad we had been practically _ordered_ to bed, for after almost two sleepless nights, I was exhausted. Sokka looked tired too. We found Aang in the Buffulo Yak stables, trying to bed down a group of bewildered, but lethargic, War Rhinos. I think if they hadn't been so lethargic because of the cold, they would have given Aang a much harder time.

We finally persuaded him to come away, and now all three of us are back at the house, with dark circles under our eyes, and too tired to eat the food Chief Arnook, in spite of all he has to do and face now, thought to have sent up to our dwelling.

Sokka took a long time to sleep, for he kept glancing at the setting sun, eager to see it give way to the night and the presence of a waning moon. Eventually, he fell into a restless sleep, followed, sometime later, by Aang.

I, however, still cannot sleep.

I'm dead tired, my eyes feel as heavy as lead, yet the events of these past days keep tumbling over and over in my head, so finally I decided to fill in the last space remaining in my mother's scroll, a task I was afraid I would not be able to complete. Looking at what I wrote the night before last – (was it only that recent? It feels like ages ago) – I was afraid it would not be me who would write an ending to this scroll.

I'm happy it is. I have come a long way from when I first started writing my worries and hopes and fears in it, before the start of winter and on the other side of the world. Some of those worries seem so insignificant now, compared to the task that lies ahead. We've come through a lot, and have, once again, tasted the bitterness of war – on a grand scale. And although this time the losses incurred have been mitigated by victory, yet none of us have come through unscathed. Sokka has lost Yue, and Aang, I think, his innocence in war. He has seen that both in attack and in defence, both directly and indirectly, blood is shed, whether it is sacrificed willingly or spilt from innocent veins. And it is hard to remain untainted by war, even if it is not your hand directly that spills that blood.

He is sleeping now, his face smooth and peaceful under the moonlight, and even Sokka's restless tossing has quietened down under Yue's soft glow.

The ink on the scroll is gleaming brightly in the moonlight and I know Yue is reading my words. I don't mind: I have set her story in this scroll using Spirit Ink that I now know Gran Gran must have brought from here, her childhood home, when she was only a young girl called Kanna.

Yagoda told me that.

I saw her writing the names of the dead in a large, ceremonial scroll. She did not use a quill but a thin brush made of whalebone and soft buffalo yak bristle. The delicately-carved ink bottle she dipped her brush in contained, seemingly, only water. The warriors' names gleamed briefly on the parchment and then were gone, just like their own spirits had departed this world. Yagoda _was writing in water_!

'It is the Scroll of the Dead Warriors,' she said, seeing me observe her, 'We write the names of the fallen in this and then the Chief will read them aloud under the moonlight when their bodies are sent on their last journey.'

'What is that ink made of? Gran Gran gave me a phial of it. It lasts a long time.'

'I should think Kanna would have some. She used to help me write the Ceremonial Scrolls when a warrior died - her calligraphy was always better than mine. I'm more of a healer, but Kanna was interested in books and learning way beyond what a woman needs to know.'

Yagoda's old face wrinkled into a tired smile, 'I used to hope she'd write to me with this ink after she ran away, Katara. None but our tribe know its secret. This ink is made from a secret recipe using, among other things, Spirit Water from the oasis.'

'I thought so somehow – it all fits: the moonlight, the glowing letters...'

'In the old days, before the Northern Water tribe became so isolated because of this cursed war, Northern Water Tribe warriors setting out on long sea voyages would communicate with us, or between themselves, using this special invisible ink. Nowadays, its only function is ceremonial...' she glanced sadly at the strong, but lifeless, bodies of several warriors on pallets in the makeshift infirmary, '... as you will see very soon, when we prepare the funeral rites.'

I am dreading tomorrow for the dead will have to be lain to rest and their spirits released. It will be a sad day, but the Scroll of the Dead Warriors will record their brave sacrifice, and their bodies, charred and broken as they are, will bear witness to their courageous acts.

For Princess Yue there is no body to lay to rest, but as my pen moves slowly down the parchment, the gleaming letters are a-fire with her light. I know no-one will forget the Northern Water Tribe's gentle daughter and brave protector. I hope these words, written in my mother's scroll, will pay tribute to her as well as to the many, many others who have helped and left their marks on our hearts during our adventures.

The scroll is now finished. May these words, written in water, be testimony to the journey of Aang, the Avatar, and last airbender; Sokka, Chief Hakoda's son and warrior; and I, Katara, the Southern Water Tribe's last waterbender.

I dedicate this to the memory of my mother, Kya, whose scroll was never written by her own hand, but by that of her daughter.


	23. chapt23 WRITING IN WATER: THE EARTH BOOK

**WRITING IN WATER:THE EARTH BOOK**

_**Katara, Master Waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe.**_

**123 rd day of our journey and the 40****th**** at the Northern Water Tribe. The past days have been spent in helping to rebuild the city, and caring for the wounded and injured. Slowly, the city is looking much the same as it did when we first came here, but the scars of war are still seen and felt by its inhabitants.**

**In the meantime, preparations are under way for Master Pakku and a group from the Northern Water Tribe people to travel to the South Pole, where they will help rebuild our tribe. We will be travelling with them for part of the way.**

It was Aang who found it, a few days after the siege was over. This strange, leather-bound book - so small that it almost fits in the palm of one hand. Its pages are blank, made from a waxy kind of waterproof paper that sailors use. There was no name on it, just the squat little symbol that represents Earth on the first page. Perhaps the mark of an Earth Kingdom book-binder or something. I turned it over in my hands, liking the feel of smooth, worn leather and the ivory-colored blank pages. Though small, it was very thick.

'I thought you might like it,' Aang said, watching me with a bemused expression, 'You always look so relaxed and absorbed when you're writing.'

'What? Oh, I - I just –'

'I know,' he interrupted quickly – too quickly, 'You're just writing a simple journal, but still – I noticed your scroll finished, and you gave it to Pakku.'

'I told him to give it to Gran Gran when they get to the South Pole. She'll keep it safe for me.'

When Siege was over, I had retrieved the scroll from where I had hidden it, and sealed it with instructions that it wasn't to be opened unless I did not survive this war. If that had to happen, Gran Gran will know which parts would need to be kept from prying eyes, and which parts would serve to tell the Avatar's tale.

Said Avatar was looking at me rather curiously. Of course, Aang knew it was more than just a simple journal (though he must be mystified, if he's ever caught a glimpse of the writing in that scroll, as to why the entries seem written so far apart). No-one knows about the hidden words.

'The scroll was more of a diary,' I admitted, flushing slightly. (If only Aang knew the stuff I'd written …) 'But nothing that would interest you –' I went even redder. 'Just girl's stuff, you know, but it's kinda private, or Sokka would tease no end...'

'Yeah, no problem. Girl's stuff, huh? 'Course I'm not interested…' Aang replied, with a don't-care look that seemed just a bit too overdone to be convincing.

'Where d'you get it from, anyway?' I asked, holding up the little brown book and eager to steer the conversation away from the topic of the scroll, before Aang could ask how and where I'd managed to hide all that 'girl's stuff'.

'I found it washed up on the ice of the ruins of the outer wall.'

'D'you think it's Fire Nation?'

In spite of the earth symbol, it could still have been commissioned for some Fire Nation Officer, and I didn't want anything that could be deemed 'spoils of war'.

'There's no name or anything. There were Water Tribe ships out there, too. It could easily be Water Tribe as Fire Nation, but I asked everybody – even the prisoners, and no-one said they'd seen anything like it. So - will you take it?'

'Sure. Thanks, Aang.' I said, reverently opening the mysterious little book, 'I think I'll start writing a journal again.'

'Only a journal?' he asked, with a mischievous grin.

'I thought you weren't interested,' I retorted acerbically, shooing him away as I prepared the evening meal.

Those early days after the end of the siege, there was so much to do that we'd arrive home late in the evening, tired and exhausted. I spent my days mostly in Yagoda's Infirmary where I was most needed, getting a very hands-on experience in healing. In fact, I think that in those few, sad, pain-filled days I learnt far more about the healing arts than I would have learnt after months of training. Experience is a great teacher. I gradually became more confident in my skills and found I could handle almost any emergency.

I even helped with the wounded Fire Nation prisoners .

That was one of the weirdest things. Bleeding and hurt, deprived of their helmet and uniform, the Fire Nation soldiers looked... well, _different._ Some, mainly officers, gazed stonily ahead as we healed them, the resentment in their eyes unmistakeable: these we treated because Aang had specifically asked us to, and for no other reason, but there were others, simple soldiers, who smiled their gratitude and relief when their wounds were healed, and thanked us. They spoke of their families, their children, their hopes and their fears...

I still can't get my head around how weird it felt. I suppose, being raised to hate and fear the faceless men behind that iron helmet, I had never conceived them as having any humanity. Over the days, however, and in spite of myself, I started to see _people_, rather than unknown faces behind an enemy's uniform.

Yagoda said that, as a Healer, this is a good thing.

I'm not so sure.

Anyway, about the little earth book ... it's been many days since Aang first gave it to me, and I'm only writing in it now. I just wanted to see if the books' waterproof pages would absorb the special ink ( Yagoda had replenished my supplies). I marked the page with my name and newly acquired status, and the quill moved even more smoothly on the waxy surface than it did on parchment, and both visible and invisible ink marked the pages well, though they take longer to dry.

It _is_ strange, (but perhaps a bit more convenient), to just turn a page rather than unfold a scroll. I'm still getting used to it, for apart from writing my name ( it felt so good to write 'master'!) I haven't had time to do anything in these last 10 days for we've been helping the city get back on its feet again.

Its' the least we can do since, I suppose, it was our presence here that drew the Fire Nation to lay siege to the city in the first place.

As I already said, the early days are a tired blur in my memory, but some things stick out - like the funerals.

The dead Fire Nation soldiers were placed in one of the Water Tribe ships and the planks soaked with enough oil to burn well. Chief Arnook set a torch to it, and then the ship was pushed seawards under the slanting light of a late winter sun.

The inhabitants of the city watched in grim silence as flames rose higher, reflected in red perfection on the glassy-smooth surface of the ocean. The currents carried the blazing ship further and further away until it was just a twinkling orange glow in the distance. There were no tears, but neither were there any cheers as the ship with its sorry cargo burnt brightly in the Fire Nation fashion of disposing of the dead.

Every man, woman and child that lined the hastily-repaired city walls stood perfectly still, gazing seaward. I wished I knew what each and every one of those hundreds of pairs of eyes were thinking as they followed the receding death-ship. Vengeful satisfaction? A twinge of sorrow? Relief?

Perhaps, like me, a bit of all that.

We only moved when the orange light disappeared behind a distant iceberg. It was like a spell was broken and everyone started talking and moving about their tasks. It seemed like the pall of the enemy's shadow had been lifted from this land. I breathed a silent prayer to the Spirits to let those soldiers' souls pass unharmed to the other world. It was all over for them. They had suffered and died far from their homeland and everyone wanted their ghosts to find what rest they could, and never haunt this tribe again.

In the distance, beyond the wall I could see the broken carcasses of many Fire Nation vessels. They will, one day, instil a superstitious fear in young Northern Water Tribe children, whose minds will be full of their elders' tales of the Siege of the North. Just as we did, as children, back in the South Pole, when we used to look in fear at the black blot of a Fire Nation ship on our white landscape, a remnant of past raids.

The very next day, we lay the Water Tribe warriors to eternal rest under the pale light of a waning moon, as is the custom among the water tribe. The dead warriors were also placed on a water tribe ship, dressed in their battle clothes, and Chief Arnook read aloud from the _Scroll of the Dead Warriors_, holding it unfurled high in front of him, so that all could see the letters of each name illuminated into a white incandescence by the moon. Sokka, Aang and I stood behind him, with Pakku and some other tribal dignitaries, as his deep voice intoned the tribal name and grade of each warrior, unfurling the Scroll as he read.

There seemed to be no end to the scroll as he unfurled and unfurled the dead, moon-bright names.

But unlike the funeral of the Fire Nation dead, there were low sounds of sorrow that came from the gathered tribe: a sob, a sigh, soft words of lament, as each loved name was called forth, resounding and echoing off the ice cliffs .

I felt a wrench in my heart as I saw the grieving families, though I tried not to cry. From the corner of my eye, I saw Aang hang his head, and Sokka, on my other side, was staring, eyes glazed and fixed, at the Scroll of Dead Warriors.

Chief Arnook's voice finally fell silent.

I thought he was going to put the scroll away, but instead, he unfurled it one last bit, revealing one single name, brighter than the rest, at the end of the list.

'Princess Yue' he cried in a voice that was somehow strong and steady, 'Daughter of I, Chief Arnook of the Northern Water Tribe, and Massak, my wife. May your spirit, my daughter, shine always upon us, even though your mortal self is not here with us.'

His voice shook only a little as he uttered her name, last and greatest of the Northern Water Tribe warriors. I felt a lump in my throat as the father bid his child farewell: it seemed to me that Yue's light shined brighter on the scene, and beside me I could hear Sokka draw a shaky breath. I did not look at him – he thinks it's weakness for a warrior to cry.

Then Chief Arnook went down to the water's edge and pushed the boat out to sea. The tribe's waterbenders, in ceremonial clothes, moved in unison to create currents that would send the boat far out into the ocean. It had been scuttled in a way that would sink her some miles out to sea, thus consigning the dead warriors to the Ocean Spirit, as is the tribal custom.

It was a long time later that we headed back to our house.

None of us spoke.

**126 th day of our journey and the last in the Northern Water Tribe city. The mariners have said that the winds have turned, so that they will favour our journey south around the Earth Kingdom's northern coastline. Master Pakku has told us we leave tomorrow. The city is back on its feet again and pride in its victory over the Fire Nation is now outweighing the sorrow of the earlier days. The canals and buildings have been, for the most part, repaired and cleaned. The black soot no longer pollutes its pristine whiteness and the Fire Nation prisoners have been taken to the Earth Kingdom. There, it is hoped they will be exchanged for Earth Kingdom prisoners currently in Fire Nation jails.**

**Our ship is ready to set sail and we will accompany Master Pakku on part of his journey to the South Pole. We will leave the ship on Appa near the North-western coast and head for an Earth Kingdom military fortress, where an escort will accompany us to Omashu. There, the Avatar will resume training to learn earthbending from King Bumi himself.**

Tonight is the last night in the Northern Water Tribe. We were invited for a last ceremonial meal in Chief Arnook's palace, after which we headed straight for our beds, for tomorrow we leave early, at dawn.

Sokka wouldn't sleep immediately – I think leaving Yue's birthplace, as well as these familiar surroundings, upset him a bit – but he's snoring peacefully now. Aang fell asleep almost immediately, though he keeps tossing and turning restlessly. As for me, I couldn't sleep, so I'm once again writing in this rather unfamiliar, but robust little diary. I, too, will miss this familiar blue and white land of water and snow, but what had me in a dither all afternoon is something that happened earlier today.

We were packing our stuff before going to Chief Arnook's farewell feast and talking excitedly about our route through the Earth Kingdom, when Sokka said something that made me stop what I was doing.

'We're hugging the Earth Kingdom's North-western coastline at first' Sokka said, looking at our old map before packing it up, 'Then we'll head out to the open sea before we get anywhere near the Fire Nation Islands.'

'Perhaps we could stop over at some of the places we've been to before,' Aang said enthusiastically as he peered at Sokka's map over the bundle he was carrying, 'meet old friends and stuff...'

Sokka looked up at him with a broad grin and an exaggerated wink. 'Yeah, I know who _you'd _like to meet, Arrowboy...'

Aang looked completely blank. 'Who?'

'You know... _Meng' _my brother said in a stage whisper, and another wink.

I looked up from where I was bundling some supplies in an oilskin bag, at the far end of the room, feeling immediately annoyed, even though I had dutifully pushed all thoughts of that whole affair out of my head ages ago. I had forgotten all that nonsense over Aunt Wu and her predictions.

Or I thought I had.

Apparently, the mention of Meng's name was enough to give me the urge to run out of the room - if those two were going to start talking about how pretty or sweet she was, I was outta there! But I was in for a surprise: Aang hitched the heavy bundle he was carrying a bit further up, and said:

'Meng? Who's Meng?'

I shook my head in disbelief as I bent over my bag. How could Aang forget? Just what I thought – Aang's just a kid and like all young kids, these early crushes are quickly forgotten: easy come easy go. First love indeed! I would've thought he'd remember her _name,_ at least!

'The girl you told me you liked...you know...' Sokka replied in another stage whisper, '...back in Makapu village?'

He glanced in my direction to see if I was listening. I made a great show of clattering things and ramming stuff in my bag, completely absorbed in my task.

I was listening, of course.

'You mean Aunt Wu's assistant?' Aang sounded so surprised, I looked up.

He wasn't faking it. His face above the big bundle he was carrying, looked genuinely confused and slightly bewildered.

Sokka nodded.

'But it wasn't _her_ I was talking about, Sokka, it was...' Aang's eyes went past my brother and before I knew it, had locked onto mine, and I couldn't pretend I wasn't paying attention. '...not her,' he ended lamely. 'I thought you knew.'

A deepening blush spread across his cheeks and he looked away in confusion, his face crimson red. But even in that split second our eyes met, I saw something there that made my breath hitch as his words slowly sank in. So, if it wasn't Meng... ?

'Well, she sure was crazy about you,' Sokka said, shrugging and rolling up the map.

'Yeah, I know,' but Aang's voice was disappointed, rather than smug.

'So if it wasn't Meng, who'd you drag me up Mount Makapu to get Panda Lilies for?'

I got up suddenly, face flushed, wanting, and yet not wanting, to hear Aang's answer to Sokka's question, but I needn't have feared:-

Aang's bundle almost fell out of his arms and he made a frantic grab to steady it. 'I'm - I'm going down to the stables to hitch this to Appa's saddle already,' he said, airbending some stuff that had fallen out back on top of the bundle again and making a quick exit.

I waited until my heart slowed down a bit and I could talk calmly:

'What was all that about?'

'Where you eavesdropping?' Sokka scowled.

'I only heard the last bit about Panda Lilies,' I lied 'Anyway, you've already told me about Meng.'

'Yeah, well. It seems it's some other girl. We never did get the Panda Lilies – we found Mount Makapu about to blow its' top.'

'Oh.'

I went back to work packing our stuff, but my mind was in a whirl. Why did Aang get so flustered a moment ago, and why didn't he answer Sokka's last question?

What if – what if the Panda Lilies were meant for me?

Suddenly, all the emotions I had so carefully hidden and pushed to the back of my mind came flooding back as though they had never left. Aunt Wu's prediction , the days of confusion right after I realised what her words could mean, the search for signs that her words could come true, and then – then the disappointment when Sokka told me Aang liked someone else. Disappointment I didn't want to admit to (even to myself), because I was surprised at the intensity of it. I suppose that's why I was so adamant in putting that whole thing behind me, and treating it as a ridiculous infatuation.

But now my mind is in turmoil, and I can't forget the fleeting look Aang gave me when he said he'd liked someone else, not Meng.

Then again, he might just have been embarrassed to admit he liked any other random girl in front of me. After all, Sokka had said Aang had asked _him_ for advice, and it was a 'guy thing'.

More importantly: do I like Aang _that_ way? I've spent all the time since after Makapu village, determinedly trying to quash any such thoughts and feelings, repeating to myself that 'Aang's just a kid'….

Only, Aang's great guy – really, truly, one-of-a-kind – and NOT because he's the Avatar. He's _Aang,_ and I've loved every minute of being his friend, in spite of all the ups-and-downs of our adventures …

Chief Arnook's farewell feast was a grand affair, though far more subdued than the one they had prepared for us when we first came here. I sat near Aang, but kept my eyes firmly on my plate for most of the meal, and I think Aang felt a bit awkward, too.

Of course, I could be mistaken, or perhaps I'm just reading too much into the matter. Perhaps, with the terrifying days of the Siege over, the relief from tension is making me dwell on romantic stuff, and over-react to the smallest things.

This afternoon's conversation has reinvigorated the seeds of something that had been planted in my head way back in Makapu village, but I'm not sure I appreciate it – for one, I can't sleep, and secondly, I don't like the awkwardness that comes with it . Furthermore, I don't want to act silly or anything around Aang. He needs _support_ for the huge tasks that lie ahead of him, and not some silly, distracted, teenage girl with her mind full of unhelpful romantic stuff… romantic stuff which I may be _completely mistaken about_…

Ugh! There I go _again_!

Enough! I will try and sleep. Tomorrow is a new, and important, beginning.

**4 th at sea and the 130th of our journey. The beginning of our voyage was uneventful, for since the Fire Nation Fleet has been wiped out, there is little presence of any ships along the Northern coastline of the Earth Kingdom. The seas here are also subject to violent and cold weather. Now we have left the Northern coastline and are heading South. **

**Yesterday, to the West, we saw in the distance the high mountains of the Air Nomads' western lands. To the East, a vast uninhabited land twisted into strange rock formations by now-inactive volcanoes. Today we are heading out to open waters. The winds continue to be favourable, as yet we have encountered no stormy seas and we are making very good time. If all goes well, next week we should reach the most treacherous part of our journey: we have to head towards land and pass through the narrow Mo Ce Sea between the Fire Nation Islands and the Earth Kingdom coastline: a heavily-patrolled, dangerous stretch of sea we have already passed once before, on our way to Roku's Island.**

Life on board is not so bad really. Of course, there's not much privacy and it's very cramped, even though this Northern Water Tribe vessel is far more spacious and wide than anything we have (or had) at the South Pole. However, the three of us are used to travelling for long hours in the even more confined quarters of Appa's saddle, so we're not complaining.

Besides, there's much more to do on a large ship than on a flying Bison: sails to tend ( and mend) , decks to clean, halyards and ropes to haul in, or stow, or tie; navigation and steering : it kept us all very busy, especially Sokka, who threw himself heart and soul into sailing. He likes it, for it reminds him of the days he used to go sailing with Dad, and besides, I think it's also giving him something to focus on, for he was rather down the day we left the Northern Water Tribe city, Yue's birthplace.

Perhaps it's better this way: at least now there is only the constant but more impersonal presence of the moon to remind him of her, rather than every bridge, canal and palace of the city where she used to roam.

I help around as much as I can. Sometimes, Master Pakku puts us waterbenders on the prow of the ship to redirect the flow of opposing currents and make the ship go even faster. Those occasions, till now, have been few and far between, for we've been blessed with good weather. Many other times, when the chores are done, I spend the evening with Master Pakku and the other waterbenders discussing their plans for rebuilding the Southern Water Tribe. Gran Gran will be so pleased: I know from the nostalgic tales she used to tell us as children that she misses the old days when the Southern Water Tribe was more than just a mere village of women and children – I know that she always hoped that one day the village would return to its old strength. That hope had faltered when the men left, and over the next couple of years, I know her hope had dwindled to a mere wish for survival.

But all that is going to change now. The Tribe _will_ be re-built and I'm so glad I've had a hand in it. Or perhaps, rather than myself, it was my mother's necklace that did it. When Pakku saw that necklace, everything changed. Fate works in mysterious ways.

I hope Gran Gran will not be too hard on Master Pakku: I think they may both have changed a lot since they last met.

Momo is as happy as only a winged lemur can be among what he considers his play area of tall ships' masts and rigging. He spends the day flying in and out of the rigging of these strange 'trees', coming down to steal fruit or other delicacies out of the sailors' hands, because he knows they can't follow him to his perch at the tip of the bowsprit.

The only one who isn't so happy with the arrangements on board is Appa, for he's stabled down in the hold ( a space between the two-keeled vessel that had to be especially enlarged to hold his bulk). But it's still pretty cramped for a bison. I go down regularly to visit him and give him titbits of his favourite fruit. The gentle brown eyes beneath the thick white lashes look at me dolefully, for the Captain and Master Pakku both think it is unsafe to let Appa fly when we're this close to the coastline, for he would give our presence away immediately.

Aang has taken him out flying on a few occasions, late at night, but hopefully, now we are heading out to open water, he'll be able to take him out more often and for longer. Poor Appa hates being confined, even though Aang is with him whenever he can.

Aang…

Thankfully, we have been so busy since I last wrote in this diary, that there hasn't been the awkwardness I was so afraid of.

Or _almost _no awkwardness.

The fact that we set sail immediately and there's very little privacy on board has helped me focus on my chores, rather than something I'm still not sure even exists ….

Aang is his usual friendly self whenever we're together: I think he's marginally happier now that we're travelling again, for he's a nomad by nature, and eager to see the Earth kingdom again.

Not that we're often alone together, with so many men and animals on board ( some Buffulo Yak, Arctic Hens and Ox Goats are stabled together with Appa in the hold). Even at night, our hammocks are strung together with those of the others, in an aft cabin.

I wrote that Aang is _marginally_ happier because he seems so during the day, but at night it's a different matter. He takes long to sleep and when he does, I've often heard him toss and turn restlessly in the hammock across from mine, clearly in the throes of troubled dreams.

In the morning, he's up as early as ever and never hints that anything disturbed his sleep. But I'm getting a bit worried now, for the disturbed nights seem to be occurring more often.

In the first few days after the siege ended, he wasn't the only one whose sleep was troubled by dreams that echoed with the noise, sights and sounds of battle. In those first few days, my own dreams were haunted by the loud blasts of fireballs, the sense of endlessly searching the icy tundra for someone or something I couldn't find; the groans of the wounded and dying in the Infirmary...

I remember I had gone with Aang once, soon after Zhao's fleet was destroyed, to look for possible survivors and bring them back. We found nobody. But here and there, floating between the carcasses of the broken ships, we saw a shoe, or a bag, a wooden spoon or a small bowl, some letters and scrolls, their ink faded and washed away. These small, everyday things somehow spoke more eloquently about their dead owners, now deep beneath the ocean, than any eulogy could...

But even this sorry debris, floating between the broken remains of the ships, was gone soon after, sinking gently down to the ocean bed to rejoin their masters.

Sometimes I wonder, as I watch the troubled expressions flit across Aang's sleeping face, whether these little things have returned to haunt Aang in his dreams: silly little reminders of how evanescent life can be and how cruel and haphazard fate can be when it determines who should live and who should die, who will be the killer and who will be killed.


	24. Chapter 24

**9th day on board and the 139th of our journey. We have been sailing in open water for days now and life on board has settled into a comfortable, though very busy, routine. Even Appa, the Avatar's bison, is much happier since he can go on regular flights to stretch his legs and escape the confines of the hold. **

**The ship is rolling rather heavily tonight and the Navigator has predicted a storm. If we don't get through it in one piece we will have to head for shore for repairs. That would be dangerous, for a lot of the coastline is occupied by Fire Nation troops or colonies. **

Life has become as safe and comfortable as we could ever have dared hope on this ship. A few days ago was the start of the Spring season, yet though the weather is a bit unsettled, we have sighted no enemy ships. I know that the dangerous part of our sea voyage still lies ahead, but for now it has been tranquil enough for me to reflect a bit about relationships between the crew and ourselves. In some days' time I will probably not see these Waterbenders and Healers again as we part ways.

They are, like all Water Tribe people, very brave to sail off on a dangerous mission into the unknown. Yet Water Tribe people are very adaptable, and can make themselves at home almost anywhere.

The division of labour aboard ship is still, like it was back at the North Pole, gender-segregated mostly. Yet, as the days pass, I've come to see the demarcation lines blur a bit: many of the Healers come on deck to help with the sails and rigging, and a couple of the younger, more headstrong women among them insist on helping us re-direct the currents at the prow of the ship. Master Pakku gruffly allowed them help when he saw they were doing a good job.

And some of the men have insisted on getting some healing lessons from the women. I think, after the Siege, they all realised how important it is, if they do possess the gift at all, not to waste it.

Other young men have been down in the galley helping the Water Tribe girls prepare our dinner (though, judging by the giggling and laughing, they went down there to flirt, rather than wash dishes.)

I'm glad to see the rigid Northern Water Tribe rules relax a bit on this trip: they will need to be a bit more flexible at the South Pole, for although there has always been a rather sexist ( in my opinion) division of labor even back home, it's nowhere as restrictive as the one up north. And in recent years, since the Southern Water Tribe men left, virtually ALL labour, including fishing and hunting, was done by the women and us two teenagers (though Sokka liked to think he was the sole provider for the village).

I can't help smiling as I think that by the time this ship reaches the South Pole, there will be a few more couples on board: I've seen Ahnah smile shyly at Keyush and whatever he whispered in her ear then made her turn as red as the setting sun. And Master Pakku had to go down three times himself to dig Onartak out of the galley and back to his deck-top chores. He insisted he was learning 'survival cooking techniques' but he's really outrageously flirting with Iluak, one of the Healers.

It warms my heart to see young people in love. After so much carnage and destruction, it's really sweet to see how, like a flower growing amid the rubble of war, love somehow always makes it through, come what may!

And though I'm a bit more calm about it, I still can't get my head out of the clouds about Aang and what he said the day before we left: I keep vacillating between calling myself a complete _idiot _for even thinking such things, and feeling strangely excited whenever he comes near.

I've been thinking about what the fortune-teller told me quite often these days, especially when, on quiet nights, I'm up on deck and the only sounds are the creaking of the mast and rigging, and the soft whispering of the waves as they rush by the ship. The skies stretch to infinity above me and the dark ocean is vast and reaches as far as the eye can see, everywhere I look. The rocking motion, ever onwards, of the ship, seems to bear me towards the immensity of the skies above, and the myriad little pin-points of stars, and I wonder, amidst all this grandeur, where do I stand? What is my future and can it really be foretold?

I don't know.

But these days Aunt Wu's words have come back to me forcefully ... _a powerful bender_.

But what Bender? Soon after Makapu I had kind of wondered whether, once we'd reached the North Pole, and I'd be in the company of waterbenders such as the Southern Tribe has not seen in decades, I might find someone there to match Aunt Wu's prediction. But I've been across half the world, spent many weeks in the company of fellow Waterbenders learning their skills, and yet I have found none that could hope to match what Aang could do when he puts a mind to it.

More importantly, none of these guys gave me the feeling of being _alive,_ of being appreciated simply for being myself. Sokka may have found love here at the North Pole, but I certainly haven't. The guys there were totally obnoxious in the beginning, mirroring Pakku's sexist views, and after I beat them at bending, some were positively terrified of me ( I think I was trying to prove a point with them too) – I guess they just didn't know what to make of me! They thawed a bit especially after the siege, coming to accept me for who I am. War, strangely enough, does forge a sort of bond between those who fight side by side against a common enemy, irrespective of gender and tribe.

And yet, through all the sorrows and fears of the siege, and all the young men that got hurt or even died during those days, nothing shook me more than when I allowed Aang to be kidnapped by Zuko. He had been in the Spirit world and helpless then, and I felt that even the outcome of the siege was not as important as finding Aang alive!

I suppose it was wrong of me, because thousands of lives had been at stake, but in spite of it all, I could only think of Aang.

So much has happened since I left my home months ago, and yet I can say that every day, throughout all our adventures, my life since has revolved, for better or for worse, around Aang. It can hardly be otherwise, since trouble dogs his footsteps, but even so, …

In the few days of confusion after we left Makapu village and Aunt Wu's words had turned my head right round, I remember going over all I had written in my mother's scroll, looking for any clues, any recorded conversation or event that might indicate whether Aang liked me more than a friend, because I just didn't know _what_ to think then. And yet, though there was nothing blatantly obvious in anything that I recorded, ( and I scoured the scroll carefully): there was one little fact that had been staring at me from the parchment all throughout: my writing was almost all about Aang, and not just because he is the Avatar, but because I care so deeply about him.

There - now I'm blushing at what I've written.

And I didn't really need to look at my scroll really, for I knew there was something between us – something beyond the ties of the surrogate family my brother and I had become for Aang…

It was hard to put my finger on it, or rather, I did not recognise it except, perhaps, subconsciously. Sometimes it just the way Aang looked at me – almost as though he couldn't believe I was real, and there would be a faraway, dreamy look in his gray eyes that always aroused an answering prickle of something like excitement in me.

Sometimes, like with the necklace woven out of Sokka's fishing line, it was not so overt…

But all that had flown out of my head when Sokka told me about Meng .

I had felt so stupid …

Now Panda Lilies and the news that Aang liked some other mysterious girl. I'd haunted Aunt Wu's house long enough to know the significance of the rare Panda Lily. Several girls were told their love would bring them one of the rare flowers that grew only in the volcanic soil high on Mount Makapu. But who was Aang getting them for?

Even as I'm writing this, I can't help glancing over at his hammock where he's asleep. It's another bad night for him: the faint starlight that filtered in through the trapdoor that leads to the deck above has gone now, covered by clouds, but before it did, I could see him tossing and turning, his face white under the starlight, a frown creasing his forehead. His eyes are closed, for I can see the long eyelashes, like dark smudges, on his pale cheeks, but many fleeting expressions chase each other across his face, all of them anxious, and his breathing is fast and shallow.

Now there is only the light from a small oil lamp hanging at the other side of the cabin and I'm finding it increasingly hard to write. Not only because of the dim light, but because the ship is pitching and rolling heavily, and I cannot hold my quill steady.

There - that was the first roll of thunder! The predicted storm is upon us. I hope it won't be too bad. At least one good thing about this little Earth Book is that its' pages are waxed and it will survive the effect of sea spray easily. Whoever it was intended for, must have been a mariner or a traveller.

Aang is getting more agitated. I should stop now, because anyway –

**10 th day on board and the 140****th**** of our journey south. The storm hit us a bit before midnight. It damaged one of the sails and the rudder and was very severe, though it had blown over by morning. The avatar warded off much of the wind damage by airbending the gusts away from the rigging, and the waterbenders united to still the worst of the storm waves, but the ship took a battering. Thankfully, the storm came from the north and we have not been blown off course. We are heading inland now and soon we should be passing the narrow strait between the Fire Nation Islands and the Earth Kingdom coast.**

Yesterday, the urgent reverberating sound of the ship's alarm interrupted my writing. It was all hands on deck and everyone knew it was a bad storm, though not as bad as the one Sokka almost lost his life in when he went fishing with the old man in the Harbour town.

Aang woke up with a start at the sound of the alarm:

'It's not me, it's the Avatar!' he shouted, his eyes wide and staring before he realised it had just been a dream.

'You ok?' I was already out of my hammock and pulling on my parka.

He still looked pale but the sound of the alarm had dispelled the slight disorientation, and though he seemed a bit discomfited I'd heard his odd words, he grabbed hold of the rungs and swung up the ladder lightly.

Sokka was already getting drowsily dressed, and soon the rest were climbing out of their hammocks and into their clothes.

I followed Aang up on deck and was immediately buffeted by the winds of the raging storm. But storms I was used to, though the pitching and rolling of the ship made it difficult to keep balance. At least this was a large water-tribe- made ship and it had two keels: it would weather the storm better than the Fishing boat Sokka had been on. Aang had already airbended himself up on the ships mast, helping the men there to furl the sails. One of them was already torn.

I went to the prow of the ship where Master Pakku was directing the larger waves away from the ship, for some were rising high enough to swamp the ship. When the other water benders joined us, he divided us into two groups: one on each of the ships' two prows. Waterbending ocean waves this big (and they were getting bigger) required the combined effort and concentration of several benders.

That's when I made the mistake of looking back to see if Aang was ok.

I think it is a force of habit, or perhaps my mind had been revolving around Aang so intensely recently, that I just couldn't help it. As usual, in a tight situation, Aang delivered. He had somehow managed to climb to the very top of the mast and was bending the wind gusts away from the sails, with graceful circular movements, so that the men could have enough time to furl the sail before further damage was done. The expression on his face was grimly determined and there was no trace of the guilt that had crippled him during the last big storm we'd weathered off the shores of the Harbour town. That storm had triggered his fears and a deep-seated guilt he had only confessed to me. I hoped tonight's storm would not remind him of that. But his slight figure was perched high up on the swaying mast and he was facing the storm with fierce courage. My heart swelled with pride and admiration.

Admiration I should have kept for a more opportune time and place, for suddenly there was a yell in my ear. I lost my balance as the ship heaved and I was momentarily blinded by sea spray.

Bending the water away hastily, I tried to regain my feet but the ship tilted sharply onto its left keel, its right one lifted almost out of the sea by the sheer force of wind and wave. Horrified, I realised all the waterbenders were struggling to keep their balance, some clutching the sides of the ship, some the ropes of the bowsprit. Onartak, the one who had yelled, was overboard, his hands scrabbling frantically for a hand-hold. Only Master Pakku kept his head and froze a long rope of water that immobilised Onartak to the side of the ship, preventing him from falling overboard.

'Katara! Will you take your eyes off Aang for a minute, and concentrate on what you're supposed to be doing?!' Master Pakku shouted angrily, 'The Avatar can take care of himself!'

My face on fire, I summoned all my strength and single-handedly bended the upcoming wave away from the ship, the guilt at my mistake lending more strength to my bending than the sting in Master Pakku's words. This was all my fault: I had lost concentration and, not working in synchronicity with the other benders, I had allowed the wave on our side to swamp us, the resultant imbalance allowing the wind and waves to throw the right keel almost out of the water. I brought the ship on an even keel once more, but Pakku had no words of praise for what would otherwise have been one of my strongest waterbending actions, and I couldn't blame him:

'Sorry, Onartak.' I said as I held him back on board after Pakku released him from the ice.

'Never mind that now' Onartak answered, shivering slightly, 'let's get back onto it before we all end up swimming!'

Shamed by Onartak's calm prioritisation, I focussed on the task at hand. He had every right to be angry with me instead – I had almost cost him his life! From that moment I did not look again in Aang's direction.

It was in the early hours of the morning when the storm finally blew over and the cold glitter of stars could be seen between the scudding clouds. The Navigator said we had not been blown off course, but we were now further along in the South-easterly direction than we had anticipated and tomorrow we will definitely hit the narrow strait of water between the Earth Kingdom and the outermost Fire Nation Islands.

We have been organised into two shifts: one will stay up and start repairing the damage to the ship and another will rest until dawn. Sokka and I are part of the latter shift. My brother is already sleeping, exhausted, but the rush of excitement as well as the guilt of what I had almost let happen has kept me awake, at least long enough to write in this journal. I'm tired now – so tired that I cannot keep my eyes open and I can't even think any more – not even about my near-fatal mistake. Tomorrow I'll apologise to Onartak properly.

**142 nd day of our journey, and the first in the Earth Kingdom. Yesterday we passed the narrow strait between the outer Fire Nation Islands and the Earth Kindom coastline. By working round the clock we managed to fix the damage to the sail and rigging in time for this perilous passage. The last time we were in these waters they were heavily patrolled and Zhao's fleet formed a blockade right in front of the Fire Nation islands. However yesterday we passed through without a hitch. Aided by an evening mist, we crossed silently and safely to more open waters, all the waterbenders on board bending the water for a swifter passage, and the Avatar airbending wind into the sails. **

**Master Pakku said that the complete dearth of any naval activity was probably due to the fact that the Fire Nation had lost its entire fleet in the siege of the north, and after Admiral Zhao's death, no other Admiral had yet taken his place.**

**As planned, early this morning, we took our leave of Master Pakku and all on board as we are to proceed on Appa to General Fong's fortress in the Earth Kingdom. From there we will be escorted to Omashu, where the Avatar will start to learn earthbending.**

**In a simple leave-taking ceremony, Master Pakku gave the Avatar a box of water-bending scrolls so that he continues his training. He gave me a phial of special healing water from the spirit oasis. **

Writing in a book on a flying Bison is not as easy as writing in a scroll: the pages keep flipping over with the wind, which never happens when you have a scroll. Not that it's a strong wind: Appa's airbending usually counteracts anything but a gale, still…

I guess I just have to get used to it.

I will miss the familiarity of life on board, steeped in Water Tribe objects and customs ( some of the customs, at any rate). I will miss the comfort of the rocking motion of the ship and the soothing sound of the waves lapping its side, as though the Spirit of the Ocean was crooning a lullaby. I will miss Master Pakku, Iluak, Patyuk, Keyush, Ahnah and all the others: I had got to know them so well in these few weeks in the close confines of a ship.

It may be a very long time before I meet anyone from the Water Tribe again …

On the other hand, there is another kind of peaceful familiarity in being 'us three' again, back in Appa's saddle. It is a peaceful feeling with an underlying thread of anticipation: what new adventures await us here in the Earth Kingdom, I wonder?

Flying with the Avatar carries its own risks: I just hope we reach General Fong's fortress safely. Yesterday's passage was a nail-biting experience enough. After the storm, the weather has been mild all day, with the early spring sunshine a welcome change.

Now that the most dangerous part of our journey on board the Northern Water Tribe's ship is over, I know Master Pakku and the others will reach the South Pole safely. It was a tense few hours and every single person on board was on deck. Those not waterbending or manning the ship gazed intently at the misty seascape, dreading the appearance of the black prows of some Fire Nation ship.

But we saw nothing.

I suppose we have got to thank Aang for our safe passage: if he hadn't destroyed Zhao's fleet, we would have been definitely discovered and attacked. However, I know that Aang has ambivalent feelings about the Siege.

I knew he hadn't forgotten that the victory was bittersweet for him and the death and destruction he saw there still haunt him. Last night, he had another bad dream. Perhaps it was triggered by the storm we'd just been through, just like it had before, at that harbour town in the Earth Kingdom.

I heard a low gasp as of shock from Aang's hammock ( why is that that among all the creaking noises of a ship under sail, the snoring of others asleep, I can pick out Aang's voice among all others?) and saw him breathing hard in the aftermath of a nightmare. Looking pale and disturbed, he got out of his hammock and made his way to the ladder to climb up on deck. Worried, I followed and found him leaning over the rails of the ship looking at the restless ocean below, the dark-gray of the night sea reflected in the brooding grey of his eyes, shadowing their usual clarity.

'D'you wanna talk about it?' I asked gently.

It had happened far too often since the day of our victory. Aang's naturally buoyant spirit and upbeat character were enough to disguise his fears during the day, but at night, when our subconscious re-affirms its grip upon our minds, it's a completely different matter.

I should know, for I suffered from nightmares for months and months after that Fire Nation raid on our village, waking up in a panic of unnamed dread, even while, during the day, I put on a brave face and pretended to fill in the Mom's place.

He said he dreamt like he'd had an out-of-body experience.

'_I _was scary,' he whispered, clearly unsettled by the dream. I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

'It's only when you're in the Avatar state. You look …different, then,' I said, even though I knew he was right, in a way. I felt him stiffen slightly beneath my hand.

'I told you I'm _aware _of being in the Avatar state, but I had never _seen _myself like that before. Am I …am I that scary?'

His eyes flickered to mine, then, when I didn't answer immediately, back to the restless dark ocean, as though afraid of what he'd see in my expression.

But what could I tell him? His expression when in the Avatar state is unsettling and painful to watch, and yes, on a certain level, scary, I suppose. I rested my arms on the railings and looked down at the waves below, wanting to comfort him, yet at the same time, knowing he would not want any sugar-coating of the truth. Not anymore.

I had tried to protect him from the truth once, back at the Southern Air Temple. But it had been a mistake. He had found out the truth for himself and the shock had triggered the Avatar state. I had never seen so much rage and pain on a young boy's face before: that expression has been indelibly burnt in my mind. Perhaps, had I spoken to him before, I might have eased the blow instead of making it worse.

Yet even now, I tried to soften my words:

'I – I don't exactly know what you saw in your dream, Aang. All I know is that when you're in the Avatar state, your expression is not what I expect to see. Having come to know you so well, I see the change more keenly …..'

Aang said nothing. I glanced sideways at the frown on his shadowed face.

'And it's never the same change, it's always slightly different. Sometimes …sometimes it's even a _lack _of expression, or an odd one, like I'd expect some Tribal Elder to have – kinda wise and knowledgeable …not that you're not wise and knowledgeable now, of course' I added with a smile, trying to lighten the conversation, '…but I'm talking of wisdom beyond your years. It's hard to explain.'

'Well, 'wise beyond my years' doesn't sound too bad, huh?' Aang said with a small smile that quickly faded, 'but that wasn't what I saw in my dream.'

'Aang, you're not quite yourself when you're in the Avatar state, but I'm sure we'll find out more about it during your training. Perhaps someone like the Fire Sages – friendlier though – will explain. We're bound to find someone, somewhere, in the Earth Kingdom…'

'Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, I told you, it was just a dream…'.

We stood in silence for some time more, just looking at the sea and listening to the soothing sound of the waves lapping the ship's side. The Ocean Spirit's Lullaby, Dad used to call it, for it has a calming effect. Still, I couldn't help thinking about what I had left unsaid: Aang's rage when in the Avatar state. During the Siege of the North I hadn't been close enough to see Aang as the Ocean Spirit acted through him to destroy the Fire Nation Fleet, but many of those who did said it was awesome, yet terrible, to behold.

If in his dreams he's re-living that time, then, for Aang especially, it is a nightmare indeed.

There's so little we know about the Avatar state… probably it has something to do with his past lives, but how, exactly? I had hoped that now we're back to travelling on Appa, with the events of the siege behind us and a plan of action to focus on, he can relax a bit.

But it seems that the ghost of the siege of the North is still haunting Aang.

That's why I want to start training him in waterbending as soon as possible. Even before we get to Omashu. It would take his mind of things for a bit. Besides, we haven't had time to practise since we left the Northern Water Tribe. And there was always so much to do on the ship that Master Pakku barely managed a few hours of practise on odd days while on board, so now I want to make up for lost time. It will help if Aang has something to focus on. (though I must say, during those few hours of practise with Master Pakku on board, Aang put a lot more effort than he had ever done back at the North Pole).

It will also help _me_ to have something to focus on, for after the incident with Onartak during that storm, I've had to do some soul-searching myself.

I can't ever allow myself to get so distracted again. If Onartak had been lost at sea through my own negligence, I would never forgive myself. I apologised to Onartak and then to his girlfriend, Iluak, for almost losing her future husband at sea, for I knew she had been distraught with worry.

To my surprise, my apology was not needed.

'Why're you telling me this? Why should I care what happens to Onartak?!' she snapped.

Seeing my shocked expression, she burst into tears and ran off to the aft cabin. It turned out they'd had a quarrel after the storm. According to Putyuk, one of the older Healers, it was about something pretty trivial.

'The tension just got the better of them. Don't worry, Katara' she said, seeing my woebegone expression 'It's just a lover's tiff. It always happens in a relationship. They'll make up in the end… I hope.'

Her words weren't exactly comforting. I was sorry for Onartak and Iluak: I kinda liked the idea of the two young lovers setting up home at the South Pole. But, that was yesterday, and I could see how awkward and uncomfortable the two were when in each other's presence. And on board a ship, there's pretty little you can do to avoid anyone's company, so it was a bit awkward for all of us really.

Anyway, the incident with Onartak taught me a lesson. Master Pakku's furious words are still ringing in my ear: '_Will you take your eyes off Aang for a minute, and concentrate on what you're supposed to be doing!'_. From now on, I must focus on the task at hand. We all have a purpose: and that is to help Aang become the Avatar he is expected to be. Nothing else. Right now, Aang is troubled by these recurring dreams and we have just set out on a new chapter of our journey: that is more than enough to deal with.

My head and heart still wander, unbidden, in the forbidden direction sometimes, but I'll try and control it. For more than one reason.

This morning as we gathered on deck for a simple leave-taking ceremony before we left for General Fong's fortress, I could see Iluak looking sad and distraught, carefully avoiding making eye contact with Onartak, who looked angry, with a haughty look on his face that I knew was just due to hurt pride. I hope they make up. The long voyage south under such circumstances will be tough not only for them, but for the closeness of the group as a whole.

Appa was loaded with Provisions: Chief Arnook had been very generous to us and we were laden with whatever supplies we needed as well as a change of clothes for the warmer spring weather and some treats for Momo and Appa. Then Master Pakku solemnly invoked the Moon and Ocean Spirit to protect us on our way as we lined up to say goodbye.

As I hugged Master Pakku goodbye (yes, _hugged:_ Master Pakku has mellowed quite a bit and has learned from me, just as I have from him) he surprised me by giving me a beautiful glass amulet with water from the Spirit Oasis with special properties. I have it round my neck right now. He gave Aang a beautiful box with some scrolls on waterbending which he's looking at right now, even though he's supposed to be guiding Appa.

Well, actually Appa is flying really fast and doesn't need any encouragement: he's glad to get away from the close confines of the ship's hold. Aang looks pretty absorbed in his scroll: something tells me he'll study waterbending more assiduously this season. And Sokka – Sokka looks bored because we've been flying for hours now, and after the intense activity of the ship this feels well…lazy.

Just now my brother's spotted something in the distance– the fortress, I think.


	25. Chapter 25

**142 nd day of our journey We have reached General Fong's fortress, an impenetrable stronghold set deep in the mountain range on the Western coast of the Earth Kingdom. It is the only remaining one in this part of the Earth Kingdom, for most of the coastline here is occupied by Fire Nation. **

**General Fong, a tall, robust Earthbender who is very zealous in his task, gave us a hero's welcome that we hadn't quite expected. But it seems that the story of the Avatar's single-handed defeat of Admiral Zhao's fleet has reached far and wide, and this has prompted the General to plan an invasion of the Fire Nation using the Avatar, as , in his own words, 'the ultimate weapon'.**

There were even _fireworks_! We hadn't realised, being at sea all this time, how the news had travelled. It was kinda flattering to land and find ourselves given a hero's welcome (I mean: '_mighty Katara?!_ Who would ever have imagined I'd be called that?!)

However, later, when we were given a private audience with General Fong in his huge and imposing office, things got complicated, and I realised that General Fong wasn't only interested in organising a welcome party for us.

He has a private agenda of his own.

The fortress being the one and only possible stronghold large enough to stage an attack on the Fire Nation, he wants to re-create what happened at the siege of the north and have Aang lead an invasion right into Fire Nation land!

'With the kind of power he possesses—'General Fong said, animatedly, his eyes glowing with a fanatical light '- power enough to destroy hundreds of battleships in a matter of _minutes_—he could defeat the Fire Lord _now_!'

I started having serious doubts about this General Fong. I could see that he was an ambitious and driven man. Tall, broad-shouldered and bearded - every inch of him, from his rock-solid stance, to the determined gleam in his green eyes, proclaim him to be someone used to giving commands and seeing that they are obeyed: a man who brooks no opposition to his plans and ideas.

We clashed immediately of course.

'We already have a plan. Aang's pursuing _his_ destiny _his_ way,' I said, already irritated at his high-handed way of sweeping our arguments and plans away as if they were of no matter.

But General Fong had a manipulative streak in him: he took Aang to the window and showed him the Infirmary. There were hundreds of Earth Kingdom soldiers there, maimed and broken: the ugly flotsam and jetsam of a long war that many military commanders took pains to hide from the general public.

Those who could walk by themselves slouched dejectedly outside the Infirmary buildings; others were being carried on stretchers. None of them seemed interested in what was happening around them: their expressions were blank and inward-looking…

I felt my stomach clench painfully, for they reminded me of the Water Tribe men at old Yagoda's Infirmary. Yet there was something different: at the North Pole, many of the injured bore their hurt with a pride enhanced by the victory over the Fire Nation. Here, the soldiers had a defeated look… the 100 years of war had worn their spirits.

'Every day the Fire Nation takes lives,' General Fong was saying 'People are _dying_, Aang! You could end it - now!'

Aang looked distraught at the sight of the broken men below, and an expression of guily passed fleetingly across his face. General Fong was right of course, yet still, I somehow had the impression that he was just saying that to put pressure on Aang, and that he wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice those self-same men and many more, in some foolhardy attempt to invade the Fire Nation.

General Fong's plan was to figure out how to trigger the Avatar state. But all my instincts were screaming that it was not the right thing to do. It was just a foolhardy shortcut that would not work! Since the beginning of time, the Avatar had to master all four elements to be truly an Avatar. There must be some very valid reason as to why this has always been so…

However, General Fong told Aang to think about it and then we were shown to the guest quarters in the main central tower of the fortress: after sleeping in a hammock for so long on board a crowded ship, I must say these beds are really comfortable: they're recessed in the solid wall of our room with curtains in front. The ever-glowing green lamps provide light, and off to one side, there's a huge bathroom .

While I was unpacking some of our stuff I noticed Aang had disappeared.

'Where's Aang?' I asked Sokka, who was stretching out luxuriantly on his bed.

'Dunno,' Sokka shrugged 'Perhaps visiting Appa'.

I have a feeling that Appa isn't what is on Aang's mind. Ever since General Fong spoke to us, Aang's been really subdued. I hope he doesn't give in to the pressure. Much as I, myself, would like to end this war as quickly as possible, I would rather put my faith in the old legends and only when he has mastered all four elements can an Avatar truly be called that. Attempting something so crazy at this stage will only lead to grief: for Aang, as well as everyone else suffering from this war. I suspect that General Fong is only seeing an opportunity for fame and glory, in spite of his words about the dead and dying. The attraction of being credited with a victory over the Fire Nation even greater than the one at the North Pole, is hard for someone of his military mind to resist.

**143 rd day of our journey and the second at General Fong's Fortress. The Avatar has told General Fong he'd help him with his invasion plan. The first step is to understand how to get in and out of the Avatar State. General Fong intends to exploit the immense power the Avatar can summon when in that state. Today has been spent in trying to trigger the Avatar State using different methods.**

When Aang came back yesterday and said he'd help General Fong by going into the Avatar state I was really mad at him. How can he listen to that stupid General's advice and not mine?! After all, Fong is just seeing Aang as a means to get what he wants - selfishly ready to sacrifice him in order to fulfil his own ambitions. Doesn't Aang see how dangerous it is to invade the Fire Nation when he isn't yet ready to do so? What if something happens to him?

After we've come so far….

And even if he managed to enter the Avatar state, he has no control over what he's doing then.

My stupid brother encouraged him: 'Glow it up and stop that Firelord,' he told him.

I called them both a couple of meatheads and stormed out of the room in a temper, ignoring Aang's plea that he had no time to do it the right way.

Of course we _had_ time – not a lot of it, given it's already the beginning of spring– but still, we have many more months ahead of us which could be spent doing some serious study and practice: I know I can teach Aang waterbending, and that would leave only Earth and Fire. We could _do_ this! And yet he's throwing away all we've worked for!

I spent a couple of hours on the wide terrace outside our room, cooling off. It was a clear night and a crescent moon was just peering behind the mountains. As usual, it had a calming effect on me and I was sorry for snapping at Aang (though not for snapping at Sokka: my brother should stay out of certain things!).

I knew that Aang was acting out of nobler intentions than General Fong, and that the pressure to do something about the war is heavier on him than it is on anyone else, but he has done a lot already, and we just need as much time as we can to get ready!

As the moon climbed higher in the night sky I found myself dreading the next day. What if General Fong actually _succeeded_ in finding a way to trigger the Avatar state?

I felt a shiver of fear pass through me and my eyes turned back to the darkened door of our room.

I knew then that there was another reason why I was so against the idea of trying to get Aang into the Avatar state…. It was something I did not like to watch. The dreadful memory of one such occasion is still fresh in my mind, and in every other time I saw Aang in the Avatar State, the eerie change in personality always shakes me more than the raw power he can command.

I went back inside then, feeling sorry for my earlier outburst and thinking, not for the first time, how unfairly complicated life was becoming for Aang ….for all of us. Tiptoeing softly in the darkened room so as not to disturb the guys, I saw my brother lying spread-eagled on his bunk, snoring softly, but Aang's bunk was in deeper shadow and I could see nothing.

Throwing off my shoes, I sat down on my own bunk, loosening my hair for the night, when a soft rustle made me look up. Aang was sitting up in the bunk across from mine. I could only see the pale outline of his face and chest, but I knew he was looking at me.

I sighed and let my hands fall to my side for I knew that look, even though I couldn't see his face.

'I'm sorry, Aang' I whispered 'I didn't mean to snap at you – '

'It's ok - you're right about the discipline and study and stuff . I wish I'd practised more– and I know that the Avatar has to master the four elements – the monks were pretty clear about that too, but I can't ignore what General Fong has said, either.'

'He's _wrong,_ Aang. I've got a bad feeling about this! You're not ready. What if something terrible happens to you?'

My voice quivered, but there was silence from the direction of Aang's bunk, and I could see his pale shadow motionless within.

'There's a long way to that yet,' he whispered back finally, 'Before, I've got to learn about the Avatar State. After those nightmares, _anything_ I knowabout being in the Avatar State will help. Don't you think it's a good idea if I can get in and out of that state whenever I want... and ...and control what I do when I'm in it?'

_No_, I wanted to shout, _No it's not!_ _I don't want to see you like that!_ But I was silent for a bit. What he said made sense. This had haunted his dreams ever since we left the North Pole. He had to know more about the Avatar state. But I hoped any explanations we arrived at would disperse his nightmares and not increase them.

'Yeah, I s'ppose so,' I sighed, 'Get some sleep now. The power Fong wants to harness always drains you. I'll be there to help you tomorrow.'

'Thanks, Katara. Really.'

It was much later that I managed to fall asleep, for the dreaded anticipation of what I had to help Aang do the next day kept me awake.

But I needn't have worried.

Nothing worked.

General Fong and the wisest and most knowledgeable men of the fort had no idea how to induce the Avatar State. We even went to a herbalist guy on a nearby mountain so that Aang could drink a chi-enhancing tea, and within the Fortress' temple, their priest solicited nothing more than a humongous sneeze from Aang with his hocus pocus and concoction of mud (representing the four elements). Throughout it all I went along quietly with their crazy ideas on how to trigger Aang's avatar state – I was even the one to cover Aang's eyes with my hands when Sokka tried to shock him into it, but as the morning wore off, nothing had happened, and Aang's tattoos remained a stubborn pale blue, and his eyes the usual clear gray.

By late afternoon I was getting increasingly annoyed with General Fong and his attempts. I finally left halfway through a chanting session that the Priest at the temple had invented for the occasion. It wasn't working anyway: Sokka looked bored, and Aang, who was lying on a mat surrounded by objects representing the four elements, was nearly asleep, lulled by the chanting.

They were all ignoring one crucial fact, (even though I wasn't about to tell them what it was): every time Aang had gone into the Avatar state he had been in distress – genuine distress, or danger. I don't think that this can – or should - be recreated. So although my initial fear that the Avatar state is going to be triggered at any time soon had lessened, my chagrin at the waste of time when we could be on our way to Omashu, has increased correspondingly.

But it was when I overheard some soldiers talking about General Fong's next idea to trigger the Avatar state that I really flipped.

'General Fong's orders were to triple the amount!' one soldier was telling three others in the yard below. They were carrying boxes of what looked like small stones.

'This is going to be one big bang, sir,' one of the soldiers complained, 'Are you sure the outer buildings'll stand up to the blast?'

I recognised the small round stones as the Firecrackers they had let off when we arrived.

'Tomorrow they'll be placed in the training grounds,' the soldier replied.' They're for the Avatar.'

'The Avatar? But we already -!'

'Don't question your orders!' the first solder exploded 'Or you know what happens! General Fong will give us the details tomorrow. He mentioned a 'surprise'-'

'Some _surprise_…' I heard the other grumble, but the rest of his words were an unintelligible mumble under the glare of his superior's eyes.

I shook my head in exasperatedly. Would General Fong stop at nothing?! His ideas to trigger the Avatar state were becoming crazier …and more dangerous. I figured then that he might actually, though unwittingly, succeed. And suddenly, I knew I would not – _could not_ - let that happen. Not now – not here. General Fong knew - or cared - nothing about the Avatar state except to exploit it for all the wrong reasons.

I resolved to speak to Aang as soon as he finished the chanting thing. He had to listen to me this time.

The sun was setting when I finally found him. He was leaning against the railing on the terrace outside our balcony, looking despondently at the fiery sky. There was no need for him to tell me that it was another failed effort.

By now the idea of understanding what the Avatar State had really taken hold of him – I could see that. And the repeated failures were getting to him. He seemed so determined to do this. What could I tell him to dissuade him? What argument could I use against General Fong's cold logic?

As Avatar he _needs_ to know what the Avatar state is, and how to use it, but after a hundred years with no Avatar, it's difficult to even find anybody still _alive_ who remembers living under the protection of an Avatar, let alone someone who could shed some light on the Avatar State… Perhaps we should have lingered a bit more at the Southern Air Temple: Aang said there was a huge Library there. I'm sure there would've been scrolls and books about Avatars and their powers … Then perhaps we wouldn't be wasting our days in General Fong's fortress, trying to understand something that is beyond the General's power to explain or use.

The Southern Air Temple…

As I came up to Aang I felt that there might be one argument he would listen to…

'Do you remember when we were at the air temple and you found Monk Gyatso's skeleton?' I asked gently (and with some trepidation- he had never wanted to talk about that), 'It must have been so horrible and traumatic for you. I saw you get so upset that you weren't even _you_ anymore.'

I paused as the sting of those words set in, and I saw him stiffen.

'I'm not saying the Avatar state doesn't have incredible—and helpful power,' I added hastily, seeing the pain in his eyes as I voiced his own nightmares, 'But you have to understand, for the people who love you, watching you be in that much rage and pain is really scary.'

There – I had said it! All my secret fears and my _real _reason for not wanting to see this through…

It was such a silly reason, compared to the grand scope and scale of events in General Fong's plans for invasion, but they were _his_ fears too, and I didn't want to watch him turn into his own nightmares!

He looked at me for a minute, the dying sun reflected, fiery red, in his eyes. There was a fleeting expression of something vividly unexpected in his eyes

'I'm really glad you told me that,' he said, with a strange light in his eyes.

However, it must have been a trick of the setting sun, for the dejected expression returned. 'But I still need to do this,' he added sadly.

'I don't understand.'

'No, you don't! Every day more and more people die. I'm already a hundred years late. Defeating the Fire Lord is the only way to stop this war. I _have _to try it,' he said, his voice rising vehemently.

I was stunned into silence by his outburst. I should have expected it, I guess. I knew he felt guilty about the Hundred Years War, and no amount of reasoning will ever make that go away entirely. My argument hadn't worked, and I felt hurt and defeated.

'I can't watch you do this to yourself. I'm not coming tomorrow,' I said, quietly, 'Goodnight.'

I left him standing there, looking even more dejected than before. Going straight to bed I climbed in and drew the curtain across the recessed space.

I don't want to speak or see anyone right now. I feel too upset and I don't know when, or how, this is going to end. If by some miracle they manage to trigger the Avatar State, I'm not going to stay there to see it.

I tried my best to change Aang's mind. I thought, stupidly, that he might come round when he saw how scared I was for him, that I certainly care more for him than that stupid General Fong does…

Only now, as I'm writing this, am I realising what I've just told Aang:

'…_for the people who love you,' _I told him.

Well ….it's true. I wasn't thinking when I said that – I was intent only on getting him to stop. Aang's part of my family, and that's what I meant…

I think.

I don't _care_ what I meant! That's not important now: I just want to stop him from doing something stupid!

But he's going ahead anyway.

I guess I expected him to care for me enough to listen to me and stop all this. I guess that's why I feel …well…_offended _as well as apprehensive and scared.

I suppose he doesn't, and I was silly to expect him to. Perhaps _my_ reasons are selfish. The chance at stopping the Fire Lord, slim though it is, is far more important than either of our feelings and opinions about it, and that's what Aang was trying to tell me.

Sokka has just come in, and I'd better blow out the lantern and stop writing.

**144 th day of our journey. We have left General Fong's Fortress. I'm writing this on Appa as we head in a south-easterly direction, towards Omashu. Our departure was not as happy an occasion as our arrival. **

**General Fong realised from the Avatar's words, that the Avatar State could only be triggered when he was in genuine danger, and he therefore tried to recreate that situation by attacking Aang. As he and his soldiers set upon the Avatar, Sokka and I tried to help him, but General Fong, obsessed with his plan to harness the Avatar's power, further exacerbated Aang's distress by attacking us: he caused the earth beneath me to swallow me up, an earthbending move that buried me alive.**

**This **_**did**_** trigger the Avatar state, and in the ensuing chaos, most of the Fortress was severely damaged and many of the men and their ostrich-horses injured. In the end, Sokka knocked out the General and we refused any further help or escort from his men. We will go to Omashu alone.**

When I woke up, it was late morning. I couldn't get to sleep the previous night, for I kept going over and over my conversation with Aang. My curtains were drawn, but eventually, he come noiselessly in and sat down in his bed, for I heard the rustling of the bedclothes. It was a long time later, when all was silent, that I finally managed to fall asleep out of sheer tiredness. It was a disturbed night, and I thought I heard Sokka and Aang talking at one time, but was too tired to join in.

When I woke up, it was late morning. Neither Aang nor Sokka were in there. The memory of the previous day came flooding back and something inside me trembled nervously as I dressed, remembering that I had told Aang I would not be part of any more 'Avatar state' antics, and that, even more importantly perhaps, I had unwittingly betrayed what had been gnawing away at the back of my mind ever since we left the North Pole ... or even before, for that matter: that I cared for him more deeply than I was willing to let on.

I don't know what he thought of my words...

I hardly know myself. I gave a sigh of exasperation as I found my thoughts going round in circles again in my head as they had done the previous night. I took my time getting dressed, knowing there was nothing much to do for I did not intend going out of my room. It was so frustrating: I could have been teaching Aang waterbending, instead of wasting time...

I was mentally cursing General Fong and his stupid military ambitions when I first felt the ground shake. Worried, I sat up in bed. More shaking, accompanied by crashing noises... it was nothing like the noise of the fireworks 'surprise' either. It sounded like earthbending on a large scale – similar to what we had seen at King Bumi's training arena.

I knew I said I wouldn't go, but I couldn't let anything happen to Aang either. Perhaps General Fong had come up with some really crazy idea. I hurried out of our room only to meet Sokka running down the flight of steps at the base of the tower to the Fortress grounds, where the sound was coming from.

'The General's gone crazy,' he panted, 'He's trying to force Aang into the Avatar state!'

Earthbending soldiers were lined up in disciplined rows, attacking Aang with giant circular stones. Some of them were mounted on Ostrich-horses, carrying spears aimed at Aang, who was flitting across the space, dodging them.

My fears of yesterday had been well-founded: General Fong was re-creating a genuine battle to trigger the Avatar State. From the aggressiveness of the attack, I knew he might very well succeed.

Sokka and I ran to defend Aang, but I knew at the back of my mind, that it was going to be nearly impossible: we were vastly outnumbered: and these men were highly-trained soldiers and benders, not some rag-tag bunch of pirates or civilians!

I managed to disarm and dismount one of the soldiers, but what happened next was something I totally did not expect. General Fong suddenly turned his attention to _me_! His men formed a V-shaped wall around me, earthbending the giant stone discs in a wedge shape. I was trapped at the bottom of it.

'Maybe you can avoid me,' General Fong shouted at Aang 'but _she_ can't!'

I felt a rising wave of fury at this man, as I realised what he was doing. How could he use me to taunt Aang? But I wasn't about to give up without a fight!

However, I underestimated the General's earth bending powers ( not knowing too many earthbenders, or their art): he had good reflexes and turned my whiplash into mud simply by earthbending dirt from the training grounds into the water.

Then, before I realised what happening, I was sinking into the ground, losing my balance: it was as though the ground had turned to quicksand: but denser than what I would've imagined quicksand to be.

'I can't move!' I yelled, sinking to my knees.

I struggled ineffectually: it was as though my feet were encased in clay. Battling a rising panic, I looked up.

'Don't hurt her!' Aang had stopped running and was looking at General Fong angrily.

What was Fong _playing at!_? Both Sokka and Aang attacked the General, but he withstood them. At that moment, I sank to my waist. I was desperately trying not to panic, but the helplessness of not being able to move, of not being able to _help,_ was getting to me.

Aang had given up all pretence of fighting: he had run to the General, grabbing his arm.

**'**Stop this! You have to let her go'.

But Fong's hard face seemed to be carved out of stone, and it was set in angry, determined lines:

'You could save her if you were in the Avatar State,' he said, savagely.

My heart sank. Aang had escaped his attacking men, so he was using _me_ as bait to trigger Aang's Avatar state. Aang glanced in my direction, his expression horrified and desperate.

I wanted to resist. I wanted to do something – _anything _– to get out of there. I didn't want Aang to have to plead with that brute of a general! But the inexorable pressure bore down on my body and I sank a few inches more. My rage was slowly turning into a primeval fear as I struggled to breathe, due to the weight pressing in on my chest.

Looking up one last time at Aang, the fear I was struggling to hide must have shown in my eyes, because Aang clung to the General's arm desperately:

'I'm trying... I'm trying!' he choked out, tears in his eyes.

Seeing that was the last straw for me.

I knew then, as Aang did, that this man would stop at nothing: he was going to kill me in a misguided attempt to trigger the Avatar State. In one chill, cold, moment, I realised that it was all over for me and any shreds of resistance or reason flew out of my head.

'Aang, I'm sinking,' I shouted, close to tears myself.

Then I sank further down, and terror blinded me, for only my head was above ground: I screamed and pleaded, the earth tightening around my chest, but Fong's mocking voice showed no sign of pity, and, when I saw Aang in despair at Fong's feet, I knew it was over.

'You don't have to _do_ this!' Aang cried.

I don't know what General Fong answered, for at that moment everything went black and silent. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move and there was a distant muffled sound in my ears. I thought I was fainting from shock, but there was a strange vibration in the earth surrounding my body, that seemed to be getting stronger, as did the muffled sound. I struggled not to lose consciousness, but I knew it was a losing battle: my lungs were screaming for air and sooner or later, I'd give in. Vaguely, as my senses became fuzzier, I wondered what it would feel like to drown in earth: _buried alive_. There were so many things I wanted to do, so many things left unsaid... Aang would never know that I started to think of him as more than just a friend... and he'd feel guilty about my death: his desperate tears would be the last thing my dying eyes had seen. But I was too young to die ... then again: perhaps I could see my mother again, somehow, somewhere...the spirit world is a mysterious place. But Sokka and Aang still need me, and Dad... well, Dad never needed me as much as I needed him.

These thoughts chased each other disjointedly in my head, becoming slower and more incoherent, as it became more difficult to focus, as the dusty earth pressed against my lips, my eyelids ...

Suddenly I felt the earth around me heave and press against me, and I was pushed upwards. Startled out of my resolve not to breathe in, I opened my mouth and sucked in a mouthful of dirt, instead of the air my lungs so desperately craved. However, the next instance, as I coughed reflexively, I was breathing in blessed, sweet air!

Air that buffeted me and knocked me to my knees: a gale-force wind that screamed and whistled around me even more loudly compared to the silence of a second before. I struggled to get my bearings as bright daylight assaulted my eyes and I realised I was not dead but had been earthbended by Fong back to the surface. I couldn't have been under for more than half a minute, but I coughed and blinked, breathing deeply to recover from the brink of a dead faint.

The screaming fury of the earth-laden wind was familiar: looking up, I saw Aang at the top of a swirling dirt vortex, and he was in the Avatar State!

With a shiver of dread I saw that his expression, unlike other times, was not merely grim and other-worldly: it was the expression I had seen only once before: at the Southern Air Temple, when he had discovered that Monk Gyatso and the others had been killed! It was what I had been dreading, what I had been scared of seeing again!

Strangely enough though, even as the howling rage of the dirt hurricane whirled around us, even as the noise reached an unbelievable pitch, and I saw soldiers and men running and limping for cover; even as General Fong took a fearful step backwards, realising his stupidity only too late; I knew that somewhere, somehow, beneath the incandescent rage and the personality change, there was _Aang_. It didn't scare me as much as it had the first time. I knew now, that _I_ had been the cause of this: it was Aang, not the Avatar state, that was hurt and in pain ….

Aang thought me dead!

Yet even as I realised this, I thought I'd seen the merest hint of a change in Aang's strange expression. Next instant, there was an explosion of sound as the vortex collapsed in on itself and a blast of earth aimed at General Fong blew clean off his feet : the dust cloud expanded and I dove for cover, my heart thudding in my chest as broken stones dirt and other debris flew past at deadly speed. Huge stone discs whistled over my head, as though they were nothing more than pebbles and I could hear men shouting and ostrich-horses screaming from amid the huge dust cloud. The ground beneath me heaved and strained like a live thing, and I was momentarily blinded and choked by the debris.

When it finally cleared, I saw that the whole base had been practically destroyed by the blast of whirling earth Aang had unleashed. Aang was standing on the ground, surrounded by a sphere of fast-whirling air, his eyes and tattoos still glowing, but the deadly rage in his eyes was gone, replaced by an expressionless mask.

Even as I got to my feet, the glow subsided and he slumped forwards, drained, and fell onto his knees. As I ran up to him, I could see him looking astounded at the destruction all around: not one building was in one piece, and in the relative silence of the aftermath, the groans of injured men and beasts could be heard. Aang pushed himself back to a sitting position as I arrived and knelt by his side, his face a weary mask of shock and remorse. I put my arms around him and hugged him tight, letting him know I was still alive in spite of Fong's crazy attempts.

'I'm sorry, Katara,' he whispered, looking pale and wan, 'I hope you never have to see me like that again.'

'I should've come. Avatar state or not, I should've been there for you, today' I whispered, hugging him tighter, trying to tell him, without words, that I _was _still there for him now.

Then believe it or not, General Fong came up, pleased at what he had done and eager to set off to the Fire Nation with Aang in tow. What does he expect to do: attack Aang or me every time he wants to trigger the Avatar State? Then Sokka rode up behind him on an Ostrich horse and knocked the General stone cold: simple but effective.

'Anybody got a problem with that?' my brother asked, belligerently.

None did. Apparently the soldiers, too, have had it with General Fong's plans: the brief glimpse of what the uncontrolled Avatar state can do has opened their eyes: none of them want to experiment with that kind of power while on the way to invade the Fire Nation.

We refused the escort to Omashu and as soon as I had packed our stuff, we left. I didn't want to wait around for General Fong to come round. Besides, I had other reasons for putting some distance between us and the Fortress.

'The Infirmary wasn't too damaged,' Aang said, twisting round from his seat on Appa's head to see the Fortress we were leaving behind us.

He still looked pale and hadn't spoken much since we left, but I knew what was on his mind. While I packed he had spent the time going round the fortress assessing the damage, (or beating himself on the head with it, as my brother so succinctly put it). He was met with quite a few disgruntled expressions from the earth benders in the barracks. Many still did not know Fong had forced him into it, and thought he was an ungrateful brat: repaying their hospitality by destroying their fortress.

This attitude didn't help Aang at all. He already felt guilty at the destruction he wreaked when in the Avatar state.

'Nah, 'twas at the back,' Sokka said 'you smashed the place up real well, though.'

'Yeah. I didn't mean to...I think.'

'Quit worrying, arrow-boy. No-one died this time, did they?' Sokka replied baldly.

'_Sokka!_' I glared at my brother.

'What? _They_ attacked Aang first, didn't they? They deserved it.'

'They were _ordered_ to attack, Sokka,' Aang replied.

'Yeah, well. They should't've! Fong went overboard with his invasion ideas: they know that now! Still – they gave us plenty of supplies though,' Sokka added, eyeing the huge bundle tied to the back of the sadly smugly.

'Anything to get rid of us, I guess,' Aang said, ruefully.

'They're earthbenders, Aang. They'll rebuild the place in no time,' I comforted 'No-one was seriously injured, and, as Sokka said, I think none of the soldiers were too eager about the invasion plan.'

'There're not enough soldiers' my brother agreed, 'It's the only fortress from where to launch an attack on the Fire Nation, but still, you gotta have outside help and a good strategy…'

'Yeah. Not a half-baked Avatar who doesn't know what he's doing,' Aang gave one last look at the receding tower of the fortress then turned round and pulled the reins so that Appa turned to head in a south-easterly direction. I exchanged a look with Sokka.

'I think I know what you should be doing now' I said softly, leaning over the saddle with an encouraging smile.

''Study, practice and discipline'' Aang retorted, quoting my words with a wry smile 'You were right, Katara.'

'There're some really great rivers on the way to Omashu,' I said 'And the weather's really warm – practising waterbending won't even _seem_ like studying!'

Aang brightened up considerably then. Even as I'm writing this, the mood in our small party has lightened as we head towards Omashu. It's back to being 'us three' again and now there's an unspoken agreement that it's better this way! From now on, we have to be wary of any other military personnel with big ideas, especially since the news of Aang's powers has spread far and wide. Very few people alive today know or understand the Avatar state, and until Aang has learnt more, I want to keep anyone from thinking they can exploit it.

I hope that we can put all that happened back at the Fortress behind us. After the scenes of horror during the siege of the North, we really didn't need the useless, wanton destruction General Fong forced upon Aang. Until we reach Omashu, I want Aang to relax a bit and focus on mastering waterbending – no more big, crazy plans none of us are ready for yet.

We still have a few days before we reach that city and Aang needs to be in the right frame of mind to tackle earth-bending with Bumi: it's the only element he has never yet tried to bend.

As for me, after the near-death experience ( I don't care if Fong said he never meant it: it seemed real enough to me at the time), the warm spring air and smell of cherry-blossom reaching us even here on Appa's saddle makes me feel born anew, and I'm looking forward to the next few days.


	26. Chapter 26

**147 th day of our journey. We have been travelling for a few days in a south easterly direction, heading towards Omashu. Sokka says we should not take the fastest or most direct route, because after the humiliating defeat of the Fire Nation fleet up north, Fire Lord Ozai would have alerted his troops all over the Earth Kingdom to be on the look-out – and, as they had done at the North Pole, they are now probably aware that the Avatar will seek to learn to bend the next element: Earth. **

**Omashu is a likely candidate for an earthbending teacher, since it's a city that has resisted the Fire Nation for so long, therefore the major roads leading to that city will be watching out for our approach. **

**We're quite confident in out-smarting the Fire Nation soldiers however: that's why we've been meandering around the countryside for some time now, never staying long in one spot and keeping away from main thoroughfares and the great rivers fed by the waters from the Kolau Mountains. **

**Instead, we've been taking advantage of the mild spring weather in this part of the Earth Kingdom and staying near smaller streams and water courses so that the Avatar can practise and improve his waterbending skills. **

**Today's tactic of actually **_**standing**_** in the water has proved effective.**

The scent of flowers is so amazing – they're everywhere – they grow abundantly in the meadows and plains on the high hills leading to the Kolau mountain range, even at the edge of the watercourses between these high hills where we've set up camp for the night...

I had read about how this happens in springtime in the Earth Kingdom and I've seen many flowers on my travels during winter, but I had never experienced anything as widespread and luscious as this.

'Are you still sniffing those things?' Sokka emerged, standing knee-deep in water from behind some large boulders at the river bank, holding a makeshift spear and some river fish.

I pulled away from the clump of pink flowers I had buried my face in.

'Their smell is _awesome_!' I enthused.

Sokka rolled his eyes and waded closer to where I was sitting by the river bank.

'Those things've turned your head!' he retorted with a grimace, 'Are you sure the smell's not poisonous or something?'

'Sokka!'

'Well, you keep smiling at nothing, and sitting in the middle of flowers ...after all, what good are they? You can't eat 'em...'

'They don't have to be _useful._ They just ..._are._ Ugh! It's no use trying to explain to you- you're the most practical, insensitive, unromantic –!'

'Ah – so _romance_ is at the bottom of this!'

'No, it isn't! I just like flowers.'

But my brother's grin was widening from ear to ear, and to my mortification, I felt myself blushing, because there was a grain of truth in what he said. Since we were travelling alone again and not having to contend with crazy, power-hungry earthbending generals, we had all relaxed a bit, and I was concentrating on teaching Aang water bending.

As I had suspected, Aang had thrown himself heart and soul into the lessons and there was none of the clowning about he had done back at the North Pole. In these few days, I had already taught him twice as much as Master Pakku had done during all the time we spent at the North Pole. Aang was focused, compliant, and eager to learn, and I found myself considering these waterbending lessons as the best part of the day.

I also found myself thinking more and more often about things I had promised myself I would steer clear from...

But it was difficult to remember such promises when Aang's eager gray eyes followed every move I made so admiringly, so -

'Yeah, yeah, whatever. Have you got the pot ready? And where's Aang?' my brother cut across my thoughts as he climbed out of the water and joined me on the grassy riverbank.

'He's ready. I – I mean the _pot'_s ready. Aang's at the top of that hill getting some berries ...' I replied confusedly, reddening some more 'I'm waiting for him here to start our practise.'

'Then shouldn't you get dressed? You're in your Sarashi...'

'Why, isn't that what you're wearing?'

Sokka, unabashed, glanced down at his skimpy loin-cloth.

'That's different, I'm a guy!'

'Well, it's darn hot in this part of the Earth Kingdom,' I retorted angrily, stung by his tone, 'so I've been swimming. Besides, what I gotta teach Aang today is better taught _in_ the water, not standing next to it.'

'Okay, okay –I thought you'd be more reserved or something. I'm your brother, but Aang-'

'I know who Aang is!'

'Yeah, well... Aang's just Aang, I guess.'

'Someone say my name?'

Aang appeared suddenly from the thicket of trees just beyond the bed of wild flowers. Seeing us standing there he stopped suddenly, transfixed. I realised he was staring at me. _Oh, shoot._

'Hey, Aang, Miss skimpy-sarashi here wants to go swimming,' Sokka said, entirely oblivious to the fact that my face was fiery red, now. 'It's not something we often do at the South Pole –'

'No, back home we learn to swim for survival', I said, glaring at Sokka to regain my composure, 'But here, Earth Kingdom girls do it for _fun_, so quit bothering me, Sokka! Besides, that's not what I had in mind for Aang.'

'You d-didn't? Uh... what d'you have in mind then?' Aang's face was flushed as he gave me a fleeting glance, then looked down determinedly at his shoes.

I didn't know what to make of his expression – had I scandalised the young monk? After all, I can't afford proper swimming clothes.

My blush deepened, but I tried to speak casually:

'We're going to practise waterbending right in the water: it'll be much better to actually be surrounded by water like we were at the North Pole. Even better, for like this you can actually _feel_ the water.'

'Well, while you two are splashing about here, I'm off to clean this fish. Hey, Aang, can I have some of your berries?'

My brother, as usual, noticed nothing. With me, he rarely does. This time, however, I was thankful for his complete obliviousness.

'Sure, Sokka, help yourself. They're in my bag.'

While Aang was speaking, I slipped into the water, the gentle current calming my beating heart: I was a Master Waterbender and I knew what I was doing. What I was dressed in did not matter as much as the task at hand.

I tried to tell myself that, but couldn't help feeling a tiny bit underdressed: I suppose, if I had gone to the crowded beaches the well-to-do go to every summer, running about semi-naked mightn't have been such a big deal, but as Sokka said, back home we tend to be over-dressed rather than underdressed, and perhaps old Pakak's prudishness back home might have rubbed off on me a little...

I had absent-mindedly waterbended a curtain of water around me like a transparent skirt. Was Aang shocked by my attire? Did he, like my brother, think it was unbecoming of me to run around half-naked?

I looked up from my waterbending at that moment to see the young Avatar looking at me with a strange expression – but it wasn't disapproving.

Encouraged, I let the water fall, gave him a nervous smile, and said:

'Take off your shoes and come to the water, you'll understand what I mean.'

He blinked, swallowed drily, then bent down to take off his shoes.

'Look – till now we've always been trying waterbending from shore. But at the Poles where snow, sea and ice surround you, bending comes much easier, so I figured if we _stood_ in the water – it's warm enough – you'll learn faster. Especially what you need to learn today. The fact that you can feel the water against your skin will help.'

Aang looked down at his feet beneath the surface of the water thoughtfully. 'Sounds like a great idea.'

'Ok, so let's get down to business. Yesterday, we practised the double water whip. Today, we're going with twice that number: two on either side...'

I demonstrated, uncomfortably aware that Aang's eyes were on me, not on the water whips. However, when his turn came, he perfectly waterbended two water whips on either side of him, after only a few tries.

'Now it's time for some defensive tactics,' I said, 'and this time, you won't have the advantage of knowing where my attack will come from, because I'm not confined to the shore line.'

I took off at a run, zigzagging here and there in the shallow water, all around him, and sending shards of ice in his direction. That would focus his attention on the task at hand! But it only served to show that he was not, in fact, paying quite as much attention as usual. Finding the ice shards inches away from him, he reacted instinctively and with a blast of air sent them flying away from him.

'Sorry,' he said, sheepishly.

'Well, at least your reactions are as quick as ever,' I encouraged.

Next time round, however, he deflected the ice shards easily, the water tendrils catching and re-directing my weapons harmlessly to one side.

'Impressive,' I said, 'Now I'm gonna step up the action a bit.'

I knew I had to. In case of multi-directional attack, the final form of this defence, the Octopus Form, protected one from all angles, so he had to get used to thinking fast, as well as co-ordinate the movements of the water whips. It takes a lot of practice, for its like having eight arm extensions.

At first, Aang managed to get all the ice shards I threw at him, but in a moment of distraction, several made it through his defence and embedded themselves in his cape. I saw him grimace.

It was a bit later that I noticed the blood reddening his shirt.

'Aang, you're bleeding!'

'Hmmm? What?'

I ran up to him, concerned. Accidents were common during this kind of training. It was inevitable, and we usually ignored minor bruises and grazes, but this looked serious, for Aang's shirt was stained red all the way down his arm.

'Take your shirt off and let's see.'

'It's nothing, Katara. Just a scratch.'

'It can't be just a scratch. Look at you! Don't you feel it?'

'The monks taught me how to ignore pain,' he shrugged, 'especially if there are more important things to focus on.'

'Well, this is just a training session, there's nothing important to focus on right now…'

'Yeah, well, – '

'So c'mon, let's see.'

He peeled his shirt off and I saw there was a deep gash on his upper arm and several minor graze wounds. How could he ignore this kind of pain? Sokka would be howling dolefully for attention if he knew he could get away with it. I felt bad knowing that I had done that.

'I'm sorry I hurt you, Aang,' I murmured softly, examining the wound on his arm, 'Back at the North Pole we wore extra thick parkas when trying out this particular form of waterbending, because it's one of the most difficult….'

Aang didn't answer, and I glanced up.

He was gazing at me quietly, his gray eyes large with a kind of wonderment, as though this was not something he expected or was used to. It reminded me forcibly of when he was sick with a feverish cold and was surprised when I insisted on tending him. He certainly had a tough upbringing with the monks – at least as regards these small gestures of kindness when sick or hurt. Perhaps, there being no women at the air temple, there was a no-nonsense approach to minor ailments.

'I need to heal this Aang, or you'll be left with a scar. Sit down here.'

He obediently sat down on a flat stone on the river bank, and I knelt down in the water by his side, bending some water to wash away the blood. Being as gentle as I could, I examined the wound again. It was a clean cut, stretching from his upper arm just above the point where the blue tattoo curved around his arm towards his shoulders. Thankfully, though several inches long, it was not too deep: the water mixing with blood had made it appear far worse. Placing my hands in the water again I felt the positive energy flow down my arms and to the water, then back again, water adhering in glowing silvery gloves to my hands, They were extra bright in my eagerness to heal, for I hated the idea that I had harmed Aang, even though unintentionally.

Focussing all my energy into the water around my hands I gently applied its cool, healing touch to the wound, so that the bleeding stopped. Then I concentrated on the margins, like Yagoda taught me, so that they would knit in perfect alignment, and there would be no scarring. I wanted to make no mistakes – this was for Aang, and if I could show him, with this small kindness, that ...well, that I _cared_...

It did not take long before the wound healed, and even the pinkish line of re-marginalisation faded to nothing. Aang's skin was cool and smooth to the touch as I gently wiped the remnants of blood away. There was not even the barest sign of inflammation, and beneath my fingers, the muscles of his arm were taut and undamaged. Aang's surprisingly muscular for someone so young and of such slender build … well, not _muscular_ exactly, but there is not an ounce of extra fat on him, and he seems to be made of flesh, muscle and bone bound together with this incredible, irrepressible, limitless energy...

I looked up and found myself staring at Aang who was looking down at me with an odd expression on his face – not in wonder anymore, but something else ...

There was a strange, warm light in those clear gray eyes, that made my heart beat faster and I was suddenly very much aware of how close we were – that I was kneeling by his side, my hand still lightly resting on his arm.

It is amazing what can pass through a look that lasts for no longer than the space of a heartbeat...

It lasted no longer that, for I jumped up quickly and waded back to the middle of the river putting some distance between us, and giving myself the time to quell the rapid beating of my heart. When I turned round to face Aang, I hoped my face did not betray the turmoil of emotions inside me. He was standing at the river's edge, as though not sure what had just happened.

Well, I wasn't sure either. I felt strangely terrified yet elated at the same time. A very small voice at the back of my mind was reminding me of promises I had made to myself.

'Are you ready to try again?' I asked, in a rather shaky voice.

Aang nodded, apparently not trusting himself to speak either.

A second later he had four slender waterwhips twisting sinuously on either side of him and he took on a defensive stance.

He took out every single ice shard I threw at him with ease. I had started easy, the idea of having hurt him still fresh in my mind, but even when I stepped up the action, Aang defended himself perfectly: each slender whip moving purposely accurately, yet independently of each other one.

It was several hours later that I called a halt. I think we both needed the exercise.

'That was great, Aang,' I panted 'a few more practise sessions and you'll be ready to try the full Octopus Form.'

'Are you two done splashing around yet?' Sokka reappeared further down the river bank, 'I think I overcooked the fish...'

'Coming, Sokka.'

I was quite calm, and the exercise helped focus my mind elsewhere, but now, as I write this by the light of the campfire, I can't help wondering about what happened earlier. For a split second, as I knelt by Aang's side in the water, the thought crossed my mind that he wanted to kiss me! And even now, as it did then, the thought of it sends tiny shivers of both excitement and terror down my spine. I could be mistaken of course – perhaps he was thinking nothing of the sort, and yet I'm almost sure it wasn't just the warmth of gratitude that I saw in his eyes!

I had almost been kissed before, and I _do_ remember being nervous, but I was eagerly curious, more than anything else, and I remember waiting in anticipation ... But when Jet almost kissed me, there was none of the heart-stopping, terrified, excitement that sent me running away from Aang earlier. Of course, I can't compare Jet with Aang. Jet's a heartless, manipulative, smooth-talker, and Aang is ...well, Aang is infinitely more precious to me, for one thing. If I'm starting to like him more than as a friend, then why should that scare me? Was it the intensity of my own reaction that terrified me, or the fact that it may not be reciprocated?

Sokka's asleep – spread-eagled across his sleeping mat in the relative warmth of these springtime nights. Aang's some way off upriver, meditating, even though it's quite late.

I could sense a bit of awkwardness all evening between us- well, not awkwardness, really – more like an _awareness_ of each other that is different from usual. I keep telling myself that nothing happened, that it's all in my imagination, that it was just simple gratitude on Aang's part...

But my heart keeps telling me otherwise... the look in Aang's eyes was not simple gratitude, and, in fact, it was not simple at all.

And what if Aang likes me more than a friend or a surrogate sister? Why does the idea terrify me so much?

_Why did I secretly _want _Aang to kiss me earlier today?_

I can see him coming now, so I'd better put this book away: the ink-bright words are shining guiltily up at me from the pages and even the firelight won't be able to disguise the red flush on my cheeks.

**151 st** **day of our journey. The coniferous forest is getting sparser now, as we approach the Kolau mountain range, so there is less cover for us. Several times, we came across the remnants of Fire Nation campsites. They must be aware we might try and reach Omashu.**

**The Avatar is making good progress with his training. He is very focussed and determined to learn, so that our practise sessions always go smoothly. We will have to cover a lot of waterbending now, since, once in Omashu, he will have to focus more on learning the earth bending. **

**I think he is nearly ready to try one of the most difficult of waterbending forms – the Octopus Form, where quick-thinking and co-ordination are of utmost importance. **

**Tomorrow we'll see.**

Both defensive and offensive forms of water bending are important, of course – Aang has to learn all of them and I have made it my priority to teach him these forms. However, of all our daily training sessions, of all the long hours of practise, my favourite waterbending form is the one we start off with every morning at dawn.

It does not last longer than an hour and we use it as a sort of warm-up session before the real training. They are nothing but simple water bending exercises, really – like Master Pakku and his students had demonstrated during the feast in our honour the day we arrived at the North Pole.

We found some of the forms and techniques in the waterbending scrolls Master Pakku had given Aang the day we parted. I've put my own waterbending scroll – the one I had taken from the Pirates - in the ornate wooden box with the rest of the other scrolls and every evening, after writing in this book, I go through them, getting ideas and hints on how to teach Aang waterbending and even improve my own. In particular, soon after we left General Fong's fortress, I've come across these exercises.

There is nothing either defensive or offensive about them. They cannot really be used significantly in any attack or defence– they are simply an expression of the sheer joy of bending water – feeling the ebb and flow of currents, both natural and created, that shape and re-shape the water in a myriad different ways.

These simple exercises can have a calm, soothing effect, as reflected in the liquid movements of the waterbender as he or she bends the water, mesmerised by its delicate, fragile, transparency; but they can also gather the water to terrifying, crashing waves of destruction to mirror a waterbender's rage – or even huge, translucent curtains to impress and excite - or long, caressing tendrils that reach out imploringly to another... Water is like a live thing, malleable, and there are a million forms, a million emotions, that waterbending allows you to give expression to.

In these few short days, and despite all my previous fiery determination to learn, in particular, the fighting styles for defensive and attack purposes, waterbending for its own sake alone has become my favourite form of waterbending. It is creative, beautiful, and can tie in with my emotions as nothing else can: expressing and controlling them both.

'Waterbending is like dancing with water,' I told Aang the first time we tried these exercises together, 'You just have to feel it and move as it moves; flow as it flows, until you forget yourself... you forget everything, and it's just you and the water dancing together.'

Aang understood what I meant.

His waterbending skills have improved in leaps and bounds since we left General Fong's fortress. And we now always carry out our early morning routine while standing in the water in the middle of a stream, river or lake. Aang has abandoned his shoes and shirt during these exercises and strips down to his windpants, and I stay in my sarashi. It is an incredible feeling of freedom to be able to do this. It's so much better – nothing beats feeling the water curl around your bare feet, caressing your skin and begging to be lifted and played with.( It is certainly nothing I can emulate back at the cold frozen Poles!)

So, for many days now at dawn, Aang and I waterbend together, twisting and swirling strands of water back and forth between us, slowly at first: thin, shining tendrils of water that snake their way sinuously around both of us in a simple harmonious motion; then faster, the pace picking up so that the water swings thicker and faster between us, gathering speed and energy, then we divide the long strands, again and again, only to allow them to join together again without once stopping the back and forth movement, like an endless ebb and flow of tides.

At first, I used to set the pace and take the lead in these exercises, but as Aang got better and better, there was no need to either lead or follow – Aang has learnt every move, every turn, every nuance of stance and form of these exercises.

He moves with the natural grace of an airbender, quickly mastering the light, fluid movements of waterbending. I can't help but admire how naturally and easily he has taken to bending this element.

If I hadn't been such an idiot when we had first discovered the waterbending scroll, he mightn't have been so reluctant to study waterbending at the North Pole, and we could've have been doing this earlier.

By 'this' I mean our early morning warm-up exercises. They have become my favourite part of the day.

Even when I practise alone, I love it, but with Aang by my side, it's a hundred times better.

There have been many occasions when I waterbended with Aang, but never at this level of skill. It is almost like a dance ...with the water, of course, but also with each other.

Neither of us ever mentioned the incident of last time, when I healed his arm. Aang is back to his usual cheery self, and I'm careful – very careful - not to let ANYTHING interfere with the real waterbending training.

Today's early morning routine was one of the best yet. We were both in top form, the early morning chill just before dawn ensuring immediate alertness. The perfume of a myriad sleepy flowers opening up to the dawn filled the air. The wide stream we stood in babbled quietly to itself along its banks and whispered gently against our skins as we stood knee-deep in the deepest part of it. Only this and the early morning birdsong distrurbed the silence of the spring morning.

Aang nodded as a signal that he was ready. I think there was an unspoken agreement that there was nobody, and nothing else, but the two of us.

This morning, however, I decided we would not follow any set pattern of exercises.

'Let's just let the water guide us,' I told him 'No set moves to follow, and we'll see what happens. I'll start.'

It was something we had never done before. In fact, even back at the North Pole, these type of waterbending sessions were done according to a pre-set pattern agreed upon by the master and his students prior to their start, otherwise the result might be chaotic.

So I don't know what inspired me say that we'd be doing 'freestyle' waterbending... Perhaps it was just the musical sound of the water flowing beneath me, perhaps it was the fading crescent of the moon or the magical quality of the world waking up at dawn that made me feel anything is possible ...

In any case, Aang nodded once more in agreement at my suggestion, and quietly took his position.

So we circled one another in the shallow water of the wide stream, the only sound the soft splash of our bare feet in the water and the sound of the early morning birdsong,

I started first, trailing a thin stream of water that Aang caught and returned, with a slightly higher momentum, to me.

I divided it into two, circling them around my arms and then sending them spiralling back at Aang, who, with hands outstretched, bended the water in a curve around his shoulders and arms, the shining blue transparency of the water mimicking the arrows tattooed there.

And so it went on, faster and faster: he anticipated my moves and I, his, so that we moved in easy synchronicity, our movements fluid and graceful. There was no hint of chaos or in- coordination.

Not following any set pattern of exercises yet performing so surprisingly well proved rewarding, and, at the same time, exhilarating. It was just me, Aang and the water dancing between us.

We brought the exercise to a halt with a 12-foot curtain of shimmering water which we raised between us. The early morning sun glinted on its surface as we faced each other on either side of it, hands outstretched towards each other, almost touching through the transparent screen. Above our heads and on either side of us water veered off in frozen droplets around us.

'You were right, Katara,' Aang said, his figure distorted slightly by the water curtain 'You just have to feel the flow of the water, let it lead you, and ...and it was just us...'

'... and the water.'

'And the water,' he agreed, but his eyes, even through the water screen, were shining.

I let the curtain of water fall with a splash between us and the droplets fell back in the river with a tinkling, brittle, sound. I was feeling the familiar stab of a rising panic.

'We should move on to some real practice now,' I said, turning and walking away suddenly.

'This _was_ real practice.' Aang sounded disappointed 'I thought we did great.'

'Of course, Aang. Today's practice was...' I wanted to say: Awesome, heart stopping, wonderful, and a hundred other superlatives, but all that came out was: '...good.'

The word fell flatly between us and Aang did not answer. I slowed down and turned around. He was standing midstream, looking puzzled and crestfallen. I wanted to tell him that my heart was still in a flutter, that it had been amazing; that it was ( and had been for many days now) the highlight of my day, but instead I kept my voice level and said:

'You know what I mean, Aang: these are just warming-up exercises, the real important stuff is defensive techniques; the fighting stances–'

'Yeah, yeah, I know – Omashu's round the corner and we won't have time for waterbending there,' he cut across me rather sharply. 'I _know._'

I bit my lip. Why was I being such a jerk?

But for a moment I had panicked- I thought that even through the water curtain he could see what I don't think I'm willing to show. Gran Gran always told me that sometimes I'm just too impulsive, so now I'm afraid of betraying what I feel – what if I'm wrong? That would make things really awkward: look at Iluak and Onartak on board the ship: not speaking to each other, unable to be either lovers or friends, but uncomfortably forced into each other's close company nonetheless.

I don't want that.

Not to mention I'd be heartbroken and angry at myself – Aang's friendship is something I don't want to lose, and if I'm wrong about this, that friendship will never be the same again.

Perhaps I'm scared to push it. Perhaps I'm afraid of finding out the truth. Perhaps even Aang doesn't really know himself. He's still very young – we both are. Perhaps if he feels something for me at all, it's only a passing infatuation.

No – that's terrible! I'd rather have nothing at all, than a 'passing fancy'. I guess Madam Wu's words have had an insidious effect on me, or else it's just me, but I want something more than infatuation (my experience with Jet has more than put me off anything of the sort).

Without another word, Aang moved to the 'real' waterbending techniques, starting with a double water whip. He executed the moves flawlessly and I did not have to correct his stance once, but the spell was broken.

Aang has been relatively quiet all day. I think it's because of the snub this morning. Probably he doesn't know what to make of my behaviour, for sometimes I catch him looking at me with a puzzled look on his face. Not that he's any less friendly towards me, but I sense he is keeping his distance now.

Perhaps it's better this way.

* * *

illustration: greeneyes-17 . deviantart /#/d5ih6t0


	27. Chapter 27

_A/n: this is approx the length of two chapters, but there was no way I could divide it._**  
**

**152 nd day of our journey. Today we set off on the last stretch to Omashu, thinking to reach the city by nightfall by flying over the Kolau Mountains. However, we were discovered and tracked down by Fire Nation Tanks and forced to seek an alternative route.**

**Some Earth Kingdom nomads, whom we had met earlier in the day, suggested we cross the mountains through a legendary secret pass or tunnel. With the Fire Nation on our tracks, we had no choice.**

**We followed the nomads to a large, dark cave set in the mountain side. Above the dark entrance was written **_**'Cave of the Lovers'**_**.**

**It was a difficult journey, for the tunnel was actually a dark labyrinth built by two star-crossed lovers so that they could meet in secret, and, once inside, Appa, who hates enclosed spaces, panicked and caused a landslide. The Avatar saved us all from the falling rocks, but Sokka and the Nomads ended up on one side of the rockfall, and Aang, Appa and I, on the other.**

**Aang and I discovered that the legends about the secret tunnels where true for we found the two lovers' tomb, and, engraved and painted on the wall of the cave, their story. They were the first earthbenders, Oma and Shu and their love ended a long war between their villages and resulted in the founding of one unified city: Omashu.**

**Sokka and the nomads discovered that the tunnels were inhabited by creatures such as Badgermoles and Wolfbats, and the labyrinth consequently kept changing because of the earthbending powers of the Badgermoles.**

**Although we had become separated, we all managed to find our own way out of the tunnels by the day's end. **

**We said goodbye to the nomads and set camp at the foot of the Kolau Mountains. **

**Tomorrow, it will only be a short journey of a few hours to the city of Omashu, our final destination.**

Something has happened in the cave of two lovers! Something that has turned my whole world upside down – something so wonderful that I feel like shouting the news from the top of the next mountain... or else bury it deep inside my heart as a secret that I will take to my grave!

It all started with the Nomads. Earth Kingdom nomads who appeared around mid-morning when all three of us where in the river. Aang and I were practising waterbending and Sokka was... well, Sokka was just lazing about in the water.

We had stopped at a sheltered tributary to the great river, away from any prying Fire Nation eyes and early this morning, during our waterbending exercises, I told Aang he was ready to try out the full Octopus Form.

'Eight is the maximum number of waterwhips that can accurately be controlled,' I explained, 'and yesterday you were up to six, so now –'

'I'm ready to be an Octopus,' Aang grinned, trailing a slender water whip from his right hand and making it curl and uncurl in imitation of an Octopus' tentacle.

'First the warm-up exercises.'

Like yesterday, I had started these waterbending exercises without any set pattern and once again, we went through them smoothly, improvising and yet anticipating each other's moves, so that the water flowed smoothly between us, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes elegant and intricately woven, like transparent lace. In the end, Aang got so good at it that he did not have to look at the water he was bending.

Instead he looked at me.

It was disconcerting, but after my snub of yesterday, Aang was keeping his distance.

Perhaps the water tendrils he bended lingered a split-second longer around my waist than was strictly necessary, perhaps some of them touched my hair caressingly in an accidentally-on-purpose way, I don't know...but at the end of the exercises, he did not comment or expect any praise, but matter-of-factly asked to move on the real training.

He never again alluded to our early morning waterbending routine and how magical it felt. At least _to me_ it felt magical... and this was probably the last of them, for there wouldn't be the time or place for it, once at Omashu.

I was going to miss waterbending with Aang.

As usual, I might have been reading far more into this than was actually there, for Aang appeared completely focussed on learning bending skills and nothing else, but still, it was going to be hard for me to let go of this early morning 'alone time' with the Avatar.

Sokka, who was floating around on a giant leaf wearing nothing much, kept reminding us we were trying to fly to Omashu by nightfall, but I wanted to make our last day of exclusive waterbending last as long as possible.

I think Aang wasn't in too much of a hurry either. But that may have been just because he was intent on learning the final form of the defensive waterbending: eight water whips is a lot to co-ordinate accurately.

However, at one point, when I unthinkingly placed my arms around him to correct his stance, he became very red and flustered.

I pretended I didn't see it. And I pretended to play along when he teasingly sent a 'tentacle' round my leg.

That's when the nomads came. Their music preceded them: a song about falling in love with a travelling girl and when they came into view we saw five people dressed in colourful clothes and playing musical instruments. The one who had been singing introduced himself as Chong. He was accompanied by his wife, Lily, and three other companions, Moku, rotund and jolly, Niu, a dancing girl, and Shing-Fu, skinny and clad in loose purple clothes.

We climbed out of the water and introduced ourselves. I've never met anybody like them: they're so ...different. Not only their colorful appearance, but have a different way of looking at things - they don't seem to worry about anything, other than the here and now. Appa, who was lying on a sandy part of the river bank gave a low growl, thinking we were ready to leave (Appa gets a bit antsy when we've been too long without flying).

As soon as the nomads saw Appa, unlike many others who jump away in fright, they were ecstatic.

'He's so a_dorable_' Lily enthused and she and Niu went up to him to pat him.

Appa, realising we weren't going anywhere soon lay down resignedly on the sand again, submitting to the nomads' patting with good grace.

'Reminds me of a creature we saw in the Northern part of the Earth Kingdom: it was big and furry and lived underground.' Chong said, settling down near Appa and softly strumming his stringed instrument, 'What did you say he is?'

'This is Appa, a Flying Bison,' Aang explained 'But I don't think whatever you saw was a flying Bison: they certainly don't live underground.'

'Yeah – well, it was certainly big: though only the Giant Night Crawler comes anywhere near Appa's size.'

'Nowhere near as friendly, though,' Moku interjected, as he too sat down on the sand near Appa.

I slipped on my clothes. Somehow, these people did not put me in so much unease at my state of undress (though they had sent Sokka scuttling away to put on some clothes). Niu, the dancing girl, had climbed onto Appa's shoulder and was braiding pretty pink flowers in Appa's fur. His large brown eyes peered resignedly from beneath his braided fringe.

'What's a Giant Night Crawler?' Aang asked, interested.

Probably he wanted to ride it.

'It's a huge worm – it comes out in the darkest of nights, rustling heavily through the grass...' Chong strummed his Pipa in an ominous way, 'We came across its slimy path in the forests near the Dandong Lake.'

And Chong started to tell us about their adventures. They had been everywhere, and seen some really amazing things. I was fascinated by these traveller's tales. Aang, being a nomad too, hit it off pretty well with Chong and his companions, although there seem to be some marked differences between the nomadic ways of the Airbenders and these Earth Kingdom travellers. Chong and his group travel aimlessly 'wherever the wind takes us' as Chong put it, but apparently, Air nomads where not so aimless in their travels:

'There was always a reason,' Aang said in a muffled voice as he pulled on his shirt, 'sometimes we transported stuff between the temples, or there were the Bison Polo games, or -'

'Here, wear this,' Niu leaned over from Appa's shoulder and placed a garland of pink flowers on Aang's head, which slipped over his eyes, 'You should look like your pet.'

Actually, he looked like some flower sprite.

'Uh... ' Aang pushed the flowers off his face uncertainly.

'Go on, young arrowhead,' Maku said 'Flowers are nature's gift of perfect beauty.'

Aang shrugged. 'Ok.'

'Flowers are more beautiful than even the most precious jewels,' Lily said, indicating a large lily-flower in her turban.

'Actually, I'm just learning to appreciate springtime,' I said 'There are no flowers where I come from...'

'Let me braid flowers in your hair then,' Lily offered, sitting down on Appa's leg, 'A girl needs nothing but flowers to enhance her natural beauty.'

'She's right, you know,' Chong observed 'My wife looks her best when dressed in nothing more than a flower in her hair. Our love-making then is really ... _wow_!'

I felt a bit embarrassed at the frank statement. I looked up at Chong, but he was completely unabashed. Aang's eyes were wide and very determinedly fixed on his shoes.

Lily smiled at her husband, and, similarly unconcerned, sat down on one of Appa's legs, beckoning me over.

Indeed these nomads are different! But refreshingly so... there is a naive simplicity about them that is heart-warming, and they focus on life's beauty, rather than life's tragedies, and all the crippling worries and concerns that that shackle the rest of us.

Perhaps I should take a leaf from their book. Sometimes I worry too much, and overanalyse everything.

I sat down and let Lily braid yellow crocus-lilies in my hair. The smell of the lilies, the warm spring sun and the nomads' talk about adventures, interspersed with snippets of melodious love songs, sent warm, pleasurable feelings right through me. It was nice to forget, like the nomads, all thoughts of responsibilities and looming difficulties, and concentrate instead on the simple beauty of this spring day.

Lily's hands were deft yet gentle as she braided my hair with flowers, and Aang, on my side, was excitedly discussing travel stories with Chong. It was a blissful few minutes, until we were rudely brought back down to earth by Sokka.

Fully dressed now, he said we should be making a move on. I really think my brother has 'destination fever' or rather, unlike the rest of us, he's not the type to let the beautiful flowers and the stirring notes of a musical instrument go to his head.

However, my conscience (unfortunately, perhaps), is ever-vigilant even when my heart is not, and I had to agree with him. Truthfully, although I found the earth nomads' easygoing life fascinating, earth nomad I am not, nor could ever be. My duties and responsibilities are far too ingrained in my nature for me to ignore, so I told the nomads we needed to get going.

That's when Chong told us about the secret tunnel through the mountains. He sang about a legend as old as earthbending itself: _Two lovers, forbidden from one another... built a path to be together._

But Appa was better than any secret pass, legendary or otherwise. So I said goodbye to the nomads and left, the words of the lover's song still echoing in my head.

Perhaps those words and the beautiful spring weather turned my head, I don't know, but I felt strangely excited as I climbed on Appa, and alive with anticipation... anticipation of _what_ I wasn't really sure. I suppose the nomads' appreciation of life's little pleasures rubbed off on me a little, so I stopped worrying about Omashu and what I had to give up and concentrated more on the 'going' rather than what I would have to do once there. Back in Appa's familiar saddle, with Aang's familiar figure at the bison's' head (and Sokka's even more familiar scowl next to me), it felt good to be setting off on another adventure.

Only what we bumped into wasn't quite what my eager mood had anticipated.

Fireballs.

Lots of them.

Sokka had mentioned the Kolau Mountains might be infested with Fire Nation Soldiers on the lookout for a Flying Bison, but we hadn't quite expected to find so many of them spread so closely together across the whole mountain range.

The stench of the foul-smelling oils that ignited the fireballs was heavy in the air as the catapults pelted us non-stop. Appa veered this way and that, roaring his disapproval as he tried to avoid them. After a many near-misses, we headed back to the gorge where we had set up camp the previous night. This ambush was almost as bad as when we ran the blockade to go to Roku's island!

If the secret pass the nomads mentioned existed it was our only chance to reach Omashu undiscovered. Tired, covered in ash and the stench from those wretched fireballs, we went back to where the nomads were having a noontime rest.

They agreed to show us the way to the secret pass, so after we cleaned up a bit, we set off in the direction of the largest mountain. It was a good two hours walk before we reached its base (we didn't dare fly – Appa's far too recognisable) and on the way, the nomads entertained us with music, dancing and more details about the secret pass. It turned out that the legend also mentioned that the tunnels were actually a cursed labyrinth built by the lovers so that their love would remain secret.

Anyone venturing in would be lost in the caves forever!

Chong did not seem unduly worried about this, but Sokka was becoming increasingly frantic, especially when the nomad led us to an ominous dark opening carved out of the foot of the highest mountain. Above the entrance was written, in an archaic script: 'Cave of the Lovers'.

I'm not as upset as Sokka when it comes to facing legendary places with inexplicable and unknowable things inside, and Lily mentioned that according to the legend, there _was_ a way of getting through the tunnels:

'All you have to do is trust in love,' she said.

'The curse says that only those who trust in love can make it through the caves,' Chong explained, 'Otherwise you'll be trapped in them forever'.

'And die,' Lily added, artlessly.

I frowned. How far was this legend true? Chong and Lily did not seem very worried, but I wished they'd be a bit more _precise_ in explaining exactly how trusting in love was supposed to see you through the caves. Then Maku noticed the dark smoke curling in the distance.

The Fire Nation had tracked us down!

We were trapped between a potentially deadly labyrinth and an even deadlier Fire Nation contingent.

'So all you need is to trust in love to get through these caves?' I heard Aang ask Chong behind me.

'That is correct, Master Arrowhead.'

I don't know what Aang found so reliable in Chong's answer, but after a moment's hesitation I heard him say firmly: 'We can make it.'

Next instant, Sokka was urging everybody into the cave for the sound of the Fire Nation tanks was getting closer.

It was an enormous cavern, guarded by two 100-foot high statues of fierce warrior spirits. We slowed down as we moved to the dimmer inner recesses of the cave, with Appa rumbling in protest. Would the Fire Nation tanks follow us in? Would the dim cavern light up in a blazing firebending attack? My heart was in my throat as the clanking of the Fire Nation tanks, rendered louder by the reverberating echoes, reached us from the narrow gorge where the entrance to the caves was situated.

The metallic creaking and clanking stopped suddenly and then there was silence.

Appa was shifting nervously on his six feet and looking back at the dim light from the entrance, when the nervous silence was broken by a crashing noise of falling rock and we were all plunged into darkness.

It took a few seconds for me to realise what had happened – the Fire Nation soldiers had caused the entrance to collapse. Not daring to come in here themselves, they buried us alive, sure that the labyrinth would destroy us!

A shiver of dread went down my back – Appa was roaring pitifully in the dark somewhere ahead of me, so arms outstretched, I moved blindly forward and trying to get my bearings. I had rarely been in darkness so thick and impenetrable. Even on the darkest of nights there's always faint starlight, or the glow of a fire's dying embers to relieve the blackness, but in this cavern, the dark was oppressive and complete. I could understand why Appa's desperate roars were in crescendo.

Then someone struck a light and in the warm orange glow of a torch, I saw Appa agitatedly scrabbling away at the rocks that blocked the entrance. I went over to calm him, forcing myself to speak soothingly, even though my heart was still beating loudly at what happened.

Appa responds well to a soothing touch and a calm voice, and he stopped trying to dig himself out.

It turned out that the nomads had some torches which would give us about 10 hours of light. Given that now we had to find our way through a maze of tunnels, we would need every minute of light we could get.

We moved on, Sokka tracing out our progress on a rough map, so we wouldn't get lost. The tunnels here, unlike the elaborate carvings and archaic writing on the walls of the large cavern at the entrance, were nothing more than rough rock. Appa was still skittish and snorted unhappily at the musty, still air of the tunnels. Even the Nomads were wide-eyed and wary after our close shave with the Fire Nation, though somehow, it did not occur to them to ask why the Fire Nation were so keen on tracking us. But then again – with a war between the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, there really doesn't have to be much of a reason...

After hitting many dead-ends, we realised that we were either walking in circles or, according to Sokka, the tunnels were somehow shifting direction.

It was very frustrating, not to mention worrying. Appa was getting nervous again, so when a wolfbat, disturbed by our lights, flew screeching at us out of the dark tunnel and Sokka accidently dropped the torch on the bison's foot, Appa finally had had enough, and bolted.

It was chaos – Appa isn't a polar dog pup - he's a ten-ton mountain of muscle and fur, and he started galloping wildly around the large tunnel, hitting one wall then another in mad flight.

Then the roof caved in.

Appa must have weakened the walls of the tunnel somehow, for with an almighty crash, rocks and stones came hurtling down from the darkness above our heads.

I looked up just in time to see the whole roof give way, realising in one horrified instance, that there was no way I'd be able to outrun those massive chunks of rock. I was frozen to the spot in shock, and then everything happened very quickly – Aang, with a lightning-quick movement sent a blast of air towards Sokka and the Nomads, knocking them out of harm's way, and next moment, I felt his arms around me as he tackled me forcefully to the ground, out of the way of the falling rocks. The force of his momentum carried us several feet across the cave floor, winding me, and it was a few seconds before I could sit up. I drew a shaky breath. Aang had saved our lives – if it wasn't for his quick-thinking, we'd never have survived that cave-in. I wanted to thank him, but he was already on his feet calming Appa down and surveying the rock fall. I picked up the fallen torch and joined him, as the dust settled and we saw that we had been cut off from the others.

Appa lowed mournfully behind us, as though he knew he'd done something wrong.

'It's ok, boy,' Aang said, patting him 'It's not your fault.'

'I wish we hadn't come into these tunnels,' I said with a small shiver.

'We'll figure how to get out. At least we have some light.'

I looked at the torch in my hand. It was already half-gone. Aang had spoken with a quiet confidence that surprised me. Perhaps he was doing it for both our sakes, as well as for Appa's. And he was right – we had to keep our hopes up, for the other possibilities were too terrible to even contemplate.

'Yeah, we're bound to come across the exit somewhere, and... Aang …thanks for saving my life back there.'

'That's what friends are for,' he replied, an unreadable expression passing fleetingly across his face, 'Now let's get a move on. I think Sokka was headed in this direction, before it all came crashing down.'

We walked onwards, Appa following behind us in a more subdued way. I kept glancing at the lighted taper in my hand – each equally-spaced, knobbly bit was equivalent to a quarter of an hour, and one of them had definitely been burnt since the cave-in. Aang noticed what I was doing.

'The monks always taught me to believe in the old legends,' he said 'There's always some truth in them.'

'Yeah, and a lot of distorted facts, too.'

'Now you sound like Sokka.'

I laughed, the sound echoing abnormally in the tunnels. I bit my lip.

'I hope you're right, Aang, 'cos there aren't many clues to go on in that song, It's all a bit hazy.'

' '_only those who trust in love can make it through the caves_...'' Aang repeated – not as though he was trying to puzzle out some riddle, but more as though he was stating a simple fact.

I slowed down, lifting the torch up so that the light would fall on his face, but he went on ahead, not looking at me.

'What -?'

But I bit back my question and we walked on in silence. I wanted to ask Aang what he thought that meant – I wanted to ask in whose love he trusted... but at the last minute, I got cold feet, so I held my silence and walked by his side.

Aang had seemed uncharacteristically distant since our waterbending exercises of yesterday. Not _distant_ exactly, for he was as friendly as ever, yet sometimes there was a closed expression on his face that I couldn't easily interpret. It was probably my fault - my behaviour yesterday must have seemed confusing, to say the least.

Perhaps it was the deep silence of the caves, perhaps it was the stillness of the ancient air we were breathing, or the words of the old love-song that still echoed in my head, but suddenly I was intensely aware of Aang's presence at my side. Of course, Aang had been at my side every day for the past months, but this was somehow different. It was as though my senses had been magnified a thousand-fold and I could hear every light step, every movement, every breath of the extraordinary young Airbender next to me. The _Avatar._

No, not the Avatar. Just _Aang._ Aang, with all his quirkiness and craziness and amazing zest for life and, yes, beneath all that, even the unexpected complexities that I had never suspected he could hide so well. The raw talent, as well as the unbelievable difficulties he has to face... all that and more concentrated in this young boy walking quietly at my side.

I got a strange, tremulous feeling at the pit of my stomach and stole a look at him, but Aang seemed oblivious. His face, in profile, was softened by the warm light of my torch and he was looking straight ahead, completely unaware of what was going on in my head.

I was thankful for that, for some of the stuff whirling around in my brain was unusually ...vivid. I kept wondering what made him so confidant in finding a way out, and what trusting in love had to do with it.

I let him walk on a bit ahead of me for I thought it better that way, and then I saw it – a huge perfectly circular stone blocking the tunnel. We immediately thought we had found the exit, and so did Appa, for with a great bellow he rushed forwards and head-butted the great stone till it fell over.

However, the bright daylight we expected did not shine through the hole. Instead, beyond was an even darker cave.

'It's a tomb,' Aang said, instinctively lowering his voice.

As I raised my torch I saw that beneath us, in the middle of the cave was a raised stone platform bearing two stone sarcophagi.

'It must be the two lovers from the legend. That's who's buried here,' Aang said, as we went down a flight of steps to the elaborately decorated dais below. The top of the stone dais was almost as tall as us, and along its whole length were many inscriptions and paintings, their once-brilliant colors now faded by dust and age.

Our disappointment at not finding the exit evaporated in the thrill of discovery.

'These pictures tell their story,' I said, forgetting that we were in our current predicament _because _of the labyrinth built by the two people buried here.

Probably Aang and I were the first people in centuries, if not millennia, to set foot in this place since the two lovers were laid to rest. We looked at each other, awestruck at having found the 'grain of truth' in the legend. Aang had been right.

I read the story out loud, my voice echoing in the vast chamber.

It was a beautiful yet tragic tale of two young lovers meeting on a mountain that divided their two warring villages and falling in love – a forbidden love that they were forced to hide by building the labyrinth using eartbending skills learnt from badgermoles. When the man was killed in the war, the woman used her earthbending powers to end the war and unite the two villages in one city.

'The woman's name was Oma and the man's name was Shu. The great city was named Omashu as a monument to their love.'

My last words echoed softly round the two stone effigies of the lovers on their sarcophagi. They appeared to be sleeping, their eternally young faces, like their love, forever preserved in stone. They looked so peaceful in death – perhaps because somehow, somewhere, they were together again, whereas in life, their love had been cut tragically short.

_This was a monument to their love... _

As the last words of their story faded into silence, Aang and I looked at each other. I don't know what he was thinking, but he looked awed. Who could remain unmoved by a tale so poignant, so beautiful... a love so strong, so powerful, that it transcended the ravages of war , enduring even the passage of time down here in the dark, beneath the mountain where it was first conceived?

We saw there were two other statues carved into the wall behind us and, of one accord, we turned to see. I raised my torch higher and the figures of the two young lovers emerged from the dark: the kneeling statues of Oma and Shu were over 50 feet tall, but their figures were not so stylised and formal as the ones on their sarcophagi. They were just a young man and a young woman leaning towards each other to share a kiss. There was a kind of yearning tenderness in the simplicity of the pose and lines of the two statues. One hand rested on their lap, the other seemed to be seeking the comfort of the other's touch. Their eyes were closed, as though sight was not needed to know and feel each other's presence, and there was a sweet tenderness in their expression as well as... a touch of sadness.

I don't know how the ancient sculptor managed to capture the subtle hint of sadness, but if stone could cry, there would have been tears in their eyes, even as they kissed each other. Could the ancient sculptor have been Shu herself, earthbending this monument in memory of her lost love?

On the wall between the two statues was a stone inscription, the archaic words still clearly etched into its surface.

'Love is brightest in the dark,' I read in a hushed reverence, for it seemed to me as though they could hear us, somehow.

I looked up at the statues of Oma and Shu, locked in an eternal kiss, just as in real life they had been bound together by an eternal love.

Would I find a love that would endure as long as theirs had done? A love that lasts forever (without the heartbreak though!) Or was I too young to be thinking along those lines? In a year-and-a-half I'll be of betrothal age, but love, I always heard tell, has no barrier of age or culture or race – Oma and Shu proved that!

Echoes of Aunt Wu's prediction came to my mind, and I stole a quick look at Aang. He was looking up at the statues with a sombre expression. Then, with a barely audible sigh, he turned away, for Appa was rumbling softly up at the entrance to the tomb.

I wasn't really interested in Aunt Wu's predictions any more: love should be allowed to find its own way, without the artificial constraints imposed by fortunetelling. If there was love it would shine through, no matter what- here, in this cave, there was ample proof of that. And what I felt in my heart - for Aang – was something that had been growing steadily for weeks, if not months, and here in the dark cave of two lovers, it was thrumming forcefully in every fibre of my being, so strong that it actually scared me.

I had always believed in love, yet during our travels, I had seen the other side to that coin: love does not always have a fairytale ending.

A fairytale ending was something I had firmly believed in, growing up in the South Pole, surrounded by women who idolised their absent husbands; surrounded by books and scrolls that spoke of epic love in myths and legends; and surrounded, for the first 8 years of my life, by the shining example of the love of my mother and father.

However, during my travels, I had seen love that grows cold, like Iluak and Onartak; love that could not be, like Yue's; love that was never really there, like Jet's...

Perhaps, in part, that is what scared me yesterday, when the waterbending with Aang developed into an impromptu dance that brought me closer to the truth than I had ever expected.

What I've seen on my travels opened my eyes to the realities of life and to the fact that fairytales aren't always true.

But this one was.

This was real love. I held my torch up higher, shedding light on the secret kiss the lovers had been sharing for so many centuries in the dark, away from prying eyes...

I had never been kissed...

What did it feel like?

My heart started beating faster. Aang had turned away from the statues and was looking up at Appa with a slight frown, his mind was probably elsewhere - like where to go from here. Perhaps he was thinking that trusting in love, like the legend said, had only led us to a dead-end mausoleum.

My mind, however, was on an entirely different matter. I knew I should have been trying to puzzle my way out of the cave, instead of wondering about being kissed...

But perhaps it _was_ a puzzle. Perhaps the two lovers had meant their statues to teach a lesson... Perhaps these statues are an example of their own trust in love...

'How are we gonna find our way out of the tunnels?' Aang asked, frowning.

'I have a crazy idea.'

I don t know what made me say that, but an idea had been slowly forming in my head as I contemplated the two lovers... but it was heart-stoppingly audacious, and exciting, and just plain _CRAZY!_

'What?' Aang asked, turning towards me hopefully, but clearly unaware of what was in my head.

My heart started beating faster and I turned away from him. I knew I should shut up NOW before making a fool of myself.

'Never mind, it s too crazy'.

I could hear Aang coming up behind me, and I felt a slow flush rise in my cheeks.

'Katara, what is it?' Aang was insistent, so instead of shutting up, I tried to explain.

'I was thinking...the curse said that we'll be trapped in here forever unless we trust in love,' I said, not daring to look round at Aang. The echoing of our voices was not making this any easier.

'Right...' Aang said slowly, still unaware of what I was driving at.

'And here there's written: _love is brightest in the dark_ ...'

I hesitated, feeling my cheeks burn, and my heart beating so loud I was afraid it could be heard. Finally, I turned round to face Aang, but I couldn't quite meet his eyes.

'... and has a picture of them kissing,' I continued, my eyes firmly fixed on the ground.

'Where are you going with this?'

Aang still hadn't a clue. But wasn't it written all over my face already? I would've imagined he'd have thought about kissing me – especially yesterday. I was blushing furiously by now, and I felt excited, eager, and scared at the same time. I wished I wasn't holding the torch, for its light seemed suddenly too bright ... especially when I blurted out what I had been trying to say all along:

**'**Well... what if we kissed?'

I felt so shy at that minute, as though I stood naked before him, yet the words had been finally said, and I looked up at him tremulously, hoping he wouldn't think me too forward, or that I'd completely lost my head...

...hoping that, like the statues above us, he'd lean forward and kiss me.

But when I looked up, the expression on Aang's face was one of shock. He wouldn't have looked more surprised if I'd suddenly spouted huge horns and purple tentacles on my head!

It felt like a cold shower had fallen over me.

'Us – kissing?' he asked, in complete disbelief.

I wished the ground would open up and swallow me. I turned away, trying to make it appear as though it was nothing but a bad idea brought on by misreading the clues of the old song and this mausoleum place.

'See, it was a crazy idea,' I said, unable to disguise the hurt in my voice. How had I so completely misread the clues? I had thought Aang liked me – I had thought... _oh so many things. _

'Us, kissing,' Aang repeated in a strange voice, but I had turned away from him, unable to look him in the eye now.

This was my nightmare coming true... thinking there was something between us when there wasn't, and now it was awkward and it would ruin our friendship, and – _How could I have been so stupid!?_

'Us kissing...What was I thinking? Can you imagine that?' I tried to laugh it off, hoping to pick the remnants of my dignity, and wishing, the whole time, that the earth would open up and swallow me. I felt like such an idiot! This place, this whole love-story thing, as well as the flower-scented spring air of the Kolau Mountains and the nomads love-songs had completely turned my head! I had imagined things that weren't there and I had been completely mistaken...

I was to find out exactly how mistaken I was by Aang s next words:

'Yeah,' he said, with a nervous laugh ' I definitely wouldn't wanna kiss you! '

His face fell as soon as the words were out of his mouth for he realised just how bad that sounded. But it was too late - the words had been uttered, and the truth of what he really thought had come out.

To say I was not only shocked and offended, but devastated, is an understatement.

I was hurting so bad inside I felt like crying. Instead, I hid my grief with anger.

'Oh. Well, I didn't realise it was such a horrible option,' I said, raising my voice so that he would not hear it quivering, 'I m sorry I suggested it!'

I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. Couldn't he simply have said it was a bad idea and left it at that?... _I definitely wouldn't wanna kiss you_... Did he have to make me feel so bad?

And then he proceeded to make me feel worse:

'No, no, I mean... If there was a choice between kissing you and _dying_-'

I turned away from him with an indignant gasp, crossing my arms angrily. I couldn't believe my ears! This was going so, so _wrong_. I guess Aang didn't really mean to offend me, so he tried to mitigate the insult, but I wished he would just shut up!

'What?' he said coming up behind me and sounding genuinely surprised. 'I'm saying I d rather kiss you than die.'

My anger was, by now, really outweighing my grief. Why didn't he stop talking?! Did he have to rub my face in it?

'It's a compliment,' he added pleadingly, and sounding genuinely distressed at having upset me.

A _compliment_?!

I whirled round on him angrily. 'Well, I'm not sure _which _I would rather do!' I shouted.

Then I shoved the torch in his hand and stormed off. I didn't want its light on my face. At that moment, I just wanted to hide somewhere in the dark, away from that place and the statues of the lovers kissing. And dying of shame didn't seem like such a far-fetched possibility.

I ran up the stairs two at a time to the balcony that overlooked the cave of two lovers, past Appa's bulk and through the hole that led to the tunnels beyond, stopping to catch my breath in their welcoming, cool, darkness.

My anger was fast dissipating to be replaced by an overwhelming insecurity and shame. Why hadn't I just kept my mouth shut? And what was wrong with me? What was so hideous about me, that kissing me was seen as a last resort?

I had always thought I was a pretty average-looking Southern Water Tribe girl...Gran Gran even used to say I was pretty, but then, of course, she's biased, and I had no-one to compare myself to. When we started our adventures, months ago, and I could, and did, see other girls my own age, it didn't cross my mind that there's a problem ...except perhaps that I was a bit naive and unsophisticated. After all, Jet seemed to like me... but then again – look what _he_ turned out to be!

Perhaps it had nothing to do with my looks – perhaps it has something to do with my character? Perhaps I'm not fun to be around? Gran Gran said I was getting old before my time… or perhaps I'm too uncultured? Or too young or too old? Or perhaps he saw me just as a sister after all...

My thoughts quickly spiralled down to a fug of insecurities as I stood there in the dark, wondering where on earth I had gone wrong. It was only a yesterday when Aang and I were practicing waterbending together, our movements so in harmony with each other that it felt like an intimate dance. It was not so long ago when he was offering me a necklace made of Sokka's fishing line and looking on admiringly when I put it on, or when he ran in confusion out of the room when Sokka wanted to know who the Panda Lilies where for, or when I was healing the cut on his shoulder and he was looking at me with-

My thoughts were interrupted by the barest flicker of light from behind me. I hastily wiped my eyes, took a deep steadying breath, and waited for Aang.

_I_ had asked _Aang_ to kiss me! I was cringing with embarrassment and humiliation now. What on earth had possessed me, after all those promises to myself not to let things go out of control...?

I was thinking that I should try and explain ...perhaps he would believe me and think it was just some crazy idea brought on by the lover's tale and the tomb ... nothing else...

If I had ruined our friendship, I'd never forgive myself.

I was hurting so bad inside at the rejection and yes, beneath the hurt, there was also a simmering anger at the blundering way Aang had told me he was not interested! He could've been more _sensitive_ about it...

But in spite of everything, the one thing that surfaced most strongly in the turmoil of my emotions was the fear that because of my stupid request, things between us would change forever and the awkwardness would drive us apart. I couldn't let that happen. Not only because of myself, but because Aang is the Avatar, and he has enough difficulties to face without the added one of a friendship going sour. There are a hundred reasons why I don't want to rock the stability of our small group - if we had to be driven apart, I don't think I can stand it. The day we left Aang to go with Bato still haunts me.

I resolved, then and there, to brush the incident off as though it were of no matter, as if it were just a bad idea and I would never, ever, be so stupid again. I'd make Aang see I could be level-headed and practical, and all these romantic ideas in my head will be banished to a place where even I will not be able to reach.

However, when the flickering light of the torch came closer, I could not bring myself to face Aang, so I just moved on ahead as soon as the light illuminated enough of the tunnel ahead.

'Katara, I-'

'We should just retrace our steps for now, the tunnel branches out later.' I cut across him rather sharply, even though I was trying to keep my voice as level as I could.

I was unwilling to hear any more explanations - they'd only make things worse. I moved on ahead before he had a chance to catch up, and, for a few minutes, we walked in silence through the tunnels.

Only it was a very loud silence.

The awkwardness I had been so afraid of had already set in, eating away at our mind and soul like a canker. Appa's heavy footfalls and his occasional unhappy rumble were the only noise that broke the eons-old silence of the tunnel.

In my mind however, I was desperately trying to think of something to say – something that would not come out as a snarl of resentment at his earlier words, or else a crushed sob of grief at his rejection! Both emotions were battling to hold sway in my heart and I was afraid of what would come out, if I dared open my mouth.

But Aang decided the matter. The torchlight flickered brighter as he quickened his pace to catch up with me.

I resisted the urge to run faster - no-one can outrun an airbender.

'Katara, I'm – I'm sorry,' he stammered 'I – I just don't know what came over me. I didn't mean...'

His voice trailed into silence and I slowed down, but kept my eyes averted, feeling a cold hand clutch at my heart. I didn't really want to hear any explanations of why he didn't want to kiss me. I should've tried to brush the whole incident off then and there, like I said I would, but a lump in my throat effectively kept me from saying anything at all, as Aang came up by my side. I heard him take a deep breath.

'I didn't mean what I said the way it _sounded_...' he explained, confusedly 'It's just that I ...that you... I mean, I just didn't _expect _that Katara, you took me completely by surprise, after... after...' He paused, took a deep breath, and then looked down. 'And I -'

I stole a glance at him. He was looking at the torch in his hand with a puzzled frown but looked up at that instant. Our eyes met, and he swallowed drily.

'...and I don't think it's a horrible option,' he continued nervously.

My heart missed a beat when I realised what he was referring to. But did he mean it? Or was he saying it to make me feel better? Something in his eyes told me he _did_ mean it, and I realised I was holding my breath.

'I ...we should get a move on.' I choked out, moving ahead quickly, the turmoil in my heart increasing tenfold.

Was Aang convincing himself of it because he didn't want to hurt my feelings again?

'I mean it, Katara,' he said quietly, just as I moved out of the range of the flickering torchlight.

I bit my lip in the dark. I didn't want to say anything. Better not.

But I wanted to believe him. I really, really did. What he said was true, I'd sprung that request on him rather suddenly, and I was so nervous that I'd tried to laugh the whole thing off immediately. Perhaps he'd done the same, so's not to embarrass me. Perhaps he was just as nervous about it as I was. Perhaps...

The flickering torchlight caught up with me again as we moved onwards. The tunnel was widening. We were coming to the point where it divided out into several branches. I hoped that one of us would remember which one of the several tunnels we had come through. I glanced round at Aang. He was looking at the dancing flame of the torch in his hand, his expression serious, almost sad.

What was he thinking?

That if we didn't find the way out of here soon, we'd soon be in the dark. We'd be trapped in here forever, exactly like the curse said.

Because we hadn't trusted in love.

Or had we?

There was something slightly different between us now. Not awkwardness so much now – it was more like our desperate situation had brought a certain sadness and regret. At what, and for what, I wasn't sure. At what happened earlier? At the possibilities missed? At the approaching moment when we'd be lost in the dark?

The tunnel widened suddenly, darker openings ahead indicating we had come to the point where we had to choose our direction. The yellow-orange light of the torch behind me was not following me. Aang had stopped.

'We're gonna run out of light any second now, aren't we?' Aang's voice came from behind me, and it was unmistakeably sad, even more than apprehensive or fearful.

I turned to look at him. 'I think so.'

Perhaps, like me, he was thinking that we had failed each other somehow. He had been the one, before we entered the cavern, to insist that we could trust in the old legend, in love... and, while we were in there, for some time at least, I had believed in love, too...

'Then what are we gonna do?' Aang asked.

The desperateness of the situation weighed down on me suddenly. Unless Sokka and the others found us, we would be buried here forever in the dark. I turned round. Aang realised this. He was probably blaming himself for taking us through the tunnels. But it wasn't his fault. We had no choice.

'What _can_ we do?' I retorted.

Then I walked over and placed my hand on his, so that we both clasped the torch together. If we were about to be plunged into darkness, then I wanted to be with Aang. I didn't want us to get separated again – either physically or even more importantly, in our hearts. Not now. This was not the time for any misunderstandings. We still had hope, but that seemed to be dwindling as fast as the light from the torch. I didn't trust myself to speak so I squeezed Aang's hand, trying to tell him, silently, what I meant. His eyes sought mine, and then he smiled softly at me, the dancing flame of the flickering torch reflected in his eyes.

And there was something else there: something unequivocal in its meaning and something that set my heart beating, in spite of the grimness of the situation. Or perhaps because of it.

There was no hesitation or confusion, but a quiet certainty in Aang's expression, and I realised he was silently answering my question.

_What can we do?_

The answer was so simple. It had been there before us all along in the cave of two lovers. It was there, tingling between our clasped hands; it was there, glowing even more strongly on our faces than the light from the torch... _Trust in love_ Aang was tacitly telling me.

Then he leaned towards me just as the flame burnt lower still. My heart started racing wildly as I realised what his intention was…I had never been this close to Aang before – at least not with this purpose. His eyes had turned the rich brown as they always do in firelight, but there was more warmth in them than I had ever seen before. As he drew purposefully closer, my heart was fluttering madly in my chest and I found I could not breathe... yet through it all, I felt a strange warm sensation, a need to show Aang how much I cared, a feeling so overwhelmingly strong, that I leaned towards him too, bridging the gap between us.

I think the candle must have guttered then, I don't know, for I closed my eyes - there was no need to see.

Love is, indeed, brightest in the dark.

It was nothing but the merest brushing of our lips together, and yet it was as if time stood still...

I was aware of nothing but the soft pressure of Aang's lips on mine, the slight tremor that passed back and forth between us, as our hands sought, and found, each other's, our fingers interlacing . We kissed each other as the statues of the two lovers did, leaning tremulously towards each other in the dark...

It could have lasted an eternity, but was probably mere seconds... yet the most amazingly few seconds of my life. There was so much said and so much more left unsaid, in that fragment of eternity. The sheer strength of my feelings was overwhelming. Scaringly so. I was, I think, completely unprepared for such intensity of feeling, and I don't know what would have happened, had not a strange blue light suddenly come on.

We broke apart, yet kept contact by one hand on the burnt-out torch. I suppose we were guiltily thinking someone must've come upon us, but instead, there were large, roughly diamond-shaped crystals embedded in the roof of the tunnels above our heads and they had started to glow. My heart was beating wildly and I was still breathless as I gazed up at the blue glowing stones above.

Having ascertained we were still alone, I looked back down again at Aang, who, eyes shining, mutely held out his other hand. I took his hand and our fingers intertwined, as they had done in the dark, and a feeling of sheer, exhilarating joy washed over me, so strong; so overpowering, that I felt it outshined even the pale blue light above our heads.

My head was so dizzy with what had just happened, it took me a few seconds to realise what the strange glowing stones meant.

Aang, however, was quicker.

'It's made of some kind of crystals,' he said, 'They must only light up in the dark!'

In the dark. Of course. _Love is brightest in the dark!_

**'**That's how the two lovers found each other,' I said, catching up quickly 'They just put out their lights and followed the crystals.'

I indicated the glowing blue pathway above our heads. The crystals led down only one of the tunnels on our right.

**'**That must be the way out!' I cried, and the joy I had felt previously overflowed. We had made it!

I fell on Aang's shoulders, hugging him tight. I felt his arms encircle me. We had proved the legend was true!

Or else, perhaps, it was the legend that had proved to us what trusting in love could do ...

When we broke apart, the brightening glow of the blue crystals brought me to my senses.

'So... um...' Aang was saying, as though not quite sure what to say or do now.

But I didn't want any explanations. There was no need for words. Words, sometimes, are misleading, as we had found out back there in tomb. What I had felt – what we _both_ felt – was enough. And yet, for some strange reason, it scared me too.

'Let's go!' I cried, running ahead down the softly glowing blue pathway of the right-hand tunnel.

I think I was running away from Aang that minute. I didn't look round or wait to see if he was following, but I knew he would. I knew he was just as happy as I was, though I don't think he was _scared_ like I was. I knew many things now. My heart was soaring as I ran out of the tunnel. And not just because we had found our way out.

Aang had kissed me.

It was my first kiss and I felt like flying! Aang liked me. In spite of his confusing words to the contrary in the lover's tomb, he liked me. _That_ way. I could be sure of that now. He couldn't have faked a kiss so tender, so sweet, that I get all fluttery inside, even now as I'm writing about it.

I knew, even then, as I was running down that tunnel, that I should be thinking and acting more sensibly! That I was even more completely out of my head than I had been earlier, before we entered the tomb... but it was hard to ignore the tumultuous feelings coursing through my veins and I could think about nothing else as I ran towards the light.

It was only a few minutes later I saw the sharp white light of an opening in the distance. Appa thundered past joyfully and Aang caught up with me as we emerged from the tunnel. I blinked as my eyes adjusted to the light of a late afternoon sun. The daylight seemed very harsh after the soft glow and dimness of the crystals, and, for the second time that day, I didn't quite appreciate the strong light on my face.

But it brought me to my senses quicker than emerging into some romantic moonlit night. The clear sunlight of the lengthening spring day was unforgivingly bright and exposing. The sun was low in the sky, for we had been in there for hours. I also realised, as I shook my head clear, that Sokka and the others were still lost.

That woke me. We had to find them somehow, but I knew there would be no way of persuading Appa to go in there again.

As though he'd read my thoughts Aang voiced my worries:

'What about Sokka?' he said.

A second later, we felt the ground shake and there were two huge rock explosions on either side of the carved exit we had come out of.

They were Badgermoles. I recognised them from the paintings on the tomb, but I had never expected them to be so HUGE!

Or to find Sokka riding one of them. The nomads were riding on the other.

I ran up to my brother in heartfelt relief as he slid off the creatures back. He grabbed me by the shoulders as though he couldn't believe we had made it out of there too!

'How did you get out?' Sokka asked in amazement.

'Just like the legend says,' Aang answered simply, casting a meaningful look in my direction, 'we just let love lead the way.'

There it was.

Aang had actually said it out loud.

Sokka probably hadn't understood. 'Really? We let huge ferocious beasts lead our way.'

There was a deafening rumble as the Badgermoles returned to the mountain, earthbending the mountain face closed behind them as they left. I pulled Sokka into a tight hug. I was really, really relieved to find my brother had got out all right, but I was also hiding my face on his shoulder, for I didn't want him to see the effect Aang's words had on me.

That's when Chong came over, whispering he thought that Aang was the Avatar.

Oh, _really?!_

No wonder Sokka has face-palmed his forehead to an inflamed red after his time with the nomads. For all their freedom and ease, the nomads seem a bit too random and haphazard (and not of the brightest, I must add!) But I think they had their reservations about travelling with us too, for I heard Aang ask them if they would be coming to Omashu with us and Moku very emphatically said NO. I guess travelling with someone who has Fire Nation soldiers on their heels can't be too comfortable.

Still, Chong bade Sokka a fond farewell, telling him not to let the plans get in the way of the journey.

I guess he's right on that one: although our plan had been to find the exit to the tunnels, yet the journey in itself is what will remain in my heart forever...

And it was as though Chong read my mind. He started to play and sing the melodic song of the legendary lovers, as he and the other nomads started on their way.

'_... even if you're lost, you can't lose the love because it's in your heart...'_

As we stood watching the dancing figures recede in the distance, I felt Aang glance sideways at me. He did not say anything, but I knew what he was thinking. We had been lost, but now... now there was something in our hearts - something that would always be there, no matter what. I lowered my eyes as Aang's fleeting but meaningful glance made me blush right to the roots of my hair. Finally, the last notes of the lover's song faded away too.

'Hey guys, we need to get a move on,' Sokka said impatiently, shaking me out of my dreaminess.

'I'll get Appa,' Aang said, going over to where the great bison had rolled onto his back, saddle and all, in sheer relief at being out in the open again.

'We'll be walking now. We can't risk arriving at Omashu in a hail of fireballs,' Sokka said glancing at the setting sun. 'That means we gotta set up camp at the foot of this mountain.'

'Fine by me,' Aang shrugged 'We're only a few hours away from Omashu on foot. We'll get there tomorrow.'

I did not miss the eagerness in his voice. I, too, was looking forward to having one last night together before the hustle and bustle that will be our lives in the great city tomorrow.

Even as we climbed down the mountain, I could sense an invisible something between Aang and I – it was the strange, exciting thrill of a secret shared. It wasn't our only secret - Aang had confided in me things he hadn't ever said to anybody – but this was different. Totally different. It vibrated silently between us, warm and glowing, for now that everyone was safely out of the mountains, I couldn't' help thinking about what had just happened.

I had no idea, almost half a year ago when Jet had ignited in me a yearning for romance, or when Madam Wu further filled my head with images of a nameless, faceless, lover and husband, that my very first kiss would be with Aang.

Or that it would be so wonderful.

Sokka regaled us all the way down to the valley below with the story of his misadventures with the nomads.

He never once noticed that Aang and I were not volunteering any information about _our _journey through the mountains. Sokka isn't the most perspicacious, emotion-wise, and after Aang's initial explanation, it was as if we had tacitly agreed not to say anything on what we did to get out of the tunnels.

We set up camp in a narrow gorge between some high hills we have to climb tomorrow to get to Omashu. There are some trees and creeping vegetation in this gorge that will serve to hide Appa's bulk should Fire Nation soldiers have ventured this close to Omashu.

It is late at night now, and I'm writing this by the light of one of the Nomads' remaining torches that Sokka brought with him out of the cave. We daren't risk a large campfire that might be seen by the enemy. Sokka is asleep already, and Aang is lying down on Appa's legs, for the great bison took a long time to settle down. After his ordeal in the caves, Appa's exuberance at being out in the open meant he kept trying to fly off at every opportunity, so that Aang had to keep a tight control over him. That's why he's sleeping on the bison's legs tonight – just in case Appa gets it into his head to go for a night-time flight.

Actually, I don't think Aang is asleep. His face is a pale smudge in the dark beyond the feeble light of this torch, but sometimes I can see him shift, and I think he's looking at me in the dark.

I wonder what he's thinking?

Is he thinking about what happened?

_I_ am. I'm reading over what I've written and now, at the distance of some time and space between us and the Lovers' cave, I can think a bit more rationally, and some of my earlier worries have come back.

Will this change everything between us? Even during the routine drudgery of setting up camp I could not talk to Aang without feeling a small thrill, as well as a slight awkwardness. Of course, with Sokka around, we haven't spoken about anything.

And I'm not sure I want to.

I'm worrying about what will happen now. What if Aang says something? What will I do? As much as our kiss was so wonderful, I can't forget the feeling of how scared I was soon after – almost in panic. And I still can't figure out what I'm so scared of...

Perhaps it all happened so quickly.

After all, barely six months ago, soon after we had found him in the iceberg, I had offered Aang to be part of my family for he had none of his own. I thought I could treat him as my brother. Yet, even in those early days, somehow my relationship with Aang was completely different to what it was with Sokka. He was a contradictory mixture of vulnerability and strength. I may have convinced myself differently, but I don't think I ever saw Aang as my brother in the way I see Sokka as my brother.

But I did think he saw me as a sister.

At least at first.

It was only when Aunt Wu's words first planted the seeds of another possibility in my head that I started seeing the signs. Many of them, I found, had been there from the beginning of our adventures and were recorded faithfully (yet unknowingly) in my own writing in my mother's old scroll.

So what am I afraid of? That Aang says something as confusing as back there in the cave ( I still can't quite forget the _I'd rather kiss you than die '_compliment') ? That he says he'd like to kiss me again? What would I do then? What if it's just a passing infatuation, like mine with Jet's? Something very beautiful and romantic, but short? What happens when it's over, like Iluajk and Onartak? It would hurt. A _lot_. And it would destroy the harmony of our little group, if not our friendship. If the intensity of what I felt in the tunnels is anything to go by, I can certainly say it's not a passing infatuation – at least not on my part. But we're both young. Aang even more so than me.

All the doubts and insecurities that I had back there in the cave are coming back to me. And though I wouldn't have my first kiss to be other than the magical moment it was back in the caves, a part of me keeps wishing that things would go back to what they were before – an uncomplicated but strong friendship that would not risk the harmony and balance of our little group, when we're only months away from the arrival of Sozin's Comet!

I must get my head out of the clouds and start acting responsibly. Aang is the Avatar and I must never forget that! I had always dreamed, since I was just a little girl, that the Avatar would return and save the world. It's just that I had never imagined I'd be so closely involved in his mission and responsibilities.

After today, 'closely involved' has taken on a new meaning. An exciting but even more frightening one, for suddenly I feel as though my resolve to help the Avatar is being threatened by my own growing feelings for this young boy and the disaster it could lead to. It could mess things up between us, and if he were to fail his duties because of that, I could never forgive myself.

The words of the nomad's song are still echoing in my head: _Two lovers, forbidden from one another..._ I could think of many reasons why Aang and I should not be together. We are forbidden by rules unwritten, but there, nonetheless. I can see some of them now, even if Aang doesn't.

From now on, I'm going to try and forget all this happened. Well, not forget (how can I?) but at least pretend it was just a crazy moment during which we both got carried away by the Lover's tale and the desperation of being lost in the dark. At least, that way, I'll buy myself some time to think on how to go about this, should Aang say anything. Perhaps he won't. Tomorrow we'll see.


	28. Chapter 28

**153 rd day of our journey. Omashu has fallen! We arrived at the great chasm that separates the city from the surrounding mountains early in the morning only to find the Fire Nation insignia flying from banners all over the city, as well as the black smoke of their metal factories drifting slowly above its peak. **

**The Avatar is insisting we stay and find his old friend, King Bumi.**

My fears of yesterday about Aang or myself being distracted over what happened between us are unfounded: the shock of seeing Omashu fall has seen to that. Aang is worried about King Bumi and we've spent the whole day planning how to get into the city. Aang says he knows of a secret passage, but we'll need Appa to fly us there as soon as it's dark.

It was terrible to see the beautiful white peaks of Omashu soiled and blackened by the soot from Fire Nation forges and the red-and-black flags everywhere, like a blight on the city! A metal bridge straddles the chasm where once a long winding rocky passage was.

We had set out on the last leg of our journey at the first signs of an approaching dawn, for Sokka was eager to get to Omashu and the promise of fine living in King Bumi's palace. It was hard going, for the landscape around Omashu is all high hills and mountains. Once again, we were not risking flying on Appa, so we had to climb up and down each hill on our approach to the city, and there wasn't much time for talking.

At one point, I had lagged a bit behind, just as we were going up the last steep hill. Seeing that, Aang hung back a bit too, letting Sokka move on ahead until he was out of hearing. He looked as though he might say something about what happened yesterday.

That scared me, for I still didn't know what to say.

I knew what I would _like_ to say – that it was a wonderful, unforgettable thing that happened – but I wasn't sure I should say anything at all. There's so much at stake, and on so many levels... Aang's not just anybody – he's the _Avatar_! That's an inescapable truth for both of us. It would've been complicated enough even if it was just _Aang,_ but with duties and responsibilities no other Avatar his age has ever had to shoulder, saying it's complicated is an understatement! I need more time to think.

Strange I find myself so reluctant to speak openly about something that yesterday I was displeased Aang was being too reticent about... The tables have turned, and I don't know exactly why.

'We should hurry up, we're lagging behind', I said, before Aang could even open his mouth, and I quickened my pace to catch up with Sokka, keeping my eyes firmly on the ground. I think Aang noticed my reluctance, but next minute we had reached the top of the hill and Sokka announced the city of Omashu.

Only it wasn't Omashu as we know it.

Everything else flew out of my mind as we stood in shock looking at the spoilt beauty of the city. The chasm around it that made it so easily defensible had been breached, for there was a metal bridge spanning that space. Metal can't be bent.

Aang was very upset, especially when Sokka, with his usual tactlessness, implied that King Bumi could have been killed or executed. Aang flatly refused to entertain that possibility, or to leave Omashu and find himself another Earth Bending teacher.

'This isn't about finding a teacher. This is about finding my friend,' he said.

Sokka and I looked at each other. There was no going against such determination. I had always known Bumi was someone very special for Aang, but I was only just realising just how deep his loyalty to Bumi ran.

'Don't worry, Aang,' I said 'We'll find Bumi.'

'Yesterday we spent _hours_ down a labyrinth of dark tunnels to escape from the very same Fire Nation soldiers that are occupying this city,' Sokka said, acerbically 'and now you want us to just waltz into their midst...'

'Not just waltz in, Sokka,' Aang said, brightening considerably 'I think I have an idea how to get in unnoticed.'

'Why do I have a feeling I will regret this?' Sokka grumbled, resignedly 'Let's get away from here – we're right on the skyline.'

We headed downhill again in silence and a rather sombre mood. Omashu was the biggest city I had ever seen (with the possible exception of the Northern Water Tribe's ice city), and it had seemed completely unassailable surrounded as it was by that huge chasm and defended by skilled earthbenders. How could it have fallen?

'Metal,' Sokka said in a low growl, as though he were reading my thoughts. 'They used metal to span the chasm and burnt their way through Omashu. Now they're using metal to clad the city and make it unbendable.'

'It must have happened quite some time ago,' I said 'probably when we were still in General Fong's fortress.'

'If only we'd've come here sooner…' Aang threw a dark look in the direction of the city.

'I don't think we could've stopped Omashu from falling in Fire Nation hands, even with an escort from Fong,' Sokka looked back over his shoulders as we made our way down hill 'Anyway – no more crazy ideas like Fongs' – if we get into the city, it'll have to be by stealth!'

We made our way back down to the valley and now we're just waiting for night to fall. Aang thinks he knows another way, a secret passage into Omashu from somewhere inside the chasm that separates the city from the rest of the land. We'll need Appa to fly us across, so it'll have to be very dark before we venture down there.

Aang is pacing up and down restlessly near Appa. I know he's very worried about Bumi - Sokka's unspoken words have got to him. It's not the first time the occupying Fire Nation forces have executed the town leaders so as to avoid them becoming rallying points for resistance movements.

Sokka is preparing his weapons and I have already got our dark cloaks ready. The sun is a blazing fiery-red ball between the mountain peaks. Aang has paused in his restless pacing to look at the sinking sun, the contours of his determined face painted a vivid red by the sunset.

I feel very awake and the thrill of another adventure is coursing through my veins. I hope all goes well.

**154 th day of our journey. Yesterday night we sneaked into the city via the sewer system. There we made contact with the Resistance movement within the city underground labyrinth of tunnels and sewer ducts. **

**The Resistance were far outnumbered and the Avatar convinced them all to leave to fight another day. My brother hit upon the brilliant idea of faking a plague to allow the city's citizens to leave Omashu's walls unharmed.**

**The plan worked, and now we are camping outside the city. Aang's quest for King Bumi has failed, though he did find Flopsy, the King's Gorilla-goat.**

**During the escape from the city, a small toddler by the name of Tom Tom somehow got caught up with the crowd and we have just found out he's the Governor's son. **

**The governor is willing to trade King Bumi in return for his son.**

I would never in my life have thought the day would come when I'd be happily bending sewage!

Well, actually, 'happily' isn't what I felt, quite the contrary - but Aang said it was the only way into the city without being seen. The sewer outlets were set at the city's base and at the top of the high sheer walls that Omashu stood on. They were unreachable unless you had a flying bison – which we did.

Aang went in first and after a second's hesitation (the stench was incredible!) I gritted my teeth and followed. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, for I could bend most of the muck away so that I didn't get as much as a splash on my clothes. Poor Sokka, however, got the worst of it. When we finally emerged from a manhole onto a darkened street, I washed the muck off him and Aang airbended him dry, but we found he had been attacked by some purple sewer-dwelling creatures with suckers.

Sokka panicked of course. Aang had to tackle him and pin him to a wall before he would quit yelling. The creatures on my brother's face, Aang said, were just a harmless Pentapi, and could easily be tickled off. Their suckers left pock-marks on Sokka's face but otherwise he was okay and we were about to go off when we were accosted by some patrolling fire nation soldiers – apparently there's a curfew in the city now.

Aang was quick-witted enough to wrap his sash around his head to hide his tattoo and in the meantime, I convinced the soldiers that my brother had Pentapox: the name popped into my head just in time, and sounded suitably medical and gruesome. Sokka's spots and his acting sick soon had the soldiers running to burn their clothes. (my brother is very good at feigning aches and pains when it suits him – I should know, for I'm the one who usually falls for it!)

We walked for about half-an-hour in the dark deserted streets - Omashu was so different from how we had seen it – there were signs of construction work everywhere, the palace was no longer there and scaffolding covered most of the city's many-tiered levels.

But it was the eerie silence that was got to me.

'Let's find Bumi and get out of here,' I whispered.

Aang thought they'd be keeping Bumi somewhere made of metal where he couldn't earth-bend.

'They're turning this whole city into metal' Sokka said grimly 'They want to make sure any earthbenders left in the city won't have any advantage.'

Just then, we noticed some movement in the city level below ours. A small group of soldiers with lights were accompanying two women along the bare stretch of ground. At the same time, we heard the rumble of falling masonry. Some stones and rubble were falling down one of Omashu's mailchutes in the direction of the small party. Aang acted quickly and as the stones reached his level he sent an air blast that pulverised the stones into dusty debris. However, one of the women mistook Aang for the perpetrator of the rockfall, and soon we had her and the escorting soldiers after us.

Actually, up close, I realised that the woman was only a teenager: She was Fire Nation, and obviously of high rank, with long, dark, elaborately-styled hair and narrowed eyes that had a steely glint in them. She was worse than the soldiers. Like an arrow released from the bowstring, she moved in an impossibly fast way, and had an arsenal of weapons hidden up her wide sleeves – arrows and knives which she flung with deadly accuracy at us. We barely made it to get away – in fact, I think we might not have got away, hadn't the ground suddenly given away beneath us.

We landed with a jarring thud somewhere dark and it took me a while to realise someone had earthbended us back into the sewer tunnels again. Only here they were larger and lit with Omashu's ubiquitous green crystals. We sat up, disoriented, to find ourselves surrounded by earthbenders.

'I've seen you before,' a large, burly earthbender said as we slowly got to our feet. 'You came to the palace.'

'Yeah, we did end up as King Bumi's guests, eventually...' Sokka remarked, rubbing his head.

I thought the earthbender looked vaguely familiar. He turned out to be one of King Bumi's army commanders, Colonel Bao. We explained what happened.

'It is good to see you again Avatar,' the earthbender bowed respectfully, and the others followed suit.

Aang took off his improvised hat and we listened solemnly as Bao explained how they were trying to lead a resistance movement against the occupying Fire Nation army, but the really shocking part of his tale was when he explained how, when the Fire Nation first attacked Omashu, King Bumi decided not fight back.

Even I, who did not really know Bumi that well, found this hard to believe. Though an eccentric, I felt that the old man loved Omashu. I could see that Aang took this news badly too.

'We have enough earthbenders to cause some pretty serious damage in these tunnels,' one of the resistance fighters said, sombrely 'They've clad most of the city in metal, but we could cause these tunnels to collapse. That would, however destroy Omashu and what's left of its citizens.'

The morale of the resistance fighters was low, and I was quickly coming to see the hopelessness of the situation. Despite the resistance leader's brave words, I could see that living like elephant-rats, with no real opportunity to win the city back, was weighing hard on some of the resistance fighters, so when Aang, who was thinking along the same lines, suggested they leave the city to fight another day, most of the earthbenders agreed.

It was Sokka who came up with the idea of faking a plague to evacuate Omashu's citizens. If not all of them, at least those of them who wanted to come – like the resistance fighters and their families.

Using the temporary pockmarks left by the Pentapi, we soon had a very convincing plague running rampant among the oppressed people of Omashu, and Sokka organised a small group to inform the Fire Nation soldiers of the outbreak.

In the excitement of creating a false disease, however, I had forgotten about Bumi. Aang hadn't. I realised he hadn't any Pentapus marks and he'd tied his sash once more round his head.

'I'm not leaving until I find Bumi,' he told me as he took off on his glider.

The familiar prickle of unease swept through me as I saw his figure recede in the distance. I didn't want us to get separated – especially by leaving Aang behind in a Fire-Nation-occupied city. I knew he could take care of himself, and that on his glider he could reach us in minutes. But what if he was recognised? King Bumi was bound to be heavily guarded.

The resistance leader had confirmed that, to his knowledge, King Bumi was still alive, but still felt too betrayed by Bumi's attitude to even want to speak about his former King. I guess I can't blame him – I probably would have felt the same way myself. Aang, however, wasn't abandoning Bumi, and I could do nothing about it, for a huge crowd of Pentapox-riddled citizens were gathering, and I had to think about their safety too.

The rendez-vous with the Fire Nation soldiers went exactly as Sokka planned: they ran off, white-faced, to tell the Governor that there was strange but deadly plague among Omashu's citizens. It wasn't long before the order came to rid the city of anyone showing symptoms of the disease. Anyone refusing would be locked up in a quarantine-come-charnel house near the city walls.

So, my face tingling slightly where the Pentapus suckers had inflamed it, I joined hundreds of people near the outer gate. I'm not that good at faking illness, but I gave it my best shot – I wanted these people out alive: if our trick were to be discovered I knew the Fire Nation retribution would be terrible. However, the soldiers didn't come close enough to observe well: they stayed as far away as their commanding officer would allow, and ushered us forward, threatening at spear-point anyone who came too close.

So we staggered towards the gate – many feigning a high fever and delirium; others carrying 'unconscious' companions on improvised stretchers to make it more realistic. Once out of the gate, I had to resist the urge to run off, because we had to play the part until we were completely out of sight. So we crawled and shuffled pitifully along the metal bridge. Finally, when we were sure no Fire Nation telescope would see us, we quickened our pace so that, a few hours later, just as the sun was setting, we found a sheltered place hidden by the high mountains and set up camp on the valley floor.

We were not able to get too many provisions with us, for once the Governor had given the order to evacuate, Firebenders had seen to it that we move quickly - on pain of instant plague-cleansing by incineration! However, we soon had some fires going, and the evacuees were sharing whatever food they had with a palpable air of relief and light-heartedness.

I was kept busy healing some resistance fighters who had been overenthusiastic with their Pentapi application, and ended up with many inflamed pockmarks that wouldn't go away naturally. My healing water helped, and by the time it got dark everyone was sitting happily around the campfires enthusiastically going over the lucky escape and already making plans to join other Earth Kingdom forces to fight the Fire Nation invasion.

I, however, could not settle down and kept glancing up at the sky, wondering if Aang was in trouble.

Although he had said nothing about it, I knew he couldn't understand why Bumi had ...well... to put it bluntly, _betrayed_ his people like that. I don't know if I would have gone back to look for someone who had so callously abandoned his people like Bumi did. Or if I did, at least I would've wanted some answers!

I suppose this goes to show that Aang is the better person. I would not have forgiven something like that in a hurry.

In the end, when he came, it was not on his glider. I saw him approach from the dark valley, walking dejectedly towards us and leading a large creature whom I first mistook for Appa. But it was Flopsy, King Bumi's pet, who looked just as sad as Aang did.

Aang's face said it all. 'We looked everywhere. No Bumi,'

He looked so upset at that moment, that I forgot all my resolutions, and drew Aang into an embrace.

'He's the strongest centenarian I have ever met,' I whispered, 'I know he'll survive.'

But just then Colonel Bao came up to us saying we had someone extra in our group. I heard a little baby's giggles and the next minute Momo appeared with a toddler excitedly pulling at his neck.

Momo was freaking out, so I ran forward and detached the baby, (who appeared to be around one or two years old,) so the lemur could fly off.

'He must have followed us out of Omashu somehow,' Bao said 'No-one noticed him.'

'Does anyone know who he belongs to?' Aang said, watching the little boy toddle off determinedly in Momo's direction.

The Earthbender shook his head. 'He's dressed in Fire Nation fashion,' he pointed out, darkly.

I looked around. Most of the Omashu refugees were members of the resistance. Only a small proportions were women with kids. Whoever he belonged to was certainly not among the people here. The little boy's attention had been attracted by an unattended fire. I hurried to pick him up before he fell into it.

'We can't just let him run around,' I said, lifting him up and giving him a stick to play with, 'we've got to find his mother. She must be really worried!'

'Yeah, well – we can't risk any one of us going back to Omashu now,' Colonel Bao said 'We're plague-infested, remember? That means even this child.'

'I could take him back,' Aang volunteered 'I could go on my glider and no-one will notice.'

'That may be best, Avatar,' Bao agreed, 'But I would wait till the dust settles a bit. With the curfew and the news of the Pentapox, they'll have doubled their guard. If they see you – or suspect that this baby has been in contact with us - they might not want it back.'

'His mother _will_,' I said fiercely, but the little boy was wriggling like a snake-eel in my arm, so I had to put him down and follow him around.

He was a jolly little toddler, still very wobbly on his feet and definitely unused to the rough terrain of the valley floor – he tumbled over with every few steps, because he wouldn't let me hold his hand, yet he made no fuss about it, but picked himself up and continued.

Looking after toddlers was something that I did very often back at the South Pole, for with the men gone, and during the worst months, many women had been forced to leave their traditional jobs of cooking and cleaning to go fishing or gather edible seaweed (some months, Sokka couldn't provide for the whole village alone) so I was often called upon to take care of their babies until they returned. I had forgotten what hard work looking after toddlers was!

And how rewarding!

Every so often, the tiny boy would bend down and pick a stone or some leaves or a stick and examine them with the innocent, wide-eyed wonder so typical of toddlers. Then he would hold up his treasure for me to admire. He seemed to know a few words like 'stone' and 'flower', but for most of the other stuff he touched he had no words, meaning he couldn't have seen them very often. This made me think he might have led a sheltered life.

We proceeded this way till we arrived at the last campfire, but the fearless little thing insisted on going beyond. It was very dark and I was about to pick him up and take him elsewhere when he picked up a large dead leaf and uncovered an Elephant rat. It screeched loudly at him, the sudden noise making him jump out of his skin. He ran back to me, arms outstretched and crying in fear.

'Hush, don't cry!' I whispered, rocking him gently in my arms, 'It's only a little Elephant Rat!'

I waited until his sobs quieted down. 'Look – I've got something for you!' I led him away from the dark, towards the flickering campfires and waterbended some water from my waterskin in glittering circles above his head. He was soon giggling and swiping at it. Then it was peek-a-boo, and then a tickling session. It was some time before I noticed I was quietly being observed.

Aang sat on a boulder near one of the campfires, with a small smile hovering around his lips, and a look of wonder in his eyes. He was looking at the little toddler as though he had never seen anything so unusual before.

'That looks like fun!' he said.

I grabbed the baby, who was cooing away in my ear and determinedly trying to climb on top of my head, and turned him upside down and in a cartwheel. He giggled hysterically until I stood him right way up in front of me.

''gain ! 'gain!' he cried.

'How about you have a turn at entertaining him, Aang? This is tiring!'

'Can I? That's great!' Aang airbended himself down eagerly.

'Uh...Nothing too dangerous, ok?'

Aang's idea of fun usually involves something dangerous. But I needn't have worried - the baby was soon giggling at a vortex of dry leaves Aang had airbended around him and soon the little boy was climbing enthusiastically all over Aang trying to reach the whirling things. A minute later, the toddler himself was up in the air, tumbling along with the leaves and screaming with laughter as Aang airbended him gently upwards in a slow spiral.

'Take care of him for a minute, will you Aang? I have to fetch some stuff.'

'Sure, Katara,' Aang replied, bringing the little boy down on a cushion of air.

I went quickly around the campfires asking people for some clean towelling, warm milk and soft food. It wasn't easy to gather all I needed, because most of the citizens had just brought the bare essentials with them from Omashu. But a quarter of an hour later, I was back to where I had left Aang and the baby.

And now it was my turn to observe quietly. Actually, Aang and the toddler were being anything but quiet: Aang had the baby on his back and was pretending to be a flying glider with whooshing sound effects, airbending-aided jumps from one boulder to another, accompanied by the baby's excited cries of ''gain! 'gain!'

He saw me then and they both came over to the fire.

'This kid's fun!' he panted 'but he doesn't say much.'

'They only know a few words at that age,' I said grinning 'but you're quite a natural with children, Aang'

'I don't know many babies,' he shrugged, lifting the toddler off his back and setting him down 'Air bender kids come to the temple at 5 or 6. But I met a few toddlers and babies on my travels, and when air nomad families came visiting. Hey – what's all that stuff for?'

'For him' I said handing the baby some soft fruit, 'If he has to spend the night here, I thought I'd better get some diapers ready and some baby food.'

'Tom-tom love peasch!' the toddler lisped, holding up some mashed peach in his pudgy hand.

'Is that your name?' I murmured. If we knew that at least, finding his parents would be easier. I let his attention turn back to what he was eating, then:

'Tom-Tom!' I called suddenly.

Tom-tom looked up with a smile and some more mashed peach on his turned-up little nose.

'So we have a name,' Aang said with a smile, handing me a napkin.

I wiped the little boy's face and hands and gave him a hug. He settled down happily to play with some sticks near our fire.

'I think when I take Tom-Tom back to Omashu, I'll have another look for Bumi,' Aang said, gazing into the fire 'Maybe there's someplace I overlooked.'

'With most of the earthbenders gone as well as the threat of the plague, perhaps the soldiers' guard will be down,' I said, encouragingly.

'Yeah, perhaps.' Aang's previous high spirits had dissipated and he sounded defeated, 'I looked in all the large prisons, Katara, and no-one has seen him. Omashu's so big... They could be hiding him anywhere.'

We lapsed into silence, broken only by little Tom-tom's contented gurgles as he mouthed the sticks. Much as I wanted Aang to find his old friend, I knew that time was pressing and Aang still had to learn earthbending – we couldn't afford to lose too much time looking for Bumi. We had to find another earthbending teacher.

And there was something else that made me resent wasting time at Omashu, but I didn't quite know how to tell Aang.

'Um...Aang, about Bumi-'

'I'm just having one last look, ok?!' he cut across me sharply.

'It's not only that, is it?'

He released his breath in a prolonged sigh and lowered his eyes to the ground. 'Look – I – I know what you think, Katara – I know that what Bumi did was ...' he glanced up at the many campfires dotted here and there in the valley, '...totally incomprehensible. But Bumi always did things differently, and usually in the end, the results are good. And even if not, I still want to find him.' He turned his gaze defiantly on the distant orange glow on the skyline that marked the city.

'You want answers too, though... _I_ would.'

I tried to keep the harshness in my voice to a minimum, but it was hard to think that someone who had that much power at his disposal would not even lift a finger to save his own city.

Aang turned to me, a troubled look on his face.

'Yes, I want answers' he said slowly, 'but more than that, I want to save Bumi. Even if his decision was a mistake.'

'It's a pretty costly mistake.'

'But a _mistake_, nonetheless. I can't just abandon him because of one mistake! Everyone makes mistakes!'

'Yes, but -'

'I made loads of mistakes – not only mistakes , really _bad _stuff - look what I did when I took that message Bato was waiting for! I almost broke us apart! Yet you stuck with me in the end!'

I bit my lip and looked down, shaking my head. 'We abandoned you...' I said in a low voice 'I left with Sokka -I thought _he_ needed me more, but I regretted it as soon as we were out of sight of the Abby. So did Sokka.'

'I didn't know that.'

'We had already turned back when that Shirshu monster found us. Sokka just needed some time to cool off. You see, he had already told Bato we'd be going with you to the North Pole, so he couldn't understand why you hid the message.'

'He told Bato that?' Aang's face turned a shade paler even in the warm glow of the fire.

'You didn't hear him, did you?' I asked, voicing what I had suspected at the time 'You left the room.'

He nodded silently with a stricken look on his face.

'I was convinced you were going to leave me,' he said in a small voice, 'I – I guess I just panicked. I couldn't bear to think –' His eyes flickered up to mine, but he didn't continue, and instead started fiddling with the sticks Tom-tom had abandoned. 'I'm an idiot!' he muttered.

'Well, we were too. I should've spoken to Sokka immediately. I felt that his decision was wrong.' I leaned forward slightly, trying to catch his eyes 'I'm sorry, Aang. We should've been as faithful to you as you are to Bumi, and I really _do _hope you find him tomorrow.'

We had come so close to parting ways that day, that I still tremble to think about it. Especially now. Now that I'm thinking there's something more than friendship between us. Perhaps that's what Aang was thinking, because he looked just as pale as I felt. But before he could say anything, Sokka came up to our fire together with Colonel Bao and two other earthbenders. Momo, who had followed them, was immediately pounced upon by Tom-tom, who flung his arms round his neck with a happy cry.

'Pentapox symptoms all gone!' Sokka said proudly.

'Everyone's settled down,' Bao reported, 'and we've placed some lookouts on the hills up there, but there's no sign of any unusual Fire Nation activity in Omashu. I think we're safe.'

Appa and Flopsy had settled down like two huge fluffy white boulders just beyond our campfire and Momo finally extricated himself from Tom-toms grasp. Robbed of his favourite lemur, Tom-tom turned his attention to Sokka's club. He picked it up and started chewing on it, but Sokka snatched right out of his tiny hands, making him cry.

' No! Bad Fire Nation baby!'

I whacked my brother across the head angrily. Talk about being a big bully! He grudgingly handed over his club to Tom Tom who quietened down immediately. Colonel Bao, however, seemed to think that Tom Tom could be a killer just because he's a Fire Nation baby.

_Men_... They don't understand anything at all about babies!

Babies don't have a mean bone in their bodies! They are completely and utterly innocent and have no notion of hypocrisy or deviousness! You can see everything so transparently in their eyes, even though they cannot talk – their happiness, as well as their displeasure, is written all over their guileless faces, and Tom Tom is no different from any other Southern Water Tribe baby I've looked after. He may, indeed, join the Fire Nation army when he grows up, but I want to think that by that time, there may be more soldiers who follow Jeong Jeong's lead and desert Ozai's killer armies. (Or Ozai's successor –with the avatar's return, the Fire Lord's days must surely be numbered!)

And anyway, I just couldn't find it in my heart to look in suspicious dislike, as Bao and Sokka were doing, at an innocent child.

Even now that I know who he is:-

The infant son of the Governor – the man who brought about Omashu's downfall!

As we were talking by our campfire a messenger hawk landed on a rock near us, the fire Nation insignia emblazoned on the message tube harnessed to its back.

Aang read the message. It was from the Governor and addressed to the 'cowardly kidnapper'. It proposed an exchange to take place tomorrow at noon at the base of the city's summit rock statue: his son Tom Tom, for King Bumi! I saw Aang's face change from incredulous disbelief to sheer joy at our luck!

'Tom Tom, you're a darling!' I said, hugging the little boy tightly, 'I can't believe our luck!'

'The Governors' son?' Colonel Bao had heard the message 'How on earth did he end up here? I would have thought he'd be very well protected.'

'Well, he's here now,' Aang said 'We get Bumi, the Governor his son, and everyone will be happy.'

Bao looked sceptical. 'The Governor has a teenage daughter, and an infant son. I could recognise the daughter, but I never saw the little boy up close, so I cannot vouch if this is really him. The message looks authentic though...' He had taken the message from Aang's hand and was examining it closely.

'He said his name is Tom Tom. Babies don't lie. This _is_ the Governor's son!' I said emphatically.

We discussed our plans for tomorrow late into the night. Aang had completely recovered his spirits and had absolutely no qualms about the whole exchange, but Sokka and Colonel Bao remained uncertain about it. Bao told us all he knew about the Governor and his family. He was a non-bender, but an ambitious man and a good strategist.

'Your dad's completely unlike you, Tom Tom,' I whispered in his ears as I stroked the soft, silky, baby-hair, 'But you'll see him again tomorrow. Now it's time you went to sleep, it's very late.'

Tom Tom yawned and squirmed restlessly. I looked up. Aang was some distance away talking to Colonel Bao. My brother was laying out his sleeping bag near the fire.

'Sokka, I need your help.'

'What?'

'Talk to Tom Tom while I change his diaper – they're very wriggly at this age.'

There was a frozen look of shock on Sokka's face, but he grudgingly did as I told him, holding his club for the toddler to admire while I finished dressing him.

'Why don't you leave him till tomorrow, Katara? His Mom could do this.'

I glared at him. 'I'm not even going to _answer_ you Sokka, -' I started but suddenly, Tom Tom's eyes filled with tears:

'M- m- Mama,' he cried, big fat tears trickling down his cheeks.

Sokka's words had apparently reminded the little boy of his mother and soon he was crying heartily. I drew him to me, sitting him in my lap. He protested at first, for he was overtired and overexcited, but after a awhile he calmed down and, putting his thumb in his mouth, he gazed up at me with teary eyes, his little body shaking with hiccups brought on by the crying fit. I rocked him gently, and sang him an old Water Tribe lullaby.

I thought of reproducing it here, in tribute to my mother's original intention of writing down the Southern Water Tribe's culture and traditions in her scroll:

'_Go to sleep my baby,_

_close thine moon-bright eyes, _

_let Her spirit guard you_

_from the skies above, _

_When the moon is shining,_

_And waves draw back and forth _

'_Tis the Ocean Spirit, my darling, _

_cradling thee to sleep_.'

Tom Tom's large eyes finally closed and he is asleep on my lap now, which has made writing today's events rather difficult. But this squat little Earth-Book is very sturdy, and that helped – my writing is a bit crooked, but legible.

Someone else has been listening to the lullaby. My voice was low, for the lullaby's lilting melody is intended to quieten a child to sleep, so I hadn't thought anyone was listening, but when Tom Tom fell asleep, I saw Sokka propped up on one arm, looking at us with a strange expression, and his eyes gleaming strangely. He's still awake now, in a sleeping bag near mine, looking up at the sky with his hands behind his head.

I had better lay Tom Tom down by my side now and get some sleep myself. I have to be careful not to wake him up, for tomorrow's a big day for him. Sokka is still gazing up sleeplessly at the night sky.

He looks sad, for some reason. Perhaps because Yue's brightness is shrouded by some hazy high clouds.

Or perhaps because Sokka is old enough to remember my mother singing that lullaby to me.

I wish _I_ could.

**155 th day of our journey. The hostage trade, or rather, the exchange of King Bumi and the Governor's son did not go as planned. Mainly, it was due to the intervention of three girls with prodigious fighting skills, who called the deal off.**

**At noon we were waiting for the Governor or his representative at the foot of a large statue of Ozai under construction, but the governor didn't come - his daughter did. She was the one who attacked us the night we entered the city, and was accompanied by two other teenage girls. In a metal coffin-like container, was King Bumi. Then one of the girls pointed out that a two-year old and a King was not a balanced exchange. Tom Tom's sister called the deal off.**

It was Tom Tom who woke me up in the morning. I felt him stir against me and next minute he was awake. I thought he'd be upset at not finding his mom by his side, but on the contrary, he was full of beans and fascinated by my sleeping bag. He crawled right in, exploring what was, for him, a novel way of sleeping.

I got out, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and went to get our stuff to prepare breakfast. Sokka was still asleep but Aang, as usual, was already awake, feeding Appa some dry grass.

When I got back Tom Tom had moved over to Sokka and was determinedly pushing himself inside his sleeping bag. I grinned as Sokka woke up with a startled shout.

'Look after him for a while, will you?' I said to the two of them 'I'm off to get more firewood.'

When I came back, to my surprise, I found Sokka teaching Tom Tom how to hold a Boomerang properly, and Aang had built him a glider-replica from sticks.

It was like that all morning – Sokka trying to teach Tom Tom the basics of Water Tribe weaponry ( much like he had done with the children back at the South Pole), and, a couple of times, I caught him trying to teach the toddler to repeat rude stuff about the Fire Nation army. When he wasn't with Sokka, he was playing rambunctious games with Aang, which he really enjoyed. In fact, towards noon, as we headed off towards Omashu, he wanted Aang to carry him.

Aang was in good spirits, but Sokka and I were in some trepidation about the upcoming hostage exchange. However, Appa was saddled and ready, so Aang handed Tom-tom to me and took the reins.

It was nerve-wracking approaching Omashu in broad daylight on a flying bison – even though we were fairly sure we would not be attacked while Tom Tom was with us, still, if Appa was recognised, Aang's presence would be given away.

But Aang had come up with a plan together with Colonel Bao. They had sent the messenger hawk back with a proposed place for the hostage exchange at one of the highest points in the city: a statue of Ozai still under construction.

We flew at a very high altitude, obscured by some patchy white clouds and then dropped down like a stone once above Omashu. Appa dropped us off on a wooden platform on the scaffolding surrounding the statue.

I don't think any of the Fire Nation soldiers and guards posted round the city walls saw us drop in – their attention was fixed on the only way in or out of the city: the main gates that led to the newly-constructed metal bridge spanning the chasm. From our vantage point, we could see that the governor had posted a lot of soldiers there in expectance of our arrival.

However, it was not long before some of them began pointing at the statue- they had seen us.

I handed Tom Tom to Sokka and got ready.

I wasn't surprised to see his sister had been sent to handle the exchange – she was a formidable opponent. She was accompanied by two other girls and Bumi himself, grinning nonchalantly from a metal, coffin-like container. One of the girls had a haughty face, disdain etched into every feature. For some strange reason, she looked vaguely familiar somehow. Though she hardly looked any older than me, the cold, calculating look in her eyes, and self-assured, domineering stare marked her out as someone I should keep my eye on.

The third girl was an unknown. Unlike the other two she did not have a hard, belligerent expression; instead she looked naively sweet-natured. I wished _she_ was Tom- Tom's sister – especially when his _real_ sister callously turned her back on her own baby brother, because she did not think him fit to exchange with King Bumi!

'The deal's off!' his sister said, dispassionately, signalling for Bumi to be taken away again.

How could she _do_ that?! How could she abandon her helpless baby brother like that!? Did this girl have a heart?

It was Aang who attacked first – I think the sight of Bumi in his metal coffin being lifted back up again was just too much. He rushed at the three girls, and the haughty one leapt into action. I had heard tell of firebending skills that could bend lightening but I had thought them just rumours.

They weren't. Crackling blue lightening shot out of her hands, barely missing Aang. I had never seen anything like it!

I readied myself for battle. The first real battle since I left the North Pole. I knew we were facing at least two - possibly three - highly skilled fighters, but this time, it was different – this time, I was a bending _master_ and therefore someone to be reckoned with! Especially Tom Tom's sister – her brutal indifference to her own sibling was something that shocked me.

The firebender, who had recognised Aang as the Avatar, stuck to him with the single-minded doggedness of a Tiger seal after its Shrimp-fish.

I shouted to Sokka to get the baby out of there, for his sister had several deadly blades protruding from beneath her sleeve and she was ready to launch them in our direction. (Did she even care that she could easily kill her own brother that way?)

Unfortunately, it wasn't long before I discovered how looks could be deceiving – the girl with the sweet face turned out to have the most unexpected and scary weapon of all.

I kept the two girls at bay while Sokka used the bison whistle to call Appa. I had managed to immobilise the knife-throwing girl, when I realised the other one had disappeared. Suddenly, she came up behind me and jabbed me sharply with her fingers in several parts of my arms and shoulders.

It was the strangest sensation I had ever felt – not painful – more like an instantaneous weakness. It took me a few seconds to realise she had hit me exactly on the main pressure points of the Chi pathways, and this fact was driven home to me when I tried to bend and found that I couldn't!

Thankfully, Sokka appeared on Appa just at that moment and his boomerang deflected the knife-thrower's next batch of deadly blades. I climbed thankfully into the saddle, my arms still weak and a voice screaming in my head _that I couldn't bend!_

This was much worse than when I my hands were burnt – this time, I knew my bending was gone – not diminished or damaged, but gone _entirely._ The edge of panic tore at my thoughts but I pushed it away – Master Pakku had always taught us to act on the here and now, and push any distractions from our mind – whatever they were. Sometimes, survival was just as important as winning a fight. This time, I knew I had to survive to live another day, if not fight another day. There were others who needed me.

'Where's Tom Tom?' I asked, looking at the empty saddle.

'I put him somewhere safe for now,' Sokka replied.

Just then, I caught sight of Aang. He was riding Bumi's coffin-container down a chute, pursued by the Fire-bending girl. We tried to catch him as the coffin flew off the chute and sailed right above our heads, but we missed and Aang and Bumi landed once more on the mailchute system, breaking right through one and falling onto another – then sped out of sight.

It was some time before we found where they had ended up. Actually, we found Aang alone looking at an empty mailing chute beneath some scaffolding.

'Where's Bumi?' Sokka shouted.

Aang indicated somewhere half-way up the chute. Bumi's coffin was sliding upwards – he was _earthbending_ himself upwards!

'He could earthbend all this time,' Aang said as he climbed on Appa. 'They didn't cover his face.'

'He – _what?_' I was astounded 'He can earth bend with his _face?_!'

That was something new. I can't imagine not using my arms and hands to earthbend! Or rather – I suppose I was just finding out how it feels not being able to bend _at all_. The demons I was trying to keep at bay threatened to overwhelm me. Had I become a non-bender? What had that girl _done_ to me?! I suppressed a shudder – I couldn't go to pieces again like I had done when Aang had burnt my hands – and besides, if Bumi can earthbend with his face (earthbenders use their legs and feet a lot) then perhaps there was some hope for me.

'What' d'ya mean, 'he could earth bend all along'?!' Sokka was saying, 'Then why didn't he get away? Why didn't he _do_ something?!'

'That's what I asked him, Sokka,' Aang replied. He looked subdued but not as upset as before, 'He said the time was not right.'

'Time not right, huh?' Sokka scowled 'With the second largest Earth Kingdom city in Fire Nation hands, I don't see what he's waiting for! I hope his crazy strategy works, whatever it is.'

'Well, anyhow, it means we have to look for another earth bending teacher,' Aang said resignedly, 'He's not leaving Omashu.'

'Hey, guys,' I interrupted 'perhaps we should go get Tom Tom now. Where is he, Sokka?'

Sokka pulled Appa's reins and took the bison down a labyrinthine structure made of broken scaffolding and what appeared to be abandoned building projects. There, in a steep-sided wagon, was Tom Tom. The wagon was full of hay and he had fallen asleep. Aang airbended himself off Appa, collected the sleeping boy, and then we flew straight up and out of Omashu.

I expected fireballs to arch across the afternoon sky and try to blow us out of the sky, but none came. Perhaps the Governor and his wife were more concerned for Tom-Tom's safety than their daughter was, and gave orders not to shoot.

Once outside Omashu, we kept to a high altitude and then flew to back to the Kolau Mountain range. We landed towards evening, in the first sheltered spot we could find. There were no signs of the refugees from Omashu – they're probably on their way to Ba Sing Se by now.

Sokka and Aang started to set up camp. Tom Tom had woken up and was running about the place. He pulled at my hand a couple of times but I didn't feel like playing. Worrying thoughts crowded my brain and though I felt fine, yet I didn't know how to tell the other two I couldn't bend any more.

Actually, Sokka had seen what happened . Even as that thought crossed my mind, I glanced up and saw my brother speaking in a low voice to Aang, and then they both looked in my direction.

I got up quickly, not wanting to see a look of pity in Aang's eyes, and went down to a small mountain stream just beyond the camp. If Bumi could still bend even when confined to a metal coffin, then I would find a way ... I _had_ to find a way... I didn't want to be a liability for Aang, instead of a help. But a waterbender uses arm and hand movements a lot, and that is where that girl had hit me...

The babbling of the little mountain brook taunted me... it should be so easy to reach out and just bend that water... I sat down by the water's edge and reached out with my hand, fingers splayed, but then something held me back….

What if nothing happened? I clenched my fingers into a fist and let my hand fall limply by my side.

The sound of gurgling laughter behind me made me turn round. Aang had Tom-Tom riding on his shoulders, and the little boy was pointing at me eagerly.

'He wanted you,' Aang explained, lifting him off his shoulders and setting him down.

I pulled Tom Tom onto my lap, smoothing his hair. Bits of straw were still stuck in it.

'Actually, I wanted to see you, too,' Aang said 'Sokka told me what happened.'

'I'm fine, Aang. I'm not hurt or anything –' But my voice quivered.

'You know what I mean, Katara. Bad enough you've been through this once before. Have you – have you tried to bend again?'

'I'm afraid to,' I whispered.

He said nothing for a minute but when he spoke again there was anger in his voice: 'We'll get your bending back, Katara, even if I have to kidnap that girl and _make_ her put it right!'

'You'll do no such thing! We can't go back to Omashu now. We have to find you an earthbending teacher – we've lost enough time as it is. I'll – I'll figure a way. Perhaps whatever she did to me can be healed...'

'Yeah, that's right – you're a healer! You learned loads of stuff from Yagoda!'

I smiled wanly. 'So it's healer, heal thyself, right?'

'Only one way to find out.'

Aang gave me an encouraging smile and waterbended a sphere of water out of the stream. Tom Tom gurgled excitedly on my lap and held out pudgy hands to catch the glistening ball. Aang whirled the water in a graceful arch once around himself and then, as he had done countless times before during our practise sessions, he sent it in my direction.

I moved in the instinctive way born out of many hundreds of hours of practice, and caught the water deftly, and waterbended it back again into a sphere. Tom Tom screamed in delight and swatted the water, sending glistening droplets everywhere.

A huge wave of relief flooded through me, and I laughed with Tom Tom, water bending what was left of the water into spiral stream for his amusement. My waterbending was back and it felt as good as ever!

'I didn't even _try_ to heal myself,' I said, looking up excitedly at Aang 'It just came back!'

'Perhaps whatever that girl did is just temporary,' Aang looked as relieved as I felt.

'She aimed at the Chi pathways - that must've had something to do with it. I'm so relieved!'

Tom Tom tumbled off my lap and made his way towards the stream.

'Uh...about Tom Tom,' Aang said 'Sokka and I think we should take him back tonight.'

'Oh, right...I'm going to miss the little guy!'

'Yeah, me too.'

'How're we going to take him back?'

'Under cover of darkness. Appa can fly us half-way there and I'll go the rest of the way on my glider. I know where the Governor's house is.'

'Great idea. I'll make a baby harness so he'll be safe while you're airborne –'

There was a sudden splash and Tom Tom tumbled right into the little brook. He looked momentarily surprised as he sat in the shallow water, but then philosophically started fishing out small pebbles from the bottom, completely unperturbed by what happened.

We fished him out, laughing, but little Tom Tom wanted to go right back in.

'Well – he's filthy,' I said fishing some more straws out of his hair 'I might as well give him a good wash. I don't want his parents worrying he's been uncared for while he was with us.'

So we bathed the little baby and washed his clothes, and Aang airbended them dry. Later, I fashioned a harness from some towelling for Aang to carry Tom Tom with.

As I worked, I couldn't stop grinning: mainly because of the overwhelming relief of knowing my bending has returned. Letting Tom Tom go was bittersweet and I gave him a big hug before I helped Aang strap the baby to him.

I hope he will remember us – for a little while, at least.

I'm writing this while waiting for Aang to come back – it makes me feel really good to know that one distraught father and mother will sleep happily with their son tonight. I know that we still have a lot of hurdles to tackle: the fact that we're back to the beginning with Aang's earthbending is one big setback, but the euphoric feeling from knowing my bending is back makes me feel like I can handle anything.

Well, almost anything.

I still haven't forgotten what happened in the lovers' cave, and that's one thing I'm struggling to handle.

It's a secret still burning inside me, but a secret it will have to remain. In a way, I'm glad we got caught up in Omashu's troubles because it gave Aang and I something more important to focus on, and it also proved that we can all still work together really well, without awkwardness.

I think we might have come close to losing that, or worse, had Aang said anything. As it is, we can always pretend that what happened in the cave was just the effect of being carried away by the story of the two lovers...

Given the huge setback with finding an earthbending teacher, we cannot afford any more distractions now. Aang has a lot on his plate and needs to concentrate on training. He tends to let his friendships interfere too much with his duties: he refused to firebend because he hurt me; at the North Pole he refused to learn waterbending well so as not to risk hurting my pride…

Oh, my. Come to think of it, _I_ seem to have always been at the root of his past problems with bending…

This can't be good.

I mean it _is_, in a way, for it makes me feel selfishly warm inside to think that he cares so much…but it's not good for an _Avatar_ to have these kind of distractions …

And I'm not immune to distractions myself.

I remember when we were on board the Northern Water Tribe ship, and that storm blew up, a moments distraction on my part ( and I had been looking at Aang – even Master Pakku noticed!) almost cost the life of one of us. Onartak had been swept overboard because I hadn't paid attention to doing my duty!

That scares me.

I have to listen to my _head_ this time, not my heart, and I'm convinced now that we must put what happened in the cave behind us and concentrate on what's important. For both our sakes, but especially the Avatar's.

One day perhaps...when all this is behind us...


	29. Chapter 29

**158 th day of our journey. We are now concentrating on finding Aang an earthbending teacher. But the Earth Kingdom is vast and it's difficult to know where to start looking. On a whim, my brother suggested going South East as that part of the Earth Kingdom is closest to the ancestral home of the last great Earthbending Avatar, Kyoshi. It is as good an idea as any we've had yet, so we're heading in that direction. **

**Perhaps being so close to Kyoshi's birthplace, there's more likelihood of finding a good earthbending school**

**We have left the arid Kolau mountains behind us, and the terrain has become progressively flatter, greener and warmer. Tonight, we are camping in a very marshy area. This region seems to be devoid of any human habitation, which is a good thing for us, since we don't want to tangle with any more Fire Nation soldiers. We still have some supplies and money left over from Northern Water Tribe and from when we stayed at General Fong's fortress, but since then, we haven't seen any villages or markets and we have nothing that's fresh. However, the fishing should be good in these marshy wetlands. **

**I hope we find some friendly town or village, because otherwise we'll never find an earthbender to teach Aang.**

The problem is, after the tense time in Omashu, the past few days have been relatively calm and I find myself thinking more and more often about events _before_ we arrived at Omashu. We spend a lot of time in the air, travelling, so I've had time enough to think.

I keep going over and over what happened in the Cave of two lovers... but all this thinking hasn't cleared up my mind – in fact, I feel more confused than ever.

Aang hasn't said a word either.

Not that he's had much chance to, in the close confines of an air bison's saddle, where we seem to be spending most of our time. Mostly, I take out the ornate wooden box marked with the Northern Water Tribe symbol, take out the waterbending scrolls, and pretend to read them. And when we set up camp... well ….I find myself avoiding being alone with Aang.

I haven't even suggested practising waterbending. It used to be the highlight of my day and these marshy wetlands would be an ideal place to do some waterbending exercises, but now I'm afraid of what it might lead to.

Aang can hardly have missed something like this - it's a big, gaping hole in our daily routine.

Perhaps that's why he hasn't tried to mention anything again.

Oh gosh – I don't want to be mean or stand-offish, but at the same time, I don't want to risk our friendship over what happened back in the Kolau mountain tunnels. It isn't only our friendship that I would be risking – Aang's the Avatar, and the last Airbender and I have a niggling feeling that these two factors pose problems I'm not even seeing at this point!

And anyway, perhaps Aang hasn't said anything simply because he doesn't _want_ to. Perhaps it wasn't so wonderful for him (I keep thinking that his first reaction back in that cave was to tell me that he'd only kiss me as a last resort!) Yes, I know that might have been due to the sudden awkwardness, but still, under the circumstances, it sort of _was_ a last resort.

What if Aang doesn't think of me that way at all, and what happened had been brought on under the influence of the lover's tale in that dark place, and the dire circumstances?

Then again, I can't forget about the kiss...and how even now, whenever he's close to me, I feel the thrill of that secret invisibly vibrating between us...

There I go again – emotions swinging first one way then another, till I don't know what to _think_ anymore! That's partly to blame, in fact – too much time to think. I find myself wishing for some action, or finding an earthbending teacher or something – anything – to take my mind off this.

It seems to be the only thing that writing in this book hasn't cleared up! Looking back at what I've written about that day in the cave of two lovers, I can hardly believe I'm in so much doubt and confusion now.

I wish someone would tell me what to do, what the right way forward is. I wish I could _talk_ to someone! Someone I can trust and someone who understands me...

I wish I could talk to my mother.

She would understand me, and if there's someone who really knows about love, it's her. Perhaps she can explain what trusting in love really means... _those who trust in love..._the words of the old legend of the two lovers keep echoing in my head, but what does it really mean? Trust the love you already feel, or trust that love will lead you to the right person? And should someone who trusts in love have so many questions and doubts? For one brief instance, back in that cave, there had been no doubts and no questions – everything seemed wondrously clear, but since then...

Sometimes I tell myself that it's all just a legend, and the glowing crystals were nothing more than a very practical way for Oma and Shu to find each other in that labyrinth. As Sokka would surely say, there's nothing mysterious about that, and it has more to do with geology and gemmology than with trusting in love. My brother, after all, found his way out of the cave on a Badgermole.

And yet... the archaic letters etched in the cave wall _did_ say love was brightest in the dark and perhaps Oma and Shu weren't the only ones who found love there, in the dark.

Perhaps…. I still don't know.

And my Mom is in a place where I cannot talk to her or seek her advice. She's gone forever.

There – even writing that was hard. Even though her memory, like her pendant, are still so close to me, it's not the same thing as having her beside me, explaining these things…

I would even be glad to speak to Gran Gran. After meeting Pakku and Yagoda at the North Pole, I kinda see my grandmother through different eyes. She, after all, turned her back on someone who sincerely loved her. I got the impression from Yagoda that Kanna reciprocated Pakku's love, but couldn't stand his attitude. Does that mean that she didn't trust in the love she felt for Pakku? Or did she see, in her own resistance to tradition, a bigger scope and more important things than her love for her betrothed? Did she let love lead her to the South Pole and to my Grandfather, instead? I wish I knew. But Gran Gran is hundreds of miles away at this moment, and even she cannot help me now.

I can't help wondering what they will say to each other when Pakku gets to the South Pole. I don't know if Gran Gran trusted in love to lead the way, or turned her back on a love that was already there. In either case, that decision has had a profound influence on the course of events – I would not be sitting here writing this if her decision had been any different from what it was...

Which brings me back to the original problem: how do I trust in love and where will love lead me? One decision can have so many profound effects.

Oh, spirits! I must stop thinking like this. I must stop _thinking_! I hope tomorrow we find a village or town and do something constructive. At this point, I would welcome even a skirmish with Fire Nation soldiers -just to have something to do, other than think!

**160 th day of our journey. While flying over increasingly marshy wetlands, a freak tornado blew us right out of the skies. We landed in a swamp and the Avatar, Sokka and I were separated from Appa and Momo.**

**The swamp is a very strange place, and after a while, we found out we were not alone. A strange monstrous being made of vines attacked us, and though we fought back, any damage to his body was easily repaired. Eventually, we noticed there was a man inside the vines, bending the water inside them to bring a vine monster to life. He turned out to be quite friendly when we convinced him we intended no harm to the beloved swamp.**

**His name was Huu, and he was a waterbender. He took us to a huge Banyan grove tree, the heart of all the swamp, and said he had achieved enlightenment under that tree. The swamp is a place that's thrumming with life and Huu said all living beings are connected to each other. The Avatar used this knowledge to find out where Appa and Momo where.**

**It turned out that they had been captured by a tribe of swamp dwellers and we set off to free them. To our surprise, the swamp-dwellers are a water-bending people and Hue knew them, so after an initially confrontational meeting, we made peace with them and have now been welcomed to their village for the night. **

Me and my big mouth! I shouldn't have wished for action, because I got more than I bargained for!

The place we were flying over already had an ominous feel to it, so when Aang said the earth was calling to him, I just wanted to get out of there! If Aang was hearing things _we_ could not, then perhaps he was hearing spirits. Thick, ancient forests may have belligerent spirits in them, and if this dense, swampy wetland forest had its own Hei Bei, I did not want to end up as I had in Senlin village – distraught and alone while Aang and my brother where in the spirit world.

Aang had just reluctantly agreed to give the swamp a miss, when it came upon us – a huge funnel of whirling air! Right of the clear, blue sky it twisted viciously on itself in destructive frenzy, with a noise like a screaming whistle. Appa could not outfly it and it swayed closer, eagerly snatching stuff off our saddle.

Sokka was one of them – if I hadn't held on to him, he'd have been sucked right off the saddle and swallowed by that towering tornado! Aang realised that we couldn't outrun the thing and a split second before it hit us, he created an enormous sphere of air all around us, Appa included. The protective bubble worked immediately, and Sokka and I fell back in the saddle as the wind was suddenly switched off. The noise wasn't, however, and the screaming winds were louder as the two opposing air currents battled each other. Aang's face was screwed up with the effort of bending the air, but then something went wrong.

I don't know what happened, but suddenly I was spinning round in a maelstrom of debris – I didn't know where was up and where was down. Aang's protective sphere must have collapsed somehow, I found myself falling. Or rather, flying through the air at an incredible speed. Next instant, branches and leaves were lashing my head and body, twigs snapping as I plunged through the thick forest below. I brought my arms up to protect my face but my yell was lost in the sound of breaking branches. I didn't even have enough time to realise I might be plunging to my doom, before I landed with a huge splash in some shallow water.

The familiar feel of water roused me and I was soon struggling to my feet, feeling as though I had been beaten by a thousand sticks. My brother had landed not too far away and Aang airbended himself to a slow halt beside us.

I looked around – we were in a swamp and the tree canopy was so thick that the bright daytime sun was completely filtered out. Probably, the trees and the water had saved our lives by breaking our fall.

Appa and Momo were nowhere to be seen. Appa must have been flung off at a slower, shorter distance, being much heavier than we are. Momo's much lighter, so unless he hung on to Appa's saddle, he would have been flung furthest with the force of the tornado.

'They'll be fine, Aang,' I said as he came back down from the canopy above, where he'd gone to look for them. 'Wherever they landed. Why don't you call Appa on the Bison whistle?'

'I don't have it with me. It's packed in our stuff. Besides –I don't think Appa can fly through a place like this.'

We looked at the tangled vines and lianas festooning the trees like cobwebs. Even in the dim light of the swamp, I could see how densely the trees grew – it would be impossible for Appa to fly here– it was difficult enough for us to get through, let alone a ten-ton bison.

The air was very humid and warm, and water was everywhere. As Sokka noted, there was no land. Whatever was out of the water was some part of a tree – thick trunks, roots, branches and a variety of large-leaved undergrowth as well as lots of dead or decaying leaves that formed matted clumps between the roots and branches. New seedlings and strange flora was even growing out of these wads of decaying leaves! In every single inch something was growing, and yet, apart from hundreds of tiny flying bugs, nothing moved in the swamp... There were no air currents to move the leaves or wind rustling in the trees – just an expectant, motionless mass of life in varying shades of green, greys and browns.

It was a bit unnerving.

Sokka starting swinging his machete to cut a path through the thick undergrowth, but this made Aang nervous.

'Maybe... we should be a little nicer to the swamp,' he said.

Aang was speaking about the swamp as though it was a sentient being or something. Like me, he felt there was something different here, something 'alive' in an inexplicable way, not only in a biological way.

Sokka had no such compunction and continued to cut a swath through the undergrowth. 'I'm sure there are lots of things that are alive here, and if we don't wanna wind up getting eaten by them, we need to find Appa as fast as we can.'

'Yeah, you have a point there, Sokka, but let's try and go easy on the machete-swinging. You're disturbing more bugs like that, anyway.' I thought appealing to something practical would convince Sokka more.

'Just a bit more - there. It's not so dense here. C'mon!' Sokka climbed out of the water onto a huge fallen log and we followed.

We came out into a sort of clearing – just as dim, but with enough fallen trees and thick air-roots to be able to navigate through the swamp without having to wade through the leach-infested water.

'It's difficult to get any bearings down here,' Sokka said, looking up at the faint light filtering through the canopy above.

'I think we should go that way' Aang said pointing to a place where the Banyan-grove trees appeared larger darker and older 'I checked when I was up there, above the canopy. If Appa was flung in the same direction by the tornado, he'd have landed roughly in that direction.'

'You sure about that?' Sokka asked.

'No.'

Sokka made a sound of exasperation. 'Great. Let's get a move on anyway.'

We walked for _hours_. I think. It's not easy to get an idea of the passage of time in this dim swamp. The banyan grove trees got larger with aerial roots that were as big as the trunk, if not more. I got the impression that we were heading towards an older, more firmly established part of the swamp or else the waterways were smaller and more overshadowed by the branches and roots of the banyan grove trees. We called and called, but never once heard Appa's answering rumble, or Momo's distinctive chittering. I knew Appa could take care of himself, but I was starting to get worried about the little lemur – if alone in this place he would be more difficult to find ( though admittedly, the little guy had bugs aplenty to feast on!)

Finally, even the dim greenish light that filtered through the canopy above was gone, and we knew night had fallen. I wondered whether we had been wondering around in circles – even back home in the South Pole, where night lasts for months on end, we have the stars in the sky to navigate by, but down here, there was nothing but darkness. Much as I love the familiarity of water all around me, yet this place, waterlogged as it is, made me uneasy with its brooding sense of something hidden, waiting...

Sokka finally called a halt. I think we were all glad to stop for the idea of continuing in the now-impenetrable darkness did not appeal to any of us. Down here, without even faint starlight to relieve the darkness, and who knows what lurked in this old swamp?

Our sense of foreboding grew as strange night-sounds broke the silence of the swamp. There was a strange hiss, followed by an incredible stench of death and decay. Was it the sound of the souls of the dead escaping from a decaying body? But Sokka explained this away as Swamp-gas, saying there was nothing supernatural about that. Everything had to have a logical explanation for Sokka, but when a terrifying, unearthly scream shattered the still night air around us, he, as well as Aang, flung their arms around me, terrified. My heart stopped and the hair on the nape of my neck stood on end as the horrible scream came again, reverberating all around us - despair and anguish and terror were concentrated in that scream as it rent the night air, and something small and white floated away between the trees.

'It's the spirits of the dead! They're haunting us!' I cried, clutching my face in fear.

'I think we should build a fire...' Sokka said, shakily 'But that was just a white bird, Katara – I saw it clearly.'

'How can you _see clearly_ in this place?' I said, but Sokka was already running over to some nearby trees.

'Weird bird, huh?' Aang said, as we followed Sokka.

'Did you see it, then?'

'Well, it was _flying_ like a bird.' Aang replied with a small shrug, 'So I guess it was. Definitely not my favourite birdsong, though.'

'Yeah...well, I hope you're both right,' I retorted 'But still, something about this place gives me the creeps.'

Aang had seen Sokka cutting down some wood to make a fire: 'Sokka, the longer we're here the more I think you shouldn't be doing that'.

I wasn't the only one to think there was something belligerent about this place, even if the floating white thing was only a bird. Sokka, of course, ignored Aang's warning and he was soon trying to get a fire going on a huge flat ledge over the swamp formed by the roots of a dead banyan-grove tree. It took a long time, for everything in this place is damp or waterlogged, but eventually we did get a small fire going. Which was just as well, for the night-noises of the swamp were getting louder: it wasn't only the whirring and buzzing of the myriad bugs that the smoke from the fire kept away, but there were now mysterious scatterings and rustlings all around us that weren't there during the 'day'.

I kept feeling that we were being watched, and when later, as we were sitting around the fire, Sokka swiped at a bug and it turned into a point of incandescent white light, we knew we were not alone - a hundred pairs of eyes reflected the Glowfly's light, every one of them fixed upon us. I had been edgy enough, but when I saw those glowing pupils looking down at me, I yelled and flung myself on Aang. This time, surrounded by the incontrovertible truth of those eyes looking down at us, Sokka was scared too.

'They're all around us! What are they?' I cried, 'How can we go to sleep like this?'

'Um...perhaps they're _friendly_ night creatures?' Aang said, in a voice that said he was not too convinced.

'Yeah – very friendly. Bet they're got teeth and claws to show you just how friendly they can be!' Sokka said sarcastically, disengaging himself from the group huddle we'd fallen into.

I reluctantly followed suit. I got the feeling that the swamp saw us as intruders and wanted us out of there! I've faced enemies before, and wasn't scared, but hours in this eerie place facing the unknown had undermined my courage in a way I hate to admit.

'Look guys, we need to get some sleep. We've walked for miles, and we may have a long hike tomorrow,' Sokka was saying, as the glowing eyes all faded into the darkness beyond our campfire 'let's sit back-to-back, that way we'll be prepared for an attack from any direction.'

We shuffled around to do as he said.

'I'll take first watch, and I'll rouse you if I hear anything, or when I get too tired to keep my eyes open.' Sokka instructed 'Now try to get some rest.'

Try to get some rest indeed! The swamp was now alive with the croaking, buzzing and chittering of night creatures. Knowing they could only be feet away, looking down on us with hungry eyes meant I couldn't get to sleep.

Aang was on my left side in lotus position. I don't think he was meditating, for he was slumped back in a more relaxed way, though very still. His warm weight on my side comforted me. At least I wasn't alone in this eerie place. At my back, his heavier weight pushing me forward, I could feel Sokka fidgeting slightly as he played with his machete. My brother was there too – he'd tell us if something dared come beyond the protective circle of our campfire.

A slow mist was rising from the swamp water and the air had turned slightly chillier – this swirling whiteness, or else the constant humming and chirping of insect life around us had a mesmerising effect – or else it was simply the warmth and comfort of having Aang and Sokka so close to me… I don't know….but I must have drifted off to sleep.

Next thing I knew, someone had grabbed me by the ankle and was pulling me inexorably along the damp ground. I yelled, shaken abruptly awake from a dream in which white floating things screamed agonisingly at me. What I woke up to was not far from my nightmare. There were vines around me – but not normal vines: I could feel them twisting sinuously around my body even as they dragged me away. The life pulsating within those vines was odd and unnaturally forceful - nothing like the gentle flow I can sometimes sense within growing plants...

I heard the others shouting too and I guessed the same fate had befallen them. Suddenly the vines stopped dragging me, but they didn't let go. I struggled to my feet and the more I moved, the more the vines tried to strangulate me.

Perhaps the sleep had refreshed me – or perhaps I'd had enough of being scared – and besides, the others needed me. In fact, I was feeling decidedly _irritated_: no plant should behave that way! I managed to free my hands enough to bend some water into a razor sharp whip and lashed at the vine – a bit more than was strictly necessary, in fact – until I had the unnatural thing in pieces around me.

Once free, I tried to get my bearings. I was alone and it was still dark, but either my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, or there was a moon somewhere above the canopy and its light penetrated enough to lift the gloom – or else we had slept through the night and dawn was approaching. In any case, there was a blue-grey light filtering down that allowed me to see what the mist didn't obscure.

There were no signs of the others and I called their names in vain. Another thing I noticed was that it had gone eerily silent again. Perhaps if dawn was approaching, the night-creatures had retired to their dens.

Getting rid of the vine encouraged me and even though I had ended up on my own, I knew I had to keep a calm head.

'Always keep your wits about you in a tight spot,' Master Pakku used to tell me 'Never give in to panic or it may be the last thing you do. In a fight, you must always keep a clear head, for you need it to think fast!'

Well, this wasn't a fight – yet – but if something leapt out at me again from those dark trees, I had to be prepared. As I walked through the undergrowth, the landscape (if you can call it that) changed a little – for one thing, I could smell something incredibly beautiful and very different from the ubiquitous smell of plant decay and swamp-gas in this place. It reminded me of jasmine … At first I thought it was the mist that smelt so, but then I noticed clumps of delicate white flowers growing along the aerial roots of the trees around this place. They were beautiful, frond-like sprays of them adorning the grey roots I hadn't noticed before. Perhaps they only grew here in this part of the swamp, or perhaps they only opened at this time of the night or early morning. Their perfume is difficult to describe, but it felt ...well… _feminine _somehow, and the flowers and the mist gave the place a magical feel to it, rather than an ominous one.

Then I saw someone – someone dressed in Water Tribe blue! In this world of greens and browns, that ocean-blue colour stood out sharply.

Perhaps I had been thinking of Pakku... I blinked and rubbed my eyes, but the figure was still there, blue-robed and slender...too slender to be Pakku. I moved closer. A woman, for I could see long hair down her back. A Water tribe woman? _Here?!_ She had her back to me, and somehow I knew that there was no need to be afraid. She stood there, barely 10 yards away, her figure rising from the mist as though born of the mist, like some ethereal being.

**'**Hello? Hello? Can you help me?' I called, willing the young woman to turn around.

She didn't seem to hear me, but there was something familiar about that figure. Something about the design on the robes...something about the style of hair, those blue beads placed just so, right above the braid... faded memories stirred deep within my mind. I had seen that hair being braided a hundred times before...

'Mom?'

My voice came out as a choked whisper, but the faded memories suddenly came to the surface of my mind, sparkling clear and sharp. Yes, the white fur beneath the dark blue waist-band, the undulating wave-design around the sleeve and hem...

I knew who she was.

'Mom!' I jumped into the shallow water and ran towards her with tears in my eyes, just as she half-turned a bit so I could see part of her face!

This place was sacred to the spirits! It had to be! This was my Mom coming back to me from the Spirit world. Is that where she had been gone? This was amazing! I would stay in this place forever – I would never leave her side again and she would never leave mine! I had found my Mom again and I was unimaginably happy to be given this opportunity!

All these thoughts were running disjointedly in my head as I ran up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

**'**I can't believe-' I started, but my words froze in my mouth as my hand touched something hard, cool and damp, instead of the warmth of flesh.

A gnarled, dead, tree stump rose out of the water before me, mocking me out of its ugly, slimy, decayed bark.

My mother was gone. Gone, just about when I was ready to fall into her arms and embrace her; just as a million things I wanted to ask her had already formed in my mind. I wanted to hug her and feel her arms around me too, telling me she'll always love me. I wanted to beg her forgiveness for having cost her her life. I wanted to tell her there had been many times I wished she hadn't, and it was only the thought that her sacrifice would have been in vain, that had made me struggle to survive.

I wanted to tell her that survive I did, and was selfishly grateful for it.

I sank to my knees in the shallow water in front of that old stump and sobbed my heart out, surrounded by the beautiful smell of the misty swamp flowers. I had been so convinced of the magical nature of this place, I didn't think it was a hallucination or a vision – I actually believed I would have her beautiful blue eyes gaze at me again.

'My, how you've grown, Katara,' she would say, and stroke my face lovingly and stick my errant loopies back into my braid when they came loose. That is what she _used_ to do.

She will never touch me again.

I don't know how long I remained there - it felt like I was mourning her loss all over again, and it was hard. So, so hard. No wonder Aang was so upset when he thought he had discovered a surviving airbender back at the Northern Air Nomad territories, only to discover that it was a trap set by Zhao. This is how he must have felt.

I don't know why this happened: the vision was so clear: every little detail of her clothes and hair- and the memory had come back to me so forcefully that now I was missing her so bad it hurt like a physical pain. It had felt this way, years ago, in the early days following her death, when it had finally dawned on me that Mom would never come back again.

It was some time before I gathered my wits about me and went to look for the others. I did not want them to find me red-eyed and tear-stained, so I struggled to regain some composure. Perhaps I had seen the vision because I was thinking about Mom so often in recent days. There isn't a day when I don't think about her, but recently, I really felt the need of a heart-to-heart with someone who understands al about love.

Mom knew about love. A _lot_. And I feel she would have understood me. Gran Gran did, too... perhaps more than I ever gave her credit for – Gran Gran and I clashed often enough the last couple of years after the men left out tribe. She had her hands full with caring for everyone, and I think she was a bit over-protective where I was concerned...with good reason, I suppose, but still...Or perhaps, as Tutega insisted, it was just my 'teenagerness' showing through. Tutega (and some other women of the tribe) spoke as though it's some medical condition you get when you hit your teens. You're supposed to be all rebellious and stuff... I guess I recognise some of those symptoms, but I think, had Mom been around, it wouldn't have happened.

Anyway, it didn't last long. Aang saw to that – he was the one who (unknowingly) changed Gran Grab's mind into letting us go...

I'm so glad he did. It is the best thing that could have happened to me. And I am _here _now and I know what my duty is. I took a deep breath, putting all the ghosts of the past to the back of my mind. I had to concentrate on finding Aang and Sokka now.

Next thing I knew, I saw Aang charging towards me, arms out in a tackling throw. I saw the expression on his face change to one of surprise as he realised it was me, but he couldn't stop and he landed on me, the force of his momentum sending us both flying through a curtain of lianas and tumbling down an enormously thick, curved root. To my surprise, Sokka's voice joined mine in a yell as we crashed into him too and we landed in a tangled pile at the bottom of the wide root.

'What do you guys think you're doing? I've been looking all over for you!' Sokka cried.

'Well, I've been wandering around looking for you!' I shouted back, irritated.

'I was chasing some girl,' Aang said, airbending himself to his feet.

That was surprising. _Chasing a girl?!_

'What girl?' I asked, puzzled.

'I don't know,' Aang said, offering me his hand and pulling me to my feet. 'I heard laughing and I saw some girl in a fancy dress.'

A fancy dress? _Here?!_ It sounded like a vision, too. But of whom?

'I thought I saw Mom,' I admitted after a while.

It turned out that even Sokka had seen something – he admitted he'd seen Yue. But he blamed it all on the effects of being scared and hungry.

'Look, I think about her all the time,' Sokka said, speaking of Yue, '... and you saw Mom, someone you miss a lot'.

'What about me?' Aang asked, shrugging, 'I didn't know the girl I saw. And all our visions led us right here'.

**'**Here' appeared to be at the base of the biggest tree we had seen yet in the whole of the swamp. We were standing on one of its roots and it was at least 10 feet across, Above us, stretching upwards right through the canopy was the tree itself, huge mushroom-like and ancient.

We were at the centre of the swamp. Its _heart_, as Aang described it. He also said it was what had been calling to him. Sokka was just saying it was just a regular tree with nothing magical about it when the Swamp Monster attacked.

It had a crude wooden mask where its face should be, and it first lunged at Sokka, long tendrils of vines wrapping around him and lifting him up. Aang cut off creature vine 'arm' and released Sokka. But the creature could grow its limbs back again. It lashed out at us again and again with its green appendages. It seemed particularly determined to get at Sokka (I could not help remembering Aang's warning about the swamp – this Swamp Monster seemed bent on retribution)

We fought back, and at one point, when I launched an attack of razor-sharp circular frozen loops of water so rapidly the creature couldn't repair itself fast enough, Sokka thought he saw something.

'There's someone in there!' Sokka shouted 'He's bending the vines!'

I had suspected that much. I had never seen anything like it, but there's no other way those vines can move so unnaturally! The mask fell off the disintegrating monster, but even as it did so, more vines shot out of the water beneath my feet, taking me unawares and trapping me.

But Aang was back :

'Why did you call me here if you just wanted to kill us?' he shouted angrily.

The man, who was almost naked except for some leaves, had long, matted hair and surprisingly innocuous-looking, chubby, face.

'I didn't call you here,' he said.

We explained Aang was the avatar and Huu (that was his name) took us to his home which was right up on the large, banyan-grove tree. He said he protected the swamp from people like my brother, and the banyan-grove tree had called to him too. He spoke with an unusual accent, with long, drawn-out vowels and rounded sounds to his words.

It took us some time to arrive to the top of the Banyan grove tree, but finally, we were out in the open air. We sat down with Huu on one of the topmost branches and breathed in the clear air thankfully. There was no swamp gas up here and the air smelt sweet. We could see that it was around noon – more important still, we could _see:_ everything was bright and clear and unmysterious.

'Oh, the swamp is a mystical place, all right. It's sacred,' Hue was saying 'I reached enlightenment right here under the banyan grove tree.'

Sokka with his stubborn-headed prosaic logic, refused to see the truth of Hue's words.

'This whole swamp,' the old vine-bender explained, '... is actually just one tree spread out over miles... Branches spread and sink and take root and then spread some more - one big living organism, just like the entire world'.

Hue said we're all living together, even if most people don't act so. He said we all have the same roots, and are all branches of the same tree.

'But what did our visions mean?' I asked. If anyone could give us an answer, this wise man could.

Hue explained that people we loved but lost are gone forever, but here in the swamp, you realise they have not, because we're still connected to them and time is an illusion, and so is death. His words _did_ give me some inner peace, for it confirmed the truth of what I saw – but still, I wish the swamp hadn't made me see Mom only to take her away again.

'But what about my vision?' Aang asked 'It was someone I had never met.'

'You're the Avatar,' Hue answered '_You_ tell me'.

'Time is an illusion... so, it's someone I will meet?' Aang asked thoughtfully.

Hue smiled.

I didn't.

I wasn't quite sure I liked the sound of this mysterious girl. Or rather, not knowing anything about her. Surely the swamp could have been more _specific_. Like, couldn't she have said her name or something? That way we'd know her when we met her. But it's _Aang's _vision. Perhaps only _he_ will meet her. He said she had fancy clothes so she must be someone rich, then. Perhaps from a prominent and wealthy family, or a princess …someone worthy of the Avatar's acquaintance...

What on earth am I writing? This has nothing to do with the story.

Anyway, we had to concentrate on what was important – finding Appa and Momo, and Aang said he knew how.

'Everything is connected,' he said closing his eyes and placing his hand on the tree. Suddenly the arrow on his hand glowed and an incandescent white light snaked its way down the Banyan grove tree and into the foliage below.

A few seconds later Aang's expression changed:

'We've got to hurry' he said 'Appa and Momo have been captured by a bunch of wild men!'

We set off immediately. Aang led the way but of course, none of us could keep up with an Airbender. However, Hue, who joined us, cleared the way of vines so we could at least keep Aang in sight.

When we caught up with him he was standing on a tree branch above a wide waterway, confronting several quasi-naked men on skiffs who had Appa trussed up like an Arctic Hen.

Aang had attacked when I joined him up on the tree. Momo was already flying free and one skiff was overturned and destroyed.

'We're under attack!' said the skinny man on the leading skiff and to my surprise he waterbended a huge of water at us, intending to knock us off the branch. Aang and I automatically bended the water right back.

'You're waterbenders!' I exclaimed.

'You too?' the man said, looking pleased 'That means we're kin.'

I wasn't too sure how I felt about that. Now that I'd had a closer look at this guy: the sight wasn't too inspiring: hairy armpits, long, greasy hair drooping down beneath a crude leaf hat, and nothing around him but a scanty loincloth – he made the Zhang Tribe look sophisticated!

The leading hunters of the party introduced themselves as Tho and Due, and, like Huu, they spoke with a funny accent. I can only imagine this drawling speech can only be the result of the isolation of their tribe.

We followed them to their village on Appa, who, as we had suspected, could not fly but paddled his way through the waterways. Momo was more skittish and would not come anywhere near the swamp dwellers. It took some time for Aang to persuade him to come down.

However, we spent the evening pleasantly enough in Tho and Due's village. Their houses are built on stilts because of the frequent rise of the swamp water, and though rather uncouth and disconcertingly scantily-dressed, these people are very friendly. I suppose, if I had to think about it, in this hot and humid place, what they're wearing ( or not wearing) is definitely more comfortable!

They are very isolated, and very rarely saw any outsiders in the swamp. The only visitors were a travelling show, that Tho said had got lost here once, and Due mentioned that scholars sometimes come to study the fauna and flora. At least the swamp has deterred the Fire Nation from venturing here.

In fact, they were under the impression they were the only water benders, and found our description of the South Pole very strange. According to the myths and legends of these people, their ancestors came to the swamp from the Great White Land by crossing the 'big waterway'.

I can only deduce, being waterbenders, and the swamp being located on the South-eastern corner of the Earth Kingdom, that these people must have actually come from the South Pole. Weird, huh? They don't resemble anyone in my village much. But as Huu said, we're all branches of the same tree...

They know Hue well too... he's a respected wise man, even though they take his vine swinging activities light-heartedly. He protects the swamp, that's all, to them. I wonder how Hue bends the water in the plants. I never knew it could be done – but it's easy to see how these swamp-dwelling waterbenders are best placed to have mastered the art. And even among these people, it seems that only Huu has perfected this kind of bending.

After a nice meal of cooked fish and bugs (I skipped the bugs) they showed us to one of the huts on stilts where we'll stay tonight.

They even found some nice greens for Appa, but he wouldn't let them anywhere near him. Poor Appa- it must have been a traumatic experience for him! I spent some time cuddling the big softy to make up for the frightening hunt and chase.

When I went to get down our stuff for the night, I found some things missing from the saddle. I guess they must have fallen off during the chase. One of Sokka's spare shirts was gone and even my tiara. I had kept this from the relics we found at Taku as an emergency measure should we run out of money.

Anyway it's gone now. I should've sold it along with the other stuff.

There's one thing I'm glad wasn't lost during Appa's flight – something more important than any old tiara: this little book! There so much more than a journey in it – I poured my heart into its pages and I would have been very sad to lose it. I have half a mind to carry it around with me just as I do my water skin – it's small enough...

Otherwise, our waterbending scrolls are still here, and so are our clothes and other stuff.

The women of the village are very helpful and kind, and they're surprisingly knowledgeable about plants. They've shown me how they make healing medicines with plants and roots, and perfumed oils from flowers. They've also shown me where the best and cleanest water to bathe is. Thank goodness for that, for my clothes are all muddy and I need a good clean-up. They gave me some of their perfumed oil – and only when I was putting it on did I realise that it's made from the same flowers that grew in that part of the swamp where I saw my mother...

I _want _to believe death is just an illusion. I'm not like Sokka who adamantly refuses, even now, to believe there's something mystical about this place, so I guess for a brief moment, I believe I did see my mother. Perhaps in another time in another world, I will see her again.

In the meantime, I must make my own decisions, and take my own advice for this journey.

This little book helps – recording my thought and looking back at them I may be able to see the way forward.

And one of the first things I've decided is that starting from tomorrow I will ask Aang to practise waterbending with me again.

It's very clear to me now. Absolutely nothing – _nothing_ – must come between Aang and his duty as Avatar! That duty, right now, is to master bending, and I will not let anything – especially my own personal issues – get in the way! Like my mother, I must be strong and think only of the good of those around me, and not myself.

Aang is already asleep, even though he must be pretty uncomfortable with Momo tightly curled beneath his arm, but the little lemur is rather apprehensive in this village. They've given us the leaves of some plant, which if rubbed against the skin, repels bugs. Sokka is asleep too with several of these anti-bug leaves stuck in his clothes.

As for me, I feeling steadily more relaxed, enveloped by the sweet smell of those flowers and the certainty that it is not only the memory of my mother that surrounds me tonight, but her living spirit.


	30. Chapter 30

_A/n: I've divided this chapter in two since it got too long, but I'll be posting the other half by tomorrow morning._

**161 st day of our journey. We have finally left the swampy wetlands and the terrain has turned into flat, lush, green plains. We are heading in a southerly direction, but with no clear idea of where we should be going. We're getting closer to Avatar Kyoshi's birthplace and, according to our map, there should be many small villages along this part of the Earth Kingdom. Tomorrow we should come across some of them in the distant hills. Perhaps then we can get an indication as the where to find a good earth-bending teacher for the avatar**

Today I resumed our waterbending exercises. Aang has pretty much mastered waterbending now, but he still needs refinement and also to enforce what he has learnt with constant practise, for the latter has been rather patchy since we left the North Pole, alternating between days of constant exercising of advanced forms, and days of doing nothing at all.

Partly it's my fault, I realise, but now things have settled, I am sticking to strictly pre-defined waterbending forms for our warm-up practice, and I have never let myself – ourselves – stray into any fancy, free-style waterbending like I had in the first few days of spring before we arrived at the Kolau Mountain range near Omashu.

I have made my decision and I will stick to it – Aang needs to learn waterbending skills that will help him fight Ozai, and nothing else. So this morning, as we practised, I took Aang through all the attack and counter-attack bending forms as well as defensive techniques.

He did not say anything but moved through the stances and forms with perfect balance, his movement as fluid as a true waterbender and his throws accurately performed.

Only at the end did I catch him looking at me with a slightly puzzled look on his face.

I pretended not to notice and perhaps, taking his cue from me, he acted as though nothing happened either.

Perhaps he'll come to the conclusion (if he hasn't done so a long time ago) that there's nothing more between us than a surreptitious romantic moment in a dark tunnel, brought on by the old tales of undying love.

It's better this way. We've already had too many deviations from our original purpose – at the fortress; at Omashu; at the Foggy Swamp... It's several weeks into Spring and we haven't made any progress at all with earthbending, so Aang doesn't need any further distractions right now ( though I've noticed he gets less side-tracked by the opportunity to do 'fun stuff' than he used to in the beginning of our journey, months ago, not far from this very place).

Be that as it may, I think it more important for our friendship to remain stable and strong given what lies ahead for Aang. At least until I can be sure of what it might lead to and how it will affect us. Aang isn't just any guy – he's the _Avatar_, and that does complicate the picture.

This evening, as soon as I finish writing this, I'm going to ask Aang for the decorated wooden box of waterbending scrolls Master Pakku gave him, and go through them again, more attentively, especially the parts on defence and counter-attack - to see if there's anything I could use to fine-tune Aang's waterbending skills.

Now that I'm thinking about it, perhaps I'll start keeping this little earth book in there, too. I nearly lost it in the swamp when we got separated from Appa, and this elaborately-decorated wooden box is very sturdy and easily secured to the saddle. That way it can't fall off. I'm already storing my own waterbending scroll in it, because although it's his, Aang has relinquished the box to my care since I'm the one to structure the waterbending lessons.

Apart from the waterbending, there's one other thing on my mind, however:

'So, this girl,' I asked Aang at suppertime '…how old d'you think she is?'

'What girl?' he had already forgotten.

'The one you saw in the swamp. The vision.'

'Oh – her? I dunno. 'Bout my age, I guess.'

'D'you think she's rich, this girl you'll meet? You said she looked fancy.'

'It's not the _future_ you saw' Sokka interrupted from near the fire 'It's just some random girl you met, and must've forgotten about.'

'I'm pretty sure I don't know her, Sokka,' Aang insisted, 'though her voice was kinda familiar...'

'Really? Did it remind you of someone?' I asked.

'Umm...she didn't say much. She giggled a lot, but she sounded like Meng.'

'Meng?!' That came out loudly. Too loudly.

'It wasn't her!' he replied, shaking his head vehemently.

And what if it was? He had said he wasn't interested in Meng. Why should I care? But it sounded as though this new-found mysterious girl could be even more interesting than Meng. I busied myself with the Zhun-ra roots I was chopping, scowling vaguely at the vegetables.

'Relax, Arrow boy,' Sokka butted in 'It could be any one of the number of fangirls your subconscious is secretly thinking about.'

'Fangirls?' Aang asked, in surprise.

I muttered 'Kyoshi Island fangirls' - we were heading in that direction, anyway.

At least Aang had the decency to redden and shut up for a while.

But the idea wouldn't leave my head.

'You haven't answered my question,' I insisted, as I went to the fire and threw the vegetables in.

'What-? Oh...uh...I dunno, Katara. She had fancy white robes with long sleeves and her hair done up: that's all I noticed. I was too busy trying to catch her. She seemed to be in many places at once.'

'How's that?'

'Perhaps she's an airbender you once knew - there's nothing mysterious about moving fast – _you_ do it all the time.' My brother insisted.

'She wasn't airbending, Sokka – just appearing and disappearing, like I just couldn't pin her down...'

'You certainly did me,' I remarked.

'I thought I'd finally caught her, but at the last minute I saw it was you, Katara. Weird, huh?'

Yes, weird indeed. Whatever Sokka may say to the contrary, Aang will meet this mysterious girl one day - and she must be a significant part of his future. Both the visions Sokka and I had were of people very important and very dear to us, so I can't help but come to the conclusion that this girl will be someone very significant for Aang – and perhaps someone dear to him, too.

That thought is making me feel unreasonably annoyed. I say 'unreasonably' because I have long come to the conclusion that Aunt Wu's prediction could be interpreted in many different ways, if it is even true at all, and all that has happened since then has no bearing on what the future may hold. After all, the mystical visions we experienced in the swamp seem more real to me than the vague words of one fortune-teller….

Or, perhaps, even one stolen kiss in the dark.

**162 nd day of our journey. We have continued further south, and have definitely left the steamy warmth of the Foggy Swamp behind us, for it had become noticeably colder this far south, and the terrain is made of high hills and temperate forest. Unfortunately, as we've come closer to these more inhabited places, Appa must have been spotted again and this morning, at dawn, we had a skirmish with The Rough Rhinos, a small group of highly-trained Fire Nation soldiers.**

**We barely got away and our luck didn't hold out too long, for in a small town situated on the cliff edge, the Avatar was taken prisoner and accused of killing a great warrior and leader of the Earth Kingdom: Chin the Great, in a past life. **

**While Aang was in prison, by brother and I searched for evidence to prove his innocence, and even went as far as Kyoshi Island to find it. And find it we did, only it appears that the town of Chin's court system has no use for it. **

**The Avatar stands trial tomorrow.**

Perhaps we had grown careless, that's why it happened – but we hadn't seen much of human habitation since we left the Foggy Swamp, much less any Fire Nation activity. General Fong had told us that most of the Fire Nation army was gathered in and around Ba Sing Se and the routes that led to that city. Of course, as we found to our misfortune, part of that army had been diverted to capture Omashu, but down here, in this relatively unimportant part of the Earth Kingdom we did not expect to find any Fire Nation soldiers and had taken to flying on Appa again.

The Rough Riders found our camp at dawn. I was already half-awake because of some commotion Momo and Sokka had started, so I heard the galloping sound just a little after Momo did. Aang, who'd been asleep on Appa, heard it too.

Instinct long-honed by surprise attacks already had me half-out of my sleeping bag by the time the War Rhinos emerged from the bushes around us. They're a fierce, outlandish-looking bunch. I had heard about them: they did not form part of the regular army, but were a small elite force, very mobile, very effective in carrying out specific missions on behalf of the Fire Nation.

Flaming arrows hissed above my head and I reacted instinctively, turning to Appa. Aang had already climbed up, and Sokka was yelling for everyone to get on board, but I realised I had left something very precious behind: my book! I had left it in the wooden box of waterbending scrolls on one of the tree stumps. There was even my original waterbending scroll in there. I couldn't lose those! So I did a double take and managed to snatch the ornate wooden box right from under one of the riders' nose. Aang had also turned back to get his staff, so in the end, we barely got away in one piece: those guys had such an assortment of weapons – even blasting sticks. Their leader, a firebender, sent a fireball in a sizzling arch over our heads, missing us by inches.

As we passed out of range I could see the four riders rummaging among the stuff we had left behind. Apparently, they're scavengers as well as fighters. We hadn't left anything much – Sokka's sleeping bag was on fire and unusable, there was a couple of empty pots near the fire, and –

'Wait – my boomerang!' Sokka shouted.

It was near his blazing sleeping-bed, and one of the riders was already making a beeline for it.

'There no time!' I cried.

'Oh, I see. There's time to get _your_ scrolls and time to get _your_ staff, but no time for _my_ boomerang?'

'That's correct!' There was no way we would return there, and Sokka had to resign himself to the fact that Boomerang had changed owners.

At that moment, I was too glad to have gotten away all in one piece to realise how bad Sokka felt without his boomerang. He was disconsolate as we flew towards the distant ocean, and kept looking back towards where we had left our camp.

I leaned over the saddle.

'We should go shopping,' I told Aang, silently indicating with my eyes the rear of the saddle, where Sokka was gazing disconsolately in the direction we had just left.

Aang caught the drift of my meaning immediately.

'Sure, Katara.'

He guided Appa towards some distant fields. Sokka always cheers up when we're shopping, and usually, wherever there was farmed land, we would always find a homestead ready to sell its produce. Besides, we had left our supplies as well as some of our best sleeping bags behind.

As dawn broke in the East, we set down near one such place. I still had some Water Tribe money Chief Arnook had given us, and I thought some of his favourite food would cheer Sokka up, for he hadn't said a word since we left.

'Sorry about your boomerang Sokka,' I heard Aang tell my brother, as I asked the vendor at the small stall for his best fruit and vegetables.

'I feel like I've lost part of my identity,' Sokka said mournfully. 'Imagine if you lost your arrow,' he continued pushing back Aang's hat and pointing to his tattoos, 'or if Katara lost her...' he looked at me or a second ' ... hair loopies.'

My _hair loopies?_

Well, I suppose they do mark me out as a Water Tribe girl. But I never ever really thought about it that way. Sokka has had his Boomerang for a long time. Suddenly I remembered Dad had given it to him, and I started to understand Sokka's distress a bit better. I gave him a big hug as he came up to carry the basket of stuff. He had just started looking marginally more cheerful when the vendor called him 'Ponytail guy'.

'I used to be 'Boomerang guy'!' he cried, with tears in his eyes.

I paid the vendor who was surprised to see water tribe money, but accepted it willingly. Then something he said caught my attention – apparently it was Avatar Day today and a festival was being held in the town by the cliff's edge we could see in the distance. It sounded as if it could lead to something interesting, and take Sokka's mind off his loss.

'We could have a look,' Aang suggested 'I'm in disguise after all.' He pointed to his hat.

'It doesn't look like an occupied town. There are no Fire Nation Flags or insignia or anything... What d'you say, Sokka?' I turned to my brother.

'Whatever,' was the morose reply.

'Oh, come on, Sokka. You'll enjoy it, there'll be lots of stuff to eat...'

'If you think I'll forget about Boomerang just cos of some festival food…' Sokka cut across me scowling, 'then you don't know _anything_ about it! I started learning how to throw a boomerang since before I could walk!'

'That's impossible,' I stated flatly.

'Well, ok, _as soon_ as I started to walk, then. Dad said it was one of the hardest weapons to learn to use, but one that would be the most faithfully and effective.'

'Really? I didn't know boomerang-training took so long,' Aang remarked as we headed to where Appa was hidden to leave our new supplies there.

'It took _forever_,' Sokka answered 'but finally Dad said I was ready and gave me Boomerang,' Sokka paused, looking away into the distance 'he made it especially for me out of ivory whale tusks and cone-conch seashells,' he murmured in a low voice.

I didn't say anything for I had never known Dad had made it for Sokka – he must have meant it as a surprise before he left the village. I remember Sokka showing it to me proudly soon afterwards. It gives things a new perspective – Poor Sokka! He must be feeling like I did when I lost Mom's necklace. It's not only part of his identity- it's also a reminder of Dad.

But I know my brother more than he gives me credit for – as soon as we arrived in town I bought him some steaming hot, deep-fried dumplings and he was soon happily munching away. People were gathered in the streets which were decorated with green flags and bunting – they seemed to be expecting something, and soon we saw what: huge wooden effigies of past avatars were being rolled along the streets towards the town square.

I grinned as I saw a huge statue of Aang join that of Roku and Kyoshi – the expression on "Aang"s face was angry and intimidating, and nothing at all like the real thing. These people clearly had never seen Aang before, though at least they got the colors of his robes right. We were just thinking that these people appreciated the Avatar when suddenly, a torch-bearing man ran into the main square and set fire to the statues, as shouts of 'Down with the Avatar!' rose from the crowd around us.

My first reaction was one of shock and disbelief – what was happening here? I couldn't understand – but the increasing crescendo of hate-laden shouts, the depreciating insults and screams of glee as the fire took hold, left no room for doubt – these people hated Avatars! My initial shock was fast-changing to a seething anger as the crowd screamed its approval at the burning statues of Roku and Kyoshi. How could they treat their Avatar this way? How dare they treat _Aang_ like that – Aang's the gentlest, most unselfish person I have ever known – he's risked his life again and again for people he doesn't even know, and he'll do it over and over again until finally…

Until finally the day comes when he will face the most feared threat of all – Fire Lord Ozai himself, enduring who knows what hardships and injuries along the way – dangers I haven't even allowed myself to dwell too much on, for they scare me – and all this for the sake of people like those ungrateful, horrible jerks who were screaming their disdain for the Avatar all around me!

Aang looked stricken as he saw the blazing effigies, but I was fuming silently, my hands balled into fists to stop myself from doing something stupid. I wouldn't even have cared so much if they insulted me, but not Aang. _Not Aang_. He didn't deserve this!

When the Mayor gave a signalled to the torch guy, who launched his torch at Aang's statue, I really lost it! I water-bended two huge waves from nearby pots and doused all the statues, putting out the fire.

Perhaps I shouldn't have, because when someone called me a party-pooper for ruining Avatar day, Aang intervened. He airbended himself on his own float and addressed the crowd.

'That party-pooper's my friend!' he shouted angrily, and took off his hat, revealing who he was.

The effect on the crowd was electrifying. There were screams and shouts – not of anger, but of _fear_!

When it was clear Aang wasn't about to attack anyone, the Mayor, a snooty man with a tall hat and affected manners, told us the Avatar was not welcome there because apparently, Avatar Kyoshi had murdered their leader, Chin the Great, thus destroying their people's fame and prosperity.

So that's why the town was called Chin.

Aang, who had joined me to face the crowd, took it badly. 'You think I ... murdered someone?' he asked the Mayor.

The Mayor insisted, but I couldn't believe him. No Avatar would. The cold-blooded murder of people and destruction of society was something Fire Lords did, not Avatars. What did these people know about Avatars? They were all a bunch of lying, hypocritical fools who must have never opened a real history book, and didn't even know what hardship was, having been spared the Fire Nation war by their location on the periphery of the Earth Kingdom! Now that the crowd had seen Aang wasn't going to attack them, the offensive murmuring and dark looks were once again directed our way.

'And it's not fair for you all to question his honor!' I shouted at them, still fuming.

'Let's tell her what we think of the Avatar's "honor" one of them shouted, bending over and sticking his butt out at me. I had already taken a step forward, fully intending to freeze his butt for him, when Aang put a hand on my arm to stop me and stepped forward to face the roaring crowd.

'Give me a chance to clear my name,' he told them.

The Mayor said he would have to stand trial and pay bail. Aang agreed and the murmuring of the crowd died down. We followed the Mayor to a large building just off the main square where several clerks were called in with parchment and quills.

Unfortunately, when it came to paying bail, we hit a problem.

'This is Water Tribe money, Mayor Tong,' the bail collector said as I opened my money pouch and grabbed a handful of blue coins.

'We do not accept Water Tribe money,' Mayor Tong said, in that hateful, smugly-complacent voice of his.

'What'd'ya mean you don't take water tribe money?!' I retorted furiously 'I bought deep-fried dumplings with it just round the corner from here, I bought fruit and –'

'Only Earth Kingdom money is legal tender in our judicial system, and since I'm the head of said judicial system ...' Mayor Tong's cruel smile widened, 'whatever _I _say goes.'

'But you can't do that!'

'Oh yes, I can. I think it's the pillory for the Avatar. Nothing more than he deserves!' The Mayor signalled two men in the background who disappeared inside another room and then returned carrying a heavy wooden pillory between them.

'You're not serious!' Sokka said, glaring at the Mayor 'You're not putting the Avatar in _that_!'

'Why not? Why should he escape justice just because he's the Avatar?' Mayor Tong said, glancing at Aang in disdain. 'He said he'd stand trial, didn't he?'

'Yeah, I said I would. And I don't expect any special treatment.' Aang held out his hands and the two prison wardens fixed the pillory around him and led him away. Mayor Tong was looking at us with an air of mild satisfaction as his henchmen took Aang away.

'C'mon. Let's see where they're taking him!' my brother said, grabbing my arm before I could give the Mayor a piece of my mind about the humiliating treatment he was putting Aang through.

When we got to the prison I could see Aang was the only one of the prisoners to be pilloried – special treatment indeed!

It was a ridiculously low-security prison – at least for benders. Aang could easily have broken out of that place, but we couldn't convince him to. He was really upset that he had 'murdered' someone and ruined these people's prosperity.

But even if it were true, he can't be responsible for what one of his past lives did, can he? Personally, I thought it quite likely that in the thousand years or more of Avatar history, one or more Avatars might have caused the death of others: not cold-bloodied murder, as these people seemed to think, but indirectly, through the misfortunes of war and battles. It had happened not so long at the Siege of the North, so I can't really understand why Aang has taken it so personally...

He said he couldn't let these people think of him as a murderer.

'I need you guys to help prove my innocence,' he said.

'How're we gonna do that?' Sokka said in exasperation 'The crime happened over three hundred years ago'.

'That's okay, Sokka,' Aang said 'For some reason, I thought you were an expert detective.'

There was a hint of a smirk on Aang's face as he said this. I caught on immediately.

'Well, I guess I _could_ be classified as such,' Sokka said with a smug look.

I played along. 'Yeah! Back home he was famous for solving the mystery of the missing seal jerky'

This, of course, as Aang and I both knew, set Sokka off on the tale of how he had caught Old man Jarco stealing the jerky. Poor Jarco – he had died soon after from aggravated frostbite while fishing, but it had been Sokka's best piece of detective work. We had heard it a hundred times before, so we listened patiently while Sokka talked himself into taking on the case of Aang's innocence, as we knew he would.

We looked for clues the rest of the morning. Mayor Tong took us to the edge of the cliff where an amphitheatre cut into the hillside overlooked a small temple right at the edge of the precipice. It was the scene where Chin was supposed to have been murdered by Avatar Kyoshi. As Tong returned back to town to prepare for the evening festivities of Avatar Day, I could see we didn't have much to go on: - a temple; a statue of Chin, built _after_ his death in his honor; and Kyoshi's preserved footprint at the edge of the cliff. Sokka however, noticed both statue and temple were built form the same stone, which belied the Mayor's words that Kyoshi had emerged from the temple.

'We have to go to Kyoshi Island,' my brother concluded.

As we headed back up the amphitheatre and into town were the wet, blackened and useless statues of the Avatar effigies were being cleared away, I got some dirty looks from the townspeople as the one responsible for ruining the burning highlight of Avatar Day.

I ignored them. They would have to swallow their words when we got back with proof of Kyoshi's innocence (I can't think of it in terms of "_Aang's_ innocence". Not being an avatar myself, I find it difficult to identify him with his past lives. Aang is Aang, and not Kyoshi, whatever invisible bond links the two).

'D'you think we'll make it on time?' I asked Sokka anxiously as we headed out of town to where Appa was hidden.

'Quit worrying. It's not so far from here. We'll be back by evening.'

'The trial is set for tomorrow. I hope we find something on Kyoshi Island.'

'It's not a big place. There'll be clues there, you'll see.'

He was right. We arrived at Kyoshi Island at lunchtime. This time there were no Kyoshi warriors to attack us, but Appa was immediately recognised and a crowd formed in the village square. It was a very different crowd from Chin Village – they were eager to give a hero's welcome to Aang. Even little Koko was there, asking for 'Aangy'.

I couldn't help but smile when I remembered how both Aang and I had let these little fangirls be the cause of a quarrel between us – why, Koko was even younger than Meng!

'He couldn't be here, Koko' I said, and the crowd dispersed when they heard that.

Oyagi, their leader, stayed behind and we explained what had happened. He was positive Kyoshi couldn't have murdered anyone 370 years ago today. It was, in fact, Kyoshi Day that the people were celebrating today. Oyagi took us to her shrine in a picturesque spot beyond the village.

'The clerics tell us these relics are still connected to her spirit,' Oyagi said, 'That's her kimono.'

'She had exquisite taste,' I fingered the green silk: it felt like warm water between my fingers, barely there, yet warm and smooth.

I was surprised how these relics, though evidently worn through use, did not seem as though more than three centuries had passed over them.

Then we saw her boots – they were enormous: If that was anything to judge by, she must have been an imposing woman, especially with that headdress and billowing robes: the legends always spoke of Avatar Kyoshi as having an imposing presence and I was seeing the evidence of that right under my very eyes.

But another piece of evidence had turned up: there was no way the assassin's footprint preserved on the cliff back at Chin could ever have been made by Kyoshi - it was way too small!

And the last clue was provided by a huge painting of Kyoshi presiding at a ceremony called the _Birth of Kyoshi_. Sokka got very excited – no, not excited – positively _carried away_ as he saw from the shadows in the painting that the ceremony had taken place at sunset on the same day Chin was supposedly murdered. Kyoshi had an alibi! I let Sokka think he solved the mystery himself – it's easier that way, but I've confiscated his detective props, for he was getting too obnoxiously rude in his detective role!

'Oyagi, we need those boots as evidence,' Sokka said finally.

It took a long time to persuade him, for the relics were sacred to the villagers and the Kyoshi warriors in particular, but eventually he agreed.

'If it's to clear the Avatars' name,' he said 'both past and present, then I suppose you can take them.'

He packed the boots and, at my insistence, the rest of her stuff, into bamboo boxes and we loaded everything on Appa. It was evening when we arrived back at the town of Chin and stood once more before the Mayor in the prison, with Aang still in stocks behind the barred door. However, our hopes were dashed when he said our evidence and defence were worthless.

'I say what happened and then you say what happened and then _I_ decide who's right,' Tong said with sneer and a sadistic gleam in his eyes as he walked out of the prison.

The accused had to prepare and fight his own defence at the trial!

'Aang, listen carefully,' Sokka said 'We've found loads of stuff-!'

'The prison doors are closing for the night,' one of the guards said laconically 'you have to get out!'

'Wait we need to speak to Aang – he stands trial tomorrow.'

'You have five minutes.'

We tried to explain to Aang what we had seen and done, but Sokka kept interrupting me, so I'm not sure what he understood.

We're back to the wooded hills beyond the town with Appa, for none would give us board or lodging seeing that we're friends of the Avatar. I really can't _stand_ this stupid town! It's as though a thousand years of peace-keeping efforts of Avatars past and present have completely passed it by. What could've been so great about this Chin, anyway? I've heard the name before, but I can't remember his story very well. I wish I'd read my history scrolls more carefully back home. Sokka, who was hoping for some more festival food, isn't too impressed with the town of Chin either, and has called the Mayor some very uncomplimentary things which would have made Gran Gran threaten to wash his mouth out with blubber-soap had she heard him...


	31. Chapter 31

_A/n: Ok, second part of yesterday's chapter._

**163 rd day of our journey and the day of the Avatar's trial for the murder of Chin the Great. Aang did not do such a great job of defending himself, but Avatar Kyoshi suddenly manifested herself through Aang and told all the people gathered there what really happened, and that she did, indeed, bring about Chin's death.**

**The Avatar's fate was sealed and the Wheel of Punishment sentenced him to be boiled in oil. However, the arrival of the Rough Rhinos on a surprise raid quickly convinced the Mayor of the town to give Aang his freedom, if he rid the town of the riders.**

**This we did together, thus changing this town's opinion about the Avatar to a more positive one.**

As I said in the visible part of the journal, Aang didn't do so great at defending himself – actually, to be really honest, he was terrible!

Sokka and I sat in the front row of the amphitheatre where the jury had gathered to hear the Mayor and the accused give their version of events.

'You see, I have very large feet,' Aang said, uncertainly 'Furthermore, your... temple matches your statue. But... I was in a painting at sunset.' Then he smiled disarmingly 'So there you have it! I'm not guilty!'

No-one was impressed with the jumbled mess of the evidence we had gathered.

'The trial will continue after lunch, in one hour,' the Bailiff cried, 'after which time, due consideration is given to both version of events, and the Mayor will pronounce judgement.'

There was a hubbub of voices as everyone turned in their seats and started talking. Sokka and I ran over to Aang.

'Sorry, guys – I messed up, didn't I?' he said, with a rueful smile.

'Yeah – well, you may have confused some people, that's all,' Sokka said 'I'll go get us some food. Prison fare isn't too good, I heard.'

'He's not going back to prison, Sokka!' I muttered indignantly, but Sokka just shrugged and joined the crowds exiting the amphitheatre.

'Never mind, Aang,' I said 'I might have another idea.'

People were leaving their seats to go for lunch. We had just about an hour, but it was enough.

'Uh – can I speak to the Avatar in private?' I asked Aang's guard 'We're not going far. Just up the steps there to the temple, to …uh…pray.'

The guard nodded grudgingly.

I grabbed Aang's hand and dragged him up the steps and inside the small temple. It was nothing more than one room with two archways: one facing the sea, and the other one, the town.

'What is it Katara?' he said as I pushed him in a recessed alcove to one side, where the guard wouldn't see.

'Look over here,' I said, and opened the box Oyagi had given me.

I had hidden it in the temple earlier that morning, before the trial started.

Aang bent down. 'Those look like... Avatar Kyoshi's weapons? And that's her headdress – why d'you get all this stuff?'

'I persuaded Oyagi to lend them to me – it's all there: her robes, her fans, her boots...'

'What for?'

'I'll explain, but first I have to get you out of this thing,' I prepared to snap the metal lock holding the stocks together by freezing water over the metal, but Aang casually slipped his hands and head out of it. 'Oh.'

'Well?'

'It's something Oyagi said, Aang. He said Kyoshi's spirit is tied to these relics. I thought, perhaps, if you wear them, it might trigger something... like what happened on Roku's island.'

I looked at him anxiously – I had no idea how the connection between the Avatar and his past lives worked, but it seemed like this was a good connection.

'Wear Kyoshi's clothes?' Aang said, looking doubtfully at the flowing green silks folded neatly inside the box.

'That's right.'

'I laughed at Sokka for doing that once...' he said wryly 'but...ok. It might just make me remember what happened, or something.'

'Great! Let me help you – it's a bit complicated. Here - this goes on first'

Aang slipped into the first robes- a sort of olive-green tunic and pants– they were huge, and the tunic reached down to his knees. The outer robes were even larger and dragged on the floor.

'I thought Kyoshi's statue was big,' Aang remarked 'but I guess it was life-size.'

'The legends say she was taller and more imposing than any man alive,' I said as I handed him the boots.

'I feel like a Turkey–duck in these boots and I'm floating inside these clothes. Sokka's gonna have his revenge when he sees me.'

I grinned at Aang 'My brother looked much better in the ones Suki lent him. Hang on - turn round and I'll tighten the sash. There - loads better!'

I surveyed him critically – sure the clothes looked big, but they were a great warrior's clothes, and it showed. However, there was something missing.

'One last touch now,' I said, kneeling down by the box and fishing out something I had purchased that very morning 'Sit down, Aang.'

His face fell comically as he saw what I held in my hand.

'Not that stuff too!' he cried in dismay.

I opened the small box of make-up. 'Yes. Avatar Kyoshi wore it. It was part of her as much as anything else. Besides - no offence, Aang - but you don't look like a woman, much less Avatar Kyoshi. This'll help.'

'If you say so.' He sat down resignedly by the bamboo box and looked with wonder (not unmixed with a certain amount of apprehension) at the color and brushes in my hand.

I dipped the first brush in the pure white paste, coating it well.

'Hold still, now,' I instructed, leaning towards him 'I had a good look at Avatar Kyoshi's statue before we left the island, but I'm not that good with make-up: back at the South Pole, the women rarely use it – the men do.'

'The men?'

'Well, they call it 'War Paint'. Don't tell Sokka I called it 'make-up' – he's very proud of his Warrior's Wolf Marks.'

Aang laughed, and promptly got the brush in his eye.

'Okay, I'll hold still,' he said, keeping his face immobile though his eyes kept squinting upwards, trying to follow the movement of my brush as I obliterated his tattoo and turned the pale skin of his forehead an even whiter shade. 'I guess this _is _war-paint, in a way.'

'I guess it is – Kyoshi-warrior style,' I said, working my way down to the left side of his face and jawline, 'There – the white base is almost done – I think I made quite a good job of it, though I don't have Sokka's experience. In fact, I was half-thinking of asking Sokka to do this – he's had his face painted like a Kyoshi warrior once, after all.'

'No - I'm glad _you're_ doing it instead.'

I glanced up at him quickly, my brush poised on his right cheek, where I had been about to start painting. But his eyes weren't following the movement of my brush any more – they were fixed on mine. What made him say that? More than that, why was he looking at me like that?

I realised I had never been this close to Aang since that day in the cave. I tore my eyes away, intending to concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing, even though my heart had started beating faster. I was already berating myself for imagining things, when I realised that Aang's cheek, beneath my white-tipped brush, was reddening. His eyes were lowered, and he looked just as uncomfortably aware of our closeness as I was.

Taking a deep breath, I worked in silence until all of Aang's face had taken on the chalk-white pallor of a Kyoshi warrior and the faint blush was completely wiped out.

A white-painted face tends to have all expression obliterated from its surface – which was perhaps something intentionally done in the Kyoshi warriors – but somehow, it couldn't from Aang's. At least not entirely, for his eyes, clear and gray, were extremely expressive and they were once again looking at me. If he still felt awkward, I could not detect a sign of it beneath the white paint, but it was his eyes that enthralled me: I was so close to him that I could see how the bright noon sun that filtered through the open doors of the temple lit up the different shades of gray in his eyes: I could see the darker, almost slate-coloured, outer rim fade gradually into the mistier tones near the pupil, and there were flecks of a silvery-grey throughout. No wonder sometimes his eyes seem to darken or lighten with his mood... and his mood, from what his eyes were telling me, did not seem to be as anxious as they should have been, given he was just about to be tried for a murder he never committed by a crazy Mayor-come-Judge.

'Close your eyes,' I said abruptly.

I did not mean to be abrupt, but his steady gaze was unnerving, and I had no white make-up to hide my own rising blush, so I breathed a sigh of relief when he obediently closed his eyes. I shouldn't have been staring either – only Aang's eyes are so darned expressive, and I had never seen them that close, and...

These are all excuses I know, and I should have listened to my earlier own resolutions, but putting on face-paint is a kind of...I don't know...an _intimate_ thing to do, somehow.

The red, slanting eye-paint went on next and then the black line along the brows and around the eyes. Now that Aang had his eyes closed, I worked better, swiftly outlining the shape of the lid, giving the eyes more slant and emphasising the length of the lashes. Aang has naturally long eyelashes and I saw them tremble slightly, indicating he was about to open his eyes.

'No –no, keep your eyes closed!' I did not want his eyes looking at me as I applied the last touch.

'I thought I was done, already'

I dipped the last brush into a deep carmine red.

'Almost. Just ...one last thing,' I whispered, putting my fingers under his chin and tilting his face slightly upwards. Holding the brush with my other hand, I passed it gently over Aang's lips.

I heard a sharp intake of breath, but then he froze and suffered me to finish the job without saying anything or opening his eyes, for which I was grateful. Avatar Kyoshi's lips were painted dark red and had a slightly downward turn that gave her a rather severe air. I think I managed to reproduce that little detail too, even though Aang's lips were usually anything but severe. They have a nice shape: neither too full, nor too thin ... lips that had kissed me in the cave of two Lovers...

I snatched my hand away from his face lest he noticed it trembling.

'Th - There... you're done,' I said, my voice coming out as a sort of croak. I struggled to control my racing pulse and pretended to be busy packing away the brushes and colors.

'Wow, this feel _weird,_' Aang's eyes fluttered open, but thankfully he was too distracted by the strange sensation of the caked face-paint to notice my own was tinged a bright red.

Suddenly, I realised that a hubbub of voices was coming from outside the temple and then a loud voice said:

'Everyone will take their seats. The court is now in session and Mayor Tong will pronounce judgement –'

I sprang to my feet and hurried outside. The guard was already half-way up the steps presumably to get Aang.

'Mayor Tong, I'd like for the court to hear one last testimony,' I shouted.

'I've already told you! It's just me and the accused. You can't call any witnesses,' the Mayor retorted, as I suspected he would.

'This isn't just any witness. I'm going to call...' I gestured to the temple 'Avatar Kyoshi herself!'

Aang appeared at the top of the steps to the temple under the unamused eyes of the Guard. The whole court broke into a buzzing murmur like a swarm of bee-wasps.

'What are you doing?' Sokka whispered anxiously, as I took my seat near him.

'Well, she is Aang's past life. Maybe wearing her stuff will trigger something.'

But it did not seem to be happening. It was a nail-biting few minutes. Tong saw it as a mockery of Chin law and the crowd was muttering in disapproval. I felt really bad making Aang go through all that for nothing – the Mayor was even angrier at him now.

But next minute, my doubts dissipated, for just as the Mayor was going ahead and pronouncing Aang's sentence, Avatar Kyoshi appeared.

The sky darkened and a whirlwind of earth – something between a sandstorm and a whirlwind, hid Aang from sight and when it cleared Kyoshi stood there – there were gasps of terror from the crowd and Tong prostrated himself in fear.

She was tall – incredibly tall, and from beneath her elaborate headdress she looked down on all of us: her face beneath the white paint had beautiful contours, like the statues of her I had seen, but her expression was a bit intimidating and aloof (though that perhaps could be the effect of the face paint). But what was the most surprising were the words that came from her mouth:

'_I_ killed Chin the Conqueror,' she said.

She explained how Chin was a harsh tyrant who expanded his rule from the north-western part of the earth Kingdom far beyond, leaving devastation in his wake. When he demanded Kyoshi to surrender the peninsula of land where she was born, she used an amazing feat of bending, that only an Avatar could do, to cut it off from the mainland. Suddenly I understood what the mural at her shrine '_The Birth of Kyoshi_' meant: it was the birth of an island such as no other island had been born!

Then the whirlwind of dust enveloped her again and I knew Aang would be back. And this time I was ready for it: I rushed out of my seat as Aang swayed, dropping Kyoshi's fan, and arrived just in time to steady him as he recovered from the draining influence of the manifestation of his past life.

'So...What just happened?' he said weakly.

'Uh...You kind of confessed. Sorry.' I said.

It wasn't the outcome I had intended.

Mayor Tong shouted for the Wheel of Punishment, a contraption depicting may different gruesome sentences. Aang had to spin this wheel, and fate would determine which punishment was to be his. I was already desperately trying to think of a way out of this one, for Aang insisted on 'facing justice'. I knew he could easily get out of some of those punishments with nothing worse than some scratches (he can take on far worse than a bear or a shark, and being buried alive was nothing for an airbender, but the Razor Pit had me worried - I didn't know if my healing powers were _that_ good and there were other punishments that were actually forms of torture... Why was Aang being so darned _noble_ about this? There was no honor in this stupid way of facing justice! It wasn't even justice! He could just ignore these stupid jerks and their crazy laws! After all, their big 'hero', Chin, was nothing more than an ancient version of Ozai, and from what Kyoshi said – he _deserved_ to die!

But Aang was being his own worst enemy and of course, because fate loves to complicate matters, when he spun the wheel it stopped on 'Boiled in oil' – there was no way out of _that_ punishment!

Aang's face was a picture of concern. Well, what did he _expect_!? Out of all the punishments, that was the one he could not hope to get out of alive!

Not that I was going to let him die – there was no honor in dying like this – sacrificing oneself so stupidly, so _uselessly_, for a bunch of Chin admirers!

I was going to rescue him whether he wanted to or not – I was ready to use his own word against him: you need to retreat to live to fight another day – that's what he told the resistance fighters in Omashu ( though the situation isn't _exactly_ the same) But he could at least postpone his punishment till after the war, when hopefully another court would find him – or rather – Avatar Kyoshi - not guilty .

After all, thinking about it, Kyoshi destroyed a tyrant – isn't that what _we're_ supposed to be aiming to do with Ozai in the end?

However, before I acted upon my ideas of rescuing Aang in spite of himself, a bomb exploded in the middle of the clearing , and the Rough Rhinos appeared at the top of the amphitheatre.

'We've come to claim this village for the Fire Lord! Now show me your leader so I may...dethrone him' their leader bellowed.

Someone pointed to Tong who was grovelling in fear on the ground like the worthless coward that he is. I heard Tong plead with Aang, as Avatar, to save the town.

'Gee, I'd love to help, but I'm supposed to be boiled in oil,' Aang replied, coolly.

The big hypocrite then flipped the wheel to 'Community Service' and told Aang his punishment had been suddenly reduced to ridding the town of the riders.

Aang smiled as he airbended himself out of Kyoshi's oversized clothes and used his fans to blast the first of the riders out of his seat and over the edge of the cliff. In the meantime, the other riders were given the order to ride into the town and raze it to the ground

The fight didn't lasted more than half-an-hour. Aang used Kyoshi's fans to blast the first one of them right off the cliff face – I don't know if he survived. When he saw this, their leader gave the order to ride onto the town and soon they were rampaging through the streets setting fire to the houses. Sokka and I raced after them and caught up with them before they had done too much damage. My brother and I took out the archer guy, and the explosives guy took out himself with his own explosives. And Sokka, to his delight, found boomerang again!

At the end, the Rough Rider's leader, whom they had addressed as Colonel Mongke, a firebender, was left. Aang took him out of the fight with a flying kick that knocked him cold.

'Let's put out the fires before the whole town's ablaze,' I called out to Aang, for I could hear the screams and shouts of people trapped inside their homes, some of them completely unaware of what had happened.

Others, however, had seen the fight along their streets. Aang and I water-bended whatever water we could find from fountains and animal drinking troughs onto the roofs of burning houses, and cheers and shouts of 'Thank you, Avatar' started going up from all around.

Soon a crowd had gathered, but this time, it was a friendly crowd and as soon as the last house fire was put out and all the injured taken to the Infirmary, the Major joined us, singing a very different tune to what he had been doing that same morning. He said Colonel Monke, still blindfolded, had been bound in chains, put on his War Rhino and the beast sent galloping out of town. By the time he woke up, he'd be miles away. The Explosives guy was in the infirmary and sent to jail. No-one knew where the other two where, but certainly nowhere in Chin Town.

The Mayor was so happy he offered us to stay the night in his house.

'You freshen up,' he said as he showed us into a large annex to his house 'then join me for tonight's festivities: I'm going to declare a new Avatar Day!'

'Well, that turned out different,' Aang said as he came out of bathroom where he'd been washing the caked paint off his face.

'Much better than Boiled in oil. What on earth made you accept to spin that wheel thing, Aang? Sokka and I almost had a heart attack!'

'I said I would-'

'I know, I know, I _know_: you said you'd face justice. But that was _ridiculous!_'

'Yeah...well...I never imagined Kyoshi would say she murdered Chin. She didn't really anyway.'

'How's that?' Sokka asked.

'Well, when Kyoshi took over I don't remember what happened exactly, but I sorta saw into her memory of that day. Chin fell to his death when the ground he stood on gave way, after Kyoshi split the land.'

'So why did you spin that wheel? It wasn't your fault, or even Kyoshi's...' I looked up exasperatedly at Aang as I folded Kyoshi's silk robes and other stuff and put them away in the bamboo box.

Aang grinned sheepishly. 'I thought I could survive any punishment they threw at me and make peace with the people here at the same time. I thought a whipping, perhaps, or even that Savage Bear thing... I guess I wasn't thinking. '

'No, you weren't!' I said sharply, 'Your duty is to save the world, not get yourself killed, or almost killed, for something that wasn't even a crime! And you can't take responsibility for someone else's actions, even if it _is_ your past life! You're not Kyoshi, Aang.'

Thinking about what nearly happened was turning my fear into anger.

Aang didn't say anything, but looked uneasy. I knew then that there was a part of him, a part that is connected to his past lives that even I cannot understand. And I think Aang is only now just now beginning to know.

'Look - I don't know much about past lives: that's Avatar stuff,' my brother interrupted, 'But of you ever think of getting yourself thrown in jail for somthing your thousand plus Avatar lives committed,' Sokka pointed his boomerang threateningly at Aang 'I'm going to personally bust you out myself, whether you want to or not. In jail isn't where you're needed most!'

To my surprise, Aang smiled.

'Thanks, Sokka.'

Sokka looked surprised for a second but then continued to polish his boomerang_._ Now that he was 'Boomerang guy' once more, he was happy.

As for me, I had managed to retrieve some of our stolen stuff from the explosives guy's saddle. From the blankets I retrieved I made a new sleeping bag for Sokka, to replace the burnt one and packed the rest away on Appa's saddle. But there was something else I had to do: I sewed a small pouch on the inside of my water skin that can hold my journal. Thankfully, this Earth Kingdom book is small, tough, but lightweight, and fits in snugly in its new pouch at the back of my water skin together with a small bottle of ink and a pen.

Over these past few days I've almost lost this book twice: once in the swamp and once when the Rough Rhinos attacked, so I thought I'd better keep it on me the whole time now, unless I can be sure we're in a safe place. After pouring my heart out into it, I would not like it to be lost forever. I wish I could do the same with the waterbending scrolls, but they're far too bulky and will have to stay in the Box Master Pakku gave Aang.

There is also another thing that I have decided to carry with me all the time: Master PAkku's gift! I have placed the amulet of Spirit Water round my neck: given the increasingly dangerous times, (or just in case Aang decides to get himself boiled in oil again!) I think I had better have it handy.

A retainer from Mayor Tong's household has just come to tell us that it's time for the celebrations. As soon as they're over, or at least early tomorrow morning, I want to get out of this town. I don't like Mayor Tong, whatever celebrations he's got in store for us: I think he's mad as half the townspeople here: worshipping a guy who doesn't sound any better than Ozai himself, just because it is the only thing that connects them to what they perceive as a past glorious history!

A few hours ago they were shouting in bloodthirsty eagerness for his death by torture, wishing him the same fate as his effigy.

I can't forget that.

For the sake of getting Aang away from here without any more self-sacrificing heroics, I'll keep my mouth shut for tonight, but I'll be glad to see the last of this town.


	32. Chapter 32

**164 th day of our journey. We are travelling in an eastern direction after a short detour to return Kyoshi's relics to her shrine. The search for an earthbending teacher has now become more pressing. Apart from the skirmish with the Rough Rhinos, we have not encountered any Fire Nation soldiers in this part of the Earth Kingdom, which is just as well, for we need to fly on Appa to get around from town to town as quickly as possible. **

Tonight, we have set camp in a valley between some high hills. Our detour to Kyoshi cost us some valuable time, even though we didn't stay long. We arrived very early in the morning just as dawn was breaking and set down near the Shrine. We placed the bamboo box of relics inside with a thank you note inside addressed to Oyagi and left the island before the village lookouts had even sounded the alarm bell. I hope Oyagi understands, but we can't afford to lose any more time while Aang is feted and fussed over.

I think all three of us have had enough of celebrations for the time being. The night we left Chin Village we had to eat a whole bowlful of unfried Avatar-shaped dough to commemorate the day when the Avatar was NOT boiled in oil – I swear that Mayor Tong has Squid-hash for brains! Where does he come up with such ideas?!

My only consolation is that the people of this village, especially the so-called 'court' will be forced to eat that horrible uncooked dough every year on Avatar Day – and serves them right for being as bird-brained as their Mayor!

We left the town of Chin as quickly as we could the next day and I hope never to have to go there again!

My only memento of that town is my box of face paints, though I have no idea what to do with such a predominant red, white, and black combination... I hope I don't ever have to make Aang become Kyoshi again.

Not that it was all a bad thing...

Anyway, face-paint apart, what is really important now is to find an Earthbending teacher. I'm getting a bit worried that we're already well into Spring and although Aang is getting along fine with Waterbending (we had a really good practise today – relief at having left Chin behind us, I guess) he still has two more elements to go.

At least this part of the Earth Kingdom is not strategically important for the Fire Nation's war effort, and that leaves us relatively undisturbed to search for someone suitable.

Sometimes, I wonder what happened to Zuko and his Uncle after the siege of the north.

According to the 'wanted' posters, they're still alive, but fugitives now. Somehow, I don't think that is going to deter Zuko from pursuing Aang. Perhaps he has an even better reason for doing that now.

**165 th day of our journey. Today was very eventful. In the town of Gaoling, after an unsuccessful free lesson at Master Wu's Earthbending Academy, we went to an earthbending tournament where we saw the local earthbending fighters. The Avatar thinks he has found a teacher: the earthbending champion herself: a blind, twelve-year-old girl, who calls herself the Blind Bandit. **

**Aang, using airbending, accidentally threw her off the ring, thus winning the champion's title and a bag of gold, but of the girl herself, there's no trace.**

**Tomorrow we hope to find out who this mysterious girl is, for the Avatar is certain that she should be his earthbending teacher.**

We stopped by Goaling town because we needed provisions and it seemed a likely place to find earthbenders, situated as it is among high hills.

There was a bustling market in the town centre that accepted Water Tribe money. I bought some more thread, for I had used a lot to make the small leather pouch for my fat little journal beneath my water skin. I carried it with me today, and I must say I made a good job of it because I can hardly feel it. The amulet, being very small, is no problem at all.

At least this way, should something like the Rough Rhinos' ambush happen again, I know that, just like my water skin, I have my two other prized possessions always with me.

Both Sokka and I were pretty enthusiastic about the marketplace (I think it's got something to do with being deprived of the thrill of a shopping spree for most of our lives) but Aang was much less so. Perhaps because he's been to hundreds of marketplaces, perhaps because the monks taught him not to place a lot of importance on material things ... whatever the reason, for Aang, with few exceptions, shopping is mainly a chore, and he soon got bored - especially in clothes stores where Sokka spent an inordinate amount of time dithering over a large, green bag he couldn't decide whether he wanted or not. I thought of letting him buy it to make up for the near-loss of Boomerang, but he just wouldn't make up his mind.

Aang's interest was sparked when a shady-looking man with a bunch of flyers handed him one, telling him (in a confidential voice - as though he was imparting inside information) to check out Master Yu's Earthbending Academy. Aang read the flyer and flipped it round:_ Special promotion - first lesson is free. You only need to purchase a high-quality uniform, _it said.

Perhaps Master Wu was the guy we were looking for.

'I got it! Whadya think?' Sokka came up hugging the green bag he said he didn't want to buy.

'Nice, Sokka. I hope there enough money left for a new uniform. Aang's taking his first earthbending lesson!'

'Great! Let's head for the clothes stores again!'

So, to Aang's dismay, we went back to the street where the clothes and drapery stores were and soon found the right one: there was a huge sign outside one of the biggest stores advertising high-quality uniforms for Master Wu's Academy.

And high quality they certainly were, for they cost an arm and a leg! The man selling them was an impeccably-dressed merchant with a simpering voice and affected manners that reminded me of Mayor Tong. His eyebrows disappeared beneath his hat when we entered his shop, and he looked at us rather warily, though he mellowed considerably when he saw I could pay for the uniform (he wasn't so stuck-up as to refuse Water Tribe money) .

'That uniform fits perfectly, young sir,' he said as Aang reappeared from behind the curtained recess wearing the dark green tunic, a hat and white pants, 'the colour suits your pale skin tone so much better than that yellow...'

Aang gave him a dirty look, but the shopkeeper gushed on, unaware of the insult to airbender clothing.

'There's gold thread in the embroidered design around the neckline, and the material is of the finest-'

'Yeah, yeah, it'll do,' Aang cut across him abruptly and headed towards the door after dumping his airbender clothes in Sokka's new bag. I saw the shopkeeper looking curiously at the blue tattoos running down Aang's exposed arms. Even his feet were bare, except for a pair of metal anklets that matched his wrist bands. I hurried out of the store before the merchant started asking questions.

Master Wu's Earthbending Academy was quite an impressive building with a huge courtyard for practising.

'Hey Aang, don't tell this Master Wu who you are, ok?' I said before he went in. 'We don't know if we can trust him.'

'I won't. Wish me luck, guys.' And with a wave of the hand he was off.

Sokka and I waited patiently outside on a bench. I peeked once before they started – it was a Beginner's Class I think, for a lot of the kids inside looked younger than Aang. I hoped this was the earthbending teacher we had hoped for. We heard a lot of crashing sounds of rocks flung about but I resisted my curiosity and did not peek again : I didn't want to distract Aang,

However, it wasn't long before he appeared again, looking downcast and extremely dusty.

'He's not the one,' he said, sadly but firmly.

I could see that the earthbending hadn't been a success. But then Aang overheard two senior students discussing something called an 'Earth Rumble'. He wanted to know where it was but those two meatheads snubbed him. I had seen that attitude before: Master Pakku's students treated new pupils with the same kind of snobbery. I myself had got my fair share of it – only mine was tinged with a whole lot of gender-deprecating, snide, remarks. Until I showed them what I was worth, of course. And I did the same with these two.

It was bad enough the earthbending lesson hadn't turned out to be what Aang expected, he didn't need these idiots treating him that way!

'I'll take care of this,' I told Aang with a reassuring smile, as I ran to catch up with the two earthbending students.

Oh – I just _love_ it when I take guys like those down a peg or two! I just love seeing their superiority complex deflate, their patronising airs change to surprised alarm... I had had enough experience with Master Pakku's students (and to a degree, with Pakku himself) to know exactly what to do.

'Hey, strong guys… wait up!'

They did. They were waiting for me behind the corner, a smile on their lips and an eager look in their eyes: no doubt expecting to see me try and sweet-talk them into giving the information and ready to take advantage of it.

The expression on my face however, made it clear I wasn't going to sweet-talk anyone. The 'strong guys' smile faltered.

'My friend there asked you something,' I started.

'Who? The new kid? I don't know how dared show his face at the Academy,' the one with the spiky top-knot said.

'Yeah,' the other one continued with a laugh, 'He's not an earthbender - he couldn't even earthbend a pebble!'

But his laugh turned to a squeak of dismay as I swept him off his feet with a wave of water from the nearby gutter and slammed him into the wall, freezing him to it. His friend hadn't even had time to react before he found himself in a similar position on the other side of the narrow street.

'That 'new kid',' I said slowly and clearly, 'is the greatest bender any of you guys are likely to ever meet!'

I walked over to where they formed a frozen bridge across the alleyway, and bent some water out of my skin 'Now,' I said sweetly playing with the shiny rope of water 'I asked you a question.'

'This is c-c-c-cold!' The spiky-haired one's teeth were chattering and his eyes round with astonishment.

'Yes, it is. But it might just be thin enough to melt before you both lose some limbs from frost-bite. If you don't answer however, I may have to thicken the ice around you – or –wait, let's see – perhaps I could plaster your face in it…'

'The Earth Rumble 6 is taking place tonight at Xin Fu's ring beneath the large hill to the north of Gaoling. There are signs.'

'Thank you,' I said sweetly, turning to go.

'Hey – you can't don't leave us here!'

But I just smiled and left. That'll teach them to be kinder to new students. I had frozen a very thin layer of ice around them - it would only take a few minutes to melt. A skilled waterbender will immobise her enemies (or, in this case, two knuckle-heads) with enough water to do as much, or as little, damage as she pleases. And that water was from the gutter...

I told Aang and Sokka the good news and that we'd be going to the Earth Rumble 6.

'How did you get them to tell you?' Aang asked, puzzled.

' Oh, a girl has her ways,' I replied, thinking that, in a way, all the humiliation and punishments I went through initially with Master Pakku and his students has served its purpose – I know how to handle guys like these, now.

Aang was looking at me with a slight frown. 'Uh...right. Anyway, I hope we find someone better than Master Wu at the Earth Rumble'

'Wasn't Master Wu any good?'

'He didn't even seem to care. I think he's more interested in money. And he didn't even _listen_.'

'Listen to what?' Sokka said, fishing Momo out of his new bag.

'The earth.' And with that incomprehensible remark Aang moved off down the street.

Sokka and I exchanged a look.

'Avatar stuff,' Sokka shrugged.

Later on, at sunset, we headed out to the hills a short way to the north of the town. Soon we found that Xin Fu's stadium did not even need to be signposted for there were many groups of people heading in that direction. The Earth Rumble was apparently a very popular event around here.

The earthbending tournament was held in a huge cavern beneath a bare rocky hill, that looked suspiciously earthbender-made or modified. Inside, the huge space was illuminated by the green crystals and stone seats rose in tiers all around a central arena with a raised platform. We took the rather dangerous front row seats where no one was sitting and soon the Rumble began. Xin Fu introduced himself and promised an entertaining evening.

I wasn't so sure. As they came onto the platform – The Boulder; The Hippo; The Gopher; The Gecko... I had seen their type before in many town centres' busy marketplaces or village squares ... huge, sweaty, muscle-bound men with funny costumes and even funnier names wrestling each other or hurling rocks at each other in mock-fights. Sokka loved them. This Earth Rumble was in a much grander style than those simple ones we had seen on our travels, but it looked essentially the same to me, and, after the initial impact of the impressive cavern arena, I was soon bored. The fights seemed a bit more realistic, but other than that...

Sokka was enjoying every minute of it, championing the biggest, most muscle-bound of all: The Boulder -the one favoured to be the next champion.

I glanced over at Aang, wondering if he was anything like my brother, who got a kick out of watching stuff like this, or whether this kind of needless violence was something he had been taught to avoid. When I say 'needless violence' it's because I had my doubts, even here in this elaborate arena, whether the 'fighting' was really fighting at all, but an act. Aang wasn't cheering maniacally like my brother, who had got into the spirit of the fight, but he was looking on with interest, mixed with a healthy dose of disbelief.

I realised he was looking for something special about any one of these earthbenders. He was focussed on getting a teacher, and that I should be trying to help him.

Just then The Boulder guy ripped up half the arena and threw it, together with his opponent, right off the ring.

'How about The Boulder?' I said 'He's got some good moves.'

'I don't know,' Aang said hesitantly 'Bumi said I need a teacher who listens to the earth. He's just listening to his big muscles. What do you think, Sokka?

But Sokka, who was whooping like a demented turkey-duck, did not even hear him. I grinned: '_he's just listening to his muscles!'_ That was a good one – we could agree on that! I don't know what Aang meant by this 'listening to the earth' business, but I guess Bumi must have explained what to look for in a good teacher.

Fight after fight, sometimes in what seemed to me, very obvious, rehearsed, moves, The Boulder defeated every one of his opponents, marking every victory with a lot of sweaty, muscle-rippling displays, to the roars of approval from the crowd. To say it was disgusting is an understatement – The Boulder wasn't just listening to his muscles, he was deeply, incontrovertibly _in love with them!_ I expected him to turn his head and kiss his shiny biceps any minute...

But suddenly a hush fell on the crowd as Xin Fu announced: 'The moment you've all been waiting for…'

I even saw The Boulder stiffen slightly and look expectantly towards the edge of the ring. He was to fight the current champion. I waited expectantly too, but without much hope of seeing anything other than another muscle-bound earthbender.

So I was completely taken aback to see a tiny figure in green climb up the steps that led into the ring. It was a girl – not only a girl, but very young: she didn't look older than her early teens at the most, with a shock of black hair held back by a band, but a lot of which escaped said band and flopped untidily in front of her eyes – eyes that looked strangely blank.

Xin Fu introduced her as The Blind Bandit, but if she was blind how could she even have negotiated the steps to the ring without a guide or walking staff such as the blind use to navigate around objects? I thought it was part of her character or something, but a moment later, the Boulder confirmed she was a young blind girl by calling her exactly that. I couldn't see her eyes clearly at this distance but there was something about the way she held her head – kinda lowered - that further confirmed this girl couldn't see anything.

Well, the Blind Bandit certainly knew how to handle that big muscle-bound Boulder (or 'pebble' as she called him) She was completely unafraid and taunted the big guy.

It was a surreal scene: much as I admired the little girl's brave words, yet she looked so small… Being blind, how could she possibly hope to even survive? How could she be a champion?

Sokka, being the insensitive wart that he is, was howling for her defeat, but I was torn between admiration and pity. Aang looked – well, he looked stunned, like he'd seen a ghost or something. As the signal for the fight to start came, the crowd fell silent in tense anticipation. The Blind Bandit, in earthbending stance, stood completely motionless, as though she, too, was waiting.

Then something amazing happened.

The little blind girl beat the Boulder. I don't know how she did it, - perhaps she has a very acute sense of hearing - but she seemed to anticipate his every move, striking at the very last minute with some great earthbending moves that weren't aimed at being spectacular, but were sure as heck, effective. The Boulder lasted barely five minutes and he was thrown off the ring.

I was astounded and my admiration for this little girl grew in leaps and bounds.

'How did she do that?' I said.

**'**She waited, and listened,' Aang explained an eager look on his face 'Just like Bumi said. That's the one, Katara – she's my future earthbending teacher!'

_'_We can ask her if she takes students – but she looks so young, I doubt it. And we don't even know her name.'

'I'll talk to her.'

'Wait, Aang, you can do that after –'

But he had already moved towards the steps that led down to the pit around the ring. What I didn't expect is for him to take up the challenge Xin Fu was throwing at the crowd: face The Blind Bandit and win a sack of gold if you defeat her. What was Aang _thinking?_ He didn't know earthbending! And what was the hurry anyway?

The Blind Bandit taunted Aang just as she had done The Boulder, only this time, I didn't find it so funny, since Aang was at the receiving end of her sharp wit.

'Do people really want to see two little girls fighting out here?' she said nastily.

Now that Aang was close to her I could see that he was only a bit taller than her. Being surrounded by huge men like The Boulder and Xin fu made her appear much tinier than she actually is.

_'_I don't really want to fight you. I want to talk to you,' Aang pleaded.

Couldn't he have done that _afterwards,_ in private?

But the Blind Bandit was there to _fight_. From her words the blind girl seemed to somehow hear her opponent's footsteps. Aang being an airbender and light on his feet, was difficult for her to hear. Locate him she did however and shot a huge rock at him faster than an arrow – Aang acted instinctively, and with an airblast blew both the girl and her rock off the ring to a resounding sound of an astonished silence from the crowd. I don't think anyone but Sokka and I understood what just happened.

Seconds later, however, the whole place erupted in cheers at the unlikely turn of events. Aang had disappeared into the pit, running after the Blind Bandit, but by the time Sokka and I reached him, he was alone.

'She's gone,' he said, 'I didn't mean to do that –'

'Are you crazy?! That's a bag of gold you won!' Sokka cried, his previous disappointment with The Boulder's defeat completely forgotten as he dragged Aang back into the ring. Given what we had paid today, most of the Water Tribe money was gone, so I couldn't help but feel relieved Aang had won the bag of gold. Aang's mind, however, was on the young girl.

'I know she's supposed to be my earthbending teacher,' Aang told us, when we had finally shaken off the last of the well-wishers from the Earth Rumble 6 stadium and were heading back to where we had left Appa, 'She listens – somehow she can hear the earth, just like Bumi said.'

'We'll go back to Gaoling tomorrow and ask around, Aang. People are bound to know who their ex-champion is.'

'Well, actually she should still be champion. I used airbending to knock her off the ring.'

'No, she shouldn't – since you're not blind, she had an unfair advantage over you,' Sokka said.

Sometimes, I just don't know where my brother gets his ideas of fairness from. But he had already tied the champion's belt around his waist and I could see he liked the look of it there.

'Anyhow, I hope we find her. Actually, I think we _will_ find her, because not only is she what Bumi recommended, she's also the girl I saw in the swamp!'

Oh.

'Nah – she couldn't be,' Sokka insisted 'I told you already: no swamp-gas dream could've foretold the future.'

'But you said – you said she was dressed in fancy clothes,' I said, clutching at straws 'The Blind Bandit was dressed in ...well...earthbending clothes.'

'Yeah, I know, but it was her face, her laugh ... it's _her_, Katara- I just know it.'

Aang's face was eager and excited at having found an earthbending teacher. Mine was less enthusiastic. It's not that I resent having another teacher take my place – I've been anticipating that waterbending will have to take a second place to earthbending for a long time now, and rightly so, but I did not quite expect the teacher to be the young girl Aang was chasing back at the swamp – someone who, if time is the illusion it's supposed to be, will become a very important part of Aang's life.

Of course, if we _do_ manage to find her and she becomes Aang's teacher, that automatically would make her an important part of Aang's life, right?

If I had to judge by the visions my brother and I had, however, a teacher- student relationship doesn't exactly fall into the same category of importance as the ones we saw.

I suppose I should be glad that Aang may have found what he sorely needs at this point – an earthbending teacher. Even if her voice sounds so uncannily like Meng's, even though she's an awesome bender and feisty and tough and pretty…. I certainly will not let him see these selfish doubts of mine. After all, I can lay no claim on Aang's affections other than a sisterly one (wasn't I writing in this book, only a few days ago, that I must keep the distance between us?) There – I've found the evidence of what I've written in a previous journal entry:

_I have made my decision and I will stick to it – Aang needs to learn waterbending skills that will help him fight Ozai, and nothing else, _I wrote ... _Perhaps he'll come to the conclusion (if he hasn't done so a long time ago) that there's nothing more between us than a surreptitious romantic moment in a dark tunnel, brought on by the old tales of undying love. Perhaps it's better this way. _

My own words stare at me, silvery bright in the moonlight and undeniably real. I feel sad, and there's a vague sense of unease that I can't shake off. It's as though we're on the eve of some great change, and I don't know if it will be good or bad.

Sometimes, just as I may regret saying something, I regret having written it even more...

**166 th day of our Journey. Tonight we are guests at the sprawling estate of the Bei Fong family, on the outskirts of Gaoling. Our intention to ask her to be Aang's earthbending teacher is complicated by the fact that Toph Bei Fong is leading a double life without her parents knowledge: her other persona is 'The Blind Bandit' the champion of the Earth rumble : an earthbending fight hosted in Earth Rumble arena. **

**Her parents know nothing about this and she wants to keep it that way. So I have my doubts whether she can be persuaded.**

This morning Aang was up early (well, earlier than usual) and eager to go searching for the Blind Bandit. I was determined not to let him see my doubts and had resolved to put all my efforts into finding this girl.

First, however, I dragged them both to the cloth merchant where we had bought Aang's uniform. He would have no further use of it, so I had cleaned and dusted it and intended to try and sell it back to the shopkeeper. He snobbishly told us he didn't accept second-hand clothes. _Second-hand clothes?!_ Aang had barely worn it for only one day! But we found a another store-owner who gave me back half the money I had paid for it -apparently, being so expensive, there's quite a market for these uniforms.

It was mid-morning when we got to Master Wu's Academy. It turned out that no-one knows the Blind Bandit's real name, but when Aang described how the girl in his vision had a pet Flying Boar, the guys there said it was the Bei Fong family's symbol.

So, a couple of hours later, we were standing outside the huge, heavily-guarded gates of a large estate on the outskirts of Gaoling. The crest on the gates bore the symbol of a Flying Boar and Aang got very excited, even though the kids back at the academy said the Bei Fongs had no daughter.

We got in by the simple expedient of climbing over the wall, intending to poke around for clues as to where or how the mysterious Blind Bandit was connected to this place. We found ourselves in a beautifully-manicured garden with ornamental shrubs and winding pathways. It seemed deserted, but then suddenly the earth beneath our feet heaved just like the taut skin of a drum: something pulled it down and then it lashed upwards, throwing us all into the air. I landed in a bush, winded.

'What are you doing here, Twinkle toes?'

It was a voice I recognised: the Blind Bandit, only she was different: very, very different: dressed in a beautiful white silk gown with delicate embroidery and green trimming, she looked completely unlike the bandit. And now that I was seeing her up close I could see that she was very pretty, with thick black hair elegantly piled up above her head and neatly brushed off her face. Her eyes, a pale green or blue, were covered with a milky-white film and focussed straight ahead, proclaiming her blindness.

'How did you know it was me?' Aang was asking, but the blind girl was more ticked off at the fact that we had found her.

I tried to explain that Aang was the Avatar and he needed to master earthbending to defeat Ozai. This usually instigates an immediate response from people – after a hundred years, the Avatar's return has become big news in the Earth Kingdom ( with the rare exception of towns like Chin or those occupied by the Fire Nation), but to my surprise, the blind girl just shoved her hand in front of my face, stopping me.

'Not my problem,' she said 'Now get out of here or I'll call the guards'.

And that's what she did.

We barely made it over the wall on time.

I heard the guard address the girl as 'Toph'.

'I thought I heard someone,' she said in a tremulous, little-girl voice that would have fooled me, hadn't I known better, 'I got scared.'

'_Scared?!_' Sokka whispered with a scowl, 'That girl called The Boulder a _Pebble_ right to his face!'

'I have a feeling this Toph is leading a double life, guys,' I said 'She wasn't too pleased we discovered the mystery of the Blind Bandit. And whatever those kids back at the academy may have said, I think Toph _is_ the daughter of the Bei Fongs.'

'That's weird,' Sokka said 'But how are we gonna persuade her? We can't even get in.'

'I think I know how we can,' Aang said, jumping down lightly from the wall 'It's time to pull rank, and if the Bei Fongs are as rich as those kids said they were, they'll be the type to fall for it.'

'Fall for what?' Sokka asked, doubtfully.

'They'll want to meet the Avatar.' Aang said, with a mischievous grin. 'C'mon!'

And taking off his hat, he set off in the direction of the front gates.

It was a simple idea, but an effective one. Someone as important as the Bei Fong family would brag about hosting the Avatar in their estates: it would be a genteel way of thumbing their noses at the Fire Nation Invaders, and, at the same time, boost their social status among the who's who of the Earth Kingdom.

I grinned as I saw Aang 'pull rank,' as he called it, on the guards. They didn't believe him at first, thinking he was just some kid in an airbender costume.

Aang grabbed his staff and with a sharp air blast, knocked the Guards hats off making their hair stand on end and their eyes bug out in surprise.

'There is only _one_ real airbender!' he said, sharply, 'Now announce my presence to your Master. If I have to do it myself, he will not be too pleased with you –'

It was funny how the confidence and change in tone worked wonders, for the guards almost fell over themselves to do what he said. It was even better than when he was Bonzu Pipinpadaloxicopolis.

'Where d'you learn how to do that?' Sokka whispered in admiration as we were ushered in through the gates.

'Careful observation. Guards at a nobleman's gate are trained to recognise who matters', Aang said with a grin, 'And that's what big, important families care about.'

Sometimes Aang is even worldlier than I give him credit for.

'I don't think you should mention The Blind Bandit in front of this girl's father, Aang, 'I cautioned 'She acted so different with the guards, and they said her father doesn't allow her to walk unsupervised in the garden. I think this double personality of hers is more complicated than we think.' At that moment, the servant ushered us into a sumptuously decorated dining room where the Bei Fong family were having dinner and we were invited to join them. They had a guest with them – Master Wu, from the Academy.

It was one of the finest we had ever sat down to – not only the quality and quantity of the food, but the refined elegance of the diners themselves. Servants bustled about the tables in silent subservience, fetching and carrying silver platters of food.

Lao Bei Fong sat at the head of the table , his wife Poppy Bei Fong, next to Master Wu. Both the Bei Fongs were dressed in formal robes of patterned silks. I discreetly smoothed down the creases in my travel-worn tunic, noting with dismay the grass-stains from my earlier close encounter with the ornamental bush in the Bei Fong's garden. Toph, who was sitting opposite Aang, was so perfectly groomed, with clean white robes and elaborate up-styled hair, that I felt like a rough, countrified slob compared to her. Even the table manners of the Bei Fongs were impeccable, and each gesture seemed to have a stylised formality which was making me increasingly uneasy. We had attended many great feasts – in King Bumi's Palace; in Chief Arnook's ice halls – but nothing beat this elegance.

Lao engaged Aang in a deep, involved conversation about military strategy, for he had heard of the fall of Omashu and wanted to know of plans for its recapture. Toph's father is a wealthy, influential man but though he said he helped the war effort financially, that's where it stops. He is not a military man. Poppy Bei Fong, on the other hand, was interested in my role in the group and asked me as many questions as it was polite to. She listened in incredulous wide-eyed wonder (not unmixed with something akin to shock) as I outlined some of our adventures and my efforts to help Aang in his mission. This last, unlike my travel-stained clothes, was something I was proud of.

I think I would have coped quite well if Sokka hadn't started wolfing down his food like a starved bull-pig, shovelling food in his mouth as though he'd never seen it before...

And that was just the beginning: things got really awkward when Aang started dropping hints that Toph was a good earthbender. I could see that, as we suspected, her parents knew absolutely nothing about her double life – they seemed to think her a helpless, blind girl. Even Master Wu, who was Toph's earthbending teacher, was completely in the dark. It must have been quite a feat to hide her talents from her own bending master – clearly there was far more to Toph than the surprising combination of blindness and earthbending skill.

But why didn't she want her parents to know? Surely they would be pleased with her skill and independence? I tried to figure out the strange family dynamics of the Bei Fong household, for something wasn't quite right. Toph clearly _wanted_ them to be kept in the dark.

Suddenly, Aang's chair moved back and he yelled in surprise – I think Toph had something to do with it, judging by the annoyed look he threw in her direction. Toph's face, however, betrayed nothing. She was quietly and daintily finishing her meal – a picture of good breeding and manners. But something definitely was up for next instant, Aang was jolted right into his plate of food and he retaliated by sneezing half the tableware, food and all, onto Toph. Everyone looked up, shocked.

'What's your problem?' she yelled suddenly, pushing her chair back and standing up.

'What's _your_ problem?!' Aang shouted back.

Toph's mother intervened, as a perfect hostess would, to diffuse the awkward situation and led us all into the living room where we finished desert without any more food flying across the room. But the conversation thereafter was awkward and stilted. Master Wu kept telling Aang he would be honoured to teach him, and whether he could advertise the fact that he's teaching the Avatar on his flyers; Lao wanted to know more about the war, and his wife kept name-dropping in an obvious attempt to both impress and see who our connections were. As for Toph, she excused herself to go change her clothes and did not come back.

All in all, not a very auspicious introduction to Aang's future earthbending teacher-to-be. I even thought that that was the last we'd seen of Toph and that perhaps Aang's vision in the swamp was wrong. But that evening, Toph came to visit us in the luxurious room we had been given for the night. She was in her night attire and in a different mood altogether, apologising for earlier (Aang had explained what had happened beneath the dinner table).

'Take a walk with me,' she told Aang, and headed towards the door.

Aang and I exchanged a look, then he shrugged and followed her out.

'Where d'you think she's taking him?' I asked Sokka.

'The garden,' Sokka answered laconically, glancing out of the window.

'D'you think Aang'll be okay? They were pretty mad at each other at dinner.'

'She apologised, didn't she? Relax, Katara – Aang'll charm her into agreeing to be his teacher. You'll see!'

That did not make me relax.

'I think I'll go and check on them'

I did not know how I felt about Toph – it was almost like she had a duel personality, but my gut feeling was that her true nature was closer to the 'Blind Bandit' – tough, resourceful and determined, rather than the helpless delicate Bei Fong heiress her parents knew. And why did she want to take a walk with Aang? She seemed pretty determined not let her parents know about her secret earthbending skills. She would never consent to teach Aang, so what was she telling him?

I went to the main door and looked out. Aang and Toph were some distance away in the moonlit path of the large, deserted garden

'...why stay here where you're not happy?' Aang was saying.

'They're my parents. Where else am I supposed to go?' Toph replied, with the edge of bitterness in her voice.

Aang didn't say anything for a second, then he smiled and said: 'You could come with us.'

I moved back inside. I shouldn't have been eavesdropping anyway. I remember when Aang had suggested just that to me once, a long time ago, back at the South Pole, I had been so thrilled, and yet so scared. To just leave everything and go... It was so natural for an Air Nomad, but it had been profoundly challenging for me then. Now, of course, I wouldn't have it any other way, but I think Toph Bei Fong may have some issues with what Aang has asked her to do.

I don't know if she'll accept – or whether I'll be glad if she does...

'Well?' Sokka asked, as I returned to the room.

'Well, what?'

'Are they fighting, or –?'

'Aang's asked her to come with us.'

'Ha! Toldjya! It'll be great if she comes. Toph could make loadsa money in the ring- I can't believe she won't tell her family – they're a weird bunch.'

'I'm sure the Bei Fongs already have more money than they know what to do with. That's not the problem, Sokka – it's something else. Perhaps Toph doesn't want to ruin what her parents believe her to be: a helpless blind girl. She's _afraid_ of telling them the truth for some reason.'

We fell silent. I can't imagine _Toph_ taking up Aang on his offer - the only daughter of the richest family in this part of the Earth Kingdom wouldn't be allowed to just take off into the unknown – even with the Avatar ( who after all, is public enemy number one is some parts of this Kingdom) Her parents are clearly overprotective of her. But the _Blind Bandit_ might just take up Aang's offer.

She's such a strange girl – I don't even know what to make of her.

Aang and Toph have been gone for almost an hour now and I'm starting to get uneasy. I hope they haven't fought again or anything. Perhaps I'd better check on them one last time.

**167 th day of our journey, and the last in Gaoling. Yesterday evening, the Avatar and Toph Bei Fong were kidnapped while walking in the garden of the Bei Fong family estate. A note from Xin Fu requested us to go to the Earth Rumble arena with ransom money. Lao Beifong, Master Wu, Sokka and I went there and gave Xin Fu and his henchmen the 500 gold pieces Aang had won. However, they only released Toph, intending to hand Aang over to the Fire Nation for the reward money mentioned on his 'Wanted' poster.**

**Things took an unexpected turn when Toph Bei Fong single-handedly fought and overpowered her kidnappers, thus saving the Avatar and greatly surprising both her father and her Earthbending teacher from whom she had kept her skills a secret.**

**Her father however, was greatly displeased at what he deemed a lack of discipline and threatened a 24-hour surveillance around his daughter. **

**He dismissed us from his estates as unwelcome guests.**

**In spite of this, before we left, Toph Bei Fong joined us, saying her father had a change of heart, and that she will teach the Avatar earthbending.**

I just knew something was wrong. Aang and Toph were nowhere to be seen! I called Sokka and Toph's parents and Master Wu, who was also a guest for the night, and we soon found out what happened, for the ransom note was pinned to the ground near two suspicious, freshly-dug depressions in the soil. The ransom note only mentioned Toph but I knew Aang had been kidnapped too.

'They're after the 500 gold pieces Aang won,' I told Sokka. 'Perhaps they think we're in league.'

'I'll get the money bag. I guess it was too good to be true.'

Soon we found ourselves inside the deserted Earth Rumble arena. Toph and Aang were in separate metal containers, dangled from chains similar to the one Bumi had been placed in. We handed the money over but only Toph was released. Xin Fu showed us Aang's 'wanted' poster saying he would fetch a hefty sum if handed over to the Fire Nation.

As I had suspected, The Boulder, The gecko and all the motley assortment of earthbending fighters we had seen in the Earth Rumble 6 were all part of Xin Fu's team. Xin Fu was nothing but a conman, and the Earth Rumble a rehearsed show – with the exception of the Blind Bandit, of course.

I was furious and prepared to freeze that greedy look off Xin Fu's face permanently, but when the rest of his henchmen appeared I knew that with 7 earthbenders in an earthbending ring, we were at a great disadvantage. We needed an amazing earthbender to even the odds and Toph was the only one I knew who had beaten these guys before. In desperation, I appealed to her to help us just as she was being led away by her father.

I didn't know what was between father and daughter that made her so wary of telling the truth, but this was Aang we were talking about – _the Avatar_! She couldn't just let him fall into Fire Nation hands!

But Lao Bei Fong was outraged at what I was asking, still under the impression his daughter was blind and helpless. I was just about to try something else – I was going to ask Lao Bei Fong to top the Fire Nations reward money to get Aang back – he was rich enough and professed to detest the Fire Nation invaders- but then something amazing happened – Toph suddenly agreed to help us. She earthbended a huge barrier, stopping Xin Fu's men in their tracks and another wall behind us prevented her father and Master Wu from following her. She wouldn't even let us help her:

'They're mine,' she said with an ugly look on her face as Xin Fu's motley crew approached at a run.

The Hippo guy had dumped Aang's metal casket down and we made our way towards it. Lao and Master Wu had no other option except to take their places in the viewers' stands, a shocked and terrified look on their faces.

I couldn't blame them really – Toph looked so small and fragile still in her night clothes – but the small smile hovering around her lips told me otherwise.

It took us forever to break open the lock on Aang's casket and when we did Toph had finished off almost all of her opponents except The Boulder and Xin Fu. There was no need for us to intervene however and The Boulder ended up in a groaning heap at the bottom of the pit with the rest of the crew. Xin Fu joined them a few minutes later.

I glanced over at Master Wu and Loa Bei Fong. Surely they were amazed and pleased At Toph's incredible skill? Master Wu was – he was saying Toph was the greatest Earthbender he had ever seen, but the look on Lao Bei Fong's face was not what I expected. He looked surprised even white with shock, but I couldn't say his expression was pleased.

Toph, who couldn't see her father's face, knew, or anticipated, his displeasure somehow, for she approached him cautiously.

'Dad?'

Her voice was hesitant.

'It is time to go home,' he said, coldly 'You need to clean up and put on something more dignified. We will speak more of this later.' And he stood up and headed towards the door.

Toph lowered her head, dusty dark hair falling untidily across her face.

'Mr Bei Fong, Sir, Toph has just saved the Avatar, she's – ' I started, incensed at his treatment of his daughter. Any other father would have been proud of her, but Lao held up his hand to stop me.

'I would appreciate if you'll join me in the drawing room as soon as Toph is decently dressed once more. I need to speak with the Avatar.'

A muscle on Lao's face twitched and I could see he was angry But at what? Ok, fighting in the Earth Rumble wasn't that genteel and lady-like, but look at what she could do! Aang, who was picking up his own 'wanted' poster from where Xin Fu had dropped it, looked at Lao and nodded, frowning.

'I have something to say to you too, Dad,' Toph said quietly, but firmly.

Loa raised his eyebrows but did not answer her and we walked the rest of the way home in silence. Master Wu kept looking at Toph, evidently amazed at his pupil's hidden talent, but her father looked straight ahead and walked in silence. Sokka, Aang and I brought up the rear, exchanging incredulous looks. It was almost midnight when we were summoned in front of Lao and Poppy Bei Fong in the family's receiving room. Toph was already there, speaking to her father in a firm voice, explaining about her double life and how they had hidden her away from the world to protect her. She was right about that - no-one seemed to know of her existence in Gaoling.

'I'm twelve years old and I've never had a real friend,' she said.

That was so sad. How could any parents keep their daughter prisoner in a gilded cage? Was it to protect her, as Toph seemed to think, or because they didn't want to acknowledge having a blind daughter? I felt so sorry for Toph and it threw a whole different perspective on her situation. But why didn't she confront them sooner? Why now?

'I hope it doesn't change the way you feel about me,' Toph ended, turning her face anxiously towards her father.

I could hear the pleading note in her voice and suddenly many thing fell into place: Toph was afraid of losing her parent's love and esteem! They were her parents after all. Their perception of her as the blind, obedient daughter of the wealthiest family in this part of the Earth Kingdom was something she was convinced they wanted and appreciated more than who she really was!

And she was right.

Her hopes were dashed as Lao's stern countenance hardened as he declared that he would put his daughter under a 24 hour surveillance. He told us we were no longer welcome . I guess he thought us a bad influence on his daughter. Poor Toph! I saw a tear slide down her cheek as she said goodbye – I knew it was only loyalty and love of her parents that were keeping her so subservient: she was a great earth bender and I had a suspicion that, 24-hour surveillance or not – she could earthbend her bodyguards to jelly if she wanted to! It was her own decision that was keeping her prisoner now, just as much as her parents distorted view of what was best for her. But how could her father be so hard-hearted?

I had seen the shock and dismay on her mother and father's faces when they found out she had been kidnapped, so I had no doubt that they loved their daughter – but this was not the way to show it, especially after Toph had proved her independence! It was so _unfair_ - I was feeling as bad as though I was in Toph's shoes myself! Didn't the Bei Fongs realise they were driving their daughter away with their suffocating over-protectiveness?

I discovered how true this was when, barely half an hour later we were preparing to leave. Aang was downcast as we packed our stuff on Appa.

'Don't worry', I said reassuringly, 'We'll find you a teacher. There are plenty of amazing earthbenders out there.'

'Not like her,' he answered sadly.

I remembered how uncomfortable I was about having the mysterious swamp-girl as Aang's earthbending teacher. The way things had turned out now, I was feeling distinctly guilty about my earlier doubts. Then, just as we were about to take off, Toph appeared, in her Blind Bandit clothes, saying her father had changed his mind.

Sokka and I exchanged looks.

Sure he did. All the more reason to make a quick getaway – it was past midnight already and Bei Fong's bodyguards would be on our trail.

'You're gonna be a great teacher, Toph,' Aang said delightedly.

But Toph tapped the ground and the shockwave of that simple gesture flung Aang in the highest branches of the nearest tree.

'_Now_ we're even!' she said with a grin and she demanded her champion's belt back from Sokka.

I guess she's making it quite clear who Toph Bei Fong, alias the Blind Bandit, really is! Well, with us she won't have to pretend any more. I don't want her to. Aang will learn earthbending quickly from her – if she's only 12 and managed so much alone, then she'll get Aang to make up for lost time and meet the deadline ahead of us.

She's very quiet now, and clinging tightly to the rim of the saddle. She said Appa flying is something she'll have to get used to, for she can't see well ( she told us about how she sees through feeling vibrations beneath her feet) but, somehow, she knows the direction of her home and her face is turned towards the moonlit, sprawling, Bei Fong estates as they recede in the distance. I wonder what's going on in her mind. We'll set down as soon as we find somewhere to spend the night then we'll head off again as soon as we can, to throw off any Bei Fong bodyguards I'm almost sure are on our trial.

Even while I'm writing this, Toph hasn't said a word. Aang has taken over from Sokka at Appa's head. Sokka eyed Toph's belt enviously for a while, but his eyes are drooping now and he's nodding off.

Toph's milky-pale eyes have finally turned away from the direction of her childhood home and a determined, stubborn look has settled on her features. It is uncannily reminiscent of that of her father.


	33. Chapter 33

**168 th day of our Journey. We are heading east, away from Gaoling and flying above a mountain range that should provide us with some ideal spots for practising earth bending. We think it prudent to put some distance between us and the town of Gaoling first. **

**The climate here is milder and the warmth of spring can be felt more than in the previous towns we've stayed in. Food is also more plentiful in the forests and woods of these mountains and valleys here.**

Toph is clearly quite an independent girl – she needed no help in gathering food (although she only got enough for herself) and it's amazing what she can 'see' with her feet. One tiny tap with her feet and she could tell there were early-ripening late-ripening Moon Peaches wobbling in the branches of a nearby tree. Another tiny tap and the ripe ones fell off.

'I'm used to roughing it,' she told me when I offered her some blankets.

I thought being used to the finest feather beds and silk sheets, she'd find our very basic sleeping beds and tents too crude, but she just earthbended herself a stone shelter and lay down on the ground to sleep.

Perhaps it's an earthbender thing.

Anyway, as I explained, the weather is much warmer here, so I'm sure she'll be fine. I wonder what she meant by 'roughing it'? I know her parents were in the dark about her secret life, but given their over-protectiveness, I don't think she could've stayed away from home for too long.

The Bei Fongs are the reason why we're still travelling east. Whatever Toph may say, I'm sure the truth is she's run away from home and her father will have sent people on her trail. I tried to speak to her about her parents, but she told me, none too politely, to mind my own business.

I suppose it's still too early to broach that subject with her – she's still too hurt at her father and mother's attitude. I can't quite understand it myself. There seems to be more than over-protectiveness on her parents' part. Why would they want to keep her hidden to the point where she has no friends?

I hope _we _can be friends. I feel really bad about my earlier resentment. Looking back at what I've written in this book when we left the Foggy swamp, it almost seems as though I was jealous of her - _even before I met her_!

Well perhaps I was – just a little bit. Especially given that she turned out to be every bit as wealthy and elegant as in Aang's vision. And very talented and pretty into the bargain!

I don't know why I felt that way – it's not as though I have any real claim to Aang's affections beyond what is natural in a close-knit group such as ours... I should be glad, for both Toph and Aang's sake, that this has happened.

Which is why I hope Toph Bei Fong will fit in too. She needs us, now that she's alone. As Aang's earthbending teacher she will be with us for a long time, so I hope we can get along together and she can be part of our group. I'll do my best to make her feel welcome. After all, I should be glad to have another girl in the group: I could learn from her. She knows all about etiquette and manners and high-class living. Perhaps she can give me a few pointers about fashion and make-up and stuff like that, for I felt a bit awkward during the Bei Fong's formal dinner. Those are things I can never talk to Sokka and Aang about – they think them boring.

I used to think so too, when, back at the South Pole, the women often talked about nothing else, but I've grown up a bit since then, and it's been a long time now that I've been solely in boys' company. Not that I mind – far from it, but it would be nice to talk to someone about hairstyles and hats...

Anyway, tomorrow's another day... I'd better go and find a quiet spot in the stream nearby to wash. I seem to have more of Appa's fur on my clothes and hair than usual.

**169 th day of our journey. We continue in an eastward direction. The spring weather is so much warmer in this part of the Earth Kingdom, that it has triggered shedding in the Avatar's flying bison. **

**I hope we can find a suitable place to start earthbending practise soon.**

I'm finding out travelling with Toph may not be quite what I expected. First of all, I don't think I'm getting those lessons on fine grooming I had thought I would: Toph is even worse than a boy when it comes to rowdy or gross behaviour. Appa is shedding, and it was bad enough with him sneezing the stuff all over the place, but when Toph stuffed some clumps of it down the armholes of her dress and talked about having hairy pits,( to Sokka and Aang's infinite amusement), I knew my learning anything about fine breeding from her was a far-fetched dream.

But what's bugging me most about her is that she does not help. Unlike her parents, _I'm_ quite confident that she is very capable of doing all tasks very efficiently, yet she does not lend a hand with the simplest of them.

This afternoon, after collecting some food for herself, she just lay back lazily on the ground while we worked hard to set up camp before nightfall.

I tried to explain to her how we usually divide up the work, but she doesn't seem to understand.

It's almost like she doesn't want to be part of the group.

**171 st day of our journey. We have been chased through the previous night and much of yesterday by a Fire Nation Train-tank. It was driven by the three girls we had seen at Omashu. One of them, a Firebending prodigy, turned out to be Zuko's sister, Princess Azula. We realised that they were following the trail of Appa's shed fur to find us, so after washing Appa, the Avatar set a false trail of fur to the abandoned mining town of Tu Zin. Azula tracked him there and so did Zuko and his Uncle Iroh. Sokka and I arrived there some time later, having been held up by Azula's two companions.**

**There was no love lost between the Fire Nation royal family, however, for Zuko and Iroh are both outcasts now, so in the final showdown at Tu Zin we ended up in the surreal situation of battling Azula, with Zuko and Iroh on our side! **

**Having been awake for over 48 hours we were tired, but Azula knew she was outnumbered and made her escape, wounding her own uncle in the process. **

**Zuko refused my help to heal Iroh, so we made our own escape, this time without anyone on our trail.**

When I woke up today, it was almost noon. I found I had fallen asleep so close to Toph, I was practically hugging her. I remember we had been so tired we had collapsed were we stood, and no-one bothered with tents or even sleeping bags.

Aang was the only one up and about. He was near Appa with a brush in his hand, and he was looking at us with a wide grin on his face.

I knew why of course.

'What?' I said defiantly, getting up and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I glanced up at the midday sun. I had never slept so late before.

'Nothing,' Aang replied innocently, as he proceeded to brush Appa's fur and collect the shed clumps in a ball at his feet. There was much less of it now.

'You're smiling at something,' I said, a trifle grumpily.

'The peace and quiet,' Aang's lips twitched upwards, but otherwise he kept a straight face.

'Yeah, right.'

With a grimace I got up, feeling stiff but quite rested. I knew what Aang was referring to.

It has been the worst two nights since we came back to the Earth Kingdom. And not only because they were almost completely sleepless, but because we clashed so badly with Toph, that she actually left us.

And the worst of the personality clash was between Toph and me.

I still can't think why I resented Toph's selfish attitude so much more than I should have...

After all, that first night, it was she who realised that horrible contraption was after us. (Sokka said it's a Tank-train: a sophisticated adaptation of a Fire Nation tank) and I'm grateful to her for that. We took one look at it and packed everything up to put some distance between us and that tank-train.

It was very late when we found another campsite. We were all very tired, yet Toph wouldn't lift a finger to help. She thought only of herself, as though the rest of us didn't count! She said she could carry her own weight, but I was convinced that if she wants to be part of the group, then she has to pitch in and _help _as part of the group. After all, she's no longer at the Bei Fong estates, with servants at her beck and call, ready to do everything for her!

That's when we had our first big fight.

'Sugar Queen' she called me, and spoke as though leaving her home to join us was sacrifice enough. It can't have been that much of a sacrifice if she was unhappy there... She was so infuriatingly rude and unwilling to listen, that I lost my temper! I even yelled at Aang when he tried to calm me down, and stooped low enough to have a go at her for being blind, taunting that she was missing out on the beuty of a starry night!

Yes, I actually said that.

Now that I'm writing this at some distance of time and rest, I know that a lot of it had to do with us being all very tired, and I'm really ashamed of what I said. Not that night however: I was furious at Toph, but our quarrel was cut short by the arrival of the Tank-train again. That thing moved really fast, and seemed to be hunting us, but this time, Aang was determined to outrun it and pushed Appa to the limit. We flew for hours among high mountain peaks and when we finally set down again, on a high mountain plateau, we were sure we'd given it the slip, but once again, for the third time, we saw the rising smoke of the Tank-train heading towards us. It was like a nightmare!

So this time we let them get close to us.

The machine clanked to a stop and out of it came three Mongoose-dragon lizards with their riders, slithering fast and smooth up the mountain towards us. But what really shocked me was the identity of the three riders – they were the girls from Omashu! The lizards climbed easily over the obstacles Toph earthbended at them and when she stepped it up a notch and earthbended a whole wall, their leader blew it to bits with blue lightning.

We barely made it to reach Appa and fly to safety again!

It felt as though our only option was to keep on flying _forever…_

That was impossible of course, but my brain was so befuddled I wasn't even thinking straight. Besides, the sight of that girl – not the one with blue lightning or the knife-throwing one, TomTom's sister, – but the one with the long plait and the deceptively sweet face, sent shivers down my spine. She was the scariest of the three for she had taken away my bending! I know, now, that the effect is temporary, but the feeling of helplessness still haunts me and I guess that's why I feared her even more than her companions.

The sun rose between the mountains and I was so tired I think I must have dozed off for a few minutes, when suddenly, I found myself falling out of the sky! Appa had fallen asleep while flying! Aang tried to wake Appa up, while we clung on desperately to the sides of the saddle as the forest below rose up fast towards us! Just as I was sure we'd hit the ground in free fall, Appa straightened out and crashed through the trees and branches before coming to a juddering stop on the forest floor!

Shaken by our fall, as well as tired and irritated, I ...well...I guess, in my frustration, I was just looking for someone to blame.

And Toph had already thrown herself down to sleep.

'We could have gotten some sleep earlier if Toph didn't have such _issues_!' I said as I unpacked our sleeping bags.

Toph jumped up, stung by my words.

Aang, who was the only one as yet untouched by her abrasiveness (she had called Sokka a non-bender and practically useless as a fighter), tried to intervene and calm us down, but falling out of the sky had woken me up enough to not want to back off.

But when she said that it was Appa's fault we were in that predicament, Aang finally snapped too.

'How _dare_ you blame Appa!' he shouted at her, his face twisted in anger, 'He saved your life three times today! If there's anyone to blame, it's _you_! You're always talking about how you carry your own weight, but you're not! _He_ is! Appa's carrying your weight! He never had a problem flying when it was just the three of us!'

There was silence for a moment. Aang was right of course. Appa had saved all our lives – including hers! Aang is very touchy about Appa and at that moment, the poor beast was thoroughly exhausted, but Aang's last words carried a sting that even _I _felt. I looked at Toph as Aang's words fell harshly between us, and I saw her face go white and still, and her expression become suddenly closed. My anger, which had previously been boiling over, slowly dissipated as I realised that she was hurt and surprised.

Those few seconds seemed to stretch out for longer than was normal, but then, with a tap of her foot, she earthbended her bag up and grabbed it.

'I'm outta here,' she said tersely, as she walked away.

We watched her small but defiant figure disappear among the trees. I think tiredness as well as anger was making us both slow to react, for we stood in silence for several minutes as though unsure of what had just happened. Then it slowly dawned on me that we had just showed Toph we didn't want her around us! She had gone from an over-protective family to one that _didn't care_! My anger was fast turning to guilt – what if something happened to her? She was tough, but with those three girls following us, she would be an easy target on her own. Aang was slowly coming to his senses too:

'What did I just do!?' he cried with a stricken face, flopping down near Appa 'I can't believe I yelled at my earthbending teacher. Now she's gone!'

And _I_ had started all this. We were all still getting used to each other and I hadn't given her a chance to find her own place in our group. Toph had left her family for good, and that can't have been easy, whatever she may pretend to the contrary. She had gone from a life of luxury and being waited on hand and foot, to one where she had to carry her own weight.

With sudden insight, I understood why she kept repeating that phrase so proudly. It was a big deal, for her!

How could I have so blind? Blinder than Toph, in fact! I should have been more understanding.

'We need to find Toph and apologize,' I started, even though I knew going after Toph right at that moment was not an option. She'd probably earthbend the closest boulder right at us!

But Aang had a plan.

'Appa needs a bath,' he said, grabbing a bunch of the bison's fur and pulling.

A thick wad of white fur came away and as he opened his hand it fluttered away in the breeze, like elongated snowflakes.

I squirmed and brushed my clothes, feeling all itchy as the coarse hair had penetrated through the material of my robe. It was all over me – even in my hair, but in my befuddled state it took me a few moments to realise what Aang was saying. His gesture mimicked that of Toph, and he didn't need to tell me that she had been right – Appa's shedding was leading the Tank train to us all the time.

It took a while to persuade a sleepy Appa to go into the river nearby, but I think he enjoyed the intense brushing and grooming we had in store for him. We worked hard to remove his winter coat and, though it came off quite easily, it was hard work (there's an amazing amount of surface area on a Flying Bison!). When we finished and rinsed him off, it was already afternoon and the three of us had dark circles under our eyes and I felt about ready to drop.

Appa, after his bath and rest seemed a bit perkier and Aang said he could fly again as long as we took the saddle off and lightened the weight. We would look for Toph on Appa, and in the meantime, he, Aang, would lead the Tank-train off course with a false trail of Appa fur. We would both meet at night fall near the river where we'd washed Appa.

Having hidden the saddle and our stuff, we led a disgruntled (but clean and unshedding) Appa to a clearing and took off. I took the reins and kept Appa close to the treeline, because I didn't want to be spotted by the Tank Train. Moreover, if Appa fell asleep again, we would not fall from a great height. It was difficult to see the ground clearly, but Toph was on foot - she couldn't have gone that far.

The sun was low in the sky when we saw something, but it wasn't Toph, it was two of the girls riding Mongoose-dragons! They had somehow found us. Aang's plan hadn't worked. Appa crash-landed across on the banks of a wide river, but to our horror those lizard things followed- actually _running_ across the water, their wide, splayed feet and their speed keeping them from sinking. I aimed at the girl with the long plait, wanting to put her out of action first, but she's an excellent acrobat and she dodged everything I threw at her. In the meantime, the knife-throwing girl, Tom Tom's sister, was launching missiles. My reactions were too slow to stop her too, but thankfully, Sokka did.

Unfortunately, the acrobat girl then turned her attention on Sokka. I thought, being a non-bender, he'd have an advantage, but it seems her powers work on non-benders too, for Sokka became paralysed when she hit him with her quick punches and he lost the use of his arms. Momentarily distracted by this, when Tom Tom's sister shot some stilettos at me I didn't react fast enough. The knives penetrated my wrist bands and pinned my arms to a tree.

'I thought when Ty Lee and I finally caught you guys it would be more exciting,' Tom Tom's sister drawled, as the other girl, Ty Lee, came up. 'Oh well, victory is boring.'

Suddenly, however, a blast of air blew them both head over heels straight into the river screaming. Appa had woken up and with one sweep of his tail showed them exactly how _boring_ chasing us can be! I ran to hug him as soon as I freed myself from the tree. Appa responded with a low rumble, smelling clean and fresh.

'Thank you, Appa!' I murmured 'but now we need to get out of here. We need to find Aang, you understand that, don't you?'

A wet lick was my answer. Sokka, who had got some feeling back in his right arm and had pushed himself to a sitting position, agreed.

'If those two were after us, that means the crazy blue-flame thrower must be after Aang!' he said.

'He should be back by now.'

Sokka looked at the orange sky above us. 'Let's go look for Aang. We can follow his trail. He might need our help. We'll look for Toph later.'

It took a few minutes to get my brother onto Appa, for his muscles were still weak, but as soon as he was safely in his saddle, we took off. Appa was flying much better now. Perhaps because he knew it was his master we were looking for, or perhaps because, at a certain point, you get past your tiredness and the sheer rush of action keeps you going way beyond what you think your body is capable of doing, and it was the same for Appa.

The forest below us soon changed to meadows and grass-topped hills, and then the faint windswept trail of fur below us turned towards dry, desert-like plains. Barely visible in the distance, in a shallow depression of rock, was a village of sorts.

It was only when we got close enough that we saw that the dirt-tracks leading to and from the village were rock-strewn and broken. It was an abandoned town. But blue and red fire flashes were arching upwards from the dilapidated buildings, and I knew exactly who they were aimed for!

We urged Appa onwards, landing at the gates of the village to the noise of battle within – crashes and bangs and the sound of falling masonry. And the fire flashes were too close to be coming from only _one_ firebender! Who else was after Aang?! My heart in my mouth, I was off Appa almost before he had landed and ran towards one of the building at the far end of the village, where the sounds of battle had come from, leaving Sokka to follow more slowly on still-wobbly legs.

A raggedly-dressed figure lay sprawled in the middle of the street, unconscious: Zuko!

Before my slow brain even had time to react to that fact, I saw Aang plunging downwards through the roof of the house, amidst falling masonry and building debris as the Fire Nation girl made her way inside.

I raced past the unconscious Zuko towards the house the girl had disappeared into. I was now functioning solely on the sheer rush of battle – it gave me a kind of desperate strength and pushed me beyond what I would normally be capable of with this amount of sleep deprivation. What I saw inside the broken building brought this strength into a cold focus: Aang had been trapped by the falling masonry, fire was encircling the room, and the Fire-bending girl was moving in for the kill.

The Water whip I used on her was the sharpest lash I could summon. I used another to break Aang free from the wooden beam trapping him, but that was all I had time for, because the FireBender turned her attention to me, instead.

Thankfully, Sokka had arrived and swung his boomerang at her, narrowly missing her. Aang joined us and soon the firebending girl was facing the three of us. We outnumbered her, and though we were tired, I think at that point all three of us had had enough of being chased. I could see a calculating look pass fleetingly across her face as she took a step backwards. This close, I could see she hardly looked any older than me, but apart from being a fire-bending prodigy, this girl had something that set her apart from everyone else. It was not only her haughty expression or her cool fearlessness, but there was a confidence in her bearing that bordered on the brazen. And, like I had noticed in Omashu, her features seemed vaguely familiar.

Though outnumbered, she attacked even while retreating backwards, the blue lightning flashing past us in deadly accuracy. We barely got out of the way in time. It was unlike the searing heat of a near-miss from a firebender's usual fire blast, but I knew that the effects of the blue lightning would be even more deadly. I looked desperately for an opportunity to immobilise her before she fried one of us.

Suddenly, she inexplicably lost her footing and fell over.

'I thought you guys could use a little help,' said a voice from behind her.

It was Toph! She had come back!

I felt so relieved. For many reasons.

'Thanks,' I smiled.

I knew she could not see my smile, but I think she heard the sincerity in my voice.

The firebender turned and ran down an alley behind her, but when we raced to catch up with her we found she had been stopped by none other than Iroh, Zuko's Uncle. He looked pretty ragged himself, as well as angry at the Firebending girl. Zuko was behind him, looking very gaunt now that I was seeing him properly. My tired brain slowly came up with the explanation: they were both fugitives - we had seen their 'Wanted' posters, but what were they doing _here_? Was Zuko still after Aang? Probably. He could have followed Appa's furry trail here, or the girl's lizard. But what took me by surprise was Zuko's bitter expression – and he wasn't looking at Aang – _he was looking at the firebending girl!_

Suddenly I realised why the girl's face was so familiar to me – she and Zuko had the same lean face, the same disdainful downward curve to their lips, the same sharp features and distinctive tawny-gold eyes...they were related, I was sure of it!

If they were, however, there was no love lost between them. They glared at each other and I realised we were all – Zuko and Iroh included - surrounding the Firebending girl with fighting stances!

It was a surreal moment. It felt as though time stood still.

Then the girl's perfectly-painted, red lips curved into a sneering smile:

'Well, look at this,' she said 'Enemies and traitors all working together. I'm done. I know when I'm beaten. You got me. A Princess surrenders with honor.'

She raised her arms in a gesture of surrender, which I didn't trust. I was wondering why Iroh kept looking at Toph, and still slowly processing the fact that she had called herself 'Princess' (and must therefore be Zuko's _sister)_ when she suddenly unleashed a bolt of blue lightning at us. Tense as a loaded spring, I unleashed an attack and so did everyone else, simultaneously. There was a huge explosion and I heard Zuko yell before being enveloped in smoke and flying debris.

When it cleared, the Fire Nation girl was nowhere to be seen, but a sound of despair made me look round. Zuko, his head in his hands, was kneeling by his Uncle, who had been hit by the blue lightening. I ran up quickly, my instincts honed to respond immediately to the urgency of the wounded in battle. But there was something else too – I had never seen Zuko look so distraught! Well, I hadn't seen him since we left the North Pole, but I had always kinda assumed he's incapable of feeling anything but the anger and aggression that came with his single-minded purpose of regaining his honor.

I suppose it was a bit simplistic of me to think so – Iroh was this guy's _uncle,_ after all! And apparently, Zuko cares about his uncle more than he does his sister!

We crowded around the fallen man and his nephew. For some reason, none of us were remotely glad this had happened to Iroh, even knowing who he is. Perhaps it was because for a second there we had fought on one side, against a common enemy, perhaps because, unlike his nephew, Iroh always struck us as someone gentler and wiser. I had seen this aspect of him, especially in the Spirit Oasis at the North Pole. He didn't deserve this!

Zuko, however, did not trust us.

'Get away from us!' he shouted over his shoulder.

I could see Iroh's chest rise and fall in laboured breathing. He was still alive, but that direct hit must have caused plenty of damage – a lot more than a simple burn from a fire blast. I had healed plenty of the latter.

The healer in me wanted to do something. Of all our enemies, Iroh seemed to me one that I could ...well, not _trust_, exactly... but perhaps someone I considered not so hostile. But I think it was also the unexpected sign of Zuko's affection for his Uncle that made me hold out my hand towards him in a reconciliatory gesture.

**'**Zuko, I can help!' I said.

But Zuko turned suddenly, a terrified fury twisting his scarred features, and unleashed an arching gout of flame over our heads in warning.

'Leave!' he shouted, despair and remorse coloring the anger in his voice.

I saw he was in no mood to reason with. Aang and I exchanged a silent look, then we left him there and headed for the gates, beyond which we could see Appa.

'So that's Zuko?' Toph asked.

'Yeah. It was Zuko,' Aang answered a trifle sadly, 'Come on, buddy, wake up. We need to go. This is the last time I ask you, I promise.'

Appa, who had been sleeping outside the gates, got up to his six feet, rumbling protestingly.

'And who was the other one?' Toph continued as she climbed up.

'My guess is that she's his sister,' I said, 'She called herself a 'Princess'. Did you see the resemblance?'

'Actually – no. But that's not who I meant –' Toph started, but Sokka interrupted her:

'If that's Zuko's sister, that's one messed-up royal family!'

'Fire Lord Ozai has two kids,' Toph explained, as she wound her arms tightly round the saddle, 'Azula and Zuko. Yesterday, when you described there's an angry freak chasing you, you didn't tell me it was Zuko, _the banished Prince_!'

'Seems to me we have _two_ angry freaks chasin' us now,' Sokka's eyes were already half-closed, and his head drooping.

'Zuko seemed to dislike his sister even more than me,' Aang remarked from his place on Appa's head 'I got the impression families were s'posed to stick together. Look at you and Sokka!'

Sokka had fallen asleep, or he would have vehemently denied I was anything but a headache for him! Aang had never known a _real_ family. But 'real' families also have real problems too. Apparently, the Royal family did. Even mine, to a lesser extent.

And Toph's.

We turned of one accord to look at her. She was silent, but she had that closed, bitter look on her face again. Perhaps it's not so evident, for someone who's blind, how sometimes a face can be read like a book. And I knew what she was thinking. So did Aang.

'Thanks for coming back, Toph,' Aang said, 'And I wanna apologise for yelling at you, earlier. You were right about Appa.'

'So were you. Appa does a lot – though I still prefer solid ground beneath my feet,' she clung on tighter to the saddle as Appa lurched sideways 'Anyway... I came back because I thought you might need me.'

'You helped us out when we most needed it,' I said warmly 'And that's what really matters.'

Helping us when it really mattered was more important than setting up camp. I could see that now.

'Hey, Toph – you may have left your old family, but you have us now, right?' Aang said brightly 'Your new family!'

Toph didn't answer him, but snuggled down deeper into the saddle, her hands still clutching the rim and pretended to sleep. However, we could see a small, contented smile beneath the tousled hair that half-covered her face. Aang and I exchanged amused glances. I think Toph will settle in all right now.

She is there for us, as much as we are for her.

I forced myself to stay awake and keep Aang company as he guided a tired Appa one last time towards the high hills. The rest is a bit fuzzy, because after the rush of battle, we all felt doubly tired. Eventually, we set Appa down on a high rocky plateau and fell asleep right there in the saddle.

Appa must have moved and thrown us off during the night, but no-one woke up. Even as I'm writing this in the bright glare of the midday sun, Sokka's still snoring happily and Toph is spread-eagled near him, her chest rising and falling gently.

I'd better start setting up camp and getting our lunch started. There's no need to wake up Toph.


	34. Chapter 34

**172 nd day of our journey. Today, the Avatar has started earthbending training. **

**Yesterday, we travelled along the borders of the arid zone that precedes the great Si Wong desert, and set up camp in an abandoned quarry close to a rocky gorge through which a small stream passes. It is an ideal place for learning eartbending, given that it is a desolate and rocky area. However, we are not that far off from woodland and forested areas where Sokka will still be able to hunt and provide us with food. **

**The Avatar found that earthbending did not come so easily to him as Waterbending had, but by the end of the day, he had moved his first rock and his morale, as well as that of the rest of the party, is very high.**

_Sifu Toph_, Aang called her early this morning when she woke up. He was brimming over with enthusiasm for his first lesson.

He even bowed to her.

'Hey... you never call _me_ Sifu Katara,' I said, disgruntled.

I was still in my sleeping bag, having been woken up by the explosive sounds of Toph earthbending her rock tent to pieces.

_'_Well, if you think I should...' Aang said, scratching his head nervously.

But he was interrupted by an irate Sokka, who objected to being woken up so early. Toph retaliated by eartbending him, sleeping bag and all, several feet in the air. He muttered something very rude, and hopped away in his sleeping bag.

I, however, was very curious to see how Aang would fare in his first lesson. I got up, rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and gave him a reassuring smile. He doesn't have to call _me_ Sifu Katara - Aang and I are too close for any formal titles.

Besides, I think Aang was being extra respectful to Toph, to make up for when he had yelled at her - he didn't want to lose his earthbending teacher again.

I was also curious to see if Toph's a good teacher. As yet, Aang's previous encounters with Bending Masters had not gone too well: he had some trouble learning from both Pakku and Jeong Jeong. With me, it was very different, and I had always found teaching Aang a rewarding experience.

Too rewarding perhaps, as I had found out in the Kolau Mountain range...

So perhaps, earlier this morning I was eager to see if Toph would be better than me. I confess I would've felt a bit jealous if she was, but I tried not to dwell too much on such selfish and unworthy thoughts: with only months remaining till Sozin's Comet, I sincerely wanted Toph Bei Fong to be a brilliant teacher: Aang needed all the help he could get.

Toph's first lesson was on earthbending stances – they're very different from waterbending stances – unyielding and steady, like a rock. And the movements, unlike the fluidity of waterbending, were short, sharp and strong. After a couple of tries, Aang mastered the stances, but when it came to the actual earthbending task of moving a rock... the rock defeated him.

Perhaps Toph was right when she said he was thinking like an airbender, and that earth is a stubborn element that has to be faced head-on, but I could see that Aang's enthusiasm for earthbending was diminishing a bit. Toph had a habit of punctuating her words with rough punches to add emphasis. Aang winced every time she hit him, but did not say anything. An earthbender's punch is unlike any other -even Pakku didn't resort to such direct harshness.

I went up to speak to her in private. 'I've been training Aang for a while now,' I told her 'He really responds well to a positive teaching experience. Lots of encouragement and praise. Kind words. If he's doing something wrong, maybe a gentle nudge in the right direction.'

'Thanks, Katara. A gentle nudge. I'll try that.'

She did. But I think her interpretation of 'gentle nudge' is completely different from mine and 'positive teaching experience' means lots of yelling. She abandoned the idea of moving a rock, instead, she made Aang take off his shoes and, barefooted, she put him through a punishing grill of lifting and carrying heavy boulders – earthbending without the bending! The boulders must have been several times Aang's own weight, yet lift them he did!

I clapped my hands, amazed – at Aang's strength, not at his yet non-existent earthbending, but perhaps I shouldn't have, for next instant Toph took the training to another level.

'Let's see if you hear the earth moving,' she said 'use your feet.'

And next instance she caused peaks of rock to jut out of the ground just beneath Aang's feet. Being an airbender, his balance was excellent, so for a while he kept his feet but with a one-ton boulder on his back, he soon went crashing down, boulder and all.

'You've got to feel the vibrations, Twinkletoes!' Toph shouted 'That's why you're barefoot! They'll tell you which part of the ground is moving even before it reaches you. _Then_ you can avoid it!'

'Toph, he's holding a boulder on his shoulders!' I interjected, heatedly 'Even _you_ couldn't lift it up without bending it!'

'That's why it _is_ on his shoulders,' Toph retorted, coolly.

And so it went on. I tried not to interfere, for I've been through some pretty tough training sessions myself with Master Pakku, and I know a Master will not tolerate any interference with his teaching methods. (And I had also resolved, like Aang, to do my best not to argue with Toph again) But I remembered how bad Aang had fared under Pakku's sharp tongue at the North Pole. The Waterbending Master's derisive comments and sharp tongue when anyone made a mistake usually spurred me and the other students to a better performance, but with Aang it didn't work that way. I know there had been another reason for his reluctance in learning waterbending at the North Pole, and that was because of me and my stupid competitiveness. He hadn't wanted it to come between us again. But now, seeing Toph's attitude, I was afraid that Aang would slip into the bad old habits again and either start fooling around again or else completely lose interest. That's why I tried to give her a hint of how to get the best out of Aang.

I looked over to where Aang and Toph were punching sand or rock half-way up the wall of the quarry. When they came down, Aang was holding his hands under his arms, grimacing in pain. My apprehension grew – not only because Aang seemed to be getting increasingly bruised and battered with this training, but also because his enthusiasm of this morning had been replaced by defeated look.

However, he didn't want me to heal his inflamed hands and went on to Toph's next task without another word.

Testing his stance, Toph earthbended herself out of sight beneath the ground and proceeded to leap at him unexpectedly from below, aiming to see if he could feel the vibrations of the earth moving beneath his feet. I don't think Aang actually managed to feel anything at all. Beads of sweat covered his face – I had never seen Aang sweat before – today was a first – and when the anticipated attack came, his supposedly rock-like stance was never ready for her, which earned him another shove or a punch.

I could see that his spirits were plummeting further as the day wore on. He never gave up however, and finally, there was a small breakthrough when Toph blindfolded him for the next task.

'This way, you'll listen better,' she said handing him Sokka's club.

Aang's face beneath the blindfold looked wary and uncertain, and at first, he swung wildly with the club at the earth columns Toph earthbended at him, missing every single one, but finally, he seemed to 'see' them and successfully broke several in a row.

Toph nodded and immediately moved on to something else.

'I will run towards you and all you have to do is try to stop me' she told Aang.

It seemed simple enough, but then I saw his face fall as she earthbended a series of small rocks about her so that she became encased in rock armour, leaving just a bit of her face visible. We had never seen her do that before – not even in the Earth Rumble! Toph was considerably shorter than Aang, but now she towered at least a foot taller, and was broader too, in her earth armor. Next instant, she launched herself at him, moving with the speed and sound of a small avalanche.

She almost ran him over of course, and though Aang tried to stop her she pushed him inexorably backwards for several yards. But then he fought back. Digging his heels into the ground, he managed to bring her to a grinding halt. Then, straining mightily, sweat pouring down his face, he pushed her back, inch by determined inch, all along the narrow trench she had earthbended for that reason.

I stood up to see better, restraining myself from punching the air in victory ( I'm sure she can sense that). Aang was _winning_!

Not that I could quite see the _point_ of many of these training forms: to me they seemed to focus on building strength, rather than bending, and the next exercise seemed to confirm it: She had Aang throw a large stone with a rough hole for handle, with one hand and to catch it with the other. All this while straddling two 20-foot columns of rock!

It seemed very similar to the weight-lifting my brother did when he wanted to build some muscle or 'upper-body strength', as he called it. I know all about it because there was a time when Sokka used to talk about nothing else (he still does, sometimes), and I was even treated to some muscle-rippling exhibitions when my brother wanted to emulate the older warriors.

I couldn't help smiling in amusement, and, I must admit, a little bit of admiration too. Aang never missed once, and the large rock seemed as light as a snowball as he threw it from one hand to the other. When Toph caused the columns he was standing on to break and shift downwards, he did not lose his balance, but remained rock-like at their summit. I knew, then, that the purpose had been to test Aang's stance, rather than build muscle.

Toph seemed satisfied.

'Short break,' she said, 'I need to prepare your next task – we'll be trying something new!'

'You're doing great, Aang,' I said encouragingly as Toph left.

He jumped lightly down from the columns and threw the stone away.

'Yeah, well...I dunno.'

'You seem to have got the right stance now, and I can tell you can feel the earth moving before actually seeing it. That's a huge breakthrough!'

'I guess. But I haven't earthbended anything yet, have I?' Aang sounded discouraged.

'Look, Aang, the earthbending stances are so different from waterbending stances – I thought it was merely about strength, but I can see that there's more to it, and Toph managed to teach you that, so you should listen to-'

'Pupil Aaaaaang!' Toph's shout reached us from further down the rocky gorge.

We walked up to where she stood in the middle of flat ground at the bottom of the gorge.

'This time we're going to try something a little different, she said 'Instead of moving a rock, you're going to stop a rock. Get in your horse stance!'

Aang obliged, a determined look on his face, but then Toph explained what she meant: 'I'm going to roll that boulder down at you', she said pointing to distant boulder perched high on the edge of the cliff that lined the gorge.

A trench-like path from the boulder angled down the cliff face straight at us. A tremor of fear passed through me. Could she really mean what I thought she did?

She did.

'If you have the attitude of an earthbender,' she told Aang, 'you'll stay in your stance and stop the rock.'

Aang looked as scared as I felt while Toph demonstrated how. If that thing hit him with _that_ momentum, he'd be dead! This was going a bit too far – after all, it was still his first day of training!

I walked up to her, keeping my voice as reasonable as I could. 'Sorry, Toph, but are you sure this is really the best way to teach Aang earthbending?'

'I'm glad you said something,' was her unexpected reply, 'Actually, there is a better way –' She pulled off Aang's belt and blindfolded him with it 'This way he'll really have to sense the vibrations of the boulder to stop it. Thank you, Katara!'

'Yeah, thanks Katara!' Aang's voice was grimly sarcastic.

I backed off with an apologetic smile he could not see. _Shoot!_ I should've known Toph would take it like this! I shouldn't have interfered – these are _her_ lessons to teach, not mine. Still, my heart was in my mouth as I watched Toph climb to the top of the gorge and take her place behind the boulder. Aang had only just mastered feeling the vibrations of moving earth – what if he didn't 'see' the boulder accurately? Why couldn't she have started with a pebble, instead of a deadly quasi-avalanche?!

Momo, who was perched on my head, chittered nervously, and I barely resisted the urge to cover my face with my hands as Toph gave the boulder a shove.

Aang seemed such a small figure, dwarfed by the sheer cliffs of the canyon walls – how could he stop that huge boulder? His stance was rock-solid, but in comparison to the crushing speed and magnitude of the boulder, he seemed exceedingly fragile. This was just his _first day_! Fleetingly, I realised that I had been wrong in thinking earthbending a somehow less dangerous form than Firebending.

Peeking over the hands clasped to my face, my heart in my throat, I saw the boulder rolling closer and closer, gathering speed and momentum... but at the last minute, just a second before it hit him, Aang airbended himself right over it so that it rumbled past to crash harmlessly into the canyon wall.

Well... at least, though blindfolded, he had 'seen' it.

I found I could breathe again, and sighed in relief, but Toph wasn't amused.

'I guess I just panicked,' Aang said in a subdued voice as he removed his blindfold to find Toph glaring at him 'I don't know what to say.'

'There's nothing to say!' she yelled 'You blew it. You had a perfect stance and perfect form but when it came right down to it you didn't have the _guts!_' Aang was knocked over by an emphatic punch.

'I know. I'm sorry'

But Toph was unforgivingly harsh with him_. '_Yeah, you are sorry. If you're not tough enough to stop the rock, then you could at least give it the pleasure of _smushing_ you instead of jumping out of the way like a jelly-boned wimp! Now, do you have what it takes to face that rock like an earthbender?!

Aang hung his head dejectedly. 'No. I don't think I do'.

It had gone far enough. Even Master Pakku would've known to call it quits when somebody was _this_ defeated. Especially on a pupil's first day: you can't expect too much from someone who's never earthbended before. I hurried over to diffuse the tension, for Toph seemed ready to keep on at him. At this rate, she'd completely crush his spirit before he had even started.

**'**Aang, it's no big deal,' I said, bending to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, for he hadn't even moved from the ground 'You'll take a break and try earthbending again when you're ready. Besides, you still have a lot of waterbending to work on, okay?'

'Yeah... that sounds good,' Aang replied, unenthusiastically.

A small watercourse meandered happily through the bottom of the gorge and, at its far end, furthest away from the old quarry, it trickled into a wide, shady pool. It was reed-choked and not very deep, but the water was cool and clear, and, confined only by the bare, rocky walls of the gorge, was therefore quite wide in the middle, and supported a surprising variety of small pond-life.

The pond was _my_ own reason why I had wanted to set camp here. Now that we had finally found Aang an Earth-bending teacher, I was cautiously eager to resume waterbending lessons. Aang still needed to fine-tune his skills. I knew they would probably have had to be put on hold had King Bumi been Aang's teacher in Omashu – certainly, there wouldn't have been the freedom of teaching Aang waterbending like we could now – standing in a middle of a natural pool. So, in a way, Toph being Aang's earthbending teacher is a blessing in disguise.

I headed towards this calm little haven blessed with my element, Aang walking silently by my side. I stole a look at him, and his dejected expression was enough to tell me how heavily this failure was weighing on him. Perhaps Toph was expecting too much out of him on his first day.

Perhaps we all were ...

But the thing is, Aang managed to bend the other elements so _easily_... He had even managed to _firebend_ with much less trouble – and that in spite of (or because of) Jeong Jeong's cautious attitude to fire's destructive nature. But bending styles are very different. Pakku had pointed out some of the differences to me back at the North Pole. Aang hadn't been paying attention then, but Pakku had also said that some elements have a natural affinity...

As we arrived at the pool, Aang still hadn't said a word. I've come to realise, as I got to know him better over the past months, that Aang tends to keep problems to himself, sometimes. He's eager and open enough when it comes to sharing his joy and high spirits with everyone else, but when it comes to sharing his troubles, it's another matter. It takes time for him to open up about them, if he does at all. But now I feel I know him well enough to try and gently draw out his fears ...

'The water's lovely,' I said, stripping down to my Sarashi and stepping into the cool water.

Aang didn't answer. I looked over to where he was struggling out of his shirt rather clumsily. His hands were swollen, bruised and red-raw after punching rock for so long with Toph, and he hadn't let me heal them. Now inflammation was setting in.

I sat down by the edge of the pond near the reeds. Bending over I cupped some water in my hands and watched it glow bright with healing energy.

'Please Aang, let me do it.'

His eyes flickered to the glowing water. 'Toph doesn't need it. A true earthbender has tough, strong hands. _I_ shouldn't need it!'

I laughed.

'What?' he scowled.

'Let a girl be the judge of another girl's hands, Aang! Toph's hands are just as smooth and unblemished as mine. And I know because I observed her closely in Gaoling, hoping to pick up some high-class table manners! That was only a few days ago- the only difference since then is that now her hands are dirty, and her fingernails are atrociously filthy,' I smiled up at him 'Now, come here and let me heal those hands!'

Aang relented with a sigh and crouched down among the reeds.

'So, how does she do it?' he wondered, holding out his hands 'She was pounding that rock like it was _water_. I couldn't even scratch the surface, though it felt like I broke all my fingers.'

And no doubt he had determinedly tried to do the same, in spite of the pain. The knuckles of his hands were all bruised and bloodied, sand and earth ingrained in the abrasions. I enveloped them in the soothing cool water, cleansing them and healing them at the same time.

'She's _bending_ the rock, Aang, that's how she's doing it!'

Aang said nothing, but I could sense his disappointment and frustration at my words. I quietly moved my hands one last time over his, only the glowing water separating our hands.

There's a lot one can learn from observing hands – they are an important part of us, visibly carrying out our commands; expressive, as well as useful...they can lend emphasis to our words; they can go from gently touching and holding that which we hold dear, or else, to the opposite extreme of clenching into angry fists. Sometimes, there are little stories written on them. I like to keep my hands as soft and supple as our rough living permits, since they are a key to my skill both as a bender and healer; Toph's perfectly manicured hands in Gaoling have disappeared, bearing witness now to a different and freer lifestyle; my brother's hands are tough, full of small scars, mostly self-inflicted during warrior training or hunting or fishing accidents; and Aang's hands... Aang's hands are not exactly what I would have expected from an Airbender... certainly, they are rather long and lean, with no sign of weapon-scars, but other than that – they have the typical, no-nonsense, square-tipped fingers of any young guy, and more tellingly, on the palms and fingers are calluses that come from many long hours of holding Appa's reins tightly. I was careful not to heal these – he'd need whatever toughness he could get to survive Toph's gruelling rock-pounding regime. Probably, unless he gets the hang of earthbending soon, his hands will be just as rough and harsh as he seems to think they should be.

I finished, and looked up to see him observing his hands morosely. Getting up, I waded to the middle of the pool, beckoning him in. Wordlessly, he followed and I started our waterbending exercises with the usual warm-up routine, sticking to simple moves with a small quantity of water. (Sometimes, waterbending can unconsciously reflect a bender's mood and with Aang so frustrated, I didn't know what he would come up with.)

I gently bent a small ball of water between us varying the distance at which I relinquished my influence over the water. Aang caught it neatly each time, never once missing, but I could see his heart wasn't in it, and he looked preoccupied.

However, after a while, the water worked its magic and under its calming effect, he lost the frustrated look of earlier, though his expression remained closed and dejected. I sighed: I was hoping Aang would say something, but evidently, that wasn't going to happen. It was up to me now, for I hated seeing him like this.

'You know this block you're having is only temporary, right?' I said, going straight to the point.

'I don't wanna talk about it.'

That took me aback. I thought he knew he could trust me – I wasn't going to blame him or anything. I'm not Toph! I decided to persist, for this was only the first day, and I had a feeling that Toph's attitude had a lot to do with it. Like Master Pakku, her abrasive nature was getting to him just as much as his lack of bending. Much as I loved these waterbending sessions with Aang, avoiding his teacher wasn't the answer.

**'**You do know that's the problem, don't you?' I persisted 'If you face this issue instead of avoiding it...'

' I know, I know, I know, I know. I get it, alright!?' he said cutting across me frustratedly. The water between us fell with soft splash back in the pond. 'I need to face it head-on, like a rock. But I just can't do it! I don't know why I can't, but I can't'.

Striking the water in frustration, he turned away, scowling at his own reflection. But I had a glimmering as to what _part_ of the problem was.

_'_Aang, if fire and water are opposites, then what's the opposite of air?'

'I guess it's earth.'

'That's why it's so hard for you to get this. You're working with your natural opposite. But you'll figure it out. I know you will.'

I watched his reflected expression in the water changed from frustration to a dawning comprehension. I knew he he'd get there in the end. I also knew he needed to see exactly how _good_ he was. Reaching behind my back, I snapped a long reed and hurled it suddenly at him, shouting: 'Think fast!'

He did. Aang has lightning-quick reactions, unmatched by any of us. Raising a wave of water with a sharp frozen edge, he sliced the reed in two, so that its halves sailed harmlessly by his head. I looked at him proudly and I think he knew what I was trying to show him: he had already achieved the unachievable in such a short time.

'Excellent,' I said, smiling, 'You have the reflexes of a waterbending master.'

He looked at me in silence for a second then his face softened into a smile.

'Thanks, Katara,' he said, then, to my surprise, he bowed, placing his hands in the formal gesture of a respectful salute.

'_Sifu_ Katara,' he added.

I felt a lump in my throat when I heard those words. Aang had given me what I had never asked for. He had quietly acknowledged that he respected and appreciated my teaching him waterbending.

Proud and happy at his gesture, I solemnly bowed back and returned his salute. He did not _need _to call me that, we both knew it – but it showed how he had recognised my unspoken wish to be appreciated as a Master Waterbender. With those two words he was thanking me for my support and encouragement as well as for all the work and hours I had spent training him.

Only it had never felt like work. It had been, ever since we came to the Earth Kingdom, the highlight of my day. More than that perhaps...

I raised my head, wondering if he ever thought back to those early days before Omashu, when waterbending had seemed like an intimate dance... We had progressed so much from those days. We were more professional now, more focussed and concentrated, sticking to defensive and offensive techniques and fine-tuning his fighting skills...

I followed Aang wistfully with my eyes as he headed to the edge of the pool and shrugged quickly back into his shirt.

Yes, we certainly had progressed a lot, and dancing with water was a thing of the past now...

I suppressed a sigh and followed Aang out of the pond.

'I think I'll tell Toph it's time to give it another go,' he told me, a determined look in his eyes.

I nodded my encouragement and watched him leave, my previous happiness shadowed by an indefinable air of regret.

Later on, I stood quietly nearby and watched Toph put Aang through another punishing series of rock-throwing and carrying. She did not suggest the 'sliding boulder' thing again, but her yelling increased. She seemed to be going out of her way to provoke him.

It was late afternoon when Toph called a halt. I went to prepare supper and Aang slunk off to meditate, looking angry now, rather than dejected.

But he hadn't earthbended a single pebble.

I expected to find Sokka busy preparing the campfire. The wooded areas beyond the quarry seemed like good hunting grounds, so I was surprised to find that he hadn't returned yet, for he'd left in the morning. However, I busied myself building a fire. Usually Sokka skinned or plucked whatever he hunted away from the campsite, dressing it and preparing it ready for cooking, for Aang hated to see the process. It made more sense that way too, and kept the mess, vermin and other potential predators away from camp, too.

I soon had the fire going, but when the sky turned a brilliant kaleidoscope of orange and red hues as the sun sank slowly behind the canyon walls, Sokka still hadn't appeared. We've always had an agreement that by nightfall, all of us should return to camp.

I started getting worried.

Aang was still meditating when I went up to him. I know that he doesn't like to be disturbed when meditating, and today he was in an uncharacteristically bad mood, for Toph had driven him to the limit, but when I told him Sokka hadn't come back he jumped up immediately.

'We'll find him faster if we split up' he said running off towards the steep sides of the gorge.

I hurried off in the opposite direction. Could Sokka have come across Fire Nation soldiers? In this South Eastern part of the Earth Kingdom, we hadn't seen too many signs of Fire Nation activity – barring Zuko, his sister and her friends, of course. These last were worse than a whole contingent of Fire Nation soldiers, given their deadly ambition of capturing Aang. But we had been careful not to let them follow us again. Appa's getting a twice-daily brush and rub-down now, so's not to leave any furry trail, and we're sticking close to the relatively uninhabited borders of the Si Wong Desert.

Suddenly images of Sokka facing those deadly girls formed in my mind and I pushed myself harder, really worried now. After their two-day chase, I kept getting the feeling they were still on our trail, somehow. Panting as I climbed up the rocky cliff, I caught sight of Toph. Her face was turned in my direction curiously, Aang's staff in her hand.

'Toph, Sokka hasn't come back! I'm going this way and Aang's taken the westwards route. If you happen to see my brother, I mean ... not _see_ him, of course, but feel him, or something...'

Toph gave a snort of laughter. 'I'll feel him for you, Katara...is he ticklish?'

'You know what I mean!' I scowled. This was no laughing matter.

'Relax! Perhaps Sokka's just taking his time. It's still warm: sun's not down yet, is it?'

'You don't know my brother: he never misses a meal. He should've been back now. Besides, the sun's going down and it'll be dark soon. We'll never find him then.'

Toph snorted in derision. 'You two should've joined Aang under the blindfold. I could teach you a thing or two about the _dark_!'

But I had reached the top of the jagged canyon wall and with a last wave at Toph (completely forgetting she couldn't see it) I hurried on. I had to find Sokka before nightfall. Toph had a point about 'seeing' in the dark, but I didn't have the keen senses she did, and neither did Sokka.

I searched all the wooded area beyond the eastern part of the gorge and then climbed down again, thinking that perhaps my brother had managed to reach it but got hurt or something along the way. I didn't find him. My only hope was that Aang had found him. He could probably fly over the woods with his glider and cover more area that way.

It was when I arrived back at camp that I realised Toph had been holding Aang's staff... Aang was on foot!

I glanced up at the sky anxiously: it was a lavender-blue with the orange remnants of sunset fading fast. Then something made me turn round and there, in the distance, I saw them: my brother was limping, and leaning heavily on Aang. Toph was following them. A flood of relief coursed through me and I ran to them and pulled Sokka into a hug – he looked dead tired - I could feel him shaky on his legs.

'I accidentally slipped into a fissure in the ground and got stuck,' Sokka explained, 'Aang found me and Toph pulled me out.'

'You had me really worried, Sokka!'

'Believe me – I had _me_ worried too' he replied 'Especially when I found out who Foo-foo cuddly-poops really was.'

'Foo- _who_?!'

'A baby sabre-toothed mooselion' Aang interjected with a huge grin. He had an air of suppressed excitement about him, that I was sure did not derive only from my brothers' rescue.

Sokka however, still looked a bit shaken. 'The whole time that I was in that hole, not knowing if I would live or die,' he started, with a solemn air, '... it makes a man think about what's really important. I realized...'

But Aang couldn't contain his excitement any longer, and I soon understood why:

'Hey, Katara, look what I can do!' he shouted, and with an earthbending move he caused a small hillock of rock to break in half.

'You did it! I knew you would' I cheered, ecstatic.

I was indeed, sure that he would do it in the end – I just did not expect it to be now. Whatever happened during Sokka's rescue must have done the trick. A small suspicion crossed my mind and I glanced at Toph. She had a satisfied grin on her face.

'You tried the positive reinforcement, didn't you?' I whispered.

'Yep. It worked wonders.'

I breathed a silent sigh of relief. It was a learning experience for both of them – I hope Toph continues to use it, but now that Aang has got over his block on earthbending, things are bound to go smoother for him.

He has now bended all four elements, and all he needs is more training and practise to refine his techniques. Of course, there's the problem that he never mentioned firebending again, ever since the day he accidentally hurt me. I want to speak to him about it as soon as he has mastered earthbending – he can't keep ignoring it forever. For now, however, I'll let him enjoy this moment.

Later on, as we settled down for the night, Sokka told me what happened. I made him lie down on his sleeping bag and massaged his legs with healing water, for he had been trapped in that hole for hours and the pressure had cut off the circulation to his legs.

'Aang recognised who Foo Foo cuddly-poops was right away,' Sokka explained, 'He said the cubs are difficult to recognise until giant teeth and horns grow in. I understood what he meant when Cuddlypoop's Mama came charging at me!'

'What?! How d'you get away? Did Toph come?'

'Uh … she had been there all along apparently, but she didn't do anything until the mooselion left.'

I listened with an open mouth as he explained how Aang had stood his ground against the mooselion, and how Toph had provoked him to the point when he stood up to her and then praised him for it.

Well, I guess that's _one_ way of using positive reinforcement….

Sokka flexed his legs.

'Pins and needles all gone now – thanks, Katara,' he said slipping inside his sleeping bag with a contented smile.

I remembered something.

'Sokka, when you came back you were saying that you realised something when you were stuck in that hole. It seemed important.'

'I did? Well, it couldn't have been important – I forgot what it was,' he said, with a shifty look that denoted exactly the opposite.

'You sure?'

'Of course. I'm not into that existential mumbo jumbo...better get some sleep now,' he replied evasively, curling up in his sleeping bag 'G'night!'

'Goodnight, Sokka.'

I distinctly got the impression that Sokka isn't completely immune to 'existential mumbo jumbo' as he calls it.

He's asleep now, and Toph's earthbended herself a tent. Aang is still too excited to sleep, so I suggested meditating. It seems to have worked. I'd better put this book away for tomorrow the Aang's training will intensify and after that we may be moving out of this canyon, for Toph said she will need a different terrain for a different form of earthbending.

A new part of the Avatar's journey has begun.


	35. Chapter 35

**173 rd day of our journey. The Avatar's earthbending training has increased in intensity and he spent all morning with Toph Bei Fong in the abandoned quarry, learning different earth bending techniques. Tomorrow, we set off to a different destination, for the Avatar's earthbending teacher is looking for different terrain.**

**Today's training went incredibly well, and Aang's euphoric that he has progressed so much after his difficult start with this element.**

Toph started the day with what she called warm-up exercises. Only they were not what Aang imagined.

Warm him up they did, however, for he was soon sweating under the heavy weight of the boulders Toph made him carry on his back. This time, he was better able to avoid the jagged rocks Toph earthbended beneath his feet because he could feel the vibrations, but still, it was hard going. This was followed by more rock-throwing and heaving and pulling of stones.

'I prefer our water-bending warm-up exercises better,' Aang whispered ruefully when Toph gave him a five-minute break.

'I heard that,' Toph called.

Her hearing is really keen.

Perhaps in answer to that remark, Toph made Aang carry even bigger rocks on his shoulders. Bent almost double, with sweat pouring down his face, Aang, however, had a perfect stance, and the look on his face was determined. He stood his ground as Toph went up to him. I think he was wondering, like I was, when she was going to let him _earthbend_ something, rather than all this heaving and lifting.

But that's what she did next.

'Now I want you to lift this stone off your shoulders,' she said 'like this!' She lifted her arms upwards in demonstration, 'Like it weighed nothing at all. I want you to hold it in that position for a few seconds and then earthbend it forward. Got it?'

'Uh... Okay.' Aang nodded, uncertainly.

'Ya gotta be quick, Twinkletoes,' she added 'Otherwise the stone'll just smush you! But moving quick shouldn't be a problem for an airbender, right?'

A determined look in his eyes, Aang did as Toph said, and the boulder hovered weightlessly above him for a second or two before it went crashing down on the far end of the canyon floor. Aang whooped his delight and was soon taken on to the next earthbending task.

All morning the old quarry reverberated with the sound of breaking rock and mini-landslides. I could see that Aang was doing very well and his confidence was increasing. Toph's occasional outburst of yelling at a mistake did not get to him as much as it did yesterday. I guess Aang is getting tougher in more ways than one, now. Anyway, more often than not, she's now nodding in silent approval at his feats, or indirectly praising him, as she had done yesterday.

'How did you learn all these earthbending moves, Toph – especially the training techniques? From Master Yu?' I asked her as we sat down to lunch.

'That gold-loving, slime-licking dunghead? Of course not! I learnt directly from an earthbending source! Master Yu taught me nothing but _breathing_ _exercises_! Most dangerous earthbending move he ever let me do was earthbend a pebble into a teacup!' Toph gave a snort of derision and stuffed her mouth with food.

'Know what, though?' she said in a muffled voice, waving her spoon at me 'Master Poophead actually _did_ teach me stuff – only he doesn't know it.'

'How come?' Aang asked, curiously.

He hadn't touched his food. It happens when he's on a high, such as now. Covered in a fine layer of dust and sweat not even his air-blast could dislodge, he listened eagerly. He was so euphoric at this morning's success that he was eager to continue training. Lunch was an unnecessary distraction.

'He used to read me stuff,' Toph answered, 'Same as the breathing techniques, he considered reading 'safe', so he used to spend hours reading earthbending scrolls to me! It was dead boring – but after a while, I kinda thought they could be useful! I tried them out when I was out alone!'

'Wasn't that dangerous, Toph?' I asked, remembering how Aang had struggled.

'Nah – earthbending came natural to me, I knew how to earthbend well years before they hired Master Yu!' Toph said through another mouthful 'But yeah – I did get smushed a few times… I always found an excuse to explain to my parents, though.'

'Ha! No wonder they kept you locked up!' Sokka interjected, with his usual fine tact.

Toph scowled at him. 'I said it only happened a couple of times!'

Sokka was right, however. I started to realise that perhaps Toph's 'mysterious' injuries could have compounded her parents' over-protectiveness.

It was late afternoon when she finally called a halt to Aang's practise.

'Tomorrow, I want to find us some trees,' she said.

'We could go to those woods to the Northeast of where those crazy girls chased us,' Sokka suggested, peeling off his shirt, 'Coming to the pool, Katara?'

I nodded, grabbed my small bag of soaps and followed him. Further on down the gorge, Sokka had found a spot where the pond was not so weed-choked and the water was deeper and clearer. Aang had already left at airbender speed, heading in that direction. And after two days in this bare, dusty quarry I really felt like my clothes needed a good wash. The ubiquitous quarry dust and some remnants of Appa's fur still clung to my garments.

Toph, who hadn't heard where we were going, followed us anyway, singing a song about some Badgermole. At the pool, we found out something else about the earthbending addition to our group – apparently, Toph couldn't swim!

Aang was already splashing around in the water when we arrived - like me, he probably couldn't wait to jump in the inviting, cool water. I busied myself getting my robe clean. It was some time before I realised that Toph hadn't come anywhere near the water, even though she was covered from head to toe in quarry dust.

'Why don't you join us?' I asked, unsure how to put it politely. 'The water's nice and refreshing and ..._clean_.'

My brother wasn't so tactful:

'Yeah, your clothes could use a good washing, and, quite frankly, you're getting quite rank,' he said.

'My clothes are not dirty. This is a protective layer of dirt. It's an earthbender thing,' she said 'I don't expect _you_ to understand.'

But Sokka's insults didn't bother her. 'Earthbender thing' my foot – my brother was right – she needed a wash. I thought it time for a more direct approach and tried to drag her to the water, offering to wash her hair, but I crashed right into a rock she earthbended to stop me.

That did it! My face throbbing where I had run into the rock, I could feel my temper rising and, forgetting all my earlier resolutions, I waterbended a huge wave of water towards her.

'If you won't come to the water than perhaps I should bring the water to you!'

I swept her, yelling loudly, all the way to the pool: that'll teach her I'm not to be messed with!

What happened next took me completely by surprise, however – Toph started flailing around and screaming for help, saying she couldn't swim. I would've been worried, only she was splashing about in about a foot of water. Aang and Sokka stared at her in surprise, unsure what to make of it.

But I could see she wasn't faking it – she was panicking!

I waterbended the whole section of pond-water away from her, leaving her threshing wildly on the silty, muddy bottom of the pool. Sokka and Aang were soon covered in mud, and I got liberally smeared too, when I went over to help. I held the water away and Sokka and Aang lifted her to her feet. She calmed down a bit when she found she could stand, and we all squelched muddily back to the edge of the pool. It's amazing how far Toph had managed to fling the mud – my clean clothes, which I had left to dry by the edge of the pool, were in a even worse state than before and Aang and Sokka looked like mud monsters!

'Toldja I didn't want a bath!' Toph scowled beneath the caked mud dripping from her hair.

Aang just grinned and followed a disgruntled Sokka back to the pool to wash off.

'Toph, I can't believe you're afraid of taking a bath!' I said, looking exasperatedly at her 'In Gaoling, you were perfectly groomed and you smelled like flowers...'

'That's all I ever did in back home – massages, shampoos, manicures, pedicures and baths – _sponge _baths, that is. I hated all of it!'

'Well, we could find a sponge, if that's what you prefer. You can't stay like that!'

'Oh yes, I can – it'll dry off! And I was given sponge baths because being in water was considered too dangerous for a blind girl. I don't like baths, anyway...'

I saw her turn towards the pool and the sounds of splashing. Sokka and Aang had swum to the deeper parts away from the disturbed silt of the shallow end which we had disturbed. Sokka was trying to duck Aang, and the sounds of their loud laughter echoed off the cliff face.

So Toph Bei Fong, Earthbending Master, didn't know how to swim.

I started wondering whether it was only her parents' over-protectiveness that was at the bottom of this. I suspected it wasn't. Her parents had never stopped her from secretly doing whatever she wanted before, but apparently swimming wasn't one of them. I was thinking that it was more a fear of the vulnerable position she was in when submerged that made her fear water: vibrations in water are completely different from those on land – Toph really _is_ blind when she's in water!

'You know, Sokka and I we learnt to swim quite young, back at the South Pole,' I started, going to the water's edge and soaking my clothes again, 'but we never liked it much.'

'But you're a waterbender!' Toph, who was standing in a puddle of mud, turned to me looking surprised.

'And the water's freezing cold, back home, even in the middle of summer,' I explained 'It wasn't fun at all, but surrounded as we were by water, us kids had to learn as part of survival training.'

'Did any of you survive the survival training?' Toph asked, sarcastically.

'Yep, what's more - I'm glad we learnt how to swim, because the warm spring sunshine in this southern part of the Earth Kingdom, has made all the difference to our swimming experience, and Sokka and I have taken to swimming like a turtle-duck to water!'

'You both come from a waterbending tribe – it's in your blood!'

'I could teach you to swim, Toph – you'll like it.' I said, hopefully.

'Nah, forget it! I don't have to.'

Toph tried to earth bend the mud off her, but her clothes were so waterlogged she wasn't having too much success.

I carefully waterbended a high spout of water and let its top come off in a gentle raindrops over Toph.

'Look - whatdya know - it's started to rain,' I lied 'You can clean up that way. You're not scared of rain, are you?'

'No.' Toph scowled, the mud streaming in dark rivulets from her hair down her face in the soft shower of 'rain'. 'I really don't see why all the fuss about a bit of mud, Katara. Besides, I know you're doing it, even though you're standing in the water.'

'Oh... really?'

'I can feel the sun's still warm. There are no rain-clouds.'

I had forgotten about that.

But I didn't stop waterbending – at least it would get the mud and dust off her. Under the circumstances, it was the best I could do. I tried to persuade her again:

'Look Toph, I'm a water bender – if I teach you to swim, you can rest assured I won't let you drown.'

'Nothing doing. Bad enough I have to fly on Appa - I'm the kind of girl who likes her feet firmly planted on the ground.' Toph shook herself like Appa does when he's wet, and stepped out of the 'rain shower' reasonably clean.

I let the water spout fall back in the pond.

'You know, Toph, not knowing how to swim makes you doubly vulnerable in water.'

She frowned but seemed to consider what I was saying.

'Yeah, okay ...maybe one day I'll let you teach me...maybe. But not today.'

'I'll hold you to your word, Toph'

'I haven't _given_ you my word. But hey – I'll let you wash my hair instead...'

I grinned. She spoke as though she were granting me some long-held desire.

'Come and lie down on this rock above the water, I've got some soap and some perfumed oil left over from the Foggy Swamp people...'

Tonight, everyone is turning in early, for tomorrow we'll be leaving this place. Aang is in extremely high spirits given his successful earthbending today. Sokka, too, seems to have recovered completely from his ordeal of yesterday, and Toph – well, Toph has beautiful shiny clean hair, but the rest of her is still covered with a less visible but still present 'protective layer of earth'.

**174 th day of our journey; Today we have travelled in a North-easterly direction, going deeper into the wooded areas on the fringes of the Si Wong desert. Toph Bei Fong explained the different landscape is necessary for the next part of the Avatar's earthbending lessons, which involve **_**listening**_** to the earth.**

Last night was terrible. We hardly slept at all – and this time it wasn't because we were chased by some scary, crazy girls: this time, it was Aang who kept us awake!

We were woken up in the middle of the night by the crashing sound of earthbending. Disoriented, for a moment I thought Toph had continued her lessons through the night, but she was in her rock tent, sitting up dazedly. Next, a howling wind almost knocked me over.

We soon realised Aang was bending in his sleep. We tried to wake him up, but things went a bit out-of-control and Aang's sleepbending caused a small landslide nearby.

He woke up by himself when a tiny pebble fell onto him and sat up to find us all glaring at him.

'You won't believe the awesome dream I had!' he said, grinning.

'I bet,' Toph said, acerbically.

'What?' he asked, looking at each of our disgruntled faces in surprise.

'I think you might have been a tiny bit over-excited yesterday,' I explained.

'Euphoric, more like' Sokka grumbled 'You were sleep-bending.'

'Oh,' Aang noticed the chaos his wild sleep-bending had made of our camp. 'I was in a rodeo,' he explained sheepishly, 'riding a fish-opotomus. Sorry.'

Well, I suppose I should be glad Aang's dreams were happy ones this time, and not nightmares like he used to suffer from, but it took us a whole hour to gather the stuff he had air- or earth-bended away.

Given it was only a couple of hours till dawn we decided we might as well pack our stuff and leave. Aang (probably to make up for waking us up in the night ) told us to take a nap in the saddle and that he'd wake us up when we arrived over the woods.

I must have dozed off, for when I opened my eyes again the sun was quite high in the sky and the terrain beneath us was wooded, low hills. Sokka was sprawled over most of the saddle, still asleep, and Toph was asleep too, huddled in a ball with one arm tight around the rim of the saddle.

'I was going to call you,' Aang said, looking back from his place on Appa's head. 'I think this place is what Toph was looking for'

It was.

'Yep. This is a great place for your next lesson, Twinkletoes,' she said, as soon as she got off the saddle and placed her face firmly on the ground.

She has an odd way of digging her toes in the earth and moving her feet at different angles... I guess it's something to do with the vibrations she can feel. Aang and I busied ourselves setting up camp, while Sokka said he'd go hunting again.

'Don't fall down any more cracks, Sokka, or this time I'll let Twinkletoes dig you out,' Toph smirked.

'I can take care of myself,' Sokka scowled.

'I doubt that. Only earthbenders can say that – we rule the earth, see?' She earthbended herself a small mound of rock beneath herself, waving her arms in victory signs.

I shook my head in exasperation as I shook out the tarpaulins.

'No-one should rule the earth,' Aang answered, darkly.

'Well, I'm ruling _this_ piece of earth,' she retorted stamping her feet on the little hillock 'Betchya none of you ninnies can throw me off this rock! Betchya none of you dare fight me! No-one can beat Earthbending – it's the best bending of all!'

I decided to ignore her. I thought she was being pretty childish, and needlessly confrontational, but Aang looked decidedly disgruntled.

'I don't need any stupid bending to take down anybody – a good strategy and plan will always work anytime,' Sokka stated with confidence.

'Well, what are you waiting for? Come and get me!' Toph taunted.

I don't know what made Aang fall for her game – I suppose he figured standing up to her had worked once, and it would again. He airbended himself straight at her, intending to knock her off her pedestal. Unfortunately, Aang's _earth-_bending skills are still vestigial, and Toph's retaliation was, in my opinion, unnecessarily brutal. She crushed him savagely in a hand-shaped rock she earthbended out of the ground.

She was supposed to be _teaching_ him, not trying to hurt him in stupid, rough play!

'You'll be sorry you did that to Aang!' I shouted, vastly irritated now, as I prepared to put a stop to their game. Bad enough she risked hurting him during training!

Looking back, I think I may have overreacted, I don't know. I felt as though I had to defend Aang. I should've stayed out of it - it was, after all, just a stupid game and I guess it was just part of Toph's insatiable appetite for tests of strength. Perhaps it was a substitute for the 'Earth Rumble' games she now had to forego. In any case, I think she heard the towering wave I waterbended over her from a nearby stream for she disappeared into the ground, hillock and all! The water splashed harmlessly onto the ground. Then she reappeared behind me.

'That's cheating!' I yelled indignantly, letting the spirit of the game get to me, after all.

But then I realised that I was sinking. Toph had turned the ground into a quicksand.

'The recipe for quicksand calls for water, so - thanks, Katara,' she taunted.

But I didn't hear her. I had sunk to my waist already and was fighting a rising panicky feeling. This was like when General Fong's had earthbended me into the ground. I would never forget that. I fell silent, trying to control the sudden irrational instinct to scream and flail around wildly. I heard Sokka's boomerang and looked up to see that he had almost managed to knock Toph off her mound, using the element of a surprise ambush, but then I sunk to my chest and forgot about everything else.

Sokka hit the ground near the quicksand, felled by Toph's earthbending, and I screwed my eyes shut, willing myself not to lose my head. It was just a stupid _game_.

'...you win...' I told Toph, through gritted teeth.

'...You're the King of the Hill,' Sokka agreed, defeated.

Next instant Aang was by my side, earthbending the mud away to free my hands so I could bend myself out.

'You okay?' he whispered, his eyes searching my face in concern.

I gave him a wan smile. 'Yeah, just a bruised ego'

I waterbended the mud away from around me, feeling some color return to my face. Toph was doing a victory dance on top of her mound, whooping in delight. The way she had beaten us all rankled a bit, but it was more the shock of sinking into the ground that had got to me.

'She wouldn't have let you go down, you know,' Aang said, as he leaned down and offered me his hand.

I took it and he pulled me out of the quicksand, dripping mud. My eyes flickered to his. Although I had never spoken about that day at General Fong's fortress again, Aang had guessed what had upset me.

'Yeah ... well, I wasn't too sure... anyway, I suppose she got her own back at me for 'drowning her' yesterday,' I said with a rueful smile at my mud-covered clothes.

'Toph's unbeatable when she's standing on her own element,' Aang grinned. 'Come on, let's give Sokka a hand, he fell over quite hard.'

Toph had calmed down considerably after being declared 'queen of the Hill' and in the afternoon she concentrated on Aang's new lessons in a very happy mood.

Only this time, the lessons were absolutely nothing like before. There was no rock-throwing or boulder-lifting or the crashes and landslides of the past couple of days.

Instead, both sat quietly under some trees in the middle of the woods and 'listened' to the earth. It was so quiet, so still, and so unlike Toph's previous teachings, that it hardly seemed like an earthbending lesson at all. I got the impression that part of the reason for all that rambunctious fooling around earlier on, had been because she knew there was a 'quiet-time' ahead.

'I'll train you to hear the smallest creature burrowing beneath your feet, to feel the slightest shift in the deepest rock...' she told Aang.

It was fascinating to hear her explain what a lot of information could be gathered through feeling earth vibrations. I found myself listening eagerly to what she was saying, my earlier resentment at her stupid game of this morning completely forgotten. Could she really feel the tree roots growing? I had no doubt that she could. If anyone else had told me that, I would seriously doubt it, but I believe Toph. As I saw during this morning's tussle, Toph is hypersensitive to sounds in the air and where they're coming from: she heard Aang on his airball, she heard the water wave I bended at her, and the whistling sound of Sokka's boomerang and she had, furthermore, quite accurately judged their distance and speed ( and our loud voices must have helped too): those sounds are not transmitted through her element, so I imagine she must be a hundred times more sensitive to vibrations or sounds' in the earth itself ...

And if Aang could learn from her in the same way, that would be really, really great! Bumi knew what he was saying when he told Aang to look for a teacher who listens... Once again, that crazy old King was right. I just hope for his sake ( and Aang's), that Bumi can get out of that metal coffin whenever he thinks the time is right.

I could've stayed sitting quietly in the background listening to Toph and Aang for hours. They have both come a long way since that disastrous first lesson. There's no shouting , and Aang is very focussed on learning... I'll be really proud of him when he masters Toph's skills. He would be unbeatable even at earth-bending, and 'king of the Hill' then!

Unfortunately, I couldn't stay there long, for Sokka's hunting foray hadn't gone very well this morning, and he was complaining of hunger, so I had to go off to see what I could forage.

The sun was setting when I returned, and, to my surprise, I found Toph had earthbended Sokka a hundred feet up on a narrow column of rock.

'He was running too loud,' she explained 'Aang couldn't hear anything.'

'Umm ... she means Sokka created a ruckus running after Momo' Aang explained, with an apologetic grin 'Momo had this big fruit he wanted... anyway it meant I couldn't hear the vibrations from the Woolly Pig in its lair in the ground beneath us.'

'You mean there's a Woolly Pig just sitting there, and you didn't tell me!?' Sokka's indignant voice came from up high. 'I'm hungry!'

'He's really far down, Sokka,' Aang said, hastily 'and besides, Woolly Pigs are just as cute as Foo- Foo Cuddly Poops was.'

Sokka growled something very rude in reply and sat down grumpily on top of his tower. I stifled a laugh.

Aang's lesson lasted a while longer. At the end of it, he thought he could feel the movements of the bugs just beneath the surface of the soil nearby, and he said the Woolly Pig was asleep in its burrow, very deep beneath the earth, but that he thought he could feel it shifting in its sleep. Toph confirmed it was, and also explained on which side it was laying and how heavy it was.

I was really impressed.

'I couldn't feel stuff like roots growing, like Toph,' Aang said 'but still it's amazing what you _can_ feel. It works better with my eyes closed!'

'Course it does!' Toph interjected. 'Who needs eyes? I wouldn't be half the earthbender I am, if I could see. It would've interfered too much.'

She spoke with a simple conviction that made me see just how different her attitude to her blindness was. She had told Aang that she was born blind, so perhaps she didn't know what she was missing, but even more important than that, she saw it as an _advantage_.

This was something her parents – and indeed many others – cannot understand.

She made Sokka stay up on his rock column till late at night and only allowed him down when I finished cooking a rather meagre supper of wild lettuce soup and herbs. I didn't interfere. Sokka has to learn to stay out of the way when Aang's studying earthbending – especially the quiet 'listening' type of earthbending, because his lessons are way more important than anything else right now.

**175 th day of our journey. Today we journeyed along the high hills and mountains to the south of the arid grasslands that border the Si Wong desert. There are several small villages and towns in the wooded valleys here and we decided to stop for provisions at a market in one of these small towns.**

**Unfortunately, Appa may have been spotted, for we were discovered by the Rough Rhinos. This could also have been due to the fact that Sokka drew too much attention to himself, having been mistaken for the Avatar.**

**The Rough Rhinos weren't any match for three master benders and we soon had them fleeing the town, and the case of my brother's mistaken identity, solved.**

**We left the small town soon after and we are now camping in the thickest part of the woodlands, taking turn to keep watch in case the Rough Rhinos come back.**

**Tomorrow we leave at dawn and we're heading away from these relatively densely-populated hills and mountains. **

It was Sokka's fault. And Aang's. But mainly Sokka's.

I don't know what possessed them to do such a stupid thing. I mean – I know the reason _why _Sokka pretended he was the Avatar, but the reason is even more stupid than the pretence itself!

I hadn't wanted to stay long in the town anyway – after a close shave with Zuko and those three girls, I wasn't too happy going back to 'civilisation' again – even in this forgotten backwater of the Southern Earth Kingdom. Unlike Gaoling, the villages here are rather isolated and probably would not have heard more than vague rumours about the Avatar. Still - one could not be too careful.

However, after so many days of intensive training in uninhabited places, we really needed some stuff we could only find at markets. We landed in a quiet backstreet and as usual Aang had to think about a disguise. The street was almost deserted except for one small hawker selling pelts. Aang got hold of a Beaver-fox hat and looked doubtfully at it.

'This isn't real fur, is it?' he frowned, looking at the old stallkeeper.

'I've got a false fur one for you, if that's what yer lookin fer!' the old hawker said with a shrewd look, and he handed him another hat exactly the same as the one he held. 'False fur is the new fashion and pretty expensive in big cities where them beaver-fox varmints are rare, but out here, Beaver-fox is plentiful, and false fur prices have dropped. Try it on - see how soft it feels: exactly like the real thing!'

Aang rammed the tailed hat on his head eagerly. I could tell, having lived all my life in pelt-lined tents and igloos, as well as sewn clothes and hats with the same-said skins, that what was on Aang's head was a real skin with real fur, and the Pelt dealer was just having him on, but just then something distracted my attention.

The smell of deep-fried pickled radishes!

I had tasted them back in Chin Village during the ill-fated festival we had attended, and they were _good_ (perhaps one of the only few good things about Chin village). After yesterday's miserable fare ( I had given most of my soup to Sokka, who was ravenous), I felt hungry.

'Hey, Sokka - what do you think? Now we both have ponytails!' I heard Aang say.

Well, my brother and Aang could take care of themselves. The direction of the smell was coming from the village centre, where the main market was located.

'Hey, Toph, wanna taste something really good?'

'I could eat a _Bull-pig_!' was Toph earnest reply, so we headed for the main village square which was teaming with people and market stalls. I hadn't been to a market since Gaoling, and I loved wondering around seeing the things for sale: mostly food, but there were also clothes and jewellery, and pots and pans, and even odd stalls with quirky stuff like the pirates had... Toph was only interested in food, and she agreed that the pickled radishes tasted great, so after buying what we needed ( I had to bargain hard, for money is tight, but I'm getting better at it) we headed back to where we had let Appa in one of the backstreets. We loaded him up and headed back to see where the boys had gone to, only we found what looked like a whole procession heading to the houses on the outskirts of the village.

'Haven't you heard? The Avatar's in town!' one woman told us.

I couldn't believe Aang would wilfully draw so much attention to himself – he knows we have to keep a low profile. For the sake of the people here, as well as ourselves. Fire Nation soldiers would descend on this town and destroy it if they knew they were harbouring the Avatar here! Toph and I joined the excited crowd, but my worries increased when I heard someone praise 'Avatar Sokka'

_Avatar Sokka?_

Toph was just as baffled as I was but when we arrived at a house on the outskirts of town we saw my brother was actually the object of the crowd's attention. He was standing on the porch of one of the larger houses together with a young, teenage girl, looking very pleased with the crowd's cheers and adulation of 'Avatar Sokka'!

He didn't look too pleased when he saw us and hastily pulled us inside the house after explaining to the crowd that we were his sidekicks (Sidekicks!).

Inside, we found Aang still in his beaver-fox hat and holding a mop.

'Uh...I'm his servant,' Aang said, in reply to my questioning look. He indicated Sokka. 'I'm cleaning the house.'

My brother explained he had been trying to impress the girl and she sorta misunderstood who of them was the Avatar. I was furious, but the crowd outside was yelling to see the Avatar do some bending, and they were getting pretty loud, and Sokka more desperate.

'We'll play along', I agreed, finally 'But only because we'll have a full-scale riot if we don't, and –'

But Sokka didn't even let me finish, for he ran outside:

'All right, if that's what you all want' he addressed the crowd with a theatrical gesture 'Everyone stand back. I am about to do some waterbending!'

Biting back my fury, I played along, waterbending a long waterwhip around him, making it appear like he was doing it. Toph joined in too, both of us accidentally-on-purpose hitting him as we bended – just for the heck of it.

It was then that the Rough Rhinos came, probably attracted by the crowd's cheers and shouts of 'Avatar!'. There were supposed to be five of them, but I could only see four. One of them was supposed to be locked up in Chin prison, though, judging how the idiot of a Mayor ran things there, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd escaped somehow.

They thundered towards us menacingly, and soon cries of 'Avatar Sokka save us!' came from the crowds. However, 'Avatar Sokka' was the first to be captured by the Rough Rhinos: he was trussed up tightly with the chains, dragged ignominiously away from us, and dumped unceremoniously in a sack on a Rhino's rump, behind his captor.

We beat them of course. We were not asleep this time, as we had been when they first attacked us. Besides, we had Toph on our side now, too. So, despite taunts to the contrary, we were more than a match for the five of them and after a short battle during which they became closely acquainted with air- ;water-; and earth-bending combined, they, together with their terrified rhinos, retreated in a disarray, followed by the boos and hoots from the crowds.

They left Sokka behind in a sack.

We thought the game was up for Sokka, but no - the silly girl he had been trying to impress ran up to him, with a simpering smile plastered on her face:

'That was so _amazing_ of you!' she said with a kiss and much fluttering of eyelashes, 'Letting your sidekicks pretend to be benders so that they could save the day for once.' Then she wanted to know how he could have done all that bending inside the sack.

We stared at her aghast. Could she really be _that_ stupid?

Apparently she was. And my brother took advantage of it.

'Well, when you're an amazing Avatar like me...' he started, as the girl took his arm and they prepared to walk away from the mess Sokka had created.

The crowd, not sure what had happened, looked uncertainly at the pair of them. Some of those who heard the girls' words, cheered. Others scratched their heads uncertainly, not sure what to make of all the bending.

The fury that I had kept in check earlier spilt over. I'd teach both of them what a sidekick was! And I'd teach them not to mess around with the Avatar's title! Only Aang was entitled to be called that! I glanced at Aang and Toph: both 'sidekicks' were scowling angrily at Sokka.

'I think its time we exposed that Avatar,' I told them 'who's with me?'

'I'm in!' came the answer.

Next instant, the girl was blown several yards away by an air blast, and Sokka knocked over then trapped in a weird combination of ice and rock Toph and I bended him in.

'This guy's a phoney!' Toph cried, climbing on top of the rock-and-ice formation Sokka was trapped under 'he's not even a bender!'

There were murmurs of astonishment and surprise form the crowd.

'What are you saying!?' the girl had dusted herself off and came back.

'That he's not the Avatar!' Toph responded with a smirk. She was enjoying every minute of it. 'Tell them, Sokka!'

She gave a deceptively gentle nudge with her foot on the rock shackles surrounding Sokka that made his eyes bulge out.

'I'm not the Avatar!' Sokka said flatly, with a defeated look.

'If you're not the Avatar, then who is?' the girl asked.

But the crowd, collectively more intelligent than she, had already started looking and pointing at Aang. They had seen him airbending after all.

I walked over to Aang and put my arms round his shoulder. '_This_ is the Avatar, and don't any of you ever forget it!' I shouted angrily.

'Umm... Katara ...' Aang whispered urgently 'Didn't you say something about keeping a low profile?'

'Well, it's a bit too late for that now, don't you think? Sokka saw to that –'

But suddenly I was unceremoniously pushed out of the way by Sokka's girlfriend. Or rather, _ex-_girlfriend. Completely ignoring Sokka, she started fawning all over Aang now.

'OOOOh! _You're_ the Avatar! I knew it was you the minute I saw you air-bending!' the stupid girl gushed, excitedly 'Oh, my! You had me fooled for a bit there. They said the Avatar was a young airbender, and you're even younger than I imagined! But wow - you literally swept me off my feet earlier! Hey - would you like to come inside –?'

'Uh... I think I've done enough inside your house. I hope you find the floors swept to your liking, Miss. Come on, let's go, Katara!' Aang said hurriedly, for the girl looked as though she had every intention of dragging him inside.

I didn't need to be told twice. Toph and I released a subdued Sokka from the rock and ice and we made our way hurriedly through the streets to where we kept Appa. The girl followed us for a while, trying to strike a conversation with Aang and asking him why he let such a loser as my brother illicitly take his title. Finally, I threatened to freeze her to the spot unless she stopped following us.

She came to a halt and many other stragglers and curious well-wishers hung back too, for I was in a temper by now, and I guess many thought the threat would soon apply to them too.

My bad mood lasted till we found Appa and were finally airborne and away from that place. But even then, I couldn't stop glaring at my brother. Our first stop at a market after 10 days and he had to fool around and get us noticed by the Rough Rhinos! Maybe other Fire Nation soldiers too, now. And what for?!

No-one said anything much ( I suppose they knew I would have bitten their head off if they had) until hours later, when Aang guided Appa down to a secluded densely- forested valley where we set camp for the night.

Toph earthbended herself a tent and went to sleep immediately, for she had eaten too many deep-fried radishes at the market and wasn't hungry. I busied myself preparing supper for the rest of us, still keeping a tight lid over my anger, even though I knew it was perhaps disproportionate to the reasons in question.

Then again, perhaps it wasn't.

'I'll take first watch tonight, Katara' Sokka said 'But I don't think the Rough Rhinos will dare show up again!'

'Yes, I'm sure after your amazing display of Avatar skills they'll be _scared to_, Sokka!' I knew Sokka was trying to make up for his mistake, but I couldn't keep the biting sarcasm, nor the simmering fury out of my words.

'Come on, Katara! Why're you still so mad? I said I'm not going to pretend to be the Avatar anymore.'

'You bet you won't! I'm not going to play along if you ever try that again – I'll –'

'Katara – it was my fault, too,' Aang interrupted. He had been following out conversation from beyond the campfire. He came over to the fire and sat down next to us with a slight frown. 'I sorta ... suggested it.'

'What on earth for?'

'Well, Sokka liked that girl...' he started, sheepishly.

'Does this girl even have a _name_?' I glared at my brother.

'Uh... I guess she does, but I hadn't arrived to that bit yet. Or perhaps she told me but I forgot, with all the excitement...'

I made a noise of exasperation.

'Anyway, she didn't seem that much interested in Sokka, at first' Aang broke in hurriedly 'But then she seemed to have...uh... misunderstood he's the Avatar, and that changed things, so I just said that _he_ was the Avatar.'

'You did _what?!'_

'I told her Sokka's the Avatar,' he repeated.

'Aang – how _could _you? Whydid you do that?'

'Sokka liked her,' he answered simply, still looking puzzled, as though it was no big deal.

Perhaps it wasn't. But for me it was.

I turned round on my brother angrily. 'So you pretend to be someone you're not just to impress one silly, shallow, empty-headed _floozy_, who doesn't know anything about you or much less _care_ anything about you, except that she thought you're the Avatar?!' my voice rose angrily.

Aang was looking at me with a stricken face, but my brother was looking at me uncomprehendingly.

'Yeah, that's more or less it,' he shrugged.

'But she only liked you because she thought you're the Avatar!' I retorted angrily, refusing to give up. I hated seeing my brother with someone so shallow and unworthy...

Perhaps I was comparing her to Yue. Perhaps my own close brush with someone unworthy like Jet made me over-react to what was probably just a casual, meaningless romance. Perhaps it's just that I hate insincere people, I don't know.

'That was the idea right from the beginning, Katara. It works for Aang...' Sokka said.

Sokka's words prodded what was, perhaps, another source for my disproportionate anger over this.

'Oh yes? Well, of _course_ it will work!' I shouted 'If you want to attract the kind of grasping, avaricious, wannabe, social-climbing floozies like that girl! You should be ashamed of yourself, Sokka! And Aang, I really don't know why you were aiding and abetting something like that. I –'

I stopped , took a deep breath and shook my head.

Aang was looking at me almost in shock, and Sokka ...Sokka was looking decidedly angry now. Well, at least I had shaken him out of his apathy about it.

'Look, Sokka,' I continued, forcing myself to speak calmly 'It's... it's just that you can do better...'

'No. Perhaps I can't,' he said, curtly.

I bit my lip, deflating. I think I know what Sokka means. He certainly can do better than that girl, but he certainly cannot do better than Yue. I suddenly remembered that his vision in the Foggy Swamp had been of Yue. That was only two weeks ago. What girl can compare to that? Perhaps knowing he can find no-one , he'll settle for anyone.

I stirred the pot of soup over the fire and said nothing for a while. Aang was quiet too. He looked troubled for some reason. I wished I hadn't spoken so angrily at what they obviously considered just a bit of fun.

'Look guys, sorry about that,' I said 'I shouldn't have yelled at you. After all, we got away alright. It's just that I don't like this business of using the Avatar title just to get any girl you want...'

Aang's eyes flickered to mine from across the fire. 'I don't know why you think it's so easy for the Avatar to get the girl he wants,' he said, in a low voice.

I swallowed my tongue and shut up, going back to stirring the pot, for I couldn't meet his eyes. Just then Appa gave a low rumble, for he hadn't been fed yet. I heard Aang get up and go over to him, leaving Sokka and I alone with our thoughts.

Very uncomfortable thoughts.

Sokka was glowering at the fire, his mind a million miles away, and I ... I was disturbed by Aang's words, and the thoughts in my mind drifted dangerously close to what I had forbid myself to think about, And yet... I could hardly mistake the meaning of Aang's words... or the slight bitterness of his tone.

A feeling of guilt came over me and my mind crowded with doubts. Was I making the right decision?

I will not know unless he says anything. I'm hoping he doesn't, for I don't know how to explain to him what my heart and my head have been battling over for so long now.


	36. Chapter 36

**176 th day of our journey. We left early at dawn this morning, having decided to go to Hiroku Canyon, a deep ravine in the arid grasslands bordering the Si Wong desert. After our brush with the Rough Rhinos we weren't taking any chances and the more desolate the place, the better it was. Besides, it sounded like a great place for Toph Bei Fong and the Avatar to continue earth-bending lessons. **

**However, soon after we left, while we were still flying north-east over the densely forested area, we were hit by a freak storm. Appa could barely fly straight, so when a double tornado hit us, he lost control. Everyone was thrown off the saddle.**

**Sokka and I landed together on a thatched hut, which broke our fall. The hut belonged to some wild-looking kids who threatened to take our stuff, and we barely got away.**

**The only landmark for miles around, was a high tower in the middle of the dense tropical forest. All of us had seen the tower before the storm hit us, so it was likely that the others would head in that direction.**

**It was a long hike but finally, when we arrived at the tower, we saw that there was a huge building on top of it. Climbing up its steep sides we found out that it was an orphanage, and Toph, Momo and Appa were already there. Aang found his way to it soon afterwards. **

**The Orphanage is run by an old lady, called Grandma Lokai, but all the children are gone with one exception: a simple-minded earthbender called Onku, who cares and provides for old lady as she must have once done for him.**

**Grandma Lokai has kindly offered us to spend the night here. **

It was like the Foggy Swamp all over again, only there was nothing mysterious calling Aang this time – it was just the sudden appearance of two twisters out of the storm and Aang's momentary distraction. He had been looking backwards at me, and didn't see the double tornado.

'Turn round!' I yelled, but it was too late, he didn't make to veer Appa around in time.

We were all thrown off the saddle and plunged downwards towards the dense tropical Forest.

Now that I think back about it, Aang's mistake is pretty similar to my own when, during the southward-bound journey aboard the Northern Water Tribe vessel, a moment of distraction on my part caused Onartak, my fellow tribesman, to be swept overboard in a similar storm.

I can draw the parallels only too well, and this goes to show that Master Pakku's words about focus and concentration in battle or in a crisis are of fundamental importance, and distractions are definitely to be avoided.

Of course, I wasn't thinking about all that as I plunged downwards.

Like at the Foggy Swamp, the dense trees broke our fall (that, and the fact that Aang had kept Appa flying low over the tree-line, hoping to find a clearing where to land when the storm hit). Furthermore, the wild boys' thatched hut helped provide a softer lading, but there was no cushioning effect of swamp-water, and Sokka landed hard and broke his arm.

Those guys didn't appreciate having their hut smashed by people falling from the sky. Surrounding us like Lion-vultures, they stole all our stuff and even asked for money and valuables. They were a motley bunch of boys roughly our age, but very tough and wild-looking – a bit like the freedom-fighters. Their leader (who also appeared to be the youngest) was a small guy with an eye-patch and a sharp tongue.

We escaped and outran them far enough to get to a river, where, of course, I had the upper hand. I threatened to sweep them away with a tidal wave of water unless they gave us back our stuff.

They did. But the eye-patch guy was so belligerent and rude that I decided to wash them away on a huge wave anyhow. That way, they wouldn't come back to bother us.

I hastily healed Sokka's broken arm and packed our returned stuff inside a sleeping bag.

'I think we should hike to that tower,' Sokka said, indicating the odd shape above the tree line 'it's the only landmark for miles around.'

'And the most logical place for the others to be heading,' I agreed. 'Sounds like a plan.'

Sokka's fracture was complete, but not displaced, so healing it was no trouble. We set off immediately, afraid the boys would return. The storm had blown over but it was a good hours' hike and the sun was already setting when we arrived.

The tower was even odder up close, for it was a sheer, steep, rock-formation with a large building perched on top, like an eagle-hawk on its nest.

'I'm not an earthbender, but this seems to me the result of some pretty impressive earthbending,' I said, as we went round the sheer column of earth trying to find steps or some sort of easy way up.

There were none.

'We have to scale this thing. There's no other way,' my brother said 'And I think you're right about the earthbending... the rock isn't so weathered. It's been like this for a few years but not more, cos there's nothing much growing on it.'

I started up the tower of rock, 'I hope whatever up there's worth the climb.'

The sheer height of the tower meant I had to cling on with both hands and feet. It reminded me a bit of Omashu or the Air Temples, perched as it was on a steep rock face.

'D' you think this was done to defend whoever lives up there from intruders?' I panted as the climb became steeper.

'Yeah, well, judging by how those young thieves treated us, I guess whoever lives up there has the right idea. They've earthbended themselves a very defensible place.'

'None of those kids were earthbenders. Only an earthbender could get up this place easily. I hope the others come straight here.'

The sky was a blazing orange-red canvas, against which the tower was silhouetted in dark shadow. I was seriously worried about them. I was sure they could take care of themselves, but what if, like Sokka, they got hurt during the crash-landing, and couldn't bend their way out of trouble?

I tried to push this from my mind, and forged on ahead. I had to focus on keeping my grip on the narrow ledge because it afforded very little foothold or handhold, and a stiff evening breeze was threatening to blow me off my precarious position. I was nearly at the very top and could see a large red-roofed building looming above me, when suddenly I heard a deep rumble. Turning my head, I saw a column of rock had been earthbended to my level and on top of it, smiling broadly, was a stout young earthbender.

He hardly seemed older than Sokka, but he was taller and broader, built along the same lines as 'The Boulder' from Gaoling. I was petrified at first. Clinging desperately to the sheer rock face there was no way I could do any defensive bending without falling off – we were sitting turkey-ducks!

However, there was something disarmingly childish and harmless about the young earthbender. His smile was warm and open, and when he spoke, I knew we had nothing to fear.

'Welcome...others,' he said, his deep voice contrasting with a pronounced lisp.

'Er...hi!' I said.

The young earthbender's eyes shone with eager wonder as he looked at us. Then he earthbended the last few yards of cliff face above me into a shallow staircase.

'Come... you come!' he beckoned with childish enthusiasm and I followed him up the steps.

He burst into the building earthbender-style: opening a hole in the middle of the wall. Sokka and I followed him inside.

'Look! Found... others,' he said to a little old lady sitting at a table, then, as he moved his bulk out of the way, I saw Toph! I barely recognised her, for she was dressed in a loose, frilly pink-and-purple dress with a large tiara and earrings! I ran to her, hugging her in relief, my worries that she may lay injured somewhere in the thick forest dissipating. Momo, too, was with her, a small red cape tied about his neck that was effectively stopping him from flying.

The little old lady hobbled over slowly towards us, her face wrinkling up into a toothless smile. Grey-haired and tiny, she had a worn, but kind-looking face, and clothes that had been patched and mended many times over. 'Prince' and 'Princess' she called us, and seemed to think we'd be enthusiastic over the dressing-up games she had evidently talked Toph into. That was the first weird thing I noticed: Toph wasn't the type to be easily persuaded into such a dress.

'Not leave ever! You stay with me... with Granny.' The big earthbender guy lisped, smiling inanely.

And that's when I started to get worried, for I realised what was going on. The young guy was evidently a bit simple and he seemed to think he could hold us here to play dressing-up games forever! But before I could process this new bit of information, Aang burst in on an airball!

'Nobody is staying anywhere! Get away from my friends!' he shouted at the big earthbender boy.

Next minute, the two of them were fighting.

'Oh my!' said the little old lady near me, her rheumy eyes opening wide in alarm.

'Way to over-react, Aang!' Toph called out, but with the crashes and noise of the blasts of air and earth, I don't think Aang heard her.

Much as I was relieved to see him, I thought Toph was right – she could have easily have escaped or beat the young earthbender at his own game, after all. Then I caught sight of an old framed picture entitled 'Grandma Lokai's Orphanage'. A younger, neater version of the old lady stood surrounded by loads of little kids of all ages, all smiling happily. I even thought I recognised a few of the guys who attacked us in the woods.

'Aang...Look! This is an Orphanage!' I shouted, bending and freezing a screen of water between him and the big guy.

'I could have told you that,' Toph said, laconically.

'That's me - Onku ... big guy' the earthbender exclaimed with huge grin, pointing to the largest kid in the photo. He had completely forgotten his fight with Aang. Grandma Lokai went over and placed an affectionate hand on his broad shoulders.

'Granny loves all her children ...' she quavered, looking up with a fond smile at Onku.

Then she sighed and turned to us with a vague air of having forgotten something and mumbled once more about her Princes and Princesses. 'It was much nicer before the war, before the children stopped coming...' her words faded into another sigh, and her heavy old eyes stared blankly at what only she could remember.

Then they settled on us and her face brightened. With a burst of coherency she said she knew we weren't going to stay here forever, though she would have loved us to. Aang still looked a bit anxious. He apologised for the misunderstanding, but said he had to go find Appa.

Toph exasperatedly explained that Appa had been in the courtyard all along. She had hardly finished speaking, when Aang ran outside with a shout of joy. As Toph said, the great bison was comfortably asleep among some apple trees. He rumbled happily as Aang flung himself upon him. I went up to the gentle Giant and scratched him behind his ears (he loves that).

'You had me worried, buddy!' he said 'There was no sign of you anywhere – not even a crash-landing.'

'That's because he landed here right from the beginning.' Toph had followed us, holding her shapeless dress up so she could walk, 'I found him here when I earthbended my way up this tower – it was easy to find. Momo was here, too.'

'Oh –right! I guess it was the only clear space where Appa could land, so he headed straight for it. Should've thought about it. I guess I did overreact, Toph.'

'Old fuzzy here is big enough to take care of himself,' she replied 'You shouldn't worry about him.'

'Perhaps you're right, but ... I do anyway. Me and Appa go back a long way, don't we, boy? I don't know what I'd do if he got hurt or something...' Aang fondly scratched Appa's head while Toph shook hers.

'It took you longer to reach the tower. What held you up Aang?' I asked.

'Viper-bats and a lack of a sense of direction.'

Toph sniggered. 'I think I would rather face viper-bats than this,' she flounced the skirts of her dress ruefully.

Aang grinned, his anxiety completely gone now. 'How did she persuade you into those?'

'I'm still wondering about that myself,' Toph scowled.

'The crown and earrings are kinda pretty,' I said helpfully, 'But the dress is ...uh...'

'She's very old, isn't she?' Toph retorted defiantly, 'And kinda sad. And she asked nicely...'

We were interrupted by a shout from Sokka, who was talking to Onku.

'Hey, guys, we're invited to stay overnight here!' he cried 'Supper first!'

Onku led us back inside and showed us our room. It was actually big dormitory with many little beds lined along one wall – all of them neatly done, but empty, for their young occupants were long gone.

I sat down on one of them. It was small but comfortable, and certainly better than sleeping out in the rain-soaked forest. There was a tiny table near each bed. I smiled as I read some of the graffiti carved in childish characters on the side of the table: "_Juno is a big, fat Goat-gorilla_" one of them read. Another "_Kuai loves Meilee'_ and, in an even more childish hand_: Meilee's speshial magic dollee, LooLu'._ A crude stick figure graffiti of a doll was carved below these last words.

I looked up at the top of the table next to my bed. A little rag doll was propped up against the wall, with tousled yarn hair tied up with a faded ribbon, and patiently-stitched features on a rather begrimed face. Its tiny robes were lovingly patched up however, and it seemed to be waiting in happy expectancy for its young owner.

This place had seen some happy times. I could almost hear the ghostly echoes of children's laughter in this old room – orphans finding solace in the company of others like them, and in the affection of one kindly old lady who would not abandon these children to a life without love. This had been a home for them.

Until the war.

That's what Grandma Lokai had said. The children stopped coming because of the war...

I glanced up at the others and caught Aang's eye. He was holding what looked like a small drum on a stick with two small metal balls attached to its rim by strings. He twirled it expertly between his fingers and the rat-tat-tat-tat of the toy drum reverberated in the room.

'I had one like this once,' he told me.

'...Wonder what happened to the kids who lived here?' he continued softly.

'Grown up and gone,' I replied. 'I don't think they have any use for their old toys where they are now, but Grandma Lokai kept them.'

Toph had been fiddling impatiently with her pink-and-purple dress, but she desisted and let her hands fall to her side, her head turning to Aang's drum-on-a-stick.

Sokka appeared at the door then. 'Granny said supper's ready' he told us 'Come on, hurry up. I'm starving!'

'I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry if I were you, Sokka,' Toph smirked, but he was already out of the door. She lifted her flouncy skirts as though to tear them off her, but then, with a sigh, she let them fall about her legs again and shuffled out after Sokka.

Supper was beetle-worm soup.

_Beetle-worm soup!_

Sokka forced it down - after all, he had eaten the bugs the Foggy Swamp people prepared. I desperately did not want to hurt Grandma Lokai's feelings, but the worms tasted terrible, and their texture was worse than the raw, soggy dough Mayor Tong had made us eat on Avatar Day. Aang surreptitiously airbended his out of the window, and Toph offered hers to Onku, who ate it hungrily.

I cast around anxiously for a topic of conversation, trying not to look at the worm-ends protruding from the green gungy stuff in my plate.

'So, did you make this tower, Onku?'

'Yes. Keep Granny safe.'

'Safe from what?' Aang asked.

'Soldiers. Bad, bad, soldiers' he grimaced and made a face like a child imitating the appearance of a bad spirit.

We looked at him wide-eyed. What could soldiers possible want from an orphanage?

'They took the children,' Grandma Lokai said, out of the blue.

All eyes turned to her, except Onku, who had started licking his empty plate with gusto. A tiny shiver of apprehension passed through me – this didn't sound good.

The rheumy eyes of old Mother Lokai slowly slid shut. 'They took the children away,' she repeated, the wrinkled, heavy lids screwed up in painful remembrance. 'The earthbender children. They didn't take Onku, because Onku is... different. They didn't need _him_.' The tired old voice cracked and a single tear slid down her cheek.

'When did this happen?' I whispered, aghast.

Except for the slurpings of Onku, the silence in the room was absolute as we stared at her with shocked faces.

She did not seem to hear me.

'Luli was such a wonderful little girl. She loved dressing up as a Princess. She earthbended little castles for her dolls, too,' Grandma Lokai seemed to have rambled off into distant memories. 'She was the first to be taken. But they came again and again.'

'Fire Nation soldiers? ' Sokka asked, in a tight voice.

'Hmm, what dear?' Grandma Lokai looked up vaguely at Sokka 'My, my, but you look so much like dear Juno. He ran away. The soldiers didn't find _him_.'

The name rang a bell. He was one of the wild boys in the forest.

'Juno not a bendie. But Juno likes Meilee,' Onku interrupted with a huge grin.

'Grandma Lokai, Juno and some others are still in the forest. We saw them.' I said, carefully omitting to explain under what circumstances.

'You saw my boys?' the old face crinkled into a smile, 'They still come and see me sometimes. They haven't forgotten Granny and they always bring me fruit.'

'Why don't they live here anymore?' Sokka asked, frowning.

'They aren't earthbenders, but I made them hide in the forest, you see ...just in case the soldiers came back. Then they liked it there... children grow up so fast... Luli never did. They took her. They saw her earthbending. I wonder where she is now... we loved playing at dressing-up...'

Grandma Lokai's eyes darted around the room anxiously, as though looking for someone. 'I still hear her call me sometimes, you know... '

Aang and I exchanged looks, and Toph fingered her frilly dress, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. But Grandma Lokai was lost in the past, and seemed unaware of our presence.

'Yes, she calls me...' she continued 'From the courtyard, or from the bedroom, or even just behind me..._'Mama, Mama_," she says _"you be the queen, and I'll be your little Princess"..._ such good times we had...'

'She...Luli was your _daughter_?' I asked.

Grandma Lokai nodded sadly. 'I wonder where she is,' she repeated softly 'She never came back. This big house was so empty...'

'So you made it into an orphanage,' I prompted, feeling the prickling of tears behind my eyes.

Grandma Lokai's eyes fixed upon mine with a brief but painful lucidity. 'Sozin's armies not only took Luli, they took others too. Many families were broken...many little children needed a home...'

'Sozin? That was many, many decades ago,' Sokka interrupted 'but you mentioned soldiers coming more recently.'

'Did I?'

'Yes, Grandma Lokai, you said Onku was not taken...' Aang explained slowly 'That can't have been _so_ long ago.'

'I forget, I forget...I'm getting old... they came so many times looking for earthbender children...'

'Onku built tower. Keep Granny safe.' Onku piped up; proudly 'Bring others...'

'Yes, sweetie, you did a great job. Granny loves your tower...' Grandma Lokai's face wrinkled up in a smile and then her eyes brightened in sudden remembrance 'Yes, that's it - that's the last time they came – when Onku built this tower... eight, or perhaps ten, years ago. We haven't seen the bad men since then, have we, Onku?'

Onku shook his head.

'That figures,' Sokka said 'The Fire Nation was amassing its army for the Siege of Ba Sing Se at that time. The one that lasted 600 days. Afterwards, this place must've been forgotten and left largely alone.'

'It's so sad...' I whispered, with a lump in my throat 'so, so, sad...even little children...'

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. I was a child myself when the Fire Nation soldiers came looking for me. Grandma Lokai didn't have the opportunity to save her child's life like mine was saved by my mother...

I blinked back by tears as I watched Grandma Lokai's eyes wandering once more around the room, as though vaguely looking for something she had lost...

'Ah, fruit!' she said suddenly, getting up from her chair 'I knew there was something else. Growing children need fresh fruit every day, and you look as though you need some, dearie – you look sad. What did you say your name was?'

'Katara,' I answered again (I had told her my name at least twice already)

'Ah yes – Katara. And you too, young airbender, you look a bit too pale even for an Air Nomad... it's been a while since one of your people stopped by...'

'They ...they came here? You knew them?' Aang asked, unable to hide the wistful note in his voice.

'Yes, yes. Refugees. They never could stay very long, for they were hunted, you see...but they were always welcome at Granny Lokai's, always welcome. Their children used to play with my little orphans...such fun they had with those flying orange kites...' she smiled benignly, not noticing Aang's face had grown ashen white.

'I'll help you with the soup plates, Grandma Lokai,' I said, getting up hurriedly.

Sometimes reminiscing about the past is not good. Sokka had a frozen look upon his face as I removed his half-eaten beetleworm soup from in front of him, and Toph was smoothing and re-smoothing the folds of her dress with an odd caressing gesture and a small frown on her face.

Aang was staring out of the window at the distant tree-line in silence.

I followed Grandma Lokai into the kitchen with the soup plates. It took us some time to find the fruit, for she had forgotten where she'd put them, but finally we found them in a basket under a cupboard and went back to the table with some mangoes, bananas and papaya.

Onku, Sokka and Toph tucked into the fruit and I kept the conversation strictly on the present and on the mundane, until the others mood lifted a bit.

Aang however, did not say a word.

Grandma Lokai cheered up immensely as the conversation got livelier and kept urging us to eat and be happy. Only at times, during a lull in the conversation, her eyes would wander vaguely around the room, or else her head would turn expectantly towards an empty corner or towards the door that led to the courtyard...

Perhaps she was still searching for her lost children, or perhaps she was hearing her daughter Luli calling her to play dressing-up games ...

It was not easy to figure out the orphange's history for Grandma Lokai's memory shifted back and forth confusingly through events that took place almost a century apart, but I felt my heart wrench painfully as the pieces of the puzzle slowly started fitting together. After the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes had declared war on Sozin for the genocide of the Air Benders, Sozin, and later his son Azulon, had sent many smaller Fire Nation units on raids into the Earth Kingdom territory, scouting ahead to evaluate Earth Kingdom strengths; defences, and weaknesses. While the main Fire Nation army headed by Azulon was concentrated on the Battle of Gar Sai for the conquest of the Ho Xin provinces by the Mo Ce Sea, and, many decades later, headed by General Iroh, on the Siege of Ba Sing Se, many other smaller units like the Rough Rhinos were sent far and wide throughout the Earth Kingdom and beyond. Their mission, apart from recognisance, was to seek and destroy benders, or else imprison them in mines or work camps wherever possible, thus weakening their enemy's strength. They had come to seek me, the last waterbender, at the South Pole. That policy is still in place up to this very day– I have seen it in action in Haru's village, and here too, in this remote place, its effects were still evident.

Only here, taking out the earthbenders was easy, for they were children.

If they did not kill them, they must have taken them prisoners... or worse...

I don't know which is better.

Grandma Lokai's traumatic loss of her child made her fill up the void with lots of little orphans, bestowing on them all the love and affection she could no longer give her own child and living in constant fear of the return of the soldiers...

Only now the children aren't coming anymore, she said. With very few territories not in Fire Nation hands ( and after the fall of Omashu a month ago), Ozai's only remaining obstacle to winning the war is the unconquered city of Ba Sing Se, so Fire Nation soldiers have left this part of the Earth Kingdom largely alone, but isolated, for years.

The tides of war which had originally brought orphans to Grandma Lokai's house, have now isolated her on this lonely tower. Her last orphans have grown up and left now, so she is alone with only Onku for company.

At least they have each other... but with the threat of a fast-growing senility, and Onku's bland simplicity, life will be hard for both of them.

We stayed up late talking to Onku and Grandma Lokai for their simple pleasure at having visitors was heart-warming,

And bittersweet.

Sokka has pushed two of the tiny beds together and is asleep. Toph is sleeping too, having finally removed her 'Princess' outfit and folded it neatly at the foot of the bed. Aang is still awake in the bed across from mine, his arms behind his head.

In the flickering light of the lantern, his eyes are large and dark, staring at the wooden rafters above and his brows are furrowed in thought. I thought I knew what was bothering him.

'Aang, you okay?'

'Sure.'

I let it be for a while, as I wrote down the day's happenings, but it was Aang who interrupted me.

'Do you – do you think Grandma Lokai will be alright? She seems so frail.'

'I'm sure she will. Onku is young and strong, he can take care of her. And some of the orphans are living rough in the woods . We met them – fought them off, actually. They're tough... kinda like the Freedom Fighters, but Grandma Lokai said they still visit. I'm sure that beneath the toughness, they still have a soft spot for the woman who gave them so much. I think they'll keep an eye on her and on their fellow-orphan, Onku.'

Aang nodded silently and resumed staring at the rafters.

'Aang... you said you were done with dwelling on the past, remember?' I whispered, sitting up in bed.

'That's all that Grandma Lokai does, and look what brutal memories these hundred years have left her with...not only her, but so many others...'

'She has a sharp long-term memory: that happens with old age, and Grandma Lokai is very old –'

'So am I. A hundred years too old!' he made a frustrated noise and sat up 'Look, I know thinking about the past doesn't do any good, but sometimes, the past just won't let go!'

'I don't expect it to, Aang. Good or bad, the past is what makes us who we are. And this place is full of old memories...'

My voice trailed into an uncomfortable silence.

'Then I guess it's time to make some new memories, Katara. Different ones...' he lay back down again on his bed and placed his hands behind his head, his expression hardening as he resumed staring into space again. 'Very different ones.'

He did not say anything after that, and now I think he is asleep, or pretending to.

I had better put this book away now and pretend to sleep too. My mind is in a turmoil and I know I was speaking about myself when I told Aang the past is what makes us who we are... But what if that past makes us flawed individuals? Perhaps my past has. It's something I really don't want to dwell on.

Tomorrow we leave the orphanage, and I feel strangely guilty about it. I hope Grandma Lokai will be ok.

The little flame from the lantern is getting dimmer, and this old dormitory is full of long shadows and the soft sounds of sleep. The only eyes that are wide open are the little rag doll's, as she smiles her stitched smile at me from the bedside table...


	37. Chapter 37

**178 th day of our journey. We have changed direction and have retraced our path, going north-west and leaving the thick tropical forest behind. We have kept to the fringes of the forest, a sparsely-wooded region of high hills and warm spring sunshine. The Avatar is continuing his earthbending and waterbending training very assiduously, sometimes late into the night. **

I don't know how Aang does it. He has immense stamina and moves tirelessly from waterbending to earthbending training, and then back again. Both Toph and my training combined doesn't seem to tire him out – or rather, it does, but he keeps pushing himself anyway. It's as though he's trying to make up for those 100 years in a few days.

He's been at this pace ever since we left the orphanage.

It was hard leaving that place. Grandma Lokai and Onku stood in the orchard to bid us farewell as we climbed onto Appa's saddle. The old lady, small and fragile near Onku's bulk, waved goodbye with a vague, sad smile and lots of homely advice to be careful and wear warm clothes. Onku grinned broadly and waved his arms enthusiastically as we took off.

I looked back at their receding figures, guiltily feeling as though we were abandoning them somehow. Finally, even the tower was just a small smudge in the distance above the tree line.

'They will be fine. They _will._' Aang told me, but it sounded more as if he was trying to convince himself.

We left at dawn for we did not want to risk those wild boys finding us at the orphanage. The one with the eye-patch had threatened to get his own back on me and my brother, and the last thing Grandma Lokai needed was another fight on her hands. So we flew over the thick forest until we arrived to a more sparsely-wooded area where Aang insisted on starting practise right away, and he's been hard at it ever since, stopping only in the evening for a long session of meditation.

He refuses to talk about what Grandma Lokai said about the Air nomads.

'I just didn't expect to hear about my people like that,' he told me 'I didn't see it coming and that place is so full of old memories. I got a bit upset, that's all. There's no need to dwell on it.'

He seems to have shrugged it off, but I'm not quite convinced.

I know Grandma Lokai's story hit deep, and her words about the airbender refugees and their children was unexpected and distressful. The same had happened ( well, not the same – much worse) when, up North, he believed he'd found some Airbenders still alive, hiding in the high mountainous caves, near the Northern Air Temple, only to find out it was Zhao's trap. It was the same kind of trap that had been used to lure the last Air Nomad refugees to their death.

Grandma Lokai's words prodded a wound that can never heal properly.

Or perhaps that's just me... I think certain wounds _shouldn't_ be allowed to heal. They will continue to fester inside of you, whether you like it or not, anyway! I try not to let my past distort my view of the present, but sometimes, it's difficult to separate the two, for both are part of who I am.

Once, in a dark cave on a stormy day, I advised Aang to stop feeling guilty about his past. Perhaps he has. Or perhaps he hasn't entirely. One thing for certain is that his past - a whole century that is no more than a few months ago, for Aang - hasn't really let go.

'_I know thinking about the past doesn't do any good, but sometimes, the past just won't let go,' _he told me at the orphanage. I know he still grieves for his people, though he has rarely said anything after that first cataclysmic display of rage and pain at the Southern Air Temple. But I know he thinks of them often. Sometimes it is just a sad, pensive look he gets when he thinks no-one is looking, sometimes, especially when he finds some artefact or relic belonging to his people, it is a just a nostalgic expression that is so odd to see on a face so young, and, at other times, it is just the hopeful look in his eyes when we are near high mountains such as the Air Nomads used to favour. It is a hopeful look that is quickly quashed. After what happened with Zhao and the cave full of air nomad relics, he has been careful to let any false hope cloud his judgement again.

It's only when the surface of his outward calm is scratched that I see beneath it, just how deep his grief is. It happened at the desecrated Northern Air Temple, where the evidence of the Air benders' dead culture was present not only in the hidden charnel house, but everywhere else in the building. It happened again at the Orphanage when Grandma Lokai's long memory brought to life a poignant last look of his people...

I think the training both distracts his mind from dwelling on the horrors of the past, as well as provides him with something tangible and positive to do. And he's made great strides in both forms of bending – I'm liberal with my praise, and even Toph's nodding her head in approval (that's high praise from her) She rarely ever yells, or infuriates him into better bending – she doesn't need to: he is infuriated enough with himself I think, and in part, he is punishing himself for those 100 years of suffering he may still be subconsciously blaming himself for.

Now that we're at some distance of time and place from the depressing events of the Orphanage, he seems as cheerful and upbeat as ever, but I don't think he's forgotten Grandma Lokai's story, nor his determination to create newer – and better - memories.

**179 th day of our journey. In order to continue training the Avatar without him being recognised or followed, we have kept to uninhabited areas on the outermost part of the forest, even further away from the woods and forests we have spent our last few days in. It is a place of scrubby grassland and steppes on the fringes of the Si Wong Desert, and an excellent place for learning Earthbending, though not so great for Waterbending. **

**But then, truth be told, there is not much else I can teach the Avatar. He has largely mastered the art of waterbending, and now he just needs to keep his skills honed.**

That is true. Aang is a skilled waterbender now, but I've hesitated to tell him there's nothing much else I could teach him because, I suppose, if I do, then there would be no point in us continuing to practise waterbending together...

And I still enjoy that. Even the simple no-nonsense bending forms we practise. We still need to keep our skills honed by constant practise, after all.

Be that as it may, the decision to continue practising waterbending has been taken out of my hands really, for there are no streams or water sources in this arid place.

It reminds me a bit of the Great Divide. It's great for earthbending, but nothing much else. Even the few plants that grow here are straggly and shrivelled by the dry winds that constantly sweep these plains. I don't mind the wind so much as the lack of water. I find myself with a lot of time on my hands and a sharp edge to my mood. I hate being idle, but there's nothing much to do – or even write about. I find myself, like I had at the Great Divide, longing for rain. Rain that I know rarely falls in this bone-dry place.

But I have learnt a lot since the time we crossed the Great Divide. Sokka and I were constantly bickering then, and I think a lot of that was my fault. Subconsciously, I fear being helpless and vulnerable without a source of water. Even now, I constantly feel the urge to check that my water bottle is full. We replenished our water supply from the last stream we came across but I don't know how long it will be before we venture back into relatively inhabited greener areas. Sokka thinks we'd better stick to the desolate fringes of the desert until Toph says Aang has learnt earthbending well, because after all it was only nine days ago that we were chased by those three girls. They, and Zuko, may still be prowling around here looking for us. Sokka, too, is not too happy with this place, There's nothing to hunt, so he spends his time polishing his weapons and brooding over our maps.

I must try and find something to occupy myself with – even if it is mending and patching everyone's' clothes - _anything_ - as long as I can do something useful. Waterbending does not need to be the only thing I can do to help Aang and the others. I need to do this because it will help keep me focussed and my temper in check. I do not want a repeat of what happened in the Great Divide. I've come a long way since then and have learnt (I hope) to recognise _some_ of my faults, if not all of them. Apart from the intrinsic discomfort of the lack of water in itself, one of them is a deep-seated frustration at being, for whatever reason, unable to help, or be useful, to those around me.

Waterbending will have to take a backseat for a while.

Aang seems to have recovered a bit from the ghosts of the past that the visit to the orphanage disturbed. He does not drive himself so punishingly hard now, but his earthbending continues to improve.

Perhaps I can persuade him to take a break, tomorrow.

That's a good idea.

Perhaps we all need a change of scene and something else to focus on, even if it is just for a day or an afternoon. I hope Aang agrees. Perhaps if I say _I _would like a break, it would be easier, and something I can look forward to.

**180 th day of our journey, Noon. I am writing this in a seedy bar at the Misty Palm Oasis. During a break in the Avatar's training, I suggested we visit this place because it sounded refreshing. **

**However, it did not turn out as we expected, and what was once an ice spring and one of nature's wonders, is barely visible at all, and the whole place is run-down and dirty. However, our visit did have its positive side. Sitting at the table next to me is Professor Zei, Head of the Anthropology Department at Ba Sing Se University. He, too, is writing a journal about his travels and has spoken about a wondrous Library brought to the physical world by the knowledge spirit, Wan Shi Tong. It is supposed to be found in the Si Wong desert, and he has been unsuccessfully searching for it for many years. Sokka has suggested we go there to find an accurate map of the Fire Nation, which is essential if we intend to overpower Fire Lord Ozai.**

**Professor Zei kindly showed us a sketch of Wan Shi Tong's Library and will accompany us on our search, early this afternoon. With A Flying Bison, it should not be either difficult or dangerous.**

Well, perhaps it will not be dangerous (though going to the desert is even worse than the arid plains I've been having a hard time adapting to) but I'm sure it will be difficult. Even though the Library is a huge impressive building, it is small compared to the immensity of the desert on Sokka's map.

Today was the first time in ages that Aang concentrated on something other than bending. I had suggested that he takes a break and, as I suspected, he was kinda reluctant at first.

'I need to practise –' he protested.

'Aw, relax, Twinkletoes – you can bend some rocks now. You'd have The Boulder begging for mercy in an Earth Rumble!'

'I don't think so. And I'm still not that good at listening to the earth and stuff...'

'It'll take time to become even half as good as me, but you'll get there one day. Right now, I'm kinda likin' Katara's mini-vacation idea.'

'See Aang?' I continued, persuasively 'Toph said you're a good earthbender. So, how about it?'

Aang's face broke into a broad grin, and I knew I'd won. The appeal of a change of scene to an Air Nomad is irresistible. 'Sounds great. Where shall we go?'

I insisted he pick the first place, since he'd been working hardest. Sokka reluctantly agreed when we explained the idea to him, but he insisted we keep off the beaten track. Aang picked a vast prairie on the edge of the Si Wong desert.

'There's something there that had tourists coming from all over the world to see,' he said enthusiastically.

'I thought I said we should keep off the beaten track!' Sokka scowled.

'Oh, we will Sokka – it's miles from anywhere.'

'What can there be in such an arid place, Aang?' I asked curiously.

'It's a surprise. You'll love them.'

'Hey - it won't be those fish-opotumus things you were dream-riding the other night, will it?' Toph frowned.

I had an idea that it just might be something like that, or worse...something equivalent to riding a desert-version of the Unagi, but Aang wouldn't say anything else. It wasn't very far from where we had set up camp, so we arrived very early in the morning.

I must say when we finally found out what he meant, it was quite a pleasant surprise: Singing Groundhogs!

The holes to their burrows pockmarked the vast, flat plains and apparently, as Toph told me later, there is a whole labyrinth of tunnels and nests beneath the surface of the plain.

I admit I was baffled at first when Aang sat down and quickly fashioned a reed flute from the many thin reeds waving in the prairie wind and then started playing a few simple notes on it. Suddenly, little brown animals popped up from the holes, singing in pitch-perfect response to the notes of the flute. It was amazing! More of them peered out of their burrows as the clear notes of the flute beckoned them out with a musical call.

My brother, however, was unimpressed, and thought it all a waste of time. (He's been obsessed with making plans recently).

'We need some intelligence if we're gonna win this war,' he said.

Trust Sokka to be a wet blanket! Well, I wasn't going to give up on the idea.

'Alright, we'll finish our vacations, and _then_ we'll look for Sokka's intelligence,' I said.

Aang chuckled and went back to his reed flute, calling back the little creatures.

'It's their mating ritual,' he explained 'The female sings and the males try and outdo each other in repeating her song. I guess the best one wins the paw of the lady groundhog. But they respond well to any musical note'.

He played a short melodic tune on the flute and the little creatures mimicked it perfectly. The Groundhogs' mating call is uncannily similar to a human voice, so they sounded as though they were singing. Toph actually clapped as though at a musical festival. Aang's 'orchestra' was truly something else!

In fact, I think Aang is quite good with the flute himself, from the little bit I heard.

I must ask him to play something for us, tonight.

But he had got up and was asking me to choose the next 'mini-vacation'. I looked at the map and my eyes were instantly drawn to the Misty Palms oasis. It was far enough off the beaten track to suit Sokka, and it had ICE! Being an oasis it would have _water_ too. I miss water. Aang said he's been there before and had seen the pristine natural ice spring.

Unfortunately, as I wrote in the visible part of this journal, the place has changed a lot since Aang's last visit here, and our maps are too outdated to reflect that change.

There are no palm-trees anywhere, and little of the ice spring is visible. It lies in the middle of the small settlement of mud huts, the palm- trees that must have once shaded and protected it have long gone, so that the tip of the ice evaporates slowly in the heat of the desert. Vermin-ridden dogs were licking morosely at the ice or at the rubbish littering the place, and the Mosquito-flies and the heat are even worse out here than on the prairie.

Several men in many layers of ragged and stained white clothing looked at us curiously through visored eyes when we arrived. We headed for the cantina, followed by their unseen eyes. They have a predatory look about them that I don't like.

Thankfully, the cantina was cool and dark compared to the eyeball-searing light outside. The iced drinks looked good however so we headed straight for the bar. There are no windows (probably to keep out the harsh glare of the sun) and the place is lighted by small oil lamps.

We met Professor Zei by accident, for he bumped right into Aang and spilt his iced mango drink all over him.

'No worries,' Aang said, unperturbed 'I clean up easy.'

And with a gust of air he airbended the stuff off him and his clothes dry. I glanced around me quickly. The bar was almost deserted, and there were only two customers, who were both in a drunken sleep and noticed nothing. The bartender, as Bartenders everywhere in the world, pretended not to notice anything, but the man who had spilt the Mango juice all over Aang was astounded and recognised the airbending immediately.

_'_You're a living relic!' he exclaimed.

'Thanks. I try,' Aang replied, good-naturedly.

Professor Zei introduced himself hastily as the Head of Anthropology Department at Ba Sing Se University, then immediately proceeded to ask Aang a million questions about the Air Nomads and their temples – some of which even Aang was at a loss how to answer. Professor Zei was ecstatic at the opportunity to meet an Air Nomad – he guessed he was in the presence of the Avatar, but that didn't seem to interest him as much as the anthropological aspect. He even started _measuring_ Aang. I don't know what he expected to find – apart from his tattoos and the fact that he's a shade paler than my brother and I, Aang's a human being just like the rest of us! All the Airbenders were.

Aang submitted to the rather invasive examination with good grace while the rest of us got fruit drinks (which, I must say, despite the shabbiness of the place, were very good).

I get the impression that Professor Zei is extremely intelligent, and goes to great extremes in order to know his subject thoroughly. I'm kind of overawed at having the opportunity to speak with someone so knowledgeable. Ba Sing Se University is the oldest and greatest in the world they say. Professor Zei confirmed it, but when Sokka asked him for a map of the Fire Nation, he didn't have one.

It seems that maps of the Fire Nation Islands are very scarce. He did have one of the Si Wong desert however, marked with the meandering lines of his excursions into it, searching for the mythical Wan Shi Tong Library.

'Wan Shi Tong and his knowledge seekers collected books from all over the world, and put them on display for mankind to read, so that we might better ourselves,' Professor Zwei explained, and suggested that a Fire Nation Map would surely be found at this place.

So Sokka picked the Library as the next mini-vacation.

I must say, the way Zei spoke was inspirational. And his enthusiasm over this legendary Library was infectious. As a learned man and a Professor, he must have spent a lot of time in the large University Libraries at BA Sing Se, but from the way he spoke, even these pale in comparison to the immense treasure of knowledge at the Spirit's Library.

I have always loved stories and scrolls. Back at the South Pole, I used to love reading the scrolls that told the heroic tales of the adventures of the brave Southern Tribe people. There weren't many of them, for after so many successive Fire Nation raids, many of our scrolls had been reduced to charred remains.

One of the earliest memories of my mother was of her carefully copying down some of these blackened, fire-damaged scrolls onto fresh parchment, shaking her head sadly over the irreversible loss of the ancient knowledge of our tribe. Gran Gran had said even fresh parchment was difficult to come by or make, as the strength of our tribe was slowly but surely leached away.

The last few precious scrolls that my mother had preserved with the intention of writing down Southern Water Tribe customs and history, before it was lost forever by the dwindling numbers of our tribe, had been handed over to me before my journey.

I did not write about our tribal customs, but perhaps about something even more amazing: the journey of the Avatar. It has been an adventure really worth writing about!

But it is only now that I have started this long journey that I fully understand my mother's distress over the loss of our Tribe's written memories. At the Southern Air Temple, I have seen the desolateness of a place whose people were wiped out by war, at the Northern Air Temple, I have seen the physical memories of those same dead people forgotten and stamped out of existence by the needs of the living ...

I don't want that to happen to the Southern Water Tribe. Perhaps, when this war is over, I can take up once more my mother's mission to preserve our Tribes' customs. Now that Master Pakku and the others will have re-built our village into something stronger, I can concentrate on recording what's left of it.

Perhaps, in Wan Shi Tong's Library, I may find some Southern Water Tribe scrolls that have escaped the Fire Nation's destruction...

If I have time, that is. The most important thing is to find Sokka's Fire Nation map and anything else that may help Aang in his mission.

I'm getting cautiously excited about this library. Professor Zei has a thick, travel-worn journal in which he writes about his travels. He's been writing copious notes on what Aang told him, and about Appa, while we finish our drinks.

Looking at him, I felt that I had made the right decision when I decided to write our adventures in my mothers' scroll and then in this squat little earth book. In fact, it was he who inspired me to take off the water skin from my back and open the little pouch beneath it, where I'm keeping my little journal now, and start writing about our mini-vacations. They're not tremendously important, but Professor Zwei has given me a few pointers about journal-keeping in a professional way. And one of them is to record accurately even what may not, at the time, seem particularly significant. I usually write the day's events in the evening, when everyone is resting or asleep, but we still have a few hours before we set off to cross the Si Wong desert, for we want to avoid the scorching midday heat. I want to postpone that as much as possible for it's surprisingly pleasant in this dim, cool cantina, sipping our drinks from refreshingly cold cups carved out of the ice spring itself.

I had seen Professor Zei observing me closely as I took out my thick little Earth Book and my pen and ink.

'Ah – so you are keeping a journal, too,' he said.

'It's just a day-by-day account of our travels,' I replied modestly, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious about my plain scribbles. 'It's nothing much really.'

'The greatest explorers and adventurers, both past and present, only kept simple journals if they did at all, and yet their exploits have become the stuff of legends,' Zei told me seriously 'You see – sometimes the literary merit is in the recording of the event itself, not in the choice of words, and you, Katara, are recording an event such as the world hasn't seen in a long time. Your work is about a legend, and will become a greater legend...'

I hadn't really thought of it like that before.

'The legend of Aang...' I murmured, looking at my unassuming but sturdy little earth book.

Of course I intended to preserve the story of the Avatar's journey in it but I had never thought of it becoming 'legendary'. I hadn't even thought about what to _do_ with it, other than keep it as a means of preserving that which during these turbulent times of war could easily be lost.

I looked up at professor Zei in wonder. I guess he's right. Aang is his own legend.

It puts a different perspective on things... and it certainly makes me feel as though I have to put a lot more effort into writing what had initially seemed something much smaller in scale.

'Make sure you ask Aang all about his people,' Zei was saying 'And record what he tells you faithfully. There were so many times, when I was on excavations of lost civilisations, that I dearly wished someone had taken the trouble to write about day-to-day life, and that writing had been preserved...it would unravel so many mysteries about lost civilisations. The Air Nomads being one of them, now. Perhaps I will find the answer to many of my questions in Wan Shi Tons Library. Hey - !' Professor Zei exclaimed suddenly, leaning over, 'Where d'you get that journal from? I know that symbol!'

Professor Zei bent over to examine the small, brown leather book I had opened. On the first page was the squat little symbol that represented 'Earth'.

'Aang found it among the wreckage of Admiral Zhao's fleet at the North Pole. We couldn't find its owner, so I started using it as a journal. Do you know who it belongs to?'

Professor Zei shook his head. 'No, but I know that symbol: it is the sign of the most famous bookbinder in Ba Sing Se. His name is Kun Lei-Han and he and his family, have for generations – centuries in fact - made the famous Lei- Han books and scrolls for the Royal Family and for the noblemen and noblewomen of Ba Sing Se. We have quite a few examples of his work, and that of his ancestors, at Ba Sing Se University.'

'Really? I didn't know that. No wonder it's such good quality. Its pages are waxen – I thought maybe it was made for a mariner.'

Professor Zei reached over and opened my journal, fingering its strange, waxy pages.

'You are right. This is an ancient technique used by book-binders. Though I do not profess to know all their secrets, I believe they use the rare wax to produce this waterproof effect. I have seen an old scroll in Ba Sing Se museum, that used to belong to a famous Earth Kingdom mariner treated in the same way, and it has survived, with its writing untouched, for 500 years.'

'Wow!'

'This little journal will hopefully survive just as long, Katara,' he said, as he handed me back my journal 'You're doing a good job, but I suggest you do not space your journal entries so far apart. It wastes space.'

'Uh... I...um, yes. You're right,' I stammered.

I hoped he wouldn't ask why the visible parts of the journal are separated by seemingly empty spaces. He gave me many helpful tips on recording the Avatar's history, but I have moved away from his table now, because he might just notice that I'm writing in water, and what are apparently black spaces in the little Earth Book, are actually full of invisible words.

I don't think he'd approve of the latter, because they do not strictly stick to the recording of events a great and famous explorer should be writing down.

But then, I guess, I'm only a girl...


	38. Chapter 38

**180 th day of our journey. Nightime. A terrible thing has happened. We have lost Appa, the Avatar's bison, and are now stranded in the Si Wong desert. **

**We had found Wan Shi Tong's Library, which had been buried in the sand by the Spirit. Wan Shi Tong gave us leave to peruse his library, and there we found more than the map Sokka wanted: we found crucial information on how the Fire Nation can be defeated!**

**This knowledge is of the utmost importance, and must reach the Earth King in Ba Sing Se as soon as possible: an eclipse of the sun is on its way, on the first day of the eighth month, and during this time Firebenders will lose their Firebending skills, thus rendering the Fire Nation vulnerable to attack.**

**Obtaining this information has cost us dearly. Wan Shi Ton has re-buried his library, furious that we have used its knowledge for warfare. Professor Zei refused to leave the library, and has been buried with it.**

**We barely made it out of the sinking library, but as soon as we were out of it we realised that Sandbenders had kidnapped Appa.**

**The parched heat of the desert is incredibly draining, and morale is getting lower. The loss of his Flying Bison has affected the Avatar deeply, and not only because Appa was our means of escaping the desert, but also because there is a special bond between the two that may be difficult for others to understand ...**

I had seen them circling Appa predatorily at the Misty Palms Oasis – those people dressed in layers of white clothing. Professor Zei had said they were Sandbenders, a hardy, well-acclimatised people who roamed the desert, scavenging whatever they could for a living.

They scavenged Appa.

Aang is distraught and completely beside himself at being separated from Appa. I have never seen him like this before.

It had started so promisingly yesterday afternoon, because, to my surprise, we actually found the Library. It took a long time and flying in the dry, superheated air of the desert was definitely something that I did not really enjoy. It did not bother Professor Zei, however, who is better acclimatised to the desert and had eyes only for Appa: he was ecstatic at the opportunity to fly on a Air Nomad's Bison.

It was Sokka who spotted the Library through his spyglass, even though only the topmost spire of it was visible – it stuck out of the sand dunes like some weird tower.

Proportionate to its size as depicted in Professor Zei's sketch, the building was _huge_. Toph confirmed it was, and that although buried beneath the sand, it was intact. A sleek fox holding a scroll in its mouth proceeded to show us the way in –through an elaborately carved window at the top of the spire.

Toph had no use for libraries, and Appa was scared of being underground, so they remained outside.

Perhaps, had they both come to the Library with us, none of this would have happened.

Or perhaps, without Toph on the outside, slowing down the sinking of the Library, we would have all perished... I just don't know.

We used ropes to climb up to the window at the top of the tower. When I looked inside it was really awesome. We were staring down at a huge space that sank down into the far distance. Our bird's eye view revealed a cavernous well beneath the spire with level upon level of library floors, disappearing into the distant dimness below – we couldn't even see where it ended, and it was richly decorated with symbols of the Knowledge Spirit's animal form, an owl. Professor Zei could barely contain his excitement, and when Sokka tied the rope securely to the window and threw the rope into the void, he was the first to climb down, followed by Sokka and Aang. I brought up the rear, hanging on to the rope for dear life, for if I lost my hold on it, I would plunge down I don't know how many storeys below. I could hear Professor Zei's voice echoing in the vast space.

'Look at those beautiful buttresses!' he exclaimed.

The two knuckleheads on the rope below me started chuckling at the butt joke.

**'**What's funny?' Professor Zei asked in bafflement.

'Nothing,' Aang answered, innocently 'We just like architecture.'

We were so light-hearted then... I can't believe how things changed so drastically in the space of just a few hours...

Wan Shi Tong found us almost immediately. The Spirit towered over us, a large, majestic black-feathered owl with a white face and large, intelligent, unblinking eyes. He did not like humans, saying they were always bent on destroying one another. He mentioned a Firebender who had done just that not so long ago...

I suppose he had a point, but then, in spite of all his incredible knowledge, I don't think the Knowledge Spirit understands or empathises with people who have suffered so much at Fire Nation hands, and that sometimes, it takes destruction to stop an even bigger destruction...

Thankfully, we found that having the Avatar with us made a difference. Aang gallantly vouched for us, and Wan Shi Tong took his word that we were not there to seek knowledge for destructive purposes. He did not see through Aang's blatant lie, and said we could use the library on condition we contributed something.

Professor Zei offered a book and I offered my Waterbending Scroll - the one I took from the pirates. I had nothing else (I had my little Earth book in the pouch beneath my water skin of course, but I wasn't about to relinquish _that_!). I had the Waterbending Scroll on me because I had been showing it to Professor Zei on our way here. It was a scroll I had hoped would one day lay in a Water Tribe library where it belonged, but I suppose a Spirit Library is a good place for it too. It will be preserved forever, though it's highly doubtful how many other Water Benders will see it. But I was willing to sacrifice it in order to get in – after all, I know all the bending forms in it. Aang donated his 'wanted' poster that he had taken from Xin Fu at the Earth Rumble arena. (I didn't know he was still carrying that around!). Wan Shi Tong wasn't very impressed, but took it any way. After all, there can't have been many Avatars who had 'wanted' posters of themselves plastered all over the Earth Kingdom and beyond! Sokka offered a string tied in a knot...

However, Won Shi Tong let us through. We didn't know where to start at first... the Library was huge ...books and scrolls and pictorial representations in thin clay tablets...there was anything and everything that the written word or painted images could possibly convey, from every corner of the world, and from every age since the dawn of mankind. There was mile upon mile of shelving that stretched as far as the eye could see on all the many levels of the library. Shelves that reached up to the high ceiling on every level. On prominent display beneath sealed glass cabinets, were the rarest or most ancient scrolls and books. The sheer number of books was incalculable. Professor Zei gave us a couple of hints about where maps or atlases could be located, then started running about from the myriad shelves eagerly pulling out scrolls and books.

'The library's shelving system is quite unique,' he said, as he sat down to look at some of the books he pulled out, 'It's nothing like the Library at Ba Sing Se University. The Knowledge Spirit has his own way of doing things, but the little descriptive banners on each shelve should help you.'

There were several sections on the outer more prominent part of the Library that looked promising. Sokka was helping himself to scrolls marked as 'maps' but I saw a little red banner with the word 'Avatar' written on it. That looked promising.

I pulled out a book at random. It was a very thick tome on the life history of Avatar Kyoshi. It went into great detail on the military campaigns of Chin the Great, and how he ruled the Earth Kingdom. It was not what I wanted to read about.

I pulled out another from a different shelf. It was about an Avatar from the Fire nation, but not Roku, an earlier one. That would have been so interesting to read. But it was also very, very, old. I needed something more recent ….or else something that explained more about being an Avatar. Aang had said once, at Sen Lin village, that he had no-one to teach him how to be an Avatar. Roku's spirit had helped him since then, but perhaps these accounts of past Avatar's lives would shed some light on how Aang is supposed to do stuff, too.

I pulled out another book. It was about the life of an Avatar who was an air bender, like Aang. Her name was Yangchen. She was, according to her biographer, an extremely wise and knowledgeable Avatar. That was interesting - not only because she was the last Air Bender Avatar before Aang, but also because there were many excerpts of her sayings and writings in this book_. _

'_Slender in build, and small in stature, Avatar Yangchen looks deceptively delicate. When she walks, her feet barely leave an imprint on the grass, for she seems light as a feather and equally insubstantial, _the author of book wrote _But in her eyes there is an indomitable spirit and courage, as well as infinite wisdom. And a keen sense of duty that transcends all other aspects. And delicate she is not, for she has strength beyond imagining. Anyone watching her airbending a hurricane out of clear blue skies will know what I mean!'_

I glanced over at Aang who was sitting cross-legged reading a manuscript with many drawings in it. Some aspects of Yangchen reminded me of the young airbender, though he has never produced a hurricane yet.

'_Avatar Yangchen wrote many books and scrolls on the ways of the world. They are filled with a deep understanding of human beings. She wrote them in the hope that they will serve to educate people and help the four nations live in harmony She was left-handed, but her script was beautiful, and a work of art...' _I smiled at that. Aang's wasn't. _'For some reason, she destroyed many of the treatises she had written before she died. One of them, which I had an opportunity to see before she destroyed it, was a treatise on the strengths and weaknesses of Avatars, especially in the Avatar State. The Avatar state is a defence mechanism, designed to empower the Avatar with the skills and knowledge of all the past Avatars; a combination of all past lives, focusing their energy through her body. In this state, the Avatar is at her most powerful, but also at her most vulnerable, for if killed in the Avatar state, the reincarnation cycle will be broken and the Avatar will cease to exist'._

I looked up from the book, worried. Did Aang know about this? This was bad news.

I glanced over at the young airbender, who started enthusiastically showing us pictures of fantastic mythological creatures.

'Aang, did you know in a past life, you were left-handed?' I started, not knowing quite how to break the news to him.

'I always knew I was special,' he said light-heartedly, but then his attention was drawn to where Sokka was lifting the glass off one of the displays. He was walking off with what he had pulled from under the glass.

'Sokka, where are you going?' Aang asked.

Sokka had pulled out a charred parchment with a date and a short sentence "_The 9th day of the 7th month of the Cultivate Rule Dragon Year was the darkest day in Fire Nation history_".

My brother wanted to find out what happened on the Fire Nations' darkest day. With the help of Zei, who had figured out the Library's layout quicker than we did, we found a Hall that led to one of the four corners of the library, at the end of which was the Fire Nation symbol. Within would be books and scrolls pertaining exclusively to that Nation.

At the back of my mind, I was already thinking about a quick trip to find the corresponding hall leading to the Water Tribe section of the library – perhaps I would find copies of those scrolls and books about my people's culture and history that had been destroyed at the South Pole, when suddenly, everything flew out of my head as we entered the large chamber with the Fire Nation symbol.

It was burnt - all of it! Firebenders had been here before like Wan Shi Tong had said. No wonder he held a grudge against humans! But I wonder why, in his infinite knowledge, he can't or doesn't want to, distinguish between Fire Nation aggression and the rest of the human beings they oppress...

We thought the destruction meant the end of our search but then, strangely enough, we found help from an unlikely source – or perhaps, it _was_ a likely source: the little fox spirit showed us the way to a Planetarium – an immense and awesome chamber with the heavens that moved in accordance with the huge mechanical dial and calendar set in the middle of the room. When Sokka put in the date on the burnt parchment, we found out it denoted a solar eclipse – literally '_the darkest day!'_

Like Waterbenders loose their power in a lunar eclipse, the same could be said for the Fire benders . We were all very excited and thinking what a good thing it was to have come here -but that's when things rapidly started going downhill.

Wan Shi Tong heard Sokka whooping about how the Fire Lord is going down and he found us. He was furious. He didn't want to hear any explanations - he opened his wings and started to beat them. They were owl wings and thus completely silent, but seconds later, there was a creaking, crashing noise as the whole library suddenly started to shake and vibrate. Wan Shi Tong was sinking it down into the desert sands, and taking it back to the spirit world! Not only that, he took on a terrible, black-feathered dragon-like form and started chasing us!

We ran off, for Wan Shi Tong's wrath was terrible, but Sokka insisted on going back to the planetarium with Aang to find out the date of the next eclipse!

Perhaps, if he hadn't, we would have made it to the surface sooner...perhaps we would have been on time to save Appa, and then we wouldn't be lying here in this vast immense emptiness of the desert...

Of course, Sokka was right when he said it was our only chance of knowing when the next Solar Eclipse was due, but I didn't have a chance to protest, for they were already on their way back to the Planetarium, and Wan Shi Tong was after us, intent on killing us! I just grabbed Momo and ran! At a certain point, I lost professor Zei, but the Knowledge Spirit seemed to hone in on me even when I hid behind the bookshelves. Perhaps he could sense my presence somehow ... he _is_ a spirit after all. For a moment, I lost my orientation in such a confusing sameness of shelves upon shelves of books, but finally in the distance, I recognised the main well beneath the domed spire where our rope hung and made a dash for it.

I almost made it on time but at the last minute, Wan Shi Tong flew silently on his owl wings right down on the bridge that led to the rope. I turned to face him, knowing I stood no chance of climbing the rope. He mocked me, saying he knew all Waterbending moves, but then Sokka, dropping down from where he had been clinging to Aang's glider, knocked him out with one of his own books! We ran for the rope. Sokka glimpsed Professor Zei between the bookshelves but he wouldn't come – the lure of the books and his life's ambition of finding this place were too hard for him to resist.

'Just go!' I shouted to Sokka.

We had lost enough time, and the Library was sinking fast. Zei was lost. Or else he might just be granted his heart's desire and have all eternity to read in the spirit world!

Unfortunately, Wan Shi Tong had recovered, and, grabbing hold of our rope, the spirit started shaking it, so that we were flung about like puppets. Suddenly, the rope broke. Luckily, Aang was still on his glider and as he dove down towards us, I grabbed on to the tail end of it and Sokka grabbed on to me. That's how we made it out of the sinking spire. Sokka's weight made me lose my grip on the glider when we were several feet in the air, so we landed hard, but the soft sand broke our fall.

I remember how elated I felt as seconds later, the spire of the Library disappeared beneath the sand, throwing Toph backwards. We were out of that place all in one piece and with valuable information that could lead to the Fire Nation's defeat!

In those first few seconds I didn't realise just how bad things were.

Just how bad things _still are_!

I think the first indication that something was wrong was when I saw Toph sitting dejectedly in the sand, her head buried in her hands. Not the reaction I expected.

But Aang had realised what was wrong immediately.

How could he not?

The sand dunes stretched for miles upon miles in every direction, the pitiless sun illuminating in harsh brightness every single contour of the dunes in their repeated sameness all around us: there was only one thing was glaringly missing.

'Where's Appa?' he asked tremulously, as though he knew the answer already.

Toph just shook her head and remained uncharacteristically silent.

In spite of the afternoon heat, I could feel the cold hand of a nameless dread clutch at my heart. There was no way we couldn't see a ten-ton bison in this open space unless...

...unless he was gone.

_Appa was_ _gone!_

I saw Aang freeze in horror and a tear slid down his cheek as the truth sunk in.

'Sandbenders...lots of them,' Toph stood up and spoke finally, her voice a forlorn whisper 'They took Appa.'

We fanned out from the depression in the sand where the library spire had disappeared, scanning the orange, sandy horizon. There were some scuffle marks in the sand, perhaps some 20 yards away, but even as we stood there, a stiff breeze had come up and was already blowing sand across it, obliterating everything.

'How could you let them take Appa?!' I heard Aang shout at Toph 'Why didn't you stop them?!'

'I couldn't! The library was sinking!' Toph protested 'You guys were still inside and –'

'You could have come to get us!' Aang yelled, 'I could have saved him!'

'I can hardly feel any vibrations out here. The sandbenders snuck upon me, and there wasn't time for –'

But Aang cut right across her words, his features twisted in anger 'You just didn't care! You never liked Appa! You wanted him gone!'

I ran up to him quickly and put a calming hand on his shoulder. I knew he was under shock and distraught at Appa's loss, but that was a bit too much.

'Aang, stop it! You know Toph did all she could. She saved our lives!' I felt him tense beneath my hand, but his face remained rigid and white with shock and anger.

'Who's going to save our lives now?' I heard my brother say from the rim of the crater-like depression caused by the Library's sinking. 'We'll never make it out of here!'

I turned towards Sokka and slowly it dawned on me that he was right. This could be the loss not only of Appa, but the rest of us, too.

'That's all any of you guys care about: _yourselves_!' Aang shouted angrily as he stalked off towards the edge of the sand dune, 'You don't care whether Appa is okay or not!'

I could feel the familiar stirring of temper at his unreasonable words. I took a deep breath and quickly quashed my rising irritation, remembering I had promised myself to try and be equable, even in this arid desert. And now I needed every shred of patience I could find in the face of this new crisis.

'We're all concerned,' I told Aang calmly, trying to appeal to his better nature, 'but we can't afford to be fighting now.'

However, Aang's better nature seemed to have completely deserted him. The look on his face was almost frightening as he grabbed his staff and looked across the desert.

'I'm going after Appa,' he said, as he took off in a whirlwind of sand.

I ran after him, the sand particles stinging my face and arms, but he was gone. I looked up at the sky, squinting against the sun's burning light. Aang was soon a tiny speck in the distance.

There was nothing for it. I didn't want us to get separated, but at least he was on his glider and if there was one good thing about this vast, featureless expanse, it was that he could easily spot us again.

I knew he would come back. I just didn't know what he would happen if he actually _did_ find the sandbenders and Appa. In the temper he was in, I figured that he'd probably attack them without stopping to think. Toph had said there were many of them, and they were in _their_ natural element and on _their_ home ground...

I glanced back at the other two. Toph was still standing forlornly on the rim of the crater-like depression, looking lost and miserable, and Sokka was trying to make out where we had last seen the disturbed sand that marked Appa's kidnapping.

With the stiff breeze that was now sweeping the desert it was all gone, wiped out completely by the shifting, wind-blown sand. But I knew Aang had taken that general westerly direction.

'We'd better start walking,' I told the other two. 'We're the only people who know about the solar eclipse. We have to get that information to Ba Sing Se'.

I spoke briskly and confidently, just as though Ba Sing Se was round the next sand dune. It was ridiculous, of course, but at least it had a semblance of a plan with an end in sight. Perhaps Aang would find Appa ... Shading my eyes against the sun, I looked out over the vast expanse of shifting desert sand. Any tracks were invisible now.

'How long had the sandbenders been here before we came out?' I asked Toph.

'I dunno. They disappeared with Appa about a quarter of an hour before you guys appeared. Not much, but enough to put some distance behind them, especially if they were using some transportation of sorts. They probably were, but I don't know what... everything looked so fuzzy...' there was a pleading note in her voice, and she turned to face Sokka who had just come up to us, thinking he was me.

When I spoke again, she realised her mistake and turned immediately towards me: 'It's okay, Toph. I know you did the right thing when you chose to save us– I would have done the same. Aang's upset because Appa's not just a means of transport for him...'

'You're telling _me_! He bit my head off when I accused Appa of shedding, remember?'

'And you were right about the shedding - it's just we were all a bit sleep-deprived then, and not thinking straight.,' I looked up at the searing afternoon sun 'This is worse, though.'

'I'll say it's worse! How're we gonna get out of here unless Aang finds Appa?' Sokka grumbled.

'I know it's asking a lot, Sokka, but could you please be a bit more sensitive about Appa?' I said crossly 'He's not a dumb and expendable beast of burden for Aang ... or even for me, for that matter, but for Aang especially...'

'I like Appa,' my brother protested 'but Appa's a big bison, he can take care of himself. I don't see why Aang's making such a fuss –'

'That's because you were too busy sucking mango-juice back at the Misty Palms to hear what Professor Zei was saying about the Sandbenders!' I retorted sharply, 'They're scavengers mostly, but they've been known to kill weary travellers and take their possessions, if they can get away with it. Professor Zei said the desert is littered with the bones of men and animals that did not make it across the desert, and he insisted that half of them were not killed by the desert, but by the Sandbenders. They're ruthless, and Aang knows it. Perhaps he's worried whether Appa's been kidnapped to be sold as a dead trophy by the Sandbenders...'

There was a stunned silence following my words.

'Not – not Appa!' my brother stuttered 'I'm sure he'll be worth more _alive_...'

'Unless he tries to escape or becomes difficult to handle, in which case...' I let my words hang in dire warning in the hot desert wind and turned to look ahead, leaving each to his or her thoughts.

The torrid sun was beating down relentlessly on our heads and I did not really want to give voice to my fears again. I wanted to keep our spirits up, but I also had to explain, in part at least, Aang's unreasonable outburst.

There was more to it than that, of course.

There was the close bond between Aang and Appa that even _I_ could not really fully understand. I had come to realise this slowly over the months as I observed them together, but only now did it hit home exactly how close they were. Appa and Aang were connected by more than those symbolic arrow tattoos - I remember how, back in the Foggy Swamp, Aang had used this connection to find where Appa was. But the Foggy Swamp and the Banyan Grove Tree were far away, and as different as night and day from this lifeless sea of dunes. Aang had to rely on his sight to find Appa, and even with such a short head start, those Sandbenders could be anywhere - those sandskiffs were pretty fast and Aang's glider had a limited range.

We walked for two hours in silence, the burning sun scorching our faces. It was difficult to think clearly, and my befuddled, heat-drugged brain seemed to be seeing things: the dunes seemed to sway and move in the shimmering air. My brother said it was just an illusion brought on by the super-heated air.

We walked in single file, for Toph found it easier to 'see' where we were moving like this, but even so, I kept glancing back in case she strayed in a different direction. I didn't want any more of us separating. Thankfully, the wind had died down then, for the abrasive, stinging sand-particles hitting our sun-burnt skin was exquisitely painful, and I didn't have any spare water for healing. Our feet sunk deep into the shifting sands, and step after plodding step, we walked in what I fervently hoped was the direction Aang had taken, and the direction Appa had been taken, too. It was a westward direction and if I remembered correctly, Sokka had said the Library was in the North-western part of the desert, thus, heading West, we would be going towards the centre of the desert.

We were all sweating freely and I knew that dehydration would soon set in. Every so often I scoured the skies, squinting against the blinding sun, hoping to see Aang's orange glider, but I could see nothing but cloudless, bright blue skies.

Judging by the sun's slow progress, it was an hour later that Toph begged me for some water. I bended a bit out of my water-skin for them – we had to be careful with it now. Aang was still nowhere in sight, and he'd need water too.

I refrained from drinking. I think I can hold out much longer.

Unfortunately, my brother isn't so good with enduring lack of food or water, and when he saw a lone cactus tree sticking out of the sand, he took his own amateur desert-survival advice, and drank its juice before I could stop him.

Toph was bewildered by the sudden break in our single file, so I grabbed her hand and dragged her to the cactus bush where now Momo, too, was helping himself.

'There's water trapped inside these!' Sokka said, holding up a cut piece of cactus.

There did, indeed, seem to be what looked like clear, refreshing water in it. For a moment, I hesitated. The thirst I was adamant I was not feeling, suddenly made me realise just how parched I was. But a deep-seated feeling that this was too good to be true held me back. Sokka and I are Water Tribe: we have no idea how to survive in this kind of desert environment. Back at the South Pole, we knew not to drink from the snow beneath which the purple Crustose Lichen grew, or mistake the poisonous, oval, Sea Grass rhizomes for the edible Sea Prune, but here we were strangers. Aang, who might have known more about the desert, was not with us...

It was just as well that I didn't drink, for next instant, Sokka's pupils dilated, he started shaking uncontrollably and broke into a sweat (or rather, sweated more profusely than he had been doing).

**'**Drink cactus juice,' he said in a weird voice, 'It'll quench ya! Nothing's quenchier. It's the quenchiest!'

Momo started flying in tight circles above our heads, before dive-bombing straight into the sand.

Alarmed, I dumped the cactus and its juice straight into the sand and observed my brother closely as he remarked that Toph was on fire.

A _poisoning_ out here in the middle of the desert! As though things weren't bad enough! But Sokka's symptoms seemed similar to nothing more serious than drunkenness: perhaps something inside that Cactus had fermented... His dilated pupils and the hallucinatory aspect of his symptoms however, told me there was some other plant alkaloid at work too. I took a deep breath and picked up Momo, who was stunned by his fall.

Assuming whatever he drank did not permanently harm him; Sokka was completely out of it now.

I could only hope the effect was temporary.

'Come on, we need to find Aang,' I said, leading Toph away.

I had to keep my hold on her, because with Sokka weaving in and out of the single file we were supposed to be keeping to, it wasn't easy for her to 'see' where both of us were. This was further complicated when Sokka, who seemed to think we were in the middle of the ocean, kept trying to swim in the sand.

Several times, I had to dig him out of where he buried himself, in his attempts to 'swim'.

'Why does the ocean taste so gritty today?' he asked, confusedly, spitting out sand 'And it looks orange...'

His symptoms seemed to be getting worse, not better.

I gritted my teeth and ploughed onwards, feeling Toph progressively drag her feet with weariness, until I was practically pulling her along. She said nothing much, but I saw her a few times lift her head up, as though listening for a sound from the skies, her sunburnt face set in rigid lines.

She, too, was waiting to hear Aang return.

'He'll come back, you'll see,' I told her, speaking with a confidence I wanted to believe I felt.

Toph's cloudy, sightless eyes turned towards me.

'I hate this sand! If it was rock, I could see – I could probably even see where they've taken Appa, because nothing much moves in a desert, and Appa's so big...' she hung her head morosely 'But I'm lost here...'

Toph was feeling lost and, I suspect, even guilty that Appa's kidnapping had driven Aang away, even though it wasn't her fault. I knew better than to say anything though. She likes to appear tougher than she is and any platitudes would probably only goad her to anger. Unlike me, she is not completely out of her element here, for sand is earth, of sorts, but I think she is feeling her blindness almost as keenly as when in water, and her bending here is nowhere as great as it should be.

I glanced over at Sokka, but he was laughing at Momo, who was circling him like a crazed bee-wasp again. The little Lemur circled so tight that his long tail wound around Sokka's neck, effectively bringing him to a halt.

'We're all a bit lost here, Toph,' I said as I pulled her determinedly onwards. 'But we'll get through.'

Just then we were blasted by a strong gust of hot wind. I looked behind us and in the far distance, a huge mushroom-shaped dust-cloud rose silently many hundreds of feet in the air, as though somebody had exploded a large barrelful of Blasting Jelly in the sand. Yet there was no accompanying sound of explosion – just the silent, orange cloud bellowing fiercely upwards, tons of sand shooting up from the dunes and then expanding high in the sky into a rolling, heaving overhang.

Sokka waved delightedly at the mushroom, and Momo chittered excitedly, his normally green eyes appearing larger and darker with his pupils dilated by the cactus juice. My mind flittered uneasily to the many possible and worrying explanations ... nothing moved air currents like that except airbending. Could it be Aang, or Appa? Or could it be, perhaps, an example of Sandbending ? I had never seen sandbending up close, and I had no idea what powers Sandbenders had, and how, or if, they could raise mushroom clouds like that.

At what or at whom, the cloud was directed ...?

'Let's just keep moving,' I said, 'I hope Aang's okay... '

The cloud was very far away and if there were Sandbenders at the bottom of it, I didn't think we stood a chance of winning a fight against them in our current condition. It was all I could do to keep us together until Aang came back, so I turned my back on the dust cloud and pulled Toph onwards.

The sun continued in its painfully slow but burning arch across the sky, burning ever lower and with less fury. Sokka still had the unnatural energy bequeathed by the cactus juice, and Momo kept trying to fly off in all the wrong directions. I told Sokka to keep a firm hold on him at all times – after a few inane comments, he got my meaning and clung on tightly to Momo's tail. As for Toph, however, she was getting increasingly tired – I don't think she has ever walked so far and in such conditions.

And neither have I, though perhaps I am slightly more used to walking long distances and pushing myself, if I have to.

Toph seemed barely able to stand and I think she was just concentrating all her energies to putting one foot ahead of the other in what must appear to her a vast, shapeless, dark world. She was as helpless as I had never seen her before, despite her blindness, and though I would never tell her so...it showed. Sokka was no help either– usually he always comes up with some idea or plan, but now he just smiling blandly at nothing in particular.

And Aang was gone where I could not see him.

It felt very lonely.

I felt alone in this vast, empty desert... this dry, featureless land that seemed to leach the very life force out of me. My lips were cracked and parched, I could even _taste_ the grittiness of the sand, and my face was sunburnt as it had never been before...

But I wasn't alone.

Others depended on me, for they were helpless now. So I forced myself onwards, not even having the strength to pull Toph along. I led them along the crest of the largest sand-dunes I could find, for that way, at least, I could see better from the higher vantage point. Not that was anything much to see beyond the endless ripples of the shifting dunes. Sometimes I squinted up at the sky through inflamed eyes, hoping to see one orange speck unlike any other against the darkening blue of the sky, but I saw nothing.

I think I may have lost my sense of direction after a while, for I vaguely realised the setting sun was to my right, which meant we were heading South, but the dunes were very high and in our state, we could only take the easiest path: along their crest. The searing heat had lessened somewhat, and on either side of us, the desert stretched to infinity, the blazing colours of the setting sun tiger-striping the landscape in an undulating orange-and-black pattern.

I don't know what made me look up – I think a fleeting shadow passed overhead, but next instant, I saw Aang land on his glider a few yards away in a cloud of dust and sand.

Relief flooded through me, and I ran up to him. But he remained crouched where he had landed, head bent. I knew he hadn't found Appa, but at that moment, I was just happy to see he was safe and sound.

'I'm sorry, Aang. I know it's hard for you right now,' I said, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder, 'but we need to focus on getting out of here'.

But Aang was far more depressed than I thought. He pulled himself away from my hand.

'What's the difference?' he mumbled in a low voice, 'We won't survive without Appa. We all know it.'

I was really taken aback at his words. I had hoped he would help me get the other two out of this mess, but he had come back so defeated, so sad and hopeless... I had never seen him like this. He had even given up _on life itself_!

I looked round at Toph, but she was swaying as she stood.

'As far as I can feel, we're trapped in a giant bowl of sand pudding' she said, 'I got nothin'.'

I turned to my brother who had thrown himself on the sand, smiling up at the sky: 'Sokka? Any ideas how to find Ba-Sing-Se?'

At this point, I didn't even _care_ where we went, as long as we got out of the desert, but I hoped the mention of the city would ring a bell somewhere in Sokka's addled brain – it had been _his_ plan after all.

_'_Why don't we ask the circle birds?' came the answer.

He pointed upwards and I saw, silhouetted against the darkening sky, several Buzzard-wasps silently circling above us. Carrion-eaters! I had heard of them, and Professor Zei, when describing his own adventures in the desert, had added more graphic descriptions of their role in the desert: Sometimes, if their prey was moribund, they did not wait for death...

I looked round at the others - Aang was still hunched over, numb and uncaring; Toph staggered slightly with weariness, and Sokka was actually giggling at the carrion-eaters. Something deep inside me slowly twisted into a ball of cold anger.

Well, the carrion eaters had made a huge mistake! I wasn't going to let them get us! I was more alone than before now, for Aang was too dejected to be of any help, and the other two were incapacitated. But we hadn't come so far to give in now! I felt the tight ball of anger inside me coalesce into a core of sheer determination. If the others couldn't help themselves, then it was going to be up to me.

Perhaps it was my usual angry response to life's unfair challenges; perhaps it was the sight of the avaricious Buzzard-wasps; perhaps it was seeing everyone so helpless...I don't know... but I felt goaded to prove Aang wrong! We weren't going to die here. I was filled with renewed determination and even some energy – a bit like that mysterious reserve of energy that gives you the edge in a crisis situation like battle, and your body is pushed to limits you would never imagine it can endure...

'We're getting out of this desert, and we're going to do it together! Aang, get up!' I ordered sharply, underlining my words by grabbing his staff and tugging him to a standing position.

'Everybody hold hands,' I ordered, glaring at them till they did what I told them to. 'We can do this. We _have_ to.'

Nobody protested, but they all fell in line. Aang sullenly grabbed Toph's proffered hand, and she fumbled around till she found Sokka's, who had Momo by the tail.

'We'll move along the length of this dune, then we'll turn north', I said, pulling at Aang's staff. 'Ba Sing Se is in that direction.'

We proceeded in silence, for we needed to keep all our energy for walking the treacherously-shifting, sandy peak. I don't think Aang had anything to say anyway – he was lost in dark thoughts of his own, though he never once let go of Toph. She was the weakest of us without earthbending, for her strides were the shortest and she was unused to walking for so long. She said nothing but let Aang half-drag her along the sandy crest without protest. Sokka and Momo were the only two who remained obliviously happy.

The Buzzard-wasps soon stopped circling us, although it was more than an hour later that they finally stopped following us. I don't think they're nocturnal. The first stars were already coming out, when we finally arrived at the end of the large dune we had been walking along. We let go of each other and slid or stumbled down the slope of the dune, after which I led them in what I hoped was a northerly direction.

It was harder this way – going up and down slopes at an angle rather than along their crest is tough, but there was no other way. However, I could see they had all arrived at the end of their strength, so I called a stop for the night just as we reached the top of a large sand dune.

They have practically fallen asleep where they stood, collapsing in a tired heap in the sand. Sokka seems to be getting over the effects of the cactus juice, though his pupils still seem a bit dilated - its hard to tell when you're judging someone's eyes by starlight, - and he still seems to overreact to everything. Like when I asked for the maps he had stolen from Wan Shi Tong's Library. It was so stupid of me – I should have thought about this earlier: Sokka had managed to pilfer some really useful scrolls from the Library. One of them is an Astrological Map of the heavens. I told them we will travel by night and rest during the worst of the heat of the day.

That means we will have to start again in a few hours.

The desert is silent.

There are no birds or bugs or animals to disturb its silence with their calls, or rustling and scurrying. The snowy tundra is a bit like that in the middle of winter, but back at my village, there is always the soothing sound of the ocean.

Here, there is nothing, and the thoughts in one's head sound all the louder. But I have channelled those thoughts to studying the Star Chart. And the rest of the time writing this.

I have persisted in writing in this little earth book for a reason:

We have just used up the last of the water in my water skin. Without water, our days in the desert, even if we travel at night, are numbered.

The hard core of resolve within me is still very strong. It is as though I am somehow disassociated from my body, and I can ignore the hardships and pain it is suffering. It has come to the point where even tiredness and sleep-deprivation do not affect me.

And I have stayed awake to write this because if this Earth Book is found, when I am past speaking for myself, then, at least, I may hope that the important information I have recorded in the visible part of my journal may somehow still arrive to Ba Sing Se. Aang is the Avatar – I hope he can somehow escape death in this arid desert. The Avatar State saved him once from drowning in a cold, storm-tossed ocean, and it may, once again, save him from burning to death in this parched desert. It is a slim chance, but I have taken it.

In the meantime, I have to hope. Tomorrow there is still chance that we will make it. If the worst comes to the worst, I have a small amount of the Spirit Ink - less than a cupful - with which I am writing this down – if we do not find our way out of the desert by tomorrow, I will try to separate the ink and the other ingredients from the Spirit Water and insist Aang takes it. He must be the one to survive.

If that has to happen, then this might, indeed, be the last entry in this diary.

I can't afford to think like that. I can't afford to let anyone see my doubts or any sign of weakness. For many hours now, this strength has sustained me in this burning place, where, as a waterbender, I am at my most helpless and vulnerable. I guess it is a strength that does not stem from bending, but from ... well, I don't really know from what, actually. But I know my mother had it. Perhaps it is her spirit in me that is giving me this strength.

In this windless night, the stars are an amazing carpet of twinkling lights above my head and their slow movement across the heavens means it is past the middle of the night, and time to resume our journey.

Long may my mother's spirit guide me in the hours that are coming.


	39. Chapter 39

_A/n : next week I will be away for a few days and will not have the time to beta and review the next chapter in time for posting, so I'm skipping next Friday and will post as usual week after next, on the following Friday._

_Thanks, guys, for all the reviews, and special mention to those marked as 'guests' whom I cannot answer individually!_

**181 st day of our journey. We have managed to escape alive out of the Si Wong desert. We did not find the Avatar's Flying Bison, but we did find a sand-sailor buried in the desert. Using airbending and an on-board compass, we managed to find the magnetic centre of the desert, a huge, dark rock that jutted out from the sand. Unfortunately, we were attacked by a swarm of Buzzard-wasps who had built their hive on top of it. They were getting the better of us when suddenly they were frightened back into their holes by the noise of sand tornadoes and earthbended rock columns, and we found ourselves surrounded by a group of sandbenders who arrived on sand skiffs. **

**Toph recognised one of the sandbenders, Gashuin, as the one who had been involved in Appa's kidnapping. At first he denied everything, but finally he admitted the Avatar's bison had been sold to merchants going to Ba Sing Se. This sad news triggered Aang's Avatar state. The resultant fury-driven elemental bending destroyed the Sandbender's sand-sailors and sent everyone running for cover.**

**When Aang had calmed down, we used the last remaining sand-sailor, the one **_**we**_** had found, and set a course by starlight, taking the stranded sandbenders with us. **

**We have now arrived at the northern edge of the Si Wong desert and have set down in an area of rocky hills and canyons where we have found the much-needed water. **

**As soon as we have recovered a bit we will head straight to Ba Sing Se with two missions: to find Appa and get the message of the Sola Eclipse to the Earth King.**

We have not only managed to escape alive out o f the Si Wong desert, we have also _crossed_ the Si Wong desert.

Professor Zei told us it is almost impossible to cross.

But it came at a high price. A _very_ high price.

We have lost Appa. This tragedy is our most obvious and incontrovertible loss in the desert. But I think it is not the only loss. Although we survived with nothing more serious than burnt skin (and, in Sokka's case, recurrent bouts of blurred vision), we all lost something of ourselves in the desert... Toph, surrounded by earth she could not bend, lost her 'sight' to a degree that made her the smallest and weakest of us all; Sokka lost his judgement and his clear thinking with one bad decision; and Aang... Aang was the one to lose the most out of all of us.

He lost not only his companion and the one living link to his past, I think he also lost part of himself forever out there in the desert. He will never be the same again, for the desert has scarred him in a way that is worrying me...

As for me, I don't think I lost something in the desert. I think I _found_ something...

Yesterday night, after allowing the others a few hours of sleep, I went around gently nudging them awake. Aang hadn't moved from the curled-up, foetal position he had taken when we lay down to rest, but somehow, he sensed me behind him, and before I touched him, he spoke:

'I'm awake. I couldn't sleep,' he said, sadly.

A minute later, however, he saw something above us and jumped up joyfully shouting: 'Appa!'

I followed his gaze, but it turned out to be a small Appa-shaped cloud silhouetted against the silvery brightness of the moon. It was the first cloud we had seen in what seemed like ages – clouds meant water, and I excitedly told Aang to fly up and bend its water into my pouch.

But after the let-down with the Appa-cloud, Aang was less than enthusiastic, and his earlier furious mood returned with a vengeance. He snatched the pouch from my hand, threw me an angry look and took off on his glider. I stood there in shock for a second – I had seen Aang angry many times, but such a look had never ever been directed at _me_. I guess he resented my pre-occupation with anything that was not Appa-related.

Two swift passes across the cloud and he was back down again, tossing me the water-skin carelessly.

There was hardly any water in it, and I said so.

Next instant, Aang was _shouting_ at me!

'I'm sorry, okay?! It's a desert cloud; I did all I could!' he yelled 'What's anyone else doing?! What are _you _doing?' And his staff was suddenly pointing right in my face.

I remained deathly still for a second, absorbing the shock of his anger in silence. I could feel my face turn pale beneath the sunburn for, although I knew he was out of his mind with worry over Appa and he didn't really mean it, it still hurt.

'Trying to keep everyone together,' I answered quietly. It was the _only_ thing I could do out here. He said nothing, but lowered his staff and I turned away, unrolling one of Sokka's star charts. 'Let's just get moving. We need to head in this direction'.

I found the North Star on the chart and quickly located it among the bright tapestry of twinkling lights above our heads. Ba Sing Se is to the North of the Si Wong desert, so I led them onwards, telling them to walk close together, so Toph could follow.

It was Aang who brought up the rear, walking head bent, his dark expression and inward look telling me he was still furious at me, at Toph, at the whole world in general, and Sandbenders in particular. He was as tightly wound as a coiled spring and I knew it would be useless to get any reason out of him now. He was hurting too much.

I kept my eyes fixed on the North Star, pondering on the strange connection that existed between Aang and Appa. I knew the bison had been his constant companion - since he was six years old, he told me once - but he was also the last familiar creature in a world which had changed beyond recognition for Aang – his world, his culture, has been wiped out, and Appa is the only living reminder of what he once knew and loved.

I hoped that, like Sokka said, the bison would be worth more alive than dead, because if the Sandbenders hurt him, or worse, killed him, Aang would not survive the loss without losing part of himself in the process. I kept glancing backwards at him, wondering what was going on in his mind. I had never seen this sustained anger in him before – it was frightening.

Even when,months ago, he found out about the genocide, his own reaction had been overcome by the protective Avatar State, and perhaps that had cushioned his own rage somewhat. He had grieved for his people after we left the Southern Air temple, many times, I know he did, even though never as visibly as that first time. Yet he never let on how much he missed his people, or that he was angry at the injustice. I only ever saw rare glimpses, such as when we had seen the desecrated Northern Air Temple, and Granny Lokai's orphanage, of how the genocide really had affected him. He had seemed to have come to terms with what happened relatively quickly….

But it was there, in the middle of that desert, that I learnt how some of that anger still remained – this was the fury of Aang, and Aang alone, without the Avatar State - and it was directed now, at all and sundry, unreasonably and illogically, that is true, but it was because he just would not – _could not_ – let the one living remnant of his past life go the same way as the Air Benders had. He had lost too much already. The Air Nomads were dead – nothing would bring them back, but Appa was alive – _had to be alive_ – and Aang just couldn't accept the possibility of him being gone too.

I glanced back again to where Aang brought up the rear: his eyes were fixed on the sand as he walked forwards. Even in the faint starlight, I could see that beneath the lowered lids, his eyes were as dark as his thoughts.

Then Toph hit something she could not see and fell over.

A boat, she said, having felt the vibrations that outlined its shape. But what was a boat doing buried in the middle of the desert? Aang came forward and with a wide horizontal motion kicked back the sand to reveal a sand-skiff or sand-sailor that the sandbenders used. It seemed pretty much in good condition and had a whole undamaged sail and a compass.

We were saved. Relief flooded through me – I felt I could handle anything as long as we could get out of that arid place.

Of course, I spoke too soon.

Sokka was a bit better but still in a happy, hazy mood that was completely unhelpful, Toph was thirsty and Momo still had to be held all the time lest he fly off into the blue. However, the Sand sailor worked well. I shared out the last of the cloud-water and then we set off. Aang blasted powerful gusts of wind in the sail, swinging his arms in wide, circular movements that were far more savage than was necessary, and I stood on the stern deck, guiding the skiff according to the compass needle.

The Sand Glider moved fast - _very_ fast, its three keels sliding smoothly over the sand with very little friction. If this was the speed with which they disappeared after they took Appa, no wonder Aang couldn't find the sandbenders! It was also very silent: there was only the faint sheering sound of the sand beneath the keels, and the cool, night breeze whistling by as we made our way across the dunes, keeping to the relatively even sand of the depressions or 'valleys' between them.

With the speed at which we were going, the night breeze was stronger and its coolness invigorating. If only we made it out of the Si Wong desert to someplace which had water: dehydration was my major concern now that we had found a means of transport. The myriad stars above my head, so very clear here in the desert, were reassuring – especially the constancy of the North Star.

It was then, when I took my eyes off the compass, that I realised the North Star was NOT straight ahead, but to my right! I consulted the star charts quickly.

'The needle on this compass doesn't seem to be pointing north, according to my charts,' I commented frowning.

'Take it easy, little lady,' Sokka said lazily 'I'm sure the sand folks who built this baby know how to get around here'.

I glared at him. Sokka was not hallucinating anymore, but the after-effects of the cactus juice had left him in an unnaturally calm state, which wasn't helping. A prickling unease came over me – if the compass was broken, it could be leading us further into the desert, instead of out of it.

'Sokka, it's leading us West – towards the _centre_ of the Si Wong desert!' I protested.

Just then, from amid the sand dunes in the far distance, I saw a strange shape: like a dark hill. I glanced down at the quivering needle of the compass. It was pointing straight at it!

'That's what the compass is pointing to!' I told the others 'That giant rock! It must be the magnetic centre of the desert.'

'A rock?' Toph asked, her face lighting up, 'Yes! Let's go!'

If the Sandbenders were guided by the magnetism of this rock it must be important in some way. Perhaps there was an oasis or something on it.

'Maybe we can find some water there!' I told them, voicing my one concern.

'Maybe we can find some _sandbenders_.' Aang said, darkly.

There was no mistaking the hidden menace in his low voice. It was disquieting.

I climbed down from the deck and joined him beneath the billowing sail.

'Aang, there are many sandbenders out here. They may not be the Sandbenders who took Appa -'

'Then they will know who did,' he cut across me curtly. 'And they will tell me...' his eyes flickered over to me, their usual clarity darkening to a stormy grey. Then they narrowed as they flickered back to the huge rock. 'They _will_ tell me, or else -'

He stopped, leaving those sinister words hanging between us. I felt a chill fear creep through my veins. Aang's face was set in hard lines and he was looking grimly at the rock as he punched air blasts into the sand-glider's sails.

The silence spiralled between us – I, for once, did not know what to say. I had never seen Aang this state of sustained fury. It wasn't just righteous anger – I could understand that - but there was also a palpable undercurrent of vengeful purpose in his words that scared me, for it was an aspect of his character that I would never have imagined could exist.

I have seen various degrees of bloodlust in warriors – the worst being that glimpsed through the narrow slits of Fire Nation helmets during the raids on our homes. Sokka says it can sometimes be a necessary part of a warrior's training, and I can understand _that_ too, but it was not something I could even remotely associate with Aang …. Except on very few occasions: I had seen shadows of it on Aang's face through the multifaceted Avatar State, wherein I could not be sure to what point it was him that had generated it, or else his past lives.

Now, however, it was him and him alone in this vengeful rage – my gentle-spirited Aang seemed to have retreated to a place I could not reach, and I dared not ask him what his last sinister words to me meant, for I was afraid to hear the answer coming from _him_.

Instead, I gazed in silence at the fast-approaching giant rock as the first pale signs on the undulating western horizon announced the coming dawn. Aang was still working tirelessly at the sail, eyes fixed on the rock and jaws clenched tight. It saddened me to see that he had been pushed to this point – a point where I, who thought I knew him well by now, found that I barely knew anything at all.

And yet... there was something vaguely familiar about this anger and pain, and even about those secret and vengeful intentions I could see brewing behind his clouded eyes...I had seen this happen before.

When Mum was killed and our family shattered, there were dark days and even weeks, when there was a burning rage inside all of us, a frustrated anger with no-one and nowhere to direct it at.

I suppose we directed it at each other. Sokka started behaving rebelliously and even bizarrely; I blamed everyone around me at first, for the tragedy, not wanting to admit it had all been my fault, and Dad... Dad had buried his feelings deep inside him, but they were never gone and in the end, they drove him to seek revenge by joining the war against the Fire Nation. Those days, none of us knew where our anger stopped and our grief began, and we hurt each other in the process.

Aang was doing the same.

I glanced sadly at the young airbender next to me, understanding finally that all this – _all of it_ – the anger, the pain, the unreasonable lashing out at everyone around him – this was all part of him, too. A part I knew he was less proud of, but part of who he was, nonetheless, and something that I had to learn to accept.

The paleness of the sky had turned to a golden orange by the time we arrived at the giant rock. My hopes for water or even a sign of something green growing that denoted moisture were dashed, for the massive mound that jutted out of the sand was bare and bone-dry rock. Toph leapt out of the sand-sailor eagerly and Aang airbended himself down.

'We should climb to the top – perhaps there's more to this place than just a rock,' I suggested.

'There is. That's a path over there,' Aang said, pointing with his staff.

Toph was already confidently heading that way, able to 'see' her way clearly now. Her morale had lifted tremendously and she seemed like a different person. A path meant someone had come to this rock before – probably Sandbenders. I hurried up after Aang, Sokka bringing up the rear slowly with Momo.

It was hard going – the path was narrow and spiralled steeply upwards around the sheer walls of the giant rock, but finally, just as the rising sun painted the Eastern sky a violent orange- gold, we arrived at the peak. The view from this high vantage point was of a sea of sand in all directions, as far as the eye could see. There was nothing green growing, but we found ourselves in front of what looked like many round caves that pock-marked the domed peak of the rock.

They looked faintly ominous, but were the only possibility of finding water or even some moisture, so we went in one of the largest caves. Inside, they did not look like caves but more like tunnels, and the walls were covered in a thick, glutinous, yellow goo.

Then my idiot brother, who had just been saying his head was clearing from the cactus juice, had to go and taste the stuff! He gagged, saying it tasted like rotten penguin meat and a minute later, we found out why!

The caves we were in were part of a huge Buzzard-wasp hive carved out of the rock and the yellow stuff was produced by carrion-eating females to feed their young! Toph warned us that the whole place was a-buzz with the creatures!

We fled, but I guess they sensed our presence. As we reached the outside, several of them flew out of the other openings and started circling us, screeching loudly. I remember Professor Zei telling me of his own encounters with the creatures: he said they were usually scavengers unless desperately hungry, but could be very aggressive if their nest was disturbed!

I had the feeling that they were both at the moment! I had no water to bend, Sokka was still labouring with blurred vision and Toph could only attack those Buzzard-wasps that were crawling on the rock – the ones that were flying were too many and buzzing too confusedly, for her to follow their sound and earthbend them out of the sky!

'We have to get out of here!' I shouted, backing away from the hive towards Aang, but next instant, I heard a desperate scream behind us – it was Momo: one of the buzzard-wasps had snatched him up in its six legs and was flying off in the direction of the rising sun, no doubt to feast on its prize away from the other Buzzard-wasps!

'Momo!' Aang shouted in despair, realising exactly what that thing intended to do.

He ran forwards, but the Buzzard-wasp, with Momo screeching pathetically in its clawed feet, was heading away from the hive.

'I'm not losing anyone else out here!' Aang said savagely, and opening his glider, he took a running leap off the rock.

'Come on, we're going down!' I yelled at the others, as several more Buzzard-wasps flew out of the holes around and above us.

We ran down the narrow ledge that led to the winding path and the Buzzard-wasps momentarily lost sight of us beneath the overhanging rock, but the angry screeching, and the buzzing sound of the creatures' wings was still loud above our heads. I could see some of them had flown off in the direction Aang had taken.

But one of them spotted us. I grabbed Toph by the shoulder with both hands and turned her round to face outwards.

**'**Toph, shoot a rock right there. Fire!' I said, from behind her, guiding her with a gentle pressure of my hands on her shoulders.

Toph realised immediately what I was trying to do. She shot a cluster of rocks, not a single one, for better efficacy, in the direction I showed her and the horrible red-eyed carrion-feeder was downed. As we proceeded on our way down, I glanced at the distant speck that was Aang. I couldn't see if he saved Momo, but I saw him land in a flurry of sand, and swing his staff in an air-bending move that sent an Air-blade flying, deadly swift and fast, to a point further on, slicing the desert sand like a scythe as it went.

I didn't have much time to see what happened, for suddenly, several other buzzard-wasps saw us. We were at the bottom of the Giant rock, but we still hadn't made it to the sand-glider, beneath which we could hide till Aang came back.

'Toph, there are more coming!' I shouted, getting behind her again.

'Just show me where they are!' she answered, getting into an earthbending stance.

'On your left!' I shouted and another carrion-feeder soon bit the dust.

But more sounds of buzzing wings told us they were swarming in for the kill! Then suddenly, huge rock and sand columns, almost as tall as the Giant rock itself, rose from the sand with an unearthly crashing sound, and sand blew around us, blinding us. It lasted for a few long seconds but when the sandstorm died down, we saw three sand-sailors standing motionless in the dunes some hundred yards or so beyond ours, their sails swaying lazily with the early morning breeze. Surrounding us in a belligerent semi-circle, were about twenty or so sandbenders, their several layers of white robes turned to a golden hue by the rising sun. Many more of them manned the Sand -sailors. Some of them wore loose turbans and were visored, so that none of their face was visible, but two of them were bareheaded: a bearded man and a youth. The expression on their face was not friendly and I remembered what Professor Zei had said about these people: like Buzzard-wasps, in desperate times, these people were not only scavengers, but hunted live game...

It did not look good.

Suddenly, Aang landed in front of us, snapping his glider shut and facing the Sandbenders with an ugly look on his face. Next instant, Momo's soft, warm, weight was curled around my neck, trying to hide beneath my hair. I could feel the little Lemur's body trembling in fear, but his large, expressive eyes were on Aang, rather than the sandbenders.

That sent a warning prickle of apprehension running through my mind – Aang was furious at these people, even though it was very clear they did not have Appa! Sokka, Toph and I hurried forward to where Aang stood, instinctively standing in front of him. Momo, still skittish, leapt over to Sokka, from where he surveyed the goings-on with large, frightened eyes.

The bearded man, who appeared to be their leader, spoke first: 'What are you doing in our land with a sandbender sailor?' he said belligerently 'From the looks of it, you stole it from the Hami tribe.'

I moved forward in front of Aang to intervene quickly. The bearded man's tone was enough to set anyone's hackles up.

'We found the sailor abandoned in the desert,' I explained, trying to speak calmly and reasonably 'We're travelling with the Avatar. Our bison was stolen and we have to get to Ba-Sing-Se.'

The younger sandbender next to the leader clenched his fist angrily: 'You dare accuse our people of theft, while you ride in on a stolen sand sailor?' he shouted.

'Quiet, Gashuin!' the older man said sharply, in his gravelly voice. 'No one accused our people of anything. If what they say is true, we must give them hospitality'.

'Sorry, father,' Gashuin answered.

I breathed a mental sigh of relief as Toph came up by my side, her eyes narrowed. At least, this guy's father seemed more reasonable. And the Avatar's name seemed to command some respect.

Said Avatar was being unexpectedly quiet, but I sensed that Aang was like a coiled spring, and it was probably only the older man's collaboration that was keeping him in check. I was about to move forward and deal with the Sandbenders myself – if there had to be any questions relating to Appa, I felt I would handle it better, when suddenly Toph said something that made the whole situation precipitate into chaos:

'I recognize the son's voice,' she said, 'He's the one that stole Appa.'

'Are you sure? I asked.

'I never forget a voice,' she replied with conviction, and I believed her.

That did it. Aang burst forth from between us, brandishing his staff threateningly at the Sandbenders

**'**You stole Appa!' he snarled at them 'Where is he? What did you do to him?'

'They're lying!' Gashuin said, turning to his father 'They're the thieves!'

But I could hear the quiver of insincerity in his voice.

Aang swung his staff and the desert sand rose in the furious wake of a violent air blast that hit one of the sand-sailors, smashing it to pieces.

'Where is my bison?!' Aang's voice was a low growl of barely-controlled rage.

The sandbenders gazed in horror from their destroyed Sand-sailor to where Aang stood, barely able to take in what had just happened. But Aang was too beside himself to wait patiently for them to understand that _yes_, we had told the truth, and yes, this _was_ the Avatar and they had made a big mistake in taking Appa!

'You tell me where he is _now_!' Aang shouted, and he swung his staff remorselessly one more time, and the vengeful air-blast whistled past with deadly accuracy at the second Sandbender sailor. The sound of splintering wood and the cries of those manning it, as they ran for their lives, filled the desert air.

The Sandbenders' shocked faces paled even beneath the yellow-gold haze of the early desert sun. My heart pounded fearfully in my chest, for Aang's fury was in crescendo. This is what I had been afraid of – he had lost control and was purposefully destroying these Sandbender's sailors and their only means of escaping the desert ... or his anger. Only, looking at him then, I knew that they couldn't escape: his features were almost unrecognisable, twisted in wrath, his eyes dark and rage-filled. This was Aang as I had never seen him before, for he had reached a boiling point – he looked almost as angry as he did in the Avatar State, when such a state had been triggered by that particular emotion.

'What did you do?' The Sandbender leader turned to his son, alarmed and frightened. Without the Sand gliders, his men, as well as him and his son, would be condemned to die in the desert!

'I-It wasn't me!' Gashuin stammered, but the lie in his voice was evident.

'You said to put a muzzle on him!' Toph said, pointing an accusing finger at him.

'You _muzzled_ Appa?!'

Aang's voice quivered in horrified rage and time seemed to slow down. I realised with a shiver of dread, in those unnaturally long seconds, exactly what would happen: but I couldn't stop it - the next second instant, his eyes had turned an incandescent white, as did his arrow tattoos. He was entering into the Avatar State! My heart was in my mouth and I watched helplessly as with a swirling motion of his staff he destroyed the last sand-glider as though it were a child's toy!

Gashuin finally seemed to realise just who he had messed with.

'I'm sorry!' he yelled, fear twisted his features, 'I didn't know that it belonged to the Avatar!'

'Tell me where Appa is!' Aang's voice, like Aang himself, was unrecognisable as Past Avatars spoke through him, commanding the truth in their unearthly voices.

'I traded him! To some merchants!' Gashuin admitted finally, 'He's probably in Ba-Sing-Se by now! They were going to sell him there!' he looked up at Aang's face, but there was neither mercy nor pity in those white, incandescent eyes.

If anything the Avatar's fury increased.

Appa's whereabouts were once again unknown, and Aang had had one too many false hopes now to be able to control himself any longer. Suddenly, I could feel his pain just as though it were mine. This was one last blow that I knew he couldn't handle: Appa, that gentle giant, had been ill-treated and sold to third or fourth parties who may have even more nefarious intentions on him than the Sandbenders or merchants!

'Please! We'll escort you out of the desert! We'll help however we can!' Gashuin was begging, but Aang, his face contorted in fury, glared at him pitilessly. I saw Gashuin's father glance at the last sand-sailor – the one _we_ had found buried in the desert, and he made a pleading gesture with his hands.

Aang didn't even see him. The air started spinning wildly around him, gathering in the heated dry winds from the four corners of the desert into a raging force. I knew, with that horrible sinking feeling of inevitability, that he was going into the full Avatar State in a rage such as I had only witnessed once before.

'Just get out of here!' I heard Sokka shout to Toph, 'Run!'

But my own fear and apprehension at the raw power I knew would soon be unleashed slowly dissipated.

The furious wind screamed vengefully around me, picking up sand particles and driving them in stinging pin-point lashes against my skin. I shielded my eyes as a tornado of sand and broken sand-sailor debris were hurled around faster and faster. Everyone was running desperately for cover. I let them. I knew there was someone in that raging force there who was hurting more than the rest of us put together. I glimpsed Aang in the middle of the whirling sphere of air as the Avatar State lifted him above and beyond that which it perceived his enemies.

But I was not an enemy, and I was not there to hurt him, but to shield him, if I could.

From himself too, if necessary.

I approached the swirling ball of energy. I could see Aang's face looking down mercilessly at the fleeing sandbenders, his features almost unrecognisable in his wrath and pain. The glowing arrows on his hands were pointing eloquently at his own hate-clenched fists. He would wreak his vengeance on them. He would destroy those who had taken away the one living creature that had shown him unconditional love and devotion, through thick or thin!

And he would hate himself for it.

The Aang _I_ _knew_ would hate himself for it, even though this anger, this violence, was a darker part of him that he needed to recognise, painful as it was. He had to accept that it was part of him, just as I had, and then let it go.

I approached the whirling sphere and reached up to him, through the maelstrom, grabbing his wrist. His head snapped round, and the blazing fury of his gaze turned on to me – hate, vengeance, blind wrath were all there in his eyes – emotions I had been afraid of seeing in him - but also a deep pain and hurt. There was all of this and yet... and yet, it was just Aang. Just the young airbender whom I knew so well ... this was him, too. I held on firmly to his wrist, showing him that I would not be letting go ...whatever happened. At that moment, seeing all that pain etched into his features, I felt heart-broken that Aang had been pushed to the limit beyond which he would not recognise himself. He had lost so much already – immeasurably more than anyone alive – why this, too?

The hard muscles of his clenched fists twitched beneath my hands, and the angry hate-filled expression wavered, then left his face. The wind slowly lessened and he sank lower, so I could grab his other hand and steady him as the draining influence after the Avatar State took hold. My eyes never left his face, and as his feet touched the ground, I could see his expression change. He looked drained, but also as sad as I felt, now. I pulled him to me and held him tight, shielding him against the last remnants of the furious winds, shileding him from everything and everyone. The stiffness of his rage-filled body resisted for a few more seconds, but then the glow of the Avatar State faded from his eyes, and he slumped against me. I could feel him trembling slightly as he lay his weary head on my shoulder, but I said nothing. I just held him tightly, knowing here was no need for words.

Hot tears seeped through the fabric of my clothes, and I knew what pain and shock had wrenched those silent tears from him.

'I'm sorry, Katara' he whispered finally, pulling away from me and hanging his head, 'I had told you, once, that I hoped you'd never see me like this again, and yet ...'.

'Aang, this is not your fault – '

'Yes it is! It was bad enough when I was out of control in General Fong's fortress, but this is much worse!' he brought his head up to gaze at the chaotic jumble of broken Sand-gliders and sand-blasted men who were looking at us warily from a safe distance, 'you _know_ it is!'

I looked at him sadly, as a flicker of his earlier rage showed through his weary, sand- and tear-streaked face. This time, however, the anger was turned towards himself, and after another cursory look at the sand-blasted landscape, he hung his head in shame.

'This is much worse,' he repeated in a low voice 'I would've hurt them, Katara. And it was _me_ this time, not my past lives or the Avatar State. I knew what I was doing, and _I _was calling the shots, not my past lives. I _wanted_ to hurt those Sandbenders. Can you believe that?!' his eyes turned to me and I was taken aback at the haze of shocked pain I could see there. 'Perhaps I would've killed them like I did the Buzzard-wasp that took Momo! _D'you understand what I nearly did?!_ I - I lost my head.' His voice rose in anguish.

I took a step towards him and lay my hand tentatively on his shoulder, but he turned away, drying his eyes with a swift, angry movement. 'Most of those sandbenders haven't even lain eyes on Appa,' he bit out 'They're _innocent!_'

'You know, Aang' I said, sadly 'Looking at you is like looking at myself, some years back. In the weeks following Mum's death I was so mad and frustrated I lashed out at everyone, hurting those I loved, and myself, in the process.'

He turned to look at me. 'But you didn't go into the Avatar State and destroy everything.'

'No, but hurtful or angry words can do a lot of damage, too. Thankfully, I realised very quickly and tried to make amends by stepping into Mum's shoes, focussing on what was important: keeping the family together like she would've wanted. Trying to make sure she hadn't died in vain.'

'Appa isn't dead... yet.'

'No. He's in Ba Sing Se. And we've got to hope to find him there – he's too important and unusual for ...anything else. We gotta focus on what's important.'

He looked at me for a second without saying anything, then he looked back to where the Sandbenders were huddled together in small frightened groups. I felt his shoulders straighten and he took a deep breath, as though coming to a decision.

'I gotta talk to them,' he said 'I owe some of them, at least, an apology.'

'I'll come with you.'

'No, no. I'm... I'm ok, now.' His face was pale and drawn beneath the sunburn and the sand dust, but there was a determined, hard look in his eyes.

He walked forward a few steps, then he paused and turned round to look at me. The hard look softened .

'I'm really glad you were there, Katara. You saved everyone. And you kept _this_ family together, too.'

Then he turned and walked swiftly towards a group of sandbenders, who hurriedly backed away. Their leader, however, stood his ground, and, as Aang approached, prostrated himself before him. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Aang knelt down beside him and I saw him indicate our Sand-sailor. Their leader got up and the other sandbenders slowly gathered round too, as they saw Aang's fury had abated. Sokka and Toph went up to them too and I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

Only Gashuin remained apart, but it was better that way.

I felt drained given the emotional swings of the past hours but, as I looked at Aang speaking with the Sandbenders, taking charge of the situation, I also felt proud of how he had come through this ordeal. Sokka came to tell me Aang had offered to take all the sandbenders – Gashuin included- on our Sand sailor. They, in return, would guide us out of the desert to its northern borders, and then they were welcome to keep the glider.

I made my way to the Sand glider. Toph was already there.

'That's one heck of a sandstorm Twinkletoes blew up!' she said, still in awe, 'How did he do that?'

I explained about the Avatar State, while Toph listened open-mouthed. Something that had been niggling at the back of my mind since we left the library re-surfaced. Avatar Yangchen had written about being at her strongest, yet at her most vulnerable, in the Avatar State...

I glanced over at Aang, who was on the stern deck talking to Sha-mo, as the leader of the Sandbenders was called. I needed to talk to him about what I had found out... but another day perhaps. We were all exhausted: mentally, physically and emotionally. The Sandbenders gathered whatever they could salvage from their destroyed sand-sailors and climbed aboard too. They had some water skins with them, and we finally quenched our thirst.

It was very crowded on the sand sailor, but these people really know their craft – several Sandbenders stood beneath the thick canvas sails and created a sand vortex that drove the glider forward. The fast, smooth glide over the sand ensured a stiff breeze surrounded us , so even as the desert sun rose higher, we did not feel its effects so much. Toph soon went over and started talking to them. From snatches of conversation I heard, she was asking them about sand-bending. Sokka was talking to Sha-mo, discussing the route to take. We will be going due North I heard them say, up until we hit the mountain range close to the Eastern Lake.

Aang sat alone on the prow of one of the keels, his eyes fixed on the distant horizon. All the sandbenders were giving him a wide berth, so I went and sat down beside him, just so that he does not feel alone. He glanced at me once, then went back to staring fixedly at the horizon. He was calm now and there was no trace of the towering rage of earlier, but neither of sorrow or anxiety or eagerness – he seemed drained of all emotion. I did not say anything but sat quietly nearby until finally, towards evening, we saw the jagged outline of a string of high rocky hills in the distance.

Soon the terrain beneath the keels of the glider changed form sand to a gritty, pebbly dust and the sand sailor came to a halt.

'This is as far as this craft can get you, Avatar' Sha-mo said 'If you go in that direction –' he pointed to two bare rocky cliffs between two high hills ' you will find a small stream - a tributary to the great rivers that feed the lakes. It is only a couple of hours away on foot.'

We thanked Sha-mo, who also gave us some provisions salvaged from their destroyed gliders, and then we were on our own again.

The two-hour walk was harder than it would normally have been, because our ordeal in the desert had weakened us, but by nightfall we finally we finally come across the stream Sha-mo indicated. We drank our fill of the clear, cool water and with some difficulty, built a fire (firewood is rather scarce in these bare rocky hills, even though there is water). Toph and Sokka went to sleep immediately, completely exhausted, but Aang, who hasn't said a word since we left the Sandbenders, is still awake, meditating, so I stayed up too, just in case he needs me, for the strange, empty look on his face is worrying me.

I have spent the time writing about our incredible journey through the desert.

I think the desert has marked us all in some way, and, as I wrote in the beginning of today's journal entry, for most of us there has been a loss. As for myself… I think that I have found something...

I have found reserves of strength within me that I didn't think I had, especially in this arid, dry land so foreign to me, as a waterbender. Just when everything seemed so bleak and hopeless to everyone else, I found a resilient core of defiant hope and resolve that kept me going when everyone else had given up.

I think, if such a thing could be, that I my have been touched by my mother's spirit.

I'm sure she watches over me still.

Tomorrow, we must put all this behind us, forget our ordeal in the Desert, and concentrate our hopes on finding Appa in Ba Sing Se. We have a mission there.


	40. Chapter 40

**182 nd day of our journey. Today we have taken things a bit easy. In the morning we followed the stream to where it formed a waterfall that cascaded into a deep pool. There, we stopped to rest and enjoy the afternoon by the water, all the more appreciated after our long walk through the desert. **

**Since we now have to travel on foot, we were discussing which route to follow to get to Ba Sing Se, and had decided to walk across the lake on a narrow sliver of land called The Serpents Pass, when we were joined by three refugees, Tahn, his sister Lien, and his pregnant wife, Ying. They, too, were heading to Ba Sing Se, but they recommended we take a ferry to get across rather than the more dangerous Serpent's Pass. We start tomorrow at dawn and we'll be travelling together with the refugees.**

Water had never felt so beautifully clean and cool and refreshing!

We slept till late and the sun was already high in the sky as I prepared breakfast from the provisions the Sandbenders had given us. Everyone was very hungry - even Aang accepted as small bowl of barley and oats. He looked much better than he had the night before, and though still not very talkative, at least he had lost that strained look. With the soothing sound of the waterfall constantly in the background, the worst of the dangers behind us, and a solid plan to defeat the Fire Nation in our hands, my spirits lifted.

By the time we finished breakfast it was almost noon, and the sun was already hot. There was one thing I had been dying to do since we arrived by the pool – stripping to my Sarashi and loosening my desert-dusty hair, I jumped right in.

After the dryness and heat of the desert, the water breathed new life into me. I felt it close over my head as I sunk deep beneath the surface, entering the silent underwater world. I did not bend the water: just listened to the soft, liquid sound of air bubbles and the magnified sound of tumbling water from the cascade. Even my eyes were soothed by the dim greenish-blue light beneath the surface after being searingly-bright desert sun.

'Who's joining me?' I asked as I resurfaced.

'That looks inviting,' Aang said, and shrugged out of his shirt.

'Just a short swim. I gotta look at those maps and find the shortest route to Ba Sing Se,' Sokka mumbled with his shirt over his head, 'Gotta make up for lost time!'

'I'm sitting on this rock and that's the closest to the water I'm gonna get!' Toph sat down on a rock by the water's edge and dangled her feet in the clear water, but even she could not suppress a sigh of relief as the cool water enveloped her feet – although her soles are thick and callused, she had suffered when walking on the superheated desert sand.

We splashed around in the cool water for hours, washing our clothes and hair from the red-orange desert sand, but, for the most part, just simply enjoying the water.

Sokka soon got out however, for now that his head had cleared from the cactus juice and his vision was no longer blurred, he had a whole bagful of maps and scrolls he had stolen from Wan Shi Tong's Library to examine.

Aang and I were content to just swim around, however – the water was perfect for such a hot day and it had slowly but steadily turned my mood into a euphoric one. Climbing up to a high ledge overhanging the pool I grinned as I looked over the edge. Aang had encased himself in a cube of ice – perhaps in reaction to the overheated days in the desert. Having paler skin, he and Toph had both got more sunburnt than my brother and I, and besides, I think that Aang, like myself, can tolerate the cold better than the heat. The outline of his pale body was distorted by the enveloping ice, as he bobbed like ice cube on the surface of the pool, but his head was sticking out and I could see his expression was still rather sombre. Well, it was time I put in some of the fun he had always encouraged me to have, back into him:

**'**Waterbending bomb!' I yelled as I jumped off the edge 'Yeah!'

I laughed as I saw Aang's wide-eyed look. It was a cannonball with a difference of course: I hit the surface, barely a yard away from Aang's ice cube and as I felt the water slowing my momentum, I brought my arms up in a wide arch, following the motion of the water and enhancing its upward flow. The sheer exhilaration and delight of being immersed in my own element lent extra Chi energy to the bending move that emptied half the pool in a huge splash.

I was rewarded by hearing Aang and Toph's chuckles of appreciation as I climbed out. Aang had been cast back on land with the giant wave, and I hoped I had broken the ice around him in more ways than one. Sokka, however, grumbled I had ruined the old maps from the library so I bended the water out of them and we all gathered round to see what route Sokka had decided on.

He spread his map on the ground and pointed to a thin passageway that divided the Great East and West lakes that separated us from Ba Sing Se, to the North. 'It looks like the only passage connecting the South to the North is this sliver of land called the Serpent's Pass,' he said.

He continued by saying we had no other choice, since we did not have Appa to fly us there. Why does my brother have to prod Aang's wound? I shushed him up - after all, last time he said that, Aang had flown into a rage and accused us all of selfishly thinking only about ourselves. But even as Sokka and I looked at him, he lowered his eyes and seemed to shrink into himself.

' Katara, it's ok, ' he said 'I know I was upset about losing Appa before, but I just want to focus on getting to Ba Sing Se, and telling the Earth King about the solar eclipse.'

He spoke in a calm, deadpan voice that somehow did not really convince me as much as it should have.

But just then we heard a cry from the canyon behind us.

'Hello there, fellow refugees!'

That's how we met Than and his heavily pregnant wife, Ying, as well as Than's teenage sister, Lien. They were on their way to Ba Sing Se too, but reacted with horror to our plan to travel through the Serpent's Pass, saying only the desperate chose that way.

'You should come with us to Full Moon Bay,' Than said. 'Ferries take refugees across the lake. It's the fastest way to Ba Sing Se.'

'And it's hidden, so the Fire Nation can't find it,' Ying added.

Thank goodness we met these three travellers – after our ordeal in the desert, I would rather not face any more danger if can avoid it. So Ferry ride it will be – we leave tomorrow at dawn.

'Have you travelled far?' I asked Ying, observing that she looked pretty tired.

'We've been travelling for almost three months now!' Ying said, 'Most of the way on foot, but sometimes there were kind souls who gave us a lift in their wagons.'

'Why don't you come by the water and rest a bit, dear,' Than said.

'The water looks lovely ...' she said walking over to the pool. Helped by Than, she lowered herself awkwardly onto the rocks and put her feet in the cool water, breathing a sigh of relief.

'Swollen feet, huh?' I said, sitting down near her while Lien got their drinking bowls and a couple of dry biscuits for Ying.

She nodded as she sipped a bowl of fresh water. 'It's getting more pronounced now.'

'It must take a lot of courage to travel so far in a war-torn country in your condition!' I remarked, full of admiration at the young woman's courage.

She smiled ruefully. 'I didn't do it on a whim. And I certainly never imagined I'd be so far away from home when I had our first child.'

A shadow flitted across Than's face. 'As you may have guessed, being refugees, we had to leave home in a hurry. It was the Rough Rhinos who came first – they rampaged through our town one night, taking everyone by surprise. They pillaged and burnt the houses and ...and ...' the look on Than's hitherto peaceful-looking face, darkened.

'…and ravaged the women,' Lien completed the sentence with an ugly look 'Say it, Tahn! You saw what they nearly did to me! '

'That was a desperate night,' Tahn said grimly ' I managed to rescue Lien - more through sheer luck than anything else, and then a contingent from the Fire Nation army came. The Rough Rhinos had been sent ahead to weaken our defences and create the chaos that would make our town easy prey. They put a stop to the Rough Rhinos excesses and sent them off to pillage another Earth Kingdom town ...' His eyes darkened as he stared, unseeing, at his own reflection in the water and the memories trapped therein.

'But we knew it could only get worse.' Lien continued bitterly 'We had heard what they did in neighbouring towns: they broke families apart: sending able-bodied men and earthbenders to work in their metal mines, and as for the women... well, some of them disappeared, too, and never came back. ...they say they would be too ashamed to...'

'I did not want my child to be born into slavery...' Tahn explained with a defiant look.

'And I didn't want to be a slave either,' Lien-said, with a grim smile, 'So we decided to escape.'

'My husband and sister-in-law have always been idealists,' Ying interjected with a slightly exasperated, yet proud, smile. 'But I could agree with them a hundred percent on that one: the escape was risky and the journey tiring, but I'm glad of it now- we're only a day away from Ba Sing Se. I almost can't believe we've come so far!'

Than placed his arms around her and hugged her affectionately as the rest of us exchanged sombre looks – these people had suffered so much, yet, as I found out, they did not let their hardships get them down – especially Than. He was an optimist if I ever saw one, as well as an idealist.

He told us he was a junior scribe working for a rich merchant, and had had great plans for his future and that of his family-in-the-making.

'I still have great plans,' he said enthusiastically ' As soon as we're safe behind the walls of Ba Sing Se I'll find work and we can start all over again. Perhaps I can get a better job and a better pay there.'

Later, as we sat around the campfire (bushes and shrubs are a bit more plentiful around this part of the stream) he outlined his plans and hopes and ambitions for when they reached Ba Sing Se. His enthusiasm and optimism were very infectious and I could see he was purposely steering away from recounting any more details about their harrowing experience in their hometown and the family and friends they must have left behind. I could see that he was doing it to keep his wife's spirits up, as well as those of his sister.

So close to the end of their journey, they responded well and we had a relatively light-hearted evening meal with these refugees. Tahn was also an extremely attentive husband and I could see that Ying, although tired, tried to be upbeat not to worry him.

My admiration for this small family grew in leaps and bounds. They did not let their misfortunes beat them and had taken the risk of a perilous journey in the hope of remaining free. But I couldn't help thinking about the grim picture they painted of the pillaging of their home town….

I found myself wishing I had beaten the Rough Rhinos to a jellied pulp a week ago when we last saw them.

**183 rd day of our journey. We travelled to Full Moon Bay with Tahn Ying and Lien. The Ferry landing is hidden in a huge cavern and the way inside is strictly guarded by the Earth King's security forces. We arrived late morning and found the place crowded with hundreds and hundreds of refugees.**

**We didn't have the required passports to get Ferry Tickets but thankfully, Toph had a Bei Fong Passport which got us four ferry tickets as her servants plus one Seeing-eye lemur. We also met Suki and her Kyoshi warriors there. She and the other warriors, inspired by the Avatar's quest, have been helping the refugees.**

**Unfortunately, a bit before we boarded the Ferry, Tahn and his family accosted the Avatar saying their belongings had been stolen and they couldn't get tickets. The strait-laced beaurocratic system would make no exceptions, so the Avatar decided to lead this refugee family to Ba Sing Se across the Serpent's Pass. We were joined by Suki, who will help in protecting Than's family as we make the dangerous crossing.**

**The Serpent's Pass lives up to its name. It is a high, treacherous ledge with a sheer drop on either side into the water below. On the Western side, Fire Nation ships patrol the waters, guarding what Suki says is a secret project. After a skirmish with one of their ships, we have settled down for the night on a wide platform in the middle of the Pass.**

**Tomorrow, we cross the second half of the Serpents Pass, and hopefully arrive in one piece at the walls of Ba Sing Se**

By mid-morning we had met the first of the sentries. He was dressed in the Earth King's livery and asked us a lot of questions. I thought he'd remark something about Aang – an Airbender and the Avatar, but he seemed uninterested. I thought he just did not believe us, though he nodded sympathetically at Ying as he moved aside to let is through. We met more of the Earth King's guards along the way, until we came across a whole bunch of them standing at the base of a blank cliff face.

I knew enough about earthbending now to know that there was something behind that barren rack face, and sure enough, after we were searched for weapons and suspicious items, their Commander slammed his foot down hard and earthbended away the wall of the cliff to reveal a tunnel beyond.

At the other end, we found an enormous cavern – big enough to fit a small mountain in. One half of the cavern was a harbour with several ferries berthed in the docks. The other half was a waiting area for the refugees seeking to be ferried over to Ba Sing Se, and there were hundreds of people – it seemed like the population of entire villages were here. Everywhere you looked, people stood with a blank, tired look on their faces, or sat on their meagre bundles of belongings, patiently waiting. It seemed _everyone_ was waiting – for _what_ we weren't quite sure at first, for not all of them were standing in line at the ticket booths. We bade Tahn and his family a hearty goodbye and went to look around.

It was so sad to see so many people, all uprooted by the war, leaving the life they knew behind. Many of them appeared to have camped there, for there were tents and sleeping bags. Some seemed just tired after a long journey, others happy to see a journey's end and a new beginning, but others still had careworn, anxious expressions on their faces. Many children played in the damp, dark grounds of the cavern, unmindful of the filth and dirt that such a massive insurgence of humanity is always bound to create. Many of these, I found out later, for some reason or other were refused entrance to the quay and had not been able to board a ferry, yet had no resources (or perhaps no will) to face another long journey elsewhere. These were the _true_ refugees, waiting miserably and endlessly till something changed, or their luck turned.

We realised just how easily they had found themselves in that predicament when we joined the queues at the ferry ticket podium:

'Passport!' the ticket lady said, dourly. She was middle-aged, with a face set in unpleasantly-officious, sour lines.

Of course we didn't have passports, and Sokka's attempt to get through by saying Aang was the Avatar did not work either.

'Ah, I see fifty Avatars a day,' she bit out, unimpressed, 'and by the way, not a very impressive costume.'

She pointed to one side and there, guarded by some Security Guards, were a motley group of boys in Avatar costumes. My hackles were already rising - first of all at the unhelpful officiousness of the ticket woman, and secondly, because that bunch of boys had evidently tried to sneak illegally into Ba Sing Se by pretending to be the Avatar – bad enough my own brother had usurped that title once! Besides, how dare she call Aang's Airbender clothes a '_costume_?! Those guys in costumes looked _nothing_ like Aang! Absolutely nothing!

Aang, however, was nodding at them in a friendly way, completely unperturbed by the whole thing. Well, I suppose they didn't mean any harm... perhaps they were just desperate to get past the ticket lady.

When the passport lady threatened to call security, Toph stepped up and slammed a tasselled, first-class passport with a gleaming gold symbol of the Flying Boar on her desk.

'My name is Toph Bei Fong,' she said in an authorative voice 'and I'll need 4 tickets.'

This had the desired effect, and the ticket lady's eyes went wide as she examined the passport:_ '_Oh! The Golden Seal of the Flying Boar, it is my pleasure to help anyone of the Bei Fong family,' she exclaimed, bowing.

I had forgotten, with Toph living rough with us, her impressive family background! Thank goodness she had kept her passport in one of her capacious pockets, because everything else had been lost when they took Appa.

We were given tickets as Toph Bei Fong's valets ( or 'three imbeciles', as she called us) and Momo became her 'seeing-eye lemur'.

Breathing a sigh of relief, we went to wait for the ferry. I glanced back one last time at the motley collection of boys dressed in a very bad imitation of Airbender clothing. One of them even had a false glider! Aang's fame had spread – inaccurately, perhaps, but very widely, nonetheless. What worried me was that if there were so many false Avatars about, we might have some trouble convincing the Earth King of who we really were.

Just then a pretty young woman in the Security guard's uniform grabbed Sokka roughly and demanded passports and tickets.

'I've seen your type before,' she said, belligerently 'probably sarcastic, think your hilarious, and let me guess, you're travelling with the Avatar.'

'Do I know you?' Sokka asked, but his eyes narrowed as though something was not quite right.

'You mean you don't remember?' the girl scowled, 'Maybe you remember this'. And she kissed Sokka on the cheek while we watched the little scene unfold with open mouths.

'Suki!' my brother's face lit up and he hugged her.

It took my brain a little while to process what had just happened. Her voice was familiar and I did, indeed, finally recognise her as the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, though she looked very different without her facepaint and old uniform. Eventually my brain caught up with my eyes, and I smirked as I realised why Sokka used to frequently disappear to the Kyoshi Warrior's dojo back on Kyoshi Island. He had been very evasive about it when I asked him, back then.

He had also told me (though I hadn't believed him) that he had kissed a girl once. My smile widened. Sokka had certainly changed his view about the 'bunch of girls' he refused to believe could beat him. I suddenly remembered that Sokka had asked Oyagi specifically about Suki when we had gone to Kyoshi's shrine to borrow her relics: things were certainly falling into place! Suki seemed changed, too. She didn't seem to think my brother so arrogant any more – I could see her eyes wander approvingly over him. Her face, without make-up, was easier to read, and I could see that she liked what she saw.

She told us that after they left Kyoshi, having been inspired by us to help in the war effort, they ended up escorting some refugees, and have been here ever since.

'So why are you guys getting tickets for the ferry? Wouldn't you just fly across on Appa?' she said with a puzzled look, as she scratched Momo's head.

I suppose I should have seen that coming. Her words prodded a still-sore subject I had been trying to avoid. I explained hastily and glanced over at Aang, wondering how he'd react.

'I'm so sorry to hear that,' Suki said, looking at Aang, too. 'Are you doing okay?'

Apparently not – but he did not look sad or upset: instead, he looked positively annoyed as he found everyone looking at him in concern.

'I'm doing fine,' he said tersely. 'Would everybody stop worrying about me!?'

That had the effect of instantly triggering a wave of anxiety in me. He did NOT sound fine – or rather, his refusal to acknowledge something was wrong was worrying – yesterday he was in crisis over Appa's loss, and now he was insisting it was fine.

Perhaps he's doing it not to worry us.

Just then, there was a cry of 'Avatar Aang' from below the wall we stood on. It was Than and his family. Ying's eyes were red and Than's face was set in anguished lines.

'Someone took all of our belongings,' Ying said, in a strained voice, 'Our passports, our tickets. Everything's gone!' her voice quivered and she started sobbing, unable to endure this final disillusionment after the hardships of her journey. So near and yet so far...Than wrapped his arms comfortingly around her, but I could see the poor woman was exhausted, both physically and mentally. Many women are perpetually tired near the end of their pregnancy, even within the comfort of their home, and Ying did not have this luxury: she had travelled hundreds of miles and suffered many hardships. This last setback was one too many.

Aang tried his best to make the stupid ticket lady see sense, thinking she'd make an exception for a heavily pregnant woman, but that sour old thing was as rigid as a poker about her stupid rules! And tickets are non-transferable.

That's when Aang came up with the idea of leading them across the Serpent's Pass.

Ying looked at him with wide eyes, her face pale and her eyes red and swollen. She didn't say anything for a while, but then she turned to her husband.

'I think what the Avatar says makes sense,' she said, with a wan smile, 'We're desperate enough now.'

'Are – are you sure, my dear? You know what they say about-'

'I know what they say about the Serpent's Pass. It's just that...' she pressed her hands momentarily to her face and her voice shook '...I don't want our child to be born here: an outcast, belonging nowhere. It will be just as bad as having stayed back home under Fire Nation rule.'

'I'm with Ying.' Lien said defiantly 'After all, we've got the Avatar with us – that's got to count for something, doesn't it? And Toph and Katara are benders, and Sokka's a warrior. That'll even the odds!'

Than looked cautiously hopeful again and Ying dried her tears. Toph was rather excited at the prospect of a new adventure, but my brother was scowling. Even Suki, who had joined us down at the ticket booths, was frowning. Then, with a murmured excuse she slipped away, saying she had to do something – evidently she knew about the Serpent's Pass, too.

'If we start now we could be half-way across by nightfall,' Aang said with a determined, focussed look on his face.

I felt very proud of him. He had acted exactly as I knew he would – as an _Avatar_ should – and put his own interests aside in order to help these people. Seeing him like that one would never guess what turmoil he had just been through. He seemed to have put his grief behind him completely. Or perhaps, he was hiding it. Even then, a niggling fear that something was not quite right started to worry me.

It did not take long to get ready for the journey ahead: we had lost most of our stuff when Appa was taken: apart from the clothes we stood in and what we carried in our pockets, we had only one bag between us: Sokka's, and I had my water skin and writing stuff. Than and his family were similarly ill-equipped after the robbery of their things.

'We'll travel light then – it is the best way to travel. We'll have less to lose,' Aang said curtly as he led us back towards the secret entrance of the cavern.

I would have preferred to have some more supplies with us, especially with a heavily-pregnant woman, but all we could afford with the few coins we had was some rice and fruit and two sleeping mats.

'I'm coming too!' we heard a shout behind us, and Suki came running up, dressed in her Kyoshi warrior's uniform and face paint.

I was so relieved to see her and hear her offer, though Sokka, for some reason, less so. That struck me as a bit odd, for I was just suspecting Suki may have a bit of a crush on my brother.

'I brought you those,' Suki said, indicating several small bundles.

They were a few more sleeping bags and some more supplies.

'Suki, you're a life saver!' I said, rummaging through the stuff. It was just what we needed: useful, but very small and compact.

'Thank you for helping us, Warrior Suki' Lien said, her eyes round with admiration 'That uniform makes you look really formidable!'

Suki smiled and set off ahead of us to speak with the Security guards at the cavern's hidden entrance and soon we were ushered back out again into the afternoon sun.

We blinked, momentarily blinded after the dimness of the cavern, but as my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw Aang had already started off. Suki and Lien followed him. Lien was very interested in Suki's warrior training and asked her a thousand questions. I listened for a while, secretly thinking that Lien was probably wishing she could join the Kyoshi Warriors, too. After her experience back in her home village, the idea of not being helpless in an enemy's hands must strike her as both intriguing and desirable. Sokka walked silently by my side, his eyes on Suki and a worried frown on his face. Than and Ying brought up the rear for Ying could not walk fast enough, and several times we had to slow down and wait for her to catch up.

It took us a couple of hours to walk along the circular western perimeter of Full Moon Bay and we could actually see, in the distance, the sliver of land called the Serpent's Pass. It rose out of the lake as a series of narrow, jagged peaks of varying height. I heard Ying and Than come up behind me. Ying's face paled at the sight of the razor-sharp, serrated edge of the Pass.

'How can I possibly walk across that?' she asked 'How can _anyone_ walk across that – there's hardly a place for a road!'

'Come on, dear, just a little bit more. There _is_ a way across it if the stories about it are true!' Than said encouragingly.

'That's what worrying me,' Ying replied, casting another fearful look at the Pass.

Soon, we were standing in front of a large wooden gate with the words: 'Coiling Serpent's Pass' written on it. Beyond, a pathway climbed steeply up over the first of the jagged peaks. I glanced at Ying, for I knew the path ahead was far cruder than the wide road she'd hoped for. We could see that it dwindled to nothing more than a footpath near the top of the first peak, with a sheer drop on either side.

Ying's face was pale yet determined, but when she noticed what was graffitied on one of the posts of the gate, she lost what composure she was still clinging to.

I read out loud: 'It says, "Abandon hope".'

'How could we abandon hope? It's all we have!' Ying's voice was lost in a sob and she buried her face in Than's chest. I was going to comfort her, saying hope would see us through this place, when Aang's next words stopped me cold.

'I don't know,' he told Ying, in a cold, emotionless voice, 'The monks used to say that hope is just a distraction. So maybe we _do_ need to abandon it.'

I went up to him incredulously. 'What are you talking about?!'

Was this Aang speaking? I could hardly believe my ears! Not only was the tone of his voice unrecognisably cold, but also what he said: hope isn't a _distraction_**! **Hope keeps our very soul alive – it's the only thing that shines brightly in the darkest hours! He couldn't be serious! What was wrong with him? But Aang, who was looking out across the Eastern lake, turned as he heard me come up behind him.

'Hope isn't going to get us into Ba Sing Se, and it's not gonna find Appa,' he told us. 'We need to focus on what we're doing right now, and that's getting across this Pass.'

He took a few steps towards the gate and passed on to the other side of it, then turned and looked at us expectantly.

I didn't know what to make of his words. I still thought hope was crucial for crossing the Serpent's Pass in the right frame of mind, but, on the other hand, Aang was also right about focussing on the here and now.

'Ok, if you say so,' I said, doubtfully, as we all stepped through the gateway.

I didn't say anything else, but what had been a niggling doubt at the back of my mind now grew into a full-blown conviction that everything was NOT ok with Aang. He had been very unreasonable in his anger, back in the desert – making the wrong choices, saying the wrong things... But now that he was being nothing but coldly reasonable and calculating, I wasn't sure I appreciated the change, even if it was, perhaps, a better way to face a crisis situation.

The path was steep up to the top of the first high peak. Beyond that first peak, it dwindled to a narrow ledge, so that we had to walk single file. Ying was doing fine. She had struggled up the first high peak but now the path was a bit more level and twisted its way around each crest, sometimes on the Eastern side of the lake, sometimes on the Western side, instead of up and down each one. Being more level, Ying found it easier to walk and surprisingly, she seemed much calmer. After that initial shock at the Gateway to the Serpent's Pass, she seemed to be concentrating only on the path beneath her feet.

Perhaps Aang had a point.

Thankfully, none of us suffer from vertigo, because one wrong move meant plunging to your death many of hundreds of feet below.

Than almost did.

He's the heaviest of us and the ledge gave way beneath his feet. Toph saved him by earthbending, but unfortunately this happened when the path was on the Western side of the Pass. Suki had just been telling us that the Western Lake was controlled by the Fire Nation, who were rumoured to be working on something secret on that side of the lake. Than's mishap sent a mini-avalanche into the lake below, alerting a patrolling Fire Nation ship.

Soon a blazing Fireball was heading our way. We hadn't been attacked by those horrible Trebuchets since when we were in the Kolau Mountain Range, and we hadn't seen the much larger Ship'sTrebuchets since the Siege of the North! But the memory came back fast: A tiny bright speck, deceptively small, that suddenly turns into a huge fireball, exploding in hot fiery conflagration around you, spreading destruction and smelly combustion oils everywhere!

Aang sent the first fireball back to sender, but the second was a near miss! We ran for our lives. The Fire Nation ship was ablaze now, but more would be coming, and with only one way to go, along the ledge, we'd be sitting turtle-ducks! Thankfully however, after less than half-an-hour, the path veered towards the Eastern side of the pass and there, we were safe.

'That was close!' Lien said, as she looked back uneasily at Ying.

Ying was panting and leaning heavily on Than, holding her swollen belly. A heavily pregnant woman shouldn't be running...

'Listen, guys, I think we should stop and rest a bit.' I said.

Ying and Than looked gratefully at me.

'Next place the ledge widens enough to let us set up camp, we'll stop,' Sokka said 'It'll be dark soon, but the quicker we cross this Pass, the happier I'll be!'

I glanced over at the Eastern Lake. The sun was low in the sky and it threw the jagged shadow of the Serpents Pass across the lake. It stretched across the water like sharp, black teeth reaching hungrily towards Full Moon Bay.

'I think we should take a few minutes to catch our breath first, Sokka,' I insisted. Ying had almost lost her husband and looked white and shaken, as well as tired. If she fainted on this perilous ledge...

Sokka glanced at Ying and nodded mutely.

It was more than a few minutes later when we started on our way, and the sun was setting. We found an ideal spot not too long afterwards. The narrow path led to a flat place on one of the wider parts of the Pass. It was sheltered by outcrops of rock and our fire would not be seen from the Fire-Nation-controlled Western Lake. Sokka thought we were about half-way across the Pass, but the opposite shore was still not visible.

Lien helped me prepare the evening meal for everyone. She then took her bowl and Than's over to where her brother was messaging Ying's swollen feet, and I carried one bowl for Ying, and my bedroll.

'Thank you, Katara, but I think you gave me too much,' she said, with a wan smile, 'It's getting difficult to eat - not much space, you see.'

I surveyed her critically. The baby seemed to have dropped into the pelvis already.

'When exactly is your baby due?' I asked, as Ying took a small spoonful.

'Oh – not for another two weeks. That's what the midwife back home told me. I hope we find another good midwife in Ba Sing Se - this is our first baby and none of us really know what to do, or what to expect.'

'I see. Well, try and get some rest now. Just one last effort and tomorrow we'll be at Ba Sing Se. Here – put my bedroll under your feet. It will help. I don't need it for now.'

'Thank you, Katara. For everything,' she smiled.

'Thank Avatar Aang, too,' Than said 'Without him, we would still be stuck in Full Moon Bay.' He nodded to where Aang sat by the fire, staring at its flames.

I looked at Aang, too. There was something vaguely unsettling about the unnatural stillness of his expression. It was not the same as when he was meditating – _that_ expression was peaceful, but this was... well, it was kinda sad, but in a very restrained way. I went over and sat down by the fire too. I did not want to mention Appa, for he seemed annoyed when we did.

'Than and Ying seem to be in quite good spirits, considering our narrow escape from that ship,' I started 'They wanted to thank you for leading them across –'

'The journey isn't over yet.'

'Yes, but today went well, so I was kinda hoping ...' I stumbled to a halt, remembering what he had said about hope, earlier.

He did not answer, but continued to stare at the fire, perfectly still, his face betraying nothing of what he was thinking. Usually Aang's face is always so animated, so _alive_ ... but now, the only thing that moved was the firelight reflected in his eyes: a tiny, flickering flame that failed to warm them.

'Aang, what are you thinking about?' I felt at a loss how to take this. 'You – you should be glad now. Tomorrow we'll be at Ba Sing Se and you can –'

'I'm not thinking,' he cut across me, 'And tomorrow we need to cross the rest of the Pass.'

He stood up and walked away.

I stared at his retreating figure until he was swallowed up by the gathering dusk. I felt like I had been talking to a stranger. I knew why he walked away – he thought I was going to mention Appa. But we are going to Ba Sing Se to _find _Appa. Of course, we need to get the message about the eclipse to the Earth King, yet Appa is there, too. Why doesn't he want to talk about him? Is he scared to hope? Is he scared that he will not find him?

I got up and followed Aang. He was standing on an outcrop of rock staring across the Eastern Lake as it disappeared into the nightfall. He heard me come up behind him, but did not turn round.

'You know, it's o.k. to miss Appa,' I started. 'What's going on with you?'

Aang didn't answer me, but I saw him shift slightly.

'In the desert, all you cared about was finding Appa, and now it's like you don't care about him at all'. I walked up and stood beside him, silently praying he would not turn away again.

'You saw what I did out there,' Aang said, finally, in a low voice. 'I was so angry about losing Appa, I couldn't control myself.' He hung his head in shame. 'I hated feeling like that,' he added, and a note of anger crept into his voice. Anger aimed at himself.

I realised then, that the spectre of what had happened in the desert still haunted him. He was keeping a very tight control over his emotions, because he was afraid of hurting others, if he lost control again.

'But now you're not letting yourself _feel_ anything,' I protested.

Perhaps he also thought that by dulling his emotions like that, he could numb the pain of his loss, too. That had never worked, for me. Even though the pain of losing my mother, and later, when my father left, have remained embedded in my heart, I cannot imagine it any other way. It would be heartless not to care ...and Aang had a heart of gold - I couldn't bear to see it turn cold and unfeeling.

'I know sometimes it hurts more to hope, and it hurts more to care,' I lowered my eyes, trying to control the quiver in my voice, for the hurt was very real, 'But you have to promise me that you won't stop caring'.

I looked up, desperately wanting to see a return of the old Aang. I didn't want to see him turn into this cold, emotionless stranger with no heart. It is only human to feel - and feel strongly - even if it does lead to mistakes and regrets sometimes. It is what makes us human and Aang is no exception, even though he _is _the Avatar. His rage and pain in the desert, even the unthinking and foolish things he said and did, are part of being human and he should stop blaming himself.

I wanted to explain all this and more, but the closed expression on his face made me forget what I had to say. He looked pale beneath the moon now rising over the lake, and all I wanted to do was make him feel better. And perhaps words would not do.

'C'mon, you need a hug,' I said, holding out my arms.

Aang turned towards me, but his closed expression did not change, nor did he approach me.

'Thank you for your concern, Katara.' He bowed politely and then walked away.

My arms dropped limply to my sides and I stared after him as he melted away into the night, feeling as though the earth had slipped from beneath my feet. Aang had gone and it almost felt as though someone else stood in his place – someone so cold and formal that I struggled to believe this was the same person. I remembered it had been difficult to recognise Aang back in the desert when Appa's loss had sent him into a spiralling crescendo of fury – but somehow, this was _worse_! I was shocked and worried.

Aang had suppressed his feelings to the point where he was becoming numb. I _knew _something was wrong with him. These last couple of days he must have been going over what happened in the desert and blaming himself for it! The way he bowed and politely thanked me for my concern sent shivers down my spine that not even his full-blown rage in the Avatar State had! I cannot believe this is the same Aang who cried so helplessly in my arms barely two days ago!

Perhaps I should have seen this coming... I knew those tears had been wrung out of him because of the fear of what his uncontrolled rage had almost done. It would have been a guilty burden even for seasoned warriors, but for Aang it was worse. Aang's upbringing among the monks was so different ... he had been shocked enough at the havoc wreaked by the Ocean Spirit at the Siege of the North, and there, in the desert, the death-toll would have been his alone to bear.

Only now, what will happen if he continues to insist in suppressing all emotion? Will the sweet, sensitive guy I have come to know and care about disappear forever?

I went back to the fire and spread out my bedroll, which Than had returned. Ying was asleep, exhausted. Sokka was nowhere around, and Suki had lain down on her mat with her back to us. Given her tense and tightly-hunched position, I don't think she was asleep. Than and Lien were holding a conversation in a hushed voices, and Aang had gone back to staring at the fire, completely ignoring me.

I took out my little Earth Book and have been recording the day's events and confiding my worries to it, but I can't stop glancing at the figure of Aang sitting in tightly-controlled stillness by the fire. What will happen to him now? My words have had no effect, and he politely refused to hug me.

That little detail has been burning inside my head more than it should.

Did I do something wrong?

Perhaps I have. Perhaps I shouldn't have said that. Looking back, I must've sounded as if I thought a hug would 'make everything better' like one would comfort a child. And a child Aang is NOT. In fact, he has come out of this experience in the desert alarmingly focussed and serious. Perhaps he was offended I trivialised the problem when I said that…

Or perhaps he simply doesn't care anymore.

After all, although I asked him to, he did NOT promise to never stop caring. Could it be that it is already too late, and he has numbed his heart and mind already to the point of not caring for Appa or for anyone? I don't want to believe that! Not Aang! He can't have suppressed his feeling to the point where they've disappeared!

But then... he pointedly refused to hug me...

I was so sure he cared for me... that I meant more than just a friend. But now, perhaps even that is gone and he has become a stranger. A stranger who can have no place in his heart for me... that would only get in the way of accomplishing what must be done...

That sounds exactly like what I was telling myself, some weeks ago... it feels like a century ago now. _"Aang is the Avatar and nothing must come between him and the focus on his duties_ I was telling myself – and the evidence of it lies written in this little journal. And yet now I find myself resenting what I wrote and resenting seeing it applied to Aang! I suppose I'm being completely selfish and unfair, but Aang's uncaring attitude is worrying me on so many levels.

Of course, I could be as usual reading more into this than there is, and Aang's coldness is just a temporary defence mechanism against the sorrow of his experience... I just have to hope that it will pass, and Aang returns to his usual self. I hope that we reach Ba Sing Se safely, and I hope that we find Appa there. And give the message to the Earth King.

Whatever anyone may say, _hope_ has kept me alive and helped me survive the desert. It will see me and the others over the Serpent's Pass, too. And hope will sustain me as I wait for Aang to turn back to his true self. He _has_ to... he just has to...


	41. Chapter 41

_A/N Due to a week-long CPD course next week I will have no time to beta the next chapter in time for posting, but I hope to be on track the following week.  
_

**184 th day of our journey. We have crossed the Serpent's Pass, but the journey was a frightening one. Part of the Pass had collapsed into the lake, remerging some hundreds of yards away. I bent the water into a protective bubble so we could cross to the other side along the bottom of the lake, but a Sea Serpent broke through it and it was only Toph's quick action that saved us. She earthbended us out of the water onto a little island. **

**There, however, we were attacked by the Serpent. Aang distracted it while I created an ice bridge to take the others across. Then Aang and I concentrated our efforts on the serpent, creating a whirlpool that finally stunned the creature so that it slunk off back to the depths.**

**We were all shaken by our close shave with death, but soon after we saw our first sight of the distant shore and the end of the Serpent's Pass. Only, there was one more unexpected delay. This time, it was not something fearsome or dangerous – it was on the contrary, something beautiful: Ying suddenly went into labour and we had to stop until the baby was born. I delivered a beautiful baby girl and both parents are doing well.**

**We are staying here with Ying And her baby until she is recovered from the birth. The Avatar, however, is going on to Ba Sing Se ahead of us, hoping to find Appa by the time we get there.**

**Ying and Tahn have decided to call their daughter 'Hope.'**

So much has happened this morning! And my fears of the previous night are unfounded. Aang has gone on to Ba Sing Se to look for Appa, but before he left, he said something that made me cry with happiness.

Even now, when I think about his words to me, I feel all choked up with emotion, for those words assured me that Aang hasn't lost that sweet, sensitive nature I've got to know so well, that he's still the same guy, and that he still ... well… that he still cares for me a lot.

It was so different this morning. Everyone seemed to be in a negative mood, somehow. Ying looked tired and apprehensive, not having slept well, Tahn looked worried, Sokka was serious and lost in a world of his own, Suki uncharacteristically silent and uncommunicative and Aang ... Aang was focussed only on the way ahead, showing neither eagerness nor reluctance about it. And as for me, I felt unaccountably sad, as well as worried. Even Lien and Toph must have caught the negative vibes from everybody else and were both rather subdued.

Aang was just as polite and coldly formal as he had been yesterday – it was as though he was pushing me and everybody else away. Even the fun-loving part of his personality seemed gone, left behind in the desert sands ... there were no silly, dangerous antics or absurd games, no funny stories or attempts at making us laugh ... he spoke only when spoken to or when he needed to communicate something to us as he led us along the Serpent's Pass.

I was scared to think that the personality change could be permanent. With his duty to bring peace to the world as Avatar, he needs to _feel_ the world's joys and sorrows, to _understand people_, to be able to keep balance and harmony.

On another, less important level, I missed Aang already and I knew I would do anything to snap him out of his self-imposed emotional isolation…..I was so preoccupied that although I heard Ying groan softly several times behind me, I did not think more of it than the strain of the journey, for now the path, instead of winding in and out of the jagged peaks on a level plane, was following their contours, so it was a steep climb up and then a rapid jog down the other side.

Instead, I should have seen the signs. Several times I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me and looked round to see Ying wincing in pain, but she always assured me it was just the baby kicking hard, or a wrong step that jarred her swollen belly.

However, at around mid-morning, we all had something else to focus on: as we came down the next sheer slide we saw the Serpent's Pass disappeared under water, only to re-appear at a distance of a few 100 meters .

We gathered at the water's edge. I could see the others look on in dismay at the water and heard several gasps and sighs of dismay. But I knew what I had to do. I was a _waterbender!_

'Everyone single file!' I shouted.

I wasn't going to let this place beat us. I had done this before, back at the North Pole, though I was alone on that occasion. I strode forward and lifted up the water in curving walls about me and started walking along the lake bed, forming a bubble around me and everyone else behind me. But there were a lot of us.

**'**Aang, I need help.'

I was rewarded with a small smile as he handed his staff to Toph and started bending the water too, catching on fast. Our spirits lifted for the first time that day as we saw that we were overcoming even what the Serpent's Pass had to throw at us. I was just thinking that the ominous words graffitied on the Gate to the Serpent's Pass must have been referring to this collapsed bit of the Pass, and that it had been overly-pessimistic – I mean, even a non-bender could _swim_ across...but then, suddenly, a large, black shadow swam past the bubble we had created.

Next instant, that thing had crashed right through our capsule of air, and water rushed in at great pressure, knocking me over – it was only Toph's quick thinking that saved us! She earthbended us straight up and out of the water, onto a little island where our attacker was soon revealed to be an enormous Sea Serpent! It reared up, out of the water, the jade-green and purple scales on its long and sinuous body glinting in the morning sun. Opening its whiskered snout, it screeched angrily, revealing rows of sharp teeth in its maw that confirmed it was carnivorous. And it was eyeing us, its prey, very hungrily through the slitted pupils of its reptilian eyes!

Suddenly the words 'abandon all hope' seemed far more justified than I had first thought.

It lunged forwards and Aang blasted it quickly backwards. 'I'll distract him,' he yelled as he took off on his glider 'Katara, get everyone across!'

There was only one way across now – going underwater again was not an option. We were already half-way on our little island, so I quickly built an Ice bridge to connect us to the rest of the Pass and urged everyone forward. Aang was being chased by the Serpent. He was leading it away from the ice bridge, but it reared ever and ever higher out of the water, only barely missing him – how much serpent was there beneath the waves? I formed an ice platform around my feet and bending the water around me, skated forwards towards the serpent. I tried freezing huge sheets of ice around it, but its body seemed endlessly long and it twisted itself free, shattering the ice. I had to think of some other way…

I skated away, its narrow head following me, then it caught sight of Aang and twisted the other way, crashing through my ice bridge, not knowing which of us to attack first.

'It's too big – I can't freeze it – I can't even see where the rest of it is!' I shouted to Aang over the creature's enraged screams.

'Watch out!' Aang warned, for the Sea Serpant, hearing my voice, had turned to me again. Aang glided close it its head, distracting it once more.

'It can't attack both of us at once,' he shouted, landing lightly on the water's surface, using his glider's speed to aid his momentum 'Let's confuse it further!' and he used that momentum, aided by airbending, to circle the serpent at enormous speed so that it could barely keep up. The water spun round too.

I caught on quickly, and started skating around the creature myself, bending the water to create a vortex that pulled the water into a huge, swirling whirlpool. The creature was caught in that inexorable, circling current. It tried to squirm out, but Aang and I circled faster and wider, so that finally the Sea Serpent, too, was turning helplessly in the middle of the whirlpool. We had finally confined it, but I was hoping it would get dizzy, for we couldn't keep this up forever. My prayer was answered by the serpent itself, for it hit its head against the rocks and stunned itself, disappearing beneath the waves.

'Grab hold!' Aang flew above me on his glider, matching his speed with mine.

I reached up and caught hold of front of the glider and was soon lifted off my small ice platform and into the air.

'We did it!' I said, breathlessly.

I was elated as I felt Aang's powerful airbending currents swirl around me, lifting me higher. These currents were more noticeable around the smaller glider than on Appa's saddle, where the great bison's airbending created an area of relatively still air. The few times I had hung on to the glider it had always been at the tail end, and I had never realised just how strong the uplifting air currents beneath the glider's wings were: like a sustained up-wind. My hands, next to Aang's, tightened on the smooth wood of the glider as we gained height. I saw Sokka, Toph and the others far below us, cheering. They had made it to the other side.

'It won't re-appear again in a hurry,' Aang agreed. 'But we need to move on, now.'

We had just defeated a hundred-foot serpent, yet his face, only inches above mine, was impassive. Even the usual transparent, gray clarity of his eyes was gone and an unreadable expression was in them.

'Hey, Aang –' I looked up at him, 'We ... we work well together, don't we?'

I don't know what made me say that. I don't think I was referring to our encounter with the Sea Serpent, only. I suppose I wanted to elicit some response from him – some sign that he still cared for me. Thinking back, I suppose I was subconsciously thinking about when we used to 'dance with water' so harmoniously during practise and had first felt that there was something more between us…

His eyes flickered down to mine briefly and we overshot the place where the others were standing, waiting for us to land.

He banked sharply to the right to get us back over the Serpent's Pass, then he slowed down and brought the glider gently to a halt over the path where the others were waiting for us. I let go and landed lightly on my feet, and Aang landed a few seconds later.

'Yes, Katara, we always did,' he said, without looking at me.

Then he snapped the glider shut and joined he rest, leaving me there looking at him and wondering why he had used the past tense...

Suki, Lien, Tahn and Sokka crowded round me, saying it had been a remarkable feat of bending. I smiled and pretended to be very pleased, but my previous elation had been short-lived. I glanced over at where Aang was matter-of-factly describing what had happened over the water to Toph, who, for some reason, was soaking wet.

'We need to get a move on now,' he said when he finished, pointing down the path towards the next steep climb.

The whole group was chattering and talking excitedly as we made our way down the path to the next steep incline. We had had a narrow escape and everyone was in high spirits at our lucky escape. Even Ying, though pale and shaky at what I thought was the terrifying experience, was smiling and discussing the serpent.

'It will be one heck of a tale to tell our son or daughter!' Tahn was telling her excitedly.

'That Serpent was even more frightening than the Fire Nation's legendary dragons!' she laughed, then winced and massaged her swollen belly 'Laughing hurts' she explained ruefully.

We were quite a noisy group as we travelled up the next high peak, for everyone was in a good mood. Everyone, except Aang and myself. Actually, Aang's mood was neither good nor bad – he was….calm – or else he was trying hard to be. As for me, I was worried that if he tried hard enough, and for long enough, Aang would end up hiding behind a callous unfeeling wall until his sensitive nature would atrophy into nothing.

Secretly, however, I felt fairly sure there was still hope. I thought I caught a glimpse of it in his eyes up there when I was with him on the glider hanging between earth and sky. I thought I had seen a flicker of something that was far from indifference There was still a wealth of emotion deeply buried in Aang, and I knew that I had to find a way of reaching him. I had to, before it was too late! I couldn't bear to see him like that – I would rather he yelled at me angrily, like he had in the desert, than this cold indifference! I resolved to speak to him again the moment I found the opportunity.

The last few peaks of the Serpents' Pass were very tough going for they were steep and difficult to climb. Ying had long since fallen silent, for it was hardest on her, though at that point, we still did not know to what extent.

'There's the wall!' Sokka shouted, suddenly 'Now it's nothing but smooth sailing to Ba Sing Se!'

I gazed into the hazy distance and there, across a stretch of barren waste ground, was a long wall that seemed to disappear endlessly to the left and to the right as far as we could see.

That's when I realised what I should have realised long before, hadn't I been so distracted– Ying suddenly doubled over in pain, clutching her belly and said the baby was coming. Tahn and Lien eased her to the ground as her face contorted in pain.

Sokka, of course, panicked: 'What? _Now?!_ Can't you hold it in or something?'

'Sokka, Calm down,' I said stepping forward 'I helped Gran-Gran deliver lots of babies back home.'

'This isn't the same as delivering an arctic seal! This is a real... human... thing!' Sokka yelled.

'It's called a _baby_, and I helped to deliver plenty of those, too,' I told him.

Tahn looked worried and bewildered, Lien looked scared and I remembered they had told me they didn't know what to do. Well, the baby was coming, whether they were ready or not, as babies always do, so there was nothing for it, but to help Ying through it. We would need at least the bare essentials.

'Aang, get some rags. Sokka, water,' I ordered. 'Toph, I need you to make an earth tent. A big one.' Everyone jumped to do what I told them (most people find it uncomfortable doing nothing while someone else is in so much pain, so they were eager to help). The tent was ready in a second and the only one not doing anything was Suki. Good, both she and Lien could help me.

'Suki, come with me,' I ordered, and she followed me inside.

'Tahn - you cushion her back. Suki, help Lien loosen her clothes. Ying, I need to have a look and see what's happening. You've had contractions for some time now, haven't you?'

Ying looked at me through pain-hazed eyes and nodded. 'Yesterday, I didn't know what they were. I thought it was just the steep climbing and being so tired. They weren't so bad then, but today, I – I think the baby will come by the end of today ... aaaaaah!'

Her voice was lost in groan as another contraction took hold. It lasted many seconds. She fell back against Tahn, exhausted, when it was over.

I had finished my examination. 'Ying, you should have spoken sooner! You're in active labor, and getting close to the second stage!'

'What's that?' Tahn asked in bewilderment as he took his sleeping mat and put it behind Ying's back.

'That your baby will be born in the next few hours.'

Ying looked at me, her eyes wide and fearful. She had been told that her baby would not be due for another two weeks, so perhaps she had not recognised the signs immediatley. Lien gently covered her with a blanket as Aang came in and silently handed me some torn-up sleeping mat and sheets then went out again.

'Don't worry, Ying. It will all be worth it in the end – all the women I've helped Gran Gran deliver say so. Actually – they don't even _need_ to say anything, just looking at them as they hold their baby after is ... well, it's indescribable!'

Ying nodded bravely and even managed to smile, but next instant another contraction left her gasping in pain. It lasted almost a minute.

'This is so much worse,' she bit out, her forehead beading with sweat. 'I suspected something was happening this morning, but the pains weren't so close together, or so bad...'

'Why didn't you say you were in pain, dear? You kept telling me it was nothing,' Tahn chided, leaning close to his wife and wiping her forehead tenderly.

I looked round at the tent opening behind me – we' needed fresh water, but Sokka had to walk back down to the lake. I would've wanted him to heat it if he could, but now there was no time.

'I didn't want to worry you, Tahn – and then there was that Sea Serpent. I was just hoping to get out of the lake alive...I think the shock didn't help though. Perhaps it precipitated things.'

'Listen, Ying,' I said hurriedly, for I knew things could start moving pretty fast now. She had apparently been in active labor for longer than I could have thought possible without anyone noticing. In part it was my fault, too - I should've seen the signs, but I was too preoccupied with my own troubles. 'I need you to concentrate on what I'm telling you now. Everyone else, listen up too.'

Ying nodded and I explained exactly what was going to happen and what I needed them to do when the time came. I had to stop several times, as the contractions momentarily took hold of her and demanded all her attention, but they all listened carefully and, I think, understood what I was saying. This was just as well, for soon the contractions were coming fast and furious, and Ying was completely out of it.

I told Tahn and Lien to cushion her back and hold her in the right position.

'Hold her a bit further up, like that – gravity will help,' I instructed, 'Suki, you hold her leg, and Ying – you have to get ready to push when I tell you!'

The earth tent was soon filled with Ying's stifled groans and panting breath. Tahn was wide-eyed and worried, but did what I told him to, even though Ying was, by now, unaware of his presence, too lost in the twisting pain in her abdomen. But she was lucky to have her husband by her side. The last baby I helped Gran Gran deliver was Tutega's, back at the South Pole, and Tutega had been alone. Her husband had left to join my father's fleet, so it had been a bittersweet experience for the mother. That was only a day or two before I left home myself to start my own adventures. I never dreamed I would be in this situation again.

This time, however, it was going to be a happy occasion. I was determined I'd have a blissful and complete family at the end.

Unlike Tutega, this was Ying's first baby, so things were not so easy for her, but finally the transition into second stage was complete and I knew it was only moments now.

'That's it, Ying! You're almost there – we've got crowning of the baby's head now! Breathe deeply and push only when I tell you to!'

Ying gasped and started panting fast, sweating profusely. She was very close now and I needed that water. It would only be a short time before the next huge contraction.

'It hurts. It hurts _so bad_. Oh, I just want it to be _over!_' Ying moaned.

'You're doing great, Ying,' I turned my head to the tent entrance behind me 'Sokka! Where's that water?' Ying's face grimaced in pain 'Get ready to push. One, two, three...PUSH!'

Ying cried with the effort and with an almighty heave, the baby's head appeared and, at the same time, I heard a dull thud behind my back. From the corner of my eyes I saw Sokka sprawled on the floor in a dead faint behind my back, my water skin in his hands. I would have rolled my eyes if it wasn't for the fact that I had to focus on what was happening. I checked to see if the umbilical cord was around the baby's neck, but all was fine. Well, at least I had my water skin now.

'Ying – you're almost there, just one more push when the next one comes, ok? Suki, when we're done, can you drag my brother out of here?'

But Ying was in the throes of another contraction and Suki was bracing her leg as Ying bore down to push her baby out. It did not take long and soon a little girl slipped out into the wide world.

Dark eyes peered in bewilderment at the strange new world around her, and tiny fingers opened in a perfect miniscule gesture. I cleaned her up quickly and soon she was howling lustily in protest.

Wrapping her in the torn sheet Aang had given me, I handed her over to Ying.

'You have a daughter,' I whispered to Tahn and Ying.

This was my favourite part of the whole childbirth – there is something so ethereally beautiful in a mother's expression when she first sees the child she has carried around for so long and holds it in her arms– it is indescribable: a mixture of wonder, and joy, and above all: _love_: unquestioning, fierce, protective love for the helpless little thing she cradles. I have seen it time and again whenever I helped Gran Gran deliver a baby. It is an instinctive maternal feeling, and is always there, whether it is the woman's first baby or her tenth, and it always brings tears to my eyes and a warm feeling deep within me.

Tahn was crying freely, but did not seem aware of it as he watched the precious bundle of life in Ying's arms. His daughter had quietened down now in the warmth of her mother's arms, and was awake, dark eyes blinking in wonder at the strange new place.

Suki and Lien staunchly helped clean up and dispose of the afterbirth and make Ying more comfortable.

'It's a girl!' I shouted, so the others outside could hear. Sokka wasn't in the tent anymore, so he must have crawled out at some point.

A few minutes later he appeared at the tent entrance, together with Toph. The baby gurgled and then shut its drowsy eyes, exhausted after the ordeal of coming into the world. Her parents' heads were bent over her protectively, still looking amazed at what had just happened.

There was only one person missing.

One person who, perhaps, out of all of us, knew least about motherhood, never having had a mother to remember. But it was one person who should, at least, see what a mother's love looks like – it is unforgettable. Just as unforgettable as seeing the tiny little newborn: a bundle of miniature perfection, and the sign of a new life beginning.

I went to the tent opening and found Aang sitting just outside, staring rather sadly at nothing.

'Aang, you have to come see this,' I said.

I was hoping the sight of the new baby would move him – or perhaps the sight might jog a deep-buried memory of a mother he never really knew. Anything, to bring to the surface the feelings I knew he had buried in him. Everyone was crowded around the little baby, now sleeping peacefully, and everyone was in awe of the little thing.

'She's beautiful,' I told the proud parents. She was. Every little bit of her. Aang couldn't possibly remain cold and indifferent in front of the wondrous sight of this new family!

I looked up, trying to judge his expression. He seemed surprised at first and stared at the little scene in silence for a few seconds, but then, finally, his fixed expression softened and the hard lines of his face melted into a bittersweet smile. I breathed a sigh of relief - the Aang I knew was still there.

**'**What should we name her?' Tahn was asking.

'I want our daughter's name to be unique,' Ying told him, then she looked down at the sleeping child in her arms, a tender love shining in her eyes and giving her pale face a special glow. 'I want it to _mean_ something,' she added.

Aang's face had softened into a sincere smile as he looked upon Ying and the child she cradled so lovingly in her arms, and he had tears in his eyes as he stepped into the tent.

'I've been going through a really hard time lately,' he said, softly 'But you've made me... hopeful again'.

Ying's eyes widened. 'I know what I want to name our baby now,' she said 'Hope.'

Tahn agreed 'That's a perfect name. Hope.'

I looked round and saw Aang still smiling – but this time, he was looking at _me_.

Relief and a myriad other emotions flooded through me for, in that brief glance we exchanged, I could see the light of new hope in his eyes, and the warmth that I had missed so much.

Just then, baby Hope started whimpering and rooting around and Ying asked for help to get the baby to start feeding for the first time. When she had latched on, I looked up to see everyone had discreetly melted away except Tahn, who was still entranced, looking at his daughter, and Lien, who was quietly preparing some more water and cutting up more rags for diapers at the back of the rock tent.

'Let her feed as much as she wants, then try and get some rest if she sleeps.' I told Ying. 'You need to recover now. I'll be outside, if you need anything.'

I left the new family to get used to each other and went outside. Sokka, Toph and Suki were in a group, talking excitedly and laughing (I think Sokka was the one to bear the brunt of their jokes, because of his earlier fainting fit). Aang wasn't with them.

I frowned, looking for him. I spotted him in the distance sitting alone under a tree. Why wasn't he with the others? Surely he hadn't retreated back to his protective, emotionless shell? I felt a tremulous apprehension wash over me – please, _please _don't let him do that, I remember telling myself. I missed his true nature so much ... I missed his warmth, his liveliness, his caring ways, even his silly jokes and antics...I missed _him_.

I walked towards the tree where he was. Aang saw me and stood up, but I slowed down to a halt. If I saw a cold formality in those eyes again, I knew I'd be devastated.

But with a few swift strides, Aang came towards me and I knew, immediately, that it was not so. He stopped and looked at me for a few seconds without saying anything, but his eyes were not expressionless or cold – there was a touch of remorse in them , but mostly, they were alive with a warmth that had been so sorely missing. It felt like a breath of fresh air.

'Why are you here alone?' I asked, gently.

'I wanted to speak to you. I – I thought you'd come. I've told the others I need to go ahead and look for Appa while Ying recovers. He needs me.'

I smiled 'I'm glad to hear you say that. You had me worried these last few days, Aang.'

'I'm sorry, Katara, I don't think I can ever apologise enough for what I put you through –'

'Hush! Don't apologise! You don't need to. I'm just so glad ...so glad…' I stopped, not knowing how to express, in words, the relief and happiness I was feeling. 'When you were so cold and distant, I was afraid I … _we…_ had lost you.'

'I thought I was trying to be strong, but really, I was just running away from my feelings,' Aang admitted remorsefully, hanging his head.

But then he looked up at me and when he spoke again his voice was firm:

'Seeing this family together, so full of happiness and love, it reminded me of how I feel about Appa...' he said, lowering his eyes with a small smile.

Then he paused and looked up again, fixing his eyes on mine:

'... and how I feel about you.' he added, softly.

The happiness welling up inside me overflowed. I felt all choked up, overwhelmed, and couldn't say a word. Tears of joy trickled down my cheek and at that moment, I didn't care about all the promises I had made to myself about risking our friendship, I didn't care about the mission, or the duty of an Avatar, or anything else: this was _Aang_, and he was telling me that he cared for me! Nothing else seemed to matter!

He opened his arms and I fell into them with a sob I did not try to hide. I hugged him tight trying to tell him, without words, just how much I had missed him – just how afraid I had been that I would never hear he cared about me, or anyone, ever again! As I clung to him, I remember feeling immensely happy - I wasn't thinking about _what_ he felt about me – the fact that he felt anything at all was already a big relief.

I heard footsteps coming up to us and slowly and reluctantly pulled away. There were a million thoughts crowding my mind – things I wanted to tell him now before the others came up– I wanted to tell him how proud I was of him, how relieved I was to see him back to his old self again, how his words had made me happy and how I felt about him too...

I wanted to tell him all that and more, but intensity of what I was feeling choked the words in my throat, so I just straightened his collar with a simple, caring gesture that I hoped he would understand, as the others came up to us.

'I promise I'll find Appa as fast as I can,' Aang said, as Toph handed him his staff 'I just really need to do this.'

'See ya in the big city,' my brother interjected, cheerfully.

Toph punched Aang in the arm, 'Say hi to that big fuzzball for me.'

'You'll find him, Aang,' I said gently, putting my hand on his shoulder.

'I know. Thank you, Katara' he said, with a warm, grateful look that spoke volumes.

Then there was a strong blast of wind and he was off, Momo flying at his side. Soon, he was a tiny speck in the distance heading towards the walls of Ba Sing Se.

I've been spending my time writing this account, since there is nothing much else to do, for Ying and baby Hope are both asleep. A few hours of rest will do them good and help them recuperate from the birth. We do not have enough food to stay here longer than one night, so tomorrow, at the latest, we must head to Ba Sing Se. When Ying wakes up, I'll see if she is ready to move around a bit. That will help.

Aang has been away for an hour at least. He should be at the wall by now – I hope he finds Appa soon. It can't be that hard: Appa's one-of-a-kind and not a small elephant-rat: he should be easy to spot, or at least to learn his whereabouts.

My head keeps on going back to Aang's words: ..._how I feel about you_. Those words wrung tears of joy from me, and triggered such an intensity of feeling that just made me hug him like I would never let go. It was an overwhelming feeling of _caring _for Aang….of caring so much that it _hurt_ in its intensity.

And I think I understand now, why yesterday night he refused to hug me: he was afraid that, letting me get that close, like Appa, would make a separation more difficult.

My own words to him then came back to me: '_I know sometimes it hurts more to hope, and it hurts more to care_'. I had been speaking about Mum and Dad then, but now, I'm just realising that I was subconsciously thinking about Aang, too, when I said those words.

But with Aang, unlike my Mom and Dad, there isn't the distance of years to dull the pain of hurting, should something come between us …

I can't ever imagine us separating now. Physically or mentally. Even these couple of days of Aang's forced estrangement have felt so weird and sad. I'm glad everything he is back to normal. I feel closer to Aang, now, after the turmoil of these past days. I could tell when he hugged me. The level of intensity of the feeling between us was even more than the one that had once sent me running away from Aang in the Kolau Mountain range, confused and scared and excited. Only now it's different. Now it is unequivocally a love made stronger by our trials – and I don't even want to think about what _kind_ of love it is: I don't even care, right now, whether it is a romantic love or a familial one, on Aang's part or on mine – all I care about, right now, is that it is _there_, stronger than before!

I never knew I could care for anyone with such intensity... given the implications of my own words, it is almost frightening!

Baby Hope is crying now. I'd better go and see if they need anything.


	42. Chapter 42

**184 th day of our journey. Outer wall; Ba Sing Se. We thought that after crossing the Serpent's Pass the rest of the journey would be smoother and safer, especially considering we now had a newborn baby in tow, but it turned out to be anything but that.**

**The Avatar came back from his search before we had even got to Ba Sing Se. He said that a huge Fire Nation Drill machine was threatening the impregnable walls of Ba Sing Se and that we had to try and help the Earth Kingdom soldiers stop it.**

**When we arrived at the walls, Aang and Toph earthbended us to the top of its sheer, 100 yard-high face. From that vantage point, we could see exactly what the Avatar meant: it was metallic and enormous; had a drill-bit at its nose, and was bearing down on the walls of the city. **

**We hurriedly said goodbye to Tahn and his family and consulted with the commander in charge of the defence of the walls of Ba Sing Se, General Sung.**

**At first he refused our help, but soon came round when he saw what he was up against. The Drill was commanded by none other than Azula and those two deadly girls!**

**Sokka had an idea of attacking the drill from the inside, so with Toph's help, Sokka; Aang and I managed to sneak inside its metal belly where we proceeded to try and put it out of action permanently by weakening a series of metal braces inside its hull. The idea was for Aang to then deliver the final blow that would destroy it, but unfortunately, we were discovered before we had finished the job by Azula and her cronies. Sokka and I escaped via the slurry pipe which I then tried to dam up with Toph's help, increasing the pressure inside the drill. Aang, with Azula on his heels, went to the top of the metal monster and finally managed to strike the blow that destroyed the drill, so that the whole thing fell spectacularly apart in a mixture of steam and slurry.**

**We are now hosts for the night here in General Sung's headquarters in the Outer Wall. He is very grateful for what we did and has already sent word to the Inner city of our arrival. **

**We will be leaving the Outer Wall for the city with the first monorail train tomorrow.**

After the perils of crossing the Serpent's Pass I wasn't thinking we'd be plunged right back into such a dangerous situation! My mind was very far away from Fire Nation drill machines, or impregnable city walls, or even our mission in Ba Sing Se this morning... Instead, I couldn't stop thinking about what the young Airbender had come to mean to me and how closer we had grown in spite of ( or because of?) our ordeal in the desert and its lingering effect.

Now that we were across the Serpent's Pass, Suki has left us, saying she has to rejoin the Kyoshi warriors. She looked radiantly happy before she left, and I don't think that's due to the long trek that lies ahead of her along the Outer Wall to the Ferry Landing on the opposite side of Full Moon bay...I think a lot of it has to do with _Sokka_.

Lien told me she saw them kissing...

These past two days I was too preoccupied with Aang to pick up more than some vague vibes, but I did get the impression that there were some issues between my brother and Suki: times when they seemed uncomfortable with each other. I remember finding it strange, for Suki seemed quite taken with my brother, and Sokka isn't one to hold back when a pretty girl's around, judging by what he'd done to impress that dim-witted Earth Kingdom girl last week. Of course, in part, his behaviour that time could've been in reaction to the still-painful loss of Yue. Hadn't my mind been on other things, I would've confronted Sokka about it, but it seems that in the end, he and the Kyoshi Warrior resolved their differences...

I'm glad for him. Perhaps this means he's gotten over Yue, and Suki is a thousand times better than that silly, nameless, girl 'Avatar Sokka' dated! Suki's strong, independent, and, most important of all, has a good heart. She likes Sokka for who he is, rather than for being the Avatar or even the Avatar's friend (Given how Suki first met my brother when he was at his most obnoxious, sexist self, testifies to that!)

It is a pity she had to leave – I'm sure she would've done Sokka a world of good to have around!

Ying and her newborn slept for a whole two hours and woke up refreshed. Tahn came out of the tent to tell me she was already moving about.

'I was thinking that perhaps it's better if we move on,' Ying told us 'I feel fine. I would rather make my way to the city, than linger here till tomorrow. It will be safer for Hope behind the walls of Ba Sing Se.'

Tahn tried to reason with her, but she insisted she was ok with travelling, that she was used to it and that she actually felt less tired now, than when heavily pregnant.

'Ok then, but we'll move slowly with frequent rests... I don't want you fainting, Ying.' I said doubtfully, but Ying reassured me once again that she was fine and anxious to get her baby to safety.

So we set off, adapting our pace to suit the young mother. Baby Hope was asleep, lulled by the rocking motion of Ying's steady pace. Everyone was silent, so as not to wake her, and my mind drifted back to Aang's words to me just before he left, and the intense surge of emotion that had overwhelmed me then...

Since the first day I met him, Aang had always meant something special to me – of course, during the first few days, a lot of it had to do with him being the avatar… how could it be otherwise, after a 100 years? But that soon changed, and now, many months later, I find that what he means to me is so much more than a fascinating legendary being; so much more than even family; and so much more than a mere crush …

What he means to me is something I'm reluctant to admit, even to myself, because if I do …. If I do, things can never be the same between us, and I'm afraid of losing what we already have, on the chance of finding something better …

Suddenly, all my old doubts and fears crowded back into my mind – but now they were further complicated by the fact that Aang had actually _said_ he felt something for me…

However, I didn't have time to dwell on what he told me for long... we had only been walking for an hour or so and were within a mile from Ba Sing Se's outer walls when Aang glided in and landed in front of us, a serious expression on his face.

He explained what he had seen, much to our consternation.

'Like a metallic centipede-bug with a huge drill at the front?' Soka mused 'That thing sounds vaguely familiar. I need to have a look at it.'

'There are Fire Nation Tanks, too,' Aang explained 'they look like fly-specks compared to that machine!'

'Oh, my!' Ying said, with a horrified look, 'Is it close to us?'

'No, further West. C'mon - we need to get to there before the drill machine does!'

'Avatar Aang, I – I'm not sure my wife can outrun that machine!' Tahn started.

'Don't worry – it's so big and heavy that it's really, really slow. It's just that... once it starts grinding its way through that wall...'

Aang's ominous words hung between us, and of one accord, we hurried our pace and, an hour later, were at the wall.

'What d'you think, Toph?' Aang asked as the enormous walls of Ba Sing Se towered far above our heads, over a 100 yards high 'Shall we earthbend our way through this?'

Toph was pushing her bare feet sideways into the ground in that strange way she has when she's 'feeling' what's around her.

'Nah – that'd take longer: this isn't any old wall. I have a better idea, Twinkletoes - remember when I taught you to raise earth columns beneath your feet?'

Aang nodded.

'Well, we need to do that again – but this time with a difference. Listen closely...'

She explained about earthbending a detached column right up the sheer height of the outer wall, using the wall itself to hitch it upwards. I didn't quite understand what she had in mind, but Aang did, for she had taught him well.

'Ok, I gotchya!' he said nodding 'let's do this!'

They told us to position ourselves right beneath the wall.

'We'll start off slow till you get the hang of it – we mustn't tilt the platform or everyone'll fall off!' Toph said.

But we needn't have feared: with Toph on one end and Aang on the other end of the stone platform, we made our way up the wall: slowly at first, but then shooting straight up like an arrow along its surface.

When we were nearly at the top, we saw it: like a black, gleaming, Prickle-snake, the metallic monster moved ponderously, but steadily, towards Ba Sing Se, the sun glinting off its pointed snout! I had never see anything so big that moved on land - it was immeasurably larger than the Tank Train that had once chased us, and, like Aang said, the tiny little Tanks that accompanied it looked ridiculously small in comparison, like children's toys...

We arrived at the top of the wall and climbed down onto a wide open space. Toph had been right - judging by the breadth of the space, Ba Sing Se's Outer Wall was thicker than any I had ever seen. A stiff breeze was blowing at this great height and the view was incredible – bare, yellow-brown rock twisted into canyons and low hills stretching for miles and miles before us, but our eyes were drawn to the dark menace now approaching ever closer.

'What are you people doing here?' a voice spoke sharply behind us 'Civilians aren't allowed on the wall.'

Two Earth kingdom solders were looking at us somewhat incredulously.

'I'm the Avatar,' Aang replied, in a firm voice, 'Take me to whoever's in charge!'

They looked at each other doubtfully, and for a moment I thought they would say something about him being another 'avatar in costume' like the ticket lady, but my brother intervened before I did.

'He could _show_ you he's speaking the truth,' Sokka remarked menacingly, 'They'll scrape you off the wall later...'

One of them whispered something to the other.

'Uh... General Sung is just over there. We'll accompany you.' The two soldiers indicated a building with many large, open archways spanning the whole wall and then led the way.

General Sung was a late- to middle-aged man with a pronounced stoop, dressed in a very impressive and elaborate armour.

We introduced ourselves and Aang said he had come to help out with the Drill machine heading for the wall.

'Avatar, I have heard remarkable tales of your exploits and that of your companions,' General Sung said, smiling 'It's an honor to welcome you to the outer wall, young Avatar, but your help is not needed.'

We thought we hadn't heard well. But he assured us he had the situation under control and got up, indicating we should follow him outside.

Just then Baby Hope started crying and General Sung paused.

'This is no place for civilians, especially babies,' he told Tahn and his family, rather pompously. 'I will have you accompanied by some of my men to the station to the East of the wall. There, you can board a train to the inner city.'

Tahn and his family thanked him and we bid them farewell.

'I hope we meet again in the city,' Ying said, with tears in her eyes 'You've done so much for us...'

'We'll come and find you,' Tahn agreed, enthusiastically 'It should be easier for us to find the Avatar, rather than the other way round.'

But before we could do more than reassure them we would see them again, the soldiers ushered them away and we followed General Sung onto the windswept Outer Wall.

He explained he had sent an elite platoon of Earthbenders, called the Terra Team, to stop the drilling Machine. We leaned over the wall to watch the action.

The Terra Team were indeed, very capable earthbenders, working in highly-trained unison to use their bending to maximum effect. The Fire Nation Tanks were no match for them, and they broke through them effortlessly, up-ending many of them and destroying others.

But the enormous drill itself was another matter.

They tried halting its progress by wedging jagged pillars of earth against it.

It was useless. Then ….we weren't _exactly_ sure what happened, for it was too far away to see, but the Terra Team seemed to suddenly drop down as they stood. General Sung was looking at the attack through a telescope and whatever he saw made his eyes widen in panic.

'We're doomed!' he shouted, flailing his arms.

How did this guy ever become a General? At the sight of the first set-back he went to pieces. He had no back-up plan, no sound strategy and no guts! I saw the soldiers around us looking at him wide-eyed and fearful, wondering what horrors he had seen through the Spy-glass.

Even without a warrior's up-bringing, I could see that for a leader to show that amount of lack of control and fear, could easily result in the troops' morale plummeting.

'Get a hold of yourself man!' Sokka, who _did_ have a warrior's upbringing, slapped the General into showing a bit more backbone.

General Sung apologised and meekly asked for the Avatar's help. Then he went to organise another platoon to go and retrieve the fallen Terra Team, while we pondered on how to stop that drill. Actually, we waited for Sokka, as the 'idea guy', to come up with a plan.

'So I'm the only one who can ever come up with a plan?' Sokka complained 'That's a lot of pressure.'

But I know my brother – he _will_ rise to that kind of challenge, especially with the overt praise attached. And in fact, later on, he _did_ come up with an idea. We had been taken in to see the retrieved Terra Team, who were lying helplessly on beds, unable to use of their arms and legs. General Sung, who had regained some composure, was scratching his head and looking at the strong but helpless bodies of his elite team.

'I feel very weak, and I'm sure I can't earthbend, General Sung...' one of them said.

'General, with your permission, I will examine him. I'm a healer and his symptoms are familiar,' I intervened.

General Sung hastily nodded and I knelt down at one of the Terra Team's bedside, bending some water into my hands and letting the energy flow from me into the water so that it glowed.

I let it flow onto the Chi pathways of the fallen warrior, but I found exactly what I suspected: the energy did not flow smoothly to join that vital force pulsating within the muscled arm of the earthbender, because there was _nothing there_ to join to!

'His Chi is blocked,' I told them. 'Who did this to you?' I continued, addressing the earthbender.

'Two girls ambushed us, one of them hit me with a bunch of quick jabs, and suddenly I couldn't earthbend, and I could barely move...and then she cart wheeled away'

'Ty Lee,' I said grimly, 'She doesn't look dangerous, but she knows the human body and it's weak points. It's like she takes you down from the inside.'

My words gave Sokka the idea of attacking the drill from the inside out, finding its weak spots. It was a great plan and soon we were huddled around the table thrashing out the details for Sokka's plan.

'We need to get inside that thing without being seen,' Sokka said thoughtfully. 'Best way would be from beneath because...' he paused, as if in thought '…. because I've just realised why that drill is so familiar: back at the Northern Air Temple, Teo's dad had a blueprint of something that looked very similar in shape...'

He faltered to a halt as he realised – we all realised - that it could very well be that he had seen the plans for the construction of this thing!

'Well, ya gotta admit, it's one heck of a great machine!' he said, undaunted by our dark looks. (My brother has a thing for machines and similar contraptions).

'Anyway,' he continued hastily, before we jumped down his throat, 'I never examined the blueprint carefully of course, but I do remember seeing a labelled series of inspection joints on its underside. That's where we go in.'

'And I can raise a dust-cloud cover,' Toph added impatiently 'So let's get going, already. That drill's nosing real close, now!'

General Sung and his soldiers took us down an internal staircase within the wall structure and earthbended us out of the outer wall. We took cover in the Terra Team's abandoned trenches. We were very close now and I could feel the vibrations from that drill just like Toph could. She next earthbended an enormous cloud of dust and debris and we ran straight at the front of the drill. Actually – we were following Toph, for only she could tell were our relative position to the drill was, then she earthbended us into a dark hole in the ground right in front of the Drill's path.

Being in that dark, airless hole, waiting for that gigantic metal monster to pass right over us was, ironically, an eye-opener for Sokka and I: this was how the world was for Toph: dark and vibrating with sound. These were vibrations even _we_ could feel, for the drilling machine was a thundering and rumbling over our heads. Aang, who had been taught to listen to the earth, was used to it, but I was glad I wasn't alone in that the hole, and that it was comfortably big, otherwise it would feel pretty much like being buried alive again.

When Toph finally earthbended us out, we found ourselves beneath the metal monster's belly. Sokka spotted an opening, and Aang went up then hung upside down from the pipework and held out his hands to help me up. Next was Sokka, but Toph didn't want to come where she couldn't bend.

I had never seen a machine this big or this complicated: inside pipes; valves; and engines hummed and throbbed, moving the machine forward on its giant treads. Needing some schematics of the drill, Sokka caused a fault in one of the pipes and when the Engineer came down to fix it, I froze him into submission and we stole his plans.

The plans were quite intricate, but my brother has a knack for figuring them out, and he explained our position and what we had to do: cut through the braces that connected the inner mechanism with the outer shell and the whole thing would fall apart. Simple.

Or so we thought.

When we finally stood in front of one of the massive braces, we knew it was NOT going to be simple. They were at least two yards of solid metal in cross section!

Nevertheless, we started trying to cut through using a Water-lashing bending technique. Aang and I stood on either side of the metal brace and swung water between us, hitting the same spot over and over again, weakening it. Slowly, our water started cutting through the brace with regular sharp metallic sounds that rang loudly in the enclosed space. Not loudly enough to drown out my brother's cheers for 'Team Avatar' however (ever since he learnt of the 'Terra Team' he's been trying to coin a name for us).

Unfortunately, when we finally cut through, the brace slid a few inches and stopped – it was nothing like the damage Sokka had anticipated.

I was exhausted: 'At this rate, we won't do enough damage before the drill reaches the wall.'

Aang had flumped down onto the girder, panting. 'I don't know how many more of those I have in me,' he admitted.

Then, with an ominous shudder, some overhead speakers announced contact with the Walls of Ba Sing Se. It was as I had feared – we'd failed to inflict enough damage before contact! There was a sense of let-down as so many people were depending on us – Ba Sing Se was the only unconquered city in the whole Earth Kingdom– we couldn't let this happen! A deep, grinding sound was vibrating through the metal contraption now. It wasn't any louder than the clanging of metal upon metal of the many mechanical moving parts around us, but its relentless hum was more menacing than everything put together, for it was the drill biting into the walls of the city! Then Aang, inspired by something Toph said, got the idea of just weakening the braces instead of cutting right through. The whole drill would be weakened and at the end, Aang would deliver the final blow that would bring it crashing down!

I liked the plan- we could still stop the drill before it penetrated the wall completely!

We set to work immediately, the steady grinding hum of the drill lending an added urgency to our Water-lashing. With the same energy we spent on cutting one of them we managed to damage five or more of those braces, so, less than an hour later, I calculated we had gone through almost all of them, but before we could go on to the last few, blue fire lit up the dark space and almost hit Aang!

Azula and the other two girls had found us!

I suppose looking back, we should've realised someone would notice the damaged braces (or else, the Engineer thawed out quickly in the hot air of the metal hull and sounded the alarm). In any case, we were soon running desperately down the corridors. I remember being absolutely adamant in not letting that acrobat girl anywhere near me again... I wanted to keep my bending this time!

Aang was ahead, but he stopped where the corridor divided in two, one leading to the rear and one to the front of the machine.

'Guys, get out of here,' Aang said confidently, heading down the corridor that led to the front 'I know what I need to do'.

'Wait!' I shouted taking off my water skin 'You need this water more than I do!' And I hurled the pouch at him. He caught it deftly and ran off. I knew he would try to deliver the final blow to the weakened drill, and I had complete faith in him, but those three girls made me nervous. I just hoped they would follow _us_ and leave him alone, even though to fight properly I needed a source of water...

At that moment, I completely forgot that together with the water pouch I had thrown Aang was my little earth book and all my writing stuff... not that it would have made any difference...

Sokka opened a hatch leading to a slurry pipeline and that's how we got out of the drill – floating out on a mound of sludgy muck from the drilled wall, battered and bruised by the pebbles and rocks in the slurry. We slid to a halt in a puddle of mud and I saw Ty Lee, who had followed us down the pipe, emerging from the slurry outlet, eyeing us eagerly. Well, I wasn't going to allow her anywhere near me this time! The agonising time I had spent thinking my bending was gone was still fresh in my mind! I bended the water in the slurry so that a huge wave of it rose up and swept the girl back inside the Drill's rear end. Let her try to do her acrobat circus-tricks while embedded in the thick gunk!

**'**Why don't you try blocking my Chi now, circus freak?' I shouted vindictively at her.

I hoped she would come out of the sludge as black and blue and as bruised as I was: this was pay-back time, for I hadn't forgotten how she took my bending away!

'Katara, keep that up,' Sokka shouted. 'The pressure will build up in the drill, then, when Aang delivers the final blow, it will be ready to pop!'

Well, he needn't have told me that. The look of dismay on Ty Lee's face was incentive enough. I derived an unholy pleasure from seeing her trapped like a bug in a soup, unable to move – that would give her a taste of her own medicine!

Then Toph came up and together we bended the earth and water in the slurry, sending the whole lot of it back up the outlet. This was followed by the stridulate sound of protesting metal, and the straining and groaning of the pipelines as the pressure built up.

A few minutes later, Toph shouted 'The drill was just pierced through the Outer Wall! I can feel it.'

'Aang, where are you?' I muttered.

'The pressure's building up nicely – the backflow must've reached the front part of the drill already!' Sokka commented, and he was right, for the sound of protesting metal pipework was audible even over the noise of the machine itself.

'Pity it won't be enough to cause an implosion, unless Aang triggers that,' he added.

'I hope he didn't tangle up with that Azula!' but before I could continue, there was a scream of metal giving away under stress, and the muffled crash of the metal girders and braces inside giving way. The drill ground to a halt as the crashing sounds from inside its great belly continued. A series of explosions followed in rapid succession, with slurry under pressure being hurled outwards from cracks in the hull.

Aang had done it!

'Here it comes!' Toph shouted as she earthbended us out of the way of a great gout of slurry that gushed out of the rear of the machine, followed, seconds later, by a huge avalanche of the stuff, not only from its rear, but from its sides. The metal plates that made up the hull came apart, allowing the trapped slurry to gush through from all the joints. Something large carried along by the overflow of slurry hit the column we stood on with a sickening thump. At first I thought it was a rock, but when some of the gunk had slid off it I saw Ty lee, winded and semi-conscious.

'Let's go find Aang!' I told the other two, for I had spotted Azula on the top of the drill, 'I wanna see if he's ok!'

'Yeah, we shouldn't hang around,' Sokka agreed 'Princess Blue-lightening Fire is on her way!'

Toph and I cleared a path in the slurry and we all ran for it as Azula slid gracefully down the hull to where her fallen friend was. Steam from broken pipes was hissing everywhere above the broken machine, now half-buried in mud and silt. From inside the cracked hull we could hear the confused shouts of the Fire Nation men who manned the drill. Fire Nation Tanks were rallying forward to help their fellow soldiers, but were finding it difficult to make much headway through the thick slurry.

A tiny sludge-figure was on top of the foremost section of the drill. He waved, then airbended himself down, dripping mud. There was a wide grin on his face as he landed.

'You did it, Aang!' I cheered, as we ran up to him.

'Way to go, Twinkletoes!' Toph nodded approvingly, 'Took you all long enough though – I thought you'd never come out of that thing!'

'We got held up. Azula sure knows how to kick butt with that lightning! Here you go, Katara!' And Aang took my water skin from under his short cape where it had escaped most of the mud and handed it to me. I breathed a sigh of relief to see it intact.

'So I was right,' I said, as I slung the pouch around me 'Azula _was_ after you – she's as bad as her brother!'

'Something tells me she's even worse,' Aang replied ruefully 'Remember how she attacked her own Uncle? She didn't seem to even _care_ - ' he stopped and glanced in my direction, then away again quickly with an involuntary shudder.

I knew he was thinking of what he'd been like over the Serpent's Pass and the promise he had never actually made to me, about caring. But Aang could never be like Azula even if he tried: there's an inner core of sensitivity, of knowing _what's right_, that can never be suppressed. I know that now.

'If we don't get a move on, you can tell that to Azula straight to her face,' Sokka interrupted urgently 'One of the tanks has reached her, and she'll be straight back on our tracks!'

'Let's go, Twinkletoes! Let's bend some wall!' We ran squelchily after Toph back to the wall, but before Aang and Toph could earthbend us up the wall, a small opening appeared at its base and General Sung's men ushered us in. We found ourselves at the bottom of the narrow staircase within the wall structure. Part of it had been damaged when the drill penetrated the wall, but it had been hastily patched up and on the last step, we could see the stooped figure of General Sung himself, his face liberally smeared with slurry.

'Avatar – you have saved us! Please accept my deepest gratitude! I witnessed your brave fight against the Fire Lord's daughter – it was awesome! She almost killed you at one point – but it was still awesome! Such strong power; such quick moves; such imposing bending of the elements, such ...' General Sung seemed to have run out of superlatives '… such... _courage_!'

'Yeah, well...uh...I'd said I'd help,' Aang said, modestly, 'But now we have to be on way to-'

'The sun is setting and the last train to the Inner Wall has left. Please do accept my own humble quarters for the night for you and your friends. I have already sent a message ahead to city officials so that tomorrow they will ... uh ... prepare for your visit.'

We looked at each other. Aang seemed a bit disappointed, but then he shrugged. 'Okay, thank you for your offer, General Sung. When will the first train leave tomorrow morning?'

'At eight o'clock. My men will escort you to the Monorail station after breakfast.'

_Humble quarters_ the man said. 'Humble' my foot! They were not palatial, but still, they were very luxurious and large, like a mini-palace within the Outer Wall. They made General Fong's quarters back in the Eastern Earth Kingdom seem like nothing more than a crude soldier's cubby-hole by comparison. They brought in four feather-beds, a sumptuous evening meal and perfumed oils. After our long trek in the desert, I admit I'm looking forward to sleeping in a proper bed…

'No wonder he's grateful for what we did,' Sokka remarked, wryly 'Look at what he stands to lose if he's demoted!'

'Well, at least we can freshen up a bit!' I headed straight for the gleaming marbled bathroom: I was feeling slurry-dust in places it shouldn't be, and the rest of it was caked dry on my clothes and hair.

I also wanted a bit of time to think.

Something the General said has worried me. Aang had almost been killed by Azula (Of course, General Sung may have exaggerated. The way that man speaks, I sometimes wonder whether he has actually ever been involved in any _real_ battle, apart from today! If _he_ was the one in charge when the Dragon of the West laid siege to this place, no wonder the wall was breached!) All four of us have had some very near misses, especially with Zuko and Azula after us, and Aang is no different, but I can't help thinking about Avatar Yangchen's words in the book in Wan Shi Tong's Library ..._In this state, the Avatar is at her most powerful, but also at her most vulnerable, for if killed in the Avatar state, the reincarnation cycle will be broken, and the Avatar will cease to exist'_.

Aang has no control over going into the Avatar State, and I'm wondering if I would be doing the right thing in telling him... it would certainly put more pressure on him if he knew he might be risking the end of the whole Avatar cycle every time he goes into that state, especially when he can't help it, anyway.

It's bad enough thinking about the fact that he could be _killed at all_, whether in or out of the Avatar State... it is something my mind just _refuses_ to contemplate: Fate has saved Aang from most of the 100 year war, and I cannot believe he could die now.

Still, I suppose I will have to tell him, and tell him very soon. He should somehow try not to go into the Avatar state needlessly, if it carries such a high risk. We'll be in Ba Sing Se tomorrow - there, at least, we will have gained a few days of peace without crazy Fire Nation royals chasing us... I will tell him then. He'll need to know, especially if we are going to attack the Fire Nation on the day of the Solar Eclipse.

After we washed off the caked slurry (even Toph had to admit defeat and head for the bathroom) we went up on the outer wall to see the aftermath of our sabotage attack. Sokka had instructed the General and his men to continue throwing rocks and attacking, because it would make the Fire Nation Tanks retreat more quickly and salvage very little. In fact, the Tanks rescued the engineers manning the drill, and nothing else. They retreated pell-mell into the distance, leaving the broken drill, like a squashed centipede-bug, beneath the outer wall of Ba Sing Se.

We could see the dust trail of the surviving Fire Nation Tanks far in the distance as they disappeared towards the setting sun. Sokka was on a high – pleased by the outcome of his plan and of his proud status (now further confirmed) as the 'plan guy'. He still hadn't given up hope on finding us a Team name and came up with a lot of crazy names. One of them was 'Team Avatar'.

'Enough with the Team Avatar stuff,' I told him 'No matter how many times you say it, it's not gonna catch on!'

Secretly, however, I like it. Whether it catches on or not, that's what I feel about us four now: we're a _team_! And after what we've been through the past days, Team Avatar can handle _anything!_


	43. Chapter 43

**185 th day of our journey and the first in the city of Ba Sing Se. We arrived quite early in the morning, after a rather long, but uneventful, train ride form the Outer Wall. Ba Sing Se is a huge city. Much, much larger than Omashu or any other city I have ever seen, and it has walls – many of them! Apparently, they are designed to separate people according to social status. The excuse is that the walls keep order within the city. We were met at the station by Joo Dee, a government official designated to be our host, but actually intended, as we found out later, to keep control of our movements; who we speak to; and what we say. She insisted on a tour of Ba Sing Se rather than an urgent meeting with the Earth King.**

**We have been given a house, no. 217, in the 96 th district of the Upper Ring and Joo Dee has told us our plea to see the Earth King will be processed in a **_**month's time! **_

**The Avatar said that if we are to stay here for so long, then we should look for Appa. We searched all afternoon for the Avatar's bison (accompanied by Joo Dee) yet we had no luck. **

**No-one seems to know about the war or else they are too scared to mention it. There is something very weird going on in this city of walls and secrets! **

Two powerful earthbenders moved the four stone carriages along a monorail: they were very comfortable inside and not at all crowded: there were a few refugees; a couple of nuns from the infirmary, and some farmers. The monorail soared high over agricultural land that stretched for many, many miles between the Outer and Inner wall of Ba Sing Se. It was fascinating to see how fertile and green this land is when compared to the arid plains beyond the Outer Walls...

We had been travelling for hours, and though comfortable, sitting in one position can be tiring – when travelling on Appa's saddle we could, ( most times, at least) just decide to set him down where we could stretch our legs a little, but this stone carriage would not stop till we were in the city.

So I was very happy when I finally saw the Inner Wall in the distance, but Aang, who was sitting next to me, was getting progressively quieter. This struck me as odd – with our difficulties behind us and Ba Sing Se ahead of us, I thought he would be happier. But after a cursory glance out of the window at the approaching Inner Wall, he slumped back in his seat, a slight frown on his face.

I knew that what was uppermost on his mind was not the Earth King, or the Solar Eclipse, or even any plan for defeating Ozai. What was on his mind was finding Appa!

'Don't worry Aang, we'll find Appa,' I told him.

'It's such a big city,' he said, sadly.

'He's a giant bison!' Sokka exclaimed, coming over. 'Where could someone possibly hide him?'

Just then we where plunged into the dark tunnel that passed through the Inner wall. I didn't say anything - I tended to agree with my brother. Appa was huge and one-of-a-kind. Even if he was kept hidden in stables somewhere, his whereabouts would be known to all. With so many false Avatars with false gliders running around, everyone in the city is sure to recognise Appa as belonging to the Avatar, and people talk, so I was fairly sure we'd pick up his trail within hours of arriving in the city...

I couldn't understand Aang's attitude, but the next instant we were out in the dazzling mid-morning sun and I heard Sokka's sharp intake of breath as he leaned out of the window. I stuck my head out too, and as my eyes adjusted to the light I felt my mouth drop open. My first glimpse of Ba Sing Se felt as if I was gazing upon an endless ocean of houses! Brown-tiled roofs stretched for miles in every direction, as far as the eye could see – some high, some low; some were new, others dilapidated and old, but they were everywhere. The only thing relieving the sameness were curved walls that partitioned sections of the city, and the monorail itself, which still soared high above thousands and thousands of green-and brown-roofed houses and buildings.

'Oh' I heard Sokka mutter.

Aang was right – this city was big. Big enough to hide a Giant Bison - easily.

'Have you been here been here before, Aang?' I asked.

He shook his head. 'No. But I've flown over it. You can see it's enormous, even from the sky, so I knew we'd have a problem, but up close... well...it looks even bigger!'

'It's kinda impressive...' Sokka's voice was tinged with admiration.

Toph made a sound of derision. She hadn't moved from her seat and seemed completely unenthusiastic to be in the city we had almost lost our lives to get into.

'What? Don't you think so?' Sokka glared at Toph 'I can describe it…'

'Don't bother. I know exactly what it looks like. I've been here plenty of times before. My father had a bunch of influential friends he insisted we visit...'

Toph went back to caressing Momo, who had fallen asleep on her lap, with a scowl on her face. She always looks like that when she mentions her parents.

I looked back out of the window. Our carriages were heading for an impressive building in the distance. That would be the station and our stop, according to General Sung's description.

Aang had a slight frown on his face as we approached our destination and I couldn't help feeling apprehensive ... and also a bit lost. In such a huge place, where would we start looking for Appa? I had no doubt the Earth King would be easy to find, but a flying bison, especially a _stolen_ one, would be another matter. This was not some small Earth Kingdom town where everybody knows everybody else, and rumours about a stolen unusual beast spread fast. I glanced at Aang. Judging by the strained look on his face, that is what he had been thinking all along. No wonder he was so quiet.

The only one who seemed enthusiastic about the city was Sokka.

When we got off, the station itself was as impressive as a small palace. We could only imagine what a _real_ palace here would look like. Despite my misgivings, I couldn't help but be amazed at the sight. The only one who wasn't impressed was Toph.

'Just a bunch of walls and rules,' she said 'You wait; you'll get sick of it in a couple of days.'

The station was high above the city, on the same level as the monorails. Aang had gone to the balcony overlooking the sea of buildings and he had the bison whistle in his hands. It was heart-rending to see him putting it to his lips, silently calling his lost friend - there was no familiar, answering rumble from the teeming city below.

I went over and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

'He's here,' he said, staunchly 'I can feel it.'

That silent whistle had an incredible range, and even though none of us could hear it, Appa always had. If he was here, then he wasn't free to fly to us. I knew that is what Aang was thinking.

'Hey, guys, I think our welcome party has arrived,' Sokka cried.

We looked round and saw a young woman crossing the rail and coming towards us. General Sung had mentioned they would send someone to greet us.

'Hello, my name is Joo Dee,' she said with a wide smile that somehow rubbed me the wrong way. I soon realised why – the smile did not quite reach her eyes.

That was not the only unusual thing about her. Sokka told her about our urgent message for the Earth King about the war, but she insisted on a tour of the city instead. It seemed as if she wasn't hearing what we were saying, and her strange, wide smile never faltered.

'You're in Ba Sing Se now. Everyone is safe here,' she said 'Follow me, Avatar, your carriage awaits you.'

Completely put off-balance by the surreal situation, we followed her out of the station and into a carriage drawn by an Ostrich-horse.

'Perhaps it's a custom or something,' I whispered to Sokka.

He shrugged, clutching his bag of maps and scrolls impatiently as the carriage creaked into motion.

We started from what Joo Dee explained was the Lower Ring. It was overcrowded, with many brown-roofed, dilapidated buildings. The many people that lined the dirty streets looked poor and downtrodden. Many seemed to be travel-weary refugees or desperate-looking locals. Some of them glanced at our carriage with evident dislike. The whole Lower Ring was blocked off from the rest of the city by a large wall.

'This is where our newest arrivals live, as well as our craftsman and artisans, people that work with their hands,' Joo Dee explained ' It's so quaint and lively.'

I looked up at her quickly, but her face still had that unnatural smile plastered all over it. _Quaint and lively_?! These people were ragged, desperate, and living on the edge of poverty. Their resentful faces as we passed by in our rich, comfortable carriage spoke volumes!

'You _do_ want to watch your step though,' Joo Dee added.

'Why do they have all these poor people blocked off in one part of the city?' I asked. I thought immediately of Tahn and his family and all his hopes and dreams of making a new and better life here...

Joo Dee continued to smile, but did not answer me.

'This is why I never came here before,' Aang said, 'I always heard it was so different from the way the monks taught us to live.'

'This can't be right,' I muttered angrily. Ying and her baby and Lien... they were in there somewhere. They were poor now, but they were idealists and would find this segregation hard to accept... And like Tahn and his family, there were myriads of others...

'We are leaving the Lower Ring now,' Joo Dee explained as our carriage followed the road into a deep tunnel in the wall around the Lower Ring.

We emerged into the Middle Ring of Ba Sing Se, which was hugely different from the area we had just left. It was obviously home of the wealthier middle classes and the green-roofed houses and streets were noticeably cleaner and richer. It was the financial district of the city, as well as the centre of knowledge, for this was the location of Ba sing Se University.

'Yeah, we met a Professor from Ba Sing Se University,' Sokka told Joo Dee with a scowl, pushing his face inches from hers.' 'He took us to an ancient underground library where we discovered information about the war that is _absolutely crucial for the King to hear_!'

But Joo Dee didn't even bat an eye 'Isn't history fascinating?' she said, with that wide grin firmly in place.

Was _I_ missing something here? Or was the girl being purposely stupid? Her constant smile started to irritate me: first of all, I hate insincerity with a vengeance, and her smile was false, and her words, lies; secondly, there was something oddly vacant about her eyes. It wasn't that she was unfriendly or unlearned, but the combination of false smiles and purposeful ignorance was unsettling, and if she thought we wouldn't notice, than she _was_ stupid, too!

'It's called "being handled",' Toph explained as Joo Dee got out of the carriage to lead us to the Town Hall. 'Get used to it'.

I think Toph may be right. She's been here before, besides having had the experience of being "handled" all her life.

The Town Hall was an old, but impressive building. There, Joo Dee filled in some forms which she had Aang sign, to request an audience with the Earth King. She said that as Avatar, the acknowledgement of his request would be put on the fast track. We left the Town Hall feeling overwhelmed and downhearted by all the bureaucracy. After that, it was the Museum and a quick glimpse of the University. It would have been interesting to learn all about the first settlers of Ba Sing Se and how they lived in catacombs underground, mining the green light-giving crystals, but my mind was now more on our mission, especially when we passed through yet another wall and found ourselves in the Upper Ring, where the King's palace was.

The Upper Ring was a beautiful place of rolling hills, with landscaped gardens and parks around the richly-decorated, yellow-roofed houses, and the most imposing building of all was the Royal Palace. It was guarded by sinister-looking men, the Dai Li or guardians of Ba Sing Se's traditions, as Joo Dee explained. I found it strange to have the Palace guarded by members of the Cultural Authority, rather than soldiers, but this city was like no other I had ever been to, and 'cultural authority' must have a different meaning here.

Our carriage slowed down a bit as we passed by the palace.

'Can we see the King now?' Aang asked, thinking perhaps that our request back at the town hall had made it to the King's ear. But he was disappointed:

'Oh, no!' Joo Dee exclaimed with a weird combination of raised eyebrows and plastered smile 'One doesn't just _pop_ in on the Earth King.'

We watched the palace recede in the distance as our Ostrich-horse passed by it at a leisurely pace. I was getting seriously irritated by all the bureaucracy, and even more so when in early afternoon, a messenger arrived just as Joo Dee was showing us into our new home. The message said that our request for audience with the King would be put through in a _month's _time!

At that point, all I wanted to do was to go inside our new home and, for a while at least, not have to see Joo Dee's unnatural smiles anymore!

To be completely honest, the house she said would be our home was actually quite beautiful, like all the houses of the Upper Ring. There were 3 bedrooms and a large, well-furnished split-level living area. But even as I thought of how comfortable we'd be living here, my conscience gave a guilty twinge as I thought how Tahn and his family must be struggling...

I resolved to go look for them as soon as I could (after all, we're here for a whole month at least). Perhaps I could help them somehow...

Aang, of course, thought about finding Appa. We could concentrate on that now, but apparently, I wasn't going to get rid if Joo Dee's false smiles so quickly She insisted on accompanying us...

Like a shadow with an oversized grin, she was always behind us, listening in ... Sokka thought the best to start would be Pet Stores, especially the less renowned ones with exotic animals to sell – they would know where illegal trade in animals took place, but we had no luck. Then we tried Ba Sing Se University. Here we met Ziyang, a Geography student. He knew a lot about the Si Wong desert, but surprisingly nothing about Sandbenders or desert merchants and where they could be found. He suggested we speak to Professor Zei...

Sokka lost it then – he's been burning with the desire to get on with his plan to attack the Fire Nation:

'Right. And which of your professors could we ask about the war with the Fire Nation?!' he yelled.

I could see Ziyang's eyes widen with fear. But he wasn't looking at Sokka.

'He's been warned not to say anything,' Sokka whispered in my ear, as Ziyang got an excuse and hurriedly disappeared. 'I saw Joo Dee shake her head at him.'

'The Pet Store guy seemed pretty uncomfortable, too. I thought it was because he was afraid of being implicated in any black market dealings...'

'Nah – he was uncomfortable right from the start. I could feel him shaking. Ziyang, too,' Toph, who had heard us whispering, came over. 'They're afraid of _her_. Joo Dee! She must be working on the behalf of someone powerful.'

'We gotta get rid of her;' Sokka scowled 'we'll never get to the truth otherwise!'

'Where shall we go next?' A voice behind us made us jump.

Joo Dee had come up to us, still smiling brightly.

'Uh... home, please.' Toph said 'I'm tired.'

'Home?! But it's still early!' Aang had come over, a puzzled look on his face.

'Aang ...' I stopped him with a quick look. I indicated Joo Dee with my eyes, and he nodded imperceptibly, catching on quickly.

'That is a good idea,' Joo Dee's smile widened, and for the barest second, I got the impression that the smile was genuine and she seemed relieved. 'Come, let's go.'

She left us in the front porch of our house, still smiling determinedly, and said someone will be over with dinner later. As her carriage rolled away we noticed someone peeking surreptitiously from the window in the house opposite ours.

Time to get to know the neighbours.

His name was Pong and even though we had barely been in the city for a day, he had heard about the Avatar being in town, yet turned immediately defensive when Sokka mentioned the war. He said mentioning the war is prohibited, and warned us to be careful of the Dai Li.

We trooped back inside, feeling definitely disgruntled with this weird city.

'Why is mentioning the war prohibited?' I asked, throwing myself down on one of the luxurious mats in the living room. 'I just don't understand it.'

'Yesterday, the war almost broke through their walls on the back of that metal drill!' Sokka exclaimed 'How can they _ignore _something like that? I have a feeling the Dai Li are behind this'.

'These people are scared of something,' Aang added frowning 'but it doesn't make sense.'

'When I was here, they told me it isn't polite to mention the war, but I never thought much of it at the time.' Toph said flumping down on the mat next to mine.

'We need to get Joo Dee out of our hair tomorrow' Sokka said, crossing his arms determinedly 'I suggest we start _at dawn!_'

'At dawn?!' Toph scowled.

'Or earlier. We need to uncover some of this city's secrets without her shadowing us, or we'll never complete our mission-'

'Ok, ok. Dawn it is. Now, where's that dinner?'

'Yeah, right. I forgot –I'm starving!' Sokka went to the window and right on cue, another Ostrich-horse appeared at our front door. Three men with a selection of trays came up to our house.

It was a great meal - even better than what General Sung had offered us, and immensely better than the bare essentials we'd had for many days past. The men said they'll return in the morning with breakfast, and if there was anything else we desired, all we need do is tell them. Aang tried to strike a friendly conversation with them, but they avoided his questions, saying they had to hurry back and continue their chores. Joo Dee had taught them well...

The food was very good. Sokka stuffed himself like an arctic Hippo! I found it restful not to have to worry about food, or even prepare the meal, but I warned myself sternly that this isn't a holiday- it was a guilty pleasure to eat well and live well, when there were so many refugees struggling to make a living in the Lower Ring...

'What are you doing?' I heard Aang ask curiously as he saw me put away some small, but exquisitely-good pasties in a napkin.

'Tomorrow, if there's time enough, I thought of going to see if I can Find Tahn and Ying and their family. These are for them,' I explained 'Perhaps there's a way of tracing new arrivals, even if they don't have a Passport.'

'It'll be like finding a snowflake in a snowstack,' Sokka remarked with his usual anti-optimism, 'I'm off to bed now. I'm taking the biggest bedroom at the front. You girls can share.'

'Aang takes the biggest!' I retorted heatedly 'After all, we're treated like royalty because of him, and-'

'It's ok, Katara,' Aang said, placatingly 'You know me – I don't care where I sleep – usually, I just curl up on-'

He faltered and I knew he was about to say 'on Appa's legs'.

'Anyway, I don't mind. Really.' he ended sadly, with a glance at the darkening sky beyond our window.

Sokka shrugged. 'See ya all at dawn!' he yawned hugely and heading for the large bedroom.

'Looks like you and me have to share, Sugar Queen!' Toph said with a grin as she stood up. 'Hope you don't mind my snoring.'

'You don't snore. Only my brother does!' I glared at the closed door.

Aang chuckled and Toph's grin widened, but I was disgruntled at Sokka's high-handed way of taking the biggest share of the house's comforts.

'Well, I'm off to face an uncomfortable night on a feather-bed,' Toph sighed, as she turned to the door on the left, 'I'll miss my good old earth-beds: they're so much more comforting.'

'Goodnight, Toph.' Aang had curled up on the window ledge.

I knew he would try the Bison Whistle a few more times before he turned in. I turned to follow Toph.

'I'm sure we'll find him. This was only our first day,' I told him encouragingly, with my hand on the door of the bedroom.

'Yeah. I'm sure we will – we have a whole month here.'

'Goodnight, Aang.'

'Goodnight, Katara'

His smile was the last thing I saw as I closed the door. My lips stretched into an answering smile in the darkness of the bedroom. Aang has a way of smiling at me, sometimes, that's different from the way he smiles at others. It's kinda difficult for me to put my finger on _what, _exactly,is different, because Aang is one of the smiliest people I know, but when it's me, his smile is somehow...well..._personal_, in some way.

I felt a rising blush suffuse my cheek and was really glad of the dark bedroom. Then it struck me that this was the first time we had slept in different rooms – usually 'Team Avatar' ate together, slept together and worked together.

It feels a bit unusual to be cut off from the others by walls. Though, perhaps it _is_ better to establish a minimum of modesty - when I lit the green crystal lights, I found Toph already fast asleep in nothing but her undergarment.

Perhaps Sokka's not as oblivious as I think he is. After all, he was the one to chide me once about running around in my Sarashi….

The beds are really, really, comfortable! I will sleep well tonight. It's useless feeling guilty about our privileges. The best thing to do, when we finally get to meet the Earth King, is try to make him change the way a large part of his people are living, enclosed by a wall. Tomorrow, after all, is a new day.

**186****th**** day of our journey and the second in Ba Sing Se. We have searched the city once more for the Avatar's lost bison, or anyone who can have heard or dealt with Sandbenders or merchants from the desert.**

**We were accompanied by Joo Dee, and our search was, once again, fruitless.**

She was waiting for us in the morning, before the sun had even risen.

'I suspected you might want to start early today, so I came at dawn' she said with her annoying smile which did not diminish one bit, even though we were all glaring at her.

It was a repeat of yesterday: she trailed us everywhere – pet stores, animal shows, markets... always behind us and always watchful. Today, however, I was on the watch-out and noticed quite a few silent messages passing between her and whoever we happened to be with. Everybody seemed to recognise her and everybody was afraid of her, or whoever she represented.

Apparently, mentioning the war in the Upper Ring, as well as some places in the Middle Ring, was taboo. So was communicating certain information to us. There are secrets in BA Sing Se – plenty of them, and someone was making sure we were kept in the dark!

It was a different matter in the Lower Ring. It was at my insistence that we went there towards evening. Aang had given up searching for Appa with Joo Dee in tow, so I suggested we go look for Tahn and his family. Joo Dee was reluctant, quoting a high crime rate at night, but when I threatened to jump out of the carriage and go wherever I want, she gave in.

But I had no luck either. Strangely enough, Joo Dee did not interfere this time. I suppose it is useless for her to pretend there is no war or no danger in the Lower Ring – most people ended here _because _of the war, and had not yet learned to keep their mouths shut about it – although, in truth, plenty of them were desperately trying to forget it!

And yet, of Tahn Ying and Lien and the baby there was no sign. The overworked Soldier's garrisons knew nothing, saying they only had a list of official passport-carrying refugees, and assured us that it was not the first time that they had found forged passports, too.

Sadly, I gave my gift of cakes to a couple of hungry-looking street urchins and told Joo Dee we would like to return home.

**188 th day of our journey and the fourth in Ba Sing Se. Yesterday, we attended the Earth King's party, organised for his pet bear. Actually, we gate-crashed the party, hoping to see the Earth King that way. We did not manage to speak to him, but we did meet with Long Feng, Cultural Minister and head of the Dai Li and uncovered at least one of the secrets of Ba Sing Se: the King is just a figurehead, ignorant of all that goes on beyond the Upper Ring, and true power lies in the hands of Long Feng, who wants to keep it that way.**

**We were threatened with expulsion from the city, should we try to communicate with the King. In the face of this blackmail, we had to back off.**

**The Avatar said we should concentrate on finding Appa.**

It was entirely my idea – that of gate-crashing the King's party.

Yesterday, at dawn, we told Joo Dee we would be staying at home, hoping she'd just leave us alone, but when the breakfast men came a bit later, one of them stayed behind in an Ostrich-horse carriage.

'Just in case you change your mind about going out, I will be waiting outside at your disposal, young sir,' he told Sokka.

We were still being watched.

'There's nothing for it but to go out at night, in the dark,' Sokka fumed.

'That's a great idea, Sokka – I'm sure we'll find out all the answers about Appa's whereabouts, if we find enough people _awake,_' Toph said acerbically, as she threw herself down by a platter of sweetmeats.

'It's worth a try,' Aang replied'I'm sure whoever we _do_ find would open up more without Joo Dee around'

I agreed. After all we'd all had very restful nights in luxury beds – we could afford to stay awake _one_ night. I went outside, thinking it would be a pity to spend such a beautiful day inside, when I noticed we had mail.

It was a scroll with a short summary of current events in the Upper Ring. Nominations of important-sounding people to high government positions, adverts of exclusive shops, and special events. One of them caught my eye, for the notice was edged in royal gold and green. It was about a huge party – over a thousand guests - for the Earth King's pet, a strange animal called a Bear.

I ran inside. 'I've got it!' I shouted 'I know how we're gonna see the Earth King!'

I told them we could just sneak in with the crowd.

Toph shot down my idea immediately, saying we 'simple country folk' had no manners and would be spotted immediately.

_No manners?!_ I felt my hackles rising immediately. There was a time when I _did_ feel naive and unsophisticated, but a lot of time had passed since then, and I had travelled the world and seen many cities and palaces...

Besides, this was _Toph_ speaking... the one who wouldn't even have a bath if she could get away with it!

'I learned proper society behaviour and chose to leave it,' she said, in answer to my protestations 'You never learned anything. And frankly, it's a little too late'.

Sokka suggested she teach us. He and Aang started fooling around, pretending to be high-class snobs, complete with silly accents. Toph was unimpressed.

'Katara might be able to pull it off,' she said 'but you two would be lucky to pass as busboys.'

I shook my head disbelievingly. Although I had seen with my own eyes her impeccable manners back in Gaoling, it seemed difficult to reconcile that image with the girl now lying in front of me busily picking her nose and flicking the snot off her finger onto Sokka. However, I was willing to learn.

'Yeah, well – if we're gonna do this, we'd better get started,' Toph said getting to her feet.

'It's only nine in the morning, Toph,' I said 'The party's tonight-'

'D'you know how many hours it takes to get ready for these things?' she countered 'First we go shopping.'

'For dresses?'

'Not only. D'you have make-up?'

'I had some I bought at Chin village, but that's all gone now.' They had been in Appa's saddle. 'Anyway, I don't think I have enough money.'

'Nevermind. Joo Dee mentioned our every need will be catered for, didn't she? Follow me.'

Mystified, I followed her outside.

'We need to go shopping,' she told the waiting carriage driver.

'Uh... yeah. Climb in. Your host, Joo Dee, is ...er...right round the corner. We'll pick her up and she'll guide you to the best shops in town.'

'Thank you,' Toph climbed in and I followed her.

Joo Dee literally _was_ around the corner, sitting on a bench in a small landscaped garden.

'We need some toiletries. You know - girl's stuff!' Toph demanded, in what I thought was a rather arrogant voice 'What's back at the house is not enough.'

But Joo Dee's grin only flashed wider and she seemed to expect this.

'I will be pleased to escort you to the most exclusive shops in the Upper Ring. Here –' she handed us a gold-edged card 'this is your Spending Card. Show this the shop-owner and the expenses will be charged to Ba Sing Se's 'Special Honoured Guest' accounts.'

'Thank you.' Toph pocketed the card nonchalantly.

I was a bit uncomfortable about it, but I suppose it was all for a good cause.

And that is how we spent all yesterday morning. My earlier misgivings about Toph all faded away as I expertly heard her choose and name dress items and cosmetic details that I had not even heard of. She even chose the _colors!_ Cerulean blue was refused in favour of an Ultramarine eye shadow, and the red rouge had to be a _carmine_ red. With textures and dresses she was even more confident, and, several hours and many shops later, we had loads of bundles in our hands. Joo Dee accompanied us everywhere, and when she saw we were not asking 'taboo questions' she seemed to relax a bit and her smile became a bit more genuine as she discussed fashion with Toph ( Yes – _fashion with Toph!_ Unlikely as it sounds, it turned out that Toph was knowledgeable about that, too) It was really weird hearing her discuss sleeve lengths and hair accessories instead of boulders and earth-bending moves!

In truth, I felt a bit out of my depth at the fashion-jargon. It felt as if I was back in the early months, for I never knew there was so much to the cut of a simple dress and the position and length of a hair needle!

Finally, at noon, we arrived back home. The boys gaped at our many bags of purchases, but Toph headed straight for the bathroom.

'C'mon, we've got work to do!' she said.

I had thought shopping was hard, but getting dressed was even more complicated – though kind of fun, too.

First our hair – it had to be piled high above our heads and held in place with an elaborate headdress. Toph did her own hair first, then helped me with mine, grumbling I had 'too much hair.'

Then it was the make-up.

'Tell me if I got the colors right, 'she said, and proceeded to point at each color and correctly guess what it was.

'How d'you do that?' I asked, amazed.

'I can smell 'em – they're made from particular ingredients. But they're a bit different from the ones I had in Gaoling, so I wanted you to confirm. I've been told it's disastrous to get them mixed up...'

'Yeah, well –you wouldn't want to go out with blue-colored lips...'

'I wouldn't know if they were _green,_ Katara. C'mon, let's get this stuff on our faces. Do as I do. First this one.'

I copied her, listening carefully as she instructed me on blending the colors and where to darken and where to lighten, explaining what the desired effect was supposed to look like.

'How d'you know all this Toph? I mean – it's all very _visual._'

'Mom and he other servants used to speak about what they were doing when they dressed me. You pick up stuff, even if you don't want to. That's why I'm explaining what it's _supposed_ to look like – you gotta tell me if what I did fits the description.'

'Yes, it does. Perhaps if you blend the blue eyeshadow over your left eye a bit more... it's a bit darker than on your right eye.'

'Like that?'

'You look perfect, Toph. Hey - it would be nice if we could dress like this more often, wouldn't it?'

'No, it wouldn't. I've had my fill of grooming and preening,' she said emphatically, as she slipped into her delicate, embroidered, white silk robes.

I looked at her in amazement: Toph Bei Fong, wealthy daughter of the noble house of Bei Fong had returned. Perfectly groomed and perfectly dressed.

'I guess it's not so bad doing it by myself,' she conceded 'Better than loads of people fussing around me. Well, how about you? Aren't you gonna say what _you_ look like now? I can't do it for you, you know.'

I slipped into my new robes and turned towards the large mirror. Someone else stood there. A sophisticated-looking young girl glanced shyly back at me. There was a certain poise and elegance about her that I would not find in the old Katara. I felt like a _real _girl – more feminine. The clothes were _designed_ to be feminine and they were very different from my very plain and practical water tribe ones.

'I'm...different.' was all I managed to say, unable to tear my eyes off the mirror. I even carried myself differently – it must've been the new robes, or perhaps the new height added by my high, tasselled, hair ornaments.

'That's the whole point,' Toph said 'Now grab hold -' She handed me a fan. 'I'm going to teach you how to use a fan.'

'I know how to use a fan.'

'No, you don't. It's not for fanning yourself. There's a whole secret language in how you hold the fan ... I don't want you sending the wrong message. Remember the key words here are modesty with pride, so listen carefully.'

She explained things I wouldn't have ever noticed about a simple fan – not only that, but there were rules on how to walk, how to talk, how to address different people... it seemed endlessly complicated. Suddenly, I felt a wave of sympathy for Toph – she hated all this, yet had had nothing else for most of her life...

'Think you'll remember that?' she ended.

'I'll try. It's a lot to remember.'

'Yeah, well – nothing better than some hands-on experience: let's go show those two knuckleheads out there what society ladies look like, and see what they say.'

Suddenly my heart started beating faster. What would Aang think of this get-up? I looked so different: _I_ was in awe of my own reflection – what would _he_ think?

'Are you coming?' Toph said, impatiently.

'For someone who hates dressing up you seem pretty eager,' I said, stalling.

'Well, for someone who likes it, you seem pretty nervous,' she retorted.

Next instant Toph pushed open the door and I followed her through. Aang and Sokka were playing the Four Elements game, but they both stopped when they saw us. I felt very self-conscious as I stood there, but also kind of excited – as though it wasn't me who was standing there, but this sophisticated, young, Earth Kingdom girl.

There was silence from the two of them. Then Aang got up slowly to his feet, staring at us. But it was an 'oh wow' kind of stare. Sokka mouth was hanging open, but then he got to his feet, blinked, and shook himself with a wide grin. We giggled at the boy's evident surprise.

Sokka moved away, but Aang had turned to me, still staring, and this time, his eyes were fixed on mine.

**'**Wow... you look beautiful' he said, and flushed instantly red.

If my heart was beating fast before, it was racing now, and I was glad I had an artificial blush powdered onto my cheeks to disguise the real one beneath.

I opened my mouth to say thank you – I felt it was all I could manage to say coherently, but Toph's fan suddenly shot in front of my mouth.

'Don't talk to the commoners, Katara. First rule of society,' she said.

Perhaps it was just as well – Sokka was already teasing Aang, and I'm realising Toph has an uncanny ability to guess people's moods when they're nervous or scared, and she's sensitive enough to subtle movements to know that Aang had been speaking to me .

'We'll get in the party, and then find a way to let you in through the side gate,' I said, forcing myself to speak calmly and matter-of-factly. I didn't want either of them to say something silly or tease. Not that any of them have a clue... I think.

Well, Toph _did_ have an extraordinarily smug grin on her face as we walked to the King's palace, and when I asked her what she was smiling about, she refused to say. And as for Sokka ... he has teased me before about Aang, but my brother just does it to tease.

The night air cooled my flushed cheeks and I reminded myself sharply that we were on a mission and I needed to think clearly, if I had to remember all the rules on etiquette Toph had explained.

And it was just as well that I had calmed down enough to have my wits about me, for when we got to the palace we were refused entry. Toph's Bei Fong passport was not enough, and entry was strictly by invitation.

But I had seen a carriage come up some distance away from the main crowd of guests. The guards bowed deeply when a dark shadow of a man emerged from the carriage. This was someone important. Time to see if my acting skills were anything as good as Aang's! If he could enter Omashu disguised as an old man, then I could get into the royal palace disguised as Kwa Mai, my alter-ego.

I went up to him and put on my best helpless-little-girl voice.

'Sir, I'm sorry to bother you, but my cousin lost our invitation... (_She's blind_, I whispered). Do you think you could help us? Our family's inside and I'm sure they're very worried'.

To my relief, the tall man in dark robes smiled and bowed his head. 'I am honored, please come with me.'

He had a deep, sombre voice and spoke with the confidence of the well-placed and powerful. I thought I had made a right choice in asking him for help.

Unfortunately, once inside we couldn't get rid of him. Introducing himself as Long Feng, Cultural Minister to the King, he stuck to us like a limpet, and very politely, but very firmly, insisting on finding our family.

He asked many questions, but I soon realised that he was probing us, trying to find out who we were. And his smiles were restrained and left his eyes dark and cold. I started getting worried. We should have opened the door for Aang and Sokka.

The place was packed with people, and there was music and the well-bred hum of polite conversation. And a bear. He sat at the table devouring the largest platters of meat to the barely-disguised dismay of those sitting next to him.

Someone stopped to speak to Long Feng. I could tell, from the man's deep obeisance and his unctuously polite ways, that he was trying to suck up to Long Feng. This made me even more suspicious of the dark-robed man.

'Hang on – there's someone I recognise,' Toph whispered, and she walked away, leaving me with Long Feng . However, a second later, seeing him still in conversation, I hurriedly made my escape.

I saw Toph being offered a crab puff by my brother, who was dressed as a busboy. Next to him, dressed in the same dark uniform, was Aang. With a mental sigh of relief, I hastily made my way across the room towards them and Aang caught my eyes. Suddenly, there was that look again – flustered and shy - as I went over to him. Perhaps he had forgotten my disguise. This instantly aroused an answering blush in me – Sokka, however, wasn't quite as pleased to see me:

'Thanks for letting us in,' he told me, sarcastically.

I explained about Long Feng and how he wouldn't let us out of his sight, but next instant, we were accosted by Joo Dee, who, for once, didn't have a smile plastered on her face. Instead she looked positively scared to see us. So scared she physically tried to hustle us out of the party.

Unfortunately, her shoving made Aang spill what he was holding on a guest, who yelled indignantly. To prevent her shouting, he air-blasted her dry, but Aang doesn't know his own strength, and the wind-blown guest realised the Avatar had joined the party.

There were incredulous, but pleased, murmurings from the guests, and moments later, the Earth King himself was brought into the hall on a curtained Palanquin borne by Earth Kingdom soldiers. We never managed to meet him, however: heavy stone gloves wrapped themselves around my mouth and I felt myself pulled backwards. I saw Toph similarly captured and we were taken by the notorious Dai Lee to the Library of the palace.

The room was huge and dark lit up only by a strange green fire. It burned silently in a large ornate fireplace, without the usual crackling of real flames. The Dai Li melted into the background just as the door opened again to let in Long Feng . Following him, was Aang.

'This guy said he's the Grand Secretary of Ba Sing Se and Head of the Dai Li,' Aang whispered to me with a frown, as he took his place by my side.

That figured. Suddenly the nervous look people had on their face when they spoke to him made sense: so this was the Head of the notorious Dai Li – even in our few days in the city we had noticed people's reaction whenever the Dai Li were mentioned.

Long Feng explained that the King never got involved with politics or military activities, these matters, he said, were his job. The King was just a figure head! I felt my heart sink - everything seemed so bleak suddenly... even if we _did_ get to speak to the Earth King he might not be interested in our plan! Long Feng certainly wasn't, even when Sokka told him about the eclipse: 'ridiculous plan' he called it and said the war was not to be mentioned.

'In silencing talk of conflict, Ba Sing Se remains a peaceful, orderly utopia,' he told us 'The last one on Earth'.

I was swiftly realising the man was in love with his own power and would do anything to keep it that way.

'You can't keep the truth from all these people,' I cried heatedly, 'They have to know!'

_'_I'll tell them' Aang shouted advancing on Long Feng 'I'll make sure everyone knows!'

But Long feng had a card up his sleeve: he told us that from now on we'd be under even stricter surveillance from the Dai Li, and if we tried to foment any unrest or panic by mentioning the war, our search for Appa would be over.

We stared at him in stunned silence, digesting his threat. He had us at his mercy and he knew it. He knew, by now, how important Appa was for us. He knew we would not jeopardise our search... Joo Dee has told him everything.

Then he called Joo Dee to escort us home.

Only she was NOT Joo Dee – it was another woman insisting she was Joo Dee!

The real Joo Dee's frightened expression back in the party came back to me: what had they done to her?

We stared at the new Joo Dee – she had the same false smile plastered on her face, the same slightly vacant expression. I exchanged a glance with the others: they all looked as though the earth had slipped from beneath their feet, but then Sokka silently signalled we should follow her.

'We'd better play along for now,' Sokka told us when we got back home. 'We can't risk anyone of us vanishing like Joo dee!'

'We need to find Appa first' I said, looking grimly at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Toph and I were despondently removing our make-up.

Aang, who was leaning on the door, looked at me gratefully in the mirror 'Yeah – we should concentrate on that,' he agreed, 'but once we find him...'

'Once we find him, I suggest we fly right up to the Earth King and _force_ him to listen to us!'Sokka said scowling thoughtfully at his own reflection. 'Whatever Long Feng says, he's not the top man in this city – the _King_ is!'

'He might listen,' Aang said, hopefully.

'In the meantime, we'll try and gather whatever intelligence we can...' Sokka said, turning to leave the bathroom 'Keep a low profile though - you heard what he said about Dai Li agents. They'll be following us.'

'Quit worrying, Sokka. We can play their own game,' Toph threw down her sponge and yawned 'See ya in the morning, Busboys!'

Sokka exchanged a disgruntled look with Aang, and then they followed her out.

I raised the sponge one more time to my face to remove the last of the make-up. The young, sophisticated girl was gone and my own familiar face looked back at me from the mirror. And it was scowling in a very familiar way: I felt a determination grown inside me: Long Feng may think he's got everything and everyone under control, but he did not know who he had messed with!


	44. Chapter 44

**195 th day of our journey and the eleventh in Ba Sing Se: Our search for the Avatar's bison continues, but as yet we have had no luck. The Dai Li's stranglehold on the city is total and none dare speak the truth.**

That is all I feel safe writing in the visible part of my book. We are learning that in Ba Sing Se even walls have ears, and the feeling of being watched is stronger than ever. If ever this book falls into the wrong hands...!

Not that Joo Dee is around much anymore (the _false_ Joo Dee – we have never saw the original one again!). I assume it's because Long Feng knows we dare not stir up trouble with Appa at stake. However, on the few occasions she _does_ come, she makes sure to let slip (with that horrible, false smile I have come to loathe so much) exactly where we'd been the previous day.

'Did you enjoy your trip to Chung's Exotic Bird show?' She would say, or: 'How did you find the food in the quaint Dong Xiang market in the Lower Ring?'

She does it as a subtle (or not- so- subtle) warning that our every move is being observed. I hate this place – everything is done with subterfuge, and no-one is free to speak their minds!

Today, in the privacy of our own home – the only place where we feel we can speak freely (after checking the windows, though) - Sokka has suggested we try a different strategy.

'We gotta split up,' he said 'There's no way we can cover this huge city if we stick together. Aang can cover more ground on his glider and the rest of us can speak to more people that way.'

Sokka has a point, so tomorrow we'll each be going his or her separate way. It'll give our morale a boost and we really need it after what happened at the King's party.

**197 th day of our journey and the thirteenth in Ba Sing Se. We are gradually getting to know Ba Sing Se better, both as regards its customs and traditions, and its layout. Our search for Appa has taken us far and wide across this great city, but as yet we haven't found anyone who has seen him. **

Our despondency in the aftermath of the King's party has disappeared and we are settling in as comfortably as we can (under the circumstances) to life in Ba Sing Se. Aang is even a bit happier that he can fully concentrate on finding Appa, rather than plan an invasion. He is confident Appa is still alive.

How he knows that I haven't the faintest idea.

Toph is a bit less enthusiastic about the city. Regulations about earthbending are very strict especially in the Upper Ring. Today, she came back covered in earth and dust with a disgruntled expression on her face.

'Did you find an earthbending school?' I asked.

'Nah – went to the Lower Ring and challenged some Earth Kingdom soldiers at the wall to a mini-Earth Rumble, but none of them wanted to fight.'

'Nothing strange about that – they're scared you'd flatten 'em!' Sokka smirked.

'Sweet of you to say so, Sokka,' Toph replied, in a voice that made me doubt whether she meant it, or was just being sarcastic. 'But no – they just said 'twas against their stupid regulations, so I chucked some stones around in a construction site near the Middle Ring wall. It's not the same thing though.'

Toph's asleep now. Her dusty footprints are all over the house because she hasn't bothered to wash. Tomorrow I'll try and persuade her to clean her clothes at least. I don't want to add _her_ clothes to the ones Sokka already dumps on me.

Not that I don't have the time to spruce up our clothes and mend them... With the problem of dinner taken care of ( Meals are still delivered to our house) I have one less chore to worry about, and more time on my hands than I know what to do with at home.

When I go out in the morning it's a different matter however. I still haven't forgotten my determination to defy Long Feng, somehow. I know I have to be very careful how I go about but sometimes, seeing people's now-familiar shifty looks as soon as they recognise who I am, frustrates me. I refuse to go about in Earth Kingdom clothing - the ones I bought for the Earth King's party are too fine anyway, and besides, I want people to recognise who I am – perhaps they may give something away by their body language.

Different people have different reactions when they see me: a lot are very curious, some are surprised, and others are happy to see me – they know I'm travelling with the Avatar and that still commands a lot of respect, but then there are other people who glance nervously away, never making eye contact, or who actually melt away: these are the ones who have some reason to be scared of the Dai Li, for they probably know the Dai Li are tailing me.

I get so frustrated sometimes that I feel like water-whipping some sense into them ... how can't they see that this war is more important than their stupid houses or status symbols in the Upper Ring?! I resist these impulses however – one look at Aang's wistful expression every evening as he tries the Bison Whistle before we turn in, is enough to curb my temper. Anyway, perhaps many people have more than just their luxury homes at stake... after all, the real Joo Dee never came back!

This morning I went to Ba Sing Se University on the pretext of visiting the Library, but really hoping to overhear Political Science students talking, and gather what Sokka refers to as 'intelligence'. With my Water Tribe clothes I stood out from the rest of the students and most of them glanced at me and hastily melted away.( I would've thought students to be a bit more rebellious, but I guess the Dai Li have their fingers in University study funds!) Many hours later, I had found out nothing more than what I already knew, so I gave it up. Some of Professor Zei's students confirmed that Sandbenders rarely ever came to Ba Sing Se and, if so, were confined to the Lower Ring. None of the students could tell me if merchants ever came to Ba Sing Se with a Flying Bison.

'Thousands of merchants, from all over the world, come to Ba Sing Se to trade their goods,' one of them told me 'but no-one ever heard of them trading Flying Bisons. Professor Zei told us they were extinct.'

'If a live Bison were to be brought to the city,' another student piped up nervously 'Professor Zei would definitely want to see it when he comes back from his latest desert trip.'

'I don't think your Professor will be returning any time soon,' I explained about Wan Shi Tong's library and how Professor Zei had remained there.

I don't know if they believed me.

'Professor Zei always comes back eventually,' the first student said 'and always with stories of his amazing adventures in the desert...'

I let them think whatever they want. People in Ba Sing Se seem to have a false sense of security within the protective walls of the city, and ignore, or downplay, any dangers beyond. They're more concerned with dangers _within_ the wall in the shape of the Dai Li's strangle-hold on whatever goes on in the city.

On a hunch, I decided to visit the Library – something Professor Zei had said back in the desert had stuck in my head and now was as good a time as ever. He had said that in the university Library there were old scrolls made by the same bookmaker who had stamped his little earth symbol on the first page of my book: Kun Lei-han .

The Library, though nothing as immense as Wan Shi Tong's, was very big and impressive. The Librarian, on the other hand, was definitely less intimidating than Wan Shi Tong.

'The Lei-Han documents?' she said pushing her spectacles up her nose 'Certainly – we have many on display. They last an eternity – legend has it that the family of bookbinders and papermakers incorporated _earth_ into the secret recipe they use in making their books and scrolls.'

'Earth?'

'It's only a legend. However, it is true any document written on Lei-han paper lasts for a long time. See over here – '

She took me to an ornate display cabinet. 'This is a 900-year-old scroll belonging to a great explorer, scholar and mariner, Qianfan, who was born in Ba Sing Se and brought back great knowledge and fame for our city. His statue is in front of the main University building.'

I looked at the old scroll closely. It was exactly like Professor Zei had described. The little earth symbol was engraved on the wooden ends of the roller and the paper looked thick and waxy like my own book. My curiosity was aroused.

'Um... you wouldn't know where I can find Kun Lei- Han, would you?'

'Why?'

I could see her eyes narrow suspiciously.

'I am interested in writing down the customs and traditions of my tribe,' I said defiantly 'And I need a scroll-'

'Ah, I see' she said, her face relaxing immediately 'In that case, you do well to seek the best bookbinder and papermaker in the whole Earth Kingdom – his shop is at the edge of the Middle Ring. Quite a privilege for an artisan to be allowed in the Middle Ring– but the Lei Hans always had special treatment. Deservedly so – they are quite knowledgeable, for mere artisans.'

I bit my lips to stop myself deflating her intellectual snobbery as I listened to her directions on where to find Kun Lei Han. This place was so horribly divided into a caste system – one class looking down its nose at another... no wonder Aang shunned it! And in a 100 years, it hadn't changed one bit!

It was too late to go looking for the Book Binder's shop, but I'm determined to try and find it tomorrow. I'd like to find out more about this little Earth Book, for I've grown quite fond of it and, more importantly, as Professor Zei had pointed out, it is a documenting the story of a legend: the Legend of Aang.

**198 th Day of our journey and the fourteenth in Ba Sing Se. Today Toph and I have taken a break from our search for the Avatar's bison and went the fancy spa in the best district of the Upper Ring. The Avatar himself has been, yet again, unsuccessful in his search, however, he has done something wonderful for the animals in the poorly-kept Zoo in the Lower Ring, whose funds have been cut by the Dai Li. Using earthbending, he has constructed a much-needed new and modern habitat for these animals in the Agrarian Zone beyond the city walls.**

I didn't get to find the Book Binder because there was something more important I had to do.

Going to some fancy Spa with Toph doesn't sound important, but I needed to do something about that girl. She hates Ba Sing Se, for the rules and strictures remind her of her home, but she has no secret Earth Rumble to go to, so she relieves her earthbending frustration in construction sites, coming back covered in a fine layer of dust that she does not bother to wash off.

The rest of us revel in our large, luxurious bathroom, with its huge mirror and ceramic basins and baths – the water is even _heated,_ though it really doesn't need to be in this warm spring weather! But Toph rarely takes a bath ( a sponge bath) no matter what anyone says. Strangely enough, she only does it only when Sokka, with his usual bluntness, tells her she's starting to stink.

Yesterday I gave in and washed her clothes for her. I think she may have appreciated it because this morning, when I found her still asleep in her dusty underwear and suggested a girl's day out, she didn't bite my head off like she normally would.

'Do I _have_ to?' she said meekly.

'It' ll be fun,' I persuaded 'We'll be pampered, and for a while we can forget all the stupid rules and regulations of this city.'

'That second part I like,' Toph agreed and soon we were at the "Fancy Lady's Day Spa". It had teaching school or university attached to it where students could learn the art of beauty therapy. If they used us to experiment on, we would get a discount...

It didn't start off too well: the pedicure had several attendants struggling with Toph, whose feet, apart from being dirty, had callused and thick skin that was as hard as nails due to her earthbending.

The baths were a bit of a problem too, for Toph can't stand being immersed in water.

'No sponge bath is going to be enough to shift all that dust, Toph –' I started 'Besides, you promised to let me teach you to swim, and a bath is a good place to start.'

'I didn't _promise_,' she said, rebelliously 'Besides, one close shave with drowning on the Serpent's Pass is more than enough for me.'

I sighed. I had tried persuading Toph to wash in a stream before and it had ended in disaster, with all of us covered in mud. That gave me an idea:

'Hey, Toph – how about a mud bath?' I had seen some special baths filled with a gooey 'Lake mud' that was supposed to soften your skin.

'They're wonderfully relaxing,' the attendant confirmed with a nervous grin. She had been the one to tackle Toph's feet and knew she had a difficult client on her hands.

'Mud, huh?' Toph crossed her arms pensively 'Yeah, ok – Splashing around in the slurry at the back of the Drill machine was fun.'

'When we're done,' I whispered hurriedly to the attendant 'can you substitute the mud with water slowly, so that she doesn't notice? I don't want her going home caked in that stuff cause she doesn't want to wash off.'

Toph was fine with the mud bath, being partly in her element, and the attendant did a fine job of slowly diluting the mud until Toph was practically in clean water. She noticed eventually, for I could see her stiffen even before the attendant threw in a bucketful of flower petals and herbs.

'It's rose petals and perfume... You can't add _those_ to a mud bath! See? It's not so bad, Toph.'

'Well, it's better than the strait between the Eastern and Western lakes! At least I can feel the bottom here.'

'It's the beginning of a whole new bathing experience, Toph….'

'I still prefer mud baths!'

I grinned and sank down into my own perfumed water. I hope she will add regular baths to her daily routine – if we leave our house in Ba sing Se, a small stream is the only option we'll have for washing.

The rest of the morning was spent under the beauty-students' hands – they experimented with a lot of hairstyles on us, but I liked none of them for they were almost as unpractical as the ones we had for the king's party, so I stuck to my usual plait and hair loopies. Toph was brushed into a neater version of her everyday style, and her fringe trimmed and tucked tidily away so that her face was revealed.

But when the students offered to put on our make up, Toph wanted to do it by herself, saying she had had her personal space invaded enough for one day. However, the colours and textures of the cosmetics were unlike what we had bought for the King's party, so the end result was not quite what I had expected.

'Those are for _day_ use' said one of the beauty students, looking at our reflections dubiously 'They're meant to be applied _lightly_-'

I had followed Toph's instructions in blind faith and I could see that the colours were a bit too loud under the bright light of day, just as the attendant pointed out, but did not think much of it at the time. In fact, we both left the spa feeling remarkably relaxed and, as Toph said, feeling 'girly'. She was walking with her head held up proudly, rather than the head-bent, rock-like stance she usually assumed to maximise her hearing and fighting abilities. I was so glad we could do something like that together – it was almost as though Toph had turned into the female company I had imagined I'd be enjoying when she first joined us, and I wanted to make the most of it.

Unfortunately, our mood was shattered when a gaggle of girls passed by us and remarked Toph's make-up made her look like a clown…

'Don't listen to them, let's just keep walking,' I told her, glaring back at them as they giggled inanely at their own stupid joke, in high-pitched, false voices. If they had to see their own mean, supercilious empty souls, they'd be laughing on the other side of their face!

But when one of them compared Toph to a pet poodle monkey, she finally retaliated. Earthbending a hole in the bridge they were crossing, she made them fall with a splash in the shallow stream beneath. Not to be outdone, I waterbended a huge wave that swept the three of them out of my sight – perhaps further downstream they would find themselves in a place where their Upper Ring snobbery would be even less appreciated than here!

Toph pretended she didn't care, because she couldn't see what she looked like anyway, but I knew those girls' words had hurt her.

'I don't care what I look like. I'm not looking for anyone's approval. I _know_ who I am' she said, but there was a tell-tale quiver in her voice and she walked with her head bent once more, dark strands covering her face again.

And I saw the tear trickle down her cheek.

That surprised me a bit, for I had always admired her confidence and self assurance – I told her so, and I also told her how pretty she is.

'I am?'

She seemed genuinely surprised, but pleased.

'Yeah. You are.'

'I'd return the compliment, but I have no idea what you look like.'

I laughed, but as we walked home I couldn't help wondering why she seemed so unsure of the way she looked. Surely she could feel her own face and understand how smooth her skin was, how delicately-shaped her features ...?

'Surely someone must have told you how good you look Toph. You seem surprised...'

'Yeah, well... my mother did sometimes, but I didn't believe her.'

'Why not?'

'Well, I never knew any girl my own age to compare myself to. Besides, my parents wouldn't have kept me hidden from the world then, would they?'

I could hear the bitterness in her voice, and no wonder, if _that_ was what she was thinking!

'Toph – they were just being over-protective! They may have been worried over your unexplained bruises when you were secretly practising eartbending, that's all! They can't have been ...' I faltered to a stop, but Toph continued the sentence for me.

'Ashamed of me?' she laughed bitterly 'Of course they were. Being overprotective is only part of it, but the reason why so few in Gaoling knew I even existed is another matter...'

'_Toph_-!'

'That's why they were so obsessed with good behaviour... they thought it could make up for my other ... _deficiencies_.'

'Toph – gimme your hand!' I stopped and turned to face her.

'What?'

'Your hand – ' I repeated, grabbing her hand 'Now feel my face. _Feel it_!' I ordered as she started to pull her hand away 'You said you had no-one to compare yourself to – well, I want you to see that my face and yours aren't that different!'

She hesitated at first, but then her fingers fluttered down my face, surprisingly gentle for someone so tough, and on her face was a kind of tentative wonder. Finally, she smiled.

'Your face feels pretty much the same,' she conceded.

'See? Apart from some minor differences in the colour of our eyes and skin and the shape of our features, we're the same.'

'Well, Aang _did_ say you were beautiful, that night, so that must mean I'm ok, too. Hey, why are you -?' she stopped, removing her fingers from my face with a slightly puzzled look.

'What? Why am I what? I'm not doing anything!' I stammered, flustered.

How did Toph guess I was blushing? She has this uncanny ability of sensing people's nervousness. Perhaps my cheeks felt hot.

'Look - we'd better get back home' I said hastily, turning to go 'Perhaps we'd better get our faces back to normal again before the other two come home.'

Toph's puzzled look gave way to a wide grin, but she followed me home unquestioningly. There, we washed off our make up and waited for Aang and Sokka to come home. Sokka appeared very late at night, but Aang was home by sundown.

'I've created a Zoo outside the Inner Wall' he explained excitedly.

Apparently, there was a rundown Zoo in the Lower Ring with all the animals living in a pretty miserable conditions for the Dai Li had stopped funding it.

'The overcrowded housing in the Lower Ring kinda buried and overshadowed the zoo. No one wanted their children to go to this slum area so the Dai Li stopped funds! The animals were in small cages and were going hungry,' Aang explained, indignantly.

'So the lack of funds made it worse – giving the Dai Li even more excuse for not funding it - like a vicious circle!' I had, by now, an idea of how things worked in the Lower Ring.

Aang nodded. 'It was tricky getting the animals from their old zoo to the new one, but I managed in the end...it wasn't a smooth ride, though,' he smiled sheepishly as he told us of the chaos in the Lower Ring as wild animals stampeded through the streets.

Toph was impressed with his earthbending: 'Way to go Twinkletoes! You certainly found a good way to practise earthbending! Wish I'd come with _you_ today... On second thoughts,' a small smile hovered around her lips, 'perhaps not. I had a fun day today with Katara.'

'Didn't you go to some spa place? I thought you hated those,' Aang said, puzzled.

'Yeah, well – I learnt some stuff,' she replied, with a mysterious smile.

She's asleep now. Lying spread-eagled across her mat with her rebellious hair comfortably sticking out in all directions. I don't know what she was referring to, exactly, when she said she learned 'some stuff'. Of course, it may be she was referring to not being afraid of a simple bath anymore; or of learning that her parents had spoken the truth when they said she was pretty... or she learnt that a certain waterbender is frequently losing her composure wherever Aang is concerned...

I really must get my head out of the clouds, for this is seriously getting as out-of-hand as that confused time after the Cave of two lovers in the Kolau Mountains. But unlike then, we are now more in need of more concentration than ever: with Appa gone, and trapped in a city where our every move is observed and controlled, I really need to keep focused. I keep reminding myself to take my own good advice, but I'm finding it more difficult than ever to stop my thoughts from wandering to the young airbender in the next room, and what he's coming to mean to me.

Back in the Kolau mountains, I thought I could easily put it all behind me until a more opportune time, but since then, I've come to realise that perhaps I don't want to...

Aang wants us to go with him to see the zoo tomorrow. It will be the second 'off' day for me but I guess it won't harm us to have a bit more free time. Perhaps we can search for news of Appa in the Agrarian Zone – it's the one place we haven't covered yet, because we thought a bison would've stood out on such flat plains. However, you may never know...

Sokka, who came home just before midnight, said he's not coming with us, for he has a Haiku game re-match tomorrow, but Toph is curious to 'see' Aang's work and the team of earthbenders opening the Inner Wall. (I think she'll probably join them.)

Well, if she falls back to her old ways, for tonight at least, she smells like flowers...


	45. Chapter 45

**199 th day of our Journey and the fifteenth in Ba Sing Se. Today is a special day for it is Cross-Quarter day, and the Avatar s birthday. **

**Toph and I went to see the new zoo created by the Avatar for Ba Sing Se's ill-kept wild animals. It was an impressive and well-designed place as well as an extraordinary feat of earthbending which even Toph Bei Fong, master of this element, acknowledged. **

**Toph went back to the Inner Wall Gates learning the techniques of opening and closing the enormous Inner Wall, while Aang and I travelled around the Agrarian Zone seeking information on Appa. We did not discover much and were impressed once again with how huge Ba Sing Se actually is.**

Today was ... special. For many reasons.

For one thing, Aang is officially a teenager now – his birthday falls exactly on the Spring cross-quarter day – that is, the day midway between the Spring Equinox and the Summer Solstice, or the sixth day of the fifth month.

And the other thing – well, it was just a good day. In many subtle ways.

Aang had completely forgotten about it, of course. But a chance comment of mine alerted him to the fact that this was the day when he was born.

We had been to see the Zoo – it took a team of powerful earthbenders, the Gate Guards, to open the enormous wall.

'Nice earthbending!' Toph told the team leader appreciatively, as the massive structure thundered slowly open.

The ground beneath our feet shook violently, and it felt like an earthquake!

'Yeah, well – it's all we ever do,' the large Earthbender said 'Though yesterday, the Avatar broke the monotony of guarding the gate'.

He glanced over at Aang, but there was a twinkle in his eyes.

'A whole bunch of wild beasts stampeding towards this wall – I never saw anything like it in my life! They even took a bit of it with them!' he continued, indicating several cracks and fissures and broken stones.

'Sorry about that,' Aang said, sheepishly.

Another of the guards spoke up: 'Don't worry, young Avatar,' he said with a wide grin 'yesterday was one for the book – besides, we've been pestered all morning by children and their families to open the gate. Old Kenji's zoo is really something now and everyone wants to see it!'

We thanked the guards and hurried through. The Zoo was every bit as great as the Guards had said – it was a big, with large stone enclosures for the animals. It struck me immediately how Aang's earthbending had improved – and with the animals' well-being as an incentive, he had really outdone himself.

'Aang, this is wonderful!' I exclaimed, barely resisting from clapping my hands.

There were so many fascinating and exotic animals, many of which I had never seen before – and though it may have been my imagination, I thought they all looked extraordinarily happy to be outside the stifling and close confines of the city. _I _certainly was. The Agrarian Zone stretched for miles and miles in green, fertile plains and fields about us and beneath the bright Spring sunshine, the whole landscape was quite beautiful.

'Yeah, you did a good job, Twinkletoes,' Toph was less exuberant than I was, but those words, from her, were high praise.

We were soon hailed by Kenji, the Zookeeper, who had recognised Aang. He was really pleased with his new Zoo and grateful Aang had given him and his animals this opportunity.

'The Rabaroo is already teachin' its cubs foragin' behaviour,' he told us enthusiastically 'and the Hoppin' Llamas are so happy, the females have gone into season. Now they're humpin' an' matin' all over the place, like there was no tomorrow-'

We glanced at each other and quickly back again, but I couldn't keep a straight face, and we all dissolved in fits of laughter.

'They're only doin' what comes nat'urly!' Kenji protested 'You see, all the light an' air out here in the open stimulate 'em to behave all lovey-dovey-like, an' they wanna have babies –it's _Spring_, ya know! The animals didn't notice, back at the city!'

'_Lovey-dovey?_!' Toph's snorting laughter caused several Hog-monkeys to shriek in imitation from a nearby enclosure.

'Teenagers!' Kenji grumbled, shaking his head.

'We're ...uh... glad to hear the Llamas are enjoying their Springtime,' Aang said hastily, putting on a straight face.

But as Kenji launched into a detailed explanation about Hopping LLamas' reproductive cycle, I could see Aang's eyes were dancing with mirth. He caught my eye and we shared a small conspiratorial smile. It did my heart good to see him so light-hearted. It felt like it had been _ages_ since I laughed so heartily. Thank goodness for Kenji and his lovey-dovey Hopping Llamas!

The zookeeper showed us all around the zoo and soon had us in fits of laughter again – this time with the story about the chaos created by the animals and their antics before Aang finally managed to get them to follow him out of the city. Apparently, lots of people's pets had been caught up in the uproar and found themselves facing their wild counterparts in the Zoo enclosures! Aang chuckled good-naturedly at himself, unabashed at Kenji's teasing, and I found myself observing _him_ instead.

There is a special kind of light in Aang's eyes when he is enthusiastic or excited about something – and the Zoo had many of the elements he loved: wide open spaces, animals, grass; trees and the beautiful blue sky of a mild Spring day. His eyes seem to shine a lighter gray when he's like this. I remember, in the early days of our journey, I used to see that liveliness in his expression very often: like whenever he came up with crazy ideas about riding mail-chute super-slides, or Giant Elephant koi, or Hog-monkeys, or some other dangerous feat... his eyes would shine a paler gray then, narrowing to a silvery slit just before he jumped into whatever dangerous thing he had thought up... and I've missed that excited, carefree, daredevil look.

I've also missed his laugh... Hearing him laugh again, as Kenji regaled us with the tales of the zoo's stampede through the Lower Ring, made me realise that. Aang has an unrestrained, sincere laugh, his eyes crinkle up and he laughs _with_ you not at you... it's so different from the false, polite tittering I've heard from many in the Upper Ring - like the nasty, tinkling, laughter of those three girls yesterday... Aang's laughter is also very infectious, whether just an appreciative chuckle or a full-blown laugh. It invites you to share his fun and light-hearted view of things...

'Hey guys – mind if I leave you here for a while? I wanna try and move the gate by myself!' Toph's words interrupted my musings.

I blinked, not understanding what she meant at first.

'By yourself!? Wow! Yeah - go for it, Toph!' Aang grinned 'Uh... Don't lock us out!'

'She's kiddin', right?' Kenji said, scratching his head as Toph waved goodbye and headed for the distant gate in the Inner Wall.

'No, she isn't,' I assured him.

'I think the Guards at the gate might be in for as big a surprise as yesterday's stampede!' Aang said looking at me 'I bet you she'll move that wall by herself!'

'Even if she won't manage to open or close it fully, she'll have fun trying. She was getting a bit tired of building sites – this is something she'll enjoy getting her teeth into! Umm ... where shall we go from here, Aang?'

I breathed in deeply the warm spring air – being outside the city confines felt good.

'We could walk to the Traders' Gate further along the wall... I was told that's where merchants from outside Ba Sing Se come in with their stuff. It's a different one from the monorail station that carries refugees. Someone might've seen Appa if he was traded there.'

'Sounds like a plan – let's go!' we took our leave of the Zookeeper and walked along the perimeter of the outer wall. The Agrarian Zone stretched for miles and miles: it was mainly a flat plain covered with fields, but there were some low hills in the distance, and many roads, or rather, dirt-tracks, crisscrossed the fields. Here and there we could see farmers tending the fields: we asked them about Appa, but none had seen him.

'Perhaps we'll have better luck near the trading routes,' I said encouragingly.

But when we got there, although the place was bustling with traders, merchants and dealers, none we asked had seen a flying bison. The monorail that served this gate was wider and open-topped, designed to carry bulk goods, not people. If Appa had been brought in this way he would have been clearly visible.

'Perhaps he did not come in this way,' Aang said, coming to my same conclusion. 'He could've been flown in, but I doubt Appa would allow anyone but us, on his back...'

'Can you – can you feel if Appa's here? I asked tentatively 'You did in the swamp. And when we arrived in Ba Sing Se.'

'The swamp was different- the connection with every life form was very strong, but here...' He shrugged and shook his head sadly.

'Here, there's nothing but walls.'

'Not only that – I could feel Appa's closeness when we arrived here, but it's not so strong now …'

I stopped and turned to look at him, worriedly.

'But he's still alive!' he interjected firmly, before I could say anything 'I _know_ he's alive! I would feel it if – if - anything happened to him.'

'Then I'm sure he's ok, Aang . The bond you have with Appa - I've never really understood how it works, but I can see how strong it is.'

'The Nuns used to tell us a Sky Bison is a companion for life, I don't really understand it either, I just ... feel it.'

I smiled at him 'Part of the mystery of being an Avatar.'

'I don't feel mysterious'.

'Hey! You the Avatar? The _real _one? They said he's in Ba Sing Se.' A merchant with a funny, conical hat was leaning over from a cart filled with round, orange-red fruits.

'Uh...yeah,' Aang responded.

'You live in the Upper Ring, then, don't you?'

'What do you mean?' I asked suspiciously.

'Well, I've got this really awesome cargo of fruit. First time I'm getting them to BA Sing Se. They're like apples, only softer and nicer. Here – try one!'

He tossed the round fruit at us and Aang caught it instinctively.

'Will you spread the word around among the Upper Ring citizens? I could make a fortune if they like them!' the merchant said.

Aang shrugged. 'Sure.'

'Have you seen a Giant Bison these last weeks anywhere near or in Ba Sing Se?' I asked.

'Giant Bison?'

'A Flying Bison. He was stolen 19 days ago by sandbenders and sold to Merchants. Ten tons, six legs, with arrow markings on thick white fur,' Aang explained for the umpteenth time.

The man shook his head slowly 'Something that big would be easily visible on the cargo train. If he's stolen, he would've been transported by night, in the dark – there's no way you can get a beast like through the Agrarian Zone and to the Inner wall without someone noticing. Once in Ba Sing Se, however, he'd be easier to hide.'

Aang and I looked at each other.

'We should still scour the Agrarian Zone before focussing only on the city,' Aang said, as we left the merchant to tend his wares 'There another cargo gate to the West of the city'

'We could see what ground we cover today and have a final look tomorrow.'

'I wish I had a picture of Appa to show people,' Aang frowned 'many of them don't even know what I'm talking about.'

We had left the busy Traders gate and cargo road behind us and we were once more in the middle of open fields and rice paddies. The rocky hills we had seen from the zoo were quite close now - they were the only uncultivated land around, and were covered in small trees and shrubs.

Of one accord, we headed towards them, both of us drawn to their wild, uncultivated appearance in a sea of neat, symmetrical, patchwork fields.

'Aang, I ...I wanted to talk to you about something.'

'Yes, Katara?' he turned to me and slowed down when he saw the serious look on my face.

'What is it?' he repeated, faintly alarmed.

I took a deep breath. 'I don't know if I'm doing the right thing in telling you this, Aang, but earlier, when I spoke about the mystery of being avatar, I was thinking about stuff you still don't know, like ... like the Avatar State'

'The Avatar State?'

'You don't know how to go in or out of the Avatar State or control yourself, once in it. Back in Wan Shi Tong's Library, I read something in a book about how dangerous it is...'

Aang frowned slightly, his face suddenly as serious as mine, but he did not say anything.

'Look, Aang, there's a real danger that the Avatar cycle may be broken forever if, while you're in the Avatar state, you are …you are….'

I stopped unable to say the words, but Aang said them for me:

'- killed while in the Avatar State. Yes, I know.'

'You do?! How?'

'Avatar Roku told me. He appeared to me that day in General Fong's Fortress when I thought Fong had buried you alive. Roku warned me what could happen if I lost control again...' Aang's eyes held mine uneasily 'I risk destroying not only everyone and everything around me, but myself and all future Avatars!'

'Why didn't you tell us?'

'I – I didn't want to worry you and more than that...' he looked away and started walking slowly up the first of the low hills '... I guess I was pretty ashamed of myself for what I did. Only – I did it again back in the desert, didn't I? I went and lost control again! A needless destruction and a needless risk!' his voice rose in frustration 'I wish I knew how to control the Avatar state! '

I followed him slowly up the hill. All this time, _he_ _knew_! How he could have kept that burden all to himself? It threw another light on why he was so mad at himself, both in General Fong's Fortress and later on, in the desert. It also made me realise just how mentally strong Aang was, in spite of his youth – many older and wiser than him would have caved in with the responsibility of having such an effect on the Avatar cycle.

'I wish we had Wan Shi Tong's Library- we could find some books on how to control the Avatar State! Hey – perhaps there may be something in Ba Sing Se library – it's pretty big! Or Avatar Roku – he looked old and wise: perhaps you can contact him again somehow – he's gotta tell you more! He was Avatar for loads more years than you – well, barring the hundred years, of course.'

I went on in this vein for a while, trying to be proactive about this new difficulty and Aang responded well.

'Ba Sing Se University library seems a good place to start,' he said brightening up considerably and tossing the apple-fruit in the air, making it spiral round and round with airbending 'It'd be awesome to be able to switch off the Avatar state whenever I want to – I'd feel terrible if the Avatar cycle were to be destroyed 'cos of some dumb mistake by a half-baked avatar!'

' "_Feel terrible_?!" Aang – you'd be _dead_!'

The words escaped my lips inadvertently, and shocked me into silence. I had never spoken my fears out loud. Aang, however, noticed nothing.

'Yeah, that too,' he said 'But you know what I mean.'

'Yes I do,' I answered in a low voice 'but that isn't what scares me most.'

He turned round then, snatching the apple-fruit deftly from the air, and stared at me.

'Surely you don't think there's anything worse than breaking the Avatar cycle?' he said 'I mean, I don't wanna die, of course, but destroying the Avatar Cycle? That's unthinkable, Katara!'

I stopped too. I wanted to argue; I wanted to deny it. I wanted to protest, saying NO – _Aang's_ far more important than the Avatar, but no words would come out of my mouth, as many conflicting thoughts raced through mind.

He was right, of course.

My sense of duty said so, my upbringing said so, my brain and my reasoning all agreed: the Avatar cycle had to go on, like it had always done for eons of time ... Aang _was_ the avatar: one and the same thing - but my heart just refused to contemplate his death.

Aang was still staring at me and I saw his puzzled expression turn to one of wonder.

I forced myself to smile and found my voice.

'Then that just means I have to make sure I'm there if you go into the Avatar State – any extra bit of protection will help. C'mon now – we're almost at the top of the hill. Bet we can see for miles around from there!'

I walked past him up the last few yards of scrub and bush to the top of the hill, but I could feel his eyes following me and there was a kind of wonder in them. I didn't want to discuss the possibility of Aang dying any longer – it was a maudlin thing to do on such a bright, sunny, spring day, and I just didn't know how to feel about what he said. Aang isn't going to die anytime soon, whether in the Avatar State or not, so I don't want to even have to _think_ about which scenario is _worse_!

Aang sensed my mood for he did not say anything for a while until we reached the highest vantage point on the hill. I had guessed right – the view was incredible – the patchwork of fields stretched for miles and miles in every direction. Hills like the ones we stood on were few and far between, and the land between them was mostly flat. A small herd of antelope-foxes were grazing in the distance and everything seemed peaceful and serene.

I went over to sit on a rocky outcrop overlooking the plains then I closed my eyes and breathed in a lungful of fresh air, wanting to clear my thoughts of anything sad. I felt Aang sit down beside me.

'Share with me?'

I looked round and he was holding out the red apple-fruit with a warm smile.

'Thanks.'

We gazed into the distance as we shared the red fruit between us.

'I have a feeling we won't get any leads about Appa here,' Aang said, after a while 'Still – I kinda like this hill more than the manicured gardens of the Upper Ring.'

I nodded in agreement. 'I guess these few hills are the only untamed bit left - everything else –including the fields - are so _regulated_!'

'They say that there're wilder spaces to the North and East of the main city – this place is so huge!'

'Well, we've only been here a couple of weeks. There's plenty of time left and today's Cross-quarter day - the best time for spring weather and staying outdoors.'

'What's the date again?'

'The 6 th day of the fifth month, and midway between Equinox and Summer Solstice – Cross-quarter day. Why?'

'Uh...nothing,' he rubbed his head in the way he has when unsure or awkward about something.

'It must be _something._'

'Well – I just remembered today's my birthday. No big deal, really.'

I grinned. 'Of course it is, Aang – you're officially a teenager now! We should celebrate... er... how do Air Nomads celebrate birthdays?'

'We don't. At least only special birthdays are celebrated - like the 16 th when you can choose to leave or stay at the Air Temple; when you're six or seven and old enough to start training at the Air temple; birthdays of important men and women; or those who have attained great age. Otherwise it's a day like any other.'

'That's a bit like back home: a boy's 14 th birthday is very important...'

'Initiation by Ice-dodging, right?'

'Yes, but for a girl, her 16 th is more important –that's when she's old enough to be betrothed – or even married, sometimes!'

Aang's eyes flickered to mine, then hastily away again, a slight flush coloring his pale cheeks.

'I heard it's customary to give gifts every single birthday among some of the rich Upper Ring people,' I said hastily, feeling suddenly awkward too. (Why did I have to mention marriage?! I had tried to stir clear from thinking about that since Aunt Wu's ambiguous predictions!)

'I was given some wooden numbered beads by the Monks to mark each of my birthdays. Gyatso gave me more fun stuff, like marbles and special fruit pies... I didn't know it at the time, but the monks were marking the years till my 16 th birthday – or my 12 th, as it turned out. None of the other kids were given anything for _their _birthdays. ...They must have wondered why.'

His voice trailed into silence and he got the far-away look in his eyes as his mind wondered back to over a hundred years ago and how being an avatar changed his friends' perception of him ...

'I got a very special surprise for _my_ 14 th birthday,' I said with a smile, eager to dispel his mood.

'You did?'

'It came gift-wrapped in an iceberg.'

'Oh. That day was your birthday?'

I nodded.

'Some birthdays matter more than others, I guess, huh?' Aang grinned, and I knew what he was trying to tell me – that was the day we met and the start of our adventures.

I smiled, feeling an odd warmth spread right through me. I had always found it so easy to talk to Aang - he knew so much, drawing his experience from years of travelling, yet he listened well, and could talk about almost anything, be it funny or serious, philosophical or flippant. I never grew tired of our conversations, and it had been a long time since we were alone together...

And it was already different from the early days when we used to talk late into the night, sometimes long after Sokka had gone to sleep: those were more carefree times, and our conversations were full of plans and ideas of what adventures awaited us, or else slightly nostalgic descriptions and comparisons of Air Nomad ways and Water Tribe ways ...

Half a year on, I find it still as easy and as pleasant as ever to sit under a tree and talk to Aang, like I was doing today on that small hill overlooking the agrarian plains ...yet now there is something else that threads its way through our conversations, especially on the rare occasions we find ourselves alone... it's a thrilling feeling of _awareness_, of something unspoken and unsaid...

I think it started that day in the dark cave built by Oma and Shu, and it has never completely gone away. It thrills me and scares me in equal measure.

'Our mom always remembered our birthdays...' I said, after a while 'Even though it's not customary in our tribe to do so, mom always gave Sokka and I a small treat on the day, and an extra special hug – she used to say the day when she first met us was worth commemorating ...'

'I can understand that now. Remember the day we left the South Pole and I told you I had been taken early to the temple because I was the Avatar?'

I nodded.

'You told me my mother would've missed me,' he continued ' I had never really thought about it that way before, but after seeing Ying with Hope, I know what you mean. Ying's face looked kinda transformed, somehow, as she looked at her baby... She seemed so happy and proud and _attached._'

There was a moment of silence fell between us, broken only by the sounds of birdsong and the humming of bugs. I never imagined he'd still be thinking over what I had said to him back then.

'Do you remember anything at all about your mother?' I asked him quietly after a while.

His eyes turned from me to gaze into the distance, his brows creasing into a small frown. Even back then, soon after we had first left the South Pole, I had sensed a certain reluctance in him to talk about his parents. In fact, I had never mentioned the subject again. But my instincts were telling me different today.

Aang remained silent for so long that I thought he wouldn't answer me, but finally:

'I resented seeing the other kids with their parents in festivals or celebrations, or travelling with their family group,' he said in a barely audible voice 'And before I knew I was the Avatar, I thought my parents had abandoned me. I thought they hadn't wanted me.'

He had told me some of this story the night of the storm, but I never realised how it must have seemed to the small boy always inexplicably left behind at the temple while his friends went off with their parents.

'When the monks told me who I was,' Aang continued in a subdued voice 'and how they had separated me from my family, I realised that my parents were different to what I had imagined, and they hadn't really abandoned me. But by then I had to concentrate on my training, and the monks discouraged questions on my family, seeing such bonds as distractions.'

'Even Gyatso?'

'Gyatso never met my parents.'

'So you were left wondering... and wishing to see them again.'

His eyes flickered to mine then back again to gaze, unseeing, over the plains below us. He said nothing for a while, but when he spoke again there was a wistful note in his voice:

'My mother is only a faint memory –' he said softly, with that faraway look in his eyes again 'I don't even remember what her face looked like, or her voice sounded like, but I get these strange, familiar impressions sometimes – like forgotten dreams. They're nothing more than the sensation of a sweet smell and the notes of a song. A sad song - like the wind rustling in the trees, or keening through our high mountains... I can't explain it well, but it has always been in my head, Katara, ever since I can remember. None of the monks said they taught it to me.'

'Then it's your mother's legacy, Aang ... something to remember her by.'

He looked at me then. 'I don't know if there were any words to the song, but ever since I learnt how to play the flute, I used to play the tune over and over again at the Air Temple. It always sounded so sad...'

He stopped, for the image of a young mother singing to a child that would be lost to her was overwhelmingly sad. Had it been like that for Aang's parents? I was not a mother myself, but I had often seen the fierce love and protectiveness of mothers over their children. Had Aang's mother been made to choose duty over her maternal instincts? In either case, she had had no choice.

And Aang would never find out what he meant for his parents. He would never have the opportunity to find them again, to show them what he had become, so that they would be proud of him, so the pain of their sacrifice might be lessened...It was a 100 years too late for that now. I stared at the young airbender by my side, feeling the prickle of tears behind my eyes. There were so many regrets, so many loose threads, so many things left unsaid, in a life cut short by this horrible war. Like the words of the Air Nomad song he can now never fully remember...

Aang was still lost in thought, his eyes clouded and grey. There was nothing left of the people he knew, and the only living remnant of the life he once knew had been taken from him, too.

'I wish - I wish we could've found Appa for your birthday' I blurted out suddenly 'I wish we could've found even a lead, or something!'

Aang turned to look at me in surprise, for I had spoken far more vehemently than I wanted too, but sometimes, the unfairness of things just gets to me!

'We haven't even covered a tenth of the city, Katara – Appa could be anywhere.'

'Yeah, well, today would've been a good time to find him. You _deserve_ to have a great birthday!'

He stared at me for a minute in silence, then:

'But I _did_ have a great Birthday, Katara.'

He spoke quietly, but firmly, and then gave me a shy faint smile.

'Oh – I ...'

But I didn't know what to say. That strange warm feeling came over me again, and, as his eyes held mine, the now-familiar undercurrent of that secret and thrilling sensation shivered through me.

I don't know what I would have said, hadn't the trees around us erupted in a stridulate, angry squawking . We looked round in bewilderment at the source of the disturbance. Two large, colourful birds were flying crazily over a large tree some 50 yards away – they seemed to be attacking something, and feathers and leaves were flying everywhere to the accompaniment of the birds' loud shrieks.

'I don't believe it!' Aang said, with an expression of annoyance on his face.

'What?'

'The Dai Li!' he pointed with his staff and I could see the tip of a dark green conical hat in the bushes.

Aang took a few swift airbending strides till he was standing in front of the tree and with a circular movement of his staff, he airbended two Dai Li agents in a spiralling mini-tornado off the tree.

They landed in an undignified heap at my feet as I ran up.

'If you wanna spy on us, then learn your birds!' Aang told them tersely 'Those are Red-tailed Dove -parrots, they're very loud, and get pretty mad if you disturbed their nest!'

'We weren't spying,' one of agents said, getting to his feet nimbly 'We were –' he looked at his companion for help.

'We were... birdwatching,' the other Dai Li agent said, completely unperturbed, brushing leaves from his robes.

'_Birdwatching?_!' I exclaimed angrily 'You followed us here! What did you think we were doing?! Fomenting a rebellion among the birds and the trees?! Talking about the war to the scorpion-bees and butterfly-moths?!'

The Dai Li's eyes narrowed, and I would've continued in this vein, but I felt Aang's hand on my arm.

'C'mon, Katara – let's get outa here!'

I followed him to the path down the small hill, still fuming, and looking back over my shoulder at the two Dai Li agents.

'They're gonna follow us anyway,' Aang shrugged 'I saw those guys when we were at the Traders gate.'

'Yeah, I know Aang. I know they're on our tail all the time – it's just that... what could they possibly thought we'd be up to on a deserted hill? Sometimes this city and its rules and intrigues just gets to me – I'm beginning to understand Toph more and more.'

'Toph seems to be defying some rules right now – look!'

In the distance I could see one side of the great gates facing Kenji's zoo open and close – not only once but several times in succession. I knew that the gates only opened at pre-determined times and certainly not like this.

'I guess Toph found a new earthbending toy to play with,' I agreed, 'C'mon, let's see what she's up to before she gets herself arrested!'

We found Toph in high spirits, having bet the Earthbenders guards at the gate that she could open one side of it at least, single-handedly. I think they accepted the bet because they thought it impossible.

She won the bet.

We dragged her away before she got herself and the Guards at the gate into more trouble for flouting regulations.

Toph wasn't the only one to return home in high spirits - Sokka came back saying he won the Haiku re-match, and overall, we had a wonderful evening. I told everyone it was Aang's birthday, of course – this time, he was surrounded by friends who were genuinely and unquestionably happy for him!

Toph reacted by punching him hard and with glee: 'Thirteen, huh? You beat me, Twinkletoes!'

'If you throw the 100 years into the balance, I beat every one of you, actually.'

That earned him a slap on the back from Sokka who congratulated him on reaching 'elderly teenagerhood', then grasped him in a friendly headlock. They both fooled around till they tripped over the long drapes of the upper living room and tumbled down the short flight of steps. As for me, I simply told the men who delivered our evening meal to bring us some of Aang's favourite foods, for we had had nothing to eat except that red, sweet fruit, then I settled down to hear all about everyone's adventures.

I think it was the liveliest evening we have ever had in Ba Sing Se, and for the whole two weeks we've been here. It was nothing but an impromptu feast to celebrate Aang's thirteenth birthday, but I could see he liked it.

Today was a good day for me too – even though our search turned up no fresh leads and I suppose, mission-wise, the day was completely wasted, on another level, it wasn't. I got to see a return of Aang's joyful spirit, his caring nature, and, more than that, I saw glimpses of a past life that make me understand him better.

Even now, as I write this by the greenish glow of the crystal light between my sleeping mat and Toph's, I can't stop thinking of my day with Aang. I'm still enveloped in the remnants of that warm feeling of earlier... and I'm letting it wash over me...

For tonight, at least.

Tomorrow, I must put all this behind me and focus on our quest, and on my duties. I really, _really_ must.

It's getting so much harder to do so...


	46. Chapter 46

_A/n: I was going to divide this in 2 chapters, but decided against it the last minute. Sorry, it's a bit long..._

**206 th day of our journey and the 22nd in Ba Sing Se. The search for the Avatar's Bison continues. Sokka has divided the map of the city in smaller sections and each of us has been given a zone in which to search. **

**However it is not so easy for many of the streets, especially in the Lower Ring, are narrow and winding, and everywhere else, information is not given freely. **

**Furthermore, other events have cropped up to take our time away from the search for Appa.**

The Zoo is what has taken up Aang's time. The last time I wrote, on Aang's 13 th birthday, we had intended to check out the West gate leading to the Agrarian zone and the trading station there, but as it turned out, the next day, a distraught Kenji sent Aang a message telling him his zoo had been poached!

Apparently, that night, thieves had made away with some of the more exotic animals, since no-one guarded the zoo at night. Aang spent several days rounding up the creatures. It was certainly far easier than it has been with Appa, for one of the poached animals, an Armadillo lion, had been more than his poacher could handle and the resultant uproar, as the beast ran amok in the shadiest part of the Lower Ring, reached Aang's ears . The thief was caught and the poached creatures rounded up. It took several days, and now, with Toph's help, Aang had built Kenji a simple dwelling by the Zoo where he can keep his eyes on his charges. Several exotic animal enthusiasts joined in, and with their help, Kenji's quarters are habitable and will be enlarged to include assistants.

'The Zoo should be safe now,' Aang told us that evening. 'I wish Appa would run amok like that Armadillo lion...he'd be easier to find then.'

Aang's right. As I wrote in the visible part of this journal, Sokka has divided the city in zones so we can go about our search more systematically, yet even though it's only been a couple of days since we took up this new plan, we haven't covered what we were supposed to today.

On a map it looks so much easier...

However, I must admit I got a bit side-tracked too...

My zone included the University and I popped in again today, determined to look for information on the Avatar State. There were many books and scrolls and treatises on past Avatars, especially Earth Kingdom Avatars, but none that contained the information I sought.

The Librarian was defeated. She pushed her spectacles up her nose with a frustrated gesture. 'Of _course_ I know about Avatar Yangchen, but I never heard of the book you're mentioning. Where did you say you found it?'

'In an underground Library.'

She looked at me suspiciously, but I didn't feel like explaining. All I wanted was something about how to control the Avatar State.

'Information about Avatars, unless strictly factual, would be better found in more spiritual places – like Temples and Shrines. I'm sorry I cannot help you, but what you're looking for is something mysterious – only Avatars can understand their own powers. I believe you are friends with the Avatar?'

I ignored both her curiosity and innuendo, and made to leave, but she called me back:

'By the way, have you purchased a Lei-Han scroll?'

'Oh ...uh, no. I was too busy.'

Actually, I had forgotten. True to the promises I had made myself, I was focussing more on my duties and what was important for Team Avatar - the origins of my little Earth Book seemed unimportant compared to finding Appa or helping Aang with the mystery of the Avatar State.

Tonight however, I can't stop thinking about the Book Binder. Perhaps, if I have time tomorrow. I'll look him up...

**207 th day of our journey and the 23 rd in Ba Sing Se: we are making progress in covering the city with Sokka's zone system, however it is very slow progress and every day we fall a bit backwards in the area each of us is supposed to cover. **

**As yet we have found nothing.**

This morning, however, I found out something.

I dare not write it down in the visible part of the journal, because this city's pervading air of secrecy and distrust has rubbed off on me, and I'm unwilling to write down visibly what I've discovered.

It's nothing to do with Appa unfortunately, but it does have something to do with the Earth King .

This little earth Book I'm writing in belongs to _King Kuei!._

Today I went looking for the Lei-Han Family of bookbinders. I suppose I was a bit disheartened by our continuous bad luck in searching for Appa, so I thought I'd allow myself an hour or so to look up something that _could_ be found.

It took me a while to find it but finally, built right onto the wall that separates the Middle Ring from the Lower Ring, I came across a large building with a shop at street level and several workshops to one side. Cartloads of hemp and many strange fibrous plants were shoved up against the wall, and a dull thudding sound came from inside, as of some stone pounding a flat surface. I made straight for the shop.

It was dark inside, but I could see shelf upon shelf of books and papers and scrolls. The smell was strange, but not unpleasant.

'Can I help you?'

The old man was sitting in a darkened corner among piles of empty scrolls and papers and I hadn't seen him .

'I'm looking for Kun Lei-Han,' I said.

'Then you have found him.'

He came up to me then, the maze of wrinkles on his face deepening into a guarded smile. I could see that he was very old, and walked with the help of a stick. But the eyes behind the round spectacles were green and lively and very intelligent.

'I'm ... I'm here because I would like you to evaluate something,' I started, suddenly unsure whether this had been a good idea. 'I have this book and I believe the mark on it is yours.'

'Let's see it then.'

I had had a vague idea that perhaps the Bookmaker would tell me if it was modern or old. Or whether such books were made for mariners...but now I felt reluctant to show it to him. Kun was smiling encouragingly.

I opened the small pouch beneath my water skin and took out the thick little book.

'It – it is a journal of sorts,' I said feeling a bit flustered and still clutching the book tightly in my hands 'But I thought you'd recognise the binding, or this mark.'

His eyes widened as soon as he saw the book but he said nothing, so I opened it and showed him the squat little symbol for 'earth' in the middle of the first page. Kun leaned in closer, pushing his glasses onto his forehead. His arthritic, claw-like hand reached out and touched the page with an odd, caress-like gesture.

'Don't worry, I will not open your diary, young lady,' he said with a knowing smile 'I just want to have a closer look at that mark.' Then he got out a large magnifying glass and bent over the first page, examining the symbol closely.

It took him only a few seconds, then he straightened up, his smile vanished, and he looked me in the eye.

'Where did you get this book?'

'My friend found it washed up on the Northern Water Tribe's city walls,' I said defiantly, for I didn't like his sudden, suspicious tone. What on earth had possessed me to come here? It had been a bad idea!

'The North Pole?!' Kun Lei-Han's tone changed to one of surprise.

'Yes, some days after the Fire Nation Fleet was destroyed.'

The old man gave a start at my words and hastily looked behind him towards a partly-open door leading to a backroom. Without another word, he turned, hobbled to the door and shut it. I kicked myself mentally – I had mentioned the war, though indirectly. I glanced nervously at the windows, but Kun Lei-han had already limped over and was closing them.

'Look – sorry to disturb you. I'll be on my way now. I just thought you knew something about the book-'

'But I _do_ know something about the book - I made it with my own two hands,' Kun Lei Han said 'One of the last I ever made. I'm too old for it now and my sons carry on the business, but this book ... this book is special.'

'Special?'

The old man looked at me in undisguised curiosity, but it was tempered with the ever-present wariness of everyone in Ba Sing Se.

'When you said the Fire Nation Fleet was destroyed,' he said finally, dropping his voice to a whisper '...is it true, then? I've heard the rumours of a great defeat...'

'I thought talk of war was forbidden,' I countered uneasily.

'And so it is – that's why I closed the windows, but people talk anyway. It's just that authentic news from the outside world is difficult to come by. You're Water Tribe – are you the waterbender who accompanied the Avatar? Some University students were in here purchasing scrolls the other day and they were saying they say the _real_ Avatar with his Water Tribe friends and a blind girl had visited Ba Sing Se University...'

'I'm Katara, from the Southern Water Tribe and yes, my brother and I have been travelling with the Avatar for many months now. Toph joined us more recently.'

Kun's expression instantly changed. His smile widened and his eyes shone with pride. 'I'm honoured the Avatar's friend has chosen to visit my humble shop – I've brought up my children on the legends of the Avatar! I will tell you all I can about this book and please excuse my earlier mistrust, but you see, I made this book for a very important Earth Kingdom person, so I was a bit surprised to see you had it...'

'After Zhao's fleet was destroyed we asked all the Fire Nation prisoners and all the Northern Water Tribe warriors, if it belonged to them,' I explained, deciding to trust him 'but no-one claimed it, and I needed a journal. I could see it was made for a traveller...'

'It was made for General Dao, and he had commissioned it for the price of 1000 gold pieces-'

'_A thousand gold pieces?!_' I looked at the small book in surprise: had I known I was scribbling in something so expensive...!

'Yes, I know it sounds like an exorbitant price, but this is no ordinary book, and it is made with no ordinary materials. The Lei-Hans make many fine scrolls and books but these particular rare ones are made using a secret method which has been passed on from generation to generation in my family. Only a handful are made each generation, for it takes almost a whole year to finish just one.'

'A whole year? But what's so –? I mean...'

'What's so important about this rather plain leather book, you may ask, to warrant the trouble and expense of making it?'

I nodded, gazing at my little journal incredulously.

'Well, to put it simply – it is indestructible.'

'The Librarian at Ba Sing Se University did mention Lei Han documents last forever, but she made it sound like it was only a legend.'

Kun's bright green eyes behind his round spectacles twinkled. 'Well, perhaps it is a legend, or perhaps it is magic,' he smiled 'I'm not about to reveal our professional secrets, but rest assured that nothing will destroy your journal, young waterbender – no element has the power to do so: earth, air, water or even fire: each may, in turn, leave their mark, but none can erase what lies within its covers.'

'Nothing?'

'Well, there is only one thing that can mar the words written in this book, and it's not any of the elements. It is not fire, nor water, nor air, nor earth... it is, on the contrary, something very human... I hope you will not discover what it is.' He gave me a mysterious smile.

'Er... That's – that's good to know... I think,' I said, 'But how did you know who it belonged to? There was nothing written in it when I found it.'

'My mark: the Lei-Hun mark: it is immediately recognisable as the best in the paper-making trade, but it also is the symbol representing Earth. And when we mark a book or scroll as rare and expensive as this one, we use a secret code within the symbol itself: the colour; the shape; the relative proportions of each brush stroke: they each tell us something –like, for example, exactly when it was made and by whom. And this book and its mark were made by myself for General Dao, some years ago: a great military man.'

'I thought the journal was made for a traveller, rather than a soldier.'

'Yes, well... General Dao had ...uh ... ambition to travel, if you can call it that.'

I saw the old man shift uneasily. His expression became closed and guarded – something I had come to recognise easily now.

'So why didn't he fill it in?' I prodded 'Why did I find it, still unwritten, hundreds of miles away from here, in the frozen north?'

Kun Lei-han remained silent for a second, then he leaned in closer:

'I knew General Dao well – he was a great military thinker and strategist. Many years ago, when –' he lowered his voice even further, so that he was whispering ' – when the Dragon of the West laid siege to Ba Sing Se, it was General Dao who killed Lu Ten, General Iroh's son, and from that day, the Siege was lifted. General Dao saved Ba Sing Se, but his feat went unacknowledged since the Dai Li suppressed all news of it – nothing was published, nothing was celebrated, and nothing was widely-known about the breach of the Outer Wall and how it was halted. Rumours abounded of course, but they were quickly hushed up. Unfortunately, General Dao was an ambitious man, and he plotted against the Dai Li's stranglehold on the Royal Palace.'

'He planned a revolution?'

'No – that would never have worked. People here are too scared. But he had made contact with General Fong who is in command of a fortress in –

'I know General Fong.'

'Well, together they planned an attack on Fire Nation colonies and he was determined to document everything in an indestructible journal he commissioned from me. The one on the table before us now–'

'But how can that help overcome the Dai Li?'

'Because General Dao intended to give this Book as a gift to Earth King Kuei.'

'The Earth King? Well, that explains the expense at least, but would it have made any difference?'

'He believed it would. He believed the Earth King, who is a great scholar, would have believed what was written in his book. How he intended to get past the Dai Li and give the Earth King his gift, he never confided to me... I suppose he had a plan.' the old man frowned meditatively.

'What happened? Evidently the King didn't get his gift.'

Kun shook his head sadly and, removing his spectacles form his eyes, started rubbing them clean on his shirt.

'No. King Kuei never even got to know about the book. General Dao was ordered to the Front line soon after I handed over this blank book to him. His post here, at Ba Sing Se's Outer Wall, was given to Lieutenant Sung, who was promoted to General. Dao and a small regiment were sent on a suicidal mission to face a large contingent of Fire Nation Soldiers heading north. General Dao was killed a few days later, massacred together with his men.'

'Oh my gosh! Did the Dai Li find out about his plan? Did someone betray him?'

'The Dai Li found out. His orders to march came directly from Long Feng himself,' Kun Lei Han placed his spectacles back on his nose. His eyes were damp now, but the expression in them was both sad and confused 'As for who betrayed him...I don't know, Katara – I don't know.'

I was stunned into silence and my eyes travelled to my little brown-leather journal laying innocuously on the table between us. Actually, I suppose it wasn't mine really: in the event of General Dao's death, I suppose the book rightfully belongs to King Kuei!

I could piece together what happened after General Dao was killed: the large Fire Nation army was heading North to join Zhao's fleet, when they were confronted by Dao's small Earth Kingdom regiment. They destroyed them and the General's possessions were spoils of war. But whoever took it was, in turn, spoiled by war himself and met an end at the bottom of the ocean when Zhao's fleet was destroyed at the Siege of the North.

The book, being indestructible, simply washed up on the outer Ice walls of the Northern Water Tribe city, where Aang had found it.

Fate works in mysterious ways, for now it had worked full circle and the book was once more in the hands of its maker.

'Do you think this book is part of the spoils of war?' I blurted out, voicing my thoughts out loud. 'I hadn't wanted it to be, back at the North Pole...'

'This book is a precious document that will survive this war, for it was _designed_ to ... if you are documenting a journey so wonderful , so incredible, that it is unlike any other, then General Dao's intentions for this book have been in part, fulfilled...'

'I'm documenting the journey with the Avatar.'

'I guessed as much, Katara. The Lower Ring has been abuzz for months now with stories of the Avatar! But I never knew someone would actually be writing it down. Now that I know about it, I deem it an honour that one of my works is being used for so noble a purpose!' he bowed his head.

'I'm - I'm glad you think so. A Professor from Ba Sing Se University has actually given me some pointers on how to do it.'

'I have spent so much time in the Lower Ring, young waterbender, just trying to get news of the Avatar from the refugees, or news of the war. The Lower Ring is the only place to get any credible news. We are so cut off from the real world by these walls...'

His gnarled hands crept over my journal, gently smoothing out the page where the earth symbol was, then he closed the book, his wrinkled fingers running expertly across the cover and down its spine, as though feeling for something.

'You – you can look at it, if you want,' I said suddenly.

He would only see the visible part, anyway.

Kun Lei Han hesitated, his hand still eagerly curled round my book. Then he shook his head.

'No. No, Katara – better not. Dai Li agents may have followed you here, as they follow all notable outsiders, and – and they have ways and means of finding out the truth! They seem to get inside your head without you even knowing' he pushed the book firmly towards me 'I do not even trust _myself_ to know what's in this book. Take it. Take it and make good use of it! Now, it is better that you go – closed shop windows are sure to arouse the suspicion! '

I left rather hurriedly then, because the old man was getting agitated. I half-expected Dai Li agents to be outside waiting for me, but there was no-one (or rather, I couldn't see them). Kun Lei- han's story is a sobering reminder of the Cultural Minister's power, but I'm not about to let him and his agents intimidate me. Perhaps people here, having grown up with the constant, invisible threat of the Dai Li, have that fear ingrained into them, or perhaps it's just my usual prickly reaction to intimidation, I don't know, but I'm more determined than ever now to do something about Long Feng!

I've been thinking about the story behind this little book all evening. I'm certainly going to put even more effort into writing than Professor Zei himself had recommended (After all, I'm writing on paper that is worth far more than its weight in gold!) But what's bothering me now is that this book is not rightfully mine: it should rightfully be inherited by the Earth King, for whom it was intended. Of course, the possibility of meeting King Kuei now are pretty slim, so I guess I won't be able to ask him if I can keep it...

And anyway, what if he says 'no'?

At 1000 gold pieces, I can't even hope of paying him back for it ... and I'm NOT going to part with it, whatever my conscience says! There's too much of my heart and soul poured into this book – there's no amount of money that can compensate me for _that_!

**209 th day of our journey and the 25 th in Ba Sing Se: Our search for the Avatar's Bison continues. Between us, we have roughly covered only a quarter of the city, and four weeks have almost passed. Today, Aang and I were told that a large, furry white animal was being held at the Western Gate and no-one knew what it was. We hurried to investigate, but it was not a Giant Bison.**

**We decided to make our search more efficient to avoid such disappointments, and also to cover more area of the city quicker, by using Flyers. **

**Tomorrow, we will put our plan into action.**

I had been so good these past couple of weeks, since Aang's birthday. Apart from my small detour to visit Kun Lei Han's shop, I had focussed mainly on our search for Appa and I had let nothing else distract me. It had been easy, for as I wrote in the visible part of the journal, we're very busy and still have a lot of ground to cover. Besides, since we split up every morning and each goes his or her separate way, I only get to see Aang when everyone else gathers at home for our evening meal.

Much as I had enjoyed just talking to Aang the day of his birthday, I still can't shake off the feeling that, in the end, it kinda felt more than just talking...

That's why I've been working so hard at finding Appa. I can't afford to make life complicated now – the story about General Dao is lesson enough of the dangers we still find ourselves in here – and without Appa, we have no hope of even knowing what our way forward is in our battle against Ozai! Do we stay in Ba Sing Se on the off-chance of meeting the Earth King and convincing him? Do we try and find other allies for the invasion? Even Sokka doesn't know. A lot hinges on us finding Appa.

In the face of such uncertainties, I should be focussing on our mission and not thinking of Aang morning, noon and night ...

I _am_ focussing on the mission, for my feet have taken me across many weary miles of streets in all three rings of Ba Sing Se, but my heart is a fickle thing, and it keeps reminding me of the warmth of a certain young airbender's smile...

Today, I got more than a smile...

In the morning, when I was clearing away the breakfast stuff, Aang came in with a worried expression.

'Momo's gone,' he said.

'He often goes hunting at night to catch bugs' I said.

'Yeah, but it rained last night, and he never misses breakfast!'

'Hey! Hey- I've got an idea for a Haiku!' my brother shouted from the door ' how about '_Momo's night-time lunch'_ –?'

'How about we get going already?' Toph remarked impatiently, pushing Sokka out of the door .

'Never mind those two,' I told Aang as Toph and Sokka's voices receded down the street, bickering all the way, 'I'll help you look for Momo – he might just be over at Pong's house stealing his blue-berries again.'

'Thanks, Katara.'

I knew that after Appa's kidnapping, Aang felt doubly wary of losing someone else.

Momo wasn't in Pong's garden, so we set off down the street to look for him. Suddenly, a little boy with tousled hair and a gap-toothed smile, jumped out of the bushes.

It was Chen, a kid from a couple of streets down, whom Aang had befriended.

'This is for you,' he said, handing Aang a small note, 'Kenji told me to give it only to you.' and with that he skipped off down the street.

It wasn't the first time Kenji had used Upper Ring children to get a message to Aang. Though technically living near his zoo in the Agrarian zone, Kenji was still considered a lower ring citizen, unable to freely enter the Upper Ring .

Aang opened it up.

'Kenji wants a word with me,' he said as he read the note, and then handed it to me.

'D'you think they poached his zoo again?' I asked, looking at the few short words.

'Nah – he would've said so. It must be something else.' Aang glanced up and down the street.

The street looked deserted, but I understood what he meant: it was something Kenji was afraid to write down, lest it fall in the wrong hands. I stuffed it quickly into my pocket.

'I'll come with you,' I said 'This could be important.'

'Perhaps he has a lead' Aang said in a low voice, unable to hide his excitement.

'Perhaps,' I agreed cautiously.

Sometime later, we joined a small crowd of children and families at the Southern gate of the Inner wall. The opening times for the gate had been increased to accommodate Kenji's now-popular zoo.

Kenji greeted us warmly and, judging by his excited expression, he had some good news for us.

He took us to a secluded spot near the Rabaroo's cage:

'I heard rumours of a giant white furry creature' he whispered excitedly 'They have it in a cage at the Western Gate; they're sayin' no-one saw the likes of it before!'

Aang's eyes lighted up immediately. 'Does it have arrows and six legs and – ? Wait - why didn't they get it here, to the Zoo?' he added suspiciously.

'Afraid that's all I know, young Avatar – They came with it under cover of darkness, so I'm guessin' there's some suspicious wheelin' an' dealin' goin on! That's why they've takin it to the Western gate: it's not so crowded. No doubt it's fer some rich man's menagerie...'

'Thanks, Kenji! We'll leave now!'

'Good luck, Avatar! The Western gate opens in a couple of hours – you'd better hurry, or you'll never find him once inside the city!'

We left at a run. Back at the Southern Gate, I hesitated.

'I think it might be faster if we follow the dirt track round the perimeter of the Inner wall to the Western gate, Aang'.

'Yeah, you're right. Better than cutting across all those winding, crowded streets.'

But we had only walked for a quarter of an hour before we both realised it would take too long.

'Look, Katara – I can run faster – at airbending speed. I can go ahead and –'

'Aang, you don't know what you'll find. You heard Kenji – he said it's something underhand.'

'I can handle them.'

'I know you can. But I want to be there, too. Kenji said the animal was caged – and it may be worse than muzzled.'

He stopped and turned to face me, then his shoulders slumped slightly. 'I know what you're trying to say: I know the risks and I'm not gonna go into the Avatar State.'

'You don't know that.'

'No, I don't,' he agreed with a defeated look 'But I can't miss this chance either. This might be _Appa_ there, Katara! And there's no way to reach the gates on time unless,-' His eyes suddenly widened '- unless we _fly_ there! I'm an idiot! Why didn't I think of this before? It's within the Glider's range!'

He snapped his glider open with an impatient flick of his wrist. 'Grab hold, Katara!'

'What? Oh – right.' I placed one hand on the front shaft of the glider's spread wings.

'No – not like that! Grab hold of _me_.' he said 'It's a long way.'

The air around us suddenly started spinning as Aang created the powerful currents needed for lifting off. I put one arm around Aang's shoulders and one round his neck, but before I could even gather my wits about me, he had airbended us both skywards like an arrow.

I gave an involuntary yell and grabbed on tight with my arms around his neck, clinging on for dear life, for I hadn't been ready. We shot upwards at breakneck speed, until the fields resembled a patchwork blanket beneath us. I had never been this high over land before. My heart was racing, and I was buffeted by the strong upward current as Aang airbended the air around us to overcome the force of gravity of our steep climb.

'Don't worry –I'm not gonna let you fall!' I heard Aang's voice in my ear. 'I just needed to get away as quickly as possible. Perhaps at this height, the Dai Li won't even see us.'

I glanced up at him, and to my surprise there was a mischievous smile on his lips, but he looked away quickly, focussing straight ahead.

I realised I was holding him in a tight embrace and there was no way I could let go. My heart started hammering even more wildly against my chest, and this time, it was not only the speed and height of our flight that was causing it. Aang's body, close to mine, felt as weightless as the glider and air itself swirling about us, yet strangely strong and powerful as he effortlessly carried me up towards the blue sky above.

'There - how does that feel now?' Aang brought the glider to a level flight.

'Wh- what? How does what feel now?' I stammered, flustered 'Oh.'

The feeling of heaviness I had felt as gravity still resisted my steep upward climb was all gone. I felt as light as a feather, even though the strong airbending currents around me were still there.

'It's all about position on an Air glider,' Aang explained.

'Uh...really?'

If he couldn't feel my heart beating against my chest in _this_ position...it felt so intimate...

'If you're not an airbender, in a steep climb, you can still feel gravity if your position is all wrong –' he explained, 'Not that your position is wrong,' he added hastily 'I mean, it sort of _is_, but ... isn't, too.'

I looked up and he was flushed, yet unusually exhilarated. That didn't help, for I felt an answering blush in my cheeks too.

'What I mean is –' he continued ' Look - I'll teach you a real airbender trick: it's called the 'Tandem Rescue Position', In air glider practice we had to learn it just in case someone's glider got torn or damaged, and they had to be rescued on someone else's glider.'

'I'm not an airbender, Aang!'

'No – but I think you've got the right spirit: Remember when we went gliding with Teo at the Northern Air Temple?'

'That was long ago. Besides, that was different - you said so yourself. This is _real_ flying, and I can't airbend!'

'I can compensate for both of us. First, put your feet on the footrest –'

I did as I was told.

'Now put your right hand near mine.'

I glanced up doubtfully at the wooden spars and then at the thousands of feet of distance below me. I hesitated, my hands tightening around Aang's neck. This was not going to be easy – my brain was telling me this was not like the Air Temple – we were not gliding, we were _flying_. Aang was airbending us. I couldn't do that.

'Close your eyes, Katara.'

'What?'

'Close your eyes. Sometimes you see better with your eyes closed: Toph taught me that.'

I looked up at him. His clear gray eyes shone with eagerness, with a simple conviction. I hesitated.

'Trust me,' he said simply.

I nodded slowly. I _did_ trust Aang, with my life. I closed my eyes.

'Feel the air around you, how it moves...' Aang voice spoke softly in my ear – 'you are almost weightless in this up-current. You are free ... free to move and glide and float. Free as the Air itself.'

Aang was right: with my eyes closed I could concentrate on the way the air was moving me – on the banking and rolling of the glider as it moved forward through the warm spring air. A myriad sensations wrapped themselves around me – the sound and the feel of the wind in my hair , the warmth of the sun and the smell of the growing things below, but most of all, the powerful currents created by the young airbender whose reassuring warmth I was pressed up against.

'Now, follow my right arm with yours and place it on the leading spar, near mine ...'

And it was easy.

My hand grabbed hold of the wooden spar, tightening around it as I had done once before when crossing the Serpent's pass, but this position felt very different. With one hand still round Aang's waist, the other holding the front of the glider, I had the sensation of spreading my wings – emulating the glider – or a bird - even though my eyes were still closed. It was exhilarating!

'Ok, open your eyes now.'

I blinked – we were flying over a sea of green and yellow fields. Aang had brought us down a bit lower and further away from the Inner Wall. I felt my eyes widen in wonder. Hand-Gliding in the Northern Air temple had been exciting, and I had thought then, that that was as close as I would ever get to feeling what an Airbender feels when flying.

But I was wrong: this was entirely a different matter – this was how a bird felt as it soared effortlessly through the air, with the wind turned into a powerful force that could lift and move. The Airbending currents that swirled around me acted not only on the gliders wings but on me, too - this was flying and I was one of the privileged few who had experienced it this way. Perhaps the only non-airbender who had ...

'Aang this is wonderful!' I gasped, looking round at him.

I found him he had been observing me.

If eyes are sometimes called the 'windows to the soul', then Aang had very large and transparent ones.

Especially up this close.

Only inches away, I could see details like the darker tones on the outside of the iris, the lighter gray on the inside. I could even see the tiny silvery flecks that sometimes seemed to become lighter or darker with his mood ...

But what made my heart skip a beat was the expression in them... I had seen it before: usually just a fleeting glimpse, gone before I was sure it had really been there... but now - now there was no mistaking that blazing, warm _look_ of fondness in his eyes, as I enthused over the flying.

I blushed to the roots of my hair.

I think Aang noticed, for as I tore my eyes away, he banked the glider gently round for we had been veering west.

'Glad you like it, Katara – I had a feeling you would,' he paused, then: 'Which is just as well because look – no hand!'

I looked round once more; he was waving his right hand between us. Alarmed, I looked up to see I was holding on to the right side of the glider _by myself._

'What on earth - ?! _Aang!_'

'Whoa - steady!'

The glider wobbled as I almost let go of the leading spar. I tightened my hold again and closed my eyes, remembering what Aang had said. He did not put his hand back near mine but let me find the way to bring it back into balance. Finally, I opened my eyes and concentrated on the way ahead.

Soon we were flying smoothly again, like some bright orange bird over the square fields.

'I'm airbending to provide the lift for the glider, but we're both controlling it together,' Aang said, turning to me with a small smile 'You're doing great, Katara.'

' _We're_ doing great ...' I answered, with a shy smile '...We always do' I added, purposely repeating, in the present tense, what he had once answered in the past tense.

I felt his right arm slip about my waist then, and ever so slightly pull me towards him. My heart skipped not one, but several beats then, and I found I could barely breathe – all my resolutions and promises went clean out of my head – (not for the first time, I must add) - but I didn't care because it felt so good and so ... _natural!_

I tried to argue with myself, later, that it was just the Airbender 'Tandem Rescue Position' that Aang had explained, but I don't think I fooled myself- I just couldn't ignore how I felt up there between earth and sky - to say I felt like flying was probably right, both in the literary sense and in the figurative sense, and I had not missed the little proprietary hug Aang gave me when he put his arm around my waist... I remember my arm tightening in response around him, too.

All this and more was going through my head, when we saw something up ahead.

'It's the western Gate!' Aang said.

But it wasn't that which had drawn our attention: there was something else. A dark smudge in front of the gate surged and ebbed around something big and square in its centre. As we got closer, we saw it was a large crowd of people milling around a partially-covered cage that rattled and moved.

Soon we could hear the loud growls from within the cage.

'It's too small to contain Appa,' Aang said immediately, his voice heavy with disappointment.

'Whatever it is sounds pretty angry – and strangely familiar,' I said squinting at the cage ahead.

'Turn the glider slightly - like that ' Aang instructed as we got closer ' We'd better see what they've got anyway.'

I followed his instructions and the glider banked to one side and sank lower. The crowd parted to let us land, noticing us at the very last minute, for their attention had been on the wobbling cage.

Shouts of '_the Avatar_!' came from the startled crowd.

Aang ignored them, snapped his glider shut, and marched up to the cage. He was right, of course: the cage was too small to contain Appa – but a huge, white paw with sharp claws came down suddenly on the bars of the cage, actually bending them.

Aang use his staff to send a strong blast of wind at the cage, blowing away the tattered tarp that covered it.

A large, shaggy white creature stood there, snarling its hatred at the ring of curious onlookers. It's fur was matted and grey with dirt and there were several sores on its hocks and rump – probably from a combination of malnutrition and the hard, confined space, but I recognised it immediately.

'That's a Polar bear Dog!' I shouted.

'A what?!' a scrawny-looking guy with a squint and buck teeth was scowling at me as the crowd murmured in alarm.

'A Polar Bear Dog!' I repeated 'They're from the South Pole! What is it doing so far away from my home?'

'I bought it fair 'n square off a some trader down south. He said it makes a good pet!'

'A good pet?! He'll have your spleen for breakfast!' I cried.

As if on cue, the great white beast launched itself at the bars again, denting them. People jumped back in alarm.

'They refuse to let it through at the gates' another man spoke up 'Jianyu's rich client saw how savage it is, and he don't want it no more! Ya got yourself a dud deal, Jianyu!'

'Shurrup, Chuan!' the scrawny guy muttered angrily.

Some of the crowd were laughing at Jianyu's discomfort; others were still looking warily at the cage, where Aang was examining the white shaggy beast. It had calmed down somewhat, but still had that steely glint in its eyes that said it would make meat pulp out of whoever got too near.

'Hey - you wouldn't want him yourself would ya, young lady? Ya said this thing was from your part of the world, right? I'll give ya a good price –once ya break it in, it'll make a good ride.'

'No-one has ever ridden a Polar-bear dog!' I said tightly. 'they're very difficult to tame and impossible to ride.'

'I thought you'd say that' Jianyu muttered morosely.

'So what are you gonna do now, huh?' Aang came over and eyed Jianyu angrily 'Are you prepared to take this animal back to the South Pole?'

'Ya kiddin' me? I barely have enough for the train ride outa here!' Jianyu exclaimed, then he lowered his voice 'I bet everything I had on making this deal –I'm broke! The Guards at the gate want me to take it back to Ba Sing Se's Outer Wall.'

'And then what? Release it there, on the edge of the Si Wong desert?' Aang told him angrily 'It won't survive – and it's very hungry, I can tell!'

'Yeah, so can I,' a sour-looking man from the crowd said, sarcastically. 'You'd better get rid of it before it escapes and eats us up!'

Many voices joined him in the crowd, all muttering angrily at the poor Polar bear dog. I went over to the cage – Polar bear dogs could be very vicious and dangerous. My people had always kept their distance, and there were times the men of my tribe had to hunt down rampaging males if they became a danger to the village. However, there were also tales of how orphaned Polar Bear Cubs had been raised by hand and tamed.

The creature's large head turned towards me with a low, warning growl, but the large brown eyes were frightened and bewildered. I felt Aang come up behind me.

'Appa's eyes are brown, too,' I whispered, feeling a lump in my throat.

Was this Appa's fate too? Imprisoned in a strange place, stared at by curious onlookers who didn't understand or care for him? Unable to understand what he'd done to deserve such treatment? I tried to get a grip on myself – if I felt bad, how must Aang be feeling?

I looked round at him. Aang was staring stonily at the cage.

'We gotta do something, Aang' I said immediately. Action is always better than doing nothing. 'what if we ask –?'

'-Kenji to look after him?' he said, anticipating my words 'That's what I was thinking.'

He left my side and with a blast of wind that had everyone clutching at their robes and hats, he silenced the angry crowd.

'Ok- I think we have a solution to your problem,' he told them.

While Aang explained about Kenji's Zoo, I turned back to the cage and froze a thin shield of ice from a nearby irrigation ditch around the cage, leaving just the top exposed. Polar Bear Dogs love the ice, for it's their natural habitat, and it would shield this big guy from those annoying stares.

It was almost an hour later when the nervous Ostrich-horses were hitched to the cage and Jianyu and his captive animal started on their way. The crowd had finally dispersed, and the Polar bear dog had quieted down in the familiar casing of ice. I hoped it would last for a good part of the five-hour journey ahead.

'We'll go ahead of you and prepare Kenji for your arrival,' Aang told Jianyu 'This animal is going to need a big pen!'

'And perhaps a deep, cool pool of water. I'll help you, Aang.' I said.

'Thank you, Avatar,' Jianyu interposed. 'It was getting ugly back there – I thought they'd lynch me if the brute escaped.'

'That's a _Polar Bear Dog_, not a brute!' I told him heatedly 'It's not its fault, if it found itself a thousand miles from home!'

'Just don't barter with animals anymore!' Aang continued, tersely.

'Yeah, ok – I'll stick to other ...uh ...goods. See you this evening, Avatar!'

He creaked slowly in his way and Aang and I watched him for a while. I stole a look at the young airbender standing next to me – his eyes had a hard, angry expression as he gazed at the receding cage. Beneath that, however, was the sharp pain of a fresh disappointment. Both emotions were seething through his mind, just as they were through mine – yet he controlled himself well.

I knew it was hard – I think we had both let Kenji get our hopes up this morning. But Appa's whereabouts were elusive as ever. Unlike Aang, I had no unusual bond with Appa, and it felt as though he had disappeared off the face of the earth. I suppressed sigh as Jianyu and his wagon disappeared in the distance.

Aang opened his glider and wordlessly turned to me.

He didn't need to say anything. I could tell he was putting on a brave face, in the wake of this new disappointment. I took my place by his side in silence and put one hand on the glider and one hand round Aang's waist.

Aang's powerful air currents swirled around me once more and I was swept off my feet and into the air. I felt his arm around me, steadying me while I found my balance and assumed the position I had learnt.

Unlike this morning, Aang kept us flying low over the fields. We overtook Jianyu almost immediately and then flew swift and low over the patchwork fields, not talking, but drawing a certain comfort from the fact that each knew the other was being strong about this. After about a quarter of an hour - I was just slowly losing myself in the sensation of feather-light speed, of the feel of the wind in my hair bearing me onwards... when suddenly, something flew out of my pocket.

It was Kenji's note from this morning. The wind caught the small paper, playfully tossing it this way and that, like a wayward butterfly-moth... Aang banked slightly to see what we had lost then brought us round again when he recognised it as unimportant.

The next instant I was flying upside down as Aang looped us backwards in a complete turn.

I gave an involuntarily shriek when I saw the earth where the sky should be.

'Sorry!' Aang said, bringing us back on an even keel. 'But - Katara, look!' There was such suppressed excitement in his voice - yet all I could see was the small paper I had lost, still fluttering gaily in the warm afternoon wind.

'What is it, Aang?'

He turned to look at me, his eyes shining with excitement. 'I've got a great idea! Hang on –'

I felt his arm shift slightly and I correctly interpreted this as a sharp turn to the right, towards a vast, grassy plain at the foot of some low hills. Then he brought us lower, increasing the air currents so that we slowed down almost to complete halt. A few feet off the ground I hopped off and he landed next to me.

'I've got a great idea, Katara!' he repeated, snapping the glider shut. 'I know how we can find Appa – or at least, how we can manage to ask all of Ba Sing Se in one day!'

'What!? How?'

'Flyers! Hundreds of them!'

I remembered the little paper fluttering in the wind, and the same infectious excitement took hold of me.

'Aang! That's a really great idea! Why didn't we think of it before?'

'Why didn't _Sokka_ think of it before?' he grinned.

'Sokka's brains are addled with Haiku poetry – he's been going to Madam Macmu-ling every evening.'

'He'll wish he thought this up – he's the idea guy.'

'Oh – he will probably insist it had been his idea all along. We'll just let him think so.'

Aang chuckled, then picked a reed-like twig, knelt down and started sketching a rough idea of what he wanted the flyers to look like in the loose soil between the thick clumps of reed-like grass. I sat down near him.

'It'll have a picture of Appa - that'll avoid disappointments like today, and everyone will know what I'm talking about.'

'Yeah – and Aang, I think I know just the shop where to get them from,' I was thinking about Kun Lei-Han''s workshop and told him 'We would buy paper there. Perhaps he might even have a printing press...

We spent the next half-hour eagerly discussing the design and layout of our flyers and we soon had a rough idea of what to write on them. Jianyu still had not appeared along the dirt-track that followed the perimeter of the Inner Wall.

'D you mind if we wait here till Jianyu shows up?' Aang asked 'I just wanna make sure he hasn't changed his mind or anything.'

'I don't think he has much choice – he'll be in trouble if he doesn't find what to do with that animal! But sure, let's wait for him. We'll still reach Kenji hours ahead of him on the glider!'

I lay back on the soft clumps of grass, pushing the thicker reed-like ones out of the way and gazed at the distant dirt road that threaded its way along the circular contours of the Inner Wall. We were at the base of several low hills and the grassy plain we were on sloped a bit upwards. This gave us a better vantage point from where to observe Jianyu's arrival. Aang sat on a small rock a couple of feet above me, facing the distant dirt road.

Then I noticed he had taken out his small blue razor form his pocket and, using its detachable blade, was whittling away at one of the bamboo-like reeds.

'What are you doing?' I asked, curiously.

'A reed flute. These are almost like bamboo,' he said, looking up with a fleeting smile.

'There are no Singing Groundhogs here'

'This is for that little kid, Chen, to thank him for getting me Kenji's messages. It's not the first time he helped me out that way.'

I watched him in silence as he worked. Like he had done on the windy plains before we travelled to the Misty Palm Oasis, he had soon fashioned a reed flute. His fingers were deft and skilful as he carved the thin pipe, making 6 finger holes and a curved, fluted edge at one end, as well as some shallow swirling designs along the body. He blew several notes on it until finally he was satisfied.

'Yeah – he'll like this,' he said, then he played a short melody. The beautiful liquid notes of the flute danced on the breeze for a few seconds, and were then borne away by the wind, leaving me longing for more.

I sat up. 'Hey – Aang, play something for me?' I asked, looking up to where he sat. Then felt inexplicably shy.

Aang didn't notice.

'Sure,' he said, bringing the flute once more to his lips.

The beautiful clear notes of the flute rose once more above the patchwork fields and soon I forgot where I was and why I was shy - I closed my eyes and forgot everything as the sweet music bore me along with it.

Of all musical instruments, I think the flute has the most ethereal sound: drums stir the blood with their beat; string instruments are sweet for a song; but the flute is a wind instrument that has the capacity to lift the spirit high above mortality- to move your very soul.

And Aang certainly knew how to play - at first the music was lively: fast, clear notes that called for the spirit to dance, carefree and wayward like a summer breeze, but then there was a subtle change, and the music became slower, turning gradually into a haunting melody that drifted high over the plains like the dry, restless wind.

I opened my eyes and looked up at Aang. He seemed to have forgot himself too... his eyes were lowered, his fingers flew nimbly over the flute and he was lost in his music ... a lilting chant that spoke of the wind in high mountains, of the clouds and the air… then the clear notes lifted even higher, keening plaintively like the wind before a storm and then, once again, another change: and the flute's high voice died down to a yearning, sad refrain...

Over and over again Aang repeated this hauntingly-beautiful refrain – there was such a searching, yearning, sadness in the music, such an exquisite longing for something or someone, that I felt as though my heart was being torn to shreds. It was as if the flute could speak ... and there were tears in the story it told ...a story of a loss. I knew that somehow.

Was this about the sad loss of Appa, a wound prodded into life by our recent disappointment, or was the voice of someone from a lost childhood many, many, years ago?

Aang's fingers drew the sad refrain again and again from the simple reed flute until there was such a tight feeling in my chest that I couldn't breathe. His music had swept me away in an intensity of sound, of emotions, that were somehow as clear as if they were words...

Then he stopped abruptly, took a deep breath that verged on a sigh and opened his eyes to stare sombrely at the plains. Now I could hear only the wind over the grassy plain, faintly echoing the song. I sat at his feet, staring open-mouthed at the young airbender, so moved that I couldn't speak – even though I was a loss as to the real reason why.

He seemed to shake himself out of it:

'Sorry, he said 'that was meant to be more upbeat, but –'

He stopped guiltily as he looked down at me and saw the expression on my face.

'That music – that was your mother's song, right?' I said softly.

'I don't really know that, but yeah – it's the song I told you about, that's been in my head since forever. Dunno why I played that now'

'Don't you?'

He glanced at me and then away again. 'Yeah, I guess I do ... I miss Appa,' he admitted 'And that's why I understand this music better now...I never really did before. It must have been hard for my parents to give me up that young ... I know that now.'

'They had a _duty_ to do so – but sometimes, it's kinda hard to accept that, too.' I stopped, for my mind instinctively shied away from thoughts of what duty had led my father to do.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, lost in our thoughts. When Aang broke the silence, he spoke vehemently:

'I hope the flyers work – when we first got here I felt Appa's presence so close... then there was nothing, but these last couple of days – I can _feel_ he's here, Katara. It's so strong - I was positive it was him when Kenji told us, so why aren't we finding him?! Or signs of him having been here?! It's so frustrating!'

'He must be in the city somewhere Aang – we've barely covered a quarter of it. With those Flyers, we'll cover the whole city in one day – the wind will carry them everywhere. Someone, somewhere, is bound to have seen something!'

He looked marginally happier, then he saw something in the distance and stood up. I turned round and saw a small dust cloud raised by a couple of ostrich horses pulling a covered wagon.

Jianyu had made it to the half-way point. I stood up and went to Aang's side.

'See? Jianyu still on his way to the South Gate, like he said he would. Even though it isn't Appa, I feel kinda glad we went there, Aang. At least that poor Polar bear dog will find a better home.'

'Yeah – you're right. It won't be exactly the habitat it's used to, but we've saved its life. Let's go help Kenji get ready for it.' Aang looked definitely more cheerful as he put Chen's gift in his pocket and snapped open his Glider.

I smiled and nodded, then took my position by his side. This time, our take-off was smoother, for I was getting the hang of how to stay on the glider. Aang took us into a steady climb then levelled off and we sped onwards, as fast as the wind itself. The patchwork fields below us blurred into one another as we picked up even more speed. For the most part, we flew straight, but I started intuitively anticipating when Aang was about to bank to the right or the left – possibly because I could feel him move against me and I could adjust the way I held my side of the glider accordingly – as long as he didn't turn a complete circle again ( I didn't think I could handle that again!) I felt I was becoming quite confidant in the air. It struck me once more just how easily Aang and I fall into a harmonious synchronicity – apparently not only when waterbending together, but even in an element which was not my own.

The afternoon sun was still high in the sky when we saw the Southern gate in the distance, and soon we were landing near the complex of small earthen houses Aang and Toph had built for Kenji his family and the wild life enthusiasts who were helping him out in the zoo.

We explained about the Polar Bear Dog and even though Kenji had never taken care of one, like a true animal-lover, he was eager to find a better place for it in his zoo. I watched as Aang earthbended a pen complete with a deep, cool cave and deeper pit to hold water. I filled the pit with water and froze it over – it would be a welcome environment for the Polar Bear Dog, for as long as the ice lasted. I told Kenji and his helpers all I knew about the South Pole animal and by the time we finished, Jianyu had appeared. The ice round the cage had melted, and the poor animal was hot and hungry and just plainly annoyed at being in a cage, so when we finally released him into his new home, I could almost see the relief on his shaggy white face.

All in all, it was a better ending to the day than I had expected, especially when we got home and to his great relief, Aang found Momo curled up asleep in his bag, a bit muddy, but otherwise fine. Toph and Sokka arrived soon after we did and when we explained about the flyers they were just as enthusiastic.

'Not only Flyers - _Posters_!' ' Sokka exclaimed 'Lost-animal Posters – we can stick 'em up all over the city! It'll save us lots of running about. Wait - I got a great idea! I'll paint a picture of Appa so everyone'll know what he looks like –' he went on in this vein for some time, just as though he had thought of everything himself.

Aang and I exchanged an amused smile, and we let him chatter on about 'his' idea. The mood has certainly lifted a bit and we're all happier our search has taken a more positive turn.

It's late in the evening now and Toph is already asleep, sprawled inelegantly all over her mat. I'm glad the green crystal lights can't bother her for I can't get to sleep tonight: beautiful music is still playing in my head, and I can't forget just how wonderful ... how _natural_ it felt to be up there, in the air, with Aang by my side.

I'm desperately trying to gather the remnants of my resolutions about keeping my distance... but I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle ... every day, I feel that I'm closer to losing my heart completely ...

Perhaps I already have, and it's just the fact that I haven't openly admitted anything that is keeping up the illusion that Aang and I are just friends...

If only King Kuei knew what I was writing in his book... This _is_ the Avatar's story, but the perspective is from that of a girl who is falling ever so deeper for whom she shouldn't ...

Yes – _shouldn't!_

I have to remember that if things don't work out, then the words I have written here will only serve to haunt me and torture me for a long time to come … after all, Kun Lei-han said this book is indestructible.

* * *

greeneyes-17 deviantart/Outside-the-walls-of-Ba-Sing-Se


	47. Chapter 47

**210 th Day of our journey and 26 th in Ba Sing Se. Today was very eventful. The most important thing that happened today is that finally, after almost 4 weeks in this city, we have had a breakthrough in our search for the Avatar's Bison! **

**We used leaflets and posters with Appa's picture on them, and distributed them far and wide. Apparently, this was against some of the interminable list of regulations of this city, but the Avatar forcefully objected to this and we persisted in our campaign. Which was just as well, for it was one of our leaflets that brought us the lead on Appa's whereabouts in the unlikely person of Jet, the Freedom Fighter we had met many months ago in a forest near Gaipan village.**

**I was not disposed to trust him after our experiences in Gaipan, but Jet led us to an empty barn where we found traces of Appa having been kept there. An old man there said Appa is on Whaletail Island.**

**But our most sinister discovery came a few minutes later, when we met up with Smellerbee and Longshot, members of Jet's gang. It seems that there is something very strange going on, and Jet's mind has been tampered with as part of a sinister plan to lead us off track.**

**Tomorrow, we will find out if Jet remembered correctly what he was brainwashed not to: the Dai li's secret headquarters under Lake Laogai!**

This morning I took Aang to Kun Lei- Han's workshop at the borders of the Middle Ring with the Lower Ring, to see if we could get some paper for the posters and leaflets.

Kun Lei-han was overwhelmed with pride to have been visited by the Avatar himself – he not only gave us the paper for free, he even had a small printing press and offered to print them for us! I was a bit surprised, for at the end of my last visit he had become rather wary and nervous.

But the old Bookmaker called in several artists and calligraphers from the work-rooms at the back of his shop and had Aang describe Appa in detail, so that the format of the posters could be laid out.

Now, in hindsight, I remember that Kun Lei Han did not mention my book – not even once, and he kept glancing out of the shop door. It is only now, after today's events, that the old man's words have come back to me far more meaningfully than when he had first uttered them: '_They seem to get inside your head without you even knowing'_ Kun Lei Han had said of the Dai Li, when I had offered him to read my diary.

I hadn't placed much importance on those words then, but after what happened with Jet today, those words have taken on a more sinister meaning.

At that moment, however I was completely oblivious and just plainly happy to be out with Aang doing something positive about finding Appa. By mid-morning, Aang had a bagful of really good Appa-leaflets, complete with a picture of him, a description and our address.

Back home, we showed the other two the result of our morning's work –– now all we had to do was distribute them.

We agreed the leaflets had to go first – they were the quickest means of spreading the news, as well as the fastest. Aang and Momo flew high above the city releasing the flyers above and across all three rings of Ba Sing Se. It was an enormous space to cover and it took Aang many hours. He came back around mid-afternoon, impatiently asking if there had been any news yet.

'_It's_ only been a day,' I told him 'just be patient.'

To our surprise however, a moment later there was a knock on the door.

Aang ran over eagerly, thinking someone had already come with news, but when he opened the door Joo Dee stood there – the _original_ Joo Dee – false smile and all!

'What happened to you?' Sokka asked 'Did the Dai Li throw you in jail?'

She dismissed the idea, saying she'd been on a relaxing vacation to Lake Laogai in the country. We stared at her disbelievingly, but when she told us the reason why she had come, our disbelief turned to exasperation and annoyance: she said dropping leaflets without permission was against the rules.

'We can't wait around to get permission for everything!' Sokka protested.

'You are absolutely forbidden by the rules of the city,' Joo Dee said, still with that unnatural smile plastered on her face 'to continue putting up posters.'

I had forgotten how much I hated that false smile! Frustration and anger rose up in me at their stupid rules, their stupid smiles, and stupid city, but for Aang it was the last straw and his frustration boiled over. He pushed his face into hers and shouted at her, completely beside himself:

'WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE RULES,' he yelled 'AND WE'RE NOT ASKING PERMISSON!' red-faced and waving his arms wildly, Aang advanced on the now-cowering Joo Dee who hastily took a couple of steps backwards.

'We're finding Appa on our own and _you_ should just stay out of our way!' he ended by slamming the door in her face.

I barely refrained from cheering. Those were my sentiments exactly! We had been here for almost four weeks and had _nothing_ to show for it! We were all frustrated, but it was worse for Aang.

'From now on we do whatever it takes to find Appa,' he said still glaring at the door he had just slammed in Joo Dee's face.

'YEAH! Let's break some rules!' Toph shouted and promptly blasted away the nearest wall of our house.

I was so ticked off myself at the latest and stupidest obstacle to our search (I mean- whoever heard of needing permissions for lost-animal posters?!) that I didn't even chide her. After yesterday's disappointment with the Polar Bear Dog, we were really happy to be doing something more positive towards finding Appa.

Though Aang hasn't said anything his bison's loss is really weighing heavily on him. The sad music, yesterday, spoke volumes. We needed to get things moving, one way or another!

And move things did – though not quite from the direction I had anticipated.

I was sticking posters to a stone column in a Lower Ring square through which a small stream passed, feeling definitely rebellious, when I heard someone call my name.

A voice that was unsettlingly familiar.

I whirled round and there, walking towards me from the other end of the square, just as though he had dropped out of a forest tree, was Jet. He was exactly the same: tall, with the same roguish good looks, the same easy manner…. Yet now, all I saw now were a swaggering walk and an overbearing smile: shallow characteristics that hid a monster beneath.

'I think I can help you,' he said, smiling confidently.

Who did he think he was talking to?! Did he think I'd forgotten what happened to Gai Pan village? Or did he think he could still charm me with a few well-chosen words? I felt my face redden with shame at the sudden flood of memories I thought would never come back to haunt me,…I didn't even stop to think - I swept my arms to form two towering waves from the stream beyond the pillar, sending them crashing towards him.

'Katara! I've changed!' he shouted, just before he was swept away by the water.

Well, so have I.

I'm not a naive, gullible young girl anymore ...

I ran to the alleyway where he had been swept away, drawing more water towards me to attack again: 'Tell it to some other girl, Jet!'

I fired ice spikes at him, pouring all my anger and hatred into them as I sent them flying swiftly towards him. I think a lot of that anger was really anger at myself, for having let myself be duped by someone like him, for letting myself be _used_ ...

My mistake in trusting him had almost cost the lives of a whole village!

Jet barely managed to deflect the ice shards out of the way but then he surprised me by dropping his hooked swords to the ground, insisting he didn't want to fight, but to help me.

I refused to believe him – _Jet played with people_: luring them with false promises, false notions, false heroics: as soon as his hand twitched to reach for something behind his back, I let loose another flurry of ice shards, pinning him to the wall.

I heard the others come running up behind me, drawn by the commotion.

They were surprised to see Jet. I told them he couldn't be trusted, but when he opened his hand to reveal one of our Leaflets, and said he could help us find Appa, I could feel the others' hostility wavering.

Well, mine wasn't.

'Katara, we have to give him a chance.' Aang pleaded.

I didn't like it – Jet would think nothing of using Aang's desperation to his own advantage, whatever that might be. He said he'd changed, that he didn't even have his gang anymore, but I didn't believe a word he said.

Then Toph walked over to the wall and placed the palm of her hand flat against its surface, by Jet's side.

'He's not lying,' she declared.

'How can you tell?' Sokka asked.

'I can feel his breathing and heart beat. When people lie, there is a physical reaction. He's telling the truth.'

I barely had time to take in what Toph was saying, before I realised that they were all looking at me.

'Katara, we don't have any leads,' Aang said, beseechingly 'If Jet says he can take us to Appa, we have to check it out.'

I gave in. I couldn't ignore the desperate plea in his voice – he was right: it was the first time in 4 weeks anyone had ever said they knew anything at all about Appa. But why did it have to be someone like Jet?!

I warned the Freedom Fighter I'd be keeping my eyes on him and then melted the ice shards pinning him to the wall, releasing him. I had a very bad feeling about this – for weeks no-one had seen or heard anything about Appa and then suddenly Jet, the most deceitful person I have ever known, turns up with news! It didn't feel like a coincidence….

'It's not far from here,' he told the others 'There's this big warehouse on the eastern part of the Lower Ring...'

Aang followed him eagerly, his mind solely on finding Appa, Sokka and Toph were also walking by his side, listening to his story of how he came to Ba Sing Se to start a new life, and I brought up the rear, far enough to keep my eyes on the tall figure of the Freedom Fighter, yet close enough to hear what he was saying.

I knew that if this was another false alarm Aang would take it badly, but what was worrying me more was that it felt like Jet was manipulating us yet again. I kept my doubts to myself until we reached the place Jet had spoken about –it was suspiciously close by - a huge warehouse in a rundown area of the Lower Ring where many such storehouses abounded, but there was nothing inside. The whole thing screamed to me that it was a trap – but then Toph picked up some Appa fur and that's when, for the first time, I knew Jet must have spoken the truth ( at least in part). A toothless old man with a broom, who was desultorily sweeping the floor, told us Appa had been shipped to Whaletail Island for some 'rich royal type' – whether for a zoo or for meat he wasn't quite sure.

Aang was frantic_ '_We've gotta get to Whaletail Island!' he turned to Sokka who was reading our map.

We knelt by the map as Sokka pointed it out. It was almost back at the South Pole. I spoke out loud what was very obvious: it would take _weeks_ just to get to the tip of the Earth Kingdom and then a sea voyage to get to the island.

Aang stood up. 'I don't care,' he said 'We have a chance to find Appa. We have to try!'

No-one said anything as we took in what he was saying (except the toothless old man who didn't have a clue what we were talking about – or so I thought then - and would've done better to shut up!): the decision to go after Appa would almost surely mean we would not be able to carry out any invasion plan on the day of the Solar Eclipse, because, even assuming we got back on time, there was still the matter of finding the right allies. It was a weighty decision to make. Aang's eyes sought mine and I stood up and went to him at once. I knew what was more important.

'You're right, Aang' I said putting my hand reassuringly on his shoulder 'Right now, our first concern has to be finding Appa. We can come back when we have him.'

He gave me a grateful smile. No-one questioned the decision: we all knew what Appa meant to Aang – to all of us really. Appa was family and we had to get him back. Our other plans would have to be put on hold.

Jet offered to come with us.

All the way to the Whaletail Island _with him_! He had to be kidding!

'We don't need you help!' I told him.

'Why won't you trust me?' he said walking out of the barn after Sokka and Aang

'Gee, I wonder?' Did he think that by finding a clue to Appa's whereabouts he could sidle his way into my trust again?! After what he did to me?

'Was this guy your boyfriend or something?' Toph was saying.

'What? No!'

She took me by surprise: what made her say that? I had almost skewered him with ice shards a moment ago and I was the only one to refuse to trust him where the rest of the team seemed ready to let bygones be bygones. Or was it, perhaps, that very fact that made her say that?

But there was something else that I had forgotten about Toph.

'I can tell you're lying...' she teased with a smirk.

I ran off, a confused flush on my face. I _wasn't_ lying! Jet had never been my boyfriend - but yes – there had been _something._ Something a foolish young girl had let go to her head... something very stupid, now that I can see it in the light of many months and experiences later. How could I have been so naive as to let myself be swept off my feet by _him?!_ He was the one who had lied – about many things, not only his intentions and plans for Gaipan.

I made my way after them, leaving Toph to follow me. I felt a bit disgruntled to discover how she can even tell who is lying or not. I knew she was sensitive enough to feel someone shaking with fear, but now, even the heartbeat and breathing pattern when telling a lie... I had long suspected she could tell some of people's emotions, even though she can never ever see them on anyone's face ... but I wonder what else, exactly, she can make out of hidden feelings...

And my feelings have been all over the place these past days. If she can sense the subtle changes of a lie, then I wonder what she has made of the sudden inexplicable fluttering of my heart sometimes, when Aang is near…. especially in recent days. Of course, she may not have realised the correlation. After all, she thinks I'm interested in Jet…

I hurriedly caught up with the others. I did not want to end up for weeks (if not months) in Jet's company – and he seemed to have every intention of following us to the edge of the Earth Kingdom and beyond, for he was already discussing the route out of the city with Aang and my brother!

I wanted to be rid of the Freedom Fighter!

Suddenly, there was a shout behind us:

'Jet!'

It was Smellerbee and Longshot who had appeared out of a side street.

All my suspicions came flooding back, stronger than before - especially when Smellerbee explained Jet had been arrested by the Dai Li a couple of weeks ago! Jet denied it, but Toph, placing her hand on the ground between them said they were _both_ telling the truth.

'Toph can't tell who's lying because they _both_ think they're telling the truth,' Sokka said with sudden insight.' Jet's been brainwashed!'

'That's crazy! It can't be.' Jet cried.

But for the first time, I could see that he was genuinely distressed and completely bewildered. All his self-confidence seemed to evaporate as we crowded suspiciously around him, and he was faced with the gang members he denied he still had. The Jet I knew would have either nonchalantly admitted the deceit, or invented some plausible excuse. Instead, he looked confused and almost panicking.

Perhaps my brother was right. Perhaps he _was_ brainwashed.

'Where d'you live?' Sokka asked him.

'I – not far from here. Down in the East section Why?' he asked.

'Jet what's wrong with you? We found quarters in the south near the Pao Family Tea House, remember?' Smellerbee told him. 'What have the Dai Lee done to you?'

'We'd better get him off the streets,' Sokka muttered 'C'mon, Jet, we're taking you home.'

It was dusk when Jet led us to a dingy, three-storey house. He lived in one of the rooms on the top floor. It was small, with a straw mattress, bare floorboards, and lit by one single lantern. Smellerbee said they had never been here before, yet Jet insisted he'd been living there ever since he came to the city. But he was speaking in an increasingly uncertain voice, as though he knew now that something was not quite right, even in his own head.

We were even more convinced that this was all a plot to mislead us, and that Appa was right here in the city: possibly the same place where the Freedom Fighter had been taken. Jet sat on a low stool, looking up at us confusedly.

'Where did they take you?' Aang asked him.

'Nowhere,' he said looking befuddled 'I - I don't know what you're talking about.'

It was very strange to see the confident and self-assured Jet look so lost and confused. I certainly had never seen him this way – I had never imagined that someone like him could ever be anything but confident and purposeful and clear-minded about who he was and, even more, about what he wanted... now he seemed to doubt even that. In an effort to jog his real memories, Smellerbee suggested he should think of what the Fire Nation did to his family. Something _that_ powerful would be a good solid starting point for him to remember, sequentially, what happened until and after the Dai Li took him.

He obediently closed his eyes, picturing what happened and his expression instantly changed. His brows furrowed, his breathing became fast and shallow and sweat started beading his forehead. It was, unequivocally, a horrifying memory.

He had told me he was only a child of eight when his village was burnt down.

'No! It's too painful!' he cried suddenly, opening his eyes.

Yes, it _would_ be painful. I knew that. I was eight, too when I first knew a pain like that. Against my will, I felt a small twinge of sympathy for Jet, seeing him so vulnerable.

I went to stand behind him. 'Maybe this will help,' I said, drawing some water from my pouch onto both hands and letting my energy flow into it. Then I placed my hands on either side of Jet's head.

Yagoda had taught me that apart from healing headaches and such minor pains, the energy form the healing water also had the power to clear the mind, and calm turbulent or confused thoughts, and see things in perspective.

Jet's tense muscles slowly relaxed as I felt the Chi energy flow more freely in his mind

'They took me to a headquarters under the water, like a lake,' he said hesitantly, after a while.

Sokka remembered Joo Dee had gone to a certain Lake Laogai for her vacation.

'That's it! Lake Laogai!' Jet exclaimed.

'_Under_ the lake?' Smellerbee asked, dubiously.

'It was very dark... and damp... and green lights were everywhere,' Jet continued, hesitantly at first, but then speaking more firmly as floods of memories were released. 'I remember this circling light... always circling... I _have_ been brainwashed!'

'D'you think that place is big enough to hold Appa?' I asked him.

'It's huge – there were many doors and corridors and lots of Dai Li agents everywhere! There are some pretty big cells I could show you-'

'It must be their secret headquarters. It all makes sense – Joo Dee must have been sent there to have her brain re-adjusted too!' Sokka exclaimed. 'Now all we have to do is find it and we'll find Appa!'

'But why did they take Appa? Why give us a house in Ba Sing Se to stay in, while we search for him, when Long Feng knows exactly where he is?'

Aang was right.

None of us had an answer to his question. Perhaps Appa only fell into the Dai Li's hands recently – perhaps Long Feng wanted to definitely cripple any of our attempt to defeat Ozai, thinking, perhaps, that we would renew attempts to drag Ba Sing Se to war if we had our bison back – perhaps he needed Appa to blackmail us, if we managed to release his stranglehold on the city…. But given the story with Whaletail Island, Long Feng just wants us gone from the city now! Whether it was one of these reasons, or all of them, we couldn't say for sure, but we all knew that Lake Laogai was our next stop.

It was very late at night when we returned Jet to his rooms in the Lower Ring. We're camping as best we can in Jet's dingy place for what's left of the night, having made plans to leave the Inner Wall at dawn. The Lake is to the East of the city, and from his description, in the most rugged and untraveled part of the vast space between the Inner and Outer Walls, and one of the few places yet uncultivated and undeveloped.

Jet told us as much as he could remember about his strange ordeal with the Dai li agents and we have a fair idea of what to expect. As for expecting the unexpected – that is something our adventures have long taught us.

All I hope is that we find Appa. Today we came so close...

We were lucky we found a way of getting back Jet's memory. _I_ was the one to find a way – and certainly not by kissing him, as Sokka suggested! That's the _second time_ today I was teased about Jet being my boyfriend! Was my crush on him back then so evident? We were hardly in the treetop hideout for more than a couple of days!

Aang certainly hadn't noticed anything back then.

Or had he? He certainly didn't appreciate Sokka teasing me about kissing Jet just now – A 'bad idea', he called it, pointedly. I didn't miss the way he said it, nor the fact that he refused to look at me.

If Sokka teases again I'll freeze his mouth shut! I have absolutely no interest in Jet and if it wasn't for the fact that he can lead us to Appa's cell, I don't want him round. True, he didn't _deserve_ to be treated like that by the Dai Li, but still, I don't think he ever got what he deserved for the pre-meditated murder of a whole village of people! And how he involved us as unwitting accomplices! ...not to mention he tried to kill Aang when we discovered the truth about him!

I never thought I'd see Jet again, and be reminded of what a stupid, girlish infatuation almost cost us and the inhabitants of Gaipan. I'm sure if I had been thinking clearly at the time, I would've seen through his lies sooner, like Sokka did.

Aang has been unusually quiet all evening and has hardly spoken at all since we got Jet to remember what happened. Perhaps that old Janitor's words about Appa being 'meat' has raised the fears he had in the desert, when he thought the Sandbenders had the same intentions. But he should know that Long Feng wouldn't do that – Appa is far more important as a bargaining point – or as blackmail, so I'm not really sure what is worrying him. His silence certainly can't be because of Sokka's silly teasing...

After all, I thought I made my opinion of Jet emphatically clear. Tomorrow, I'll make them clearer if he tries anything funny. If he manages to lead us to Appa, I could perhaps consider he may have changed. And by 'changed' I mean that he feels _remorse_ for what he almost did to Gaipan's villagers, and to me and Aang.

Otherwise, he can't redeem himself in my eyes.


	48. Chapter 48

**211 st day of our journey and 27 th in Ba Sing Se. Today has been very eventful and perhaps the most outstanding of our entire stay in this city. **

**First of all, we finally found Appa, the Avatar's bison!**

**Secondly, we found the Dai Li's secret headquarters beneath Lake Laogai . It was a labyrinth of tunnels and rooms beneath the Lake where Long Feng and his agents carry out the mind-altering work that keep the citizens of Ba Sing Se firmly within their control. People are incarcerated and then Dai Li agents tamper with their minds, convincing them of living in a peaceful utopia... a lie that they are then meant to propagate among other citizens. **

**We were discovered and attacked by the Dai Li, headed by Long Feng, but managed to escape and find our way to the surface of Lake .**

**The only one who did not escape was Jet. **

**Long Feng killed him. Smellerbee and Long shot remained with their brave leader till the very end.**

**Pursued by the Dai Li we would have had a hard time escaping had it not been for Appa, who had escaped his captors and his prison beneath the lake. He charged the earthbenders savagely, then took Long Feng by the leg and hurled him across the lake!**

**We were very happy to be reunited with the Avatar's bison, and decided to persist with our original plan of telling the Earth King the truth that had been kept from him.**

**Breaking into the Royal Palace was relatively easy, but it took our combined skill to finally break through to the Throne room, where King Kuei was. **

**Unfortunately, so was Long Feng, who poured lies about us into the King's ears. With some difficulty, we managed to persuade the King to accompany us to the Outer Wall, where we could prove to him we spoke the truth. It was a big step for a man who had never, in all his life, been outside the Royal Palace, but the king was quite taken with the idea of riding on Appa and that is how finally we arrived, at sunset, at the Outer Wall where the King saw with his own eyes, the remnants of the Fire Nation Drill and ordered Long Feng to be arrested.**

**This evening, back at the Royal Palace, the King pledged his support on the day of Black Sun for the Invasion. General How, of the Council of Five and his men have discovered letters and documents belonging to us among Long Feng's things. These have somewhat changed our original plans: The Avatar is to seek Guru Pathik in the Eastern Air Temple, where he will be trained in controlling the Avatar state prior to the Invasion; I will stay with the King to help him plan the attack on the Day of Black Sun and Sokka will join our father, Chief Hakoda and his fleet, in Chameleon bay. Toph will visit her mother, who is in the city, then join me in helping the King understand a 100 years of missing information about the war. **

**I had an idea on how to do that – he will find, in this book, the events which have led up to this day...**

**For tonight we are guests at the Royal Palace, and tomorrow is the day we part company. Finally, the purpose behind the Avatar's journey is drawing nearer, and with King Kuei's help, this long war may soon be over. **

It has been a long day, and our happiness in finding Appa, is tempered with sadness...

Jet is dead.

What the Dai Li did to his mind is unforgiveable, but in the end, it was his own fierce loyalty to his friends and allies that saved him, and he overcame their power over him...

After a restless, uncomfortable, night on the bare floorboards of Jet's small room ( I think the soft living in our Upper Ring house has affected me) we left before dawn, taking an early train ride to Lake Laogai's western shore, where a small resort and spa were situated, and where all the people in the train got off. The next, and last, stop was in the middle of nowhere, between some rugged hills .

'Follow me,' Jet said, hurrying on ahead.

'You sure this is the way?' I asked suspiciously, catching up with him.

'Well, it was night-time when they got me here, but I'm sure we came this way.'

I was unconvinced.

'Katara – please trust me. I _have_ changed' he said, dropping his voice 'I know it's hard for you to believe me, but you can ask Smellerbee and Longshot – I came here to start a new life. I've left my old life behind me –'

'But have you brought your conscience along, though? Wait - perhaps you've never _had_ one!'

He looked stricken, but did not say anything else.

'It's not enough to '_leave it all behind_', Jet!' I shot at him over my shoulder as I moved on.

Jet did not try to speak to me again, and I did not want him to. I felt a bit ashamed, even then, for being so hard-hearted with him, but I couldn't quite forget what he had done, and how he was just simply walking away from it and 'leaving it behind'. People had been imprisoned, (or worse), for lesser crimes than he was guilty of!

Next minute, we had reached the top of the hill and below us, we saw the lake again. We ran down the hill to its shores and Toph said there was a tunnel close by, then proceeded to earthbend it out of the water. It definitely looked like a secret entrance – open only to earrthbenders …. and all Dai li agents were earthbenders .

The entrance led to a steep shaft leading deep beneath the lake. Once down there, where the bright morning sun could not reach, we found ourselves in passageway illuminated by the ubiquitous green crystal lights.

We passed several rooms wherein Dai Li agents were indoctrinating 'Joo Dees' is the art of false smiles and even falser tourist information. The reason for the slightly vacant expression in our Joo Dee's eyes became all too clear now. Many other chambers were empty or contained prisoners awaiting their brain-washing treatment. As we walked along, Jet started remembering more clearly what had happened to him and the layout of the place.

'I think there might be a cell big enough to hold Appa up ahead,' he said, stopping before one of the closed doors 'I think it's through here.'

But it wasn't. It was a vast dim cavern with Dai li agents hanging like viper-bats from the ceiling, waiting for us in ambush. They were led by none other than Long Feng himself – no doubt, his spy system had already warned him of our intention as soon as we boarded the train.

'You have made yourselves enemies of the state,' he told us succinctly, before ordering the Dai Li to take us into custody.

The Dai Li fought well – I'll give them that. Apart from spying and intrigue, they could also hold their own against the four of us, and that's saying something! Their use of the stone gloves is accurate, and effectively disables anyone who's not an earthbender. Even Toph had her hands full, and, on one occasion, had to be saved by Jet.

However, it soon became clear that we had the upper hand, as I had no doubt we eventually would, but then I heard Aang shout that Long Feng was escaping – just like the coward that he was! Aang and Jet raced after him, while the rest of us finished off the remaining Dai Li.

The door had closed behind them so I couldn't see what was happening, but when we finally got rid of the last of the Dai Li, Toph earthbended the door open and we ran down a long passageway beyond that led to another door – beyond, we found ourselves in a huge underground chamber with many large pipes in the walls and spilling their water into a moat all around. In the middle of the room, Aang crouched down by the still figure of Jet, who lay on the ground, weaponless and unmoving, beneath a cruel, jagged out-thrust of rock that had evidently hit him in the chest.

I knew something was very wrong immediately, for his face was deathly pale, so I hurried over, hastily drawing forth some water around my hands and knelt down by his side, placing the glowing water onto his chest.

And I knew then.

His Chi force was weak – almost gone. I could feel it leaving him, barely perceptible as his breath became shallower. Beneath my hands there was the final, weak, fluttering of his heart. That blow had been aimed there, and it was bleeding now – leaching his life force away, his ribs were broken and his lungs pierced. I had seen this kind of injury among the Fire Nation soldiers in the Siege of the North, crushed by flying metal of their own exploding machinery. They had all perished with injuries this severe, and there was no way I could stem or heal the loss of their vital energy...

I looked up at the others. They were all waiting in silence, with stricken faces.

'This isn't good,' was all I could manage to tell them.

Smellerbee and Longshot wanted to stay by his side, for he was their leader and urged us to go look for Appa. I didn't want to leave them, but it was Jet himself who insisted.

'Don't worry, Katara, I'll be fine,' he said, with a brave smile.

He knew he was dying. He was telling me that he was fine, that he was at peace – he had redeemed himself and I knew that now. The burning, restless desire for revenge that had consumed him for so long, that had led him to make so many mistakes, had finally released its hold on him and he was at peace. I closed my eyes, for I felt a lump in my throat. Then I stood up and followed the others out of the chamber.

I could hear Smellerbee's sobs as we left them there with their dead leader...

Aang explained what happened in a low voice. He said that Long Feng had uttered some strange words that triggered something unexpected in Jet – a crazy attack on Aang himself.

'It was like he didn't know me,' Aang told us 'His pupils were dilated and he had this weird look on his face, obeying Long Feng's orders – he only stopped when I mentioned he was a Freedom Fighter... he seemed to wake up then and attacked Long Feng instead. He missed, Long Feng retaliated, and...and...' his voice faltered and stopped.

We walked in silence to where Jet said a large chamber was located, but once inside we saw that once again, for the second time, we had missed Appa. There were six large manacles still with Appa's hair stuck to them.

'Long Feng beat us here!' Aang said.

But the passageway could only have led forward – towards the surface of the Lake, according to Toph, so we pressed forward, hoping to catch up with them, and emerged out on the surface of the lake near the shoreline. Long Feng had indeed come this way with Appa, and with other Dai Li agents, for they were all waiting for us.

Once more we were under attack, but this time, help came from an unexpected source – Appa flew out of the sky with a thunderous roar, like a furry ten-ton avenging spirit, and broke through the Dai Li's defences. They all ended up in the lake, including Long Feng, whom Appa had taken a particularly dislike to (no doubt, with good reason).

We all flung ourselves on Appa hugging every furry inch of him we could reach. I was so happy – it had been almost _a whole month_ since I had seen him and I loved feeling his great warm bulk beneath my outstretched arms and hearing the deep, familiar rumble, like a loud purr, that vibrates his whole body when he's happy. And he certainly was happy now – his soft, brown eyes closed contentedly as he let us fuss over him. But Toph warned us that beneath the ground, under the lake, she could feel the tramping of hundreds of feet –

'Looks like we stirred up a whole Buzzard-wasp nest in there!' she shouted 'More Dai Li agents are on the way...'

'Right, let's get out of here!' Sokka agreed.

Aang, whose eyes were wet with tears, just nodded, joy and relief shining on his face.

It was a bit wobbly sitting on Appa without a saddle, but we sat in a close huddle on Appa's neck, where it's quite stable, and took off. Now that the immediate danger was over and Appa was back with us safe and sound, I couldn't help thinking about Jet and the Freedom Fighters as we flew over the lake – they down there somewhere: Smellerbee and Longshot, in a brave last stand against a powerful enemy they could not hope to overcome, protecting the body of the one who had given them so much, and cared for them so much when nobody else would ...

And just this morning I had accused Jet of having no conscience...

The bright morning sun glinted off the blue surface of the lake, hiding the horrors beneath the surface. Its harsh reflection made my eyes swim with tears... or perhaps, it wasn't just the sun...

I felt the warmth of someone's hand on my shoulder and knew, instinctively, that it was Aang. I turned round, wiping away a tear and found him looking at me in concern.

'He's dead, Aang,' I whispered. 'I know he is.'

Toph and Sokka heard me and we all drew into a hug, each of us deriving some comfort in our closeness. The Freedom Fighters had been a close-knit band just like us, too...

'It was because of Jet that I found Appa,' Aang said, after a while, 'I'll always be grateful for what he did...'

'And I'll always blame myself for not having believed him,' I said in a small voice 'I'll always blame myself for seeing just the bad in him...'

'There _was_ bad in him, but he died a warrior's death – that's something to be proud of...' Sokka said, simply.

I nodded, feeling slightly better. Aang moved forward to pull lightly on Appa's left horn, directing him towards a small islet in the middle of the lake, for Appa had no reins. The tiny island had a little sheltered beach and Aang set Appa down there while we decided on our next move. It did my heart good to see the two of them together again – Appa just couldn't get enough of his Master – and not surprising: although the bison looked well and healthy, it seemed to me had had lost a bit of weight, and there were many round, raised, marks beneath his fur like welts, only harder to the touch. When I examined them better, I could see they were half-healed scar tissue, probably the result of small, infected wounds. Given their number and shape, Aang guessed Appa had had a close encounter with a Boar-q-pine. Thankfully, most of them were in the process of healing, and there was no sign of infection.

Sokka was in high spirits, and felt that we should go back to our original plan and tell the Earth King the truth about the war and about the eclipse, but I just wanted to put as many miles as possible between us and Ba Sing Se, for Long Feng's treacherous tentacles were far and wide in the city. Toph was with me – for she hated the city, but then, surprisingly, Aang took Sokka's side:

'Now that we have Appa back, there is nothing stopping us from telling the Earth King the truth about the conspiracy and the war,' he said.

As usual in our little gang, decisions were taken by together, and I guess they could feel me wavering. The appearance of three Dai Li ships searching for us on the lake decided me. They were looking for us already, and with Appa, hiding was not an option.

'Let's fly!' I said, decisively.

The boys gave a victory sign and Toph groaned, but now that we had decided, the idea grew on me: I wanted to strike a blow against the Dai Li and Long Feng especially. Even if we did not manage to convince the King on our first attempt, we would make sure he stayed there and _listened_ to us – after 4 weeks, it was about time we got our long-postponed audience with him! If we did not convince him entirely, I was sure we could plant the seed of doubt about his Grand Secretariat!

It was an uncomfortable flight without a saddle – Appa's back is pretty sloping and Aang was pushing him to fly hard and fast, in order to outrun any Dai Li agents and arrive before Long Feng alerted the palace, for we had spent a little too long on that little island.

In fact, although we breezed right in over the Royal Palace walls, they were expecting us. The Royal Guards shot massive plug-like boulders at us. Toph was helplessly clinging to Appa's fur, as he veered this way and that to avoid them and could not help, but Aang deflected the surface-to-air rocks almost casually, barely noticing them, then he guided Appa down in the large open space before the main royal building.

We jumped off Appa ready for action – and action we got! Hundreds of soldiers swarmed towards us, hurling rocks at us. They were skilled earthbenders, but their style was formal and over-disciplined: they were not trained to expect the unexpected (or 'fight dirty' as Toph put it.) She and Aang outmatched them easily – I was amazed how good Aang had become at earthbending – he and Toph moved in inexorably forwards, always one step ahead of the Royal Guards, waiting for them to act, then outsmarting them at the last minute.

Not that I had much time to stand and admire them – I had my hands full clearing the way for us to move forward towards the palace. I must say it was quite easy: these Royal Guards had evidently never tangled with a waterbender before, and had no idea how to defend themselves from even a simple Water Whip... I felt a bit guilty about hurting them – they were only doing their duty after all, but I guess it was all in a good cause.

We fought our way across the moat and then finally made it through the palace doors and into the vast, elaborately-decorated corridors of the palace itself. Eventually, Sokka saw the door to the Throne Room – massive and impressive; the door was floor-to-ceiling at the end of the main corridor. Only Aang and Toph could open it with a combined air and earth-bending effort.

It came down, blown clean off its hinges with a resounding crash that echoed in the vast chamber beyond. There, sitting on a throne canopied by a symbolic statue of a Badgermole, was the Earth King.

He looked very young – perhaps in his late twenties. He had a pale, thin face with delicately-carved features. Slanting, pale-green eyes peered at us from behind small, round spectacles and his lips were set in a grim line. I was thinking he looked more like a University student or an intellectual than a King, when suddenly I was staring at Long Feng's furious face. He and his Dai Li agents interposed themselves between us and the King. We prepared for battle, even as Aang appealed to the king.

'We need to talk to you!' Aang said

'They're here to overthrow you,' Long Feng countered.

Given our dramatic and destructive entrance, we were hard put to convince the King we were on his side.

'If you're own my side,' King Kuei said 'then drop your weapons and stand down.'

We did, and a second later had the Dai li's stone gloves pinning our hands behind our back.

But then Long Feng made a mistake:

'Make sure the Avatar and his friends never see daylight again,' he told his Dai Li agents.

'The Avatar?' King Kuei exclaimed, surprised.

We hadn't even had time to explain about Aang so it came as a bit of a surprise to the King and I could see he was intrigued. When Bosco, the King's near went up to Aang and licked him affectionately, Aang chuckled, and I saw the King's lips twitch upwards in amusement.

'I'll hear what he has to say,' King Kuei declared.

Aang told him, in a nutshell, what had been happening.

Now it's quite a lot of stuff to put in _a nutshell_ and the King was rather sceptical.

'Your claim is difficult to believe, even from an Avatar,' he said.

Long Feng started whispering something in the King's ear – I heard the word 'Anarchist' and I knew Long Feng was trying to pass us off as some crazy rebels, but then Sokka got the idea of exposing the Appa's bite marks on Long Feng's legs and comparing that to Appa himself.

It worked – at least to the point of convincing the earth King to investigate our claims further.

'We start at BA Sing Se train station!' Sokka yelled cheerfully 'First train to Lake Laogai leaves early afternoon! By the way – I'm Sokka, and this is my sister, Katara, and Toph. We're travelling with Aang.'

So, after that rather informal and brusque introduction, we started the arrangements for the King's journey – we found that it was not that simple, for the King was burdened by ritual and tradition. It took a while to persuade the King that he did not need his entire Royal Guard and Palanquin to travel on the train. We whittled his guards to just a handful, and set out.

'After all, you don't need Guards – you have us,' Aang told him, cheerfully.

'I'm seeing the reasoning behind your comment, Avatar' King Kuei replied acerbically, as he looked the chaos in the palace grounds.

It was not the only thing he found out – apparently he has never left the palace ground, much less rode on a train. Quite a few heads were turned on that trip, making His Highness feel rather uncomfortable! However, he loved the small hike over the hills, saying the terrain was nothing like he had ever walked on before (Hardly surprising, if all he ever saw was the manicured gardens of the Royal Palace ) and he also loved seeing Appa fly. But when we finally arrived at Lake Laogai, we found that Long Feng had destroyed the entrance to the headquarters and the Headquarters themselves.

But then I remembered the drill machine – that would still be there! It took a promise of ride on Appa for an irritated King Kuei to agree to go to the Outer Wall, a place no Earth King had visited, but in the end, Aang flew us high above the Agrarian Zone and towards the place where we first entered Ba Sing Se, as a thrilled King Kuei held on to Appa's fur for dear life.

The sun was setting when we finally arrived at the Outer Wall. The Drill was there – broken and dusty, surrounded by a hastily-built wall, but there was still a faintly-menacing air about the long, shining, metal cylinder still biting deep into Ba Sing Se's massive Wall.

Aang landed Appa on top of the Outer wall and King Kuei looked down in horror at the Drill, completely shaken out of his apathy.

Long Feng appeared soon after and tried to convince King Kuie that the drill (With a Fire Nation Insignia!) was a construction project. The Cultural Minister lied very convincingly - I suppose as befits someone who is the head of such a vast web of lies and intrigues. For a moment, I thought we had failed to convince the King, but then I realised the expression on Kuei's face clearly said: do you think I am _that_ stupid?

He ordered Long Feng arrested to stand trial.

_Finally!_

I breathed a mental sigh of relief – we had broken through Long Feng's decades-old stranglehold on the King and his city. It hadn't been easy – through the years, the Dai Li had carefully eliminated all knowledge of it especially within the Palace walls. The Drill was the only unequivocal evidence of a Fire Nation attack!

Kuei glanced one last time at the Drill machine, and then headed towards Appa , climbing gracefully up his tail like Aang had taught him.

On our way back to the Palace, the King's young face was set in grim lines, and a muscle worked on his jaw – I could tell that he was angry at having been kept in the dark about the war – and what he knew about the war was only what Aang summarised in a couple of sentences ...he would need to see everything _in detail_.

However, riding bareback on a bison was not the time and place. Aang kept Appa on an even keel as much as possible– without surface-to-air-rocks being hurled at us, the ride was relatively comfortable.

It was dark by the time we arrived at the Palace, but the King gave instructions on where to stable Appa and then told us to join him immediately in the Throne room. After Appa was safe and comfortable in the Guard's Ostrich-horse stables, we followed the Guards to the Throne Room. The palace grounds had already been restored to some semblance of order after our forced entry, and we could still see earthbenders working through the night to patch up the worst of the damage.

The King, with Bosco at his feet, was waiting for us. He dismissed his Guards and said he would speak with us alone.

'I have sent message to some of my Military commanders, informing them of my decision' he said 'But I'm still surprised at them - I knew that they did not only protect the Outer Wall, but were also involved in military actions beyond Ba Sing Se, but Long Feng always told me they were just keeping the peace in the Earth Kingdom...minor fighting and rivalry between towns...They must have known about the war, so why didn't they ever tell me?! I have spoken to them, on occasion.'

'You've been surrounded by the Dai Li's tight web of control for too long,' I said 'Any attempts by your Generals to defy them would have been severely punished.'

'Yeah ... people lose their job, their house, and even their minds!' Sokka explained emphatically. A "holiday to Lake Laogai" is not quite what it sounds like.'

King Kuei listened open-mouthed as Sokka described the Dai Li's indoctrination methods and the sinister control on people's minds.

'I'm quite sure that your top military commanders were aware of the fact that they – or their families - stood to lose not only their careers, but something more important if they attempted to tell you the truth,' Sokka ended.

'Not that they didn't _try_,' I added.

'You mean there were attempts to tell me the truth?' The King looked at me.

'Yes, many are still loyal to you, Your Highness. You may remember General Dao, one of the Council of Five.'

'Ye-es. But I never met him. He was supposed to be present during a military ceremony here at the Palace, but he ...' King Kuei's face darkened as realisation hit him '...Long Feng told me he died in an accident before the ceremony. What happened?'

I took out my little Earth Book. 'This was his, Your Highness. He intended to write a journal of his military campaign against the Fire Nation and then present you with the book at the ceremony, in the hope that you might believe his first-hand account. But the Dai Li found out and had him killed by sending him and his small contingent of soldiers on a suicide mission to stop a large Fire Nation army on its way North.'

King Kuei looked grim as he held out his hand for the book. I gave it to him.

'This is a Lei-Han book,' he said, running his long fingers expertly down the spine and worn leather of the book 'I have many of their scrolls and books in my private collection in the Palace Library– there are centuries old and priceless.'

He opened the first page and gazed down at the squat little Earth symbol in the middle.

'So – this book holds the truth then? Did General Dao write about the war?'

'Uh ... not quite. He didn't have time, I think. Or perhaps he knew it was useless -he knew he would not survive his mission.'

'But this book is full of writing,' King Kuei's eyes passed swiftly over the words.

'The writing is mine, Your Highness,' I could feel the color rising in my cheeks as I felt the others' eyes upon me. Both Aang and Sokka suspect that, like my old scroll, the book is more than a simple journal.

'Yours, Katara?' King Kuei's pale, green eyes looked at me, puzzled.

'The Fire Nation Army that massacred General Dao and his men were on their way to join Admiral Zhao's fleet for the Siege of the North. They must have taken the journal as spoils of war.'

'Admiral Zhao? Siege of the North? You mean the _North_ Pole?!'

Clearly the King had a lot to catch up with.

'Admiral Zhao and his Fire Nation fleet intended to destroy the Avatar and the Northern Water Tribe' Sokka continued 'Do you remember some months ago, when the Moon turned dark?'

'Yes – none of my astronomers could explain the phenomenon.'

'Zhao did not only aim to destroy the Avatar – he wanted to destroy the Moon Spirit, whose mortal form lived in the Spirit Oasis there and thus rob the Northern Water Tribe of their waterbending powers,' Sokka explained. 'He almost managed.'

'But Aang, as the Ocean Spirit, saved us from Zhao that day, and the fleet was destroyed,' I glossed hastily over the aftermath of the battle, 'This book was washed up near the Northern Water Tribe's outer wall – we asked everyone, but no-one claimed it so I took it, using it as a journal.'

King Kuei was looking at us open-mouthed 'Moon Spirit?! The Ocean Spirit destroying an Admiralty Fleet? Your adventures are incredulous! And is that what you have been writing in this journal?'

I nodded, knowing, even as I did, that Toph could tell I was lying.

'May I read it, Katara?'

'Actually, Your Highness, I think that book is rightfully yours in the event of General Dao's demise.'

Once again, I felt the others' eyes on me. Toph, too. They knew I didn't want to part with it.

King Kuei smiled as he flipped through the pages. 'No - I want you to have it. I can see that you are documenting an incredible journey. I have given instructions that the palace and Upper Ring be searched for all documents relating to the war, but from what you say, they will have been destroyed or well-hidden, so I would still like your permission to read this journal, Katara – possibly, it is the only truthful account of the war that I can get my hands on at short notice!'

'Certainly, Your Highness,' I breathed a mental sigh of relief 'You will find plenty of allusions to the war with Fire Nation.'

'And the Rough Rhinos, the Yuyan Archers and Aang's persecution by the Fire Lord son...' Sokka provided.

'And daughter,' Toph added.

'And those deadly Fire Nation girls - the chi-blocking one' I said 'and the knife thrower.'

'Yeah - they were at the Outer Wall, in the Drill machine,' Aang explained.

King Kuei looked at each of us in turn, aghast, and handed me back my book.

'Clearly I still have much to learn, but I want to thank you, young heroes, for opening my eyes,' he said, finally 'All this time, what I thought was a great metropolis, was merely a city of fools, and that makes me the king fool.' He buried his face in his hand, overwhelmed at the magnitude of what he had been kept in the dark about 'We're at war, with the _Fire_ Nation!'

That reminded us of our original mission, and Sokka and Aang explained about the Comet and about the window of opportunity presented by the Solar Eclipse before the comet gave the Firebenders unlimited power. King Kuei, realising he had little option, agreed to give us his support.

Just then, we were interrupted by General How, one of the members of the Council of Five who said they had found some documents about us in Long Feng's Office. We followed the King and the General to the ex-Grand Secretariat's office - the room we had mistaken for a library the night of Bosco's party. General How explained how they had found the Dai Li had secret files on everybody, and some letters which seemed important. King Kuei himself handed us the scrolls .Toph passed hers on to me. It was from her mother, who was in the city. Aang had one form the Eastern Air Temple, and Sokka and I were given an intelligence report that our Dad's fleet was in Chameleon Bay.

We were ecstatic to hear that he was ok – the date on intelligence report was recent. We hadn't heard from Dad since we spoke to Bato months ago. Neither Sokka nor I had voiced our doubts, but I think we were both secretly worried that something might have happened to him and the rest of the ships. Zhao's fleet had been defeated, but that didn't mean the Fire Nation didn't have any more warships... And warships weren't the only danger – a storm at sea could wreak just as much havoc.

But Dad was alive, and, for now, that was all that mattered.

'I am going to my chambers, now,' King Kuei told us, handing a bunch of files to the Guard accompanying him. 'I need to read some of the Dai Li secret files – they will be very useful in telling me who is still loyal to me, and who is not. I suggest you get some sleep – it has been a long day. I will see you all tomorrow, for we need to talk more in detail about the war. Katara –please bring that journal along.'

'It never leaves my side, Your Highness' I said, indicating the pouch beneath my water skin.

But we didn't go home straight away. We needed to figure out what to do next.

I read out Toph's letter first. It was carefully worded and had a touch of formality, but her mother was, essentially, begging for daughter's forgiveness for misunderstanding her abilities for so many years. Toph's expression was ecstatic – I knew she secretly still sought her parent's approval and recognition.

Aang read out his letter – it was from a Guru living in the Eastern Air Temple who said he could help Aang control the Avatar State- that was really good news for I had found absolutely nothing in Ba Sing Se library, and had given up hope of doing so. No one in living memory remembered the previous Avatar Roku, so there wasn't much to go on.

But even as Aang explained, I suddenly started to see that this was all leading the inevitable; we had had 4 weeks in Ba Sing Se doing almost nothing at all but look for Appa and now, suddenly, there were a hundred things to do in a hundred different places with a deadline that was fast approaching.

'I hate to say it, but...we have to split up' I said, looking across at Aang.

As I expected, he reacted forcefully to the idea. 'Split up? We just found Appa and got the family back together,' he cried, vehemently 'Now you want us to separate?!'

I closed my eyes for I could not bear to see the silent plea in his – I did not want us to separate either. In all these months, we'd always been together through thick or thin, and now, for many selfish reasons, I wanted Aang by my side. I did not want him travelling on his own to meet this Guru guy who might not even be, or know, what he claimed to know.

But it was his last – and only - chance. We were planning _an invasion_ on the Fire Nation, not some skirmish with a few Fire nation soldiers in the woods! Everyone would be in danger, but most of all, Aang. He could and would go into the Avatar state if pushed to it, and if he was unprepared and uncontrolled, the consequences could be disastrous.

I looked up and spoke firmly. 'You have to meet this Guru, Aang. If we're gonna invade the Fire Nation, you need to be ready.'

I think he saw in my eyes that I was telling him this for his own good, for he smiled then and offered to drop me off at Chameleon Bay to see Dad. I was about to unthinkingly agree – I hadn't seen Dad in such a long time, and I wanted to speak to him about so many things... and a long ride on Appa with Aang would mitigate the separation we would soon be facing...

Something in Aang's eager expression told me he was thinking along those same lines.

With a flutter of alarm, I was wondering whether the last would be a good idea or not, when Sokka gloomily said he'd stay behind and help the King plan the invasion. Sokka was our idea guy, so I suppose we had all assumed he'd be the one to help plan the invasion – it had been _his_ idea all along, and he'd been burning to start. But I realised that Sokka missed helping Dad much more than planning an invasion with a King.

'No Sokka, I know how badly you want to help Dad. You go to Chameleon Bay, I'll stay here with the king'.

That earned me a big, sloppy kiss from my big brother and a disappointed look from Aang.  
But perhaps, it is better this way.

We have each been offered palatial rooms in the king's palace for tonight (They've sent someone over to fix the wall Toph broke in our house in the Upper Ring) and even servants to wait on us! I thought living in the Upper Ring was privilege enough, but this is even more luxurious –I have a huge bedroom with silk hangings and sheets, and an adjoining wash room that looks like a miniature spa, but I don't like being waited on: I had servants buzzing and fussing around me all evening. Finally, I sent them away – all except one rather talkative girl who insisted on combing and brushing my hair.

'The sign of a real noble lady is if her hair is brushed with a 100 brushstrokes each night,' she said.

I let her prattle on about the 100 signs of a noble lady's good grooming – I wasn't interested and I wasn't listening – it seemed trivial, compared to what was going through my mind. But the hair-brushing was soothing and I let my mind wander to the many events of today – so much had happened : we had found a friend and lost a friend; we had defied the Dai Li and convinced the Earth King to invade the Fire Nation...and, after more than 7 months together, 'Team Avatar' was about to split up... my emotions had been in turmoil all day, and I had gone from feeling sad and guilty at Jet's tragic end, to being ecstatic over finding Appa, convincing King Kuei, and learning that Father and the men of our tribe are alive and well.

Yet, even at this late point in the evening, I had mixed feelings about the future...

I was thinking that, perhaps, some days away from Aang would give me a breathing space to step back and think calmly, when there was a knock on the door and Aang himself came in ...

'Oooooh ! It's the Avatar!' the silly servant girl cried, covering her mouth 'And I haven't finished your hair and your attire ...' She made it sound like she'd committed a crime.

'It's ok, Aang and I don't stand on ceremony,' I explained, as Aang threw her a puzzled look and stepped inside.

Still looking distressed and flushed, she continued brushing my hair.

'I couldn't sleep,' he said.

'Yeah - a lot has happened today,' I agreed, looking at his reflection in the large mirror I was sitting in front of. 'A _lot!_'

He looked slightly uncomfortable, as though he didn't quite know what to say.

'I'm going to check on Appa,' he said finally.

I saw him look at the girl brushing my hair, and suddenly I had the feeling that he didn't want her there.

'Appa will be alright in the King's stables, Aang. There are Palace Guards – he'll be safe.'

'Yeah - that's what my head keeps telling me. But something else keeps urging me to check on him every five minutes, just to be sure he's still there!'

'That's only natural – after almost a month missing him, I really don't blame you,' I smiled at him through the mirror 'You're gonna sleep there, aren't you?'

He smiled back. 'Just tonight,' he admitted.

My hair was tugged none too gently and I saw the servant-girl's eyes had opened wide in surprise.

'Please don't tell the Earth King,' Aang told her, hurriedly 'I really like the room he gave me, it's very fancy and stuff –'

'But there are too many walls, right?'

'You felt it, too? Even back in our house?'

'After what we were used to – sleeping under the stars almost every night, it felt a bit strange being separated by walls every evening – more so here,' I said, wryly.

'I got used seeing you write by firelight every evening before falling asleep...couldn't do that here.'

The movement of the brush down the length of my hair had slowed to a stop and I saw the servant girl staring wide-eyed at us. Probably she'd never heard of such open and immodest behaviour. Well, she didn't understand _anything!_

I caught Aang's eyes in the mirror and smiled briefly. The servant girl resumed brushing my hair – though I was sure she was past her 100 th brushstroke by now.

'I hope my writing by firelight will serve for something tomorrow, when King Kuei reads it.'

Aang didn't answer immediately. His eyes were following the brush as it moved down the length of my hair.

'I gotta go now,' he said finally, with a barely audible sigh, and moved back to the door.

But then he hesitated and came back – I could see him, in the mirror, standing behind my stool.

'Katara – about Jet...' he said slowly 'I'm really sorry he had to die and Appa had to live – it seems unfair. He was a good friend in the end.'

'I know. I was really upset for having misjudged him. For not giving him a chance, when everyone else did.'

Aang said nothing for a while, then:

'Perhaps that's because he hurt you more than he did anyone else,' he said in a low voice. 'Back in Gaipan, I didn't know until – until the end, when he tried to persuade you one last time….'

I looked up at him, not knowing what to say. I couldn't lie. Aang had seen Jet attempt to caress my face just minutes before attempting to flood Gaipan village. If he hadn't noticed anything before that moment, he must have, by then.

'Perhaps he did...hurt me.' I answered in a deadpan voice. That was all gone now.

Aang's expression changed ever so slightly, as though coming to a tough conclusion.

'I hope you'll feel better soon, Katara' he said, as he turned once more to the door.

Suddenly, I remembered that Aang was the first to comfort me when Jet died, despite thinking I may still have feelings for the Freedom Fighter. Aang had been _there_ for me.

'Aang – wait! It - it was really long ago and even then, it was nothing like what Sokka said – Jet never even kissed me, or anything!' I blurted out.

The brush fell with a clatter and the servant girl fumbled around on the floor with a flushed face to retrieve it.

What on earth did I need to say _that _for?! And why wouldn't the hairbrush-girl go away!?

In the mirror, I could see a rising flush in my face, but my eyes were fixed on Aang's. He didn't say anything... he didn't _need_ to: we both knew who had really kissed me, in a dark cave, once. And I was very much aware that that person was standing right behind me, looking at me with a faint, surprised, smile on his lips. The servant-girl rose up from the floor with the brush in her hand and a muttered excuse.

I did the same – I said something about tying my hair and fled to the adjoining washroom, my cheeks on fire and my mind in turmoil.

When I came out again, both Aang and the servant-girl had gone.

It's very late now, and I'm writing this on a sumptuous feather-bed with embroidered silk sheets – but my mind keeps wandering to the young airbender, now curled up asleep on nothing else but Appa's warm fur – and to the fate of the Freedom Fighters beneath Lake Laogai – and to the imminent parting of ways tomorrow... so many things... so many _things!_

Putting my thoughts down on paper has helped as it always does, and after today's tumultuous events and their consequences, I really need to see things clearly. Much as I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow's separation, I will use it to take a step back and reign in my feelings for Aang, for they are eclipsing everything else - including my clear thinking...

Perhaps, if Aang feels the same way, it will be a good thing for both of us.

We are no longer wandering aimlessly in the streets of Ba Sing Se now, without clear plans or clear purpose - we are going to invade the Fire Nation... let me repeat: _invade the Fire Nation_ ... NO-ONE has ever done that before!

Everything else must come second, mustn't it?


End file.
